S05.E04: Livin' La Vida Housewife

[glowbug]

Just a heads up.  My DVR says the First Look for the next episode is scheduled to air at 8:38 pm on Saturday (12/06).

[charming]

Kyle, sis, if you want Portia to be an actress, please hire a better coach. Her "Mom's these days" delivery while looking at the camera was flat and fake.

 

Oh God. I'm already dreading the millions of posts analyzing Portia's 2 minutes of screentime.

[zoeysmom]

Kyle, sis, if you want Portia to be an actress, please hire a better coach. Her "Mom's these days" delivery while looking at the camera was flat and fake.

 

Oh God. I'm already dreading the millions of posts analyzing Portia's 2 minutes of screentime.

Portia will learn the hard lesson of being upstaged-an under aged model getting arrested at 4 am is far more screen worthy than anything coming out of Portia's mouth.

[hoodooznoodooz]

For some reason I liked seeing Kyle brush her eyebrows.

Is it just me or are each of them wearing tacky, dated, Carmela Soprano dresses in the intro? And did Lisa V always have such wide hips?

[Tara Ariano]

The two Lisas connect when Lisa Vanderpump receives an honor in Palm Springs, Cal. Meanwhile, Kyle flies to Spain for a family trip and basks on a private yacht. Yolanda joins in the fun, until she receives a phone call relating terrible news.

[Wings]

The terrible news could be that Gigi lost a modeling gig because she gained some weight and didn't fit into the clothes.  Not sure what size they have to be, googling did not bring that up.  Size zero? size 2?  .  

[ScoobieDoobs]

Man, Kyle sure likes to say Majorca a lot, doesn't she? Maybe she thinks it makes her sound sophisticated? Why is it all the Richards sisters (Kathy included) seem like trash-bag hicks no matter how much money they have? Well, maybe that's a wee bit harsh, but none of them ever seem sophisticated no matter how hard they try. And Kyle always tries pretty fuckin' hard.

Edited December 9, 2014 by ScoobieDoobs

[tulip555]

Man, Kyle sure likes to say Majorca a lot, doesn't she? Maybe she thinks it makes her sound sophisticated? Why is it all the Richards sisters (Kathy included) seem like trash-bag hicks no matter how money they have? Well, maybe that's a wee bit harsh, but none of them ever seem sophisticated no matter how hard they try. And Kyle always tries pretty fuckin' hard.

I so love your description of the sisters....right on the money!

[tulip555]

Man, Kyle sure likes to say Majorca a lot, doesn't she? Maybe she thinks it makes her sound sophisticated? Why is it all the Richards sisters (Kathy included) seem like trash-bag hicks no matter how money they have? Well, maybe that's a wee bit harsh, but none of them ever seem sophisticated no matter how hard they try. And Kyle always tries pretty fuckin' hard.

I think you've absolutely hit the nail on the head

[Scottish Girl]

I just read "House of Hilton," so I can safely say... because they are trash-bag hicks.

[motorcitymom65]

I'm going to guess that Ken and Lisa just spent more than $500 on that damn dog's clothes.  

[BluishGreen]

Man, Kyle sure likes to say Majorca a lot, doesn't she? Maybe she thinks it makes her sound sophisticated? Why is it all the Richards sisters (Kathy included) seem like trash-bag hicks no matter how much money they have? Well, maybe that's a wee bit harsh, but none of them ever seem sophisticated no matter how hard they try. And Kyle always tries pretty fuckin' hard.

Wow, remind me not to tell you about my trip to Barcelona last year...

[ScoobieDoobs]

Nope don't tell me -- only wanna hear bout Majorca, Majorca, Majorca.  Cuz I'm Kyle & now me thinks me sooooo Klassy.

[motorcitymom65]

Maybe it's because I have watched too many of these ho'wives vacation, but it is nice to see folks take beautiful vacations and actually appreciate the luxury they are enjoying. Take in the scenery, enjoy the local folks and their traditions and not act like idiots the entire time. 

[helloagain]

So Brandi is renting a house and uprooting her kids on the yearly but buys a $100k car? Yep, I would say her priorities are straight.

[WireWrap]

I'm going to guess that Ken and Lisa just spent more than $500 on that damn dog's clothes.  

Dog clothes like that do not come cheap! I wonder if Giggy pouts when he doesn't get the outfit he likes? LOL

Edited December 10, 2014 by WireWrap

[ScoobieDoobs]

Take in the scenery, enjoy the local folks and their traditions and not act like idiots the entire time.

 

 

Yeah, how many times I have we seen 'em in beautiful locations & they completely ignore how gorg their surroundings are, while they're yelling & screaming & sniping at each other?  Sigh, I miss the yelling & screaming & ridiculous petty sniping.  Sniff.  They can't all get along.  It's just too icky nice.  Feh.  Hate it.

[Straycat80]

So far the newbie Eileen is boring. She seems to be trying too hard to be interesting and playing to the cameras. And acting bitchy to her husband is not going to win her any brownie points with me.

I felt bad for Yo when she got the news of her daughters DUI. I know your first worry is that your kid is ok but I hope her next thought was did her daughter hurt anyone due to her bad decision.

[vrocotamy]

Maybe it's because I have watched too many of these ho'wives vacation, but it is nice to see folks take beautiful vacations and actually appreciate the luxury they are enjoying. Take in the scenery, enjoy the local folks and their traditions and not act like idiots the entire time. 

 

I have to agree this Ho'Wife vacation was relatively inoffensive, perhaps because Kyle and Yolanda seem to actually appreciate and respect the place they're visiting, its history and its people. Although I've thought of the Balearic Islands (Mallorca, Ibiza, etc.) as analogous, for Northern Europeans, to what Cancun and the Bahamas are for Americans, Palma de Mallorca - the city Kyle and Yolanda walked around - actually offers over a thousand years of preserved architectural history, dating back to the Moorish period (the things you learn from RHOBH)! After watching the RHONJ vacation to Italy a few years ago, I've avoided the Ho'Wives' European vacations. They mostly just piss away the cultural/educational opportunities avoided by trips to Europe so blatantly and arrogantly. I'm lucky enough to have been to Europe a few times - mostly through educational opportunities (grants, exchanges, etc.) - and I've packed my itinerary with historical sites, museums, self-guided walking tours, natural beauty, etc. Therefore, the Housewives' travel immaturity and irresponsibility offends me more personally than anything else that happens on camera. JMO.

 

Otherwise...this episode was a SNOOZE. I get the producers probably thought the overkill on drama and vindictiveness last season turned off viewers, but you need to have a plot. This isn't Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous. I actually had a really long, bitchy post that I accidentally deleted and wasn't auto-saved about how Lisa hasn't really done anything for the gay community other than sell us over-priced drinks and bring her gay associates on television and how screwed-up Brandi, her fashions, and her "gay accessories" are. I'll put it back at some point.

Edited December 10, 2014 by vrocotamy

[izabella]

That puppy clothing store cracked me up.  Fifi of Rodeo?  Racks and racks full of rich dog outfits!  LoL.

[LotusFlower]

So Brandi is renting a house and uprooting her kids on the yearly but buys a $100k car? Yep, I would say her priorities are straight.

I don't begrudge anyone's wealth or how they spend it, even reality stars (well....), but don't complain about how your ex is screwing you financially and how it's affecting your sons, and then go out and buy a "six figure" car.

[breezy424]

Well....I enjoyed the episode.  Only a small amount of bitchiness, some dealing with real emotions, and getting to see what money can buy you.  Sorry but I don't see Kyle overstating 'Majorca'.  I saw a person who was genuinely excited about a vacation.  Hm, I guess Portia wasn't 'bratty' because if she was we would have seen it.  I also like Kyle's daughters comments.  They got that they were fortunate.  Refreshing.  Kyle is dressing better and she's definitely feeling better about her body.  Though that's hard with people like Yolanda around.  She didn't constantly have a towel wrapped around her or a mumu (not sure how to spell that) like in past episodes.  Oh, I don't judge on what they sight see.  They're filming a show - producers are in charge.

 

It was also refreshing to see Yolanda have 'real' feelings.  Children can screw up.  It's tough.  It's extremely heartbreaking but the most important thing was that there was no accident and no one got hurt. 

 

What?  No comments about Giggy's shopping spree.  Why aren't they buying him doggy clothes at Target?  I'll leave it at that.  Ken kissing Giggy was the most nauseating moment on the show.

 

And speaking of Lisa V.  Wow.  The walk of fame in Palm Springs?  How D list.

 

Brandi - snoozefest.  Can't wait till she's gone.  Never liked her.  Never will.  She spends a hundred g's on a car.  Maybe they can live in the car when the next lease is up.  And she was trying way to hard on WWHL.  She's trash.  Always will be.

 

Kimberly is gorgeous even when she's sick in bed.  I did like that scene and there's few I like with Kim.  But she is genuinely happy about Brooke getting married.  Not sure of the dress she picked.  I never would have picked it.  I'm being nice.

 

I like Lisa R.  Eileen,  hm.  Not too sure but I'm trying to keep an open mind.  Never watched the soaps she's been on. 

[Straycat80]

Brandi was just on Miss Andy's show. She said she is leasing the car.

[motorcitymom65]

So Brandi is renting a house and uprooting her kids on the yearly but buys a $100k car? Yep, I would say her priorities are straight.

A big part of Brandi's pride and motivation seems to come from throwing her supposed success in Eddie's face. Unless I haven't been paying proper attention, it would seem that all of Brandi's success basically came to her because Eddie was fucking around on her. Would we even know who she was were that not the case?

[cooksdelight]

I wonder why Yolonda allowed the daughter's DUI to be included as a storyline? Other kids (Kim's) have had misfortunes and it was never even hinted at. It's not a producer's decision, is it, to put something like that in the show?

[motorcitymom65]

I wonder why Yolonda allowed the daughter's DUI to be included as a storyline? Other kids (Kim's) have had misfortunes and it was never even hinted at. It's not a producer's decision, is it, to put something like that in the show?

I think it was because it happened while they were filming. Actually getting the call from David while on camera was just basically unfortunate for Yo.

[Neeners]

A few quick things:

 

1. Brandi's "I Dream of Jeannie" look is a big miss with me.
2. I can't even imagine being able to spend a week on that yacht; it looked amazing.
3. I really like the two new ladies and think they are a nice addition to this season.  (Now I'm wondering what they're going to do to make me regret saying this...)

[WireWrap]

Brandi was just on Miss Andy's show. She said she is leasing the car.

There was a preview that aired before the season began where Brandi shows off her new car, as did Lisa V, Lisa R and Kyle. She never said it was leased then or on the episode tonight. Maybe she is just saying it was leased because of what she said on last weeks episode, about putting money away for her boy's college funds or maybe it really is. She lied 1 way or another though, either on the episode tonight or on WWHL! LOL

 

 

ETA I knew there was a video of Brandi and her new SUV on Bravo. Here is the link to it. No where does she mention buying or leasing the car/suv but calls it a "new member of the family" LOL (insert eye roll)  http://www.bravotv.com/the-real-housewives-of-beverly-hills/videos/playlist?clip=2827529

Edited December 10, 2014 by WireWrap

[breezy424]

Thanks StrayCat for the info on the lease.  When she was talking (trying to justify) that I was in the kitchen and it wasn't worth my while rewinding the DVR.  Of course, given Brandi's income and her desire to buy a home, the car is not justify.  And hearing that she got it through some brokerage (sorry, didn't hear the whole name), I think it's probable that it's not a 'new' SUV.  A lot of expensive cars are re leased by these brokerages.  A new vehicle comes from a car dealership.   And still, it's going to be expensive to lease.  A lease is still determined by the value or selling price of a car less a down payment (monthly payment is determined from that over the lease period with a buyout option at the end of the lease).  In any case, if she wanted a luxury SUV, she could have gotten one a lot cheaper.  It's all about image to the masses cause most people aren't going to see your house.

[mbaywife123]

Brandi was on WWHL and stated that her car is a lease. Go buy a reliable used car with low mileage you dumb ass or quit singing the "poor me" bullshit. I swear that people today have no personal accountability, it's always someone else's fault that their life isn't the way they want it to be. Loved seeing Spain and the yacht ,just dreamy. Yolanda has to face a real life problem just like a lot of other people have. Ken and Lisa buying dog clothes, rich people problems indeed! Don't' have any opinion about Lisa R. or Eileen yet.

[phoenix780]

This was a super-fun episode, imho.  Right up until Brandi took delivery of a car bragging about her big-ass check- and talked about rolling up to her ex's house in it.  I mean, as others have said if you want to get a nice car- leased or otherwise- go for it.  But don't show it off, talk about it on tv like you bought it, and then complain about lawyers and your ex seeking repayment of child/spousal support.  I'd be trying to figure out what she's hiding, too, if she were taking my money and pulling that crap.

 

Also, I could do without any of the "I'm just a single mom hustlin' to make it in The Hills" crap after this point.  

 

I said it last week, I'll say again- the show is much better when they don't force them to attend each other's bullshit events.  There's so much more fun, even with Brandi up until her nonsense with the car.  I'm sure it will get swallowed up with drama later- which will probably be enjoyably refreshing, 'cause I like a bit of that.  But man.  The real-life drama they're pulling in is actually enough for me. 

 

I'm surprised they missed a "Below Deck" crossover opportunity.

 

It was also refreshing to see Yolanda have 'real' feelings.

 

I think she's so much better this way, where there are cracks in her facade and it's only 50% "I love David."  

[ScoobieDoobs]

Did anyone really think Brandi could afford to buy the 100 thou caar?  No fuckin' way.  Of course, it's a lease.  But she said in passing on WWHL she put 3 thou down & pays a certain amount a month (which she didn't divulge).  Something doesn't compute.  My bullshit radar detector is pingin' like crazy.  This reminds me of when penniless Slade gave Gretchie-poo a Rolls for her birthday.  We ain't gettin' the whole story here.  Fuck, whenever Brandi opens her trap, it just bullshit, bullshit & more bullshit.

 

Anyone like Kim's old lady mother-of-the bride dress?  Now where da fuck is Kathy when they need huh?  Hey, I'll fuckin' say it -- oh you're not really wearing that, are you?

[ScoobieDoobs]

What is with Yo & her constantly saying her kids are a better version of her?  I've never heard a parent describe his/her kids this way.  Seems strange to me.  She's said it about 800 times so far this season.

[MrsSmartyPants]

I am SO over Kyle's "humble beginnings" bullshit.

It just comes across as so disingenuous.

- "When Mauricio and I were first married, we were so broke that we made the kids lie so we wouldn't have to buy airline tickets".

- "When I was 14 I wasn't spending time in Europe, I was working ... Bringing home the bacon".

STFU. No seriously. Shut the fuck up.

The fact that you grew up in Beverly Hills (season 1 "this is my town") negates your rags to riches attempt at a relatable storyline.

I don't watch this shit to be pandered to, I watch it to see an excess that I will never attain ... Even though I'd been to Spain before my quinceañera and never carried my son on a flight (he always got his own seat - even as an infant) - so annoying with the bullshit "humble brag".

Fyi - worried about Porscha becoming a brat? Too late.

[LotusFlower]

What is with Yo & her constantly saying her kids are a better version of her?  I've never heard a parent describe his/her kids this way.  Seems strange to me.  She's said it about 800 times so far this season.

i think its totally within character for Yo - who's a bit of a narcissist, but doesn't know it. But I also think she can sometimes be very genuine, so saying "my kids are a better version of me" is because she's genuinely proud of them, but also kind of bragging. Both things going on.

Of course I've always been of the belief that kids + reality tv = bad idea, cuz when you brag about them or feature them on your show because they're just so fabulous, what happens when they're not so fabulous, as Yolanda is about to find out.

[mbaywife123]

From what was posted on TWOP I think I remember that Kyle grew up in El Centro CA, not Beverly Hills.

[MrsSmartyPants]

From what was posted on TWOP I think I remember that Kyle grew up in El Centro CA, not Beverly Hills.

Oh! I don't remember that, I'm going off her Season 3 intro - but will redact if I'm wrong :-)

http://youtu.be/Tkf65CwHWms

[mbaywife123]

Oh! I don't remember that, I'm going off her Season 3 intro - but will redact if I'm wrong :-) http://youtu.be/Tkf65CwHWms

No worries, for some reason this is stuck I my brain from TWOP. I think their background stories change as the wind blows, but someone there found her high school yearbook info.

[phoenix780]

The fun thing about Yolanda and her kids for me is her conversation with Kyle about trusting in your job as a parent (as opposed to just trusting the kid).  Her daughter's DUI must really have hurt her, then, since it's ultimately an indictment of the job she did...right?

[vrocotamy]

From what was posted on TWOP I think I remember that Kyle grew up in El Centro CA, not Beverly Hills.

 

Who knows, maybe Kyle and Kim lived in El Centro at some point, briefly. Or one of their parents did. On Wikipedia it claims that Kim graduated from Imperial High School (for Imperial County) in 1983. But all this contradicts what is reported about the Richards family from House of Hilton, and the reliable sources therein. Kathy, Kim, their mother Big Kathy, and their stepfather Ken Richards - along with one of Big Kathy's brothers, Chuck Dugan, and his wife; Kathy's ex-SIL Adele Avanzino, and Big Kathy's mother - all moved to Los Angeles from suburban Nassau County, NY (Long Island) in the late 1960s. Ken and Big Kathy Dugan Avanzino Richards (at this point) lived in a house on the Sherman Oaks side of Bel-Air, which I understand to be a bit cheaper. I believe Kim and Kathy were educated on-set when younger and then attended a private high school in the Valley that basically specialized in pushing through kids in the entertainment industry with erratic schedules to graduation. So, in fact, Kyle and Kim are not from Beverly Hills. But it doesn't really matter, since Beverly Hills is used here as a shorthand for all of wealthy West LA. Lots of Beverly Hills - the southern flats portion - is in fact not so wealthy, and the average median income of the town is not exorbitantly high as a result.

 

None of the HWs live in Beverly Hills proper. Lisa V. and Adrienne lived in Beverly Park, a gated community above Beverly Hills with a Beverly Hills zip code, but in Los Angeles proper. Kyle lives in Bel-Air (both houses), where Taylor also lived.  Kim lived in Westlake Village at the beginning of the show, a suburb to the west of LA, and now lives somewhere on the southern rim of the Valley. Brandi, I believe, lives, at the border of Bel-Air, Encino, and Sherman Oaks. Camille and Yolanda live in Malibu.

Edited December 10, 2014 by vrocotamy

[zoeysmom]

From what was posted on TWOP I think I remember that Kyle grew up in El Centro CA, not Beverly Hills.

Kyle was born and raised in LA near.  When Brooke was born Kim lived in El Centro.  Kyle worked in LA pretty much until she got pregnant with Farrah.  Big Kathy moved to Palm Desert which is quite a hike from El Centro.  I think maybe there is some cross-over between the two sisters and geography.

[mbaywife123]

Kyle was born and raised in LA near.  When Brooke was born Kim lived in El Centro.  Kyle worked in LA pretty much until she got pregnant with Farrah.  Big Kathy moved to Palm Desert which is quite a hike from El Centro.  I think maybe there is some cross-over between the two sisters and geography.

Thanks zoeysmom, I knew I remembered something about El Centro, guess I had the wrong sister.

[ScoobieDoobs]

So did we see how Ms I-Grew-Up-Dirt-Poor-But-Now-I'm-a-Fancy-Pants-with-Shittyass-Taste & her family flew to Europe?  I saw them prepping & I saw the trip, but I missed when they were flying there.  Did they show it?

 

Sheesh, I'd be mortified to have my mother be talking about a DUI arrest on TV at any age -- let alone at 17.  And yet Yo was perfectly fine & dandy incorporating this as a storyline.  WTF?

[phoenix780]

Sheesh, I'd be mortified to have my mother be talking about a DUI arrest on TV at any age -- let alone at 17.  And yet Yo was perfectly fine & dandy incorporating this as a storyline.  WTF?

 

Shouldn't she be mortified?  

 

Normally I say leave the kids and their misfortunes out, but this is a pretty serious bad choice.  I'm all for a bit of public shaming if it could help her learn there are consequences to actions way beyond what you may anticipate.

 

After watching Brandi on WWHL I'm not convinced it's a lease, at least not in the way I understand that where you keep it for a certain number of months.  She said she put money down and is paying what she can until she can afford it.  To me that sounds like a financed purchase and she's paying on a loan that may have flexible payments, or a balloon payment at some point.  Hard to tell with her, though.  Her ability to communicate about legal concepts isn't the strongest, historically.

[ScoobieDoobs]

Shouldn't she be mortified? 

Normally I say leave the kids and their misfortunes out, but this is a pretty serious bad choice.

 

 

She's 17 & she seems like a nice well-behaved girl otherwise.  Is discussing the DUI on the show a way to shame her further?  Not something I'd do as a parent.  Seems rather harsh to me.  And I think it's a poor choice for Yo to do this.  I wonder if she's too self-absorbed to see this or if she's feeling guilty she didn't do her job as a parent to drill it into the girl's head not to drink & drive.  Maybe she was too busy livin' the good life to do dat.

 

Honestly, Yo is not impressing me much this season.  Next up she's taking care of her seriously ill mother for a week.  And then thinking she's done her part to care for her by leaving her after a fuckin' week.  Ooh, wow, Yo, you devoted a whole week to care for your seriously ill mother.  Um, BFD!!!  So then she casually goes back to her luxe life.  You're really givin' me an ick feeling, Yo.

Edited December 10, 2014 by ScoobieDoobs

[vrocotamy]

Kyle was born and raised in LA near. When Brooke was born Kim lived in El Centro. Kyle worked in LA pretty much until she got pregnant with Farrah. Big Kathy moved to Palm Desert which is quite a hike from El Centro. I think maybe there is some cross-over between the two sisters and geography.

I do have to ask, if you know, what on God's green earth Kim was doing living in El Centro - a truck stop and a courthouse surrounded by lettuce fields - as the young bride with a roving eye of supermarket heir Monty Brinson. Did she have a stint as a migrant farmworker after the box office failure of Tuff Turf, her cinematic swansong? That woman defies comprehension!

Edited December 10, 2014 by vrocotamy

[MrsSmartyPants]

Thanks everyone!

I wont change my post because then it will make the subsequent posts look out of place - but I do appreciate the clarification.

So while I stand corrected and concede that they didn't grow up IN 90210 - I am not buying the broke upbringing that she's trying so hard to pass off, either.

Kyle has been my favorite since day one - her house has always been the most beautiful, to me. The one I would choose to live in if ever given the chance.

I always thought she was the realest of the entire cast - until this season.

It just comes across as disingenuous, like it's her shtick for this season in an attempt to be relatable ... An everywoman.

In other news, what ever happened to her store?

[WhoaWhoKnew]

Kyle mentioned having a Porsche as a teenager in an earlier season. Kim was bringing in a lot of money for the family throughout her childhood and Kyle married a rich man at 18. She has never been broke. At least not real people broke.

Edited December 10, 2014 by WhoaWhoKnew

[ScoobieDoobs]

It just comes across as disingenuous, like it's her shtick for this season in an attempt to be relatable ... An everywoman.

 

 

I absolutely agree with you bout Kyle on this point, but there's a few other things going on.  It particularly highlights her insecurities -- about her background & about having money/wealth in general.  And it's very much comparative -- especially where she has been all her life -- in LA.  Look, I honestly can't blame Kyle bout being insecure over this stuff.  The wealth among some in LA is really staggering & exceptionally imposing.  And it's enough to make anyone who grew up -- even relatively upper middle class -- to feel as if they were "deprived".

 

OK, don't get me wrong cuz I'm hardly the one to spread Kyle luv -- ugh, that thought makes me kinda nauseous.  But I do understand & relate to her at times -- which yes, given how I mostly detest her & her non-stop phoniness, this surprises me greatly.  In her scenes this ep with Portia, it struck me what a good mom she is.  She just is.  Portia is a typically bratty 6 year old & Kyle has her under control -- totally.  I liked it.  Maybe cuz I rarely see it -- certainly not on a Housewives show.

 

I also related to Kyle when she just didn't wanna dive off that yacht.  Honestly, I wouldn't be thrilled about it either.  I knew what she was thinkin' & I didn't blame her one bit for not wanting to.  First off, she's gotta spend at least an hour (probably more) dryin' that hair off, and then maybe she's not that strong a swimmer & just didn't like the idea of jumping off the yacht, which looked like a fairly high jump.  But Kyle is tough, I'll give her that.  And she doesn't like to be perceived as weak in any way.  So I give her credit for making that jump, even tho she clearly didn't want to & really didn't have to.

Edited December 10, 2014 by ScoobieDoobs

[MsTree]

Loved the two Lisas shopping together. Mutual respect and interesting conversation coupled with a few laughs...more of this please!