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S06.E18: Reunion Part 1


Message added by TexasGal,

Hey DMV'ers - we're starting to spiral in here.  Remember, state your opinion once, and move on - no one is ever going to "win" an argument on the forums, so it's not fruitful to keep going back and forth. Also, bum fights, personal experiences with people helping their children financially and other people's reactions to that are not on topic in this thread.  Let's focus on the episode please!

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33 minutes ago, Rlb8031 said:

 

And to answer your question the concept of generational wealth is not something that is specific to POC. Its just an phrase that has become popular in the last decade or so to describe why there is such a disparity in outcomes between white and minority communities. "Poor" whites still have access to capital and inherit wealth in ways that "poor" minorities do not. And yes that has a ton to do with home ownership, redlining, and the devaluing of homes in minority communities (even when those communities have similar housing stock to white areas) that have resulted in less wealth being passed between families in similar situations.

Understood. I am familiar with the actual issues of redlining and defecto segregation. Isabel Wilkerson's masterpiece (The Warmth of Other Suns) chronicling the migration of blacks from the South to the North in the years after WW I brought me to tears in terms of how different the history of our country could have been if not for the evil of racism and how it shaped the northern ghettos.

However I wasn't aware of the specific term until fairly recently. I did a bit of T&E law and perhaps I heard it then but that seemed to be about Rockefeller, Morgan type of generational trusts skipping generations for tax purposes and not "normal" people of any color leaving money to their children when they died. Of course only the wealthiest (of any color) actually have "generational wealth" - i.e. so much assets that the capital would almost certainly not be depleted by several generations of heirs. Even the idiots like Bronfman who made a series of terrible financial decisions couldn't manage to lose it all.

Edited by amarante
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21 hours ago, RealReality said:

I think I see these two things differently because you just know Dot was dying to be on TV and cause a fracas.  Dot gave as good as she got and sometimes gave better.  But with Mia, the storyline with her mom is just, she shits all over her mom and her mom just takes being shit all over.  We never even got to hear her mothers side of the story about that fight.  Mia is using her mother's addiction for a storyline and mostly for sympathy and cover.  

Okay, but Mia's life is what it is. I don't think she's using her , if her mother agreed to do this show then she has to accept whatever happens.  I see it the same because Candiace can't point out to Mia that she paraded her mother on the show for a storyline , because all she talked about was Dorothy period ! Candiace had nothing else going on except Dorothy. I understand that Dorothy loves the camera, but that wasn't pretty at all.   

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12 minutes ago, byrd said:

Okay, but Mia's life is what it is. I don't think she's using her , if her mother agreed to do this show then she has to accept whatever happens.  I see it the same because Candiace can't point out to Mia that she paraded her mother on the show for a storyline , because all she talked about was Dorothy period ! Candiace had nothing else going on except Dorothy. I understand that Dorothy loves the camera, but that wasn't pretty at all.   

I think the difference is that Dorothy does not appear to be a weak person with a troubled pass. She seems to be more like Kandi's mother in that her relationship with her daughter including her demeaning the husband was viewed quite negatively by many viewers.

Ironically of course Kandi's mother seemed to be financially dependent on Kandi to an unhealthy degree which played into dysfunctional dynamics versus the opposite with Dorothy. 

Mia's mother seemed to be emotionally fragile and I am not buying that Mia doesn't harbor ill feelings towards the mother for what went on in her past especially since there seems to be some kind of difference between relationships with the child who she nanny's for and Mia with whom she had no relationship until the show.

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2 hours ago, amarante said:

Mia's mother seemed to be emotionally fragile and I am not buying that Mia doesn't harbor ill feelings towards the mother for what went on in her past especially since there seems to be some kind of difference between relationships with the child who she nanny's for and Mia with whom she had no relationship until the show.

I can totally see Mia justifying her use of her mother as part of her storyline and her treatment of her on camera as a way for her mother to repay her for the troubles of her youth. 

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HEY!  FOR REAL!  Discussion of housewives from other franchises supporting their children is off topic in this thread!  If you want to discuss Candiace and her mom specifically, please take it to Candiace's thread.  I've hidden a bunch of posts.  Don't make me turn this car around kids. 

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@lasu - just WOW! Thanks for that info. 

I personally believe after watching the show, G would have 100% gave Mia $10,000 for her time. He gave her an entire franchise so what's $10,000 bucks. And personally, I'm not mad at her. 

I can't believe the way these Potomac ladies are clutching their pearls and gasping at the fact that Mia was a stripper. I honestly don't see what the big deal is - sex work and adult entertainment is legitimate work if you are a consenting and willing participant. I subscribe to a YouTube channel for a girl who is a stripper - I am equal parts fascinated, impressed (as she has used the money to venture into other businesses) and at times jealous. If I figure out a way to be 30 years younger and 100 pounds lighter then learn to dance it's over for everyone 😂😂

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3 hours ago, lasu said:

Well, I never thought my questionable past would pay off on a reality show forum, but here we are! 

In my life I have probably been to 5 different strip clubs, culminating in maybe 20 visits.  And the vast majority of them?  THE MEN'S CLUB IN RALEIGH NC!  I had to hit pause when I realized that's where she worked.  Not only have I been there a bunch of times, my roommate about 15 years ago worked there while we lived together.  If I was still in touch with her, I would definitely ask her if she knew Mia, if they overlapped.

What I can tell you: 

  • For a strip club, it's nice.  When it first opened in (I think!) the early nineties as Thee Dollhouse (I still call it Thee Men's Club, lol), it was honestly one of the nicest clubs in Raleigh, because there wasn't much here.  It was actually a fun place to get dressed up and go.  However, it's about 30 years old now, so it's not as nice.
  • It's not the nicest or newest strip club since Capital Cabaret opened about 10 years ago.  I would guess when Mia was working, The Men's Club was still the best one to work at.  Most of the women I knew who worked there started at The Men's Club and worked their way down as they got older or more into bad scenes, if they didn't work their way out of the strip clubs all together.  (My roommate's best friend who got her the job there was the story you always hear and never think actually happened - she stripped her way through college and law school, buying a townhouse along the way, and last I heard was a successful practicing lawyer.  My roommate didn't do so well, but I heard she's doing better these days.)
  • While, yes, for a strip club, it's nice, but it's not NEARLY on the level Mia makes it out to be.  Not even close.  Like any sleazy strip club, you have to pay to work there.  My roommate once had to call and get my boyfriend and I to come up there at 3 in the morning on a weeknight because between her bar bill and her fees, she hadn't made enough to pay the club and couldn't leave.  Strip clubs don't treat women well as rule, and this one is not the exception.
  • The only thing that really makes this "upscale" is that you have to pay an entry fee and you have to wear a collared shirt.  You only have to be 18 to get in.  Other than that, there are shot girls you can take shots between their boobs, bartenders and servers are in lingerie (not ballgowns), lap dances, girls giving massages, all the girls coming out on stage in a line up to Motley Crue's Girls, Girls, Girls...it's a strip club.  It's not some fancy exclusive gentlemen's club. Oh, the one other concession to "upscale" is the women had to cover their tattoos.
  • They let women into the foyer area of the men's bathroom, which actually was really nice with an attendant and all that shit.  The women's bathroom was laughably run down in comparison and always full of strippers blowing lines, or once getting into a fist fight!  Both bathrooms had their appeal! lol
  • There is a pole on the center stage, she lied about that.  There are also poles for the naked girls dancing in go-go cages.  She might not have been a pole dancer (that shit is HARD. Legit respect for people who make it look easy), but there are plenty of poles in that place.
  • There are back rooms.  I have no idea why she would front on that.  I haven't personally been in them, but you can go get semi or completely private lap dances. My roommate said some girls make plans to go further elsewhere later, but not much happens other than a guy ruining his pants in the backrooms.
  • The Champagne Lounge is NOT fancy.  Because I've always gone with a group, there is more group seating in the VIP area, so we almost always headed straight there.  Entry point is a jacked up $100 bottle of cheap champagne. Five people throwing in $20 buck to get into the VIP area isn't exactly big balling.  I'm also not sure how her husband "built" it.
  • What she said about there being a make up artist and all of that is absolutely true, but the dancers pay out of pocket for those services.  Most do their own for just that reason.
  • The women do wear dresses like Mia described, and you buy them at Adult Stores.  She failed to mention that the reason she would take it off is that she was giving a lap dance or dancing on stage, and she didn't complete her thought when she said she would then be in her boyshorts.  Yes, accurate, but then she would have taken those off too, because the money goes in the g-string.
  • You absolutely would see dancers with their dresses fully on talking with men.  In a very sleazy way, the club absolutely encouraged the women to get as many free drinks as they could.  So sometimes a dancer would be sitting there with a free drink, but not actually getting "paid for her time." I don't question for a second that they would sometimes get paid to sit and chat, but not at $10K an hour, lol.  A lap dance would run about $25-$40 for about five minutes, and I'd imagine that's the same price would get.  So, maybe topping out at $500 an hour.  I doubt that kind of money for time happened often though.
  • Yes, they have a restaurant with lobsters and steak.  I have no idea if it's any good.  The last time I went, about 10 years ago, was on my birthday (I share a birthday with a male friend - we went bowling for my part and to the strip club for his.  It was an epic night known as the Balls and Boobies Birthday), and I did pay for the breakfast buffet that happens right after closing, but then I was like, "It's 3AM and I'm about to eat scrambled eggs in a closed strip club."  I decided this wasn't the direction I wanted to take my life and left.  So I can't speak to the food.

This is neither here nor there, but the first time I ever went was my first experience at a strip club, when I was about 21 years old.  I was with a group, and two women at a table behind us pulled my hair (not in a mean way, just a tug to get my attention) and we chatted for a few minutes.  Then I turned back to my table, and was like, "Y'all, they are so nice!" and every died laughing because it had never occurred to me I was being hit on.  Ah, my sweet naïve young self.

So insightful thank you that trip to the strip club, I've never been to one, I feel like I have after reading this.. 

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1 hour ago, Boofish said:

I can't believe the way these Potomac ladies are clutching their pearls and gasping at the fact that Mia was a stripper. I honestly don't see what the big deal is - sex work and adult entertainment is legitimate work if you are a consenting and willing participant.

I have my own feelings about sex work but I ain't mad at Mia for using that as a stepping stone to advance herself.  She's not stripping now and it was smart of her to parlay her stripping experience into owning a massage franchise.  I'm pretty sure some of her former clients at Ballgownz & Strippers became her clients down at the Massage Envy and brought in their wives/girlfriends as customers too.

Half of the women on this cast spread their legs for men with money (that they were able to convert to husbands). So they can miss me with looking down on Mia for stripping.

I particularly enjoyed the part where Wendy tried to shade Mia about all of her plastic surgery when Wendy was fresh from the Dominican Republic having had all the works and add ons herself.

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1 hour ago, Boofish said:

I personally believe after watching the show, G would have 100% gave Mia $10,000 for her time. He gave her an entire franchise so what's $10,000 bucks. And personally, I'm not mad at her. 

Same.  I think it's entirely possible, but this isn't the kind of place that is going down routinely.

 

46 minutes ago, byrd said:

So insightful thank you that trip to the strip club, I've never been to one, I feel like I have after reading this.. 

You should take a shower to get rid of all the glitter. And shame, lol. 

 

29 minutes ago, drivethroo said:

but I ain't mad at Mia for using that as a stepping stone to advance herself. 

Not at all.  And the fact that she had a ME franchise locked down before she even married him is impressive.

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On 11/8/2021 at 11:08 AM, Mr. Miner said:

Giselle didn't say it was okay, she just said she wouldn't have been surprised.

Thank you! Obviously physical violence isn't okay but it truly amuses me to no end how this is supposed to mean that it can't be a possibility.

Just because it's wrong doesn't mean you ignore the possibility of it happening.

Is it okay for a car to hit me just because I'm jaywalking? Would I expect the car to slow down and do everything in it's power not to hit my dumb ass? Well of course. Does that mean I should blindly throw my ass into the street and cross at any old time without being concerned about the cars on the road. Ummmmmmm, duh! 

 Just because it shouldn't happen doesn't mean in can't happen and Candyass be playing that Russian Roulette with her mouth expecting the gun to be empty. Dumb, dumb, dumb.

I think Giz was just pointing out that Candyass doesn't even contribute to her own well being instead she counts on the very beast she's trying to unleash to then police themselves and for it to not end badly for her. Like girl bye. It's the silliest logic ever. Especially after ALREADY experiencing it backfire on her previously. Ugggghh! The stupid on this girl is hella thick.  

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11 minutes ago, Yours Truly said:

Is it okay for a car to hit me just because I'm jaywalking? Would I expect the car to slow down and do everything in it's power not to hit my dumb ass? Well of course. Does that mean I should blindly throw my ass into the street and cross at any old time without being concerned about the cars on the road. Ummmmmmm, duh! 

But...you, as the jaywalker, would be in the wrong, but you expect other people, the drivers, to control themselves and not run you down just because you're in the wrong.  The same should apply to Candiace.  She may be in the wrong sometimes with her slick mouth, but that doesn't make it ok for others to punch her in the face.

I don't think anyone has denied the possibility of it happening.  That would be weird since we have literally seen Candiace be assaulted for the words she used.  But I can't fathom why the onus is on Candiace to control her mouth, and not on others to control their hands.

Just because it shouldn't happen doesn't mean in can't happen and Candyass be playing that Russian Roulette with her mouth expecting the gun to be empty. Dumb, dumb, dumb.

Yes, lots of things that shouldn't happen can indeed happen.  I still wear short skirts.

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On 11/8/2021 at 1:02 PM, bichonblitz said:

How does she cut to the meat? With her high school insults? 

I'm still trying to understand this praise and awe about her "reads".  What does stand out about her so called reads is her body language, facial expressions and exaggerated pronounciation. It's the stank attitude and aggressive intention that makes her so called comebacks seem like something more than they are. At least to some people anyway. I roll my eyes at her corny ass cause her little comments aren't all that. Puleeezzee.

The ladies aren't crying or hurt or devastated by her words they just repeat her own nonsense back to her in complete disbelief (well probably not anymore since it's so common now) that she's spouting such childish and lame shit. LOL 

Expressing their disapproval at later times is also not them crying about it like she floored them with a zinger. It's just them calling out how ridiculous or unnecessary or inappropriate her bullshit comments are in general. 

Edited by Yours Truly
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On 11/8/2021 at 5:07 PM, Rlb8031 said:

See I took this the other way. He's physical with her because she has a tendency to make aggressive moves - she definitely has tries to make folks flinch - as Ashley pointed out at the reunion. I think when she bucks he steps in to make sure she isn't doing more than yapping.

I feel like he's doing it more now cause maybe, just maybe he's extra nervous that someone will drag his wife YET AGAIN?? Hmmmmmm. I mean, apparently Candyass proved that she's someone who makes the slap hand happy (right or wrong it is what it is) so maybe Chris is extra jumpy when these arguments escalate and is sorta afraid for Candyass safety? Sometimes it looks like he's trying to get her to no bite off more than she can chew. At least that one theory. 

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On 11/8/2021 at 5:57 PM, Chatty Cake said:

I never thought of Candass as witty with her insults. Just trying to go below the belt. She sounds like a fool. Like Ashley pointed out, Canderss is also long in the forehead department.  Candass making fun of Ashley’s weight right after having a baby when that brat gnat knows she can’t have a baby cause her husbands a deadbeat wasn’t particularly funny. Canders called Ashley a slave because her husband supports her financially while her and her husband are on her mamas payroll.  Candiss is actually rather dim. Mean? Yes but good with the comebacks? Nah, not at all.

Agreed!! 100 percent!

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3 hours ago, Boofish said:

@lasu - just WOW! Thanks for that info. 

I personally believe after watching the show, G would have 100% gave Mia $10,000 for her time. He gave her an entire franchise so what's $10,000 bucks. And personally, I'm not mad at her. 

I can't believe the way these Potomac ladies are clutching their pearls and gasping at the fact that Mia was a stripper. I honestly don't see what the big deal is - sex work and adult entertainment is legitimate work if you are a consenting and willing participant. I subscribe to a YouTube channel for a girl who is a stripper - I am equal parts fascinated, impressed (as she has used the money to venture into other businesses) and at times jealous. If I figure out a way to be 30 years younger and 100 pounds lighter then learn to dance it's over for everyone 😂😂

I don't understand the extra attention the wives were trying to put on Mia and her strip club days. I mean she's admitted to all those details. Yeah she isn't about to go into dets about how many twenties went down her ass crack but I mean really? It seems like she's expected to outline it in the most disparaging way possible and I don't get why she's supposed to do that. It can still be honest without her verbally describing the bounce of her naked titties. We can fill in the blanks we don't need Mia to cop to each and every act she performed while working there. It's okay, she's allowed to keep some of that to herself ESPECIALLY since she already shared as much as she has. Damn.

Of course, when Mia narrates it she's trying to describe it in the least skanky way possible and I ain't mad at it. Why is she required to recount that time in a way that sounds trashy, nasty, disgusting and low rent? I get a kick out of how she maneuvers around her description of things. I don't have the knowledge of what an upscale, gentlemen's club would entail so to suggest that it isn't up there at the boogie level would be a guess. I think its funny to infer that it doesn't reach THAT level cause I doubt any of the Potomac women have actually been to a high end gentlemen's club and therefore can't actually draw a comparison. 

I'm guessing most people, including the housewives are using TV, movies, romance novels and just plain ole assumption as their baseline on how truly high end gentle clubs SHOULD BE. Meanwhile we all need to remember, it's a strip club so at the end of the day and no matter how high end I for one don't expect it to be some fantastical, romantic, tasteful version plucked out of a scene from a Bond movie. There's still gonna be a bit of a seedy, a bit of a raunchy and a bit of a risque' ambiance. LOL.  We don't need MIA to explain every little part of the experience in detail. No thanks! 

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5 minutes ago, Yours Truly said:

Of course, when Mia narrates it she's trying to describe it in the least skanky way possible and I ain't mad at it. Why is she required to recount that time in a way that sounds trashy, nasty, disgusting and low rent? I get a kick out of how she maneuvers around her description of things. I don't have the knowledge of what an upscale, gentlemen's club would entail so to suggest that it isn't up there at the boogie level would be a guess. I think its funny to infer that it doesn't reach THAT level cause I doubt any of the Potomac women have actually been to a high end gentlemen's club and therefore can't actually draw a comparison. 

I don't care AT ALL that Mia worked at a strip club.  As mentioned, I've had friends and a roommate who worked at that exact club, and I wouldn't describe them or their jobs as trashy, nasty, disgusting or low rent.  I wouldn't describe Mia that way either.  That said, Mia didn't just maneuver around her description of things.  She flat out lied on more than one point.

And as I went into detail in a post above, I can assure you from PERSONAL experience, this is NOT a high end gentlemen's club.  It's not a trash place, but it's a strip club.  Mia had to PAY to work there.  She used it for a come-up and I'm not the least bit mad about it, but this isn't some exclusive upscale place.  A collared shirt, and ID that says you're 18, and $20 gets you in the door.  Another hundred gets you into the VIP Champagne Lounge.  That's not big baller level.  If anything, I would give Mia MORE props for landing a big fish in a place mostly filled tadpoles.

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1 hour ago, lasu said:

But...you, as the jaywalker, would be in the wrong, but you expect other people, the drivers, to control themselves and not run you down just because you're in the wrong.  The same should apply to Candiace.  She may be in the wrong sometimes with her slick mouth, but that doesn't make it ok for others to punch her in the face.

I don't think anyone has denied the possibility of it happening.  That would be weird since we have literally seen Candiace be assaulted for the words she used.  But I can't fathom why the onus is on Candiace to control her mouth, and not on others to control their hands.

 

 

Yes, lots of things that shouldn't happen can indeed happen.  I still wear short skirts.

But i'd still be in serious danger of getting hit by a car because of my own stupidity and irresponsibility and it wouldn't be a surprise if I did in fact get hit by a car. Right or wrong, who cares? I'll still be in the hospital and that's the point. 

This whole "doesn't make it ok" is so tired. My point is Okay or not Okay at the end of the day CANDYASS is still the one in jeopardy of some serious PHYSICAL repercussions. I mean sure, she can cry foul, be the "one in the right" and all that jazz. Still gonna do it with her jaw wired shut but ya know, she'll be in the right. I mean I guess if that's how we gonna measure who wins and who loses.  I for one would rather not play that game, watch my step and measure the cost. Which CandyAss seems to think isn't something she should consider since her actions are irrelevant apparently. Her unfortunate situations don't happen in a vacuum and this idea that she should not contribute to her own well being confuses me. It being wrong for someone to put hands on someone else doesn't automatically make it OKAY from me to be up in people's personal space trying to escalate emotions. I don't like the concept that CandyAss does NOTHING wrong just because someone else did something worse. CadyASS is ALSO wrong for how she goes about her interaction with others. PERIOD.

My issue with CandyAss is that she's DUMB. Regardless of the argument of who is right and who is wrong in these matters I for one don't put my personal safety in the hands of someone that I know I'm purposely provoking, purposely escalating their emotions and purposely antagonizing.  It's a stupid and dangerous position to take. Not to mention ridiculous. For the life of me I can't understand anyone that wants to start so much smoke without the goods to back it up or at the very least hold their own. And that describes CandyAss to a T. SMH.

Edited by Yours Truly
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1 minute ago, Yours Truly said:

This whole "doesn't make it ok" is so tired. My point is Okay or not Okay at the end of the day CANDYASS is still the one in jeopardy of some serious repercussions. I mean sure, she can cry foul, be the "one in the right" and all that jazz. Still gonna do it with her jaw wired shut but ya know, she'll be in the right. I mean I guess if that's how we gonna measure who wins and who loses.  I for one would rather not play that game, watch my step and measure the cost. Which CandyAss seems to think isn't something she should consider since her actions are irrelevant apparently. Her unfortunate situations don't happen in a vacuum and this idea that she should contribute to her own well being confuses me. It being wrong for someone to put hands on someone else doesn't automatically make it OKAY from me to be up in people's personal space trying to escalate emotions. I don't like the concept that CandyAss does NOTHING wrong just because someone else did something worse. CadyASS is ALSO wrong for how she goes about her interaction with others. PERIOD.

But, it's not ok, lol.  Tired or not, it's still true.

I'm not sure how you're quoting me and then saying that about Candiace doing nothing wrong when I literally said sometimes Candiace is in the wrong with her words.

And I'm not sure how you measure who wins and loses, but I'd say the one who used her words and kept her paycheck is more of a winner than the one who used her hands and got fired.  (All other things being equal.)  There's a reason it's against the law to put your hands on someone, and to my knowledge, there are no exceptions of "but she said something really nasty" that then makes it ok to go ahead and assault someone.  I'll fully admit I'm slick with my words, and if you take it to the next level and lay hands on me, trust me, you'll be paying for it long after my fat lip is all healed up.  I'm not going to be happy about getting a busted lip, but it's better than an assault charge on your record.  I'm not going live scared to open my mouth because some people don't know how to control themselves, and I'm not going to stop wearing short skirts just because some people can't control themselves and take that as an invitation for harassment or assault.

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21 minutes ago, lasu said:

I don't care AT ALL that Mia worked at a strip club.  As mentioned, I've had friends and a roommate who worked at that exact club, and I wouldn't describe them or their jobs as trashy, nasty, disgusting or low rent.  I wouldn't describe Mia that way either.  That said, Mia didn't just maneuver around her description of things.  She flat out lied on more than one point.

And as I went into detail in a post above, I can assure you from PERSONAL experience, this is NOT a high end gentlemen's club.  It's not a trash place, but it's a strip club.  Mia had to PAY to work there.  She used it for a come-up and I'm not the least bit mad about it, but this isn't some exclusive upscale place.  A collared shirt, and ID that says you're 18, and $20 gets you in the door.  Another hundred gets you into the VIP Champagne Lounge.  That's not big baller level.  If anything, I would give Mia MORE props for landing a big fish in a place mostly filled tadpoles.

Well being that I've never been to a high end gentleman's club I'm curious what one uses as an example when rating gentleman's clubs?

I mean if someone said "Well, that one compared to the other one I went to last year had XYZ etc. etc. now THAT'S high end". But I mean just because we expect a "high end" gentleman's club to serve caviar and have a black tie dress code..... is that really the case tho? For all anyone knows (who hasn't been to a top top notch gentlemans club and anyone who has do tell) that establishment just may come pretty close. Who knows? LOL. That's all I'm wondering. 

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18 minutes ago, lasu said:

But, it's not ok, lol.  Tired or not, it's still true.

I'm not sure how you're quoting me and then saying that about Candiace doing nothing wrong when I literally said sometimes Candiace is in the wrong with her words.

And I'm not sure how you measure who wins and loses, but I'd say the one who used her words and kept her paycheck is more of a winner than the one who used her hands and got fired.  (All other things being equal.)  There's a reason it's against the law to put your hands on someone, and to my knowledge, there are no exceptions of "but she said something really nasty" that then makes it ok to go ahead and assault someone.  I'll fully admit I'm slick with my words, and if you take it to the next level and lay hands on me, trust me, you'll be paying for it long after my fat lip is all healed up.  I'm not going to be happy about getting a busted lip, but it's better than an assault charge on your record.  I'm not going live scared to open my mouth because some people don't know how to control themselves, and I'm not going to stop wearing short skirts just because some people can't control themselves and take that as an invitation for harassment or assault.

My thing is, I refrain from being a meanspirited person to people cause A) I don't want to catch a case, B) I don't like hospital stays. C) Being verbally abusive is not okay just like it's not okay to be physically abusive.  

CandyAss likes to be verbally abusive to a level that's unnecessary, is very aggressive with her body language and exercises intimidating behavior.  What she does IS NOT the same as what the other women do. She's no innocent and so I don't like her for good reason. Simple as that. 

Edited by Yours Truly
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7 minutes ago, lasu said:

But, it's not ok, lol.  Tired or not, it's still true.

I'm not sure how you're quoting me and then saying that about Candiace doing nothing wrong when I literally said sometimes Candiace is in the wrong with her words.

And I'm not sure how you measure who wins and loses, but I'd say the one who used her words and kept her paycheck is more of a winner than the one who used her hands and got fired.  (All other things being equal.)  There's a reason it's against the law to put your hands on someone, and to my knowledge, there are no exceptions of "but she said something really nasty" that then makes it ok to go ahead and assault someone.  I'll fully admit I'm slick with my words, and if you take it to the next level and lay hands on me, trust me, you'll be paying for it long after my fat lip is all healed up.  I'm not going to be happy about getting a busted lip, but it's better than an assault charge on your record.  I'm not going live scared to open my mouth because some people don't know how to control themselves, and I'm not going to stop wearing short skirts just because some people can't control themselves and take that as an invitation for harassment or assault.

One thing I've discovered from watching this argument play out over the last two seasons on these boards is that folks have very strongly held beliefs about how the world SHOULD work when it comes to the issue of inciting reactions.

I've come to the conclusion that based upon one's individual circumstances, upbringing and environment people normalize all kinds of reactions. I've got folks that I know that will scream and yell at one another but absolutely draw the line at physical violence. However, those same folks would take their own mama to court if they got into a disagreement over something. And then there are the folks that inhabit a world where a wrong look, an accidental bump, or any particular slight (perceived or actual) is an excuse to throw hands.

I think that Candiace exists in the former world. What @Yours Truly is saying, (I think...feel free to correct me if I'm wrong) is that when someone that thinks like Candiace runs into someone who thinks the exact opposite, they might end up with a completely unexpected, but predictable L. Is is "right"? Maybe not, but it is absolutely foreseeable.

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21 minutes ago, Rlb8031 said:

One thing I've discovered from watching this argument play out over the last two seasons on these boards is that folks have very strongly held beliefs about how the world SHOULD work when it comes to the issue of inciting reactions.

I've come to the conclusion that based upon one's individual circumstances, upbringing and environment people normalize all kinds of reactions. I've got folks that I know that will scream and yell at one another but absolutely draw the line at physical violence. However, those same folks would take their own mama to court if they got into a disagreement over something. And then there are the folks that inhabit a world where a wrong look, an accidental bump, or any particular slight (perceived or actual) is an excuse to throw hands.

I think that Candiace exists in the former world. What @Yours Truly is saying, (I think...feel free to correct me if I'm wrong) is that when someone that thinks like Candiace runs into someone who thinks the exact opposite, they might end up with a completely unexpected, but predictable L. Is is "right"? Maybe not, but it is absolutely foreseeable.

You hit the nail on the head... Non physically and with no injury... LOL!

I love this: "Might end up with a unexpected, but PREDICTABLE L". Exactly! Although at this point, and with what CandyAss has already experienced it shouldn't be so unexpected now. 

For me it's this magical place people seem to want to live in which is great and all but to be so stubborn about the reality of other side doesn't make sense. I could even understand that different environments breed different expectations which tracks but CandyASS had her little safe bubble burst last season and yet here we are with her swinging for the fences again. Like, little girl, ain't nothing wrong with taking a step back and reevaluating your method of handling things. For your OWN benefit. Good Grief! 

Point is, people can wax poetic all day and all night but there is such a thing as inviting unnecessary risk into your life and for the life of me I can't understand why CandyASS doesn't exercise a bit more thought in how she chooses to go about her dealings on this show. It's the thick skull that bugs me. Well that and she does seem to have one of the most meanspirited energies among the women. Obviously, they are all catty and have their messy, rude moments and storylines but with CandyASS there's a level of ugly that I just can't stomach. 

 

Edited by Yours Truly
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For me, the difference is whether behavior is understandable verses justified. I can understand someone losing their temper when pressed, but I can't justify it. 

As far as upscale goes, if a place where you can watch 18 year old boys take shots (they literally have non alcoholic ones [they are premade in little syringe shots being carried around by girls dressed up as naughty nurses] specifically so underage kids can get in on the action) from between a woman's boobies is upscale, I don't know what to say. But I personally have been to much nicer strip clubs. So I can compare and tell you it's not nearly as upscale as Mia made it out to be. I'm not disparaging her for having worked there - it seems to have worked out very well for her. 

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26 minutes ago, Yours Truly said:

You hit the nail on the head... Non physically and with no injury... LOL!

I love this: "Might end up with a unexpected, but PREDICTABLE L". Exactly! Although at this point, and with what CandyAss has already experienced it shouldn't be so unexpected now. 

For me it's this magical place people seem to want to live in which is great and all but to be so stubborn about the reality of other side doesn't make sense. I could even understand that different environments breed different expectations which tracks but CandyASS had her little safe bubble burst last season and yet here we are with her swinging for the fences again. Like, little girl, ain't nothing wrong with taking a step back and reevaluating your method of handling things. For your OWN benefit. Good Grief! 

Point is, people can wax poetic all day and all night but there is such a thing as inviting unnecessary risk into your life and for the life of me I can't understand why CandyASS doesn't exercise a bit more thought in how she chooses to go about her dealings on this show. It's the thick skull that bugs me. Well that and she does seem to have one of the most meanspirited energies among the women. Obviously, they are all catty and have their messy, rude moments and storylines but with CandyASS there's a level of ugly that I just can't stomach. 

 

Totally agree with the last part. All the women have been mean but Candiace always goes so low when she really doesn't have to. 

As for their clothes, I actually like Robyn's the best. The light pink looks good. I also like Mia's dress. Wendy and her boobs like ridiculous. She's also being super extra with her constant interjections. 

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3 hours ago, lasu said:

Same.  I think it's entirely possible, but this isn't the kind of place that is going down routinely.

 

You should take a shower to get rid of all the glitter. And shame, lol. 

 

Not at all.  And the fact that she had a ME franchise locked down before she even married him is impressive.

I dont know, Mia seems to peddle in half truths, misrepresentations and outright lies.  

Given her history on inconsequential stuff like "how old is your husband?" I'd kinds want to see receipts on the massage envy and "giving" her a business.  

The funny thing to me is that even if Mia was stripper who slept her way to being a trophy wife, I'd STILL call that a win, because she found a way to make the best out of a horrible situation.  

Ol' girl used what she had to move on up to a deluxe apartment in the sky.  And I haven't even given it away for months!

Edited by RealReality
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1 hour ago, Yours Truly said:

My thing is, I refrain from being a meanspirited person to people cause A) I don't want to catch a case, B) I don't like hospital stays. C) Being verbally abusive is not okay just like it's not okay to be physically abusive.  

CandyAss likes to be verbally abusive to a level that's unnecessary, is very aggressive with her body language and exercises intimidating behavior.  What she does IS NOT the same as what the other women do. She's no innocent and so I don't like her for good reason. Simple as that. 

I responded to this in Candiace's thread since I just saw the below mod note

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4 hours ago, RealReality said:

I dont know, Mia seems to peddle in half truths, misrepresentations and outright lies.  

Given her history on inconsequential stuff like "how old is your husband?" I'd kinds want to see receipts on the massage envy and "giving" her a business.  

The funny thing to me is that even if Mia was stripper who slept her way to being a trophy wife, I'd STILL call that a win, because she found a way to make the best out of a horrible situation.  

Ol' girl used what she had to move on up to a deluxe apartment in the sky.  And I haven't even given it away for months!

Also most strippers and sex workers do NOT have any kind of happy ending - even  if happy ending is interpreted as marrying a rich vulgar old men and being a trophy wife. Marry for money and earn every penny as the cliche goes.

And that is the best of outcomes and it is equivalent to thinking one is going to become rich and famous as a pop star or professional athlete. 

I am not taking a moral high ground but just in terms of how the overwhelming number of women (or men) are exploited and are in potentially dangerous situations. As well as having an inevitable impact down the road just as the survivor of any kind of abuse is going to have to deal with issues relating to that.

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19 hours ago, Yours Truly said:

You hit the nail on the head... Non physically and with no injury... LOL!

I love this: "Might end up with a unexpected, but PREDICTABLE L". Exactly! Although at this point, and with what CandyAss has already experienced it shouldn't be so unexpected now. 

For me it's this magical place people seem to want to live in which is great and all but to be so stubborn about the reality of other side doesn't make sense. I could even understand that different environments breed different expectations which tracks but CandyASS had her little safe bubble burst last season and yet here we are with her swinging for the fences again. Like, little girl, ain't nothing wrong with taking a step back and reevaluating your method of handling things. For your OWN benefit. Good Grief! 

Point is, people can wax poetic all day and all night but there is such a thing as inviting unnecessary risk into your life and for the life of me I can't understand why CandyASS doesn't exercise a bit more thought in how she chooses to go about her dealings on this show. It's the thick skull that bugs me. Well that and she does seem to have one of the most meanspirited energies among the women. Obviously, they are all catty and have their messy, rude moments and storylines but with CandyASS there's a level of ugly that I just can't stomach. 

 

Thank you, and the level of ugliness and nastiness and tossing 2 pieces of lettuce will eventually get her clocked again.  It just is,  what it is.. Right or wrong , good or bad, there is someone out there that will react this stuff. It's ok to say that just because I run my mouth , you should not put your hands on me, I agree, but that' s just not the way it's going down and I will have to learn to live without my teeth.

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46 minutes ago, byrd said:

Thank you, and the level of ugliness and nastiness and tossing 2 pieces of lettuce will eventually get her clocked again.  It just is,  what it is.. Right or wrong , good or bad, there is someone out there that will react this stuff. It's ok to say that just because I run my mouth , you should not put your hands on me, I agree, but that' s just not the way it's going down and I will have to learn to live without my teeth.

I find it interesting that there is this extreme defense of someone behaving badly. Just because it's wrong to lay hands doesn't mean that CandyAss should have free reign to behave badly. I think what gets lost in the conversation is that it's absolutely acceptable for the ladies to check CandyAss on the EXTREME behavior. It's okay to call her out on the bucking and the aggressiveness in her interactions. It's okay to tell CandyAss that there are some behaviors that are extremely detrimental to the progression of an incident.  As much as I don't like Gizelle her trying to outline to CandyAss some stuff is just too much and that maybe just maybe there's some reflection necessary isn't "victim blaming".  It would probably hit truer if Gizelle wasn't sounding a hypocrite about what is and isn't below the belt and more about the differences in CandyAss's demeanor VS.  the others when blowups go down. That, to me, is really where the issue lies.  

All this, "by that logic" it would have been okay for this one or that one to get THEIR ass beat then. No, those are not equal comparisons. These ladies get down in the dirt at times granted but very rarely is it accompanied by lettuce throwing, hair flicking, butter knife waving, talking about smoke, flexing, bucking, getting in the face of and attempts at squaring up, not to mention needing to be physically held back or restrained. In no way is that comparable to Gizelle's t-shirt, Ashley's messy messes, Mia's condescending delivery, etc. etc. I'm not gonna lie tho, when Gizelle pulled that shit with the t-shirt... boyyyyeeeee my slap hand started to itch on behalf of Karen. For Real! LOL.

 

Edited by Yours Truly
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22 hours ago, Yours Truly said:

I feel like he's doing it more now cause maybe, just maybe he's extra nervous that someone will drag his wife YET AGAIN?? Hmmmmmm. I mean, apparently Candyass proved that she's someone who makes the slap hand happy (right or wrong it is what it is) so maybe Chris is extra jumpy when these arguments escalate and is sorta afraid for Candyass safety? Sometimes it looks like he's trying to get her to no bite off more than she can chew. At least that one theory. 

Yes right you are, Chris knows his wife very well, and she has to be handled before she gets hurt .  If you noticed, Candiace does not listen to him when he's trying to calm the situation, so he ends up dragging her away each time.  

Edited by byrd
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On 11/9/2021 at 3:40 PM, amarante said:

Isabel Wilkerson's masterpiece (The Warmth of Other Suns) chronicling the migration of blacks from the South to the North in the years after WW I

think it's Isabel Wilkerson's more recent book Caste that introduced the term "generational wealth."  At least, that where I remember first running across it.

I'd probably lie about working in a strip club too if I didn't trust my audience to refrain from making judgements.  Mia is new to this group; this group is nasty.  I don't blame her one bit for playing cadgey.

And I don't care if Dorothy supports Candiace.  I throw money at my grown children; it gives me great pleasure.  And if I could afford to throw more, you bet I would. 

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51 minutes ago, Maximona said:

think it's Isabel Wilkerson's more recent book Caste that introduced the term "generational wealth."  At least, that where I remember first running across it.

I'd probably lie about working in a strip club too if I didn't trust my audience to refrain from making judgements.  Mia is new to this group; this group is nastyI don't blame her one bit for playing cadgey.

And I don't care if Dorothy supports Candiace.  I throw money at my grown children; it gives me great pleasure.  And if I could afford to throw more, you bet I would. 

Right!

The part that confuses me is why the need to catch Mia in a lie like were they boyshorts or was it a thong? That's the kind of thing it looks like they are trying to find inconsistencies about and it's so corny. 

Like who cares if here and there she's trying to soften it up a little or shine it up a bit? I mean what she supposed to do recount every seedy detail? She shares the jist and the idea of it all freely.  Do they really need to get her to speak on the particulars in great detail?

The girl done admitted to the stripping. She admitted to meeting her husband there and admitted to him investing in her already established projects afterwards. 

They really need to catch her in a "lie" about what exactly? Hell her truth is enough to clown her if they wanted to but they know she's already taken the sting out of the truth by being unapologetically matter of fact about it and that bugs cause as much as anyone wants to clown her she's already beaten them to the punch.  

She does falter a bit so Imma need her to steel it up some and shorten her explanations a bit more. Elaborating on stuff only gives them more questions to ask. And she needs to resist the urge to present the joint as the Creme' de la Creme' of the Elite of the Esteemed...etc. etc. etc.. LOL! Edit girl, edit... 

Edited by Yours Truly
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17 hours ago, Yours Truly said:

Right!

The part that confuses me is why the need to catch Mia in a lie like were they boyshorts or was it a thong? That's the kind of thing it looks like they are trying to find inconsistencies about and it's so corny. 

Like who cares if here and there she's trying to soften it up a little or shine it up a bit? I mean what she supposed to do recount every seedy detail? She shares the jist and the idea of it all freely.  Do they really need to get her to speak on the particulars in great detail?

The girl done admitted to the stripping. She admitted to meeting her husband there and admitted to him investing in her already established projects afterwards. 

They really need to catch her in a "lie" about what exactly? Hell her truth is enough to clown her if they wanted to but they know she's already taken the sting out of the truth by being unapologetically matter of fact about it and that bugs cause as much as anyone wants to clown her she's already beaten them to the punch.  

She does falter a bit so Imma need her to steel it up some and shorten her explanations a bit more. Elaborating on stuff only gives them more questions to ask. And she needs to resist the urge to present the joint as the Creme' de la Creme' of the Elite of the Esteemed...etc. etc. etc.. LOL! Edit girl, edit... 

I think the issue is that Mia came in strong saying that she keeps it all the way real, but that claim seems superficial.  

It's like she is perfectly honest about having vaginal surgery in a room full of strangers.  

But then she can't remember how old she is or how old her husband is. 

She is honest about meeting her husband while she worked in a strip club, but it took like 10 recitations for her to get to some iteration of what is maybe the truth.  

First she was a bartender and then she just hung out in her ballgown and eventually she admitted to stripping.  

I half expected her to say she was cooking lobsters and steaks in the back and met G because he wanted to compliment her cooking.  

It's a combination of insisting your honest and forthright and then lying about the most bizarre stuff.

Had she just started out with "he is 68 and I met him when I was a stripper" I don't think anyone would have had more than a raised eyebrow.  

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21 hours ago, Yours Truly said:

I find it interesting that there is this extreme defense of someone behaving badly. Just because it's wrong to lay hands doesn't mean that CandyAss should have free reign to behave badly. I think what gets lost in the conversation is that it's absolutely acceptable for the ladies to check CandyAss on the EXTREME behavior. It's okay to call her out on the bucking and the aggressiveness in her interactions. It's okay to tell CandyAss that there are some behaviors that are extremely detrimental to the progression of an incident.  As much as I don't like Gizelle her trying to outline to CandyAss some stuff is just too much and that maybe just maybe there's some reflection necessary isn't "victim blaming".  It would probably hit truer if Gizelle wasn't sounding a hypocrite about what is and isn't below the belt and more about the differences in CandyAss's demeanor VS.  the others when blowups go down. That, to me, is really where the issue lies.  

All this, "by that logic" it would have been okay for this one or that one to get THEIR ass beat then. No, those are not equal comparisons. These ladies get down in the dirt at times granted but very rarely is it accompanied by lettuce throwing, hair flicking, butter knife waving, talking about smoke, flexing, bucking, getting in the face of and attempts at squaring up, not to mention needing to be physically held back or restrained. In no way is that comparable to Gizelle's t-shirt, Ashley's messy messes, Mia's condescending delivery, etc. etc. I'm not gonna lie tho, when Gizelle pulled that shit with the t-shirt... boyyyyeeeee my slap hand started to itch on behalf of Karen. For Real! LOL.

 

In light of @TexasGal post I've responded to this comment about candace in her thread.  

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On 11/8/2021 at 12:30 AM, emmawoodhouse said:

Gizelle ain't going nowhere. She's Andy's pet; why else would someone with no storyline get that prime seating assignment. She's the Kyle of Potomac. Ugh.

I don't know how you don't see it. Gizelle is this show. Many people love to hate her, like i love to love her. She's this entire show and has always been.

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On 11/8/2021 at 7:43 AM, spunky said:

She's horrible.  The man does online cooking classes,  works as a private chef and is a restaurant consultant. She should just say that she doesn't like that her daughter married a Chef and move along. 

To be honest I cannot blame Dorothy. Imagine your 30-something year old eldest daughter, married to a 40-something year old man is still asking you to provide regularly like she's 10.I will definitely wonder what that man do.

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On 11/8/2021 at 12:33 AM, drivethroo said:

RHOP is now Real Housewives of Candiace...whether you love watching her, whether you love hate watching her, you're watching RHOP to see what's going on with Candiace. 

It's a no from me. I admit I liked Candiace last season, but it was actually because she was trying to be less involved in drama. She tried several times to move away from Monique trying to antagonize her, and she has participated in revealing Monique's true colors.

I don't like her this season because she went below the belt with Mia too many times even AFTER she was told about her mother's story. She reacts unproportionally and then is the first one to cry. I fastforwarded most of the times she was on screen this season.

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On 11/8/2021 at 11:29 AM, spunky said:

To quote her daughter "she's an emotionless vampire."

Funny how everyone thinks Gizelle is doing everything for the show, but nobody seems to think the scenes with her children is part of it. She knows you love to hate her, and she's giving you what you want.

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On 11/8/2021 at 12:30 PM, bichonblitz said:

I'm really getting tired of their pile up on Gizelle. Her house, her wardrobe choices, her man choices, Jamal (who isn't a part of this season at all). They are all shady bitches, time to move on to someone else. 

Someone sees it finally. And all this is coming from Karen to be honest. She's pretending to be friend with all the new ladies just to turn them against Gizelle in the end.

Edited by JoSafe
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What Dorothy is doing with Candiace has nothing to do with generational wealth, stop that. You are taking great principles, that sound well to justify your standpoint.

Your parents won't help you genuinely and go on TV making sneaky remarks about you and husband for your shady co-workers and the world to hear.

The same way, you wouldn't accept help from your parents then pretend you did everything on your own. This is generational toxicity, not generational wealth.

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2 hours ago, JoSafe said:

To be honest I cannot blame Dorothy. Imagine your 30-something year old eldest daughter, married to a 40-something year old man is still asking you to provide regularly like she's 10.I will definitely wonder what that man do.

Dorothy used her own fingers and typed a response to a fan saying that she only said those things for the show. Candiace has her hair care line, salons, acts, has an album, has a pagent consulting business and is a real estate investor. Chris has multiple streams of income as well.  So Dorothy  causing drama between her daughter and Chris' family "for the show", is disgusting and inexcusable. 

Edited by spunky
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1 hour ago, JoSafe said:

Someone sees it finally. And all this is coming from Karen to be honest. She's pretending to be friend with all the new ladies just to turn them agains Gizelle in the end.

This is the game gizelle chooses to play with everyone else. 

She is the queen of the gang up and pile on and maybe its good for her to get a sip of her own medicine every reunion. 

I dont think she has a leg to stand on (well, maybe the one that isn't in a boot).  

 

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3 hours ago, RealReality said:

I think the issue is that Mia came in strong saying that she keeps it all the way real, but that claim seems superficial.  

It's like she is perfectly honest about having vaginal surgery in a room full of strangers.  

But then she can't remember how old she is or how old her husband is. 

She is honest about meeting her husband while she worked in a strip club, but it took like 10 recitations for her to get to some iteration of what is maybe the truth.  

First she was a bartender and then she just hung out in her ballgown and eventually she admitted to stripping.  

I half expected her to say she was cooking lobsters and steaks in the back and met G because he wanted to compliment her cooking.  

It's a combination of insisting your honest and forthright and then lying about the most bizarre stuff.

Had she just started out with "he is 68 and I met him when I was a stripper" I don't think anyone would have had more than a raised eyebrow.  

My thing is I don't think it's all that serious to be honest. Yeah, she gets cagey here and there. Whatever. The bulk of the info has been expressed. The particulars and the details ehhhhhh. Whatev. At first she wasn't sure she wanted to be as forthcoming with some of the particulars but decided to spill the beans for the most part as they went on.  The ladies know enough now to know what the deal is with her and that part of her life.  I get the feeling there really isn't anything else significant to dig up about her time at the tittie bar so I hope they don't refer back to that in the future. It's really a non starter at this point and definitely by the time the reunion was filmed so the part where there was a bit of an interrogation and doubtful confused looks seemed pretty silly to me. 

Edited by Yours Truly
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On 11/9/2021 at 3:40 PM, amarante said:

Understood. I am familiar with the actual issues of redlining and defecto segregation. Isabel Wilkerson's masterpiece (The Warmth of Other Suns) chronicling the migration of blacks from the South to the North in the years after WW I brought me to tears in terms of how different the history of our country could have been if not for the evil of racism and how it shaped the northern ghettos.

However I wasn't aware of the specific term until fairly recently. I did a bit of T&E law and perhaps I heard it then but that seemed to be about Rockefeller, Morgan type of generational trusts skipping generations for tax purposes and not "normal" people of any color leaving money to their children when they died. Of course only the wealthiest (of any color) actually have "generational wealth" - i.e. so much assets that the capital would almost certainly not be depleted by several generations of heirs. Even the idiots like Bronfman who made a series of terrible financial decisions couldn't manage to lose it all.

Generational wealth as I've always understood it is wealth acquired a few generations before and handed down to subsequent heirs. Not just a typical inheritance but residential and commercial real estate, dividend-paying stock shares, a successful family business, valuable artwork or jewelry, etc. Possessions that don't need to be sold to generate reliable income and/or increase in value and can be held and passed to the next generation. 

I've read that "generational wealth" even in truly wealthy families usually lasts only three or four generations at the most. So many families fail to plan for it to last, because inflation does happen, or the children and grandchildren, if given too much money with no need to work, often squander what they have or come to an early, bad end. Anderson Cooper's new book about the Vanderbilts illustrates how this happens. Families that manage to pass the wealth far down the line do it by careful investing and planning, often limiting how much each generation can take/sell from the principle. 

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