Jana and Stephen: Slow and Steady Gets the Best Wedding

[Absolom]

Was it John David's?  I remember they did something weird at his.  

[crazy8s]

3 hours ago, Gemma Violet said:

I don't remember.  So many of them seem to blend together in my mind.  I do remember the purpose of the repelling was to hand over the wedding rings. 

I think it was a Josiah prank at Joe and Kendra's wedding. He pretended he couldn't find the ring and then the stunt with the guy reppelling in with the rings.

 

Edited January 9 by crazy8s

[ranchgirl]

I also think it was Joe's wedding to Kendra.  Josiah was the one who did it.  

I think it was Josh's wedding when John David left the stage to go get the ring.  He jumped off the stage and ran up the aisle.  

At my children's weddings (a son and a daughter) they both had the wedding party announced to start the reception.  They just walked in when announced and they could do something or not.  

It appeared in Jana's video that her and Stephan's wedding party was asked to do something involving the bridesmaids' bouquets when announced.  Or maybe some of the pairings just did something around the flowers.  

[Salacious Kitty]

1 hour ago, crazy8s said:

I think it was a Josiah prank at Joe and Kendra's wedding. He pretended he couldn't find the ring and then a the stunt with the guy reppelling in with the rings.

 

Yeah, that's what I was thinking. I remember Kendra panicking when the best man came up empty. 

[Minivanessa]

So let's get down to all that really matters about a Duggar: is Jana pregnant yet?

[AstridM]

20 hours ago, ozziemom said:

From the bit I saw, the Wissman groomsmen were more into it than the Duggar women. Goofy faces and TikTok like dance moves. Totally ridiculous, Jessa in particular looked really awkward.

Jessa ALWAYS looks awkward 😂

[Zella]

17 hours ago, Gemma Violet said:

If I was a bridesmaid today, there's no way I'd do this, unless they allowed me to do something extremely subtle and not over-the-top.  If they insisted on crazy antics, I'd turn down being a bridesmaid.  I have a fear of being embarrassed in public. 

This reminds me of group pictures where people want to take a silly one. I always just look annoyed because, like, WTF am I supposed to do with that. LOLOL 

[andromeda331]

A wedding party entrance? Why? It's not their big day. It's the bride (and groom's) big day. 

[Notabug]

11 hours ago, andromeda331 said:

A wedding party entrance? Why? It's not their big day. It's the bride (and groom's) big day. 

Because everybody is doing it and posting on Tik Tok.  Way too many people construct their lives around posting stuff online these days.

[EmeraldGirl]

I only watched a little bit of the video so far, but that Steven is pretty hot. He kept kissing her forehead, and went nose to nose where their lips were extremely close. No way they did that all the time and held off on kissing. 
 

Are we sure that Jana is really happy and didn’t just give up and give in? What’s the story about him pursuing her, and she not being interested for so long? How long ago was that, and when did she change her mind and suddenly fall madly in love with this guy?

[AstridM]

On 1/9/2025 at 11:55 AM, Zella said:

This reminds me of group pictures where people want to take a silly one. I always just look annoyed because, like, WTF am I supposed to do with that. LOLOL 

Same. I have no patience for that!

[Quof]

15 hours ago, Notabug said:

Way too many people construct their lives around posting stuff online these days.

Like wedding invitations that specify the colour that guests are to wear. Who cares if your nearest and dearest can't afford to buy something to match your wedding palette, guests are merely props in your carefully staged Instagram reel and extras in the Film of You. 

[Notabug]

2 hours ago, Quof said:

Like wedding invitations that specify the colour that guests are to wear. Who cares if your nearest and dearest can't afford to buy something to match your wedding palette, guests are merely props in your carefully staged Instagram reel and extras in the Film of You. 

There’ve been tons of stories on Reddit and elsewhere where wedding guests were not only told what to wear but given specific expensive brand names/styles to wear including one thoughtful bride who told all female guests they must wear the same style and color of expensive designer shoes because there was to be a choreographed line dance on the beach that was going to go online and it needed to be perfect. She also very kindly assigned colors to the guests based on weight.  All the fatties were to wear plain black while the thin folks got the bright colors.   Because the whole purpose of the wedding was to post fabulous content online that would go viral.
 

If anyone actually showed up at that wedding, they’re bigger fools than the bride. 
 

I am attending a wedding in April where the bride requested the ladies wear florals ‘if you can, fine if you can’t’.  Since the bride and groom are from different parts of the country and live in a third location; most of the guests will be traveling.  The couple also put a request on their website that anyone who was coming from a distance NOT give them a wedding gift; that the effort to get there was gift enough.   So, it is possible to do these things with kindness and consideration.

Edited January 11 by Notabug

[Quof]

1 hour ago, Notabug said:

The couple also put a request on their website that anyone who was coming from a distance NOT give them a wedding gift; that the effort to get there was gift enough

Telling your guests not to give you a gift implies they were otherwise obligated to give you a gift.  

[GeeGolly]

Introducing parents, grandparents and the wedding party is standard in our neck of the woods. Its a way of honoring and thanking them. Then the bride and groom make their entrance. Of course there was no dancing or props involved.

I have seen some reels of wild entrances, but also seen some heartwarming ones as well. But it seems like with everything these days everyone is trying to up the last SM trend, whether it be sex reveals, showers, birthday parties, weddings... I find it sad and I blame SM and the Kardashians. 😁

[Notabug]

2 hours ago, Quof said:

Telling your guests not to give you a gift implies they were otherwise obligated to give you a gift.  

I think most people invited to attend a wedding expect to give a gift.  Not an obligation, but a tradition, an expectation.  I've certainly never attended a wedding where I didn't give a gift to the couple. I don't feel obliged to do it, I consider it a token of my affection for the couple and my hopes for their future.

[beckie]

20 hours ago, EmeraldGirl said:

I only watched a little bit of the video so far, but that Steven is pretty hot. He kept kissing her forehead, and went nose to nose where their lips were extremely close. No way they did that all the time and held off on kissing. 
 

Are we sure that Jana is really happy and didn’t just give up and give in? What’s the story about him pursuing her, and she not being interested for so long? How long ago was that, and when did she change her mind and suddenly fall madly in love with this guy?

I think she was probably strongly ENCOURAGED by her parents the last time he was around,  not to pursue anything with him, because she was still needed at home with her younger siblings.  I could be wrong.  

[Gemma Violet]

I wonder if Stephen was ever serious about anyone in his 20s and before he took up again with Jana?  I know very little about the Wissmanns.

[Tuxcat]

On 1/10/2025 at 5:44 PM, EmeraldGirl said:

I only watched a little bit of the video so far, but that Steven is pretty hot. He kept kissing her forehead, and went nose to nose where their lips were extremely close. No way they did that all the time and held off on kissing. 
 

Are we sure that Jana is really happy and didn’t just give up and give in? What’s the story about him pursuing her, and she not being interested for so long? How long ago was that, and when did she change her mind and suddenly fall madly in love with this guy?

All we have is speculation, a few pictures, one vague news article. 

The Wissmans and Duggars have known each other for a long time. My theory is that Jana and Stephen "dated" or thought about courting around the time Jeremiah and Hannah were courting. There are a few photos of Jana with the Wissmans in late 2020, early 2021, and one with Stephen at the Duggar house.

Then the arrest, trial, drama, plus Jana's own issues with the law... I suspect she pulled back.

Then in the article she tells the story that Stephen hand wrote her a letter after a long gap of time. She said if he had not done that, she may not have even given it a second thought. But they exchanged letters, and then started talking again and then she realized that if he still wanted her after all those past struggled - he must be the one.

So timing I guess is everything lol. I doubt she was in love. But hoping maybe she finds love. From little we know he seems like a good guy and she seems to be leaning in to the idea lol

This is the quote:

“It was like, ‘What are we doing? We still enjoy each other. We still really appreciate each other,’ ” she recalled to People. “I had been a slower mover on it, but just over time, his character, his coming back, still loving me no matter what. I know we have a big crazy family and still kind of putting up with a lot of things. I’m like, my goodness, there are not too many people that do that. He must really, genuinely care about me.”

5 hours ago, Gemma Violet said:

I wonder if Stephen was ever serious about anyone in his 20s and before he took up again with Jana?  I know very little about the Wissmanns.

Rumor has it he had one prior girlfriend but nothing serious. But that is really just fan speculation. All we really know is that he is very close with his large family.

[EmeraldGirl]

That doesn’t sound very enthusiastic on her part. Sad. It might just be her personality, she may be asexual, bisexual, gay, who knows. But in that family she didn’t have much of a choice.

[andromeda331]

Yeah she really doesn't. He was still after her so she thought he might be the one? Nothing she says sounds like she wanted to be with him. Just what he feels. He came back, he understood crazy families and he cared about her. How do you feel about him Jana? That's important too.

[Gemma Violet]

There was a Jana quote in one of the People magazine articles saying that she loved him.  I posted about it during the week of the wedding.  I'll go back and see if I can find the exact quote.

eta:  Here it is (bolding mine):

Quote

She continues: "But I don't know, something about it really hit me. And I was like, he's so sweet. He really has been there, and how had I not noticed it and realized he is great, and I do love him, and I need to be willing to open up and to allow that?"

https://people.com/jana-duggar-on-how-she-knew-husband-stephen-wissmann-was-the-one-exclusive-8695284

Edited January 12 by Gemma Violet

[cmr2014]

23 hours ago, andromeda331 said:

Yeah she really doesn't. He was still after her so she thought he might be the one? Nothing she says sounds like she wanted to be with him. Just what he feels. He came back, he understood crazy families and he cared about her. How do you feel about him Jana? That's important too.

I think it's really hard for us to see things from her perspective. She has no real experience dealing with people outside her family. There's no one that she's really been able to confide in about her actual feelings (Laura was Gothard, too wasn't she? I always assumed she was around as much to tattle on Jana as much as she might have been Jana's friend).

I think it's very possible that she didn't really have any context to determine if she liked him, or had deeper feelings for him.  Maybe she was thinking: "I wouldn't fly to Nepal to meet him," or "I wouldn't throw an endless tantrum if my father told me to take it slow," so she might have thought what she felt didn't really count.

I can guess, but who knows? Even if she were to spell it all out herself, I doubt I could understand it because I didn't grow up Gothard and I don't have a lifetime of expressing myself in elliptical terms and couching everything I say with Biblical platitudes.

[EmeraldGirl]

Yeah, she was probably just used to doing her own thing, and many years of fending off losers. We learned early on that they even got mail from prisoners. She probably thought marriage wasn’t for her, seeing all of those siblings finding true love. Maybe she didn’t even know what love was. She was very close to John and Abbie, so maybe she thought she would just be the cool aunt.
 

I just finished watching the whole wedding, and it was very classy. By far the best of the group. Jinger had a beautiful dress, but then the groom and the groomsmen were slightly hillbilly looking in their outfits. Jana went all out with the black tuxes, and the girls in the pretty shiny silver dresses , each a slightly different style to fit the girl. Plus, I liked the first dance, the sparklers, and a quiet ride off in the old car. No shoes or other nonsense attached to it, just a classy goodbye. 

 

[ranchgirl]

11 hours ago, cmr2014 said:

I think it's really hard for us to see things from her perspective. She has no real experience dealing with people outside her family. There's no one that she's really been able to confide in about her actual feelings (Laura was Gothard, too wasn't she? I always assumed she was around as much to tattle on Jana as much as she might have been Jana's friend).

I think it's very possible that she didn't really have any context to determine if she liked him, or had deeper feelings for him.  Maybe she was thinking: "I wouldn't fly to Nepal to meet him," or "I wouldn't throw an endless tantrum if my father told me to take it slow," so she might have thought what she felt didn't really count.

I can guess, but who knows? Even if she were to spell it all out herself, I doubt I could understand it because I didn't grow up Gothard and I don't have a lifetime of expressing myself in elliptical terms and couching everything I say with Biblical platitudes.

This is very insightful.  Jana was raised so different from the mainstream.  So isolated and not much influence from the outside.  As the oldest girl, she knew that mothering her siblings and then her nieces and nephews was her job. She knew her parents love story of high school love and saw many of her younger siblings find that too.  She probably thought once she was in her mid 20's that love had pasted her by.  Glad she reconsidered.  I am of the belief that she liked Stephen when Jer and his wife were courting but then she got in trouble with the law when she lost a child and then Josh's trial started, and he got convicted. I believe she was told she was needed at home, and she ended any relationship they had.  

[Tasya]

I think it would be wildly speculative to assume that she settled and doesn't love him. Jana is arguably the best-looking of the "older" girls. I think even with all of the family pressure and drama, if she just wanted to be married and settle, it could have been with anyone. I am sure there were many older widowers with probably a few kids who came around. Some pervy older bachelors—the list goes on. I think that Jana was living a fulfilled life. It may not have been exciting for us to see in the occasional video or picture, but she seemed content. So for her to give that up and somewhat lose her independence (I say somewhat, because Stephen seems really easy-going), it had to be very worth it for her. 

[ozziemom]

I feel like this could be a rom com book or movie. Small town girl meets attractive guy while chaperoning younger brother. Internet goes crazy speculating you are courting too. Scares you off and long distance means you don’t really see each other. You meet up again years later and then it’s love! I feel like Jana and Stephen’s story is pretty similar. I hope they are happy and I’m glad Jana is far from TTH and JimBoob.

[AstridM]

Small town? I don’t think the Duggars live in a small town, despite their efforts to appear like yokels. 

[Gemma Violet]

43 minutes ago, AstridM said:

Small town? I don’t think the Duggars live in a small town, despite their efforts to appear like yokels. 

Isn't the big house located in a place called Tontitown?  I looked up and the population is 4,300 people.

Edited January 13 by Gemma Violet

[Zella]

2 hours ago, Gemma Violet said:

Isn't the big house located in a place called Tontitown?  I looked up and the population is 4,300 people.

They are right on the edge of a metropolitan area of over half a million people. As someone who actually lives in rural Arkansas, I've always been frustrated by them pretending like they aren't literally minutes away from hospitals and universities.

Where I am, it is an actual hardship for people to make the 3-hour round trip to the NWA Metro area for doctor's appointments, better-paying jobs, higher education. All those opportunities right there, and they pretend like they don't have easy access to it. 

Edited January 14 by Zella

[Absolom]

It kind of all runs together like much of suburban USA.  Bella Vista where the Duggars have done quite a bit of business is at the top and then there are all the towns and cities down to Fayetteville. Tontitown is the white bordered by dashed red.

[Zella]

5 minutes ago, Absolom said:

It kind of all runs together like much of suburban USA.  Bella Vista where the Duggars have done quite a bit of business is at the top and then there are all the towns and cities down to Fayetteville. Tontitown is the white bordered by dashed red.

Yes you basically know you've crossed into another town because the signs say so. LOL The bigger towns do have their own distinctive cultural identity from each other, but geographically that's not super obvious while driving through most of it. 

[Absolom]

To me it's just like driving around San Diego, Orange, or Los Angeles counties.  It's all SoCal.  You do find out what town/city you're in by reading the signs or seeing the fences near San Juan Capistrano. 

I followed google maps to a financial institution this afternoon after a medical appointment.  I saw an interesting pet supply store next door.  Then I looked around and said I don't know where I am.  I knew the major street name I was on and knew if I followed it west, I'd go home.  I put it in google maps and it told me I was 20 minutes from home.  Shows you how often I venture in that direction plus I was several miles farther east than I thought I was.  

[YupItsMe]

On 1/13/2025 at 7:32 PM, Absolom said:

It kind of all runs together like much of suburban USA.  Bella Vista where the Duggars have done quite a bit of business is at the top and then there are all the towns and cities down to Fayetteville. Tontitown is the white bordered by dashed red.

Is there actually a town named Accident?

[Absolom]

Apparently so in Benton County.  It's said to be an unincorporated community. 

[Gemma Violet]

2 hours ago, YupItsMe said:

Is there actually a town named Accident?

Not to mention, Beav-O-Rama. 🫤

[Salacious Kitty]

10 minutes ago, Gemma Violet said:

Not to mention, Beav-O-Rama. 🫤

That's the place I zeroed in on. 😂

[Tdoc72]

34 minutes ago, Gemma Violet said:

Not to mention, Beav-O-Rama. 🫤

Sounds like a whorehouse. 

[Zella]

Beav-O-Rama is also unincorporated. I'd honestly never even heard of it until I saw that map, but it was the first thing I noticed and I couldn't take my eyes off it. LOLOL 

[Gemma Violet]

58 minutes ago, Tdoc72 said:

Sounds like a whorehouse. 

Or an adult movie film festival.

[Absolom]

I had a little trouble just posting the map without editorial comment.  😁

[oliviabenson]

intercourse, PA entered the chat. 

[Heathen]

17 minutes ago, oliviabenson said:

intercourse, PA entered the chat. 

Along with Climax, Michigan; Paradise, Michigan, and my personal favorite, Hell, Michigan. 

Topic: @AstridM is right. That country, aw-shucks crap is largely performative. These people own multiple planes, FFS. 

Edited Friday at 03:53 AM by Heathen

[EmeraldGirl]

Can you imagine telling your address to someone when it is climax or hell? Paradise sounds nice, but I can’t imagine those words coming out of my mouth. Especially climax, hell would just be kind of funny. Intercourse would make me move (sorry, I don’t feel like capitalizing). 

Edited Friday at 05:03 AM by EmeraldGirl

[MsJamieDornan]

Let's not forget Embarrass Wisconsin.

2 hours ago, EmeraldGirl said:

Intercourse would make me move

Very quickly.

[Gemma Violet]

'Intercourse' originally meant social conversation and communicating, but over the decades it's come to specifically mean sexual intercourse as opposed to verbal intercourse.  

[Jynnan tonnix]

On the subject of town names, some years ago, when considering places we might retire, Mr Jyn & I were thinking about Pennsylvania, so a friend of mine and I went out there to look at some parcels of land to get an idea. There was a small town in the area called Scotrun, and I bet most of you just read that the way my friend and I did!  Even though there's nothing even remotely untoward about the actual name, it just kept making us laugh when we'd see it on the map. 

As far as Jana, l am of the opinion that there are a couple of very legitimate factors which led her to choose him. First of all, I believe it is very believable that someone would come to truly love another person whom they might not have seen that way earlier in the relationship, and that such love is very often stronger and longer lasting than the sort which begins with all the fireworks and passion. 

Secondly (and this is really an offshoot of the first point), while there might actually be "soul mates" out there, I'm not entirely sure that relationships which initially seem that way truly always end up as a "happily ever after". It's lovely to see a couple celebrating their 50th anniversary as much in love as they were in their 20s, but how often does that really happen? I can't claim that I was ever "in love" with Mr Jyn when we got married, but I knew that he had a core of ironclad integrity, would always be there for me, and never let me down. We'll be celebrating our 40th anniversary next week. Could I have had a more romantic and sparkling life story? Maybe. Could I have had one that crashed and burned? Quite possibly. Maybe even probably, given what I see around me. I'll take what I have, and consider it a win.

[EmeraldGirl]

Happy early anniversary! We just celebrated our 42nd! And I absolutely agree with you on so many points. Soulmates? Most of us end up marrying someone who is local to us at the time. When there is a wide world of people, why is our soulmate the next town over? Or someone that was in our Social group, like the Duggers and the fundamentalists. 

I can say that I was in love when I got married. But he was also carefully chosen because of my background. I had a bit of a chaotic childhood, and he was extremely dependable, calm, safe, kind. My dad was a white collar person, and that is what I wanted to have as well for me. I couldn’t see myself with someone blue collar, but that’s just how I grew up. A lot of education and white-collar jobs. Now I could find that same guy in a million other places in the world, but this is a guy next-door kind of thing that was convenient.

I’m assuming that Jana didn’t have a wide pool to look through, being that she had her similar beliefs as her family. She was at home piddling around with decorating and gardening. Where was she going to meet someone? It’s not like she tried a Christian dating site, or had a Jeremy come around through her sister. This was a well known family to them, and his sister had already joined the family. Probably putting them in close contact. Maybe she just took the second look and decided that he had all the qualities that she wanted and he was obviously crazy about her. Maybe the time just started for her when she wanted a different world then she had been living in for so long, and he was the guy that was there.

[andromeda331]

23 hours ago, Heathen said:

Along with Climax, Michigan; Paradise, Michigan, and my personal favorite, Hell, Michigan. 

Topic: @AstridM is right. That country, aw-shucks crap is largely performative. These people own multiple planes, FFS. 

I always thought it would be fun to be from Mars, Pennsylvania or Jupiter, Florida for the reactions when you tell people your from Mars or Jupiter. But I think Hell, Michigan just beat those two. Telling people your from Hell would be so much more fun. 

[Westiepeach]

9 hours ago, andromeda331 said:

I always thought it would be fun to be from Mars, Pennsylvania or Jupiter, Florida for the reactions when you tell people your from Mars or Jupiter. But I think Hell, Michigan just beat those two. Telling people your from Hell would be so much more fun. 

Or giving directions to your house. "Just go to Hell"...