Pet Peeves: Aka Things That Make You Go "Gah!"

[rcc]

29 minutes ago, peacheslatour said:

Before my dad went into care, he was handing out money to anyone that asked him to. There were these "official" looking mailings for all kinds of causes and political fund raising scams and he just didn't know the difference. He once thought he had won five million dollars and all he had to do was send them ten thousand for "handling". If his bank hadn't called me, he would have sent it.

I remember my mother getting a call saying she won the Australian lottery. She told them she didn't know anyone in Australia and hung up. That was many years ago. We thought it was funny at the time but it really isn't and much worse these days.

[peacheslatour]

5 minutes ago, Elizabeth Anne said:

This was always my worry with my mother.  She had very limited vision and while her mind was still sharp she was also too ready to believe any hard luck story someone gave her.  In the months since she died we've found that she was doing monthly automatic donations to, at last count, 12 different charities.  None were scams I don't think (although frankly some of the religious ones look dodgy to me) and this brings me to another peeve;

Has anyone here tried to get your name off one of these places?  Good luck to you.  Most do not want to stop sending you begging letters.  Even after you're dead apparently.  The only way I could stop the monthly withdrawals was to close her bank account down.  That got a reaction alright.  But they can send me appeal letters all they want, they go straight into the recycling bin.  And now I know which charities I will never support.

Oh god, yes. As soon as I realized what was going on, I had his mail re-routed to my house. You wouldn't believe the crap we get and some of it is for my mom. She's been gone since 2017. Some of it, like stuff from her old college sorority was easy to stop, I just called them and the political garbage I stopped by disputing every one of the charges until they gave up but the rest? We get piles every day and it drives us crazy.

[Browncoat]

30 minutes ago, Elizabeth Anne said:

Has anyone here tried to get your name off one of these places?  Good luck to you.  Most do not want to stop sending you begging letters.  Even after you're dead apparently.  The only way I could stop the monthly withdrawals was to close her bank account down.  That got a reaction alright.  But they can send me appeal letters all they want, they go straight into the recycling bin.  And now I know which charities I will never support.

I am facing the same issue with mail for my mother.  I've found that either writing "Deceased, Return to Sender" on the outer envelope, or opening it and using their postage-paid envelope and payment coupon (again, writing "Deceased" on it) and sending it back has stopped the vast majority of the begging letters.  One of them actually sent us a condolence card!

[SoMuchTV]

23 minutes ago, Browncoat said:

I am facing the same issue with mail for my mother.  I've found that either writing "Deceased, Return to Sender" on the outer envelope, or opening it and using their postage-paid envelope and payment coupon (again, writing "Deceased" on it) and sending it back has stopped the vast majority of the begging letters.  One of them actually sent us a condolence card!

Oh, yes, that’s so frustrating. When my mother died almost 6 years ago, we had her mail forwarded to our address. So apparently USPS makes no distinction about the reason for forwarding, so they not only forwarded all the solicitations, they ever so helpfully provided the senders with the new address. And apparently also provided it to a ton of local businesses who wanted to welcome her to the new neighborhood. 

On the plus side, we now get an extra set of Kroger coupons (based on what she used to buy).

And this is more funny than peevy at this point, but we just got a fundraising letter addressed to the person we bought our house from, in 1988.  

[EtheltoTillie]

3 hours ago, RealHousewife said:

Not being able to watch videos in chronological order on YouTube anymore. 

Why not?  I haven't noticed this problem. 

[TattleTeeny]

People who don’t see something within one second of looking for it and just give up and assume it’s not there. I swear to god, man — WTF? Is it that hard to realize that sometimes you have to move something to the left or right?

[SuprSuprElevated]

The UAW is still sending beg letters and voting proxies to my m-i-l at our address.  She was born in 1912, and died in 2000 ffs.  No, we never officially notified them of her death, but seems someone would look at a birthdate or retirement date (approx. 1978) or something.  Imagine the money they're wasting by such nonsense.

Edited November 29, 2022 by SuprSuprElevated

[Bastet]

45 minutes ago, TattleTeeny said:

People who don’t see something within one second of looking for it and just give up and assume it’s not there. I swear to god, man — WTF? Is it that hard to realize that sometimes you have to move something to the left or right?

My mom has been muttering this about my dad for over 50 years now.  But he somehow only has this blindness in the refrigerator.  Anywhere else, he looks around like the intelligent person he is.  But if whatever he's looking for in the refrigerator isn't front and center, he's somehow rendered incapable of moving items to look behind them.

[Calvada]

3 hours ago, SoMuchTV said:

Oh, yes, that’s so frustrating. When my mother died almost 6 years ago, we had her mail forwarded to our address. So apparently USPS makes no distinction about the reason for forwarding, so they not only forwarded all the solicitations, they ever so helpfully provided the senders with the new address. And apparently also provided it to a ton of local businesses who wanted to welcome her to the new neighborhood. 

On the plus side, we now get an extra set of Kroger coupons (based on what she used to buy).

And this is more funny than peevy at this point, but we just got a fundraising letter addressed to the person we bought our house from, in 1988.  

I was getting requests from a local charity for donations in my name and the woman who lived at my address more than 20 years ago, both arriving on the same day.  It's a reputable organization, one I make an annual donation to, so after years of tossing the mail addressed to Jane in the recycling bin, I finally returned the envelope addressed to her with my donation, asking that they remove her from their mailing list, since she hasn't lived here for 2 decades, and oh by the way, she died about 5 years ago.  It's no wonder these organizations are constantly seeking donations since they are wasting so much money on printing and postage.  

My dad subscribed to a lot of magazines, none of which interested my mom.  It seems that he had renewed several of them for multi years shortly before he became ill.  I volunteered to contact the various customer service centers to cancel them.  My mom wasn't even concerned with getting refunds, she just wanted the magazines to stop arriving at her home.  Most were no problem  (there was a woman at one, possibly Golf Magazine, who was so sympathetic about my father's death that I almost started crying) but one magazine refused to cancel his subscription since only the subscriber could cancel.  But he was DEAD!!  

[theredhead77]

• Comic Sans used for work / professional emails
• Signature line pet peeves:
  • Extraordinarily long or ill formatted signature lines
  • Signature lines with sparkle images / holiday images
  • Signature lines with religious or inspirational quotes

[Jaded]

I remember getting multiple calls a year from people who said they were with the "Fraternal Order of Police" and were calling for donations. I'd tell them that I wasn't interested in donating and to take me off their calling list. The person calling would usually get rude and defensive when I would turn them down. I told one of them even if I did donate or organizations like theirs (I don't) I wouldn't give anything to them with the type of people they had cold calling. I was glad when I realized they hadn't called in a long time. If I didn't answer when they called which was almost each time outside of the times I talked to a few people they'd leave messages saying who they were, that they were looking for donations and their contact info. 

My peeve is people trying to get others to donate to causes and act like children when the people they are asking turn them down. 

[Mittengirl]

Several years ago I slipped on a patch of ice in my driveway. I didn’t need an ambulance, just someone to haul my ass up off the pavement.  So the city EMTs showed up - in a fire truck with lights and sirens.  A few weeks later I started getting calls from some “support the firemen” charity.  Coincidence? I think not. 

[peacheslatour]

3 hours ago, Jaded said:

I remember getting multiple calls a year from people who said they were with the "Fraternal Order of Police" and were calling for donations. I'd tell them that I wasn't interested in donating and to take me off their calling list. The person calling would usually get rude and defensive when I would turn them down. I told one of them even if I did donate or organizations like theirs (I don't) I wouldn't give anything to them with the type of people they had cold calling. I was glad when I realized they hadn't called in a long time. If I didn't answer when they called which was almost each time outside of the times I talked to a few people they'd leave messages saying who they were, that they were looking for donations and their contact info. 

My peeve is people trying to get others to donate to causes and act like children when the people they are asking turn them down. 

Yeah, these type of callers are just scammers. The PD anf FD do not work that way.

[oliviabenson]

Someone told me this today (everyone is a female )

all my coworkers hate me they are dumb and lazy etc. 

Honey if everyone hates you it’s you not them. 
 

 

[oliviabenson]

Another female acquaintance said this:

a newish boyfriend started crying. She did not like that because men are supposed to support women emotionally. And she dumped him. Selfish much ?
 

She is so wrong! That poor sensitive man sigh.

Edited November 30, 2022 by oliviabenson

[SuprSuprElevated]

@oliviabenson - One of my favorite, most memorable lines from the TV series Mom, was when the Marjorie character was listening to the Kristie character drone on about how difficult everyone in her life seems to be.  Marjorie responded something like, "in my experience, when everyone around me is an asshole, maybe I'm the asshole."

I have to remind myself of this from time to time.

[peacheslatour]

14 hours ago, oliviabenson said:

Another female said this:

a newish boyfriend started crying. She did not like that because men are supposed to support women emotionally. And she dumped him. Selfish much ?
 

She is so wrong! That poor sensitive man sigh.

"Female". Female what?

[oliviabenson]

4 minutes ago, peacheslatour said:

"Female". Female what?

Female Acquaintance 

[Bastet]

Why am I suddenly seeing "I am bias" all over the place?  No, you are biased.  You have biases.  You may cut something on the bias.  But you are not bias.

Edited November 30, 2022 by Bastet

[TattleTeeny]

The phrase “some type of way.” It sounds some type of stupid. Also, “all up in my feelings.” 

Edited November 30, 2022 by TattleTeeny

[TattleTeeny]

On 11/29/2022 at 12:58 PM, theredhead77 said:

• Comic Sans used for work / professional emails
• Signature line pet peeves:
  • Extraordinarily long or ill formatted signature lines
  • Signature lines with sparkle images / holiday images
  • Signature lines with religious or inspirational quotes

Oooh! I am a bit of a font nerd to the point where I laugh about how peevish and passionate I get. For one thing, when people use certain fonts in all cap when they are NOT meant for it! Come ON! Seriously. 

Also, too many font styles in one “piece,” fonts that do not fit the message at all, fonts that try too hard (and the people who love them)…

[SoMuchTV]

3 hours ago, Bastet said:

Why am I suddenly seeing "I am bias" all over the place?  No, you are biased.  You have biases.  You may cut something on the bias.  But you are not bias.

That’s so cringe! You definitely have beef verse those people!  (Sorry)

[TattleTeeny]

I often see "apart" when someone means "a part." And "diffuse" for "defuse."

[SoMuchTV]

1 hour ago, TattleTeeny said:

I often see "apart" when someone means "a part."

And, in a sentence, they cause it to mean pretty much the opposite. 

[peacheslatour]

5 minutes ago, SoMuchTV said:

And, in a sentence, they cause it to mean pretty much the opposite. 

I had a jr. high English  teacher who  gave a spelling test every Friday. The last word was always A LOT. Which is weird because it's two words but it still sticks in my craw when I see people use"alot".

Edited December 1, 2022 by peacheslatour

[SoMuchTV]

11 minutes ago, peacheslatour said:

I had a jr. high English  teacher who  gave a spelling test every Friday. The last word was always A LOT. Which is weird because it's two words but it still sticks in my craw when I see people use"alot".

I can’t find a good link at the moment but apparently the alot is a popular character:

[RealHousewife]

People who throw others who’ve done nothing to them under the bus if they get into trouble. Not cool.

[peacheslatour]

SoMuchTV, your post reminded me of these.

[EtheltoTillie]

8 hours ago, TattleTeeny said:

I often see "apart" when someone means "a part." And "diffuse" for "defuse."

That diffuse one is definitely one of my pet peeves. Grr. 

6 hours ago, peacheslatour said:

I had a jr. high English  teacher who  gave a spelling test every Friday. The last word was always A LOT. Which is weird because it's two words but it still sticks in my craw when I see people use"alot".

A similar one is all right. That was one of those spelling words for us. 

12 hours ago, Bastet said:

Why am I suddenly seeing "I am bias" all over the place?  No, you are biased.  You have biases.  You may cut something on the bias.  But you are not bias.

Yikes, I have not been seeing this all over. Now I’ll probably see it everywhere. 

[Quof]

I'm still trying to understand how "cringe" became an adjective.  No, it's a verb, and a noun. That's it.  

[TattleTeeny]

What about "woah"? I see it all over -- is there a reason? If there is, OK, whatever. But if not, I am annoyed.

Edited December 1, 2022 by TattleTeeny

[Cloud9Shopper]

People who don’t call you by the right name at all. My team at work is basically me and my boss, and we each have access to a shared email inbox. I’ve been at my job for four months now and STILL people within the company will say “Hi (boss’s name),” when responding to an email I sent from our shared inbox. It’s not the worst thing ever but after four months, I think it’s pretty ignorant to not even look at who wrote the email and just assume I don’t exist and my boss sends everything. I could see it after four weeks but get with the program here. 

[JTMacc99]

4 hours ago, Quof said:

I'm still trying to understand how "cringe" became an adjective.  No, it's a verb, and a noun. That's it.  

Just guessing here, but it feels like this one is an example of how the millennial generation created their own slang. 

I just googled slang to make sure I'm using it right and got this definition: a type of language that consists of words and phrases that are regarded as very informal, are more common in speech than writing, and are typically restricted to a particular context or group of people.

So now I feel even better about my guess. That's exactly how cringe got to be an adjective.

[RealHousewife]

2 hours ago, Cloud9Shopper said:

People who don’t call you by the right name at all. My team at work is basically me and my boss, and we each have access to a shared email inbox. I’ve been at my job for four months now and STILL people within the company will say “Hi (boss’s name),” when responding to an email I sent from our shared inbox. It’s not the worst thing ever but after four months, I think it’s pretty ignorant to not even look at who wrote the email and just assume I don’t exist and my boss sends everything. I could see it after four weeks but get with the program here. 

By any chance are you a woman with a male boss? People (women included) still often take men more seriously. They're often assumed to be busier and more important even when they're absolutely not. 

[Cloud9Shopper]

1 hour ago, RealHousewife said:

By any chance are you a woman with a male boss? People (women included) still often take men more seriously. They're often assumed to be busier and more important even when they're absolutely not. 

Nope. My boss is a woman too. Makes it all the more interesting LOL. I guess some people are either just in a rush to answer an email or don’t really care that I exist. 😂

[Bethany]

I've been going around for a few years now peeving at the way people in Hallmark Christmas movies are are always drinking "hot" cocoa.  I mean, seriously, who drinks cold cocoa?  But then last night I bought some instant cocoa mix at the supermarket and what to my wondering eyes should appear but the words "hot cocoa" right on the package.  Damn.  So I've been peeving (to myself) about something that isn't a Hallmark silliness - it's actually what the product calls itself.  I guess I'll have to find something else about Hallmark Christmas movies to criticize.  Gee, that's going to be tough 😃

[PRgal]

9 minutes ago, Elizabeth Anne said:

I've been going around for a few years now peeving at the way people in Hallmark Christmas movies are are always drinking "hot" cocoa.  I mean, seriously, who drinks cold cocoa?  But then last night I bought some instant cocoa mix at the supermarket and what to my wondering eyes should appear but the words "hot cocoa" right on the package.  Damn.  So I've been peeving (to myself) about something that isn't a Hallmark silliness - it's actually what the product calls itself.  I guess I'll have to find something else about Hallmark Christmas movies to criticize.  Gee, that's going to be tough 😃

There's an ice cream (sorry, gelato) company here that sells a flavour called "frozen hot chocolate."  WTF does that mean, anyway?  If it's frozen, it ain't hot.  

Note:  They have, like four different chocolate flavours (some dairy, some dairy-free).

[RealHousewife]

25 minutes ago, Elizabeth Anne said:

I've been going around for a few years now peeving at the way people in Hallmark Christmas movies are are always drinking "hot" cocoa.  I mean, seriously, who drinks cold cocoa?  But then last night I bought some instant cocoa mix at the supermarket and what to my wondering eyes should appear but the words "hot cocoa" right on the package.  Damn.  So I've been peeving (to myself) about something that isn't a Hallmark silliness - it's actually what the product calls itself.  I guess I'll have to find something else about Hallmark Christmas movies to criticize.  Gee, that's going to be tough 😃

lol!

That reminds me. My father loves to say he's making "hot tea" or having "hot tea." It's always hot tea. My dad has NEVER drank ice tea in his life. Never orders it, has anything to do with anything not hot. Neither does my mom, so it cracks me up when he gets all specific when he's drank nothing but hot tea for his 65 years of life. 

[GHScorpiosRule]

I'll go one step further: Starbucks and their "chai teas" description.

It's STUPID. Why? Because chai means "tea" in Hindi! So what they're selling is tea tea.

See? Stupid. Just call it Chai. One that drives me nuts is chai latte. I very much doubt they make the chai as we do-with the masalas and fresh ginger. Sometimes, fresh cloves.

[RealHousewife]

13 minutes ago, GHScorpiosRule said:

I'll go one step further: Starbucks and their "chai teas" description.

It's STUPID. Why? Because chai means "tea" in Hindi! So what they're selling is tea tea.

See? Stupid. Just call it Chai. One that drives me nuts is chai latte. I very much doubt they make the chai as we do-with the masalas and fresh ginger. Sometimes, fresh cloves.

So true!

Here's another one. I'm not voicing anything political on it one way or the other, so I hope it's okay to say. But people constantly say Sharia law. Sharia itself is Islamic law, so it's like you're saying law, law.

[PRgal]

20 minutes ago, GHScorpiosRule said:

I'll go one step further: Starbucks and their "chai teas" description.

It's STUPID. Why? Because chai means "tea" in Hindi! So what they're selling is tea tea.

See? Stupid. Just call it Chai. One that drives me nuts is chai latte. I very much doubt they make the chai as we do-with the masalas and fresh ginger. Sometimes, fresh cloves.

I suppose it's like bao buns.  Bao is bun (and bread, too, by the way...my Cantonese is horrid, but bao can also mean wrap.  Anything that can have a filling or be made into a sandwich is some kind of bao...).  But I don't really have issues when people say that (nor do I know anyone who openly complains).  I suppose it's to differentiate between, say, a burger bun.  Usually, we just say whatever is in the bun (e.g. char siu bao, bolo bao (which, by the way, doesn't actually have pineapple in it, but is shaped like one).  

Peeve:  This site.  I've seen a "temporarily unavailable" screen a few times today (and yesterday, too).  Server issues?

[isalicat]

4 hours ago, Cloud9Shopper said:

Nope. My boss is a woman too. Makes it all the more interesting LOL. I guess some people are either just in a rush to answer an email or don’t really care that I exist. 😂

I was reminded again of the great quote (which I am probably misquoting):

Never attribute to malice that which is probably explained by incompetence.

[Browncoat]

2 hours ago, Elizabeth Anne said:

I mean, seriously, who drinks cold cocoa? 

Cold cocoa is chocolate milk.  😁

[Mindthinkr]

1 hour ago, PRgal said:

Peeve:  This site.  I've seen a "temporarily unavailable" screen a few times today (and yesterday, too).  Server issues?

I’ve had the same issue. 

[SuprSuprElevated]

On 11/30/2022 at 3:54 PM, Bastet said:

Why am I suddenly seeing "I am bias" all over the place?  No, you are biased.  You have biases.  You may cut something on the bias.  But you are not bias.

Thank you x 1000!  And yes, it is sort of a recent phenomenon.  I blame Nick Cannon, host of The Mass SingGer.

Edited December 1, 2022 by SuprSuprElevated

[GHScorpiosRule]

3 hours ago, PRgal said:

Peeve:  This site.  I've seen a "temporarily unavailable" screen a few times today (and yesterday, too).  Server issues?

2 hours ago, Mindthinkr said:

I’ve had the same issue. 

It's already been reported in the Bugs, Questions and Suggestion Thread on this site. It has to do with upcoming update. It' not a bug, per se.

[TattleTeeny]

7 hours ago, Cloud9Shopper said:

Nope. My boss is a woman too. Makes it all the more interesting LOL. I guess some people are either just in a rush to answer an email or don’t really care that I exist. 😂

It’s like people who still use “Dear sir” — as if only men are in charge of something where correspondence might come! I’m sure they mean only to be polite, but come on now. 

Sometimes my friends and I do a weird thing with words — like call each other “a gross” or one of our cats “a bad.” It happened by accident one (drunken?) night; I think one of us called another “a mean” and we all thought it was so funny that now we just do it.

Edited December 2, 2022 by TattleTeeny

[oliviabenson]

Men who lie on dating sites. And send unsolicited pictures of their penis. And just act like uncivilized idiots. 

[RealHousewife]

My new pet peeve is y’all have me craving hot cocoa, and since it’s late I can’t make it due to the caffeine. 

[KittyMom4]

16 hours ago, TattleTeeny said:

It’s like people who still use “Dear sir” — as if only men are in charge of something where correspondence might come! I’m sure they mean only to be polite, but come on now. 

My boss who is the CEO of our company is a female, and you would be shocked at how many business correspondences still use "Dear Sir" instead of "Dear Sir or Madam". Even customers who write "Mr. So-and-So, CEO" even though my boss' name is a female name. It's 2022, not 1920!!!

15 hours ago, oliviabenson said:

Men who lie on dating sites. And send unsolicited pictures of their penis. And just act like uncivilized idiots. 

Yep, yep, yep. I was on them 7 or so years ago, disgusting. I have a friend who is trying them out. She told me that with in 48 hours she'd been more sexually harassed and seen more unwanted penis than she ever did when we were in the USMC.