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Alyssa and John: Lunch with Lurch


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I see that Kelly spared no effort and expense for her "biblical costume". It looks like she just threw a shawl over one of her regular dresses. Some of them didn't even bother to dress up. Quite a sad effort to keep a dying event on life support if your ask me. I think it was Esther, Nathan's wife who dressed up like an Egyptian pagan upper class woman...not the biblical that the Bates' were looking for if you ask me. It was not worth the effort that John had to put out to attend this. The guy worked all week/ all day and then had to do all of that driving and "partying"....then hit the road again. They really don't care about that, do they?

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3 hours ago, Absolom said:

I don't think so.  They'd known about that for months and could have halted production instead of announcing the next season.  Not to mention UP has had to have known about the racism for years.  We all did and we don't see them in person.  

Even worse,  Figure 8 FILMED the George Floyd skit and nothing was done. That's why I think something else was going on. 

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34 minutes ago, emmawoodhouse said:

Even worse,  Figure 8 FILMED the George Floyd skit and nothing was done. That's why I think something else was going on. 

Yep.  There's also the fact that much of the next season was already filmed and Up had been promoting it vigorously on the air complete with clips from upcoming shows.  Suddenly, maybe a week before it was supposed to air, they canceled it entirely and didn't show any of the new season claiming that the network was going to be moving away from that kind of reality programming and making original, scripted shows instead.  Shows which apparently hadn't even been cast, written or filmed yet.

The abruptness of the cancellation after all of the advertising for the show and the willingness of Up to just trash an entire season's worth of episodes when they didn't have an immediate replacement available made us pretty suspicious that Up got somemajor negative info about one or more of the Bates, to the point where the network decided they were donezo.

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In a recent YouTube, Alyssa brings her daughters to a special child-haircutting salon. Really? All she had done to the girls was for the stylist to take off a few inches on the bottom. The littlest one; had a little trim all around. Seriously, she couldn't do that herself at home? Anyone can take a few inches off the bottom themselves. I wonder what those haircuts cost? Then out for mani/pedis and smoothies? Send out for pizza too.  How does John put up with all this unnecessary spending? No wonder they "aren't rich" as he has stated. I don't think Alyssa really understands the value of a dollar; since she has never held a real job....ever.

At this point in life, as I have passed this point in my own life, they need to be saving/investing as much money as they can for their future. If I were John, I would be livid. Such waste. I understand her YouTube channel brings income in but you still have to spend less and save more. JMHO

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2 hours ago, floridamom said:

In a recent YouTube, Alyssa brings her daughters to a special child-haircutting salon. Really? All she had done to the girls was for the stylist to take off a few inches on the bottom. The littlest one; had a little trim all around. Seriously, she couldn't do that herself at home? Anyone can take a few inches off the bottom themselves. I wonder what those haircuts cost? Then out for mani/pedis and smoothies? Send out for pizza too.  How does John put up with all this unnecessary spending? No wonder they "aren't rich" as he has stated. I don't think Alyssa really understands the value of a dollar; since she has never held a real job....ever.

At this point in life, as I have passed this point in my own life, they need to be saving/investing as much money as they can for their future. If I were John, I would be livid. Such waste. I understand her YouTube channel brings income in but you still have to spend less and save more. JMHO

I think she is really struggling with content for one YouTube per week, never mind two videos. Plus Addee is still there? I did see Addee with a notebook, must be in response to all the “when does she do school” comments. 

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27 minutes ago, ozziemom said:

I think she is really struggling with content for one YouTube per week, never mind two videos. Plus Addee is still there? I did see Addee with a notebook, must be in response to all the “when does she do school” comments. 

Sometimes people Who grew up with very little spend it as fast as they can make it. They live in the moment. There is a whole school of thought around this and maybe someone can explain it better than I can. I am Not condoning. These people have few good role models and maybe right now for John it is easier to go along to get along at least for a YouTube. We see the shiny side of them. Maybe there is another side not filmed. 

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The haircuts did not bother me.  My mother used to cut my bangs and she did a terrible job, ( I have pictures to prove it), so I can see where Alyssa might not want to do it herself.  Plus, it does not appear to be a frequent event, and those places are usually pretty reasonable.  Allie did look to be too big for that truck though. 

The nail salon trips, however, are an expensive indulgence. With the possible exception of Erin and Tori, all of the Bates sisters seem to be addicted to getting regular mani- pedis. Josie works in the industry so I can see where it might be more of a priority for her, plus she probably gets some sort of professional courtesy discount. The others though? Probably money that could be put to better use.

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1 hour ago, ozziemom said:

I think she is really struggling with content for one YouTube per week, never mind two videos. Plus Addee is still there? I did see Addee with a notebook, must be in response to all the “when does she do school” comments. 

That was such an F.U. Interwebz moment. Alyssa and Addie addressed schooling in her stories. Alyssa claimed Addie does her work while the girls do theirs, however Addie was super nervous and giggly and moved on from the subject as quickly as possible. It was so obvious they were lying. 

I can give a pass on the haircuts. Jessa Duggar cuts her kids hair and she absolutely mangles it. I noticed the girls didn't get shampoos and blowouts, so the cost probably wasn't unreasonable. What kills me with the Bates women is the nails. I've never seen so many trips for manicures and pedicures in my life. I know fake nails have to be filled and maintained but it's like they go every four days. We all have our vices, but it's borderline obsession with them.

I also agree John and Alyssa spend every dollar that comes in. He's even said they struggle to stick to a budget, and the garage at their old house was filled top to bottom with stuff. The fact that she's pumping out an additional video per week, indicates the loss of show income was a serious hit. 

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14 minutes ago, BitterApple said:

I can give a pass on the haircuts. Jessa Duggar cuts her kids hair and she absolutely mangles it. I noticed the girls didn't get shampoos and blowouts, so the cost probably wasn't unreasonable. What kills me with the Bates women is the nails. I've never seen so many trips for manicures and pedicures in my life. I know fake nails have to be filled and maintained but it's like they go every four days. We all have our vices, but it's borderline obsession with them.

I am not a nail person.  I went once before my daughter's wedding, got a gel manicure, and it ruined my nails for the next six months. That was six years ago, and maybe they have improved upon the way they remove the gel polish, but it was awful. 

My daughter does go once a month, but she just gets the polish, and has short natural nails.  She also has a good job and it is definitely not a drain on her budget.

Yes, the Bates sisters are obsessed with nails.  I just don't understand it, and it really doesn't seem practical to have long pointy nails when you are caring for infants and toddlers.  

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52 minutes ago, BitterApple said:

I can give a pass on the haircuts. Jessa Duggar cuts her kids hair and she absolutely mangles it. I noticed the girls didn't get shampoos and blowouts, so the cost probably wasn't unreasonable.

The kiddie place where my daughter takes the grandkids rarely does shampoo and blowout/curl.  A little bit of final styling is included.  They usually do a braid in granddaughter's hair and spray some product on grandson's hair after the final combing.  My daughter has never cut their hair as it isn't in her skillset.  She takes granddaughter in two or three times a year so it isn't cost prohibitive for girls and unless you're talented boys once they start school need to be done by a professional.  

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Wow, so Alyssa just posted a Q&A on YouTube and said she and her family aren't going to Lawson's wedding. She blamed gas prices and all the traveling they've done recently, but I have to say, I'm a bit shocked. I don't know why John and his family can't watch the kids so at least Alyssa could go. It makes me wonder which other Bateses are opting out?

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56 minutes ago, emmawoodhouse said:

She also admitted to using birth control, but not the pill. Also of note, now she wants a "large family." Isn't it large enough already? Four kids is a lot, but Alyssa apparently wants more.

Of course she does. No way is she going to let Erin win the baby race.

With regards to the wedding, the cynical side of me thinks Alyssa put out "we can't afford it" feelers hoping Tikky or another one of her groupies swoops in and pays for the tickets. 

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Yeah Law and Tiff is the first wedding post TV show so not surprising that the Webster’s aren’t going. San Diego area is expensive and very far from Florida. It will be interesting to see which other Bates siblings won’t be attending or maybe not bringing along all the kids. My guess is since Nate and Esther are in the wedding, they are the only 100% confirmed attending of the married couples. Erin, Tori and Zac have 3-5 kids, so I doubt the whole crew is going. Carlin will have a what, 6 week old baby, so would be surprised if the whole Stew Crew goes. Josie and Kelton are probably going. Will Travis be done with college by then? That would be a good excuse for them. I’m sure KJ will be putting pressure on them all to go even though they were all just together for two other weddings.

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The end of the whole clannish experience is at hand and I'm glad.  It's time for the second generation couples to go their own ways and show up when and where it works for them.  It's the small cuts of the strings that will eventually free them to follow their own paths.  The end of the TV show for whatever reason is a gift to the family.

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23 minutes ago, Absolom said:

The end of the whole clannish experience is at hand and I'm glad.  It's time for the second generation couples to go their own ways and show up when and where it works for them.  It's the small cuts of the strings that will eventually free them to follow their own paths.  The end of the TV show for whatever reason is a gift to the family.

I'm certain that they don't see it as a gift. But yes, its demise will hopefully spell some splintering of the cult mentality.

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16 hours ago, ozziemom said:

 It will be interesting to see which other Bates siblings won’t be attending or maybe not bringing along all the kids. My guess is since Nate and Esther are in the wedding, they are the only 100% confirmed attending of the married couples. Erin, Tori and Zac have 3-5 kids, so I doubt the whole crew is going. Carlin will have a what, 6 week old baby, so would be surprised if the whole Stew Crew goes. Josie and Kelton are probably going. Will Travis be done with college by then?

I read on another forum that Michael, Katie and Josie said they're going. I agree that if Erin, Tori and Zach attend, it probably won't be with the entire family in tow. Carlin hates to be left out, so if she has to drag her newborn cross country, she'll do it. 

I just hope Lawson and Tiffany are understanding. I've seen weddings bring out the worst in people. 

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2 hours ago, BitterApple said:

I read on another forum that Michael, Katie and Josie said they're going. I agree that if Erin, Tori and Zach attend, it probably won't be with the entire family in tow. Carlin hates to be left out, so if she has to drag her newborn cross country, she'll do it. 

I just hope Lawson and Tiffany are understanding. I've seen weddings bring out the worst in people. 

Carlin, Evan, and newborn boy are going. They are debating whether to take Layla. 

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1 hour ago, emmawoodhouse said:

They may not go now that they got the house. They anticipate having the keys by the end of April. 

Those two just love being in the middle of things, can’t see them staying home. However, getting a house and having a newborn may be too much. So Carlin will end up like Alyssa, moving with an infant. At least Carlin and Evan will have plenty of sitters. 
 

When/where did they announce they have the house? I couldn’t find anything on their stories, IG, or YouTube channel. 

Edited by SMama
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15 minutes ago, SMama said:

Those two just love being in the middle of things, can’t see them staying home. However, getting a house and having a newborn may be too much. So Carlin will end up like Alyssa, moving with an infant. At least Carlin and Evan will have plenty of sitters. 
 

When/where did they announce they have the house? I couldn’t find anything on their stories, IG, or YouTube channel. 

They announced on their latest vlog (YouTube). 

 

Edited by emmawoodhouse
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Alyssa not going to Law's wedding screams . . . something . . . IDK what but no way it's about cost alone. Sorry Miss I get coffee every time I leave the home, manis/pedis twice/month, date nights nearly weekly no matter how much she says they never get to go on dates -- really can't afford ONE $400 ticket from MCO to San Diego? Just looked up ticket prices, they haven't risen that much. Plus the wedding date was announced in Jan, so if she was really interested in a deal, she would have book at ~$300 ticket then. Carlin and Josie always talk about tracking trips on the Hopper app, so she knows there's ways to look for deals. 

No one is saying she needs to buy 6 tix - I can see why that would be cost prohibitive. But for a Thursday wedding, can she really not fly out alone Wed. and fly back Friday with her MIL/SILs and some combo of sweet friends watching her kids during they day and John picking them up at night?

To me this screams - grifting - she is Gil's daughter after all. She may be counting on some sweet viewer feeling sorry for her and suddenly gifting them enough points for six plane tix. Or it screams - now that UP is gone, family events are lame and expensive [see I Love You Day] and I'm not required to be there, so sorry we aren't going to waste our time and money. Or it screams - I'm annoyed that none of my ADORABLE daughters are flower girls so why should I waste my time and money? Or it screams some kind of underlying problem with Tiff - I mean let's be real, in their heart of hearts I have a feel a LOT of the Bates aren't ok with an Asian person coming into THEIR family; sure it's ok to see an Asian person on the street, but is it really ok in THEIR family? I hope I'm wrong on that last one . . . .

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When most of the groom's family members live in the eastern part of the country and have multiple children and you plan a wedding on the west coast it stands to reason that only a few of the groom's family members will spring for plane tickets for the wedding. I imagine that it comes down to a matter of finances and who can take the time off from work. By May Webster A/C business will be in their busy season. Unless the sisters are willing to travel alone to the wedding which would make sense there probably will not be a whole bunch of the Bates going to the wedding.   

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I don't recall Lawson being among the steady stream of visitors to Alyssa's new house.  Maybe they just aren't that close and she doesn't feel as obligated to go all the way to San Diego. They drove to the other weddings, but they did fly to a friend's wedding in DC last year. Granted, airfare from Florida to DC is a lot cheaper than to San Diego, and John's congressman father probably has a lot of connections and favors he can call in, but still, I can see where Lawson might take offense.

 

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I find it odd because Alyssa is the last person I'd pick to pass up a trip to California. San Diego would be a gold mine for her in terms of selfies and social media content. I get that it wouldn't be feasible to take the entire family, but Alyssa could just go on her own. Surely between John's family and their friends there'd be enough people to help with the kids. And as cereality noted, this is not a woman who's a shrinking violet when it comes to spending money. If it were Erin or Tori, it wouldn't ping my radar, but Alyssa not going is a bit of a surprise. 

 

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10 hours ago, BitterApple said:

I find it odd because Alyssa is the last person I'd pick to pass up a trip to California. San Diego would be a gold mine for her in terms of selfies and social media content. I get that it wouldn't be feasible to take the entire family, but Alyssa could just go on her own. Surely between John's family and their friends there'd be enough people to help with the kids. And as cereality noted, this is not a woman who's a shrinking violet when it comes to spending money. If it were Erin or Tori, it wouldn't ping my radar, but Alyssa not going is a bit of a surprise. 

 

Maybe John isn’t enthusiastic about going and she is attempting to get an outcry of “oh you can’t miss this wedding”.  

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I wonder if she doesn’t want to be alone at a wedding. All of her siblings will be there with their spouse, so she would be the odd person out. I’m sure she wouldn’t want other people at the wedding wondering why her husband wasn’t there, or worse - why she wasn’t married! This is not an event to be at without your spouse (at least in the minds of their set).

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17 minutes ago, MargeGunderson said:

I wonder if she doesn’t want to be alone at a wedding. All of her siblings will be there with their spouse, so she would be the odd person out. I’m sure she wouldn’t want other people at the wedding wondering why her husband wasn’t there, or worse - why she wasn’t married! This is not an event to be at without your spouse (at least in the minds of their set).

In their world, the only purpose of a woman's life is to find a husband and pop out kids.  I wonder if she doesn't feel it is 'proper' to attend a wedding without her husband.  I could see that being an issue for any of them; weddings are all about the couple and I could see Alyssa not wanting to go without her husband in tow.

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13 hours ago, BitterApple said:

I find it odd because Alyssa is the last person I'd pick to pass up a trip to California. San Diego would be a gold mine for her in terms of selfies and social media content. I get that it wouldn't be feasible to take the entire family, but Alyssa could just go on her own. Surely between John's family and their friends there'd be enough people to help with the kids. And as cereality noted, this is not a woman who's a shrinking violet when it comes to spending money. If it were Erin or Tori, it wouldn't ping my radar, but Alyssa not going is a bit of a surprise. 

 

I too am surprised she isn't going to this as a business trip -- i.e. to get content for like 2-4 of her boring ass twice weekly YT videos. I mean YT IS the only way the girls make money now - they get free products via Insta but actual cash comes from YT. I'm positive that's why Carlin and Evan are going like a month after she pops out a kid and is on clotting meds etc. because they realize that after baby boy's arrival video, a few videos on his name/him as a newborn/Layla as a big sister, and house closing/moving in/getting settled - there is no more content beyond the boring - OMG life w/ two kids is sooooo hard. So now instead of 6-8 videos on the preceding, with Law's wedding they'll get more like 8-10. They tend to get about 100k hits/video, at $3-5 per thousand hits, that's a chance to make an extra $600-1000 on two videos -- that pays for their flights/cheap hotel.

Though reality is Alyssa's videos don't even get half the hits so an extra $300-500 total for two videos may not outweigh having to deal with her family who she clearly does not enjoy + having to go without John. I mean it's 2022, married people do go places without their spouse but how would she then show her giant of a man leaning on her to take pics or show how in love they are blah blah and gasp what if someone thought him not coming means they're on the rocks or her leaving the kids with him for a WHOLE two days means she's a bad mom and wife.

Knowing Law though he'll control what siblings are allowed to put on social media about HIS wedding. Katie did the same - I know with Katie it was because the show was going to air it, but for Law and Tiff it'll be about them wanting to get videos out there with the most content so THEY make the most money.

I do agree that Alyssa isn't close with Law. He has been to Fla. - as he slid into Tiff's DMs while at Alyssa's house, BUT I don't think it's often + if he does go, Alyssa doesn't feature him in her IG the way she does Jackson/Warden/Isaiah or Addie. I think on the whole the siblings who grew up in close age to Alyssa really don't like her/think she's bitchy. I think the sibling she's closest to is Trace who is 3 yrs younger [and a brother can only be SO close to a sister] or Carlin who is 4 yrs younger. And then she chases after the siblings ages 15-20 [Jackson/Warden/Isiah/Addie/Ellie] who were only ages 6-11 when she married and let's be real it's not as she says bc she wants to get to know them, it's bc they are useful to her now whether for home reno or raising her kids.

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So per Erin's Instagram stories she and Chad were visiting a pastor friend in Debary, FL, which I assume is close to Alyssa's (I can't remember the name of the town where they live).  Maybe Chad and Erin just stayed for the night, and then went to see their friends.

Still, I find it bizarre that Alyssa has absolutely no mention of the visit on her IG.  She always posts when other siblings come to visit, even when Michael came for a short overnight stop on her way somewhere else.

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How pissed is Alyssa right now? She has said that their boy name - should they ever have one - is Zane/Zain - and Carlin gets the boy on just her second kid and uses Zade. Not that that would necessarily stop Alyssa. This family doesn't have a problem with names being one letter apart like Kade and Zade, even though Kade isn't his real name. And in large families repetition of names can be inevitable - but that's usually like two Michaels or Johns, not like Kade, Zade, and Zane. But they already haven't been able to produce a boy and now their preferred first name is sort of stolen by a sister who hasn't even been trying for 3 years yet and already had a boy. 

As for not acknowledging Erin - yeah you know it's 100% because Erin didn't volunteer her husband to replace their roof or redo their bathroom or whatever project is next on Alyssa's list. As much as Erin used to make Chad be the family's contractor, I don't think she pushes it now that she doesn't seem to get along with most siblings and I think she esp doesn't encourage him to do work for siblings who won't pay. We've seen him do stuff for Tori and Z recently but I have a feeling he dealt with Bobby and Z [not the wives - even though Tori and Erin are close] and came up with a price both sides were satisfied with. Notice how Erin no longer volunteers him to her grifter dad the way she used to at the beginning of the marriage - and Alyssa is 100% a grifter like Gil. She'd probably expect Chad to take 2 days out of his vacation, even though they vacation so rarely, do a project for free, and oh on the last night babysit their kids so A&J could get a date night bc she and John supposedly never get to go out alone together. [eyeroll]

As for acknowledging Michael who only stopped by for a few hours early one morning when passing thru, guess what knowing Michael, I can 100% assume she stopped in with coffee for Alyssa + whipped up some muffins, cinnamon rolls or pancakes or something for breakfast and maybe even a dinner for them to have later even though she and Brandon would be gone by then + who knows maybe she even watched all the kids for a hour before hitting the road so Alyssa could run out for a coffee and mani/pedi without the kids.

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Lulz! Michael was cooking when she visited Alyssa! I distinctly remember it from Alyssa's stories. 

The Zade/Zane kerfuffle reminds me of that SATC episode when the girls went to a baby shower only to discover the expectant mom stole Charlotte's baby name. I agree Alyssa is big mad right now, and that sort of makes me love Carlin. 

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28 minutes ago, BitterApple said:

Lulz! Michael was cooking when she visited Alyssa! I distinctly remember it from Alyssa's stories. 

The Zade/Zane kerfuffle reminds me of that SATC episode when the girls went to a baby shower only to discover the expectant mom stole Charlotte's baby name. I agree Alyssa is big mad right now, and that sort of makes me love Carlin. 

Maybe that's why C & E couldn't decide on a name until the baby was born. Carlin wanted to keep it a secret as long as possible. Zade wasn't even on the list, was it?

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2 hours ago, 3 is enough said:

Well, today was Zoey’s 4th birthday, which means she got her very first “Daddy-daughter date”.  I guess that kept Alyssa busy.  At least Zoey only got a squirt of perfume, but no makeup.  
I just find the whole thing to be so creepy.

So creepy!  I'd love John's honest feelings on the whole thing.  I could see a simple fun birthday thing he does with a daughter.  Like maybe go to a park or something SHE wants to do, but not the whole fiasco they.  Does he really like getting filmed putting on his shoes and looking like a dork?    I wouldn't think so.  I'd hope he wouldn't. The videos are just sad.

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13 hours ago, 3 is enough said:

Well, today was Zoey’s 4th birthday, which means she got her very first “Daddy-daughter date”.  I guess that kept Alyssa busy.  At least Zoey only got a squirt of perfume, but no makeup.  
I just find the whole thing to be so creepy.

 

10 hours ago, So unbelievable said:

So creepy!  I'd love John's honest feelings on the whole thing.  I could see a simple fun birthday thing he does with a daughter.  Like maybe go to a park or something SHE wants to do, but not the whole fiasco they.  Does he really like getting filmed putting on his shoes and looking like a dork?    I wouldn't think so.  I'd hope he wouldn't. The videos are just sad.

Agree and agree. Normally I'd think a father doing a special outing with his daughter was sweet, but the Websters' way of doing it is so inappropriate. Curling your hair, putting on makeup and spraying perfume is what adult women do to prep for a romantic date. Then John shows up at the door in suit and tie, with flowers? It's so icky. Of course the leghumpers are just eating it up and praising John for being such an amazing dad. Right, the same guy who didn't want to watch his sick daughter so his wife could pick up family at the airport. 🙄.

 

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