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S05.E13: Say Yes to the Mess


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Holly's fairytale wedding is not picture perfect. Kim and TJ's families call for peace. Sarper and Shekinah clash at the gym. Brandan doesn't get the response he expected to his marriage proposal.

Airs 10/02/2023

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Sarper and Shekinah. Did you all see the alcohol collection in the cabinet?? The man had more booze than a well stocked bar!   I don't buy that a) he didnt do lap dances when he was a stripper and b) that he never got an erection during a lap dance.  If Sarper cuts out his female clients then maybe he should go back to stripping (and escorting). Lucky these two are only doing it for the 'gram as they are just too toxic for each other. 
Holly said that in her second wedding she was so drunk her dad held her up. Seriously, isn't it illegal to marry  someone who is that intoxicated?  Two morons who got married and shouldn't have.
Brandon and Mary also opened a Sari-Sari. But they are stupid. They go to another Sari-Sari instead of going to a wholesaler to get the items much cheaper.  Damn two more morons who shouldn't either be getting married or having a kid.

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Holly's flowers are black?? My goodness. I don't think I've ever seen anything as ugly as black flowers.

Kim sits there with resting bitch face while the families try to get along and be polite to one another. Sour puss.

Can we believe Sarper when he says it's customary for men to kiss women on the cheek?

ETA Fable - just saw your note about sourpuss. GMTA!

 

Edited by renatae
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What the HELL  with Holly staggering down the aisle holding on to that atrocious hair all bent over . She always has her bottom lip out with mouth gaping open like going she’s going to be sick or is smelling something bad.

May I say that was the WORST male strip dancing ever.  Also at the gym he was down right aggressive pulling her down the hall 
 

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5 hours ago, greekmom said:

They go to another Sari-Sari instead of going to a wholesaler to get the items much cheaper.  

You can mark things up more than a penny when you don’t pay retail.

1 hour ago, athousandclowns said:

She always has her bottom lip out with mouth gaping open like going she’s going to be sick or is smelling something bad.

Reminds me of carp in a pond when they have those vending machines where you can throw food pellets in their mouths.

1 hour ago, athousandclowns said:

Also at the gym he was down right aggressive pulling her down the hall 

Let janitor clean up smashed lollipop!

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12 hours ago, greekmom said:

Two morons who got married and shouldn't have.
Brandon and Mary also opened a Sari-Sari. But they are stupid. They go to another Sari-Sari instead of going to a wholesaler to get the items much cheaper.  Damn two more morons who shouldn't either be getting married or having a kid

Jealousy, getting lolo's permission to court, the church now a sari sari. Mary has been taking the stereotypical roles and  then playing them to the extreme the entire time from what I can read and the couple of hours that I have seen. That the plan is not to be a farm hand but to have a store to sit and do nothing store related but  pick up a peso here and there from some kid who wants a piece of candy or a close place  to get just enough soap to finish the washing

Edited by Raja
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10 hours ago, renatae said:

Can we believe Sarper when he says it's customary for men to kiss women on the cheek?

 

 

I know there are a lot of cultures where you great people with an embrace and sometimes kisses on each cheek or at least one. So I kind of let that slide but then again, it is Sarper. 

11 minutes ago, Raja said:

Jealousy, getting lolo's permission to court, the church now a sari sari. Mary has been taking the stereotypical roles and  then playing them to the extreme the entire time from what I can read and the couple of hours that I have seen. That the plan is not to be a farm hand but to have a store to sit and do nothing store related but  pick up a peso here and there from some kid who wants a piece of candy or a close place  to get just enough soap to finish the washing

What a sad life. Sitting around making a few pennies..... No ambition at all. 

9 hours ago, athousandclowns said:

What the HELL  with Holly staggering down the aisle holding on to that atrocious hair all bent over . She always has her bottom lip out with mouth gaping open like going she’s going to be sick or is smelling something bad.


 

I don't get Wayne and Holly. She is a mess, she looks awful. I think he is a pretty nice looking man. Did I miss something about his past? 

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2 hours ago, libgirl2 said:

don't get Wayne and Holly. She is a mess, she looks awful. I think he is a pretty nice looking man. Did I miss something about his past? 

I didn’t want to be the person who had to bring his past to light, but… 

 

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It’s a different large chinned villain.

Just now, Kid said:

Why would anyone want to marry Holly?? Oh my God, no fake eyelashes! I would love to see this woman faced with a real crisis.

She said she wanted a Cinderella theme, but ended up with Corpse Bride. 

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20 hours ago, greekmom said:

Brandon and Mary also opened a Sari-Sari. But they are stupid. They go to another Sari-Sari instead of going to a wholesaler to get the items much cheaper.  Damn two more morons who shouldn't either be getting married or having a kid.

Seems our little gold digger (she thought she snagged a rich American) is a little upset. I can't stand the sight of the woman.

And, Brandon, you are not going to be able to escape this situation in video games. When she tells you to leave, do yourself a favor and LEAVE.  That little piece will find her self another man in no time. There was a poster here that made the comment that the only one that was a virgin in that relationship was Brandon and I totally agree. For being so young, she looks rode hard and put up wet.

Edited by Kid
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4 minutes ago, Kid said:

Seems our little gold digger (she thought she snagged a rich American) is a little upset. I can't stand the sight of the woman.

And, Brandon, you are not going to be able to escape this situation in video games. When she tells you to leave, do yourself a favor and LEAVE.  That little piece will find her self another man in no time. There was a poster here that made the comment that the only one that was a virgin in that relationship was Brandon and I totally agree. For being so young, she looks rode hard and put up wet.

Maybe when the “Wi-Fi was down” she was camming.

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Did I hear right?  Did Mary say she borrowed $1,000 to build the store that is going to net them $18/month?!?  And as someone above mentioned, why buy items at retail from another store to sell at yours?  

I couldn't believe that they bought $8 worth of stock that they thought might net them 50 cents.  Heck, if Brandan knew that he could have brought another suitcase full of "exotic" America products to sell!

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6 minutes ago, Kath94 said:

Did I hear right?  Did Mary say she borrowed $1,000 to build the store that is going to net them $18/month?!?  And as someone above mentioned, why buy items at retail from another store to sell at yours?  

I couldn't believe that they bought $8 worth of stock that they thought might net them 50 cents.  Heck, if Brandan knew that he could have brought another suitcase full of "exotic" America products to sell!

Two people spending time walking to the store, shopping, walking back from the store for a whopping profit of 56 cents.  And that’s if every item sells and sells in the foreseeable future.  

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Holly's dress and veil were a wrinkled mess and the "lace" was sticking together like some cheap temu crap. Trying to keep her ill fitting plastic beach slides on (at least they were white) made her hobble. That ponys ass of hair pulled her into a hunchback and her dollar store makeup was not doing the job. Did Holly confuse Cinderella with the ugly stepsisters?

By the look on Mary's face, I thought Brandon was offering her a turd in a box. She wanted a movie proposal with a fat diamond...instead she got a huge silver plated dudes ring in a hut that reminds her they're broke and stupid. It's still more than she deserves. 

Sarper and Shikina are one snit away from a dv charge.

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The other thing that is laughable about Shrek flipping out about Sarper not posting a pic of them on his social media----they are filming a tv show. About their relationship. They have a camera crew following them around, even at his place of work. SMH. If he wanted to hide he wouldn't have agreed to this----then again, Colt was cheating on his women bigly and then was exposed when the ladies sent screenshots of his texts and dick pics. I don't think Sarper is a Colt, however. 

 

Ah and Brandan and Mary---bitching about his not helping more. This is why you know a guy for more than a hot second before getting knocked up dipshit. They truly are the new Paul and Karine. 

Spoiler

A social media post indicated she is pregnant now with baby #2. They truly are the new Paul and Karine. I am sure next we will follow them to the US where she will have a breakdown, his recovering addict mom will try to connect with them and her grandkids, etc. 

 

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14 hours ago, J80134 said:

By the look on Mary's face, I thought Brandon was offering her a turd in a box. She wanted a movie proposal with a fat diamond...instead she got a huge silver plated dudes ring in a hut that reminds her they're broke and stupid. It's still more than she deserves. 

Yep!!!  To all of it.

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Re Mary and Brandan: who wants an engagement ring that says "I am enough"??? Y tho??

Sarper and Vagina are perfectly grotesque. They deserve each other. His dance? I am so embarrassed for him. 

The entire episode was Theater of the Absurd. I have little hope for the future of Mankind.

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19 minutes ago, Kath94 said:

Hey!  Let's hook up Mary with Yohan and then they can both complain about the other not treating them in the style to which they aspire.

The difference there is that Mary thought she was snagging a money loaded American & Yohan was told he would be getting one & told they would live in the US by the horrid bitch herself. 

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15 hours ago, J80134 said:

By the look on Mary's face, I thought Brandon was offering her a turd in a box

You can't polish a turd.

But you can roll it in glitter.

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1 hour ago, sauce62 said:

Re Mary and Brandan: who wants an engagement ring that says "I am enough"??? Y tho??

Brandan explained that it had a special meaning to them because they said that or something similar to each other.

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Mary and Brandan will lie in the bed they made. There's nothing worse I can wish on them than what they've done to themselves. I just wish there wouldn't be innocent kid/s involved in their catastrophe.

I get that divorce is nearly impossible in the Philippines, but even so, I can never understand the logic that somehow marriage is a bigger commitment, with more burdensome financial expectations, than a CHILD. Getting married wouldn't add a nickel to their budget! But they got pregnant on purpose without a plan to provide food and clothing? There are no words.

The Shekinah/Sarper stuff is obviously staged, but still ridiculous. If you don't trust him, that's the problem. Female clients are not the problem.

Holly seemed drunk or strung out. Her statements about knowing she was with her soulmate and the right guy for her were unconvincing.

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I swore I was not going to watch this season because of how fake some of it all is but after reading some of the comments here I got sucked backed in.

Another season of idiots with no money for the visas and the women that say they love them and I have no idea why.

I have been sucked back in to a show where there is absolutely no one to root for.  

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I was expecting to get a wrap up on Julio and Kristen- I assume they broke up but we haven’t seen them for 7 episodes or so. 
 

Holly and Wayne are probably the most “successful” couple this season and that’s saying A LOT.

22 hours ago, IvySpice said:

I get that divorce is nearly impossible in the Philippines, but even so, I can never understand the logic that somehow marriage is a bigger commitment, with more burdensome financial expectations, than a CHILD. Getting married wouldn't add a nickel to their budget! But they got pregnant on purpose without a plan to provide food and clothing? There are no words.

I don’t disagree with you- but wasn’t the plan always for them to marry? Brandon planned to move there permanently so he has to have legal status. I think they were ridiculous for choosing to bring a baby into their relationship before they were stable, but I get why they wanted to get married. 

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23 hours ago, IvySpice said:

Mary and Brandan will lie in the bed they made. There's nothing worse I can wish on them than what they've done to themselves. I just wish there wouldn't be innocent kid/s involved in their catastrophe.

I get that divorce is nearly impossible in the Philippines, but even so, I can never understand the logic that somehow marriage is a bigger commitment, with more burdensome financial expectations, than a CHILD. Getting married wouldn't add a nickel to their budget! But they got pregnant on purpose without a plan to provide food and clothing? There are no words.

 

With the unwed birthrate nearly the same as America's the commitment being that if Brandon doesn't work out Mary can't offer herself as a legal wife to the next guy. And depending upon how religious he is that is a bigger red flag than other single mothers have. And while rarely enforced, beyond religion adultery is also against the law which a second suitor has to take into account before he moves forward.

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None of these couples are any good or has any hope of working out but the Brandon/Mary situation is particularly stunning and baffling to me and it just keeps getting worse.  I can't understand why either one keeps furthering this disaster of a relationship and now there are kids being brought into this huge mess!  No planning, Brandon moving to a country where there is virtually no way for citizens to make enough money to have a reasonable life yet he moves there practically penniless and he can't even legally get any type of job whatsoever (and acts like this is some kind of surprise to him)!  And doing this all for a psycho, controlling, extremely immature bitch who will only ever make his life worse and more miserable.  He didn't have it together enough to even be any kind of success in the U.S. where it should have been easy even for a lazy idiot like him, yet he ended up homeless living in his car here, what a moronic loser.  Now he wants to sleep all day and play video games and act like this no-hope situation is some kind of surprise and in any way not completely their own fault.  I'm having trouble believing this storyline can actually be true but am afraid it is.  How can anyone not put any planning into their lives and just keep wandering further into its complete destruction beyond any hope of repair?!?  WTF????

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Also after only considering Brandon and Mary's situation for a few hours since watching the last episode, I can already think of a way both of them could vastly improve their lives as much of a mess as they are.  I know of a U.S. company that runs a call center, only employs people to work entirely from home, pays $10 U.S. per hour, 1099 contractor positions so no withholdings, and they will hire absolutely anyone living anywhere as long as they can speak reasonably fluent English and have basic computer skills, already have a mostly Filipino workforce since few U.S. citizens will work for that amount.  They don't care about or check references, would hire both Brandon and Mary, they could start work almost immediately and have paychecks within a couple of weeks.  Brandon could even continue sleeping all day since their shifts are all daytime and evenings in the U.S. which is middle of the night Philippines time.  But will either of them seek out this or any other reasonable opportunity?   Of course not, they'll just keep messing around with their (maybe) $18/month profit from a stupid little guaranteed to fail store and trying to make a living from being idiots on TV.  Mind-blowing.  Some people are just destined to fail in life I guess.

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8 hours ago, Raja said:

And while rarely enforced, beyond religion adultery is also against the law which a second suitor has to take into account before he moves forward.

If they’re both single isn’t it fornication rather than adultery?

6 hours ago, Boxer Woman said:

None of these couples are any good or has any hope of working out but the Brandon/Mary situation is particularly stunning and baffling to me and it just keeps getting worse.  I can't understand why either one keeps furthering this disaster of a relationship and now there are kids being brought into this huge mess!  No planning, Brandon moving to a country where there is virtually no way for citizens to make enough money to have a reasonable life yet he moves there practically penniless and he can't even legally get any type of job whatsoever (and acts like this is some kind of surprise to him)!  And doing this all for a psycho, controlling, extremely immature bitch who will only ever make his life worse and more miserable.  He didn't have it together enough to even be any kind of success in the U.S. where it should have been easy even for a lazy idiot like him, yet he ended up homeless living in his car here, what a moronic loser.  Now he wants to sleep all day and play video games and act like this no-hope situation is some kind of surprise and in any way not completely their own fault.  I'm having trouble believing this storyline can actually be true but am afraid it is.  How can anyone not put any planning into their lives and just keep wandering further into its complete destruction beyond any hope of repair?!?  WTF????

Don’t forget he had her give up her dance scholarship and drop out of college because he didn’t want her dancing with guys.

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5 hours ago, MrBuhBye said:

If they’re both single isn’t it fornication rather than adultery?

 

The question was the commitment of marriage versus becoming a single parent in the Philippines. Once married for most it is till death and any future relationship due to separation runs both legal adultery and concubine risk along with not being able to receive communion from the largest church because of fornication.  Although it looks like a divorce bill might just get passed soon breaking the adultery and concubine legal risk 

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7 hours ago, Raja said:

The question was the commitment of marriage versus becoming a single parent in the Philippines. Once married for most it is till death and any future relationship due to separation runs both legal adultery and concubine risk along with not being able to receive communion from the largest church because of fornication.  Although it looks like a divorce bill might just get passed soon breaking the adultery and concubine legal risk 

Ah thought you were talking about their relationship status as depicted on this season.

 

 

 

season.

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Mary looks so fucking miserable all the time. Someone put her out of her misery. 

Shrek needs to calm the F down. Her tantrum in refusing to leave the locker room was so immature. As he said, a man going in there is illegal and that is his place of work. She wants him to kiss her ass, when she says do this he should jump and do it, logic be damned! Oh, 90% or more of your clients are female cause in Turkey, men don't tend to hire personal trainers? Don't care, I am too insecure. If he DID what she asked, she would quickly become bored. She just loves the attention and the fact that a man with that body is chasing after her. She doesn't actually want him to do all these things. If he did, she would bitch about him being lazy and not working. or the new mattress is too lumpy. SOMETHING. Again, someone with the maturity of a 15 year old trapped in a 40 plus body. 

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