S15.E15: Are You My Person?

[Emma Snyder]

Quote

With Decision Day just over a week away, the anxiety increases for everyone; one couple finds out if absence really does make the heart grow fonder, while another struggles with a difficult goodbye.  Now that they are truly learning what their spouses are really like in everyday life, the question looms: can they really spend the rest of their lives together as a married couple?

Watch preview here.

Airs Wednesday October 12 at 8:00PM EDT.

[Emma Snyder]

Please also discuss Afterparty here.

[Crashcourse]

SHUT THE FUCK UP LINDY!!!!!!!!

[mythoughtis]

Miguel said ‘ I wasn’t that angry.  I was annoyed and my heart rate was elevated’.  And she accepts that. 
so it’s not Lindy’s 10 on a 10 point scale we need to worry about, it’s his.   
 

and back in the apartment. Miguel get out of your head.  Stop talking to Lindy as if it is decision day and  you are listing all the reasons you are saying no. 

Edited October 13, 2022 by mythoughtis

[Crashcourse]

I can certainly understand why Miguel's heart rate was elevated.  Mine would be, too, if I had to listen to her blathering on and on and on, punctuated by f-bombs.  I guess she's happy now that she's got her health insurance. 🙄

I have a feeling that Justin and his friend have already agreed that Justin will get his dog back as soon as he and Alexis break up. 

[mythoughtis]

12 minutes ago, Crashcourse said:

I have a feeling that Justin and his friend have already agreed that Justin will get his dog back as soon as he and Alexis break up. 

Definitely. There’s no doubt they will break up. 

Edited October 13, 2022 by mythoughtis

[kristen111]

11 minutes ago, mythoughtis said:

Definitely 

If Justin feels like he’s been played, why did he give the dog away so soon?  Why not wait until decision day, or a few weeks after?

[kikicat]

Nate bringing the truth on Alexis. 

lol Stacia's faces at Nate's choices of hardware 🙄😮 😟😲☠️

[mythoughtis]

Stacia  has no clue what being a parent is.  Between her unrealistic idea of children in an all White House and thinking she will not have to give up something to parent…. 

Edited October 13, 2022 by mythoughtis

[kristen111]

Nate feels the house, any house, should be theirs.  Not just hers.  He then would have to give her half if they want to stay in her house.  Everything legal with an Attorney.

[kikicat]

15 minutes ago, mythoughtis said:

Stacia  has no clue what being a parent is.  Between her unrealistic idea of children in an all White House and thinking she will not have to give up something to parent…. 

If the plan is Nate being the stay-at-home parent, she can just waltz out the door, then blame him when they put handprints on her pristine white walls. Neither of them seems ready to have kids. Or realistic, as you said.

Edited October 13, 2022 by kikicat

[mythoughtis]

Mitch can’t wear a goofy shirt for five minutes at a cast event.  He gripes about everything.  Then he goes to a conference, takes off his ring, calls himself single and goes out on the town and gets drunk.  Really?  Doesn’t sound like our Mitch. 
 

I do actually understand why he didn’t want ‘ the whole company’ to know he got married if he was just going to call it off in a few more days. However I think the tv show eventually gives the news away 

 

Edited October 13, 2022 by mythoughtis

[kikicat]

Yikes! I just realized that Mitch looks so much like one of my high school teachers. He was a save the world/lets take off our shoes and have an encounter group/white sugar is death kind of guy

Maybe put the ring back on before you meet up with the wifey, Surfer Boy.

My Amish Sin. OK, I'm there for it, Lifetime. Has got to be better than Seduced by My Evil Stepson or Yet Another Small-Town Christmas. 

Edited October 13, 2022 by kikicat

[Mr. Miner]

Yay! I can go to the doctor now! 🖕🏻Lindy!

[kikicat]

2 minutes ago, Mr. Miner said:

Yay! I can go to the doctor now! 🖕🏻Lindy!

Is that a proctologist emoji? 

(Let's hope Lindy doesn't have a prostate.)

Edited October 13, 2022 by kikicat

[mythoughtis]

Shut up Miguel.  You go on and on  about being disrespected.  You talked to your friend.  She doesn’t have to tell you what she said  to hers. Go marry Morgan If you are so concerned about Lindy talking to a friend. You sound just like Morgan 

oh look, next week they all talk to their friends.  

Edited October 13, 2022 by mythoughtis

[kristen111]

10 minutes ago, Mr. Miner said:

Yay! I can go to the doctor now! 🖕🏻Lindy!

She better go quick.  It doesn’t look good.

[kristen111]

Nate and Statia are very far apart on what marriage means.  She looks very confident he will say yes to stay married.  I’m not so sure he will say yes.  In his talking head weeks ago, I remember him telling her “I don’t love you”.  So, who knows.  They both have different ideas about marriage and children.

[Katie111]

I’d be crying too if I had to sit there and play D & D with Miguel and his friend.  He is just turning into such an asshole. 

[Adeejay]

I am taking comfort in the fact that Justin and Alexis aren’t going to stay together, so in the meantime, his friend is babysitting Mya.  Alexis helping Justin to carry Mya things to the car made me seethe, because she knew she has no intention of staying with him.  Justin is right; he got played. 

That Stacia believes she can keep a white immaculate house, even though they are children living there, makes me laugh.

I think Miguel no longer cares if Lindy changes her last name, because he has no intentions of staying with her.  It probably won’t be a big deal to take her off his health insurance.

[Madding crowd]

I liked Miguel at first but telling Lindy she can’t talk to her friend. He doesn’t own her for God’s sake. She is trying to make him happy even playing that dungeons and dragons stuff. Nate is reading the writing on the wall that he will have no say in anything in that marriage. If they have kids they will have to stay in a room with a nanny so the house stays pristine. Mitch seems like a weird guy, I can’t figure him out. I’m not sure any of these couples will make it.

[Spectator]

It would be so fun to be a kid in Stacie’s house. Rules: Don’t go in the living room. Don’t go in the dining room. Take your shoes off. Put your socks on (god forbid foot oils get on the carpet. Oh the horror!). Don’t leave anything in the sink….the list goes on and on…
 

essentially, childhood there would likely involve restricting “play” to within 10 square feet of a tile floor somewhere (but not the precious black tile in the bathroom!), no toys in sight anywhere, and eating over the sink (and cleaning the sink immediately when finished). Yay! Fun!

[Mr. Miner]

48 minutes ago, Spectator said:

It would be so fun to be a kid in Stacie’s house.

It would be so not fun to be Nate in Stacie's house. FTFY!

[kristen111]

I can’t get a read on Nate.  He doesn’t say much, except about kids, and how he sees them having fun.  He knows Statia has money, but what about him?  That house is HERS.  Not his, and she will have the say.  He’s having a good time with her, but does he love her?  It’s like she has complete control over everything.

[cinsays]

4 minutes ago, kristen111 said:

I can’t get a read on Nate.  He doesn’t say much, except about kids, and how he sees them having fun.  He knows Statia has money, but what about him?  That house is HERS.  Not his, and she will have the say.  He’s having a good time with her, but does he love her?  It’s like she has complete control over everything.

and he's worried about being homeless if they don't work out because he knows that will happen, she'll leave him with nothing

if he doesn't say divorce on the big day, he's an idiot

[mythoughtis]

1 minute ago, cinsays said:

and he's worried about being homeless if they don't work out because he knows that will happen, she'll leave him with nothing

if he doesn't say divorce on the big day, he's an idiot

That’s exactly why she wanted the pre-nup.  So that if they say yes, and divorce later, he gets nothing.  a pre-nup for this marriage  Is totally understandable.  However he is correct in saying that once he gives up his own place, he won’t have a place to live.   
Stacia wants what she wants. She has no intention of letting him pick out anything for her home.  Even if he were to buy half of it 

[kristen111]

3 minutes ago, cinsays said:

and he's worried about being homeless if they don't work out because he knows that will happen, she'll leave him with nothing

if he doesn't say divorce on the big day, he's an idiot

I agree.  She’s pouring on the sex stuff but it might not work.  

[Katie111]

I think Mitch loves to look at the “beach babes” but doesn’t actually get anywhere with them, hence why he ended up on this show.  Seems like he wanted to be matched to a 25 year old surfer chick.  Couldn’t he find one of those on his own?  No, he couldn’t because he’s 41 and not that attractive so he had to go on this show and now he has a wife that (gasp!) wears makeup and brushes her hair.  And he’s torn between married life and his old life.  He needs to remember that his old life probably means that he’ll be alone for the rest of his life.  I feel like Krysten actually genuinely missed him while he was gone.   And he didn’t really miss her. 

[Racj82]

28 minutes ago, kristen111 said:

I can’t get a read on Nate.  He doesn’t say much, except about kids, and how he sees them having fun.  He knows Statia has money, but what about him?  That house is HERS.  Not his, and she will have the say.  He’s having a good time with her, but does he love her?  It’s like she has complete control over everything.

And that's not how this works. It is their house now. She knew that coming in. He has to have say and feel like it is THEIR place because it is. 

12 hours ago, kristen111 said:

Nate feels the house, any house, should be theirs.  Not just hers.  He then would have to give her half if they want to stay in her house.  Everything legal with an Attorney.

Uh...no. That expectation should not be put on him for a situation he did not create. He wants say in his home that he will be living in with his wife. Who acquired or paid for the house first doesn’t negate that. This is their home that they will be raising their children in. This also isn't me projecting. Stacia is saying it's their home to Nate but saying otherwise to different people. This is something she needs to accept if they are going to last. Because, no matter which guy it is, her making this her house/her rules will only work if she wants to be alone. There needs to be a shift in that dynamic otherwise. Obviously Nate should be contributing to the household but that goes along with it being their house that will be maintaining together.

[kristen111]

1 hour ago, Katie111 said:

I think Mitch loves to look at the “beach babes” but doesn’t actually get anywhere with them, hence why he ended up on this show.  Seems like he wanted to be matched to a 25 year old surfer chick.  Couldn’t he find one of those on his own?  No, he couldn’t because he’s 41 and not that attractive so he had to go on this show and now he has a wife that (gasp!) wears makeup and brushes her hair.  And he’s torn between married life and his old life.  He needs to remember that his old life probably means that he’ll be alone for the rest of his life.  I feel like Krysten actually genuinely missed him while he was gone.   And he didn’t really miss her. 

Just like you said, he either stays with her and has a good life, or he’s alone as nobody will want him.  He can even have a child with her and be complete.  He’ll be a Father instead of a surfer.   Then again, I know men that rather be bachelors then married, no matter how old they are.  They like the freedom of doing what they want, when they want.

Edited October 13, 2022 by kristen111

[bichonblitz]

Stacia's million dollar home is cold and has no character. I hope she decides to warm it up with some neutral paint colors, nice pillows and area rugs, cool artwork, etc..... Was the home finished or is it still under construction? 

Do you end up homeless when you divorce? I don't know anybody that has. You go find another place to live. Somebody has to go and if it's Nate I don't think it would be such a bad thing since he doesn't feel comfortable in her house. Why is he even thinking about that now? No, buddy. You won't be HOMELESS!

Lindy's whiny voice. Omg I can't take it and didn't notice how loud she was until now. Miguel's D&D game was the most childish thing I have ever seen a 35 yr. old man be interested in. 

Yeah, Mitch. You're not getting any California surfer chicks. You're only dreaming about it. Keep the ring on. Kristin's red nose was really glowing this episode. 

Justin. Run. Can't wait till he goes to his friends and picks up his dog. Anybody else notice how sweet that dog was? Perfect manners. Justin has a cat and Mya seems to have no problem with that. Hmmm.....Alexis is a POS. 

[seacliffsal]

I have been on Krysten's side in all of their struggles but changed a bit this episode because it seems like she brings stuff up in front of others in order to get others on "her" side.  She did this with Alexis and Justin while also telling us how much she likes Alexis and what good friends they are.  I think she uses Alexis to "attack" Mitch and gang up on Mitch.  Now, I think Mitch is a total poser, but I think Kyrsten is trying to blame him for all of their problems.  Oh, and Mitch's statement that saving the world is hard work so they have to go party afterwards kind of shows his inconsistencies.  Hopefully they found a bar that does not have any plastic or any other single-use items.  And, it's possible to say "yes, I got married since the last time I saw you" without having to explain that it's MAFS and he will be on television.  Taking off the ring was a big red flag.

My heart broke during the Mya scenes.  Alexis is a very self-centered person and whenever called out on anything she then turns the focus around onto the other person.  She does this continually with Justin.  Even her "I don't know what that means" is intended to cause the other person to stumble while trying to further explain themselves.

Lindy is full of cliches and catch phrases and sees every attempt to help her socialize as being an attempt to control her.  Her statement that Miguel wants her to stop interrupting and then saying that it's not human (to not interrupt) and that it's like a blow-up doll.  No Lindy, it's not.  It's called manners, being respectful, etc.  When one consistently interrupts another it's basically saying that what the other person has to say is not as important as what the interrupter wants to say.  It's very tiring and demeaning to always be interrupted (not occasionally, but consistently).  Miguel needs to be very careful because if she starts getting expensive medical procedures before they divorce he will most likely be partly responsible for the co-pays and uncovered costs.

Stacia is another who wants someone to fit into her life without having to make any concessions of her own. 

[Retired at last]

In an already awful season, this episode was the worst. I hated all of these people - even the ones I had liked. Krysten is just too much with pretending to think her marriage will work (or even wanting it to), when we all know she gave up weeks ago. And she should have. Mitch is a jerk. That is all. ETA - although I did like how he was good with Luna on the surfboard. She was amazing!

OMG- Stacia. And I thought that Binh had some pretty rigid rules for living. There is no life in that house and if that is how Stacia was raised, that could explain why she is so cold and inflexible. Poor Nate wants a normal life for any children they have. It doesn't matter if Stacia says it is THEIR house - it is HER house and she will not let him forget that he is living there with her permission. He will not be able to contribute anything - not even a drawer pull. And the idea she has of parenthood is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. She is totally selfish and Nate needs to run. Even if they stay together at D Day, which I hope they don't, I don't see a long-lasting run for them.

Lindy - shut up! Stop whining and crying or just get out. I am still team Miguel and I can't blame him one bit. This is not a normal marriage and he hasn't even known her for 2 months - just because they signed a paper for a TV show, that doesn't mean that he has to know everything about making a lifetime commitment to her right now. The thing is, you need to be with someone who brings out the BEST in you, not the worst. Even if you do love someone, if they aren't right for you, you have to be strong enough to get out.

I am totally on team Justin, as well. I absolutely understand that he wanted assurance that Alexis would say yes. I also understand that he had to make a choice about Mya. I am glad they will be together soon. I never thought Alexis was anything special and I also agree that 90% sure is not enough. I will be happy if he dumps her happy ass first, but I am glad he is seeing the truth of who she is. Good for him. I liked when he said that once he took emotions out of it and just looked at facts, he was very clear.

So, what is that panel next week of former MAFS has-beens making their predictions? I guess that is instead of the Afterparty. I have no desire to watch former cast members try for more air time to be relevant again.

Edited October 13, 2022 by Retired at last

[StatisticalOutlier]

13 hours ago, kristen111 said:

If Justin feels like he’s been played, why did he give the dog away so soon?  Why not wait until decision day, or a few weeks after?

He didn't come to the conclusion that he'd been played until after he'd given the dog away.  He expected doing so would prove to Alexis that he was 100% committed to the marriage, and he assumed she would respond by being 100% committed, too.  But turns out it didn't make her 100% committed, and he said looking at those facts, and keeping emotions out of it, he believed he'd been played.

Something I found funny was when Alexis said, "You said Chris is the only person that Mya loves more than you."  Huh?? 

2 hours ago, Spectator said:

It would be so fun to be a kid in Stacie’s house. Rules: Don’t go in the living room. Don’t go in the dining room. Take your shoes off. Put your socks on (god forbid foot oils get on the carpet. Oh the horror!). Don’t leave anything in the sink….the list goes on and on…

The look on Nate's face when Stacia said she was going to teach her kids not to touch anything was priceless.  But she did say she grew up with her mom telling her don't go in that formal living room, don't go into that formal dining room, don't touch nothing, nuh-thing.  And I'm sure she thinks she complied, so her kids can comply, too. 

2 hours ago, Spectator said:

(but not the precious black tile in the bathroom!)

I'm not as in love with black tile in the bathroom as she is, but I'm with her on not having white tile in a bathroom.  So many houses have it, and every single hair on the floor shows.

2 minutes ago, bichonblitz said:

Why is he even thinking about that now? No, buddy. You won't be HOMELESS!

I'm giving Nate a bit of a pass on this because I'm pretty sure he said he's been homeless in the past, and if that's the case, I can see how it would be an issue.

[seacliffsal]

Stacia has a very sterile design appreciation. I was surprised that she didn't want any kind of yard even though Nate said he would take care of it (and it looked like it was a townhome so it would be a VERY small outdoor space).

[Spectator]

1 hour ago, bichonblitz said:

Yeah, Mitch. You're not getting any California surfer chicks. You're only dreaming about it. Keep the ring on. 

That whole conversation in the car was just weird (and really bad!). It’s one thing to not want to have to explain his marriage to every single Tom, Dick and Harry at the conference, but for Mitch to to refer to himself as “single Mitch” (more than once!) was just not cool. Especially when he said it in the same conversation when he described all the cute girls at the conference and all the partying he did. Jeez dude…to steal a page out of Miguel’s playbook, “READ THE ROOM!”

Hands down the best part of this episode was getting to see Krysten’s pug (Luna?) rockin her life jacket and holding her own on the board. Adorable. 

Edited October 13, 2022 by Spectator

[kristen111]

37 minutes ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

It would be so fun to be a kid in Stacie’s house. Rules: Don’t go in the living room. Don’t go in the dining room. Take your shoes off. Put your socks on (god forbid foot oils get on the carpet. Oh the horror!). Don’t leave anything in the sink….the list goes on and on

[kristen111]

17 hours ago, mythoughtis said:

Stacia  has no clue what being a parent is.  Between her unrealistic idea of children in an all White House and thinking she will not have to give up something to parent…. 

Add to that OCD.  We visited my husbands brother in Vegas for three days.  He watched our every move should we spill something .My husband couldn’t wait to get the hell out of there, as he felt very uncomfortable.  Three wives left him as they couldn’t take him.  I could see why..

[Lindz]

Lindy should've told Miguel never to speak like that to her because it's unacceptable. He took no accountability! He should've said it was inappropriate & wrong. Punk. I'm glad they're falling apart. He's hard to watch. She's afraid to tell him how she feels & he's more than comfortable telling her his every doubt, making her more scared. Vicious cycle! She should just tell him & let whatever happen, happen. If he can't handle it, fine. It'll build up until she explodes & will destroy the relationship. How doesn't she see that?!! The whole censoring thing is too dramatic. How about being better? So strange they played that weird game & then she flipped & had another crying fit. Just bizarre. 

[Lindz]

I wanna know what happened with the dog because Justin made it seem like Alexis gave the go ahead to give away Mya. Did he make up in his mind that him giving away the dog would guarantee a yes on DD or did they actually have the discussion because I'm thinking it's the former. They make up whatever in their mind. If it was the latter, he wouldn't have texted her asking if she was a yes.

[Kiss my mutt]

I just noticed this episode that Mitch drives an SUV and not even a hybrid one.  He Can back the f up with his holier than thou eco warrior bullshit. 

Edited October 14, 2022 by Kiss my mutt

[Lindz]

I see right through their double date. They use the other couple to ask about what they're incapable of discussing alone. So they can get out what they want to say. So lame. 🙄😒

[Spectator]

Talking about the after-party for a second…why oh why do they continue to waste a chair on someone we don’t know and has nothing to do with anything??? A podcaster? I have zero interest in what these people have to say. Zip. I wonder if Morgan or Binh had been scheduled for these episodes and production needed to scramble for inexpensive replacements. I have no other explanation since this change just seems so pointless. 

Also, every single promo for the after party mentions “spilling all the exclusive tea in tonight’s juicy episode” (or something like that…I try to block it out! Lol). I hate it. To me it validates that the show is deliberately creating drama purely for our entertainment, which we all pretty much know is true, but I still like to at least pretend that the show tries to match people because they are well suited for each other. Not because production is trying to entertain a tv audience with a bunch of mismatched freaks poised for conflict. 

Edited October 13, 2022 by Spectator

[Lindz]

WTF was Nate saying in the store? He'll let her prioritize... HUH?!! ANYONE UNDERSTAND?!! He makes no sense. He's not saying he'll let her choose whatever she wants, he's saying they'll decorate what she wants to decorate? Ehhhh

[Retired at last]

I did laugh on the Afterparty when Keshia said to Mitch that he least he had his toes covered - he said he learned that lesson. He must have gotten a lot of flack about wearing those women's sandals. They also gave him a very hard time about his "single Mitch" behavior. He asked them what he should have done and was told that he should have worn his ring!

[Lindz]

So Nate & Stacia's topic this episode was having "fun" while raising a baby? They disagree on whether they will be able to have fun or not. Turns out he's afraid she'll abandon them like he was abandoned. Hmm.

[Lindz]

It was stupid of Justin to give away his dog before DD. How could he think that would be enough? It's a huge deal to him, but there are many more things to consider. That could be manipulative if either of them said, "get ride of the dog for a yes, don't for a no." They're not on the same page at all. He's pulling away because he was mistaken instead of talking it out & getting on the same page? Smart. Sounds like he played himself if he decided giving away the dog meant a yes from her if she didn't agree to that.

[Spectator]

8 minutes ago, Lindz said:

It was stupid of Justin to give away his dog before DD.

I’m really hoping Justin and Alexis split on decision day, then when the reunion show airs, production includes footage of him bringing his dog back home. ❤️ I’m sure his buddy will give the dog back - it will have only been a week or two at that point.
 

I wonder if watching the show back has helped Alexis recognize just how selfish she is. I cannot believe that she even managed to turn the selfless act of Justin giving up his dog into something about her and how she didn’t want him to hold it over her that he made such a sacrifice. I don’t know if she is even capable of being appreciative of such a sacrifice because I don’t think she actually knows what it is like to sacrifice. She just doesn’t seem to do it. Everything is about her, expecting things to be done for her, not by her. Expectation instead of appreciation. Man, what a piece of work.
 

I really hope Justin finds a fabulous woman who truly appreciates him. Alexis is definitely not that woman. 

[pdlinda]

6 hours ago, kristen111 said:

I can’t get a read on Nate.  He doesn’t say much, except about kids, and how he sees them having fun.  He knows Statia has money, but what about him?  That house is HERS.  Not his, and she will have the say.  He’s having a good time with her, but does he love her?  It’s like she has complete control over everything.

This is my read on Nate. 

He portrays himself as a "day trader."  Not sure the recessionary market is generating a lot of $$$ in a steady, reliable and continuing manner to him.  I don't see him as having a lot of savings or other sources of income.  The San Diego housing mkt is extremely expensive!  I think he is smart and savvy; however, financially he is vulnerable.

Enter, Stacia.  She has (with all her neuroses) substantial income from a business she built on her own. She has wealth.

The prospect of leaving Stacia and having to navigate the local world he inhabited before they were married is weighing on Nate's mind.  I saw his eyes twinkle when he entered her comfortable home (irrespective of its institutional whiteness and lack of style).  The thought of living in a fully-furnished comfortable home with Stacia (including ongoing intimacy and sexual enjoyment) is certainly resonating with Nate.

Perhaps they will develop some business plans between them and he can play a useful role in building up their assets.  Once he starts contributing to the household (that I doubt he can do much of right now) there will be more of a "power sharing" regarding decision making.

It would be VERY ADVISABLE for Nate to have an attorney/accountant at his disposal so IF HE DOES BEGIN doing business deals with Stacia, he would be receiving a fair percentage of what they are producing together.  That way, if (maybe when) they part, he'll have enough $$ to avoid being homeless.

Of all the couples, I think Nate and Stacia will stick it out and see what develops between them.  

She has childhood issues. (No father) He has childhood issues (No mother).

On the subject of children,  NO, NO, NO until and unless BOTH of them are 100% committed to that choice.  BOTH Nate and Stacia are the products of dysfunctional childhood homes and have borne a heavy price growing up including now!  

I know Stacia is 37; however, there are many women conceiving in their 40's with few complications.  There really is no hurry to bring an innocent child into that household in its "infancy."

[EXEAL]

19 hours ago, Crashcourse said:

I have a feeling that Justin and his friend have already agreed that Justin will get his dog back as soon as he and Alexis break up. 

I hope as I write this that Justin and Mya are back together.❤️🐾