S09.E15: Reunion

[psychoticstate]

16 hours ago, Talented Tenth said:

Eddie is trash.  He falsely accused Rayna of saying the f word to cover for Heather saying the n word.

I hate the notion that Heather only copied Rayna therefore should not have any responsibility what comes out of her own mouth.  Is Heather a complete idiot?  Whoever feels that way, go ahead jump in on an armed robbery and use the defense that you were only mimicking what you saw others do.  If you see someone jump off a bridge, try that too.  Offensive language is not just about words themselves but intent, context, tone and who is saying them.  There are several words or phrases like this, yet people seem to only lack comprehension when it comes to the n word.  If you are disciplining your child at a store, can the cashier or another shopper do so too if they repeat what you say?  Of course not.  Some words being used depends on the relationship between the people.  Rayna using the n word as a colloquialism will never be the same as the n word coming out of white person's mouth.

I don't know if Heather was sorry about using the word of if she was sorry about any possible backlash.  Only she knows, but I don't think the incident was racist.

I do want Rayna to apologize to Wes because she was harsh to him and he didn't deserve it.

 

And you know that Eddie falsely accused Rayna of saying the word how?  I'm not a fan of Eddie's but I don't see him bringing that up without a very good reason (i.e., it actually happened.)  

Heather took responsibility for what she said.  Multiple times.  Did Rayna?  Or is it okay for Rayna to use that vile word because she's black?  Why wasn't Rayna held to the same standard as Heather or anyone else?  

Wes definitely did not deserve the treatment he got from Rayna -- which was racist, IMO -- but I wager he'll never get an apology from her because she's incapable of admitting she's wrong.    

[CSunshine76]

13 hours ago, EXEAL said:

 

They were bleeping so much it was hard to tell what words were being said/bleeped. Were they saying f*ck or f*g.🤷‍♀️

Closed captioning definitely helped during that exchange!

[jrzy]

On 2/7/2022 at 8:33 PM, TeapotWakeen said:

okay, help me out here.... Did Rayna admit to saying "the F word" "all the time" "I'm a grown ass woman, I can say what I want...." and then turn around and say "I never say that word, my sister is gay, I walked down the aisle with the president of the LGBTQ association at graduation..." I am so confused, I've watched that 3 times. She didn't seem like she was being sarcastic when she said "I say the F word all the time".  Was the difference in her mind/the conversation saying the full version of the F word, versus the 3-letter shortened version??

The only persons who came off well on this reunion were Rachel and Wes. Good riddance to a bad season!!!

It's maddening that no-one called Rayna out,  I am sure all the questions and comments pointing out that Rayna used this to her own advantage were dismissed and deleted.  Rayna is one hot mess of a girl,  I  sure feel sorry for her next employer.

 

[PaperTree]

2 hours ago, jrzy said:

I  sure feel sorry for her next employer.

I wouldn't hire her to clean my sister's cat box.

I don't want to work with anybody who can lie as convincingly as she did to Heather.  She's very good at it.  Plus the whole "I'm a victim" schtick.

[Pattycake2]

I totally believe that Rayna used the fgt word when was drunk.  We’ve seen her get aggressive and foul mouthed and she wanted Jake to ignore Fraser and hook up with her.

[iMonrey]

Quote

Eddie is trash.  He falsely accused Rayna of saying the f word to cover for Heather saying the n word.

We don't know his accusation was false. That's an awfully specific and strange thing to accuse her of if she never actually said it. Especially when you're on a reality show and you know you're on camera 24/7. Andy claimed they couldn't find any footage of Rayna using that word but that doesn't mean there wasn't any. I've noticed a conspicuous attempt to give her a generous edit.

Quote

 Offensive language is not just about words themselves but intent, context, tone and who is saying them. 

Well, exactly. Heather never used the word as a slur or called Rayna that word or told a joke using the word. She simply mimicked something Rayna said. The intent, context and tone was completely innocuous aside from the word itself. Frankly if Rayna was that bent out of shape over this one incident - given the context - she has deeper problems to deal with.

Quote

I totally believe that Rayna used the fgt word when was drunk.  We’ve seen her get aggressive and foul mouthed and she wanted Jake to ignore Fraser and hook up with her.

Not only that, on that last outing she accused Heather of being rudest to Kaylee. You know, Heather's friend that she brought on board herself. WTF. She's downright delusional and just lashes out like a cornered wild animal.

[Talented Tenth]

7 hours ago, psychoticstate said:

And you know that Eddie falsely accused Rayna of saying the word how?  I'm not a fan of Eddie's but I don't see him bringing that up without a very good reason (i.e., it actually happened.)  

Heather took responsibility for what she said.  Multiple times.  Did Rayna?  Or is it okay for Rayna to use that vile word because she's black?  Why wasn't Rayna held to the same standard as Heather or anyone else?  

Wes definitely did not deserve the treatment he got from Rayna -- which was racist, IMO -- but I wager he'll never get an apology from her because she's incapable of admitting she's wrong.    

There was no footage of Rayna saying the word and at the reunion Eddie claimed not to remember accusing Rayna then said "if" he said it.  Even in the unseen footage, he backtracked and said maybe it wasn't her.  He even backpedaled in the conversation when he accused her.

Yes, it's okay for Rayna to use it.  She's a part of the oppressed group the word was used against and the group that flipped its usage.  White people get to enjoy white privilege and Black people get to use the n word.  Wanna switch sides?

 

[Talented Tenth]

53 minutes ago, iMonrey said:

Well, exactly. Heather never used the word as a slur or called Rayna that word or told a joke using the word. She simply mimicked something Rayna said. The intent, context and tone was completely innocuous aside from the word itself. Frankly if Rayna was that bent out of shape over this one incident - given the context - she has deeper problems to deal with.

The n word is always going to be questionable coming out of a white person's mouth in America.  With American history, that shouldn't be hard to understand.  

Let's say your significant other says something sexy to you and a stranger overhears.  Let's say that stranger then says the exact same thing to you in the exact same tone.  It's going to be creepy, right?  It would be creepy because that person doesn't have the relationship with you to be able to speak to you that way.  

Black people in America have a connection, bond and shared experience so when a faction of the Black community uses the n word colloquially, it is understood it is not used as a slur/offense.  White Americans do not have the relationship with Black people to say the word even with the same tone.  If a mother disciplines a child, an outsider saying the same things in the same way would be offensive to the mother.  If your friend teases you, an outsider saying the same thing in the same way might offend because you don't have the same relationship.  I'm not Jewish, Italian or Asian and I'm not going to start using cultural slang/colloquialisms around those groups even if they do because I'm not a part of those groups.  

It seems like people can understand that women use the word bitch, but a straight man saying it takes on a different vibe even if he says it in the exact same way.  People can understand that gays can use certain slang among each other but it hits differently coming from someone straight. 

Why can't people understand when it comes to the n word?

Edited February 9, 2022 by Talented Tenth

[iMonrey]

Quote

Yes, it's okay for Rayna to use it.  She's a part of the oppressed group the word was used against and the group that flipped its usage.

That's your opinion and you have a right to it. I respect that. However that's not a universal truth. Not every person of color feels they have the "right" to use an offensive word, and in fact many feel it sends a mixed message, especially to the youth of any race when used in rap and other artistic expression.

Quote

The n word is always going to be questionable coming out of a white person's mouth in America.

Well sure. And this should have been a teachable moment. Because the only reason a white person said the word, in this instance, is because they were repeating something a black person said. That's where the real discussion lies, only Bravo isn't up to it, unfortunately. They're only about covering their own asses.

[snarts]

1 hour ago, iMonrey said:

We don't know his accusation was false. That's an awfully specific and strange thing to accuse her of if she never actually said it. Especially when you're on a reality show and you know you're on camera 24/7. Andy claimed they couldn't find any footage of Rayna using that word but that doesn't mean there wasn't any. I've noticed a conspicuous attempt to give her a generous edit.

But we do know she didn't say it because, as you mention, they're miked and on camera 24/7. 

1 hour ago, Talented Tenth said:

There was no footage of Rayna saying the word and at the reunion Eddie claimed not to remember accusing Rayna then said "if" he said it.  Even in the unseen footage, he backtracked and said maybe it wasn't her.  He even backpedaled in the conversation when he accused her.

Exactly, It appears to be Eddie's MO, blatantly lying despite footage to the contrary. Anyone remember Rocky?

Edited February 9, 2022 by snarts

[iMonrey]

Quote

But we do know she didn't say it because, as you mention, they're miked and on camera 24/7. 

That doesn't prove she didn't say something. It only proves Bravo didn't want to show us any footage, if there was anything to show. Bottom line, we can only know what she did say if we ourselves heard it. We cannot know what she didn't say. 

Quote

Exactly, It appears to be Eddie's MO, blatantly lying despite footage to the contrary. Anyone remember Rocky?

Yeah and he owned up to it.

[snarts]

32 minutes ago, iMonrey said:

That doesn't prove she didn't say something. It only proves Bravo didn't want to show us any footage, if there was anything to show. Bottom line, we can only know what she did say if we ourselves heard it. We cannot know what she didn't say. 

Yeah and he owned up to it.

If the producers were hiding footage to protect Rayna, why in the world would they air the previuosly unseen footage of Eddie's accusation?

Re: Rocky - he "owned up to it" only AFTER repeatedly denying/lying to everyone & making Rocky look crazy. I gave him a pass that time assuming he was just embarrassed. Now I'm beginning to see a pattern. If he knowingly lies while being filmed, imagine how he acts without the cameras? 

[Passing Strange]

It feels like I have a better understanding of Rayna after the reunion. We've all had that experience where you're concentrating so hard on what you're doing you don't notice when someone else comes into the room. Then that person speaks and you shriek with fear. It doesn't matter that the other person had no intention of harming you or didn't mean to scare you, the fear was real. That's what happened to Rayna, only what she felt was a deep hurt. It didn't matter that Heather didn't direct the word at her, or had no intention of causing hurt, or even that Rayna used the word herself. In that situation Rayna felt pain and it was real. What she wanted was just for someone to acknowledge that hurt. Instead what she got were sanctimonious declarations about how use of the word was not OK, which, duh. Rayna was annoying as fuck many times during the season, but most people on the boat failed her on that one.

Rachel's mad, bad, and dangerous to know shtick is kind of scary. I don't think she's totally kidding. Her food looked great but there are lots of good chefs in the world, some of whom can even communicate without being vulgar.

Eddie sucks on so many levels it's not even funny.

Lee has been hit with some serious stuff the last couple of years. I don't think he's checked out as much as trying to put himself back together. If he succeeds I believe he'll be back. As much as I dislike his blustering that rarely leads to anything, I think he's realistic and has never come to believe his own PR. He's fine with selling books and merch and doing speaking engagements, but he knows he's not the stud of the sea and doesn't want to be. He had the line of the night about Jake and his pants.

[Meowwww]

It’s the Rayna show, because they are afraid of backlash.  
I’m a black female.  Rayna played this whole thing. It’s disgusting.  

[Moosmom22]

10 hours ago, Talented Tenth said:

The n word is always going to be questionable coming out of a white person's mouth in America.  With American history, that shouldn't be hard to understand.  

Let's say your significant other says something sexy to you and a stranger overhears.  Let's say that stranger then says the exact same thing to you in the exact same tone.  It's going to be creepy, right?  It would be creepy because that person doesn't have the relationship with you to be able to speak to you that way.  

Black people in America have a connection, bond and shared experience so when a faction of the Black community uses the n word colloquially, it is understood it is not used as a slur/offense.  White Americans do not have the relationship with Black people to say the word even with the same tone.  If a mother disciplines a child, an outsider saying the same things in the same way would be offensive to the mother.  If your friend teases you, an outsider saying the same thing in the same way might offend because you don't have the same relationship.  I'm not Jewish, Italian or Asian and I'm not going to start using cultural slang/colloquialisms around those groups even if they do because I'm not a part of those groups.  

It seems like people can understand that women use the word bitch, but a straight man saying it takes on a different vibe even if he says it in the exact same way.  People can understand that gays can use certain slang among each other but it hits differently coming from someone straight. 

Why can't people understand when it comes to the n word?

I have a hard time understanding it, though I know it is wrong to say the word as a Caucasian. I am a Jew and I would never call another Jew the K word or any other word that is used as a slur against Jews. I don't know that other ethnicities do call each other slurs. I think the N word is an ugly word as are all racial/ethnic slurs. I don't understand how you take the power from those that used the word originally by using it yourself. Honestly, I hate hearing it over and over again in songs and in songs where they only say it once or twice, I have accidentally said it myself why singing the lyrics. I then chastise myself for letting it slip out, but when you are singing along to a song, you are not really thinking about what your are saying.

[Xebug67]

On 2/7/2022 at 7:44 PM, Mr. Miner said:

Wes is such a classy guy. If only he was a little darker, he could get a much deserved apology from Rayna.

What the heck was that?  NO apology whatsoever from this POS human being to the nicest crew member on the show.  And of course, not surprisingly, a--hole Andy doesn't call her out, nor did anyone else, for her belittling of Wes.  I hope this bitch rots in hell.

[Zaffy]

I have to admit the reunion was more interesting than all the episodes before it.

I am not sure about the whole Rayna thing, and having in mind what occurred in the Med series with the other black lady, maybe it is tough for young black people from US to be in the world of yachting. I cannot really judge them, since I am white and from Europe and I know sh1t about their problems except from what I watch in the news.
But it did strike me when Rayna said something like she didn't know what was expected from her and that she didn't to come out like an angry black woman, etc etc. Did she ever feel like she could be belong? Did she ever wanted to belong in the yachting community? Is this too "white" for her? she believes yachting  is world still racist against black people? I have no clue, it wouldn't surprised me if yachting was indeed a racist world for both employees and clients.  
I do not think that casting Lexey in BDM and Rayna in BD was a coincidence. Maybe the show  did it to have more diversity or  just thrive from the drama that would be created. Well, it could be both, but one thing is for sure, BD didn't really know what to do with it and its hesitation to deal with the whole situation made this a mess of a season. They tried to turn Rayna into somekind of a villain, while the whole boat was full with mostly ignorant and confused people. Like Heather who thought that "parroting" the N word would be cool and make her likable to her black co-worker.  Or Eddie (what a disappointment) who, let's be honest here, reacted like if Rayna was just another black person whining too much for nothing.  
What a disappointing season..

[Welshman in Ca]

I'm not going to go into the rights & wrongs of the whole Rayna/Heather mess but the thing that stood out to me was when Andy said that there was no footage found of Rayna saying the f word she started screaming and attacking anyone in earshot, and when he tried to explain to her that the statement was backing up her version of events she still kept screaming rather than listening. She has way more issues going on than we have seen & needs therapy to work through them.

On another note I thought Rachel looked stunning. As we used to say when I was younger, she scrubs up well.

 

[bencr]

On 2/8/2022 at 4:09 PM, iMonrey said:

I'll say this one last time, I don't think Eddie or Lee "bungled" anything WRT Rayna. Eddie had a sit-down with Rayna about her job performance and she told him Heather said something offensive and it was bothering her. 

What was the "correct" course of action at that point? That Eddie run to Lee and say "Heather said the "n" word and Rayna is upset?" And then Eddie and Lee could sit down with Heather and say "Why did you say the "n" word?" And then Heather could explain she merely repeated something Rayna said, and that Rayna corrected her later, and she apologized, and Rayna accepted her apology.

I mean, what would have changed? What would that have fixed? Once Eddie and/or Lee hear the whole story, the matter is closed. There's nothing further to be done once Heather apologizes and Rayna accepts that apology.

When the "n" word is used and an African-American crew mate is upset to the point where she claims it affects her job performance, you bet I think it should be brought to the attention of the head of the boat. Whether it requires any disciplinary action is a separate issue.

 

 

Edited February 10, 2022 by bencr

[nokat]

19 hours ago, Talented Tenth said:

There was no footage of Rayna saying the word and at the reunion Eddie claimed not to remember accusing Rayna then said "if" he said it.  Even in the unseen footage, he backtracked and said maybe it wasn't her.  He even backpedaled in the conversation when he accused her.

Yes, it's okay for Rayna to use it.  She's a part of the oppressed group the word was used against and the group that flipped its usage.  White people get to enjoy white privilege and Black people get to use the n word.  Wanna switch sides?

 

I think it's like oppressed people want to take back the word, but using it is wrong too. If you want to take away the sting, stop using it. It isn't right in any way.

[psychoticstate]

22 hours ago, Talented Tenth said:

There was no footage of Rayna saying the word and at the reunion Eddie claimed not to remember accusing Rayna then said "if" he said it.  Even in the unseen footage, he backtracked and said maybe it wasn't her.  He even backpedaled in the conversation when he accused her.

Yes, it's okay for Rayna to use it.  She's a part of the oppressed group the word was used against and the group that flipped its usage.  White people get to enjoy white privilege and Black people get to use the n word.  Wanna switch sides?

 

This isn't about black vs. white or gay vs. straight.  It's also not about privilege, although if you want to talk about privilege, let's talk about Rayna bring up how Heather used the word every time she got any kind of criticism and/or broke out into tears.  And let's talk about how when what went down with Heather was not given proper context.  

Respectfully disagree that it's okay for Rayna to use the word.  IMO, it's a vile, ugly word and shouldn't be used by ANYONE.   Frankly, it's equal to a parent telling their child not to curse and punishing the child for cursing while every other word out of their mouth is cussing.  

23 hours ago, iMonrey said:

We don't know his accusation was false. That's an awfully specific and strange thing to accuse her of if she never actually said it. Especially when you're on a reality show and you know you're on camera 24/7. Andy claimed they couldn't find any footage of Rayna using that word but that doesn't mean there wasn't any. I've noticed a conspicuous attempt to give her a generous edit.

Well, exactly. Heather never used the word as a slur or called Rayna that word or told a joke using the word. She simply mimicked something Rayna said. The intent, context and tone was completely innocuous aside from the word itself. Frankly if Rayna was that bent out of shape over this one incident - given the context - she has deeper problems to deal with.

Not only that, on that last outing she accused Heather of being rudest to Kaylee. You know, Heather's friend that she brought on board herself. WTF. She's downright delusional and just lashes out like a cornered wild animal.

EXACTLY.  Thank you.  

[Sunnykm]

The arrogance of the entitled    I am a white woman so I guess I have no provenance in this but I do have an opinion, it appeared to me that everyone was afraid to engage Rayna and she knew she had free reign to blast anyone or rebuke anyone and no one would have any reason to stop her.

[Talented Tenth]

On 2/9/2022 at 6:27 PM, iMonrey said:

That's your opinion and you have a right to it. I respect that. However that's not a universal truth. Not every person of color feels they have the "right" to use an offensive word, and in fact many feel it sends a mixed message, especially to the youth of any race when used in rap and other artistic expression.

I agree that every Black person doesn't like the usage of the word, but there are those who do use it colloquially.  I want it to be kept in mind that it's not strictly the word itself that's offensive -- it's who's using it.  People create words and apply a meaning.  If it wasn't the n word, it would be another word.  If it were up to me, colloquial use would be limited to spaces were no other racial group would ever hear it.

[Talented Tenth]

18 hours ago, psychoticstate said:

This isn't about black vs. white or gay vs. straight.  It's also not about privilege, although if you want to talk about privilege, let's talk about Rayna bring up how Heather used the word every time she got any kind of criticism and/or broke out into tears.  And let's talk about how when what went down with Heather was not given proper context.  

Respectfully disagree that it's okay for Rayna to use the word.  IMO, it's a vile, ugly word and shouldn't be used by ANYONE.   Frankly, it's equal to a parent telling their child not to curse and punishing the child for cursing while every other word out of their mouth is cussing.  

 

Why don't people fight so hard for women not to use bitch?  I feel like anti-Blackness is so ingrained in people that Black people are held to unfair and different standards or when it comes to Black people there is a subconscious animosity/hostility.  The way a lot of comments come across indicates that there is a lack of understanding, compassion and kindness when approaching racial subjects.  People come from an "us. vs. them" mentality.  It seems like people feel that if they can't use it Black people can't either.  Again, I say that others enjoy privilege and Black people can use the word as a colloquialism.  The vile history of treatment of Blacks and the slur being used against that group is the reason an altered version of the word is used anyway.  I think it's absurd for one group of people to enslave and oppress and then basically say, "I racially abused you with a slur, you took it and flipped/altered it as a colloquialism and now that I can't say it because it's questionable coming out of my white mouth, you can't say it either".

[Passing Strange]

3 hours ago, Talented Tenth said:

I think it's absurd for one group of people to enslave and oppress and then basically say, "I racially abused you with a slur, you took it and flipped/altered it as a colloquialism and now that I can't say it because it's questionable coming out of my white mouth, you can't say it either".

This. ^

Black people: We can say the word. You can't.

White People: What?! That's a double standard!

Black people: Welcome to our word.

[nokat]

3 hours ago, Talented Tenth said:

Why don't people fight so hard for women not to use bitch?

I somewhat understand this as I will call a woman a bitch and told my husband if he ever calls me that he will be in pain. I know it's not right for me to say it either but it doesn't have the same derogatory power, if that makes sense.

[PaperTree]

On 2/11/2022 at 2:25 PM, nokat said:

I somewhat understand this as I will call a woman a bitch and told my husband if he ever calls me that he will be in pain. I know it's not right for me to say it either but it doesn't have the same derogatory power, if that makes sense.

Then there's the c-word.....  Being a guy, I know when to STFU.😎  It's not hard.

[nokat]

3 hours ago, PaperTree said:

Then there's the c-word.....  Being a guy, I know when to STFU.😎  It's not hard.

I won't say that to someone's face, but I'll certainly think it. Or say it to my TV that doesn't care.

[Lassus]

On 2/8/2022 at 4:09 PM, iMonrey said:

What was the "correct" course of action at that point? That Eddie run to Lee and say "Heather said the "n" word and Rayna is upset?" And then Eddie and Lee could sit down with Heather and say "Why did you say the "n" word?" And then Heather could explain she merely repeated something Rayna said, and that Rayna corrected her later, and she apologized, and Rayna accepted her apology.

I mean, what would have changed? What would that have fixed? Once Eddie and/or Lee hear the whole story, the matter is closed. There's nothing further to be done once Heather apologizes and Rayna accepts that apology.

I agree with just about everything you've said, but yes, elevating it immediately would have been the correct thing.  What that would have changed, I have no idea, but IMO Eddie did in fact definitely bungle that part.

Edited February 14, 2022 by Lassus

[Lassus]

Shout-out to Talented Tenth for being clear and accurate in this thread, IMO.

[lilmarysunshine]

On 2/8/2022 at 4:23 PM, Talented Tenth said:

Rayna using the n word as a colloquialism will never be the same as the n word coming out of white person's mouth.

 

Of course it isn’t. Even Andy Cohen said this so it must be true!

Too bad, then, that word is so prominent on social media and in music and used casually and colloquially by Rayna around people who are never permitted to use it. So obvious is her desire to bludgeon Heather with it in an effort to detract from her own shortcomings. And I don’t even like Heather but I like Rayna even less. 

Edited February 15, 2022 by lilmarysunshine

[Oosala]

1.  Eddie is a liar.

2.  Rayna's makeup was awful.

That is all.

[MargaritaGal]

The word should never be used, by anyone, period.

[Imara219]

Below Deck is usually my fun frothy show to watch so as a Black woman who occasionally uses the N-word colloquially and who has been on the racist receiving end of being called that word, this season was stunning. I can not fathom why non-Black people are holding on with clenched fists regarding the word. It's not difficult to understand. It's not difficult to process.

As Colonizer Oppressors, you don't get to use that word in any context or tone. It isn't ever ok. It's a word off-limits to your racial community and that's just the bottom line. You don't have to understand it, you don't have to get upset over that, you don't get to police other Black people over their usage.

All marginalized and oppressed groups do this with their language. Little people made demands to change derogatory terminology, Native Americans have come out and demanded proper affiliated language, Roma have said not to use the g word.

We all accept it as is as decent common courtesy. Instead, I see people commenting that a Black woman is using her "privilege" to say the word but be upset 😔. Instead, non-Black people are trying to patrol how a marginalized group feels about the hatred they created and released. You don't have the right to do any of that. Instead of checking yourself you keep trying and failing to understand what the problem is.

At this point, it appears several of you do not care because you don't like being held accountable. I was alright watching the season unfold because I have been in Rayna's place. I had to sit in my Administrator's office and listen to them tell me that the n-word was ok and just eat it. Yet the enjoyment of the season died reading these boards and seeing these comments and subconscious bias, microaggressions,  and racism are present right here. 

[Welshman in Ca]

13 hours ago, Imara219 said:

Below Deck is usually my fun frothy show to watch so as a Black woman who occasionally uses the N-word colloquially and who has been on the racist receiving end of being called that word, this season was stunning. I can not fathom why non-Black people are holding on with clenched fists regarding the word. It's not difficult to understand. It's not difficult to process.

As Colonizer Oppressors, you don't get to use that word in any context or tone. It isn't ever ok. It's a word off-limits to your racial community and that's just the bottom line. You don't have to understand it, you don't have to get upset over that, you don't get to police other Black people over their usage.

All marginalized and oppressed groups do this with their language. Little people made demands to change derogatory terminology, Native Americans have come out and demanded proper affiliated language, Roma have said not to use the g word.

We all accept it as is as decent common courtesy. Instead, I see people commenting that a Black woman is using her "privilege" to say the word but be upset 😔. Instead, non-Black people are trying to patrol how a marginalized group feels about the hatred they created and released. You don't have the right to do any of that. Instead of checking yourself you keep trying and failing to understand what the problem is.

At this point, it appears several of you do not care because you don't like being held accountable. I was alright watching the season unfold because I have been in Rayna's place. I had to sit in my Administrator's office and listen to them tell me that the n-word was ok and just eat it. Yet the enjoyment of the season died reading these boards and seeing these comments and subconscious bias, microaggressions,  and racism are present right here. 

I don't mind being held accountable for something I said or did but calling everyone Colonizer Oppressors is ridiculous.

[iMonrey]

Quote

I can not fathom why non-Black people are holding on with clenched fists regarding the word. It's not difficult to understand.

Where in this forum have you read one single post in which someone defended the use of that word? Nobody thinks Heather was in the right to say it. It's Rayna reaction to it that I take exception to, and her use of that incident as a cudgel whenever someone dared to call her out or criticize her. She was disingenuous from the start about what she was really upset by and used that incident as a deflection.

[Imara219]

6 hours ago, iMonrey said:

Where in this forum have you read one single post in which someone defended the use of that word? Nobody thinks Heather was in the right to say it. It's Rayna reaction to it that I take exception to, and her use of that incident as a cudgel whenever someone dared to call her out or criticize her. She was disingenuous from the start about what she was really upset by and used that incident as a deflection.

I mean I was pretty clear that the overall policing and constant "I dont understand whys.." And actual comment of "Black" privilege contributed to my comment and feelings. 

[Imara219]

7 hours ago, Welshman in Ca said:

I don't mind being held accountable for something I said or did but calling everyone Colonizer Oppressors is ridiculous.

If you are an American with white European racial roots committing and negatively analyzing how Rayna choose to process her white co worker causal using the N-word then yes you are a part of the Oppressor group, thats a fact. Structural racism and poverty is a reality. If you personally feel my comment wasn't for you then it isn't for you.  

[Baltimore Betty]

2 hours ago, Welshman in Ca said:

A lot of people on here have never said it was okay in any way shape or form, the main topic seems to be that Heather has apologised at least 3 times & the apology has been accepted at least 3 times by Rayna, if she doesn't accept it say so. Yet you still seem to think "everyone" on this website is a "colonizer oppressor" which they are obviously not.

I agree with you @Welshman in Ca, the point of all of this was Rayna's asshole behavior in saying to Heather that all was good and apology accepted...twice...but she wasn't good with it and talked bad about Heather to anyone with ears not whether or not she (Rayna) was allowed to use the N word or not.  I refuse to get in to a discussion on race relations about this because anyone can be an asshole about anything and Rayna was a passive aggressive asshole this season.

I can tell you that as a Jew we do not use derogatory slang when referring to each other, those words are horrible, why normalize them?

In other news, do you think TPTB would ever do an All Star charter season, bring back all the memorable crew members and put them on the same season?  Just a thought.

 

[oakville]

On 2/8/2022 at 12:24 AM, aghst said:

Heather and Fraser wanted to get Jess out.  She wanted to bring on her friend so she needed a reason like Jess isn’t cheerful enough!

”There was no bullying!”  

Cameras say otherwise.

 

I found that Heather & Fraser were like the 2 cool kids in high school that wanted to pick on the new kid in class.  I lost interest in the show due to their bullying of Jess.

this was my least favorite season of Below Deck.

[Sunnykm]

Jess was not a good stew.  She was an easy mark for the mean girls--Heather and Fraser.

[JdV999]

What Rayner said to Wes was FAR more racist than what Heather said 

Heather stupidly repeated the phrase Rayner had just said. The word was not directed at Rayner or meant in a derogatory way. 
 

When Raynor called Wes “White” and said he was not black it was done in an aggressive way and designed to be hurtful but she was not even challenged on this on the reunion show. That part was just glossed over. 
 

Wes is an honourable person. Raynor is a despicable excuse for a human being. 

[maggiemae]

Seemed to me Eddie could complain to the Cap about crap but not major crap. After Cap told him to handle things. Too much pop-pop.

Rachel did not get the accolades she deserved. Basically ignored.

Heather was safe too and I thought she was toxic. Vague and not nice.

She went to the Captain about the Maki Maki. When in a restaurant one orders Maki Maki. Not Maki.

Heather's dinner order taken was for Maki Maki for the first kid - he wanted 2, TWO.

Her other written shorthand were...

Maki

Maki

Maki.

If I were Rachel I would have taken the order as 4, not 5. And certainly not double for the first. Heather blew it off.

Like the condiments for the beach.

Hope never to see Heather again. Certainly not a leader or team player.