All Episodes Discussion

[cooksdelight]

11 hours ago, Ohmo said:

Cooks, were you worried that he'd follow you, or did he simply turn his attention to more unsuspecting prey (like Debra)?

Yes, which was why one eye was on the freeway and one on the rear view mirror. He did follow us out, as we figured he would because he wanted to see where we lived. We didn’t tell him we were visiting from out of town. In fact, we lied a lot about ourselves because the guy was giving off a stalker vibe from the beginning. We were curious what he’d tell us about himself, and how far he’d take his story. He mentioned being divorced and having kids, and that he was a doctor..... ha, yeah, right. Doctors don’t wear scrubs to a nice restaurant, they wear a suit or nice clothes.

Anyway, I hit the gas once we got on the freeway and lost him.

[emoxie]

12 hours ago, tobeannounced said:

What do you do with yourself while listening to a podcast? Do you stare at the wall? I'm semi-joking, semi-serious. I feel like I'm missing out on the whole world of podcasts, but it just seems so boring to sit and listen.

When I listened to this podcast with my friends we were doing a 30 mile charity walk to raise awareness for multiple sclerosis. Takes a lot of time to walk that far and the podcast + a Bluetooth speaker kept us entertained quite a bit. We did get some odd stares on occasion though. Lol. 

Edited January 14, 2018 by emoxie
Grammar

[patty1h]

In regard to the episode "The Sting", this was like crack to me.  **I added more info so this won't be so vague/help readers to know what episode I'm talking about:  Florida couple Michael and Dalia Dippolito fall in love; six months later the wife is conspiring with her convenience store worker lover to kill the husband.

 I lovelovelovelove the cases where the perpetrator gets caught red-handed with rock solid evidence and justice kicks them in the ass.  I needed a cigarette after seeing Dalia try to lie her way out of her crime, even with the ton of video and audio against her.  It's scary how humans will lie to save themselves even when faced with overwhelming evidence and your living husband walking into the room.

This guy was asking for trouble - quickly marrying a woman who was an escort, and had a lover on the side, and then signing over his home to her.  I assume she wanted him dead to get her out of his financial burden?  Did he have a big insurance policy that she expected to get after his murder?  She really did not believe in the wedding vows - she wanted out after 6 months of marriage, for a really trivial reason.

Edited January 14, 2018 by patty1h
More info to clarify episode

[saber5055]

Cooks, that SO had to be Dirty John, wearing scrubs to a nice place. In that LA Times article, it describes Debra taking him to a charity event/dinner and he wore his scrubs when everyone else, of course, was in formal wear. There's even a photo of them that they posed for at the event. As the articles went on, Debra said she started to notice the pants were frayed at the bottom of the legs ... like my old jeans get when I wear them too much. I wondered why he didn't go to Good Will and buy some new scrubs. But then, his plan was working for him, so why change I guess.

I can't fault Debra for repeatedly taking John back. Every time she confronted him with something, he had some smooth excuse, then he would go into "You are the love of my life" script. Yes, she had red flags going off, but he kept smoozing over them. If you're a woman who has never met a using con man, it's impossible to understand. I have ... and I only got free when a detective and sheriff BOTH came to my house while I was there (because con men don't open the door to police) and arrested him. I've been alone since, and always will be, because of what he did to me. My trust for all men is gone. I completely understand Debra.

Also in the LA Time article, once Debra cut ties with John, he said the same hate-filled things to her as Dateline showed us he said to his ex-wife. And he was raised/taught that to hurt someone you do not attack/kill that person, you kill someone dear to them so the original person (Debra) would suffer forever. Which is why he targeted Terra. He had worse plans for her than just stabbing her in that parking lot.

One of the best Dateline episodes ever, and with a happy ending no less.

[applecrisp]

7 hours ago, saber5055 said:

Cooks, that SO had to be Dirty John, wearing scrubs to a nice place. In that LA Times article, it describes Debra taking him to a charity event/dinner and he wore his scrubs when everyone else, of course, was in formal wear. There's even a photo of them that they posed for at the event. As the articles went on, Debra said she started to notice the pants were frayed at the bottom of the legs ... like my old jeans get when I wear them too much. I wondered why he didn't go to Good Will and buy some new scrubs. But then, his plan was working for him, so why change I guess.

I can't fault Debra for repeatedly taking John back. Every time she confronted him with something, he had some smooth excuse, then he would go into "You are the love of my life" script. Yes, she had red flags going off, but he kept smoozing over them. If you're a woman who has never met a using con man, it's impossible to understand. I have ... and I only got free when a detective and sheriff BOTH came to my house while I was there (because con men don't open the door to police) and arrested him. I've been alone since, and always will be, because of what he did to me. My trust for all men is gone. I completely understand Debra.

Also in the LA Time article, once Debra cut ties with John, he said the same hate-filled things to her as Dateline showed us he said to his ex-wife. And he was raised/taught that to hurt someone you do not attack/kill that person, you kill someone dear to them so the original person (Debra) would suffer forever. Which is why he targeted Terra. He had worse plans for her than just stabbing her in that parking lot.

One of the best Dateline episodes ever, and with a happy ending no less.

This one could have been 2 hours. They never seem to get that right.

Edited January 15, 2018 by applecrisp

[AZChristian]

When I see these con artists who actually succeed in roping a partner into marriage, one of the things that surprises me is that the innocent party must be bringing in enough money that the other person can spend money all day and the victim doesn't seem to notice that their bank account has taken a hit.

[tobeannounced]

What I don't understand is if Dirty John was an actual nurse anesthetist, they make a shit load of money, don't they? Why wasn't he practicing his profession instead of leeching off women?

[EtheltoTillie]

22 minutes ago, tobeannounced said:

What I don't understand is if Dirty John was an actual nurse anesthetist, they make a shit load of money, don't they? Why wasn't he practicing his profession instead of leeching off women?

Cause he was a drug addict and lost his license. He had been stealing the drugs. 

[tobeannounced]

2 minutes ago, GussieK said:

Cause he was a drug addict and lost his license. He had been stealing the drugs. 

Thank you, GussieK, I must have missed that nugget.

[atlantaloves]

Thanks, I was asking myself the same question. God, what a monster. 

[EtheltoTillie]

On 1/13/2018 at 11:27 AM, druzy said:

LA Times: Dirty John

Thanks for posting this. It's excellent reporting. He was even scarier than you could have imagined and it's good he is dead. I would rarely say that. 

[bubbls]

9 hours ago, cooksdelight said:

Yes, which was why one eye was on the freeway and one on the rear view mirror. He did follow us out, as we figured he would because he wanted to see where we lived. We didn’t tell him we were visiting from out of town. In fact, we lied a lot about ourselves because the guy was giving off a stalker vibe from the beginning. We were curious what he’d tell us about himself, and how far he’d take his story. He mentioned being divorced and having kids, and that he was a doctor..... ha, yeah, right. Doctors don’t wear scrubs to a nice restaurant, they wear a suit or nice clothes.

Anyway, I hit the gas once we got on the freeway and lost him.

So interesting! It makes me wonder if he always gave off that vibe or he was off his game that night. I was reading about animal predators last night. Nineteen out of twenty approaches are fails. I wonder what the human statistic would be. I’m going to assume the women he successfully conned were unable or unwilling to pick up on his creepiness. I know someone like this. She’s normal, smart, friendly.....and dumb as a rock when it comes to common sense suspicion, and I’m not just talking about with men but anything. She’s trusting to the point of I’d think she was mentally challenged if I didn’t know how smart she is. 

[UsernameFatigue]

After reading the Dirty John article from the LA Times I am even more annoyed at how stupid Debra was. As the writer of the article stated, not only were there red flags, there was a (friggin' - my word) parade! Right from the first night when they got into a fight because he would not leave her apartment (bed actually), and phoned her the next day saying he just wanted to spend every minute with her. Seriously?  To moving in together after 5 weeks to a place she put a year's rent down on, to marrying in less that two months from their first meeting.  But the thing that got me the most was the selfie pic posted in the article. I would assume John sent it to Debra at the same time she sent hers, which was the first pic she sent him. He told her he owned two homes, but in the pic he is in it seems obvious to me he is living in a small drab space. Mismatched couches including one which appears to have a sheet on it (using it for a bed?)  a fridge on the left hand side, cheap shelves holding miscellaneous stuff including kitchen knives, and he is obviously taking the pic looking at a mirror so that is the size of the space. Personally, that would be my first clue. Whether someone stole his stuff or not, they did not steal his home, and that appeared to be it. I was surprised to find out that Debra has 4 kids. I feel sorry for them as it is hard to know if Debra really did learn a lesson or not. 

Edited January 14, 2018 by UsernameFatigue

[ButterQueen]

On 1/1/2018 at 1:59 PM, saber5055 said:

I watched the Nicole-murdered-in-Montana rerun last night as I didn't remember if I had seen it before. Yeah to that Cody guy being butt-ugly plus gross, but Nicole and the other woman weren't fashion models and some women just can't be alone, they have to have some man, ny man, and get pregnant just so ... well, I don't know. They just do. It's like they have to have a man plus kids or they are losers. Plus Cody had super money from working that oil-fraking job (creep, fraking is horrible).

What I didn't get is why leave the car on the side of the road? And why leave the keys in it? Why not leave it in that town, where Nicole could have disappeared much easier. Who locks their car and leaves the keys in it if you are broken down?

Cody turning his phone off for the period of time tells me that's when he got rid of the barrel w/Nicole's body in it. That's the only time he DID use his brain since as the prosecutor said, he didn't think much otherwise.

It's such a waste of time to ask killers if they murdered someone. Has anyone anywhere ever answered yeah, I did it? When Cody said he hoped Nicole showed up sometime, I wish Josh would have said: "Oh, you mean you hope the barrel that you put her dead body in would be found?" Now THAT would have been gold.

Why wouldn't the FB texting guy go to the police? Why wouldn't the give-me-a-ride guy go to the police? I guess it's a Montana thing. I love Montana, but people are pretty trusting there, and so very nice.

When Cody rejected the plea offer -- TWICE -- and got life in prison, I shouted YEAH! YOU EFFER! to my tv screen. What a jackass. I'm hoping the barrel is found some day so the family can have some small closure.

Who ended up getting that house that was padlocked closed?

Which episode was this?  Thanks!

[EtheltoTillie]

1 hour ago, UsernameFatigue said:

After reading the Dirty John article from the LA Times I am even more annoyed at how stupid Debra was. As the writer of the article stated, not only were there red flags, there was a (friggin' - my word) parade! Right from the first night when they got into a fight because he would not leave her apartment (bed actually), and phoned her the next day saying he just wanted to spend every minute with her. Seriously?  To moving in together after 5 weeks to a place she put a year's rent down on, to marrying in less that two months from their first meeting.  But the thing that got me the most was the selfie pic posted in the article. I would assume John sent it to Debra at the same time she sent hers, which was the first pic she sent him. He told her he owned two homes, but in the pic he is in it seems obvious to me he is living in a small drab space. Mismatched couches including one which appears to have a sheet on it (using it for a bed?)  a fridge on the left hand side, cheap shelves holding miscellaneous stuff including kitchen knives, and he is obviously taking the pic looking at a mirror so that is the size of the space. Personally, that would be my first clue. Whether someone stole his stuff or not, they did not steal his home, and that appeared to be it. I was surprised to find out that Debra has 4 kids. I feel sorry for them as it is hard to know if Debra really did learn a lesson or not. 

I wish I could give this 100 likes. 

[ButterQueen]

On 1/13/2018 at 5:44 PM, applecrisp said:

Kudos to the 14 year old who heard the screaming. She too was a hero.

Absolutely!  She ran right towards the scene.  HERO!!

[ButterQueen]

On 1/13/2018 at 7:12 PM, emoxie said:

Unlurking to recommend that everyone listen to the Dirty John podcast! I listened to it a few months ago and then made two girlfriends listen to it with me again. It was easy to be frustrated with Debra at first but when you learn the family history and how her mother is, it explains so much. 

Her other daughter is featured on the podcast (and has the same manner of speaking as Terra) and talks about getting the GPS tracker and how she didn’t trust John from the beginning. They also talk with Debra’s nephew on the podcast about his encounters with John. 

I agree with the poster above that talked about these con men that hone in on susceptible women. I can’t fault Debra to some degree (again the family history) but I think once she was at risk of losing contact with her daughters and other family, she should have smartened up. Hard evidence of his misdeeds was provided to her a few times and she explained it away. 

I agree.  He even admitted he lied to her.  No man would be worth losing a relationship with my children.

18 hours ago, GussieK said:

I also knit while watching TV or listening to podcasts. 

I wish I could knit....sigh.

[ButterQueen]

6 hours ago, GussieK said:

Thanks for posting this. It's excellent reporting. He was even scarier than you could have imagined and it's good he is dead. I would rarely say that. 

I just started the article.  First paragraph....he placed her napkin in her lap on the first date.  NO!  I don't like being treated like I'm helpless or men being presumptuous.  I also hate when men order for women in restaurants.

Debra was divorced 4 times....I'm shocked!  ???

[Lisa418722]

I'm doing the online dating thing, but Deborah drove me crazy.  You do NOT act like you are desperate and you do listen to those people who know and care about you.  If they have red flags, listen to them.  The LA Times story was great.  Most 2-hour Dateline episodes could easily be one hour, but after reading the LA Times story, I wish this one had been two hours because of everything that was left out.  

[cooksdelight]

4 hours ago, bubbls said:

So interesting! It makes me wonder if he always gave off that vibe or he was off his game that night.

I think he always gives off the sleazy vibe and Debra was too blind to see the red flags. The guy had a boquet of them, but she wanted loooooooooove.

[MerBearHou]

On 1/13/2018 at 10:27 AM, druzy said:

LA Times: Dirty John

Thank you for posting this incredible, very in-depth article on Debra and Dirty John.  He was evil in human form.  The Dateline episode could have been an American Crime Story mini-series — so many chapters to this devil’s life and thank God, Debra and her family got away from him.....just barely.  

[JudyObscure]

12 hours ago, ButterQueen said:

 First paragraph....he placed her napkin in her lap on the first date

Yeah, the first time I went to a really nice restaurant and the waiter started to put my napkin in my lap, I almost smacked him.  What man first thought it would be a nice touch to bend that far over a woman, put his face next to her chest and put his hands that close to her lap?  Personal space, dude!

I had to go back and watch this one online after learning that Cooksdelight  met him. You, go Cooks!  Drive that freeway!

Debra needs therapy before she ever goes near  another man.  I just have to wonder what was so bad about the father of her children that he had to be divorced, but this unwashed, unemployed creep was kept around even after he yelled at her daughter? 

Terra may be the best person we've met on Dateline!  That little whispery voice talking about the Zombie kill shot as she describes plunging a knife through a man's eye.  Hah!  Terra, her brave little dog and the 14 year-old lifeguard all deserve metals, although the  girl's mother should not have let her run out there.

[ButterQueen]

2 hours ago, JudyObscure said:

Yeah, the first time I went to a really nice restaurant and the waiter started to put my napkin in my lap, I almost smacked him.  What man first thought it would be a nice touch to bend that far over a woman, put his face next to her chest and put his hands that close to her lap?  Personal space, dude!

I had to go back and watch this one online after learning that Cooksdelight  met him. You, go Cooks!  Drive that freeway!

Debra needs therapy before she ever goes near  another man.  I just have to wonder what was so bad about the father of her children that he had to be divorced, but this unwashed, unemployed creep was kept around even after he yelled at her daughter? 

Terra may be the best person we've met on Dateline!  That little whispery voice talking about the Zombie kill shot as she describes plunging a knife through a man's eye.  Hah!  Terra, her brave little dog and the 14 year-old lifeguard all deserve metals, although the  girl's mother should not have let her run out there.

I believe the 14 year old was returning from the beach.  

[ari333]

Don't people who actually do surgery and wear scrubs come out of surgery with .... unclean scrubs? Not frayed at the hem. And the fingernails were a dead giveaway. Debra didn't want to see it. She was attractive, had two great daughters, had money, had a business or two  or more. She was in her 50s (?) and slightly overweight so society or she, herself, may have seen herself as less than and incomplete without a man... even this one.  The daughter is lucky to be alive.  Good for her. 

[walnutqueen]

50 minutes ago, ari333 said:

Don't people who actually do surgery and wear scrubs come out of surgery with .... unclean scrubs?

Usually not anesthesiologists; they tend to stay fairly unsoiled, for the most part.  They still don't tend to wear their scrubs outside the hospital.

Debra seemed hell bent on lying to herself.  The denial was strong in that one.

[galleta]

14 hours ago, cooksdelight said:

I think he always gives off the sleazy vibe and Debra was too blind to see the red flags. The guy had a boquet of them, but she wanted loooooooooove.

I think his good looks also helped in his con game. The LA times article even stated that she had gone on other dates from the website but the guys were not as handsome.  

[EtheltoTillie]

1 hour ago, ButterQueen said:

I believe the 14 year old was returning from the beach.  

Actually, she had already come home.  She told her mother to call 911 and she ran outside!  Amazing! 

[The Closer]

I can understand why Debra bugged people and I think that's fair, but I personally don't judge her so harshly. The world is full of people whose kids who don't always manage their parents dating very well and who wrongly try to interfere. Debra did more than most do which is seek therapy about it. Unfortunately, the therapy likely led Debra in a direction that was the exact opposite of what was in her best interest. It may be a result of the therapist being given bad/incomplete info by Debra, but Debra was encouraged to set boundaries with her daughters by someone Debra saw as an objective third party. I can imagine it would be difficult to hear your daughters effectively after that. 

I think it's easy to believe we'd never fall prey to someone like John and to see all of the obvious red flags and wonder why the woman stayed, but Debra isn't the first person to want to believe in the fantasy she created in her mind in spite of the glaring truth. It's not something I judge her for, I just mostly feel sorry for her. I don't doubt that there is an enormous amount of guilt and I think both Debra and her daughters will have a lot of healing to do. I wish them well, primarily because I don't want them to allow John the power to continue to victimize them from his grave.

[ridethemaverick]

16 hours ago, cooksdelight said:

I think he always gives off the sleazy vibe and Debra was too blind to see the red flags. The guy had a boquet of them, but she wanted loooooooooove.

 

You must have a fascinating life. I'm on a few other boards with you and you always seem to have a personal connection to everything. You need a movie of the week! :D

[UsernameFatigue]

I haven't had a chance to listen to the podcasts, but did go on Dateline's FB page to read comments there. There was a link to someone named Kathy Monkman HIgham's blog about the case. Debra herself actually makes some comments, and claims to be a victim of John. However many feel that Debra liked the attention and drama of life with John. Apparently (and I think this is on the podcasts?) she had a restraining order against John among other things, and still travelled to Las Vegas alone to meet him, even though he had threatened the lives of her children and her nephew. The comments on the FB page are quite interesting, and it seems like one does need to listen to the podcasts to get a clear picture of Debra, and what she continued to do with regards to John even after being shown clear evidence of his lies and the danger he was to her family. 

[KittyMom4]

On 1/14/2018 at 0:22 PM, saber5055 said:

I can't fault Debra for repeatedly taking John back. Every time she confronted him with something, he had some smooth excuse, then he would go into "You are the love of my life" script. Yes, she had red flags going off, but he kept smoozing over them. If you're a woman who has never met a using con man, it's impossible to understand. I have ... and I only got free when a detective and sheriff BOTH came to my house while I was there (because con men don't open the door to police) and arrested him. I've been alone since, and always will be, because of what he did to me. My trust for all men is gone. I completely understand Debra.

Yes to this! While it never got as far as having police intervention, I too fell for a smooth-talking manipulator who took advantage of my trust until I finally woke up to the lies and kicked him to the curb once and for all. He kept up his lies to the bitter end, and I feel sorry for whomever his next victim is.

[ridethemaverick]

49 minutes ago, UsernameFatigue said:

I haven't had a chance to listen to the podcasts, but did go on Dateline's FB page to read comments there. There was a link to someone named Kathy Monkman HIgham's blog about the case. Debra herself actually makes some comments, and claims to be a victim of John. However many feel that Debra liked the attention and drama of life with John. Apparently (and I think this is on the podcasts?) she had a restraining order against John among other things, and still travelled to Las Vegas alone to meet him, even though he had threatened the lives of her children and her nephew. The comments on the FB page are quite interesting, and it seems like one does need to listen to the podcasts to get a clear picture of Debra, and what she continued to do with regards to John even after being shown clear evidence of his lies and the danger he was to her family. 

Right, it wasn't just that she fell for his lies. She continued to be with him even after he threatened to kill her nephew, whose own mother was killed by her husband. Even if I can excuse her believing his stories, I can't excuse something like that. We're not talking about a woman with no job who is dependent on her abusive husband and can't leave. This was the total opposite...she was bankrolling his entire life and kept seeking him out.

[ButterQueen]

52 minutes ago, UsernameFatigue said:

I haven't had a chance to listen to the podcasts, but did go on Dateline's FB page to read comments there. There was a link to someone named Kathy Monkman HIgham's blog about the case. Debra herself actually makes some comments, and claims to be a victim of John. However many feel that Debra liked the attention and drama of life with John. Apparently (and I think this is on the podcasts?) she had a restraining order against John among other things, and still travelled to Las Vegas alone to meet him, even though he had threatened the lives of her children and her nephew. The comments on the FB page are quite interesting, and it seems like one does need to listen to the podcasts to get a clear picture of Debra, and what she continued to do with regards to John even after being shown clear evidence of his lies and the danger he was to her family. 

.......and her stubbornness almost killed her daughter.  What a fool she was.

[crazyirishlady]

My husband sent me a link to the show.  The guy, “Dirty John”, rented the house we bought just prior to our buying it.  The police came to search it for drugs after all this stuff went down in Dayton...creepy....we still to this day get random mail for him.....

[saber5055]

Thank you, The Closer, for an insightful, well-thought-out and compassionate post, and to GoodieGirl, for sharing a small bit of your association with a "charmer." I'm so glad you got away before it was too late. As I posted earlier, it's easy to quick-judge Debra based on your own NON experience with a con man. But as someone who was in nearly the same situation as Debra (only this guy was working on me to commit suicide), I would never think of judging her for what she did or did not do. Only those who have walked in those same shoes can understand what it is to be damaged. Good on her for letting her story be told, on national television and in the newspaper -- and now online. I call that brave, not something to be scoffed at or ridiculed for.

[rwgrab]

For anybody interested in the Dirty John case, I would highly recommend listening to the podcast.  I can totally understand walking away from this hour of TV thinking either a) Debra is a fool for staying with this guy or b) Debra fell victim to a skilled manipulator.  Both are valid based on how you view her situation.

Sorry if this part is off-topic, but some of this is from what I heard in the podcast.  For me, I think Debra does bare some responsibility for her situation.  If you listen to her tell the story, she always seems to hear what she wants to hear without going too far below the surface.  For instance, she says things like her therapist "gave her permission" to ignore what her daughters were saying.  Maybe, but I'm guessing it was a much more complicated discussion than that, probably with some nuance or at least some caveats about what the consequences of that might be.  But Debra kinds falls back on that as an excuse for why she ignored her daughters.  That superficiality is to her detriment in ensuring her safety and the safety of her children, and her decisions are still her own.  And then the last straw was her going to visit him in a different city after getting the restraining order and spending the night there.  That is her decision; not something he made her do.

[12catcrazy]

"Dirty John" was one of the better Datelines I've seen and I guess that great minds think alike because I also thought that the reason we didn't see Debra's other daughter (Jacqueline?) was because John killed her.   I guess that Dateline purposely wanted it to appear that way.  

I find it sad that someone as attractive as Debra and apparently so well-off could be so lonely and desperate for love and affection that she would fall prey to a guy like Dirty John.  A woman like her could  be really picky about who she would get involved with, but she was anything but picky.   Thank God Terra had a thing for zombie tv shows and lots of guts, and that 14 year old girl got involved as well.   I read the 6 part LA Times article and Dateline left out alot - fascinating reading.  

[cooksdelight]

3 hours ago, ridethemaverick said:

 

You must have a fascinating life. I'm on a few other boards with you and you always seem to have a personal connection to everything. You need a movie of the week! :D

HA!! The friend who was with me is the same, she always seems to land in the right place at the right time, or so to speak. We took a boat over to Catalina Island and she tugged my sleeve... “Look!! Over there!! It’s Robert Wagner! He’s come back to the scene of the crime!! Let’s go follow him around!” LOL!!  We were on the freeway and saw a Channel 7 news van hauling ass... we hauled ass right behind it to see where it went. Into Beverly Hills we drove, and there was a commotion outside someone’s home. Later that night, it was on the news that some rapper had been in a fight with his girlfriend.

[cooksdelight]

2 hours ago, crazyirishlady said:

 

My husband sent me a link to the show.  The guy, “Dirty John”, rented the house we bought just prior to our buying it.  The police came to search it for drugs after all this stuff went down in Dayton...creepy....we still to this day get random mail for him.....

 

Um... would you care to share some of that mail with us, what it is, when you get some??? :D

[crazyirishlady]

Quote

3 hours ago, cooksdelight said:

Um... would you care to share some of that mail with us, what it is, when you get some??? :D

 

We moved into our house in July of 2001.  In 2002 sometime he got in trouble for stealing hospital drugs.  At that time, they asked us if they could search our house to see if there may be some drugs he hid there when he lived there.  There is a back attic that’s very hard to access and we had never been up there...that is where they searched.  There were some boxes they took, but it never really knew what was in them....and to be honest, I forgot all about them until I watched the show.

At first the mail we got was weird...practically everything a normal person gets in the mail...credit card bills, car payment bills, insurance notifications...kinda like he didn’t leave a forwarding address...now we intermittently get nurse anesthetist journals and creditor letters...I didn’t know he was dead until I watched the show....

I guess it really is a small world...

[metalchik]

16 hours ago, GoodieGirl said:

Yes to this! While it never got as far as having police intervention, I too fell for a smooth-talking manipulator who took advantage of my trust until I finally woke up to the lies and kicked him to the curb once and for all. He kept up his lies to the bitter end, and I feel sorry for whomever his next victim is.

Sadly, I too fell for someone like this a few years ago.  Add drugs (crack) to the mix and it was a recipe for disaster for sure.  At the time, I didn't even know what crack was but didn't take long to figure it out.  It was a very short relationship.  But he too poured on the sugary, sweet love language and I was too dumb at first to realize it was all a bunch of crap.  I still to this day can't believe I fell for his schtick and have a lot of guilt about some of the stuff that went down.  

However, you can bet your ass I can now spot a narcissist and a crack head 10 miles out. lol

[KittyMom4]

5 hours ago, metalchik said:

But he too poured on the sugary, sweet love language and I was too dumb at first to realize it was all a bunch of crap.  I still to this day can't believe I fell for his schtick and have a lot of guilt about some of the stuff that went down.  

Me too, especially when I think to the times my daughters and my best friend pointed out the obvious and I refused to see it. I wasted years believing what he told me and allowing him to make me question my own instincts. Once I woke up to the truth it was like a smack in the face to how blind I had been, thankfully my daughters and friends are forgiving. I think it does make you acutely aware of narcissists from that point on though, once I started dating again I could sense it within in the first 10 minutes of the date, dodged a few bullets but finally met the greatest guy on earth. We gullible ones do wisen up sooner or later @metalchik!

[metalchik]

Just now, GoodieGirl said:

Me too, especially when I think to the times my daughters and my best friend pointed out the obvious and I refused to see it. I wasted years believing what he told me and allowing him to make me question my own instincts

Yes!  My son and his friends knew too.  Ugh.  That's the worse for me to think back on.

1 minute ago, GoodieGirl said:

We gullible ones do wisen up sooner or later @metalchik!

I too have moved on to a great guy - but I won't lie - that particular relationship makes me stay on my toes for sure!

[bubbls]

I guess I was lucky. I met my narcissist at 14. We had an innocent teen romance, he broke my 14-year-old heart for about a week, and it cured me of narcissistic playas. And yeah, he was already a playa at 14. He tried his best to deflower me. 

[ari333]

Did you guys see, "Troubled Waters?"

[cooksdelight]

The title sounds familiar, was it a repeat?

[lexytheblasian]

20 hours ago, ari333 said:

Did you guys see, "Troubled Waters?"

Is that the story about the woman who they thought died in a boating accident at first, but years later the new girlfriend of the husband came forward and said the woman was actually murdered? I think Investigation Discovery had a special on that case, too.

19 hours ago, cooksdelight said:

The title sounds familiar, was it a repeat?

I think it aired a few years ago.

[RedheadZombie]

Wow. Tonight's episode . . .

i can't believe we have another ignorant Casey Anthony/O.J. jury, but in reverse.  How could they overlook that incompetent police work?  To have never tested the safe handle for DNA or prints.  To miss that backpack and a bunch of jewelry on the ground. To never question the witnesses who found her. So, so incompetent. 

I could have used a two hour episode. I wanted to hear more of the defense questioning the witnesses.  Surely there the doctor was called who found her head wound. Surely a neurologist was put on the stand to testify to her behavior during questioning and how a seizure plus a blow to the head would have affected her.  Did they test her drug levels of seizure meds?  Do an EEG or brain scan?

And how ridiculous that she would have given him a seductive massage in the closet. And how many times have we been told on these shows that it's almost impossible to stab someone to death without self-sustained cuts?  It's impossible for someone to break in, stab to death, and run out without leaving blood?  Wouldn't it have been equally impossible to butcher your husband, clean up the scene impeccably, and make sure you and your closet have not one drop of blood?  

I sure hope the attorney put the witness on the stand and asked how many hours and people did it take to figure out the trick of bracing the door, and figuring out how to precisely place the knots to tie yourself up with.  The prosecutor should have been made to start with a straight tie and tie it up before she twisted it on in her little demo.

Surely the family testified that the chair had to be kicked away and the ties had to be cut. And the first set of bruise-less pics seemed to have taken place outside in the dark.  This seems the sort of case that should have never made it to trial. 

[cooksdelight]

I was never so appalled at shoddy shitty police work as I was last night. And the DA wasn’t any better. It was if they all had blinders on where the obvious evidence was concerned. Unknown male DNA in the house....on the backpack....and there’s no way that woman tied herself up as tightly as she was. I think she had a seizure, or was hit on the head and had one, and blacked out. There were no hints of any problems in the marriage. 

That woman’s innocent and I hope her attorney can get her conviction overturned.

[Lizzing]

I know that the prosecutor doesn't have to prove motive, but come on, she wanted out of the marriage for zero reason, so she just decided to do this elaborate set up of a robbery, self tie up, and murder?  No money motive, no affair, no whispers of trouble in the marriage, no nosy neighbors who heard fighting?  There have been cases where one spouse was incapacitated and left for dead but survived, while the perps went on to kill the other spouse, such as the terrible Cheshire murders, so the scenario isn't beyond the possible.

That, added on top of what has to be the shittiest police work in recent true crime memory (hell, the cops in the JonBenet case look competent in comparison), I have no idea how the jury unanimously concluded she was guilty.  Any good cop would have at least interviewed the shady neighbor and the daughter's ex husband, if for nothing else to rule them out and bolster the prosecution's case.  Assuming what Dateline presented was accurate, I hope the appeal is successful, but given that it's Texas, it is going to be a hard row to hoe.