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Milestone Moments: All The Celebrity Vitals


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(edited)
4 hours ago, Blergh said:

Hence, unless I know that there is  evidence to the contrary re their personal preferences (e.g.  Ms. Steinem instead of Mrs. Bale), I refer to female spouses of hetero couples as 'Mrs. X' instead of 'Ms. Y'.

I refer to people by their actual names unless I have personal knowledge they prefer something else, or have used another name interchangeably. I have no exception for "unless they're a woman who married a man [even though in the nearly 35 years since the wedding she never changed her name]".  I would no more call Betsy Arakawa "Mrs. Hackman" than I'd call Gene Hackman "Mr. Arakawa" based solely on the existence of the marriage; her name was her name, period, and here there's the additional fact she wasn't "just" his wife, she had her own career so her name was publicly known [in certain circles, nowhere near as widely as his] professionally as well as personally.

And, with that, I'll step away from this flogged horse.

Edited by Bastet
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(edited)
34 minutes ago, Bastet said:

I refer to people by their actual names unless I have personal knowledge they prefer something else, or have used another name interchangeably. I have no exception for "unless they're a woman who married a man [even though in the nearly 35 years since the wedding she never changed her name]".  I would no more call Betsy Arakawa "Mrs. Hackman" than I'd call Gene Hackman "Mr. Arakawa" based solely on the existence of the marriage; her name was her name, period, and here there's the additional fact she wasn't "just" his wife; she had her own career so her name was publicly known [in certain circles, nowhere near as widely as his] professionally as well as personally.

And, with that, I'll step away from this flogged horse.

That's thinking intellectually and in the abstract. Real people 'on the street' think with emotion.

 

Edited by tearknee
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So my husband and I are in the car with some random satellite station on and this song comes on.  We have never heard it before but it was one of those songs that transported you instantly to the 80s and was pretty catchy/campy.  We weren't even paying attention to the lyrics, just the vibe of the song.  My husband said 'We have to Shazam this.  I need to know what this is. It sounds like if Human League and the Pet Shop Boys collaborated on a gay anthem'.  Again we were not paying any attention to the lyrics at all.  We sat there car dancing to it goofily.

So Shazam it we did and it turned out to be a song called 'Swaheto Woman' by David Johansen.  Mind you the lyrics were in no way a gay anthem, LOL. They were telling this woman she was beautiful and strong and would be free.  But my husband's description fit so well the music of it.

Anways, RIP David Johansen.

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As per the Associated Press,

It just hit the news that Carl Thomas Dean, the husband of Dolly Parton since 1966 died today, Monday, March 3,2025 at age 82. The family already has had a private memorial for him.

 They sure beat LOTS of odds and evidently had a good life together.

I hope Miss Parton will be able to draw strength from the good times the two of them had together.

RIP, Mr. Dean.

Edited by Blergh
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1 hour ago, Is Everyone Gone said:

Prayers to Dolly Parton! I don't "root" for celebrity couples but I always found them adorable. I liked the way he quietly supported his wife for so many years.

I think Dolly Parton and her husband, Carl Thomas Dean, a former asphalt paver, who were married for over 60 years, were about as far away from a "celebrity couple" as you could get.

Sorry for all the commas.

Edited by Ancaster
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On 3/3/2025 at 8:40 PM, Ancaster said:

I think Dolly Parton and her husband, Carl Thomas Dean, a former asphalt paver, who were married for over 60 years, were about as far away from a "celebrity couple" as you could get.

Sorry for all the commas.

The late Mr. Dean had become a successful contractor and somewhat wealthy in his own right (though I don't think anywhere as much as his more famous spouse).

Well, one of Miss Parton's more recent musings about their union displayed both her love for him- and her sense of humor about herself (I may be paraphrasing the following but this was the gist!)

"I know every one of the white hairs on his head and he knows every stitch of  my wigs' netting! "

She also gave him credit for being a fan of rock music and said it was HIS tastes that got her to do the rock album with duets a few years back.

Anyway, I'm glad they had each other as long as they did!

 

Edited by Blergh
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5 hours ago, Blergh said:

She also gave him credit for being a fan of rock music and said it was HIS tastes that got her to do the rock album with duets a few years back.

First and foremost to justify her spot in the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (which she initially turned down), but, yeah, once she decided to go for it, most of the songs she chose to cover were among his favorites because he knew the genre so well.  I love her description of his reaction to it:  He said it was "pretty good", which was the equivalent of "somebody else jumping up and down and saying, ‘That’s great!’”  I heard another interview, but I can't remember the media outlet, where she said the same thing but added "with pom poms" to the jumping up and down part, and the imagery of what the low-key Dean's words translated to in a more excitable sort of person entertains me.

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5 hours ago, Fool to cry said:

They show a picture of Carl Dean in the beginning of this 1987 video of "To Know Him" by Dolly, Linda Ronstadt, and Emmylou Harris directed by Ronstadt's then boyfriend George Lucas. The other photos are of Lucas and Harris' then husband Paul Kennerley. Carl Dean's photo is the last.

 

Beautiful voices.

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1 hour ago, Spartan Girl said:

Just a big sad tragedy.

It doesn't happen often but it does happen.  I remember during Covid there were several stories about spouses dying unattended because by the time they realized they were really sick they couldn't summon help 😔.

Edited by Dimity
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18 hours ago, Annber03 said:

Oh, man, that's awful. I'm not very familiar with that illness, but damn. That's really sad. 

Ms. Arakawa's death from that illness is sad but what's infuriating is that her widower Mr. Hackman had developed 'severe Alzheimer's Disease' [not uncommon for 95-year-olds]. .yet NO ONE seemed to consider to so much as phone to see how they were doing- much less check in on them. As a result, he wandered about the house unable to care for himself or understand what was going on. .and devoid of human company for X number of days before his own sad demise. .and they wouldn't be found for another week!

Why was this allowed to happen? Did none of the above consider checking in on this couple much less offer Ms Arakawa some help [if not relief] in having to care for her Alzheimer's afflicted spouse?i

Yes, I'm ANGRY that this has happened and I can't help but think at the very least Mr. Hackman's end didn't need to have happened this way!

FOR SHAME!

Edited by Blergh
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39 minutes ago, Blergh said:

NO ONE seemed to consider to so much as phone to see how they were doing- much less check in on them.

Without knowing all the details I think this may come down to basically the family probably did not check in to speak with Gene Hackman because there was no point given the Alzheimer's, sadly, and they assumed that a 63 yr old woman who they would have had no reason to believe was not in good health would communicate with them if there were any issues. 

 

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11 minutes ago, Dimity said:

Without knowing all the details I think this may come down to basically the family probably did not check in to speak with Gene Hackman because there was no point given the Alzheimer's, sadly, and they assumed that a 63 yr old woman who they would have had no reason to believe was not in good health would communicate with them if there were any issues. 

Agreed. It is frustrating to learn that in hindsight, someone could tell when his pacemaker stopped functioning. Apparently that isn’t something that’s actively monitored? Maybe it should be. Even though in this case, it would have been too late. 

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10 minutes ago, SoMuchTV said:

Apparently that isn’t something that’s actively monitored? Maybe it should be. Even though in this case, it would have been too late. 

At best they would have found the bodies sooner, which would be something but it wouldn't have saved him.  That said I had no idea that a pacemaker sends info to your doctor - my father has a pacemaker and I wonder if this is dependent on the kind of pacemaker you have or is it automatic for all?  Must ask my Dad if this is something his does.

Edited by Dimity
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(edited)
49 minutes ago, Dimity said:

At best they would have found the bodies sooner, which would be something but it wouldn't have saved him.  That said I had no idea that a pacemaker sends info to your doctor - my father has a pacemaker and I wonder if this is dependent on the kind of pacemaker you have or is it automatic for all?  Must ask my Dad if this is something his does.

Doctors can get information from pacemakers, but it is not routine  The pacemaker stores informaton as to how it is functioning as well as various information about the patient's heart rate, etc.  This information can be downloaded and evaluated by the doctor as needed.  For example, someone with a pacemaker has a dizzy spell.  The doctor can go back and review the data from the time when it occurred to see if the pacemaker was malfunctioning or something else was going on. That's what happened in Hackman's case.  The coroner was able to get the data from the pacer and approximate a time of death based on when the pacemaker stopped firing because the heart was no longer beating on its own.

Currently, there are several million people with pacemakers in the US.  There is no way the data from all of those devices could be monitored 24/7 to pick up problems, and, once the heart stops and the pacemaker is no longer functioning, it would be too late to summon help anyway.

We don't know what sort of contact the Hackmans had with the outside world or what sort of monitoring they wanted or allowed. His wife was known in town and was out and about running errands in mid-February. I presume that she had power of attorney and was managing all of their financial and personal affairs for some time and was probably very capable.  If she didn't  check in regularly with friends and family, that was her choice.  I live alone, I am older than her and I certainly don't expect or need people to check on me daily.

Betsy was probably managing his medications including ones for his heart.  It could well be that he died because when she died, he stopped receiving his meds.

15 minutes ago, Is Everyone Gone said:

I have a feeling Gene Hackman was probably low contact with his kids. They obviously didn't check on him.

Or, due to the Alzheimer's, he really wasn't capable of maintaining contact or interacting with them.  He'd been married for decades to a woman who, by all accounts, was quite a good caregiver and may have kept them informed of any changes in his condition; so they felt confident she would keep them posted.  That she might die first from a rare virus that is rapidly fatal is not something most people would anticipate.

Edited by Notabug
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6 minutes ago, Is Everyone Gone said:

I have a feeling Gene Hackman was probably low contact with his kids. They obviously didn't check on him.

I consider myself close with most of my family but it isn’t unusual to go two weeks without talking and we all live in the same city. Occasionally I worry, particularly if I don’t get a response to a text, but for the most part I assume I will hear if there is anything to hear. 

When my mom was sick, I know she would go that long without talking to my siblings at times. They didn’t worry because I was there. If something catastrophic happened, I could see it taking some time before anyone realized. But, when things got really bad we were in daily contact. 

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3 hours ago, Raja said:

Some of our siblings are in touch weekly, others only at Thanksgiving and Christmas, if that often. People fall on a spectrum.

And he admitted he wasn’t the best father due to working all the time.  That’s not to say they were estranged, just that they were probably a casual contact family.  I call my sort of step mom every week to check on her and my step dad, even tho they live in separate facilities now (she visits him once a week, so keeps me updated).  But not everyone has that close a relationship with their parent’s spouse.

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Well, if ANY of Mr. Hackman's or Miss Arakawa's associates, colleagues, employees, or family members had used even a quarter of the energy that others  have used to attempt to explain and/or excuse away their inaction towards the couple (and even their dog), any ONE of them could have driven by to check in on them (if local) or picked up the phone to try to ring them up to see how they were doing.

However NONE of them appear to have attempted to have done so in all those days from Miss Arakawa's last communications until their remains were found- and, as a result, it appears that Mr. Hackman in his severe Alzheimer's state (with greatly diminished capacity) was left to fend for him evidently unable to comprehend his longtime spouse's demise [possibly thinking she was asleep] much less seek out help or even feed himself or their dogs while completely devoid of human company in the last week of his life.

And, I'm not overlooking how it appears that this 60-something Ms. Arakawa appeared to have been the sole caregiver for Mr. Hackman and their canine companions yet it appears that no one in the know  offered to have assisted much less to have relieved her in the months before her own demise- and caregivers of the elderly (especially with dementia) are truly among the most overwhelmed and underappreciated  folks out there.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!  to all of the above!

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1 hour ago, Blergh said:

Well, if ANY of Mr. Hackman's or Miss Arakawa's associates, colleagues, employees, or family members had used even a quarter of the energy that others  have used to attempt to explain and/or excuse away their inaction towards the couple (and even their dog), any ONE of them could have driven by to check in on them (if local) or picked up the phone to try to ring them up to see how they were doing.

However NONE of them appear to have attempted to have done so in all those days from Miss Arakawa's last communications until their remains were found- and, as a result, it appears that Mr. Hackman in his severe Alzheimer's state (with greatly diminished capacity) was left to fend for him evidently unable to comprehend his longtime spouse's demise [possibly thinking she was asleep] much less seek out help or even feed himself or their dogs while completely devoid of human company in the last week of his life.

And, I'm not overlooking how it appears that this 60-something Ms. Arakawa appeared to have been the sole caregiver for Mr. Hackman and their canine companions yet it appears that no one in the know  offered to have assisted much less to have relieved her in the months before her own demise- and caregivers of the elderly (especially with dementia) are truly among the most overwhelmed and underappreciated  folks out there.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!  to all of the above!

You are making a lot of assumptions I am just not comfortable making and that don’t line up with my lived experience or what I have read about Hackman. 

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(edited)
Quote

And, I'm not overlooking how it appears that this 60-something Ms. Arakawa appeared to have been the sole caregiver for Mr. Hackman and their canine companions yet it appears that no one in the know  offered to have assisted much less to have relieved her in the months before her own demise- and caregivers of the elderly (especially with dementia) are truly among the most overwhelmed and underappreciated  folks out there.

@Blergh   That's certainly true but we really don't know what was going on in their lives and whether anyone did provide some relief at times. I have elderly friends of my parents who are  both struggling with dementia.  One more advanced than the other but still very functioning and they are still living in the house they've been in for over 40 years.  Their children are trying to get them to move into a retirement home with a memory care floor but as long as they refuse this there is only so much their children (who live in a different province) can do.

Edited by Dimity
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31 minutes ago, Dimity said:

That's certainly true but we really don't know what was going on in their lives and whether anyone did provide some relief at times. I have elderly friends of my parents who are  both struggling with dementia.  One more advanced than the other but still very functioning and they are still living in the house they've been in for over 40 years.  Their children are trying to get them to move into a retirement home with a memory care floor but as long as they refuse this there is only so much their children (who live in a different province) can do.

I was very confused when I saw my name on the quote before I realized what happened.

 I Didnt Say That Canadian GIF by CBC

I agree with you. I have a family going through the same thing with her in-laws. She is trying very hard to make sure someone with dementia is taken care of but getting very little help/being stonewalled from the spouse who also has medical issues. 

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4 hours ago, Blergh said:

Well, if ANY of Mr. Hackman's or Miss Arakawa's associates, colleagues, employees, or family members had used even a quarter of the energy that others  have used to attempt to explain and/or excuse away their inaction towards the couple (and even their dog), any ONE of them could have driven by to check in on them (if local) or picked up the phone to try to ring them up to see how they were doing.

However NONE of them appear to have attempted to have done so in all those days from Miss Arakawa's last communications until their remains were found- and, as a result, it appears that Mr. Hackman in his severe Alzheimer's state (with greatly diminished capacity) was left to fend for him evidently unable to comprehend his longtime spouse's demise [possibly thinking she was asleep] much less seek out help or even feed himself or their dogs while completely devoid of human company in the last week of his life.

And, I'm not overlooking how it appears that this 60-something Ms. Arakawa appeared to have been the sole caregiver for Mr. Hackman and their canine companions yet it appears that no one in the know  offered to have assisted much less to have relieved her in the months before her own demise- and caregivers of the elderly (especially with dementia) are truly among the most overwhelmed and underappreciated  folks out there.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!  to all of the above!

There are a hundred reasons why nobody would know anything had happened to them with the neglect of family, friends, colleagues, employees or associates etc. being number 1001.

Sometimes shit happens & no amount of hindsight will stop shit from happening. And I'm sure some of those people are beating themselves up over what they could have done differently without people who don't know them piling on with all sorts of coulda, woulda, shoulda reasoning.

The internet should have stopped at cat videos & things like this whole sorry episode show why.

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