S05.E05: Get Right or Get Left

[PrincessPurrsALot]

Quote

Chaos erupts when Kevin & Kurtis face off at Tiffany's release; Chazz plans fifth marriage to an inmate; Harry reunites with his daughter and baby mama; Lacey picks up Antoine, but tensions flare; Chance sends Tayler's sister storming off.

Original air date 2022.04.01

[anoninrva]

I didn't know what to make of Chazz.  Five marriages makes me think maybe it wasn't the brides who were the issue?  Harry and his daughter look nice together.  Her mother is not putting up with his bullshit.  It's too bad he'll be back in jail soon.  Chance is bad news.  I don't know what to think of Antoine either.  Five years in solitary confinement couldn't have been good for his mental health.

[LEILANI2]

5 hours ago, anoninrva said:

I didn't know what to make of Chazz.  Five marriages makes me think maybe it wasn't the brides who were the issue?  Harry and his daughter look nice together.  Her mother is not putting up with his bullshit.  It's too bad he'll be back in jail soon.  Chance is bad news.  I don't know what to think of Antoine either.  Five years in solitary confinement couldn't have been good for his mental health.

I think it's four going on five if he marries this current jailbird.

My first thought was that him and the cats would be happier with a man thus all the failed marriages.

The last one dying from drugs seemed off to me and my mind went to him killing her for insurance but I do watch alot of Dateline and True Crime.e.

I think with the camera's gone and the sister gone, that poor little girl who we've seen defend her Tayler in two episodes now is going to be abused by Chance since he's made it clear he wants to be the 'man' and not 'disrespected.  I fear for them.

 

 

Edited April 2, 2022 by LEILANI2

[JenE4]

Wow. Knocked out with one punch! Then Kevin nearly ran him over to drive off. Tiffany is suddenly second-guessing playing the Neanderthals off of each other—and she didn’t even get her cold, soggy waffle.

Chazz’s aesthetic is neither fitting in with his bandmates nor with his prison beauty. The horns weren’t enough…for practicing in your garage…that this singer also needs to white out his irises with Party City contacts. Chazz, you are going to get your identity stolen—though I get the feeling he’ll happily hand over anything she wants—Social Security Number? No problem!

Kaylah is scrubbing her stovetop. My passive-aggressive ass would be sprinkling it with paprika. Oh. Her technique is more aggressive-aggressive. Shrimp Alfredo from the strip club? That’s a unique dining choice. Locked up for 13 years—what are the chances that the  strip club still serves shrimp Alfredo?

This woman is breaking out in hives. Ma’am, your body is telling you to stay away from this troubled kid! 

Oh, man. This kid thinks her dad was at Super Hero Camp?! They couldn’t just say a normal job or something? She’s going to be crestfallen when she finds out her dad’s only super skills are breaking and entering and getting desperate women to put money on his books.

Chazz is going to immediately jump into his fifth marriage?! Didn’t this man just tell us no one will even date him since he’s 5’5”? He’s obviously doing okay if he got this many people to marry him—though at least these last two seem like desperate women at their rock bottom who have no other options.

We got Mr Fast & Furious over here.

Kurtis is driving with a concussion?! Has Tiffany been sitting on this curb the whole time while Curtis went to the ER? Girl, maybe call an Uber instead of Kevin!

Seeing Harry with his actual daughter certainly highlights how screwed up it is that Indie makes him act like a dad to her kid. She’s practically put out that he wants to be with his own child! Fatima has a good head on her shoulders—doesn’t trust Harry to take Ava yet. Meanwhile Indie’s all, say hello to your papi while he was still in prison!

Bobbi, you neglected the children while we had graveyard sex. The audacity!

[Pepper Mostly]

1 hour ago, JenE4 said:

Wow. Knocked out with one punch! Then Kevin nearly ran him over to drive off. Tiffany is suddenly second-guessing playing the Neanderthals off of each other—and she didn’t even get her cold, soggy waffle.

I was giggling like a toddler in a bouncy castle through all of that. Caveman Throwdown! You could read Tiffany's emotions on her deceitful, duplicitous face. She was shocked, SHOCKED! that Curtis went down like a ton of bricks. Backed the wrong horse, girlfriend. Curtis tries to haul himself back into his car--with the cold, soggy waffle sitting untouched in the front. Dying over here. Then Tiffany, gotta hand it to her for her ability to shift gears, calls Kevin and says "I saw you fighting for me and it put a lot of things in perspective" because hell, she needs a ride. And Kevin buys it! I love this fucking show. 

[anoninrva]

2 hours ago, JenE4 said:

Wow. Knocked out with one punch! Then Kevin nearly ran him over to drive off. Tiffany is suddenly second-guessing playing the Neanderthals off of each other—and she didn’t even get her cold, soggy waffle.

As ridiculous as the Texas waffle drenched in syrup was, and as much as I don't like the guy, and feel very little sympathy for him antagonizing the psychopath, it was a gesture we don't see many other paramours make on this show.

[Pepper Mostly]

"Hold on, its my PO!" has to be one of the greatest lines ever. I'm going to use it forthwith. Only I might change it up a little. "Hold on, its my Chancellor of the Exchequer" sounds good, right? 

It occurred to me that Fatima told Harry that she told Ava that he was in "superhero camp" sarcastically, and dumdum Harry bought it. I will cling to the hope that this is the case, because I find it hilarious. I'm easily amused. 

The cavemen are my favorites, possibly of all time. And I suspect that Tiffany will be a Greatest Hits version of all the skanky little grifters who have gone before--Lindsay, Lizzie, Destinie, Nicolle....she's cast in the same mold. I was so amused by the grunting and chest pounding of the cave men. A big improvement on the Chane/Chon interactions of yore. See what the boys in the writers room will have. 

[OoogleEyes]

What did Raylan Givins say? "You run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole. You run into assholes all day, you're the asshole".

*sigh* Now I have TO and his Levis on my mind

Edited April 2, 2022 by OoogleEyes

[sempervivum]

Best of the night: Ava, who is so cute she looks like a cartoon kid, and (name?) adorable tuxedo/calico mix kitty.

So they decided to introduce a new couple mid-season? That means either that 1) one of the other sets of idiots are soon departing, or 2)  Chazzzzz and Branwin will be cliff-hangers for next season. 

 

[Keywestclubkid]

This show loves its cringe sex scenes… I didn’t need to hear ANY of that 

[SevenCostanza]

2 hours ago, anoninrva said:

As ridiculous as the Texas waffle drenched in syrup was, and as much as I don't like the guy, and feel very little sympathy for him antagonizing the psychopath, it was a gesture we don't see many other paramours make on this show.

  Well we did have Shawn cooking up those motel room tacos on the ironing board for Destiny. 

That whole scene was so ridiculous.  If he hadn't of acted like such a dick sticking his face out and putting his hands behind his back when he can't even take a punch, he might have walked off with the girl.   Instead he ended up crying alone with a soggy waffle and a concussion, idiot.   Tiffany's fake ass knew she better backpedal real fast or she'd be taking the bus with all her crap. 

All of sudden they threw some new guy at us,  4 failed marriages, plays bass in some weird Gwar wannabe band, should be interesting.

Mr Clean Your Stove looked like he was super high when he came back to the apartment, not to mention his talking heads where he looks barely conscious.  I don't know why she wasted 13 years waiting for him, she can do a lot better.

I wish Tayler was smarter and more cautious as a mother of 3 small girls.  Maybe not moving Chance in immediately might have been better for everyone.  I saw in the previews for the rest of the season Tayler is in the emergency room and Chance said something about anxiety attack I think.  It went by so fast it was hard to tell, but I hope she's alright. 

Indie is such an idiot.  Let's go see another psychic,, that will help us on our life's path.  How about paying some attention to your daughter, maybe fix her hair and don't let Harry smoke around her in a closed car. 

Lacey/Antoine.  Could he be less into her?  He kept moving away from her in the car and then he wipes his face after she kisses him.  It looked like a child wiping away the kiss from his mom.  She left her husband for him?  She kept saying he's the man of her dreams.  I have no idea why.  He looks older than 27, he's not attractive, he's a freaking loser who ran out of gas during a chase with the cops.  Yea good luck with that.

 

 

Edited April 2, 2022 by SevenCostanza

[Keywestclubkid]

You got sent to prison cause you stole a car and evaded arrest no big deal lol …..and his I love you too man (we have officially met a real live Boomhauer dang ol wet kisses man) lol yea this is gonna last 

Edited April 2, 2022 by Keywestclubkid

[Keywestclubkid]

Tiffany and all her sad boxes on the side of the road… 

[1011101010001]

Tiffany can’t be around all this drama on the day she is released and then chooses to go with the attacker lol.  He should be prosecuted.  It’s on video and it wasn’t self defense.

[renatae]

That band guy, I think it was the one with the demonic mask, looked like he was wearing contacts which made the centers of his eyes glow. Brrr.

Other than their costumes and lyrics, these dudes seemed like middle aged mild mannered clerk dads.

I'm still incensed over that abusive jerk gaslighting Kayla over the stove crumbs. "All I did was ask when you last ate. I'm not apologizing for disrespecting you because I didn't." I wanted to punch that expressionless face all the way into the next century. 😡

Edited April 3, 2022 by renatae

[Jeanne222]

I was sad to see the car sex cut short when Taylor was straddling the hump to get to Chance !

I've always wondered about those car humps and how they are able to do anything!

Nothing like the freedom of a nice 1958 Chevy!!!!  But go Taylor for trying.

 

[lamujerdecente]

I had a breakthrough of wisdom after the live chat. And during the early watching of 90 Day Tell Nada. Will Smith CLEARLY watched Love After Lockup that Friday before the Oscars and well that was what motivated him to commit the smack around the world. Thats my theory and I am sticking to it. And folks say this Trash show doesn't have worth!

[KateHearts]

I think we could start Bingo cards for both sides:

Inmates: horrific tattoos, bad teeth, emotional growth stunted at age 12, illegitimate child(ren), more than one sugar daddy/mama on the outside, same-sex prison lover, over-involved parent, exaggerated entitlement for everything he/she wants on release, the latest cellphone within 2 days of release, loves to see fights between paramours, drives illegally after release, fails to make parole appointment.

Outsiders: needs insta-parent for child(ren), messy house, horrific tattoos, meddling family members, loves "bad boy/girl," expects inmate to be provider immediately, cute pets, empties bank account for "love of their life," neglects to use birth control, obsessive monitoring of ex-con's phone and whereabouts, sex in car.

Kayla needs to cut and run- Stove Guy is much more interested in reuniting with his many friends and eating strip-club shrimp alfredo than spending time with her. She is very pretty; too bad her skin seems a little rough.

I am quite uncomfortable with Chance and his aggressive way of not only trying to be "man of the house" but his attempts to rapidly bond with her girls. Trying to disrupt already existing bonds (Tayler and her sister; sister and kids) is treacherous and he is already starting to show his temper and rigidity. I don't care how hot the sex was in the cemetery, he seems like a simmering kettle waiting to boil. And while I get that having 3 little kids creates chaos, it always appalls me that these people can't somewhat straighten up their homes because they're on TELEVISION.

Harry isn't too bright but also has obviously not matured from when he entered prison, which I believe was at a very young age. He is like a deer in the headlights- he's got Indy bossing him around at every turn, a "step daughter" at Indie's insistence, his own daughter who seems more thoughtful and intelligent than he is, an ex, his siblings, and the big grown-up world he knows nothing about.

Ok Chazz- 4 former wives? Yikes. I'm always a little leery of the guys they parade out as these kind, nerdish types- something they do a few episodes in shatters that image and makes me cringe. His sister seems nice enough; his cat is cute (how many does he have?), but I'm sure there is going to be some entertainment forthcoming. 

Harley Guy and Bad Teeth Girl- both make me itchy. They each get what they deserve.

Kevin is gross and I hope he gets arrested. Watching him talk like he is the leader of a gang, smoking in his apartment with his poor little dog sitting there, swilling his manly whiskey and brawling over a recently released inmate (who was like, "ooooh! I didn't expect this!!! Eeks, I feel sooooo bad! I'm verrry uncomfortable!!") just cements his trash image to me. 

[Keywestclubkid]

7 minutes ago, KateHearts said:

Ok Chazz- 4 former wives? Yikes. I'm always a little leery of the guys they parade out as these kind, nerdish types- something they do a few episodes in shatters that image and makes me cringe. His sister seems nice enough; his cat is cute (how many does he have?), but I'm sure there is going to be some entertainment forthcoming. 

Well if he’s anything like the last creepy mild mannered guy with a cat … he will have some strange sex dungeon and talk about how he likes his prostate milked (shudders) down there 

[glitterpussy]

On 4/2/2022 at 9:14 AM, SevenCostanza said:

I wish Tayler was smarter and more cautious as a mother of 3 small girls.

God help me, I was practically in tears watching him touch all over them on the couch....rubbing their legs, laying them in his lap...he's got pedo written ALL over him. That is NOT appropriate. I legit want to call somebody.

[Empress1]

2 hours ago, KateHearts said:

I am quite uncomfortable with Chance and his aggressive way of not only trying to be "man of the house" but his attempts to rapidly bond with her girls. Trying to disrupt already existing bonds (Tayler and her sister; sister and kids) is treacherous and he is already starting to show his temper and rigidity. I don't care how hot the sex was in the cemetery, he seems like a simmering kettle waiting to boil.

I really wish these women would stop having these men they barely know around their kids, and who their kids don’t know at all. Indie is just as bad. So was Lacey of Lacey and Shane (her kids knew John and actually seemed bonded to him). Tayler keeps saying she wanted it all to be perfect, well, perfect for who? Stop putting dick ahead of your kids. I can easily see Chance putting hands on her - he’s controlling as hell.

[lamujerdecente]

2 hours ago, KateHearts said:

his own daughter who seems more thoughtful and intelligent than he is,

She IS smarter than Harry. She is a beautiful little girl; she got a lot of her father's looks and her MOTHER'S BRAINS. The universe favored that one. Indy's daughter is very pretty too as Indy is too, but I feel for Indy's daughter. Her mother is a FOOL. Refuse to watch Chnace and his simmering abuse that will boil over on SOMEONE and that effect on Taylor's cute little girls. She needs to put Chance in the dish washer disposal. Kayla needs to bake Marttel. 

Agree. Kayla is pretty, but her skin is a bit rough. Wonder if that stress with Martel does not help. Take that Martel help fund and get to an esthetician Kayla. That is a gift you deserve not this entitled overgrown toddler you brought home from the human pound of useless humans. Chance has a permanent cage there with Harry making sublet payments for near future stays. 

[teapot]

My new favorite expression.  Used when an errant towel was left in the kitchen.  “Get right or get left!”

I’m sure that Mister is very glad I learned that!! 

 

[SevenCostanza]

20 hours ago, KateHearts said:

Harley Guy and Bad Teeth Girl- both make me itchy.

I can't stop laughing at this.  It's so true though.  I also want to give them mouthwash.

[Pepper Mostly]

On 4/4/2022 at 4:56 PM, glitterpussy said:

God help me, I was practically in tears watching him touch all over them on the couch....rubbing their legs, laying them in his lap...he's got pedo written ALL over him. That is NOT appropriate. I legit want to call somebody.

SAME. And TayLER is thinking "Isn't it sweet how my girls love him?". Dumb as a brick and a shit mother. 

On 4/4/2022 at 7:14 PM, lamujerdecente said:

Agree. Kayla is pretty, but her skin is a bit rough. Wonder if that stress with Martel does not help. Take that Martel help fund and get to an esthetician Kayla. That is a gift you deserve not this entitled overgrown toddler you brought home from the human pound of useless humans. Chance has a permanent cage there with Harry making sublet payments for near future stays. 

I just realized as I was watching last week that Kayla started up with this loser when she was TWENTY years old! She's thrown away her twenties on a criminal, who will probably be back in jail before you can say "$40,000 for an engagement ring". Yes, the same girl who was so deeply, deeply touched by the flowers Martel made for her out of jailhouse toilet paper. She seems to have no attachment to reality. I feel bad for her but sunk cost or not, she needs to get out of there. Martel does not give a shit about her. He twists everything she says and tries to keep her off balance and on the defensive. Their short time together will be pure misery for her. 

[PrincessPurrsALot]

Doing a bit of a rewatch.  A few things that came up - Harry is looking for a reason to leave.  He is in no way interested in actually staying with Indie.  I love how these losers think they can set harsh requirements for their partners, like Harry is a catch.  If she brings up his cheating again, he's gone.  Let's see, hmm, he cheated, what, like two weeks ago?  Yep, she should just get over it.   I swear I am going to die from terminal eyeroll. 

Chazz's sister 100% knows this is not going to work out.  You can sense she has been down this road too many times before, as in at least 4. Also, she has really beautiful skin.

Whereas Kaylah is starting to realize she wasted 3 years on a gaslighting loser.  Kaylah is really pretty.  I so much want to get her a quality skincare routine.  She could be a knockout.  Of course, the best thing for her would be to say goodbye to Martel.  He's an ass.  Who doesn't enjoy someone who tells you how you are allowed to feel about how you've been treated?  

Antoine is seriously unattractive, has a terrible face tattoo, was stupid enough to get into a high speed chase with the police, and ran out of gas.  And he goes back to screwing up because he gets bored.  Lacey #2, the uninflated version, threw her family away for this loser.  Yep, this is going to go well.   

Sad caveman #2 is crying.  While I am normally not heartless, I am laughing at his tears. 

[Back Atcha]

On 4/8/2022 at 5:43 PM, PrincessPurrsALot said:

Kaylah is really pretty.  I so much want to get her a quality skincare routine.  She could be a knockout.

Her "foundation" is sad.  I hope she gets some serious offers for skin care AND dermatologist recommendations.  We don't know what's hiding under her make-up.  Has she REALLY waited thirteen years for this small-time GANGSTER?  She needs to run as fast and far as she can (and leave no trace).  He intends to be some sort of crime BOSS...and he has already started his boss routine with her.  I like that she has the gumption to answer back--but, Girl, IT'S NOT SAFE!  I hope his mother is watching!

[Back Atcha]

On 4/2/2022 at 9:14 AM, SevenCostanza said:

Mr Clean Your Stove looked like he was super high when he came back to the apartment, not to mention his talking heads where he looks barely conscious.

It's almost like there are two different people.  Does he think his lazy eyelids and bored manner of speaking make him better than ME?  ME???

He looks and sounds like a loser.  The sooner he gets back to prison where he must have been some BIG MAN...the better.

On 4/4/2022 at 1:07 PM, KateHearts said:

Kayla needs to cut and run- Stove Guy is much more interested in reuniting with his many friends and eating strip-club shrimp alfredo than spending time with her.

Sadly, the only way she can get away is if he SENDS her!  He might not want her, but SHE is not going to make the decision to leave him.

On 4/4/2022 at 1:56 PM, glitterpussy said:

On 4/2/2022 at 9:14 AM, SevenCostanza said:

I wish Tayler was smarter and more cautious as a mother of 3 small girls.

God help me, I was practically in tears watching him touch all over them on the couch....rubbing their legs, laying them in his lap...he's got pedo written ALL over him. That is NOT appropriate. I legit want to call somebody.

I try to be aware of inappropriate behavior around young children.  Chance's actions with the girls don't seem to be those of a pedophile. I think he's simiply trying to create what he thinks (and dreams) is a model of a perfect husband and father. TOO SOON! His anger, mental health issues, and too-recent release from confinement are ingredients for disaster.  Tayler is too innocent, naive, ignorant (all three and more)--too young and inexperienced to even notice.  AND...she wants and NEEDS a man so desperately that she won't pay attention to what's going on around her.

Edited April 10, 2022 by Back Atcha

[ChristmasJones]

11 hours ago, Back Atcha said:

Chance's actions with the girls don't seem to be those of a pedophile. I think he's simiply trying to create what he thinks (and dreams) is a model of a perfect husband and father. TOO SOON! His anger, mental health issues, and too-recent release from confinement are ingredients for disaster

This is my take as well. I would never want to slap a label of possible pedophile on someone who I've only seen on tv for 20 minutes or so. That being said, I saw three little girls who are beyond excited and hyped up about having a "dad" and they're just crawling all over him trying to get attention. Much like a new toy on Christmas day.   Its probably good they are being filmed for this tv show as it provides a set of eyes on the situation that wouldn't be there otherwise.

[Rebky]

On 4/4/2022 at 3:07 PM, KateHearts said:

I think we could start Bingo cards for both sides:

Inmates: horrific tattoos, bad teeth, emotional growth stunted at age 12, illegitimate child(ren), more than one sugar daddy/mama on the outside, same-sex prison lover, over-involved parent, exaggerated entitlement for everything he/she wants on release, the latest cellphone within 2 days of release, loves to see fights between paramours, drives illegally after release, fails to make parole appointment.

Outsiders: needs insta-parent for child(ren), messy house, horrific tattoos, meddling family members, loves "bad boy/girl," expects inmate to be provider immediately, cute pets, empties bank account for "love of their life," neglects to use birth control, obsessive monitoring of ex-con's phone and whereabouts, sex in car.

Kayla needs to cut and run- Stove Guy is much more interested in reuniting with his many friends and eating strip-club shrimp alfredo than spending time with her. She is very pretty; too bad her skin seems a little rough.

I am quite uncomfortable with Chance and his aggressive way of not only trying to be "man of the house" but his attempts to rapidly bond with her girls. Trying to disrupt already existing bonds (Tayler and her sister; sister and kids) is treacherous and he is already starting to show his temper and rigidity. I don't care how hot the sex was in the cemetery, he seems like a simmering kettle waiting to boil. And while I get that having 3 little kids creates chaos, it always appalls me that these people can't somewhat straighten up their homes because they're on TELEVISION.

Harry isn't too bright but also has obviously not matured from when he entered prison, which I believe was at a very young age. He is like a deer in the headlights- he's got Indy bossing him around at every turn, a "step daughter" at Indie's insistence, his own daughter who seems more thoughtful and intelligent than he is, an ex, his siblings, and the big grown-up world he knows nothing about.

Ok Chazz- 4 former wives? Yikes. I'm always a little leery of the guys they parade out as these kind, nerdish types- something they do a few episodes in shatters that image and makes me cringe. His sister seems nice enough; his cat is cute (how many does he have?), but I'm sure there is going to be some entertainment forthcoming. 

Harley Guy and Bad Teeth Girl- both make me itchy. They each get what they deserve.

Regarding Harry getting pulled over, driving w/o a license - I missed what happened and how he got out of it. What happened?

As much as I don't like Chance, I think those feisty little girls would run straight to Mom and tell her if Chance did anything out of line. They are not shy.

Chazz, if a woman has an anxiety attack at the thought of having sex with you and is obviously abusing some barbiturates, you screwed up marrying her right away, son. I mean BIG TIME!!!!