S11.E17: A Tale of Two Accidents

[Door County Cherry]

Quote

Erika reveals a shocking story about her family; Crystal works on her big ticket basement renovation; Garcelle moves one step closer to finding Mr. Right; Sutton and Erika come face to face; Garcelle has to answer for a provocative comment. 

Airdate 9/15/2021

Please limit your discussion to events that occur in this episode.  Real time events are spoilers and belong in the media or individual housewife threads. 

[eleanorofaquitaine]

I think that the producers must truly hate Erika, to give her that ridiculous tag line. 

[chick binewski]

Dorit trying like hell to pretend people like her parties with her faux Kevin Lee.

[WaltersHair]

Ah, look at Ellie Mae, I mean Dorit, trying so hard to be a glam party thrower.

Sorry, I did an Erika there and must be punished.

Edited September 16, 2021 by WaltersHair

[Andi27]

Dorit: How should I invite people to something during COVID? Send a stranger to their house to speak to them face-to-face!

[eleanorofaquitaine]

I think it is funny that Dorit thinks that no one has ever been to a wedding before. 

[Keywestclubkid]

The things you end up doing when money is no longer a concern in your life. You lay on the ground in front of cameras and roll around and howl like a dog lol 

Edited September 16, 2021 by Keywestclubkid

[RealHousewife]

1 hour ago, eleanorofaquitaine said:

I think it is funny that Dorit thinks that no one has ever been to a wedding before. 

For real, it's Hollywood. Don't they go to weddings like most of us go to movies?

Edited September 16, 2021 by RealHousewife

[chick binewski]

Oh good another person in the service industry who has to travel to other people's homes so these brats can pretend they're not getting old.

Also, Kyle? Erika looks like crap in that ugly AF sweatsuit.

[Straycat80]

Can they permanently  super glue that plastic thing over Rinna’s mouth.

[bosawks]

Ummm, it sounds like Erika is confusing Tom’s life with old episodes of The Rockford Files.

[eleanorofaquitaine]

Maybe no one in Erika's family is able to drive? 

Edited September 16, 2021 by eleanorofaquitaine

[Mr. Miner]

That Phexxi woman lives in her vagina? 🤷🏻‍♂️

[RoseAllDay]

Rinna: “I should be muzzled more often.” You said it, I didn’t.

What the hell kind of story is Erika spinning now? Nobody in that family knows how to drive, apparently. And Tom fought a burglar? All while losing all cognitive ability? 😅

Just now, Mr. Miner said:

That Phexxi woman lives in her vagina? 🤷🏻‍♂️

I HATE THAT COMMERCIAL.

[Keywestclubkid]

What is going on with Erikas face here? 

His car flipped 5 times oh he’s fine! Lol WTF?

[bosawks]

I wonder how much it costs to have Velveeta poured on you?

[eleanorofaquitaine]

Who next in the Erika Expanded Universe will survive a car crash that would kill most people? The dog? Her glam squad?

[RoseAllDay]

The light is dawning on Kyle.

EDIT: Whoops, no it’s not.

Erika has to be trolling here. This is bullshit. 

Edited September 16, 2021 by RoseAllDay

[Straycat80]

Wait….was this burglary and assault reported? Was the car accident reported? Does it even snow in Southern California? Now Tom has glaucoma? So many questions. 

[Shannah Banana]

Why don't you ask Erika the hard questions, Kyle?  Instead of trying to get Sutton to do your dirty work.  FU.

 

[Andi27]

1 minute ago, Keywestclubkid said:

What is going on with Erikas face here? 

His car flipped 5 times oh he’s fine! Lol WTF?

I know nothing about LA/Pasadena, but how 'far out' would her son have to live to be driving through snow (and yet be the closest contact for Tom when he's having a medical emergency)?

[WaltersHair]

Just now, RoseAllDay said:

The light is dawning with Kyle.

It only took two car crashes and a karate fight.

[Mr. Miner]

It was snowing in Pasadena?

He lives further out.

[eleanorofaquitaine]

Garcelle wants a unicorn. 

[chick binewski]

I can't even parse this. Tom was burglarized (no coincidence - I'm sure this has NOTHING to do with the Girardis trying to hide their loot)? Erika gets 3AM phone calls (that she doesn't receive til 6)? The son who lives with them but that subject has conveniently been avoided since we found out that Tom is an addle-brained mean, cheating grifter? Tom lives in the alternate universe Pasadena where it snow all the time and cars roll over pell-mell???

[Chicklet]

"So Tom got attacked by a herd of buffalo but he's fine, after  we put a bandaid over it. And my son was shot into space but then the parachute didn't deploy but I think he's ok too." She's got stories.

[bosawks]

That was the law of diminishing returns on how you pronounce frugal, Crystal. 

[FlyingEgret]

Crystal is frugal (or fugal)? I think I need an updated definition of that word...

[QQQQ]

Did Crystal just say furgal and similar instead of frugal and similator?

 

Geez, PK looked ancient when he entered Kyle's house!! I didn't even recognize him at first.

Edited September 16, 2021 by QQQQ

[Andi27]

There are reports that Tom's house was broken into in the beginning of February (I had to google it). But the police couldn't determine if anything had been taken and there is no mention of Tom being injured or being transported to the hospital because of illness related to the break in. Let alone the cop son rolling his car.

[RealHousewife]

5 minutes ago, Shannah Banana said:

Why don't you ask Erika the hard questions, Kyle?  Instead of trying to get Sutton to do your dirty work.  FU.

 

Seriously. Why is it okay for Kyle to play these games when it was a crime that Vanderpump got others to carry the drama?

[bosawks]

Just now, Andi27 said:

There are reports that Tom's house was broken into in the beginning of February (I had to google it). But the police couldn't determine if anything had been taken and there is no mention of Tom being injured or being transported to the hospital because of illness related to the break in. Let alone the cop son rolling his car.

I mean, I can’t be the only one who thinks it was Erika who broke in, right?

[Chicklet]

Just now, Andi27 said:

There are reports that Tom's house was broken into in the beginning of February (I had to google it). But the police couldn't determine if anything had been taken and there is no mention of Tom being injured or being transported to the hospital because of illness related to the break in. Let alone the cop son rolling his car.

Are you....calling Erika a liar? (gasping).

Hold on, I have to find some pearls.

[Julyolo]

9 minutes ago, chick binewski said:

I can't even parse this. Tom was burglarized (no coincidence - I'm sure this has NOTHING to do with the Girardis trying to hide their loot)? Erika gets 3AM phone calls (that she doesn't receive til 6)? The son who lives with them but that subject has conveniently been avoided since we found out that Tom is an addle-brained mean, cheating grifter? Tom lives in the alternate universe Pasadena where it snow all the time and cars roll over pell-mell???

Maybe she was referring to a different kind of snow. The kind you use a straw to shovel.

Edited September 16, 2021 by Julyolo
Clarification

[RoseAllDay]

3 minutes ago, FlyingEgret said:

Crystal is frugal (or fugal)? I think I need an updated definition of that word...

Nothing says “frugal” like a $95,000 handbag. 🙄 

[RealHousewife]

8 minutes ago, Chicklet said:

"So Tom got attacked by a herd of buffalo but he's fine, after  we put a bandaid over it. And my son was shot into space but then the parachute didn't deploy but I think he's ok too." She's got stories.

Maybe Rinna is feeding her old Days of Our Lives storylines. 

[bosawks]

Dorit’s reactions is the only legitimate one.

”What!”

”WHAT?!?!?!”

[eleanorofaquitaine]

I don't understand the point of these fantastical stories Erika is telling. I guess just to gain sympathy?

[sistermagpie]

LOL! I love how Erika has this savant-like ability to always know exactly how many times a car flipped in an accident she heard about later.

[Shannah Banana]

Maybe Erika is one of those people that lie when the truth sounds better?

[Andi27]

How high is Mauricio?

[Straycat80]

Kyle: of course it’s true, Erika said. Oy! 

[Mr. Miner]

How fast do you drive in the snow to flip six times?

[eleanorofaquitaine]

I hate that Erika's fables are making me like PK. 

[chick binewski]

This season will be saved if we discover Tom is Toonces.

[RealHousewife]

Just now, eleanorofaquitaine said:

I don't understand the point of these fantastical stories Erika is telling. I guess just to gain sympathy?

Maybe she realized she wouldn't get any sympathy living in her beautiful home and driving her really nice car?

[Keywestclubkid]

Wait he was supposed to have brain surgery? 

[Chicklet]

Just now, chick binewski said:

This season will be saved if we discover Tom is Toonces.

Ok this shit week has been saved. This is the second Toonces reference I have read.

[Julyolo]

Not to stereotype those who have stripped for a living, but some of them don't have a very huge relationship with the truth.

[sistermagpie]

I wonder if the money for that young man's skin grafts went to pay for Tom's eye surgery?