Pet Peeves: Aka Things That Make You Go "Gah!"

[MargeGunderson]

The colleague from my rant yesterday? Just dialed it up to high. I am so incensed that she should probably burst in to flames where ever she is.

[BooksRule]

The colleague from my rant yesterday? Just dialed it up to high. I am so incensed that she should probably burst in to flames where ever she is.

 

I went back to see what your post was from yesterday.  I also hate it when co-workers get out of work because they seem to have so much 'other' work to do.  I've been on committees where one person gets permission to leave the committee because they are 'too busy' to do the committee work.  Maybe they are swamped with other work but it gives the rest of us the feeling that we have plenty of time to do the extra work.  I cut them some slack if they are suddenly short-staffed in their department and have to take on extra work, but most of the time, they are just doing their regular job and suddenly can't handle committee work.  

 

A pet peeve from this afternoon:  I am seriously working to lose weight.  Why do a couple of my co-workers (who have all been told that I am trying to eat healthy) try to push unhealthy foods on me?  It's one person in particular who does this.  She is a thin (not skinny, but healthy weight) person who should know better, because her husband suffers from some bad health issues and she is always fighting with him (or so she says) to eat healthier and to take better care of himself.  We had a reception this afternoon with cake, punch and coffee and she came up to me twice wanting me to have some cake, even after I politely told her that I couldn't have any today Thank You Anyway.  I got the usual 'One little piece won't hurt you' and 'You can diet tomorrow'.  I guess she just doesn't understand what it's like to have to watch every bite of food you put in your mouth.  I know I'm grumpy because I was hungry and really wanted cake, but still it irks me.  I found her to be very irksome today.  

Edited November 11, 2015 by BooksRule

[ALenore]

That? That is weird. Were they buying two carts full of Halloween stuff just so they could get bags?

 

I think they were putting the items in individual bags to keep them from getting broken, a lot of them were ceramic or glass, or fragile-looking plastic.   I'm pretty sure they were planning on holding onto the stuff and selling it next Halloween. Since the merchandise was 75% off, they could sell it for twice what they paid for it.   A woman I used to work with would buy closeout stuff from places going out of business, and then she and her husband would sell it at the local flea market.  

[Maharincess]

BooksRule, (I love your name and agree that books rule!), I have the opposite problem. I've been trying for a few years to gain weight. If I gained 25 to 30 pounds I would be thrilled. I never have an appetite, ever, I'll look at the clock, see that it's like 7 pm and realize I haven't eaten all day. I just don't get hungry.

I hate when people say that I'm "lucky" and they wish they had my problem. Yeah, its really great to have strangers yell at you to eat a sandwich, be accused of being on drugs or having an eating disorder. Yep, I'm lucky.

People always say that all I have to do is "eat more and move less" and I'll put on weight. I counter with, if its that easy then why can't people who are overweight just eat less and move more and lose weight.

It's not that simple either way. I've been on both sides and for me its harder to gain than it was to lose.

All of this to say that why can't people just mind their own beeswax?! If you don't want the damn cake why can't people just accept that and move on?

[auntlada]

I don't want to be in your position, Maharincess, but I do wish I could lose easier. Of course, I also wish I wanted to move more or had time to move more in ways I might enjoy. (I hate walking as exercise, but it's the only thing I can do during the workday.) And I wish I didn't want to eat so much and so much that's not good for me.

 

Perhaps you could say that you tasted the cake and it tasted like crap, Booksrule.

[BookWoman56]

In my first office job, I was first on phones for our department since I was low woman on the totem pole.  One coworker got calls multiple times per day from her kids and, to a lesser extent, her husband (needless to say, 99% of them were about things that could have waited until she got home).  It blew my mind then, and it still does looking back on it; I never bother anyone at work over the phone unless it's important or time-sensitive, because it's disruptive. 

 

...  It's not magically appropriate to receive personal phone calls throughout the day, every day, on the office phone just because the callers are the fruit of your loins.

I agree, but I've also seen way too many examples of people without kids getting crazy amounts of personal phone calls. Years ago, I ended up firing a temporary worker over the huge volume of calls she got from her BFFs, BF, etc. Most of us had direct lines but calls to her had to go through our department admin assistant, who came to me about how many calls she was having to transfer to this worker. I was supervising a project in another building at that time, and so had not seen this firsthand, but I had noticed that she wasn't getting as much actual work done as she should have. So, chatted with her about the personal calls. They persisted; chatted again with increased emphasis on the need to limit personal calls to breaks and lunch periods. Calls persisted; removed the phone from her cube. She switched over to using her mobile phone (this was back in the days before unlimited minutes were common) and I actually heard her on her mobile bitching that our company was interfering with her right to talk to whomever she wanted and forcing her to pay to talk to her friends. This was the point at which I was grateful she was a temporary worker and so could be fired on the spot. I wouldn't have fired her just for bitching and moaning to someone, but the combo of way the hell too many phone calls, inadequate productivity, and entitled attitude was too much to deal with.

 

Another example: I've worked a good bit in instructional design, creating training for new employees at large companies. The employees are typically in training for about 6 weeks before being turned loose to their real jobs. And the instructors began coming to me and other instructional designers on a consistent basis because the new employees in training seemed not to understand the concept of "class time is for work-related training, not for talking and texting on your cell phone nonstop." So we had to build a notice into our curriculum that the employees would see on their first day, that said (albeit a bit more politely): Except for breaks and lunch, do not use your cell phone during class time unless it's an emergency (and by emergency, we mean something so serious that the person trying to contact  you would feel compelled to come drag you out of class if unable to reach you otherwise). If you are unwilling to comply with this requirement, you will not be allowed to finish training.

 

Final example, and my personal favorite: A few years ago my former stupid-ass manager hired a guy for an hourly position; the guy had graduated from law school a couple of years prior to that, passed the bar, but was unable to find a job as an attorney (he was definitely not someone at the top of his class). But he did have a few private clients on the side. While he was getting paid by the hour to work for us, he took calls from these clients and would go wander off into an empty conference room for a solid hour or so to discuss their legal issues with them. And obviously, he was billing them for that time. He apparently believed that because he knew the manager from church, that he should be given special privileges. A colleague began tracking the guy's calls, time away from the desk, and the time recorded via electronic timesheet and confronted the manager with it, essentially telling him this either had to stop or the colleague would go over the manager's head to report the issue. Of course, the employee who was doing this threw a hissy fit that someone had reported the situation to the manager.

 

I guess my point here is that in the workplace, some people are going to be jerks about taking phone calls, not doing their fair share of the work, believing that their special situation entitles them to perks while your special situation does not, etc. I don't think the issue is parents or non-parents as a group engaging in this kind of behavior. The offending group seems to be instead people who are inconsiderate, selfish asshats.

[Bastet]

Of course.  But my point, which I probably didn't make clear because I didn't go into detail about the VP talking to her, was she felt this level of phone activity that would otherwise be unacceptable was instead okay because it was her kids calling.  As I said above, I don't like "I'm more deserving of X because of Y" entitlement in general when it comes to workplace allowances.  Since we were on the subject of those for whom the "because of Y" is "because I have kids," that's the story that sprang to mind.

[bilgistic]

This all reminded me that when I was way too young to be watching my sisters after school and at night while my mom worked, my sisters were really bad about calling her at work, like for fighting over the remote control. She had her own line as she worked as a legal secretary for years. She eventually had enough and took the receiver with her to work one day. I guess she figured if anything really bad happened, we could run to a neighbor's house.

Things are different now!

[Bastet]

my sisters were really bad about calling her at work, like for fighting over the remote control.

 

From Cagney & Lacey to 9 to 5 ... Now I hear Violet fielding several lines worth of business calls and then, "Violet News -- Oh, come on, kids!  ... No.  There is more than one peanut butter and banana sandwich in the world ... Okay, love you too.  ... No, I don't want to talk to the dog.  Bye-bye."

[Maharincess]

I don't want to be in your position, Maharincess, but I do wish I could lose easier. Of course, I also wish I wanted to move more or had time to move more in ways I might enjoy. (I hate walking as exercise, but it's the only thing I can do during the workday.) And I wish I didn't want to eat so much and so much that's not good for me.

Perhaps you could say that you tasted the cake and it tasted like crap, Booksrule.

I know how hard it is on both sides, but every single person rolls their eyes when I say I'm trying to gain weight. Every one of them.

When I tried to lose weight back when I walked everywhere, I walked to get the kids from school, to the grocery store, everywhere, but I liked to walk. Ironic huh? Lol.

Good luck on your quest to you and BooksRule.

[Quof]

I was a latch key kid at 7, and was never allowed to call my mother at work. A friend with 2 brothers was only allowed to call his mother if there was blood and he had called an ambulance first. My former boss had a house full of bratty kids who called constantly. She would leave her cellphone on her desk and go out, then return and say "oh look, Billy called 8 times". I said "no, he called 16 times cuz every call to the cellphone alternated with a call to the landline"

[BookWoman56]

Bastet, thanks for the clarification. I cannot even begin to understand that mindset, that it's somehow not okay to spend a lot of time on personal calls in general, but perfectly okay if those calls are from your kids. I will go one step further, though: if you can't manage your household issues well enough so that your kids don't need to call you multiple times a day (or you can't make your kids understand to call only in an emergency and otherwise just text questions that you can respond to during your breaks), then you probably are not that great at managing your job either, with or without the distractions of excessive phone calls.

 

I do understand that there are actual child-related emergencies. My daughter is bipolar and over the past 10 years there have been maybe 3 occasions when I had to leave work abruptly after a frantic call in which she was experiencing enough extreme depressive symptoms to be afraid she was going to harm herself. But I had always made it clear to my manager what the situation was and that if I had to leave for that kind of emergency, I would either make up the time or use PTO for it, and make sure no deadlines were missed, etc. So, in that sense, I was given some flexibility but I don't see that as being significantly different from the flexibility to leave work if I myself suddenly became ill. As we both have noted, it's just part of life that sometimes things happen so that you have to take off a little time from work unexpectedly. To me the larger issue is whether the person abuses that flexibility. So I regard getting too many calls from your kids the same way I do taking a smoking break for 5-10 minutes of every hour that you are supposedly working.

[bilgistic]

I have always struggled with my weight. I'm a vegetarian and have been half my life, and don't eat fast food, but I also don't cook (HATE to cook), so I tend to eat a lot of convenience food--frozen pizza, pasta, cereal, carbs galore. If I LOOK at food, I gain weight.

I can't stand exercise and haven't been able to walk well anyway since I sprained my foot at the end of July. (No, it still isn't healed.) I am really hating how overweight I've gotten. I take a boatload of meds, too (lifelong depression and anxiety). It's usually a toss-up between being functional and fat or thinner and bat-shit crazy. Clearly, I have to function.

Speaking of crazy, I play this game with myself sometimes: What would I give up to be or [shape]? I've given up theoretical toes, foods, activities (not like I'm engaging in them now anyway).

To take it back to peeves, I'm annoyed with myself that I don't care enough about myself to do any better for myself. I'm not asking for feedback or answers; I'm just venting.

[Bastet]

My newest pet peeve: The writing on my smoke detector that cannot be seen (at least by my eyes, but with glasses on) unless I stand on a stepstool. 

 

Even though, given the layout of my house, it's overkill, I recently replaced the hallway smoke detector with individual smoke detectors in the bedroom and office (and then a combo smoke/carbon monoxide detector in the hallway) to bring things up to code.  I want to see if the my usual placement of candles in each room will set off the detectors when they're lit or at the moment they're extinguished, so tonight I'm experimenting.  I look up to see which one of the two buttons (one button for testing, one button for silencing) to push should they go off and I cannot read the labels from a standing position (and I'm 5'9"), because it's merely raised lettering in the same color as the button. 

 

I've stood on the stepstool and thus now have that information, but shouldn't it be something one can see quickly, without needing to go find something to stand on?

Edited November 11, 2015 by Bastet

[auntlada]

Yes, it should.

 

They should also make vitamins that aren't the size of horse pills. Actually, they do, but not the ones I want, which claim to boost your metabolism. They probably don't -- or if they do, it's because they have caffeine in them -- but as I seem to be flirting with menopause, I figured what the heck.

 

One more thing for the day: I know that breastfeeding your kids is good for them. And yay for you if you wanted to do that and were able to. But please, for the love of God, stop sharing things on Facebook about how wonderful it is and how much healthier and smarter it will make your kids and why all mothers should do it, etc. It irritates the crap out of me every time I see it because all the posts and articles (at least the ones I see) imply that if you don't breastfeed your kids, it's because you chose not to do so, probably because you just didn't want to bother (and therefore don't love your children as much). It makes me want to track down the authors and smack them upside the head.

 

Some of us didn't breastfeed not for convenience or because we didn't want to but because we couldn't. I did not have enough breast milk to breastfeed. My child was not getting enough to eat for the three days I tried. And, Lord, how I tried. As it turns out, my mother, her sister and their mother had the same problem, which was probably a much bigger issue back in the 1930s when my mom was born. My grandmother had to make her own formula to feed her kids. At least I got to buy it.

 

Besides, if you don't want to breastfeed your baby, that's your business. Why you don't is your business. It's not hurting anyone else. It's not going to affect anyone else's kids. And my child is 4 now and pretty darn smart, if I do say so myself. He won't start pre-K until next year (late birthday), but tonight he read me a book. And he can name more dinosaurs than I knew existed. (Dinosaur was one of the first words he learned to spell, right after cat and dog.)

[bilgistic]

Sanctimommies (the breastfeeding patrol), people who are into fitness/weight loss who somehow made that a "job" (a new brag daily =/= job) because of social media, celebrities with no talent, and people with hurt feelings over a paper cup ruin the internet for the rest of us.

Bastet, you reminded me that my smoke/carbon monoxide detector batteries were running low last week. It didn't just chirp every few minutes like the one in my apartment building hall has been doing for the past six weeks. It sternly reprimanded me, "LOW BATTERY!" and scared the shit out of me (and the cat) the first time I heard it.

And again a day later. Aaand a day later. I finally changed the batteries after waiting for them to charge, hoping I wouldn't get yelled at in the meantime.

Edited November 11, 2015 by bilgistic

[auntlada]

It's not even the sanctimommies -- or just them. Many of these people are people who are friends in real life. They just really believe in breastfeeding, which I don't have a problem with, and promote it a lot. One of them I wish would remember that someone who considers her one of the someone's best friends was not able to breastfeed. And at the time, it was very upsetting. As my doctor said, it's very upsetting to discover that part of your body can't do what it was designed to do. (Not that that's all breasts are good for, but it is a good chunk of why we have them.) And when you're awash in hormones already, it can be devastating.

 

I might still be a little bitter. I'm also bitter about the deal with everything that goes wrong with a baby is somehow the mother's fault because of her behavior and decisions.

[ZaldamoWilder]

Yes, it should.

 

They should also make vitamins that aren't the size of horse pills. Actually, they do, but not the ones I want, which claim to boost your metabolism. They probably don't -- or if they do, it's because they have caffeine in them -- but as I seem to be flirting with menopause, I figured what the heck.

 

One more thing for the day: I know that breastfeeding your kids is good for them. And yay for you if you wanted to do that and were able to. But please, for the love of God, stop sharing things on Facebook about how wonderful it is and how much healthier and smarter it will make your kids and why all mothers should do it, etc. It irritates the crap out of me every time I see it because all the posts and articles (at least the ones I see) imply that if you don't breastfeed your kids, it's because you chose not to do so, probably because you just didn't want to bother (and therefore don't love your children as much). It makes me want to track down the authors and smack them upside the head.

 

Some of us didn't breastfeed not for convenience or because we didn't want to but because we couldn't. I did not have enough breast milk to breastfeed. My child was not getting enough to eat for the three days I tried. And, Lord, how I tried. As it turns out, my mother, her sister and their mother had the same problem, which was probably a much bigger issue back in the 1930s when my mom was born. My grandmother had to make her own formula to feed her kids. At least I got to buy it.

 

Besides, if you don't want to breastfeed your baby, that's your business. Why you don't is your business. It's not hurting anyone else. It's not going to affect anyone else's kids. And my child is 4 now and pretty darn smart, if I do say so myself. He won't start pre-K until next year (late birthday), but tonight he read me a book. And he can name more dinosaurs than I knew existed. (Dinosaur was one of the first words he learned to spell, right after cat and dog.

 

Standing O 

 

 

"sanctimommies" lol. Hilarious, that kind of says it all.    And if you didn't want to bother, that shouldn't be anyone else's business either.  The weird thing is how long they carry it around with them.  Like are you still being subjected to this nonsense and your baby is FIVE?  come the hell on.   I wonder if this is an international concept.  I mean I don't have anything to compare it to as I've never lived anywhere else as an adult, but do you think women in other countries have this level of....of what? judgment? criticism? for each other about things like this?   How I fed my baby is just such an odd thing to get worked up about.   I mean she walks and talks and runs my cell phone bill up into a galaxy far far away, so you know that she didn't starve.  Weird.

[JTMacc99]

I guess my point here is that in the workplace, some people are going to be jerks about taking phone calls, not doing their fair share of the work, believing that their special situation entitles them to perks while your special situation does not, etc. I don't think the issue is parents or non-parents as a group engaging in this kind of behavior. The offending group seems to be instead people who are inconsiderate, selfish asshats.

A agree completely. And obviously it's not just the workplace. I see inconsiderate selfish asshats in my favorite place to spot them (the "about 10 items" line at the supermarket) all the time.  I just barely avoided getting behind one with 25 (that's about 10, right?) yesterday.

 

The hard part as a manager is figuring out where the line is between reasonable and not reasonable for people taking care of personal business during the day. I usually start with, does this person get all of the work done?  If yes, then I tolerate more. I've been through periods in my life where taking phone calls from home were VERY important for that person at home.  I'm sure that my inability to concentrate 100% on my work hurt my career, but I am also grateful to my employers for allowing me some slack.  

[DeLurker]

One more thing for the day: I know that breastfeeding your kids is good for them. And yay for you if you wanted to do that and were able to. But please, for the love of God, stop sharing things on Facebook about how wonderful it is and how much healthier and smarter

My son was born with some complications - terrifying for a first time mom .  When I asked my OB about what my concerns should be and the long term consequences, his response was "When he drops out of college to pursue a life of communing with tree roots you can blame it on the complications.  Until then - don't worry about it.  Worry about taking good care of him and helping him develop".  I loved my OB - he was so practical and straight forward.

 

And I've seen enough studies to believe breastfeeding is good for your baby healthwise (not sure on the smarter claim) but teaching your child to be rigid and sanctimonious is probably worse.  And not all women can breastfeed or choose to - get over it.

[ABay]

Parking is very tight where I work and the lot near my building is full by 9. This is not news to anyone who works here so it is especially rude and inconsiderate to park  so that only a mini cooper could squeeze in to the space next to yours. I just ratted on someone who did that, even though the license plate implies that the person has the same name as my grandmother. I hope the car is towed. Jackass.

[Bastet]

I've had a few benign lumps removed from my breasts, and the first one was in a position where removing it meant damaging some of my milk ducts.  My surgeon was all atwitter that I might not be able to breastfeed.  (I told him it was a non-issue, since I would not be having kids anyway, which pretty much sent him over the edge.  Asshole; for the next one, I got a different surgeon.)  If I was going to have a child and could breastfeed, I would.  I think it's better than formula.  But formula is still good for babies, so I just do not understand all the furor.  If someone is filling their baby's bottles with Diet Coke, go right ahead and judge.  But formula?

[ratgirlagogo]

 

but do you think women in other countries have this level of....of what? judgment? criticism? for each other about things like this?   

I can't say for sure, but based on my own experience (plus a lifetime of reading women's writing, literary and otherwise from all over the world) I'm afraid they do.  Big time.

Edited November 11, 2015 by ratgirlagogo

[Maharincess]

I didn't produce any milk when I had my daughter and she was allergic to all commercial formulas so we had to use a prescription formula which costs 20 plus dollars for one can.

I hate when women look down on and shame those who either can't or choose not to nurse.

Edited November 12, 2015 by Maharincess

[Quof]

Today's Pet Peeve - people.  I went to a great concert a few nights ago, had a really fabulous time.  Prominent signs on the doors said "No photo, video or audio recordings of any kind."  The ticket takers reminded you of this. There were at least two such announcements before the curtain, and another after the opening act.  While a few morons snuck some photos, it was a treat not to have to dodge iPhones and iPads being held up in the air in order to see the stage.  (Yeah, I'm talking to you jerk in front of me at the July/14 Bruno Mars concert who watched the whole thing through the screen of your iPad while the rest of us were dancing in the aisles and watching the artist. You also brought an infant, with no ear protection.  Idiot. But I digress).  Today, I searched out the review in the local paper. The reviewer agreed the show was awesome.   Direct quote from the comments "If I had known recording wasn't allowed, I never would have gone." SMH.

[Bastet]

I have a friend who records (audio) every show she attends.  When I go with her, it drives me nuts.  We recently saw Dar Williams, who invited the audience to accompany her on As Cool As I Am.  I am normally not a fan of audience participation, but that has always been my exception -- an intimate venue full of people, mostly women, sharing that song is always a joyous, uplifting experience.  But when I know the moment is being recorded right next to me and will be traded over the internet, I'm very conscious of that and thus pulled out of the experience I should be having.

Edited November 12, 2015 by Bastet

[DeLurker]

I buy Pringles on occasion because I need the salty goodness of an almost entirely lab created product.  The most recent can I bought did not have the level of salt they normally have.  I checked, and I did not accidentally buy a low sodium version.  It was very disappointing.  I hope it was just a fluke.

[Qoass]

I agree.  I'd much rather be in the moment.  When you record something, all you remember is what is on that little screen.

 

And I've mentioned this before but I paid to hear the artist sing, not you.  Go ahead and have a good time but please, not at the top of your lungs.

[backformore]

I didn't produce any milk when I had my daughter and she was allergic to all commercial formulas so we had to use a prescription formula which costs 20 plus dollars for one can.

I hate when women look down on and shame those who either can't or choose not to nurse.

And I've had the opposite.  I breastfed my kids, one until he was almost 1, the other until 2.  But only once, maybe twice a day.  It's not a big deal to nurse a toddler to sleep at night.   It wasn't in public, and most people didn't know unless it came up in conversation.   Nearly every time, I got flack for it.   Why would anyone care?  I had an energetic, active son who had trouble calming down.  (yeah, later determined to be ADHD)  There was only one thing that helped him settle down at night, and I wasn't about to stop.   I never understood why anyone cared.  As mothers, we do what works for our kids.  

I also got criticized for letting my kid watch TV at age 2.   Yeah, American pediatric association says 2 is too young.  OK, but if YOUR kid sleeps 12 hours a night and takes a 3 hour nap, and mine sleeps 8 hours -  Mine's going to settle down and watch a movie on TV in the afternoon. 

[ZaldamoWilder]

I agree.  I'd much rather be in the moment.  When you record something, all you remember is what is on that little screen.

 

And I've mentioned this before but I paid to hear the artist sing, not you.  Go ahead and have a good time but please, not at the top of your lungs.

 

This.  We went to an outdoor Jill Scott concert over the summer.  San Diego Bay, perfect weather, perfect drinks and the lady seated directly in front of us was giving it her a-l-l.  We very nearly got into a fight because a couple in our row told her we came to see her sing, not you!  Ms. Crooner indignantly proclaimed what she paid her money to do, turned it up and continued killing it (not in a good way) for everybody in section 106.  Heffa.

[Mountainair]

I didn't breastfeed my two boys. Didn't even attempt to. I was planning on going back to work after both of them and didn't work in an environment conducive to pumping so I didn't even bother with the breast. Formula from day one. This baby I will try to breastfeed since I do stay at home now. 

 

We do live in an age where life is viewed through the screen of something. I'm guilty of it. I take pictures of everything for posterity's sake and need to remember that it's ok to put the camera down sometimes.

[Bastet]

As I've said before, looking at life through a viewfinder is not my idea of a good time.  I don't understand people who are too busy documenting their every activity to actually experience them.  The same friend who records every concert comes home from every trip with approximately one gazillion photos.  Listening to her recount her travels is noticeably different than listening to someone who didn't spend as much time with a camera between them and what they were seeing.  It's all laid out there on the screen, but it's not in her memory the way it otherwise would have been; there's no depth.  No skin off my nose, but I don't get it. 

 

But what is a peeve?  Expecting me to look at all gazillion photographs.  Just the highlight reel, please.

Edited November 12, 2015 by Bastet

[DeLurker]

You can livefeed your breastfeeding to prove to the world you are doing it!

 

Good for you for being rationale about your options with your two boys!

[potatoradio]

 

Today's Pet Peeve - people.

 

That really sums it up - and made me laugh before I even read the details.  "Hell is other people" as the saying goes. 

 

Dear fellow parking lot patron:

It's true, I'm taking forever and ten years to get my act together. My doors are open, I'm pulling out various bags while hanging on to my keys so I can lock my car, I keep dropping things because of this...I'm a mess. I'm sorry. However, why do you not notice the, oh, I don't know, AT LEAST FIFTY other parking spots next to the one you're waiting for? There is no parking attendant in an orange vest waving you in to the spot right next to me. You're free to park in ANY of the spaces. Why in f*ck all are you sitting there, turn signal on, waving your hands at me and getting yourself all worked up because you can't park in the space next to me right this second?? If you'd move your arse down a few inches, you could park and be on your way. But apparently it's more important to you to sit in your car and try to vaporize me with your anger because you just have to park right next to me. People, indeed.

 

We had a few posts about umbrellas a while back, but here we go...I was walking to a forced lunch with a colleague and it started to rain. Colleague immediately opens umbrella. Whatever, I keep walking. Colleague says, "Oh, why don't you share the umbrella?" I say, "No thank you, I'll be fine." Colleague is apparently baffled by this. "But..you don't have a raincoat." No, no I do not. I'm still fine. Colleague cannot stand this and suddenly he's right beside me, holding that *($#&&*(#*& umbrella over both of our heads. So now, I have to walk waaaaaaay closer to him than I want to, he keeps adjusting the height of the umbrella, I keep bumping into the rim, we have to pace ourselves really weirdly to make sure I don't get my hair wet or whatever and....GAH!!! Longest walk to a lunch EVER. If someone says, "no, thank you," just accept that, OK? 

 

 

[Bastet]

Ugh, yes.  Sharing an umbrella takes Astaire and Rogers level of synchronization, and requires walking a lot closer together than interests me.  No, thanks.

[janestclair]

This.  We went to an outdoor Jill Scott concert over the summer.  San Diego Bay, perfect weather, perfect drinks and the lady seated directly in front of us was giving it her a-l-l.  We very nearly got into a fight because a couple in our row told her we came to see her sing, not you!  Ms. Crooner indignantly proclaimed what she paid her money to do, turned it up and continued killing it (not in a good way) for everybody in section 106.  Heffa.

 

Oh God.  This would make me rage.  Concerts are my thing. I go to many, many concerts. I paid good money to hear the artist, not to hear you sing off key or yell out, "Play <Popular song that will undoubtedly be in the setlist>!" every five minutes.  I sing along, but at a reasonable volume - by which I mean I basically lip sync because I can't carry a tune in a bucket. The filmers don't bother me AS much, only because they're only wrecking their own experience and not mine. And I do like to see a decent quality show up on Youtube if something cool happened. Now, if they're filming on an iPad or something, and it's blocking my view, we're going to have words.  I once yelled at a woman in the front row (I was directly behind her) who had an umbrella out and open during  a show.  (It was not raining) I suggested a more appropriate orifice where she could place said umbrella, and the audience was with me.  It was awesome.  She was removed, eventually. 

[Maharincess]

My peeve of the day is that my husband finally has a good lenght of time that he'll be home and his second day home he gets sick and has been in bed ever since.

[BookWoman56]

And I've mentioned this before but I paid to hear the artist sing, not you.  Go ahead and have a good time but please, not at the top of your lungs.

I don't go to a lot of concerts, but this seems to be an ongoing issue. My favorite band is from Finland, and while they tour the U.S. when they release a new album, they're not here constantly and so when they are, I want to go see them. One reason they are my favorite band is they actually perform well live; in fact, I tend to prefer their live versions of songs to the studio versions.  So the first time I saw them was a couple of years ago, and imagine my surprise when the voice that I usually love to hear sounded instead like Minnie Mouse. Things improved a bit as I moved a little back from the stage, and that's when I realized how many people were singing along entirely too loudly, to the point of drowning out the actual singer. So, important lesson: When one stands very close to the stage, what one tends to hear is not so much the lead singer as the off-key caterwauling of audience members, many of whom desperately need to be told not to quit their day job.

 

My pet peeve for music in general is that I am extremely tired of the "performers" as opposed to actual musicians and/or singers who can carry a tune. Maybe it's just me, but when I see a singer or group with a dozen dancers, intense choreography, and a freaking bedazzled microphone, my first thought is that those elements are there to distract the audience from noticing that the lyrics are egregiously insipid, the so-called melody is the musical equivalent of a paint-by-numbers piece, and the lead singer has a vocal range of three notes, two of which are flat. What I want from a solo artist or a group is the ability to come on the stage without the theatrics and play/sing compelling songs in a way that does the songs justice.

[KnoxForPres]

I think the concert thing depends a lot on alcohol intake. I saw The Black Keys and sang along like nobody's business. I was feeling good on Makers Mark and couldn't believe I was seeing them.

Oddly- no one around me knew their old stuff, only new. But my boyfriend at the time insisted on filming it and you can hear me at one song "for fucks sake put the phone down and enjoy this with me".

We had a great time and I highly recommend the Omni in Atlanta/Phillips Arena to see a show. Hotel room, walk through CNN center to show and return to hotel room! No driving.

But it's a huge pet peeve of mine when the pictures or videos take over.

Edited November 13, 2015 by KnoxForPres

[Maharincess]

BookWoman, my husband and I were just talking about this. What the hell happened to just coming out and singing your songs? I hate everything you mentioned about "performers". If they had any real talent they wouldn't need all that extra crap.

One of my favorite concerts was Pat Benatar. She didn't have any background dancers or anything of the sort. She came out, sang her songs and put on a great show.

Of course the difference is she actually has real talent.

[KnoxForPres]

That? That is weird. Were they buying two carts full of Halloween stuff just so they could get bags? (sorry you got stuck behind their mess)

"American = Caucasian" makes me grind my teeth.

Add me to the list of people who are peeved by the sentiment that every minor child-related errand is sacred, but those of us who don't have children are never supposed to take time off or have commitments outside work. Someone who was forever taking off during the work day to do stuff for his kids once told my husband that our planned weekend trip was just a non-essential "choice". As if that guy's wife's uterus was a Pez dispenser set on auto, squirting out kids with no "choices" involved. Bah.

Weird thing to happen- ever since your mullet retail I'd not stopped laughing. Developed a crush if you will. I swear I thought you were a guy from pic

Pet peeve: when your crush is a hetero girl too, haha!

Yes- knew pic wasn't you but still funny thing that happened

Edited November 13, 2015 by KnoxForPres

[Sara2009]

Personally, I like performers who can sing AND dance.

[bilgistic]

After 20-odd years, my favorite local band reunited six months ago and the lead guitarist's 21-year-old daughter spent the entire show taking video with her GoPro camera on a stick, taking selfies with her friends and mother and generally being a giant pain in my ass, as I was to her right, belly up to the stage. I wanted to shove that selfie stick up her entitled ass. I was there to watch the band and hear the music, not have some special snowflake leaning all over me, getting pictures of her dad.

 

The sole good thing about it was that I didn't end up in any videos because I was standing right next to her.

[JTMacc99]

Personally, I like performers who can sing AND dance.

Makes sense to me.  Art is art. People can appreciate the same thing the same amount, but for two completely different reasons.  

 

I saw Roger Waters back when I was a kid, and while I thought the music was performed perfectly, I also really liked all of the crazy shit he had on the screens behind him (think "The Wall".)  A couple years after that I saw the Beastie Boys, and their show wouldn't have been the same without them jumping all over the place.  If for some reason I were to go to a Katy Perry show, I would be disappointed if there weren't dancing sharks.  (I used Katy Perry because she can actually sing without the auto tuner, but I'd still be expecting a full blown show and not just singing.)

 

When it comes to art, performance or otherwise, I give people a lot of leeway when they say they enjoy something.  Young me didn't do that, and I kind of regret being that way.  Who the heck was I to judge something as subjective as that?

Edited November 13, 2015 by JTMacc99

[DeLurker]

Not really a peeve, more of a snit:  Trying the breakfast place that everyone raves about it and finding it very average.  With coffee that is just so-so.

[Bastet]

Rubber gloves.

 

I hate using gloves - my hands get sweaty, I can't properly feel what I'm working on, etc. - so I only do it with particularly caustic substances.  But I'm off today to take care of a bunch of long-delayed little projects, one of which involves TSP (the real stuff, which the EPA will pry out of my cold, dead hands because once every blue moon there is something for which only TSP will do).  So I dutifully put on a pair of gloves, and was annoyed within minutes.  Dishwashing gloves, disposable surgical gloves, thin plastic lunch lady gloves ... I don't care what kind of glove it is, it bugs me.

 

Thank you. 

[JTMacc99]

Not really a peeve, more of a snit:  Trying the breakfast place that everyone raves about it and finding it very average.  With coffee that is just so-so.

Yes! Especially if you make a special trip and have high hopes.

 

There is a new bakery in the area, and the scuttlebutt is that the specialty doughnuts are fantastic. I'm already planning on dragging the kids with me to stand on a long line to get these so-called super doughnuts this weekend. The damn doughnuts better be good.

[Quof]

I hate using gloves - my hands get sweaty, I can't properly feel what I'm working on, etc. - so I only do it with particularly caustic substances.  But I'm off today to take care of a bunch of long-delayed little projects, one of which involves TSP (the real stuff, which the EPA will pry out of my cold, dead hands because once every blue moon there is something for which only TSP will do).  So I dutifully put on a pair of gloves, and was annoyed within minutes.

I hear you on the gloves vs TSP hatred.  My solution is to put TSP and water in a spray bottle, soak the surface with it and scrub with a brush, sponge or whatever is appropriate with a long handle. My hands never touch the TSP, hence no gloves needed.

[janestclair]

I don't go to a lot of concerts, but this seems to be an ongoing issue. My favorite band is from Finland, and while they tour the U.S. when they release a new album, they're not here constantly and so when they are, I want to go see them. One reason they are my favorite band is they actually perform well live; in fact, I tend to prefer their live versions of songs to the studio versions.  So the first time I saw them was a couple of years ago, and imagine my surprise when the voice that I usually love to hear sounded instead like Minnie Mouse. Things improved a bit as I moved a little back from the stage, and that's when I realized how many people were singing along entirely too loudly, to the point of drowning out the actual singer. So, important lesson: When one stands very close to the stage, what one tends to hear is not so much the lead singer as the off-key caterwauling of audience members, many of whom desperately need to be told not to quit their day job.

 

My pet peeve for music in general is that I am extremely tired of the "performers" as opposed to actual musicians and/or singers who can carry a tune. Maybe it's just me, but when I see a singer or group with a dozen dancers, intense choreography, and a freaking bedazzled microphone, my first thought is that those elements are there to distract the audience from noticing that the lyrics are egregiously insipid, the so-called melody is the musical equivalent of a paint-by-numbers piece, and the lead singer has a vocal range of three notes, two of which are flat. What I want from a solo artist or a group is the ability to come on the stage without the theatrics and play/sing compelling songs in a way that does the songs justice.

 

Totally agree. All of my favorite artists sound better live than they do on CD.  They come out on stage, they're instruments are beat to shit from being well used, and they just sing and play and put on a hell of a show.  One of my favorite memories was of a band called Great Big Sea (Newfoundland folk/pop/rock etc) who came out on stage and did a song completely a capella, with no microphones.  The place was dead silent. It was amazing.  That's what i go to concerts for.  So sad they don't tour anymore. 

 

Rubber gloves.

 

I hate using gloves - my hands get sweaty, I can't properly feel what I'm working on, etc. - so I only do it with particularly caustic substances.  But I'm off today to take care of a bunch of long-delayed little projects, one of which involves TSP (the real stuff, which the EPA will pry out of my cold, dead hands because once every blue moon there is something for which only TSP will do).  So I dutifully put on a pair of gloves, and was annoyed within minutes.  Dishwashing gloves, disposable surgical gloves, thin plastic lunch lady gloves ... I don't care what kind of glove it is, it bugs me.

 

Thank you. 

 

I spent a few years in grad school as a medical assistant and developed a latex allergy from wearing gloves so much. The ones that skeeved me out the most were always the ones with the powder inside.  Shudder. 

 

Today's peeve is my car insurance.  I bought a new car a few weeks ago, and took the opportunity to  change insurance companies because I found one that was 200 bucks cheaper (Yay!).  Called my insurance company to find out what I needed to do to cancel my policy with them, and was told to send a letter indicating that I had new coverage.  That was two weeks ago, and I have yet to receive a check. So I call again today to find out where in the hell my $1000 bucks is (it was a full year of insurance that had just started) and they're like, "Oh you need to send us a copy of the policy."

 

....

 

Why did you not tell me this on the phone when I called initially?  Alternately, you could've called when you received my letter.  Instead, you did nothing. If I hadn't called, clearly they were just going to keep my money. I swear if they try to reduce the amount of my refund because of this delay, I am going to go postal. I cannot stand people who do not do their job. 

[Quof]

One of my favorite memories was of a band called Great Big Sea (Newfoundland folk/pop/rock etc) who came out on stage and did a song completely a capella, with no microphones.  The place was dead silent. It was amazing.  That's what i go to concerts for.  So sad they don't tour anymore.

There's a good reason GBS doesn't tour anymore.....

 

One of my hobbies is travelling to see my favourite artists perform. From "unknown" acts in small venues, to big name artists in stadiums, it's one of my favourite things and I'm checking names off my bucket list (I saw Adele in a small club when she was touring 19 and no one knew who she was.)  On only two occasions have I felt I didn't get my money's worth.   The Dixie Chicks, while fabulous musicians, barely spoke a word through the entire show; I might as well have stayed home and played their CDs.   I guess when people threaten to kill your children over your off the cuff comment, you become a little circumspect in your stage patter.  Elton John was even worse, he was tired and lethargic and just parked himself at the piano and went through the motions.  I don't think he even said "hello" or "good night".  You're old, Elton. Hang it up.