Alyssa and John: Lunch with Lurch

[riverblue22]

On 10/11/2021 at 5:45 PM, BitterApple said:

 Alyssa would think nothing of it, but I certainly hope John has enough sense not to leave four small kids with a fifteen year-old all day while he was at work. 

I'm surprised that it was acceptable for a young girl like Addalee to be staying in a home with an adult male while her sister was gone, even with young children around.  I would have thought the Bates parents would disapprove.

[floridamom]

Who is this "Tikki" lady that gives Alyssa those matching dresses?

[BitterApple]

4 hours ago, floridamom said:

Who is this "Tikki" lady that gives Alyssa those matching dresses?

She's a self-proclaimed "friend" who buys the girls tons of stuff. How she came into the picture, who knows, but Alyssa never even acknowledged her until Tikki herself spoke up on social media. 

[andromeda331]

4 hours ago, BitterApple said:

She's a self-proclaimed "friend" who buys the girls tons of stuff. How she came into the picture, who knows, but Alyssa never even acknowledged her until Tikki herself spoke up on social media. 

Its very weird. Why would anyone spend so much money buying clothes for someone else's kids? It would be weird enough for a family or friend to do that. 

[BitterApple]

2 hours ago, andromeda331 said:

Its very weird. Why would anyone spend so much money buying clothes for someone else's kids? It would be weird enough for a family or friend to do that. 

I agree, especially to the extent that Tikky does. I've never seen Alyssa or those girls wear the same church dresses twice. It's always new ensembles every weekend. This lady must've spent thousands by now, and for what? The whole thing feels creepy and stalkerish on one side, and exploitative on the other.

[YupItsMe]

22 hours ago, andromeda331 said:

Its very weird. Why would anyone spend so much money buying clothes for someone else's kids? It would be weird enough for a family or friend to do that. 

I think she makes them, but still, who has that much time?

[lookeyloo]

3 minutes ago, YupItsMe said:

I think she makes them, but still, who has that much time?

And fabric and notions are not cheap.

[SMama]

IIRC Tikky has sent gifts to Carlin, and she most likely paid for Katie’s and Alyssa’s Miami trip.

[emmawoodhouse]

Is Tikky an heiress? Where does the money for all of this come from? 

Edited October 22, 2021 by emmawoodhouse

[65mickey]

Maybe she is a successful business woman. From early on Alyssa has said that Tikky is a dear friend and she has given credit to her for sending the matching clothes.  I've never had a friend like this but I doubt that there is anything nefarious about this. We should all be so fortunate. 

[emmawoodhouse]

I googled her. Her LinkedIn says she's the GM of a place called Sor. But I can't find out what Sor is. 

[SMama]

I found a Realty firm, and pressure switch manufacturers.

[3 is enough]

What I really want to know is why does Alyssa feel the need to post pictures of her morning coffee almost every.single.day?  
I have had two cups of tea every morning for the past 50 years.  And I have never felt the need to take a picture of said tea. Never took a picture of a Starbucks or Tim Horton’s order either.  
Am I missing something? 🤷🏼‍♀️

[ozziemom]

28 minutes ago, 3 is enough said:

What I really want to know is why does Alyssa feel the need to post pictures of her morning coffee almost every.single.day?  
I have had two cups of tea every morning for the past 50 years.  And I have never felt the need to take a picture of said tea. Never took a picture of a Starbucks or Tim Horton’s order either.  
Am I missing something? 🤷🏼‍♀️

She loves coffee? She has the same coffee maker we had in our office back in the day. Don’t usually see those in someone’s home. Josie is posting pictures of her new Nespresso coffee/espresso maker today. Is this a competition? If so, round one to Josie.

[BitterApple]

I've also noticed she's posting their dinners a lot more as well. I guess she read all the criticism about the girls living off snack foods. I'm shocked they eat their meals in that white dining room though. I had a glass dining table and I ended up hating it. They're such a pain in the ass to keep looking clean.

And yeah, Josie's new Nespresso is pretty sweet. 

[Peanut6711]

Some day (probably soon) the Bates girls will write a book on How to Make Your Boring Life Look Exciting and Other Useful Influencer Tips to help the younger generation of fundie girls grow a social media following too.  Of course, each Bates daughter will probably write one in their attempt to out-do each other in typical social media fashion. Or they'll break into camps where Carlin/Alyssa co-author one, Josie/Katie another, or whatever combos are trending in their fundie click. I'm sure Erin will be on her own. Her's will probably be an A-Z guide.  And the books will serve as additional content to prop on their pages in this vicious cycle. 

Edited October 27, 2021 by Peanut6711

[3 is enough]

Yes, I am scratching my head at that Bunn coffee maker too.  Especially since Alyssa seems to like everything new and trendy.  The Nespresso wins hands down.

My husband is the coffee drinker in our house.  For the first 40 years of our marriage the coffee was made with the old school stovetop espresso pot. Our kids got him a Nespresso machine for Father's Day.  He was a bit hesitant at first but now he loves it.  

[BitterApple]

2 hours ago, Peanut6711 said:

Some day (probably soon) the Bates girls will write a book on How to Make Your Boring Life Look Exciting and Other Useful Influencer Tips to help the younger generation of fundie girls grow a social media following too.  Of course, each Bates daughter will probably write one in their attempt to out-do each other in typical social media fashion. Or they'll break into camps where Carlin/Alyssa co-author one, Josie/Katie another, or whatever combos are trending in their fundie click. I'm sure Erin will be on her own. Her's will probably be an A-Z guide.  And the books will serve as additional content to prop on their pages in this vicious cycle. 

That's the one thing that legitimately fascinates me about the Bates girls. They're absolute wizards at social media while the Duggar girls are horrible at it. You'd think it would be the opposite considering the latter had a well-known tv show for over a decade. The Bates sisters are light years ahead in terms of branding, marketing, presentation, etc.

[3 is enough]

I do think the Bates kids were not as isolated as the Duggars.  Even their homeschool educations were a bit better- Kelly did go to college after all.  And most of the older kids did go to Crown College- I know we scoff at it, but it is better than nothing at all and at least they got some experience of education outside of the home. Plus, even within the family they seemed closer and there were no crazy rules for sibling interactions like the Duggars had because of Josh.

[ozziemom]

So it seems that Ellie is in Florida with the Webster’s. Do the Bates kids ever go to school? With KJ and Gil in Italy I guess the younger kids are all farmed out. Addee is probably with Whit’s kids and Michael has the rest since they are too young to babysit their nieces & nephews.

[ozziemom]

Apparently while Ellie is in Florida Alyssa is working on Maci’s baby book. She showed pages from all four and there seems to be a lot of pictures of Alyssa during her pregnancies, like one for every week! Just what a kid wants when they are older, oh yeah, remember how mom looked at 24 weeks. But it does reinforce the idea that a woman’s main focus in life is giving birth, which I guess you’re never too young to hear about.

[Tdoc72]

4 hours ago, ozziemom said:

Apparently while Ellie is in Florida Alyssa is working on Maci’s baby book. She showed pages from all four and there seems to be a lot of pictures of Alyssa during her pregnancies, like one for every week! Just what a kid wants when they are older, oh yeah, remember how mom looked at 24 weeks. But it does reinforce the idea that a woman’s main focus in life is giving birth, which I guess you’re never too young to hear about.

I found it weird too. You don’t change that much week to week. 

[BitterApple]

 I just watched Alyssa's latest Instagram stories, and she did an ad for that pricey bedding (Boll and Branch, I think?), so it looks like she did get it for free. No shade from me, if a company's offering, then why not, but I came here mostly to comment on John. He looked exhausted and miserable, so of course Alyssa wants to go on a dinner date so she can wear her new dress. Ellie is babysitting (naturally). I'm not snarking on a date night but it looked like it was the last thing John wanted to do. I think this last road trip really took the piss out of him and it's kind of sad his wife doesn't see it. 

[ozziemom]

1 hour ago, BitterApple said:

 I just watched Alyssa's latest Instagram stories, and she did an ad for that pricey bedding (Boll and Branch, I think?), so it looks like she did get it for free. No shade from me, if a company's offering, then why not, but I came here mostly to comment on John. He looked exhausted and miserable, so of course Alyssa wants to go on a dinner date so she can wear her new dress. Ellie is babysitting (naturally). I'm not snarking on a date night but it looked like it was the last thing John wanted to do. I think this last road trip really took the piss out of him and it's kind of sad his wife doesn't see it. 

She really doesn’t notice John too much. I feel like they have “date” night quite a bit but she stated that it had been a long time. I guess it’s cos I don’t really get the Fundie obsession with date night. Like Carlin and Evan have gone out to dinner, called it date night but Layla is with them. Huh?? Also, again is Ellie on school vacation? I know KJ and Gil had to be in Italy for the big engagement, but do the younger Bates kids ever do any schooling? Ellie is probably supervising the Webster girls while they do school just like I bet Alyssa had to do when she was a teenager.

[BitterApple]

1 hour ago, ozziemom said:

She really doesn’t notice John too much. I feel like they have “date” night quite a bit but she stated that it had been a long time. I guess it’s cos I don’t really get the Fundie obsession with date night. Like Carlin and Evan have gone out to dinner, called it date night but Layla is with them. Huh?? Also, again is Ellie on school vacation? I know KJ and Gil had to be in Italy for the big engagement, but do the younger Bates kids ever do any schooling? Ellie is probably supervising the Webster girls while they do school just like I bet Alyssa had to do when she was a teenager.

Lol, yeah, I'd love to know Alyssa's definition of "a long time" because she posts pictures of herself ridiculously overdressed for date night every week. I also agree about John. I don't think Alyssa is a horrible person, but she's so consumed with influencing, kids and the house, that John comes in a very distant last. Even date nights are more about showing off her clothes than they are connecting with her spouse. John is starting to take on that same over-it look that Chad has been sporting for years. 

With regards to schooling, I think the younger Bates are like the Duggar Lost Girls. The parents don't care and they're not even keeping up the pretense anymore. 

[GeeGolly]

I feel bad for Alyssa's girls. There's no way they're not getting the implicit message of looks and clothing being very important. That sets your kids up for basing their self worth on the exterior rather then who they are as humans.

[cereality]

John looked TERRIBLE at the end of the drive home just 5 days ago and said he had driven 28 hrs in a week and a half. He drove back Sunday and back to work Monday. Does Alyssa not get (or care) that he doesn't get to nap during the day when Maci naps (as she was doing today)?? Like you really have to push him for a date night THIS WEEK?

This marriage does look more like Erin and Chad now, and John at 32 has aged A LOT; only the Bates women can make 30 yr old men look OLD. Alyssa posted honeymoon pics today and the light he had in his eyes at 25-26 then is GONE. Funny that Chad is looking better recently. I mean you can't reverse his aged look at 34 but I think there is some sense of relief for him as the baby train is closing; sure they may pull off 1-2 more miracle babies but he's looking at supporting 5-7 kids not 10+ and that's a big difference AND as Erin has separated from her family a bit the pressure on him is gone. There was a time when it was work a full day and then go re-shingle Gil's roof bc she volunteered him and then go back and do whatever re-do she wanted in her own cottage. At least that's over, I think she has zero interest in him wasting his time on her family anymore + there's nothing more they can do to that cottage.

Alyssa OTOH seems to have ZERO regard for John. He's the paycheck + the dick to give her babies + the arm candy to hold onto while she shows off another dress and that's it. She needs to spend all her time and effort on being an influencer. If she stops/falls off on posting, she'll be forgotten in 2 seconds (which is true for all influencers that aren't true Hollywood celebrities) and there goes the free bedding etc. So I feel like her focus is non stop perfect attire, pics, filters etc. whether the kids and John are feeling it or not.

But reality is if you watch their video re dating/engagement, she has always been kind of a bitch to him even back then - like he's SO LUCKY to have HER, he should WANT to deal with her BS. And he always justified it as - I knew you had to work hard to get a good girl, I never expected a girl to fall all over me. I guess he still justifies it like that - husband and dad life is SUPPOSED to suck, a real man sucks it up, that's what I'm doing, I'm a good man.

And yeah she had nothing in her life besides wedding + baby making and she's 100% setting up her daughters the same way by putting it in their heads that being pretty is all that matters for girls; weddings are SOOO magical + look at mommy's pregnancy book, this is ALL you have to aspire to in life. Kid #2 should get it out of her head that being a dentist would be cool . . . even if dining room school could get her into a state flagship university for biology (ha!), ain't happening when Alyssa is pushing her to start dating at 16 and marry at 18 like she did.

[GeeGolly]

In one of Alyssa's IG posts, she has a mini clip of her family walking into church. I wonder just how that conversation goes when she asks someone to film their asses?

[BitterApple]

10 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

In one of Alyssa's IG posts, she has a mini clip of her family walking into church. I wonder just how that conversation goes when she asks someone to film their asses?

I think her nanny her sister Ellie did the filming. Ellie must've drawn the short straw, because she's been stuck with childcare duty this week. 

[Tdoc72]

4 hours ago, BitterApple said:

I think her nanny her sister Ellie did the filming. Ellie must've drawn the short straw, because she's been stuck with childcare duty this week. 

With Josie, Carlin, & Whitney, I wonder how many kids she’s watching right now. Alyssa 4, Carlin 1, Josie at least the 3mo old that’s probably breastfeeding. Whitney’s a crapshoot since she doesn’t seem to bring her kids anywhere but the youngest is still a baby right?

[Tdoc72]

Also I’m wondering what movie they watched. 

[3 is enough]

Carlin posted a screenshot of Layla in her stories. It seems that she was with Evan.  I didn’t see any evidence of Josie bringing Hazel along either.  I wouldn’t be surprised if Michael was helping out back in Tennessee. No idea how long this bachelorette trip is supposed to last but I figure they will go home tomorrow or Wednesday.

[So unbelievable]

21 hours ago, Tdoc72 said:

Also I’m wondering what movie they watched. 

Bridesmaids!  Could you imagine?  ha ha

[ozziemom]

20 hours ago, 3 is enough said:

Carlin posted a screenshot of Layla in her stories. It seems that she was with Evan.  I didn’t see any evidence of Josie bringing Hazel along either.  I wouldn’t be surprised if Michael was helping out back in Tennessee. No idea how long this bachelorette trip is supposed to last but I figure they will go home tomorrow or Wednesday.

Carlin thanked Michael for taking Layla while Evan was at work, no idea who is watching Whit’s 4 kids or Josie’s 2 girls. Addee is on the bridesmaid trip and Ellie is in Florida with Alyssa’s girls. Maybe Callie is in charge back at the big house.

[emmawoodhouse]

50 minutes ago, So unbelievable said:

Bridesmaids!  Could you imagine?  ha ha

Ha! That was my joke. 😂

45 minutes ago, ozziemom said:

Carlin thanked Michael for taking Layla while Evan was at work, no idea who is watching Whit’s 4 kids or Josie’s 2 girls. Addee is on the bridesmaid trip and Ellie is in Florida with Alyssa’s girls. Maybe Callie is in charge back at the big house.

I imagine Ellie flew back with Kelly and the bridesmaids earlier today. At least I think they left today.

[3 is enough]

No, they are still there.  Big dinner at The Cheesecake Factory and then back to the Air B&B and the hot tub.  I guess tomorrow they will go home.

[emmawoodhouse]

UP can't be paying for ALL of this, can they? I don't see how dinner at the Cheesecake Factory is noteworthy. 

[ozziemom]

7 hours ago, emmawoodhouse said:

UP can't be paying for ALL of this, can they? I don't see how dinner at the Cheesecake Factory is noteworthy. 

Well they referred to Cheesecake dinner as the formal night, so there must be something I’m missing too.

[SMama]

Today they are taking a pottery class. 

[BitterApple]

Bringing the topic over from the Duggar forum, Alyssa and John did a YouTube Q&A. Someone on the Bates sub-Reddit did the Lord's work and wrote out a summary:

https://www.reddit.com/r/BringingUpBates/comments/qnnbda/summary_discussion_of_alyssas_latest_video_qa/

 

[IndianPaintbrush]

Yeah, John's thoughts on alcohol were interesting. It's a VERY big leap from having one drink to driving drunk and killing someone, but whatever works for them. And they really can't be surprised that people assume they are wealthy!

[BitterApple]

1 hour ago, IndianPaintbrush said:

Yeah, John's thoughts on alcohol were interesting. It's a VERY big leap from having one drink to driving drunk and killing someone, but whatever works for them. And they really can't be surprised that people assume they are wealthy!

*Eyeroll* I laughed at that as well. When all you do is travel, shop, dine out, decorate and renovate, of course people assume you have money. I think Alyssa getting a lot of free/discounted stuff through being an Influencer allows them to appear wealthier than they really are. If she had to pay full price for that war chest of Tula skincare or the matchy-matchy church dresses, there's no way she could afford it. 

[SMama]

I felt really bad for Alyssa when she obviously wants her girls to be in organized sports and ballet for Allie. John did not say a word and her eyes kept looking towards him. John just sat there as though there were not filming. Quite the eye opening moment for me. 
I know there is an impression about Alyssa running all over John. She does when it’s gender appropriate 🤮. But that part of the video made me realize John makes the “big” decisions, it made me sad. Layla has a better chance of playing an organized sport or take ballet.

[BitterApple]

8 minutes ago, SMama said:

I felt really bad for Alyssa when she obviously wants her girls to be in organized sports and ballet for Allie. John did not say a word and her eyes kept looking towards him. John just sat there as though there were not filming. 🤮

I noticed that too. Alyssa kept looking over, trying to prompt John to join in and he ignored the question. I don't think Allie will be doing ballet any time soon 😢.

[moonchild81]

when evan , carlin and layla were at his families house they watched a video of one of evan's sisters doing ballet I think / its on there youtube channel

[cereality]

Was totally wondering what she was talking about as she was like ONE DAY Allie may do ballet, as I was like she's 6, this is when kids start these activities. Because let's be honest most kids who want to do ballet start around age 5, quitting by age 8-10 because it becomes much more of a time commitment, body starts to matter etc.; so kids who just want to try it do it in 1st-4th grade and then choose something else.

I think all these husbands put up with all the filming/YT/IG (bc it brings $$$ into the household) + their wives' lack of cooking (bc they're trying not to fight), but make no mistake for all of these headships they are very clear that these are THEIR kids. Sure it's mom's job to bathe them and clothe them daily but big picture of how they are raised is up to dad. John comes from a traditional family - much more than Evan I think. I'm SURE he's like NO DAUGHTER OF MINE WILL DANCE IN PUBLIC; no way will he let his 6 yr old wear a tutu in public. And then it's prob extends to sports too even though sports can be fully clothed, bc sports aren't feminine. John himself has said the 2nd kid loves sports/more a tomboy. But in his mind - these girls will be WIVES in 14 short years, no man wants a tomboy, NO WAY am I allowing kid #2 to play softball or soccer or whatever and encouraging this -- she needs to spend time with her sisters and be lady like at age 4-5. I mean come on this is the man who starts taking his daughters on birthday dates starting at 4-5, while wearing a full suit and bringing them flowers, so they can learn how dates go/prep for their man!?

John always makes insecure, self deprecating comments re homeschooling (like oh y'all think we're losers bc we were homeschooled but our kids have FRIENDS, they'll make "friends" w/ other kids in line at Target - uh ok!?). So I think he's patting himself on the back for letting them out of the house 1 day (1/2 day?)/wk for co-op where they can have actual friends. Ain't no way he'll allow more than that whether it's dance or sports.

Evan's family OTOH while godly isn't AS traditional. He and his brother have posted pics over the years at soccer, softball, baseball - nephews AND nieces play; and I've seen pics from dance recitals too ballet but also the more mainstream stuff like tap or jazz or whatever and his nieces aren't as young as Alyssa's kids. Like if they were truly that old school, they wouldn't allow a 10 yr old girl to dance. I think Layla will get to do what she wants whether it's dance or sports or both. John I think all he'll allow is musical instruments like piano or violin bc then they can play for church purposes and that's ladylike and Godly.

Feeling worse for A&J's 2nd kid - she likes sports + has said she wants to be a dentist. The chance that either of those dreams comes true = 0%?!

Edited November 6, 2021 by cereality

[YupItsMe]

2 hours ago, BitterApple said:

*Eyeroll* I laughed at that as well. When all you do is travel, shop, dine out, decorate and renovate, of course people assume you have money. I think Alyssa getting a lot of free/discounted stuff through being an Influencer allows them to appear wealthier than they really are. If she had to pay full price for that war chest of Tula skincare or the matchy-matchy church dresses, there's no way she could afford it. 

And they recently bought a big house with a pool that they can afford to renovate. All that takes money.

[SMama]

2 hours ago, moonchild81 said:

when evan , carlin and layla were at his families house they watched a video of one of evan's sisters doing ballet I think / its on there youtube channel

Layla tried to imitate her cousin and was clearly encouraged by Carlin and Evan (and the rest of the family). I don’t think they will be opposed to sports or dancing. John said he looks up to his dad, the man known as Taliban Dan. That tells us a lot. 

[Dehumidifier]

4 hours ago, YupItsMe said:

And they recently bought a big house with a pool that they can afford to renovate. All that takes money.

After saving for seven years per Alyssa in the last Q&A video.

[emmawoodhouse]

4 minutes ago, Dehumidifier said:

After saving for seven years per Alyssa in the last Q&A video.

Saving what? They lived pretty extravagantly when they were still renting. John can't be making THAT much.