S06.E01: Moonstruck

[Texasmom1970]

20 hours ago, AR Traveler said:

I don't know everything in Amanda's head, obviously, but what is sure is that she's going way way way too fast.  It's barely been six months?  She's still carrying around the ashes?  And simply the fact of the young kids makes it way too soon.  Maybe Romania sounded exotic and she got the Dracula fantasy going.  If it was Phil from Cleveland, that foreignness wouldn't be there.

I think you might have nailed it about Romania being exotic. I think she might be trying to escape the reality they are all facing.

I have not lost a spouse but my daughter Madison passed away in 2018; she was only 12. Over the almost five years the grief journey has been pure hell and is still. Some might think I have totally lost it but I talk to her daily. 

I definitely think it is a really bad idea for her children to be surrounded by a film crew right now! They need as much support and normalcy as possible.
 

 

Edited June 6, 2023 by Texasmom1970
I can’t spell 😊

[lilmarysunshine]

12 hours ago, greekmom said:

David - not surprised that his parents dumped him at an ASL boarding school.  Interesting the school in Nebraska closed in 1998 which I assume is the one David went to.  Might have been the done thing for David's generation to just place them in a boarding school.  Did he say if his family knows ASL?  David could have been one of those kids that just didn't want to learn to speak due to the "deaf accent" and/or to learn to read lips.   Sheila is going to hurt him.  I wish David would have tried again with some girl in the US or Canada instead of going international.

 

In his old pictures, the shirts had “TSD” on them so I am assuming that was Tennessee School for the Deaf. I think sending kids to a deaf school can actually be a loving thing to do for them as I have heard they can get very connected to a deaf community and culture.  But then being ripped from that must have been so difficult for him. I don’t understand, however, not learning ASL if you have a deaf child.

He is someone who seems easy to root for - I hope they don’t ruin that! 

4 minutes ago, Texasmom1970 said:

I think you might have nailed it about Romania bejj in no exotic. I think she might be trying to escape the reality they are all facing.

I have not lost a spouse but my daughter Madison passed away in 2018; she was only 12. Over the almost five years the grief journey has been pure hell and is still. Some might think I have totally lost it but I talk to her daily. 

I definitely think it is a really bad idea for her children to be surrounded by a film crew right now! They need as much support and normalcy as possible.
 

 

I am so sorry about Madison. I would talk to her every day, too. 

[Scarlett45]

9 minutes ago, Texasmom1970 said:

I think you might have nailed it about Romania bejj in no exotic. I think she might be trying to escape the reality they are all facing.

I have not lost a spouse but my daughter Madison passed away in 2018; she was only 12. Over the almost five years the grief journey has been pure hell and is still. Some might think I have totally lost it but I talk to her daily. 

I definitely think it is a really bad idea for her children to be surrounded by a film crew right now! They need as much support and normalcy as possible.
 

 

I’m so sorry for the loss of your daughter, there are no words. 
 

I agree with you- if this guy (just as attractive) said hi to her at Starbucks she would probably run the other way. Amanda wants to escape the pain right now (understandable!!!), but this isn’t the way. 
 

As we are being introduced to Violet I LOVE her pictures, Riley’s shirt in the talking heads sets off his skin perfectly and his dog is adorable. But Riley has some WALLS. He’s a nice looking guy with a job, no kids and a cute dog- so what is it about him that makes connecting in a relationship so difficult? Does he treat them like a project?

[Fable]

This season seems like it might be another slog.  There was no one I wanted to root for and nobody I enjoyed disliking, but Lord knows I will likely watch.  

I did feel somewhat badly for Amanda, although I didn't notice any real tears in her many crying scenes, but people grieve differently, and you cannot always cry on demand.  

I don't know what to think of David.  It really bothered me that he was signing while driving, so as much as I wanted to like him, I have some misgivings.  

I have no interest in Gino and Jasmine, or the other two couples so far.  

[Boxer Woman]

3 hours ago, lilmarysunshine said:

I don’t understand, however, not learning ASL if you have a deaf child.

 

I don't either.  I don't have kids, just dogs, but teach them all lots of hand signals along with verbal words.  It's nice in general to have an additional way to communicate with them and I've had a couple lose their hearing in later years so then it was great to still be able to practice obedience and play games and stuff using hand signals, helped keep their minds sharp, and tell them with hand signals that they were good dogs and things like that.

Even with a child away at a school for the deaf where they can learn much more effectively than with parents or in public schools, surely they spend some time at home, seems like the parents would want to be able to interact with them more, as much as they could.  I'd definitely learn ASL if I had a deaf child.

[Stuckathome]

9 hours ago, Boxer Woman said:

I'd definitely learn ASL if I had a deaf child.

Suddenly remembered the movie Mr Holland's Opus....in it, his son is deaf and he refuses to learn ASL until much later in the boy's life. 

[Shrek]

30 minutes ago, Stuckathome said:

Suddenly remembered the movie Mr Holland's Opus....in it, his son is deaf and he refuses to learn ASL until much later in the boy's life. 

A very underrated movie & well worth a watch if you haven't seen it.

[HorrrGoodnight]

Poor Tyray looked so devastated. I can't believe he spent 4 years texting and NEVER verified who she is via video chat or even phone call. I wonder how much money he's sent over that time span. Obviously 'she' wouldn't keep talking to him for free. 

Edited June 6, 2023 by SlutAssBitchAssHor

[DEL901]

2 hours ago, SlutAssBitchAssHor said:

Poor Tyray looked so devastated. I can't believe he spent 4 years texting and NEVER verified who she is via video chat or even phone call. I wonder how much money he's sent over that time span. Obviously 'she' wouldn't keep talking to him for free. 

Most likely deep down he feared she wasn’t real, and if he pushed, he’d lose the fantasy, but eventually he had to know…

[Scarlett45]

7 hours ago, SlutAssBitchAssHor said:

Poor Tyray looked so devastated. I can't believe he spent 4 years texting and NEVER verified who she is via video chat or even phone call. I wonder how much money he's sent over that time span. Obviously 'she' wouldn't keep talking to him for free. 

 

5 hours ago, DEL901 said:

Most likely deep down he feared she wasn’t real, and if he pushed, he’d lose the fantasy, but eventually he had to know…

I agree with you @DEL901. Tyray seems so sweet, and such a good caregiver for his Mom. But the salary as a customer service rep (what he did before his mom got sick right) and as a caregiver isn’t a lucrative one- to think these people are barely getting by and sending ALL of their disposable income to a catfish. It’s not as if Tyray didn’t miss that money. 

[heysmilinstrange]

On 6/5/2023 at 8:45 AM, Sir RaiderDuck OMS said:

And whoever referred to Elton John, one of the biggest-selling and most influential popular music artists ever, as "minor" or "obscure" or whatever simply doesn't know what they're talking about.

 

On 6/5/2023 at 10:34 AM, MrBuhBye said:

I think he meant he owns the whole back catalog.  Elton John’s sales dived in the US after the early to mid-70s, perhaps due to homophobia. 

 

On 6/5/2023 at 11:03 AM, Shrek said:

My wife thought he meant that he had the more obscure Elton John albums not that he was obscure.

I think he was being sarcastic when he called Elton John obscure.

[sharwoods]

Amanda stated that her husband passed away last year when he was 45 years old, which meant that he was 14 years older and they had been together for 8 years.  Therefore, she married at 23 and was widowed at age 31.  Her husband Jason was her only serious relationship and I'm guessing that she relied on him financially, emotionally, etc. and couldn't cope well when he died so suddenly.  The problem is that her Romanian boyfriend is only 26 and lacks the maturity and stability than Amanda needs right  now.  I understand her desire to escape from the harsh reality of her current life, but she is investing way too much time and effort in a playboy who has career ambitions in the entertainment world.  The best advice I could give her is to spend time and money pursuing education/training in a field that would provide her family with a decent income in the coming years.  She could probably meet some great guys through bereavement groups or other activities where she could really get to know the person as a friend and then slowly progress to a dating relationship.  

[misokinesia]

I see a lot of people getting on Amanda for the ashes but I think what a lot of people may not be considering, or just missed, is that she lives in Louisiana but she was at her sister's place in Ohio(?) because she was leaving the kids there with her aunt while she went off to Romania. She also said something about how they were meeting her aunt at the airport and that her aunt would be taking the kids from there and watching them, so they brought everything, ashes included. It makes sense that she'd take them, then at least their dad can 'stay' with them while she's gone.

For those asking about moving ashes around, I lost my husband almost 5.5 years ago to cancer as well. No kids. For the first week or so after I got his ashes back, yes, I did move them around the house with me. Mostly from the family room to the bedroom (on his side table), and back. Might sound crazy to some, but I felt guilty 'leaving him alone' after I finally had him back at home with me.

[Scarlett45]

1 hour ago, misokinesia said:

I see a lot of people getting on Amanda for the ashes but I think what a lot of people may not be considering, or just missed, is that she lives in Louisiana but she was at her sister's place in Ohio(?) because she was leaving the kids there with her aunt while she went off to Romania. She also said something about how they were meeting her aunt at the airport and that her aunt would be taking the kids from there and watching them, so they brought everything, ashes included. It makes sense that she'd take them, then at least their dad can 'stay' with them while she's gone.

For those asking about moving ashes around, I lost my husband almost 5.5 years ago to cancer as well. No kids. For the first week or so after I got his ashes back, yes, I did move them around the house with me. Mostly from the family room to the bedroom (on his side table), and back. Might sound crazy to some, but I felt guilty 'leaving him alone' after I finally had him back at home with me.

I am sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your perspective with us. 
 

I understood Amanda’s having her husband’s ashes. 

[Stuckathome]

12 hours ago, misokinesia said:

I see a lot of people getting on Amanda for the ashes but I think what a lot of people may not be considering, or just missed, is that she lives in Louisiana but she was at her sister's place in Ohio(

I did miss that point and then yes, I agree with toting them along for the ride. Sorry for your loss. 

[monagatuna]

19 hours ago, misokinesia said:

For those asking about moving ashes around, I lost my husband almost 5.5 years ago to cancer as well. No kids. For the first week or so after I got his ashes back, yes, I did move them around the house with me. Mostly from the family room to the bedroom (on his side table), and back. Might sound crazy to some, but I felt guilty 'leaving him alone' after I finally had him back at home with me.

That would make sense but she posted on instagram (photo in the couples thread, posting here only because it's not a spoiler) that they stayed "in our home" with family, but it sounds like she drove them several states away to stay with her sister? I'm willing to chalk it up to a typo since that's the only thing that doesn't add up.

[Alapaki]

Amanda is a piece of shit for doing this to her children. I despise her.

Otherwise I think this season has promise. Jasmine’s face looks cartoonish at this point. Meisha used to do the traffic in my city but then found Jesus and took her after-market upgrades elsewhere. And we got an episode 1 catfish reveal. 

[DEL901]

I read that Amanda’s husband died only 10 days after the diagnosis.   That has to have made things mor3 challenging for her and her kids.  

[Quof]

He went into hospital suddenly and died quickly, and she didn't tell even tell the children for a few days.  How do you think their young brains will process "Mommy's going away for a while, but she'll be back" ? 

[lu1535]

On 6/5/2023 at 7:53 AM, greekmom said:

David - not surprised that his parents dumped him at an ASL boarding school.  Interesting the school in Nebraska closed in 1998 which I assume is the one David went to.  Might have been the done thing for David's generation to just place them in a boarding school.  Did he say if his family knows ASL?  David could have been one of those kids that just didn't want to learn to speak due to the "deaf accent" and/or to learn to read lips.   Sheila is going to hurt him.  I wish David would have tried again with some girl in the US or Canada instead of going international.

I just don't understand that if he spent his school age years at the deaf school there weren't classes on lip reading and speech. That makes no sense to me, could this be producer driven? 🤔

 

Edited June 12, 2023 by lu1535
oops, double post

[Alapaki]

15 minutes ago, lu1535 said:

I just don't understand that if he spent his school age years at the deaf school there weren't classes on lip reading and speech. That makes no sense to me, could this be producer driven? 🤔

 

It might be. The more I think about it, the inability to read lips or hear AT ALL would seem to make it REALLY difficult to get through daily life. But more power to him if it’s true. 

[lu1535]

17 minutes ago, Alapaki said:

It might be. The more I think about it, the inability to read lips or hear AT ALL would seem to make it REALLY difficult to get through daily life. But more power to him if it’s true. 

I just assumed it would be part of the curriculum. 🤷‍♀️

[Biosynth]

On 6/5/2023 at 7:17 AM, Quof said:

It's strange that David never learned to speak or to read lips, at all, given that all of his family is hearing. I was surprised to see he is permitted to drive, since he can't hear approaching traffic including sirens, but disturbed to watch him sign while driving.   

Hey there.  My husband is deaf and has a similar back story as David somewhat.  I'm surprised his family never really learned ASL for David.  My husband's mom learned it fluently and went on to interpret at the deaf school in North Dakota and also for main streaming deaf kids in hearing schools.  My hubby's sisters also learned sign.  His dad never got the hang of it though, but they did their best.  Hubby went to oral school to learn how to speak and lip read.  A lot of times it's not a matter of if they feel like learning it or trying to avoid the deaf accent.  Reading lips is really difficult and some just don't get the hang of it.  My hubby tries to speak and gets a few understandable words out, but for the most part, he doesn't speak.  He can't read lips, no matter how hard he tried.  

Sometimes there are only a few deaf schools, if any, in any particular state, so it might be that David was sent to one of the only deaf schools in his state and his family lived in another part of the state.  I can see feeling the dorm kids as part of his family.  The Deaf community is pretty close knit.  I have a feeling that David wasn't afforded an interpreter in order to go to a hearing high school closer to home.  

Also, the Deaf are perfectly capable to drive and do just about anything else, short of being able to hear.  My hubby usually sees the firetrucks and police before I do, and I'm hearing!  As for oncoming traffic, he's just more alert behind the wheel is all.  And sometimes when we are on long trips, I'll play the music really loudly so he can feel the bass and the beat. :)

[Quof]

10 minutes ago, Biosynth said:

My hubby usually sees the firetrucks and police before I do, and I'm hearing!

How does that work when they're behind you and you need to pull over so they can get by.  Legitimately curious.

My friend had his right eye surgically removed, and is still allowed to drive, even though he can't see traffic merging from on-ramps! and he was a lousy driver when he had 2 eyes.  

[Elizzikra]

5 hours ago, Quof said:

How does that work when they're behind you and you need to pull over so they can get by.  Legitimately curious.

My friend had his right eye surgically removed, and is still allowed to drive, even though he can't see traffic merging from on-ramps! and he was a lousy driver when he had 2 eyes.  

Maybe he checks his mirrors more frequently than hearing drivers do? I'm thinking of David saying he's more vigilant about things when he's just walking around; more aware of what is in his periphery than hearing people might be?

Quote

He went into hospital suddenly and died quickly, and she didn't tell even tell the children for a few days.  How do you think their young brains will process "Mommy's going away for a while, but she'll be back" ? 

Kids can be really resilient about things. She will FaceTime them, which will help. And presumably they go to school or she goes to work or... something that they aren't together 24/7. 

I don't necessarily love what she is doing but her story KILLS me. I'm 53 and my husband is in his 60's. Our kid is in her late teens. I'm still terrified at the prospect of losing him, much less losing him without any warning whatsoever. I have no idea how I might grieve that loss and I'm not going to judge her for it.

[Shelbie]

Thank you for your thoughtful post.

[Scarlett45]

@DaisyMine Thank you for sharing your experience with us. I am so very sorry for your losses, it speaks to what a thoughtful person you are that you went onto help others by becoming grief therapist. 
 

 

[mytmo]

My apologies for my remarks on Amanda's keeping of the ashes and incorporating them into daily life.  My culture (Native American) believes one travels in the first 3 days after passing and keep a fire going outside to light their way.  We bury them with things to help in their journey.  In my mom's case in her buckskin bag there was a small hatchet, matches and her favorite once a year drink, a bottle of Jack Daniels (never know who you'll run into :).  The immediate family does not keep personal belongings as we believe the spirit won't move on or the living.  We do honor them every year however with a day long ghost supper and in various other ceremonies during the year.  The spirit is always traveling and we always keep them in our thoughts and believe they visit us to help provide comfort if not guidance especially when we have an issue to work through.  I apologize for my lack of understanding.

[Elizzikra]

1 hour ago, mytmo said:

My apologies for my remarks on Amanda's keeping of the ashes and incorporating them into daily life.  My culture (Native American) believes one travels in the first 3 days after passing and keep a fire going outside to light their way.  We bury them with things to help in their journey.  In my mom's case in her buckskin bag there was a small hatchet, matches and her favorite once a year drink, a bottle of Jack Daniels (never know who you'll run into :).  The immediate family does not keep personal belongings as we believe the spirit won't move on or the living.  We do honor them every year however with a day long ghost supper and in various other ceremonies during the year.  The spirit is always traveling and we always keep them in our thoughts and believe they visit us to help provide comfort if not guidance especially when we have an issue to work through.  I apologize for my lack of understanding.

That is a really beautiful way to honor those who have gone before us.

[Elizzikra]

1 hour ago, DaisyMine said:

Oh, what a lovely tradition. Thank you so much for sharing it with us. Please, no apology …my post was only meant to help understand what seems to be Amanda’s way to grieve…perhaps more her children’s way since she made (or tried to make) another choice.

I knew a lady whose husband died a few months before they had planned to go on a cruise together. She said she didn't feel right leaving her husband's ashes behind and didn't know what else to do with them so she took them with her. Why not?

[Natalie68]

On 6/4/2023 at 5:15 PM, Elizzikra said:

Anyone else getting Larissa vibes from Jasmine of Jasmine and Geno?

I hate this couple and find them pretty gross.  I ff every time they are on.  Seriously, no effin butt plugs on TLC.  Unless it is a doc on butt plugs.  

[Elizzikra]

2 hours ago, Natalie68 said:

I hate this couple and find them pretty gross.  I ff every time they are on.  Seriously, no effin butt plugs on TLC.  Unless it is a doc on butt plugs.  

Well, you know how important it is to have the proper tools…