Meet the Parents: Gil and Kelly Jo Bates

[65mickey]

Wait, I get that Gil was spewing that crap that if a married man strays it is the wife's fault because she didn't pay him enough attention. Bad enough but did he really say that Josh watching child sex abuse on the internet is Anna's fault? Did he say that he blamed Anna for Josh being in prison?  Because if he said that he is one sick and twisted excuse for a man. 

Gil claiming that men go for the ugly secretary when they have a beautiful wife at home because the wife doesn't respect the man says to me he is pushing the notion that ugly women work while beautiful women get to stay home.  What a moron. 

[lookeyloo]

If this is the way people in Anna's circle think imagine what her life is like. 

[Salacious Kitty]

I hope Anna wasn't in the audience. 

[Absolom]

I don't think it's just Anna and Josh.  I think emphasizing the hierarchy of protection was also in response to Jinger's book.  There may be other women "getting ideas."

Edited April 28, 2023 by Absolom

[BetyBee]

Under Gil's "umbrella of protection" the kids were stacked like cordwood and didn't have enough to eat. They didn't get much of an education either. Gil was so bad at providing that he had to borrow from Lawson repeatedly. 

[GeeGolly]

So did Gil mention Josh by name? Because he if didn't, IMO, its a big leap to say he supports him or blames Anna.

Even Fundies have a spectrum. They can believe in patriarchy, but it doesn't mean they support men who view CSA. They can blame a wife if her husband strays, but it doesn't mean they blame the wife if her husband views CSA.

[Salacious Kitty]

I believe that they view CSA as the same as "regular" porn. They blame the wife for that. So, sadly, I think they blame the wife for viewing CSA as well. 

[65mickey]

4 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

So did Gil mention Josh by name? Because he if didn't, IMO, its a big leap to say he supports him or blames Anna.

Even Fundies have a spectrum. They can believe in patriarchy, but it doesn't mean they support men who view CSA. They can blame a wife if her husband strays, but it doesn't mean they blame the wife if her husband views CSA.

I agree unless he came out and said that Josh strayed into child sexual abuse and  porn and it was Anna's fault then I also think it is a leap to make that conclusion.  He might conclude that the man strayed with the ugly secretary and it was the wife's fault but i doubt that even Gill thinks that viewing CSA is the fault of the wife. At least I hope so.

[Salacious Kitty]

You're being optimistic. Remember, these IBLP idiots are Neanderthals. 

[AstridM]

5 hours ago, Salacious Kitty said:

I believe that they view CSA as the same as "regular" porn. They blame the wife for that. So, sadly, I think they blame the wife for viewing CSA as well. 

That’s exactly what Jessa said. 😡

[cereality]

How many people in fundie world do you think have heard AND believed the exact description of what Josh was looking at? I expect - JB Duggar knows bc he sat in on all of Josh's defense lawyer meetings + Jill/Derick Dillard and Joy/Austin bc they clearly did not believe JB's bullshit and went to court almost daily to hear/see it for themselves + Jinger/her husband who didn't attend trial but I think are worldly enough to get it. I mean other brothers attended the trial - the ones who are in their early 20s now and you could tell they were 100% in with JB's kool aid - their poor brother sitting their in leg shackles was just being persecuted, as all god loving people are blah blah. It was only Jill and Joy and their husbands who you could tell went in there NOT to confirm what JB was spewing but see the actual images, hear from the government lawyers etc.

Do you really think IBPL sat down and did a board meeting and said ok we have a problem, this family who was the face of our org and on TV, their oldest son is going to have a very public trial and he was looking at X - victims ages A to B, y# of videos; z # of still photos; in the worst of the videos THESE are the acts being done to the victims.

NO WAY. It's all FUNDIE SPEAK - Satan; the lord is testing Josh and the Duggar family; Josh is being persecuted but he's going to go spread the Lord's truth in prison blah blah. This is what JB was conveying to his family, IBPL, Gil and thus Gil and all the other fundies are conveying this to their families. Oh he was tempted by Satan who amongst us hasn't been blah blah. Uh no assholes he wasn't just jerking off bc he saw a woman in a bikini or watched a video of a woman willing working in the sex industry. 

So when you soft pedal it like that it's very easy to equate everything with regular porn and blame Satan/Anna/whomever.

[GeeGolly]

For decades society has tried to blame rape victims for being raped so that is not a reach but with Josh's crimes and indiscretions, I'm not so sure.

Josh was punished for molesting his sisters. Josh went to Jesus camp for the AM scandal. If they truly 100% believe it was the sisters' fault and Anna's fault then why was Josh the one who was punished?

 

[Heathen]

35 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

For decades society has tried to blame rape victims for being raped so that is not a reach but with Josh's crimes and indiscretions, I'm not so sure.

Josh was punished for molesting his sisters. Josh went to Jesus camp for the AM scandal. If they truly 100% believe it was the sisters' fault and Anna's fault then why was Josh the one who was punished?

 

I think it can be interpreted one of two ways: 

1. Josh sinned and must be punished, but it was the sisters' and Anna's faults in the first place. This is the "she was wearing a short skirt in public so it's her fault" concept. 

2. It was Josh's fault all along, but it's easier to blame someone else than to admit that Josh is an immoral, selfish predator.

Not exactly the same thing, but I had an aunt, now deceased, who was a drug addict and thief for decades, since she was a preteen in the 1960s. My grandmother, who was her mother, could never manage to cut the cord just like JB can't cut the cord to Josh. Very rarely, my grandmother would admit that L was a drug addict who would lie, cheat, steal, abuse, and manipulate anyone and everyone she could (including her children) to get what she wanted. Otherwise, it was always someone else's fault -- L's husband, L's married boyfriend, L's friends, etc. etc. etc. My grandmother, over decades, repeatedly bailed L out of jail, paid for her to go to rehab, gave her money, gave her a place to stay, even while L robbed her blind and put her literal physical safety at risk. 

Tl; dr -- it's damned hard, nearly impossible, for a parent to admit that their kid, whom they probably love but don't like, is beyond redemption. 

[andromeda331]

On 4/29/2023 at 9:15 PM, Heathen said:

Not exactly the same thing, but I had an aunt, now deceased, who was a drug addict and thief for decades, since she was a preteen in the 1960s. My grandmother, who was her mother, could never manage to cut the cord just like JB can't cut the cord to Josh. Very rarely, my grandmother would admit that L was a drug addict who would lie, cheat, steal, abuse, and manipulate anyone and everyone she could (including her children) to get what she wanted. Otherwise, it was always someone else's fault -- L's husband, L's married boyfriend, L's friends, etc. etc. etc. My grandmother, over decades, repeatedly bailed L out of jail, paid for her to go to rehab, gave her money, gave her a place to stay, even while L robbed her blind and put her literal physical safety at risk. 

Tl; dr -- it's damned hard, nearly impossible, for a parent to admit that their kid, whom they probably love but don't like, is beyond redemption. 

I had a great aunt who always stole from her parents. They always blamed it on her husband. While he was a controlling asshole and theif who was happy to take all that he could get from anyone. I don't think it was all him. Of course, they knew her before her marriage and I didn't but I find it hard to believe she'd be so okay with stealing from her parents'. It was always something we had to let go because if anyone said anything she'd take off and they'd never see her again or their grandchildren. They loved her and my mom loved her aunt. I always hated it because we were all letting her get away with stealing and from two of the best people in the world. The thing was they were right. My great aunt decided to find her father's will and was pissed that she wasn't getting as much as she thought she deserved. She told him off, took what was in the will and left.  She wouldn't see him again and all and only one of her kids chose to still see his grandpa but the rest took her side and he never saw them again. Some relatives just suck. 

 

 

[iluvobx]

On 4/28/2023 at 3:52 PM, Salacious Kitty said:

I believe that they view CSA as the same as "regular" porn. They blame the wife for that. So, sadly, I think they blame the wife for viewing CSA as well. 

His whole view and sermon is blaming the WIFE or Mom for anything wrong that a man does!  His whole sermon was aimed at Anna, Ginger & Jill Duggar and any woman that thinks for themself. 

Gil has protected child abusers (both physical & sexual).  Gil is on the board of this cult.  Please do the research on him and this cult.  Gil is not innocent.  

[iluvobx]

On 4/29/2023 at 10:18 PM, GeeGolly said:

For decades society has tried to blame rape victims for being raped so that is not a reach but with Josh's crimes and indiscretions, I'm not so sure.

Josh was punished for molesting his sisters. Josh went to Jesus camp for the AM scandal. If they truly 100% believe it was the sisters' fault and Anna's fault then why was Josh the one who was punished?

 

Josh was not punished.  The truth is out there,  He was sent to a friend, who had him work for him doing manual labor.  That is NOT punishment.  Punishment would have been for him to go to prison for what he did to his sisters and to get the treatment he needed.  The sad truth is, you cannot rehabilitate a sex offender.  How many of you know that in one of the videos a baby was actually murdered?!  He was in possession of that video.  If you think I am lying about that, go back to the trail transcripts, look at what was presented, and then you will see that one of them is a "snuff" video.  This is how sick he really is and Gill, Jim Bob and the whole cult are pushing the shit that he is just being tested and he is innocent.  This is a man that should have been put away for life.  Yet, Gil blames Anna and any woman because Josh has a penis between his legs, thus he has no fault.

 

Edited May 1, 2023 by iluvobx
typo

[Meow Mix]

All I will say about this is that if this sermon has gotten back to UpTV execs that they are very glad they dumped them when they did.  While UpTV is conservative, they seem to want to appear mainstream enough to pull in advertisers and more moderate viewers.  Even a hint that Gil is excusing what the felon did or trying to equate it to an affair between consenting adults would have the execs running for cover.

[65mickey]

I didn't hear his talk or sermon or whatever it was. I just read what was posted here or on reddit. The only thing that I heard was Gil trying to excuse men who cheat on their beautiful wives with an ugly secretary because the wife probably didn't give the man enough attention or respect. When did he say or imply that Josh Duggar was innocent of the crime of watching child sexual abuse and that what Josh did was just watching porn which by the must be Anna's fault?  Did he bring this up in his sermon or has he written or spoken about men who watch CSA?   What Josh did was all on him and I agree that he should be put away for life. 

 

[Salacious Kitty]

16 minutes ago, 65mickey said:

I didn't hear his talk or sermon or whatever it was. I just read what was posted here or on reddit. The only thing that I heard was Gil trying to excuse men who cheat on their beautiful wives with an ugly secretary because the wife probably didn't give the man enough attention or respect. When did he say or imply that Josh Duggar was innocent of the crime of watching child sexual abuse and that what Josh did was just watching porn which by the must be Anna's fault?  Did he bring this up in his sermon or has he written or spoken about men who watch CSA?   What Josh did was all on him and I agree that he should be put away for life. 

 

I believe that was another part of the sermon that later vanished when the IBLP took the post down. All that was saved seems to be the c!ip of Gil blaming the pretty wife for not being her husband's cheerleader. 

Edited May 3, 2023 by Salacious Kitty

[Jeanne222]

3 hours ago, Salacious Kitty said:

I believe that was another part of the sermon that later vanished when the IBLP took the post down. All that was saved seems to be the c!ip of Gil blaming the pretty wife for not being her husband's cheerleader. 

Your right.  I read that part was taken down but...I think somebody here saved it.  Might look back a few pages.

[iluvobx]

I believe that someone at Reddick still has it and I know that WOACB (Without a Crystal Ball) has it also.  As for Josh, you have to go way back on that.  He has always defended Josh, and was also a part of Josh's "confession".  He knew about Josh from the get-go.  Gil Bates is high up in the cult, higher than Jim Boob because Gil is on the board and has been on the board.

[GeeGolly]

Its so odd that Gil supports Josh.

Once he was found guilty there seemed to be three camps - he's innocent, he's partially guilty and he's guilty. IMO, Anna is a party of one in the innocence camp. I think JB&M, Jana and Laura, BFF Peacanman and Hilary are in the partially guilty camp and Jill, Jessa, Jinger, Joy and some brothers are in the guilty camp.

None of the above (minus Anna) ever blamed anyone but Josh. Crazy that Gil, who isn't even close with the family, nor (publicly) supported them or Josh during the court case, is now using Josh as an example of what happens when a wife doesn't fulfill her Fundy wifely duties.

Why even mention Josh at all? Even his family knows mentioning him is toxic.

 

[Salacious Kitty]

5 hours ago, iluvobx said:

I believe that someone at Reddick still has it and I know that WOACB (Without a Crystal Ball) has it also.  As for Josh, you have to go way back on that.  He has always defended Josh, and was also a part of Josh's "confession".  He knew about Josh from the get-go.  Gil Bates is high up in the cult, higher than Jim Boob because Gil is on the board and has been on the board.

WOACB only has the clip about the bad wife. She talked about Anna, but didn't show that part of the sermon. I think she got the clip from Reddit, but I do think she watched the entire sermon before the IBLP took it down.

Edited May 3, 2023 by Salacious Kitty

[SMama]

1 hour ago, GeeGolly said:

Its so odd that Gil supports Josh.

Once he was found guilty there seemed to be three camps - he's innocent, he's partially guilty and he's guilty. IMO, Anna is a party of one in the innocence camp. I think JB&M, Jana and Laura, BFF Peacanman and Hilary are in the partially guilty camp and Jill, Jessa, Jinger, Joy and some brothers are in the guilty camp.

None of the above (minus Anna) ever blamed anyone but Josh. Crazy that Gil, who isn't even close with the family, nor (publicly) supported them or Josh during the court case, is now using Josh as an example of what happens when a wife doesn't fulfill her Fundy wifely duties.

Why even mention Josh at all? Even his family knows mentioning him is toxic.

 

How can anyone think evil incarnate is partially responsible? I’m not sure I even understand what that means. 
 

Definitely didn’t have Gil defending the FF by name on my bingo card. Then after a few seconds I was no longer surprised because this is who they are. Misogynistic, judgmental, abusive assholes, all in the name of their so called god. 

[GeeGolly]

16 minutes ago, SMama said:

How can anyone think evil incarnate is partially responsible? I’m not sure I even understand what that means. 
 

Definitely didn’t have Gil defending the FF by name on my bingo card. Then after a few seconds I was no longer surprised because this is who they are. Misogynistic, judgmental, abusive assholes, all in the name of their so called god. 

Partially guilty meaning Josh was downloading XXX porn, but wasn't specifically looking for CSA.

[BetyBee]

50 minutes ago, SMama said:

How can anyone think evil incarnate is partially responsible? I’m not sure I even understand what that means. 
 

Definitely didn’t have Gil defending the FF by name on my bingo card. Then after a few seconds I was no longer surprised because this is who they are. Misogynistic, judgmental, abusive assholes, all in the name of their so called god. 

I notice that Gil hasn't pushed for any Duggar marriages with his offspring. I never thought the families were as close as TLC wanted us to believe. I wonder if he kept his little ones away from the Duggar prince?

[AstridM]

1 hour ago, GeeGolly said:

Partially guilty meaning Josh was downloading XXX porn, but wasn't specifically looking for CSA.

If he wanted regular adult porn, he would’ve just gone to Porn Hub. 

[Salacious Kitty]

2 minutes ago, AstridM said:

If he wanted regular adult porn, he would’ve just gone to Porn Hub. 

But he still would have needed the Linux partition to avoid detection from Covenant Eyes. 

[AstridM]

1 minute ago, Salacious Kitty said:

But he still would have needed the Linux partition to avoid detection from Covenant Eyes. 

Or just a simple VPN? I’m not sure. 

[GeeGolly]

1 hour ago, AstridM said:

If he wanted regular adult porn, he would’ve just gone to Porn Hub. 

I don't think he wanted regular porn at all. Maybe he did want CSA, but even if he didn't I don't think the porn Josh was looking for is on regular sites.

[Jeanne222]

Hummm. I wonder if Gil could have been sending a message to Kelly Jo!

She’s been gone a lot. Traveling and modeling at BSB. 

Maybe he likes her home praising him. 

[iluvobx]

17 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

I don't think he wanted regular porn at all. Maybe he did want CSA, but even if he didn't I don't think the porn Josh was looking for is on regular sites.

He was on the dark web watching.  What I gathered from the trial, it is a very very bad site.

 

[ginger90]

[BitterApple]

Wow, Kelly, just wow. She sends Layla a box of toys, clothes and makeup practically every week, but can't remember to get Isaiah a gift? New grads really only want money, so it's not like she had to spend all day trekking around the mall. Just write a check and stick it in a card. How difficult is that? 

[zenme]

You know why she forgot? Because graduations are not important to her.  The moron.

[Jeanne222]

They forgot their son’s graduation??  Isn’t he home schooled and KJ the teacher?

Lordy!

[ginger90]

[ginger90]

Looks like they didn’t think too much about the graduation:

[Salacious Kitty]

He got the one year bible study certificate. Not like he toiled for 4 years, even at Clown College. 

[AstridM]

1 hour ago, ginger90 said:

Looks like they didn’t think too much about the graduation:

It’s all about her, isn’t it? 

[Heathen]

1 hour ago, Salacious Kitty said:

He got the one year bible study certificate. Not like he toiled for 4 years, even at Clown College. 

Hell, he probably didn't toil at all. How hard could Clown College possibly be? 

I see Isaiah inherited the Trace face. I also see from whom he inherited it. 

[BetyBee]

I forgot there even is an Isaiah! Sounds like KellyJo did too!

[GeeGolly]

Wow, way to plaster your forgotten kid all over the internet Kelly. It sure is something we never needed to know. A simple Happy Graduation!, with a picture would have worked just fine. (asshole)

[AstridM]

6 hours ago, Heathen said:

Hell, he probably didn't toil at all. How hard could Clown College possibly be? 

I see Isaiah inherited the Trace face. I also see from whom he inherited it. 

They’re all so inbred looking. 

[Heathen]

48 minutes ago, AstridM said:

They’re all so inbred looking. 

Especially with that fake I'm-trying-so-hard shit-eating grin on Kelly. 

[ranchgirl]

Poor guy.  Kelly didn't lift one finger for her son's graduation. She is so checked out on being a mom.  I feel so badly for Callie.  I hope one of her sisters is looking out for her.  

[ginger90]

Pulling on the clothes again. Why does this bug me? I haven’t a clue! 🤣

[Heathen]

I might dislike Kelly less if she didn't always have that stupid, fake shit-eating grin on her face. Wait, no -- I wouldn't. But at least if she didn't do that all the time, the sight of her face might not make me want to slap it off her. 

Carlin, since we know you read here -- have Josie give your mother a better color shade. Her hair looks fried and over processed, and it's too dark for her now. She also needs to brush it before a photo shoot. 

 

Signed, Catty Heathen 

[AstridM]

26 minutes ago, Heathen said:

I might dislike Kelly less if she didn't always have that stupid, fake shit-eating grin on her face. Wait, no -- I wouldn't. But at least if she didn't do that all the time, the sight of her face might not make me want to slap it off her. 

Carlin, since we know you read here -- have Josie give your mother a better color shade. Her hair looks fried and over processed, and it's too dark for her now. She also needs to brush it before a photo shoot. 

 

Signed, Catty Heathen 

And WTF is going on with her legs in the first picture? Yikes. 

[Absolom]

She's trying to do coy, teenage poses and faces as a woman in her 50s who looks every one of her years and it's a massive fail.