S13.E07: Home, Not Alone

[Gator Stud]

On 9/2/2021 at 8:02 PM, Yeah No said:

No but it's a big part of why people shower!  Plus look at Bao, she looks clean all the time.  Even her hair.  So I think he's making a much bigger deal out if it than necessary.  She was responding to his over-rigidity with a "what if" situation that would probably not happen that often.  She said something like "What if I was dead tired and didn't feel up to it?"  She didn't mean she would do that all the time.  I don't blame her for reacting that way.  He's got to learn to be more flexible, and that's why she asked that question, because she knows he's being too rigid.  Is he going to be like Sheldon Cooper and put her on a bathroom schedule?  I'd tell him to GTFO.

I cant understand this either. Bao looks like the cleanest person on the whole series. But she doesnt like showering??

[StatisticalOutlier]

7 hours ago, LennieBriscoe said:

But of all the arguments raised, I haven't read "Charity." Caritas. The Beatitudes. The Widow's Mite. Where does Myrla stand? Her stock might rise if she said, "Yes, but for every Louboutin I buy, I donate that amount to [insert your favorite charity here]." 

I think, as I write, that that might be at the heart of Gil's concern, for he has made a career of helping others.

And yet when they briefly waded into politics, it was Gil who said he votes based on who will help him financially, while Myrla said she votes based on who will help other people.

[LuvMyShows]

On 9/4/2021 at 2:19 PM, pdlinda said:

It surprises me that a woman of her age and professional standing wouldn't have sought out professional mental health counselling instead of going on a TV reality show and basically either "melting down" or "acting out" to her own  (and Zach's) detriment. 

21 hours ago, princelina said:

If she embraces being "hurricane Michaela" then she probably doesn't think it's a problem.

I also think that she generally thinks she is justified in her anger because of the wrong that whoever it is did to her, so therefore she would not see her behavior as a problem.

11 hours ago, Blissfool said:

While they were brushing their teeth, Johnny told her, "I also brush the roof of my mouth."

I think he was suggesting she do that too and was probably surprised when she said, "I do too."

So this, combined with her actually having a bidet attachment like he did, makes me question why he is still so hung up on her perceived uncleanliness.  Plus, true confessions time, both my husband and I have definitely had times when a day would go where one of us didn't shower, and there was no smell problem. 

9 hours ago, LennieBriscoe said:

Her stock might rise if she said, "Yes, but for every Louboutin I buy, I donate that amount to [insert your favorite charity here]." 

I think, as I write, that that might be at the heart of Gil's concern, for he has made a career of helping others. 

Except with Myrla, it was the opposite, and the story was shared during the wedding vows about how she wore designer clothes to a clothing drive drop-off (or maybe it was even to an actual women's shelter).  While that's not a sin, it also seems a bit rub-their-noses-in-it. 

11 hours ago, Boo Boo said:

Am I the only one here that thinks it's perfectly acceptable for the husband/wives not to kiss, hold hands, or do anything intimate with their spouse?  Choosing to be on this show doesn't mean you should forced to be intimate -- even if that means a kiss.  If a woman goes on a blind date, she's not required to do anything even remotely sexual.   The same applies here.  These people -- with the exception of Bao and Johnny -- are strangers.  They can kiss, slurp, fuck, whenever they are ready for it.  

But she's not on a blind date, she's married, and physical intimacy is kind of the hallmark of the difference between friendship and a romantic relationship.  The problem is that there is no "they" being ready for it...it's when she is ready for it.  And while I am wholeheartedly behind taking one's time before having sex, she isn't even on a glide path to getting there, and doesn't seem to be considering Gil's needs or point of view.  There is 100% an expectation of sexual intimacy in marriage; even the Bible is clear about that, and she appears to be religious.  She had said that she wouldn't kiss someone on the third date.  So how many dates would it take before she kissed someone?  Being married, especially with the amount of time they spent together on the honeymoon, is the equivalent of lots and lots of dates!

[princelina]

23 hours ago, pdlinda said:

I'm trying to wrap my brain around Bao returning to her elevated, erudite work environment immersed in the highest intellectual endeavors while having her entire team of co-workers, patients and other staff being confronted by such PERSONAL info about her!!  WHY would Bao subject herself to such scrutiny when it's obvious how much her status and professional reputation mean to her?  

As a former middle school teacher (who was single until age 39)- this is what I think about for all of the teachers/educators who turn up on this show!  Not necessarily Myrla, because she works with the adults now, but the others.

13 hours ago, Boo Boo said:

Am I the only one here that thinks it's perfectly acceptable for the husband/wives not to kiss, hold hands, or do anything intimate with their spouse?  Choosing to be on this show doesn't mean you should forced to be intimate -- even if that means a kiss.  If a woman goes on a blind date, she's not required to do anything even remotely sexual.   The same applies here.  These people -- with the exception of Bao and Johnny -- are strangers.  They can kiss, slurp, fuck, whenever they are ready for it.  

IMO this is more than a blind date and they should be open to small kisses, holding hands and things like that.  I think it's perfectly fine to not have sex if they're not sure they'll stay married, or even if they want to wait until the cameras are out of their lives, but they agreed to the "experiment" and part of that is at least trying a little bit of physical intimacy.  I think they should certainly kiss  at the wedding - everyone expects it and then it doesn't become a huge deal - if they find it disgusting they can back off and use the wedding excuse, or on the other hand if they weren't sure about the other it's a chance to see if they like it 😁

[LennieBriscoe]

This is Myrla seeing Hype kiss Gil:

content://com.amazon.cloud9.FileProvider/images/screenshot/16308988604041026948181.gif

Edited September 6, 2021 by LennieBriscoe

[buttersister]

Quote

Except with Myrla, it was the opposite, and the story was shared during the wedding vows about how she wore designer clothes to a clothing drive drop-off (or maybe it was even to an actual women's shelter).  While that's not a sin, it also seems a bit rub-their-noses-in-it. 

Maybe she looks at it as "coming attractions"?😂

But donate she does. And votes for those who care about people instead of how it financially benefits himself. It's the attitude that stinks. But living in just an okay place but with great designer stuff in the closet? Hi, Carrie Bradshaw. 

ETA: Hey, Myrla, check out the consignment stores in Paris, when you're able. All the Chanel and other French designers you want. And check out Stock Sonia Rykiel, 64 rue d’Alésia, 14e. And 110-112, down the block, has her really good stuff. De rein.  

Edited September 6, 2021 by buttersister
Good samaritan.

[Empress1]

5 hours ago, Gator Stud said:

But I am on team Johnny with the bathing.  If you work out, you better take a shower. 

I work out daily and I cannot imagine not showering after - I sweat too much for that to even be a consideration. Maybe if I’ve just done some light yoga, I don’t need a shower, but for every other workout I do, a shower is a must afterward. I can’t remember if Bao said she didn’t shower after exercising.

[Yeah No]

40 minutes ago, Empress1 said:

I work out daily and I cannot imagine not showering after - I sweat too much for that to even be a consideration. Maybe if I’ve just done some light yoga, I don’t need a shower, but for every other workout I do, a shower is a must afterward. I can’t remember if Bao said she didn’t shower after exercising.

I don't remember her saying that.  I think she was engaging in worst-case-scenario anxiety talk.  She said, "What if I came home and was dead tired and didn't feel like showering?" as if she is afraid that he would be hard on here if ONE TIME she came home and didn't feel up to doing it.  She is clearly worried about his rigidity, not saying that on a regular basis she would not shower after exercising.

Then she talked about how when depressed she sometimes didn't feel up to showering.  I got the impression that too was worst-case-scenario unless she is depressed all the time and preparing him for the worst, which I doubt is the case.  She is just catastrophizing and making Mt. Everest out of a speck of dust because his rigidity is making her think he won't accept her even in the rare case that she might not live up to his impossible standards.  Unfortunately she's probably right about that.

[cardigirl]

On 9/4/2021 at 2:07 PM, rlc said:

Yeesh, can everyone quit with the Myrla shopping judgment? You don’t need to like her, or marry her, but unless she’s spending YOUR money, it is not any of your damn business how many pairs of shoes she buys or what said shoes cost. Gil is not a better person than Myrla because he is cheap/frugal. She is not a bad person because she doesn’t want a dog. She shouldn’t have been paired with someone who has a dog since she doesn’t like dogs.

For the record, I don’t like Myrla, but I don’t really like any of these people. There are enough reasons without judging their shopping habits.

Thanks for this. 

On 9/4/2021 at 4:42 PM, Boo Boo said:

If I was set up with a guy who lived in what looked like a shoebox and not a nice one, but had a closet full of pairs of $900+ shoes, designer clothing,  and extravagant spending habits, I'd be questioning his priorities and how much of an impulsive shopper he is and whether our lifestyles would match.   

Well, one of the favorites from New Orleans, Woody, lived with his grandmother, and spent lots of money on clothes. (Wall of hats)  I think shopping was a particular hobby of his, but the show didn't emphasize it as a problem for his bride, so I guess it's all in how something is going to be edited. 

Edited September 6, 2021 by cardigirl

[Boo Boo]

21 minutes ago, cardigirl said:

Thanks for this. 

Well, one of the favorites from New Orleans, Woody, lived with his grandmother, and spent lots of money on clothes. (Wall of hats)  I think shopping was a particular hobby of his, but the show didn't emphasized it as a problem for his bride, so I guess it's all in how something is going to be edited. 

LOL, I do remember that!  And his bride was not thrilled with the living at grandma sitch.  And wondered about the hat collection!

 

[Gator Stud]

On 9/2/2021 at 10:23 PM, CSunshine76 said:

I just started watching, but have to comment.

Myrla, girl. Why do you have empty bottles of Vueve in your kitchen counter? So you drink nice champagne…big deal. I do too, but I don’t feel the need to save the bottles as “proof”. And then your canvas pics of yourself in the bathroom, and your expensive shoe collection.  Is there anything beyond the surface there? Doesn’t seem so.

My guess is she is in debt up to her ass, living a life she absolutely cannot afford. Not impressed.

This is what some poor people do when they finally get some $$$.  Her tiny apartment doesnt justify her expenses. In LA you see this, but here tiny apartments could rent at $6K/month and decent houses are $4M, so it makes more sense.  But in Houston you could buy a house at $180K so having $70K of clothes in a tiny apartment makes no sense.  

[cardigirl]

36 minutes ago, Gator Stud said:

This is what some poor people do when they finally get some $$$.  Her tiny apartment doesnt justify her expenses. In LA you see this, but here tiny apartments could rent at $6K/month and decent houses are $4M, so it makes more sense.  But in Houston you could buy a house at $180K so having $70K of clothes in a tiny apartment makes no sense.  

 She earned the money and she gets to spend it how she wants. She's not asking Gil to give her more money. If she wants to live in a small apartment for whatever reason, she can. I don't think justification comes into it. 

Edited September 6, 2021 by cardigirl

[Gator Stud]

On 9/3/2021 at 5:49 AM, Starlight925 said:

Re:  Deer Head.  I don't know if Brett is Vegan, and if she is, then strike everything I'm about to say, because this wouldn't imply to true vegans.  But if she does eat meat, and I think she does, then Ryan's killing of that deer is no different, as yes, he probably does eat & share the venison.  I get it, shooting Bambi & all, but there's no difference to eating a chicken, a cow, a lamb, or a fish.  I also get not wanting to stare at that deer head all day/night.  Ick, I can't stand to look at deer heads.  Ryan said he'd put it in another room, so, problem solved.

I, too, froze Jose's white board.  If all he has saved is $81K, that's not much for his age, sorry.  It can't be $81K/month, or even $8K/month.  I found it not only confusing, but kind of stupid.  Smart guy like Jose would have an Excel spreadsheet, with like, other sheets, & macros & stuff.  Not just "City of Pearland" scribbled in black marker like when he was in 3rd grade.

 

I totally agree with this. Boa has a spreadsheet with her outfits.  She should teach Jose some things.  Also, $80K is not that much to have saved, but at least he has saved something.  I'll give him that.  They should have paired him with Myrla.

[Gator Stud]

On 9/3/2021 at 10:50 AM, Lindz said:

Yup. They played us. Mr. "Boxes checked" played us, unless Rachael just pointed out he already thinks she's perfect (therefore, has those boxes checked), so they might as well. Then the show played us with the previews, showing them talking about their concerns as if they hadn't done it already. Ugh. I'm guessing they got it in the last night of the honeymoon.

Or they are lying. Maybe Rachael decided to let it go, and they made an agreement. 

[Gator Stud]

On 9/3/2021 at 4:24 PM, TzuShih said:

Exactly!  That's just what I wanted to get across with Myrla and her obsession with "brands." 🤑  The older I get, the more "fun" I have with putting quirky clothing (vintage, resale, etal) together. 

I wish Myrla would check out the below coupla video series that I get such a kick out of watching.:

Street Fashion Interview in New York – SoHo Vol.5 I Spring 2021 :

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wghJDy-iXk8

AND

WHAT EVERY ONE IS WEARING IN NEW YORK | SUMMER TRENDS 2021

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j91EnxR0Rqc

(Living in NYC, I suppose that even as an "aging baby boomer" 😜 I can get away more easily with fun 'n funky fashions without startling neighbors 😱 , but I'd love to get ahold of Myrla and take her down to Soho/Boho to shop!!!  There's fun to be had 'beyond the Brands!') 

I lived in Houston, and now I live in LA. They dont let you wear funky stuff in Houston if you work for corporate America.  In LA, I've gone to work in camos and a torn t-shirt. And a nosering. Nobody cares.  You dress like you are homeless and nobody would care.  In Houston, you better be wearing a button down or polos, and khakis. Maybe loose jeans. On Unfiltered they were not dressing like they lived in Houston.

[Gator Stud]

On 9/4/2021 at 9:36 AM, Crashcourse said:

Yes, bantering is sexy--that is, until someone strikes a nerve.  Some people can take it too far, and in this case I think it's Gil.  I don't even like Myrla but I'm getting tired of him referring to her as "princess."  I have a feeling that if I knew him he would get on my nerves pretty quickly. 

Plus, I'm not a fan of bald heads, just to be bald.  It's one thing if a man is losing his hair (he can't help that) and that's fine, just have a nice haircut.  

I remember the looks on her sisters' faces, like "Zach, you're in trouble!"

I know in Corporate America I know Black men are told to either be bald or have a Marine cut in order to fit into making Whites comfortable. So most bald Blacks men who are not balding do this so they can have a good job and fit into a ridiculous cultural standard.  Black women go bald with weaves trying to fit this standard. Gil might be forced to look bald because he does not have straight hair.  I was bald for over a decade in Corporate America until COVID, and I thought I was balding.  But then my barber got closed down last year, and now I be like this.

 

[Crashcourse]

2 minutes ago, Gator Stud said:

I know in Corporate America I know Black men are told to either be bald or have a Marine cut in order to fit into making Whites comfortable. So most bald Blacks men who are not balding do this so they can have a good job and fit into a ridiculous cultural standard.  Black women go bald with weaves trying to fit this standard. Gil might be forced to look bald because he does not have straight hair.  I was bald for over a decade in Corporate America until COVID, and I thought I was balding.  But then my barber got closed down last year, and now I be like this.

 

That's interesting about Black men feeling the need to be bald in corporate America.  I'm retired now so I'd never seen the bald heads, unless the men were naturally bald.   

[cardigirl]

38 minutes ago, Gator Stud said:

I know in Corporate America I know Black men are told to either be bald or have a Marine cut in order to fit into making Whites comfortable. So most bald Blacks men who are not balding do this so they can have a good job and fit into a ridiculous cultural standard.  Black women go bald with weaves trying to fit this standard. Gil might be forced to look bald because he does not have straight hair.  I was bald for over a decade in Corporate America until COVID, and I thought I was balding.  But then my barber got closed down last year, and now I be like this.

 

I don't find that to be true in my corporation, but maybe the financial services industry is different. 

[Boo Boo]

43 minutes ago, Gator Stud said:

I know in Corporate America I know Black men are told to either be bald or have a Marine cut in order to fit into making Whites comfortable. So most bald Blacks men who are not balding do this so they can have a good job and fit into a ridiculous cultural standard.  Black women go bald with weaves trying to fit this standard. Gil might be forced to look bald because he does not have straight hair.  I was bald for over a decade in Corporate America until COVID, and I thought I was balding.  But then my barber got closed down last year, and now I be like this.

 

I had no idea!  And if that's you in the above pic, your hair is awesome and your handle fits!  You loo great!

[Boo Boo]

1 hour ago, cardigirl said:

 She earned the money and she gets to spend it how she wants. She's not asking Gil to give her more money. If she wants to live in a small apartment for whatever reason, she can. I don't think justification comes into it. 

True. 

That said, I feel pretty confident that if Gil spends his disposable income on expensive dog-related items and other things he wants, but does not upgrade her engagement ring,  Myrla will have something to say about how he spends his money.

[Gator Stud]

On 9/5/2021 at 7:03 AM, Yeah No said:

I don't know, I might take seeing a guy with a lot of expensive things as evidence that he has money, which is not a bad thing.  How he chooses to spend his single income is not necessarily how he's going to spend it once married with a family.  My husband owned expensive things before marriage too but didn't continue to buy most of those things after marriage.  Of course we discussed these things.  Myrla acts like she's digging her heels in about her spending but I think it's a defensive reaction to the judgmental way Gil is approaching her.  I kind of doubt that she would forego spending money fixing up her house with her husband or saving money to start a family for more Louboutins in a marriage.

Also, people ragged on Haley last season but she didn't judge Jake for all the money he spent on frivolous '80s collectibles and expensive techno. equipment.  She thought it was a little OTT but not based on the financial aspect, just that it was not her thing.  Imagine how people would have flayed her if she acted like Gil acts toward Myrla about her spending.

It could be a priorities thing.  Or because her life is so focused outside her residence she doesn't make that her priority.  Which doesn't mean her home and other things wouldn't become the priority when married.  

Sorry this does not make sense.  In NYC and LA it totally makes sense (apartments across the street for me are going for $18K/month for rent), but not Houston. I know people in SF that make $250K, but have roommates. Because rent is so expensive.  They have designer stuff, but a nice house cost at least $3M.  In Houston, for a $70K down payment, you can get a nice house with a pool. So if she has $70K worth of stuff instead of a house, her priorities are all wrong. Most people in Houston normally dont do what she does. 

[Gator Stud]

21 hours ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

And yet when they briefly waded into politics, it was Gil who said he votes based on who will help him financially, while Myrla said she votes based on who will help other people.

I never understood this thing about giving politicians credit when you are doing well financially.  Did they fucking do your job for you?  Why do we have to give them any credit? Does Bill Gates give credit to politicians for why he is successful? I dont thing so.

[cardigirl]

44 minutes ago, Gator Stud said:

Sorry this does not make sense.  In NYC and LA it totally makes sense (apartments across the street for me are going for $18K/month for rent), but not Houston. I know people in SF that make $250K, but have roommates. Because rent is so expensive.  They have designer stuff, but a nice house cost at least $3M.  In Houston, for a $70K down payment, you can get a nice house with a pool. So if she has $70K worth of stuff instead of a house, her priorities are all wrong. Most people in Houston normally dont do what she does. 

In YOUR opinion.

I think someone else on this thread mentioned reasons for renting over owning before. Yes, the Houston market may be cheaper, and therefore it's easier to own a house, but some people may not want to own real estate. It may also be more difficult to grow equity in a cheaper market, plus, once you own, then all the repairs and upkeep become your responsibility, and a lot of single people do not want to deal with that. Condos require condo fees on top of mortgages to take care of all of the "upkeep" expenses and aren't necessarily a better way to own to avoid the hassle of home ownership. 

Traditionally, to grow wealth, owning property has been seen as the major way for many people to do it, but it is not the only way, and many single people may prefer not to tie up their funds in a home. Especially if she plans on moving within five years or less. 

[Gator Stud]

1 hour ago, cardigirl said:

I don't find that to be true in my corporation, but maybe the financial services industry is different. 

I thought everybody knew this. Maybe it was a Houston/Florida thing. Why do you think so many young Black men were bald pre-COVID but have their hair post COVID?  Gil might not be naturally bald, but firehouses are conservative and maybe he needs to fit in. In CA, its illegal to ask someone to not have natural hair.  Similarly, I think his answer about voting based on what the benefits were going to be for him and saying politics is unimportant was a canned answer that would make him fit into the firehouse. I guess I know Houston really well. I worked with people exactly like Ryan.  The had a ranch and hunted too. 

[Gator Stud]

12 minutes ago, cardigirl said:

In YOUR opinion.

I think someone else on this thread mentioned reasons for renting over owning before. Yes, the Houston market may be cheaper, and therefore it's easier to own a house, but some people may not want to own real estate. It may also be more difficult to grow equity in a cheaper market, plus, once you own, then all the repairs and upkeep become your responsibility, and a lot of single people do not want to deal with that. Condos require condo fees on top of mortgages to take care of all of the "upkeep" expenses and aren't necessarily a better way to own to avoid the hassle of home ownership. 

Traditionally, to grow wealth, owning property has been seen as the major way for many people to do it, but it is not the only way, and many single people may prefer not to tie up their funds in a home. Especially if she plans on moving within five years or less. 

Anything is possible.  I'm just giving my opinion, like all of us.  Myrla is overspending.  She could have a way nicer apartment if she spent a little less. Or even a nice house. But she wants to show people her labels instead. I get it.

[princelina]

10 minutes ago, Gator Stud said:

Anything is possible.  I'm just giving my opinion, like all of us.  Myrla is overspending.  She could have a way nicer apartment if she spent a little less. Or even a nice house. But she wants to show people her labels instead. I get it.

I've known people who were "house poor" - big fancy house; practically no furniture.  Myrla likes to be designer-label poor.  😄

[cardigirl]

32 minutes ago, Gator Stud said:

Anything is possible.  I'm just giving my opinion, like all of us.  Myrla is overspending.  She could have a way nicer apartment if she spent a little less. Or even a nice house. But she wants to show people her labels instead. I get it.

Well, you're putting your spin on her reasons for living as she does, when you really don't know why she chooses what she chooses. In your mind, it's crazy not to buy a nice big house and have a pool, but that's not what she wants. So she must be not smart for not thinking the same way as you do.  I'm not sure I agree with that line of logic. 😉 I'm saying she has the right to buy a few red-bottomed shoes if she wants and not be shamed for doing so. I guess we have different ways of looking at it. I think she's living life as she wants.

 

 

Edited September 6, 2021 by cardigirl

[Gator Stud]

13 minutes ago, cardigirl said:

Well, you're putting your spin on her reasons for living as she does, when you really don't know why she chooses what she chooses. In your mind, it's crazy not to buy a nice big house and have a pool, but that's not what she wants. So she must be not smart for not thinking the same way as you do.  I'm not sure I agree with that line of logic. 😉 I'm saying she has the right to buy a few red-bottomed shoes if she wants and not be shamed for doing so. 

 

 

I didnt say she was crazy or not smart.  I actually think she has intelligence base on her banter with Gil. A FEW shoes.  Thats not what I saw. FTR, I have nothing against designer shoes.  I have a pair of Loubis myself.  And and a few pairs of Dolce's.  And a pair of Balenciagas. All sneakers. So I get why she likes nice shoes.  But If she has over $50K in her closet, she could have had a house instead. She could be a shopoholic.  Thats a legit addiction. 

[cardigirl]

12 minutes ago, Gator Stud said:

I didnt say she was crazy or not smart.  I actually think she has intelligence base on her banter with Gil. A FEW shoes.  Thats not what I saw. FTR, I have nothing against designer shoes.  I have a pair of Loubis myself.  And and a few pairs of Dolce's.  And a pair of Balenciagas. All sneakers. So I get why she likes nice shoes.  But If she has over $50K in her closet, she could have had a house instead. She could be a shopoholic.  Thats a legit addiction. 

Okay, just that her spending doesn't make sense? 

1 hour ago, Gator Stud said:

Sorry this does not make sense.  In NYC and LA it totally makes sense (apartments across the street for me are going for $18K/month for rent), but not Houston. I know people in SF that make $250K, but have roommates. Because rent is so expensive.  They have designer stuff, but a nice house cost at least $3M.  In Houston, for a $70K down payment, you can get a nice house with a pool. So if she has $70K worth of stuff instead of a house, her priorities are all wrong. Most people in Houston normally dont do what she does. 

I get ya. She's not doing things your way.  

I don't really think she's out of line with what she's doing. This is what she's decided she likes.  It's up to the couple to figure out how they're going to navigate each other's differences.

By the way, Jose is kind of doing the same thing with Rachel by telling her she doesn't need so much stuff in her life and she doesn't need to take trips. I don't think that's going over real well either. Even though I think she may have asked for some help in budgeting, I think she may be regretting that now. 

 

Edited September 6, 2021 by cardigirl

[Yeah No]

3 hours ago, Gator Stud said:

I totally agree with this. Boa has a spreadsheet with her outfits.  She should teach Jose some things.  Also, $80K is not that much to have saved, but at least he has saved something.  I'll give him that.  They should have paired him with Myrla.

I don't think $80K is not much at his age, especially in Houston.  If it's in investments and he only saves $5,000 a year for the next 30 years he'll conservatively have $800,000 at a 5% rate of return.  I am assuming that he'll save more than $5,000 a year and that his rate of return will likely average out higher.  So I really don't think he's doing so bad.

[Yeah No]

2 hours ago, Gator Stud said:

Sorry this does not make sense.  In NYC and LA it totally makes sense (apartments across the street for me are going for $18K/month for rent), but not Houston. I know people in SF that make $250K, but have roommates. Because rent is so expensive.  They have designer stuff, but a nice house cost at least $3M.  In Houston, for a $70K down payment, you can get a nice house with a pool. So if she has $70K worth of stuff instead of a house, her priorities are all wrong. Most people in Houston normally dont do what she does. 

Maybe it doesn't make sense to you, but I have friends in Manhattan that choose to live in small, unremarkable apartments even though they can afford better because that's not where their priorities lie.  I don't think it's fair to judge Myrla's priorities.  One good friend of mine decided to give into the pressure to go upscale.  She sublet her tiny studio apartment and bought a nicer condo. but then realized she didn't really want it because she like many Manhattanites lived a fast paced single lifestyle and was rarely at home.  So for her, owning the nicer condo. didn't make sense.  She ended up selling it and moving back into her studio.  It wasn't even a matter of money for her because she could well afford the condo.  It just didn't make sense for her because home wasn't her priority.  I can no more judge that than I would want her judging me for making home my priority. 

BTW, she eventually got married late in life and now lives in a nice private house in Tennessee with her husband, which is where he's from.  She had the ultimate "Sex and the City" single lifestyle but when she got married her priorities changed.

I think Myrla will likely follow this pattern if and when she meets the right guy.

Edited September 6, 2021 by Yeah No

[Gator Stud]

2 minutes ago, cardigirl said:

Okay, just that her spending doesn't make sense? 

I get ya. She's not doing things your way.  

I don't really think she's out of line with what she's doing. This is what she's decided she likes.  It's up to the couple to figure out how they're going to navigate each other's differences.

By the way, Jose is kind of doing the same thing with Rachel by telling her she doesn't need so much stuff in her life and she doesn't need to take trips. I don't think that's going over real well either. Even though I think she may have asked for some help in budgeting, she may be regretting that.  

The approach need tos 

I dont have any particular way.  I used to be like Jose and take save my Starbucks cups to get a refill the next day for $.50 and stop and pick up change at the tolls so I didnt have to pay. Then after my divorce I took a different tact. More like Johnny. Covid has taught us that you never know when you are going to die. So maybe Myrla has the right approach. I used to work 70-90 hrs a week in Houston.  It almost killed me and I realized money is not the most important thing.  Maybe Myrla thinks this way.

I dont get Jose.  He says he had sex, but I still dont believe him.  He didnt exactly sound convincing.  But at least people will stop asking them the question. Bao seems very clean, so I dont understand why she doesnt like to shower. I think it is possible that Myrla and Gil are lying to us about not kissing or having sex. Johnny says he wants to have sex with Bao but constantly calls her a child. I think Gil will quit the fire department and make way more money. Myrla should think about that and ask him if he is REALLY bald. Sometimes Ryan looks like he is "Repulsed and Dead Inside". Hasnt anybody told Brett that she needs to wear a bra.  She is losing me fast. Michaela be nuts. Zack needs to run pronto. But I think we are gonna need to see some phone records to know what's what. Johnny and Jose embracing.  What to say about that.  I HOPE that production is not giving him the "gay edit".  That would be totally wrong. But Johnny did disappear on the first night back in Houston, so you never know. Maybe he has already moved on from Bao and hooked up with a girl for a one night stand. 

[Gator Stud]

3 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

Maybe it doesn't make sense to you, but I have friends in Manhattan that choose to live in small, unremarkable apartments even though they can afford better because that's not where their priorities lie.  I don't think it's fair to judge Myrla's priorities.  One good friend of mine decided to give into the pressure to go upscale.  She sublet her tiny studio apartment and bought a nicer condo. but then realized she didn't really want it because she like many Manhattanites lived a fast paced single lifestyle and was rarely at home.  So for her, owning the nicer condo. didn't make sense.  She ended up selling it and moving back into her studio.  It wasn't even a matter of money for her because she could well afford the condo.  It just didn't make sense for her because home wasn't her priority.  I can no more judge that than I would want her judging me for making home my priority. 

BTW, she eventually got married late in life and now lives in a nice private house in Tennessee with her husband, which is where he's from.  She had the ultimate "Sex and the City" single lifestyle but when she got married her priorities changed.

I think Myrla will likely follow this pattern if and when she meets the right guy.

Yeah, thats like Manhattan.  Its like that here in LA.  My cousin lived in UWS in a tiny apartment, but he went out every day.  But in Houston tiny apartments are like $600/month.  I am not saying this is the best house, but she could be living here:

https://www.trulia.com/p/tx/houston/14303-reissen-ln-houston-tx-77069--1004947951

[Yeah No]

2 minutes ago, Gator Stud said:

Bao seems very clean, so I dont understand why she doesnt like to shower. 

Bao never said she didn't like to shower or at least I have never heard her say that and I watched that segment with her and Johnny more than once.  I have posted on this several times.  See my post above in this thread.  She was only reacting to Johnny's OTT obsession with cleanliness by catastrophizing and engaging in "what if" worst case scenario questions.  Such as "What if ONE DAY I come home too tired to shower and just want to go to bed?"  Or "What if I get depressed and don't feel up to it now and then?  I was once depressed and didn't always shower every day."  I'm assuming she doesn't get THAT depressed that often, or maybe if she does that's another issue, but my sense is that she was in effect asking him if he was so rigid that he wouldn't even accept the rare cases when she didn't do it.  And his unsympathetic response made it look like he WAS in fact that rigid!!

1 minute ago, Gator Stud said:

Yeah, thats like Manhattan.  Its like that here in LA.  My cousin lived in UWS in a tiny apartment, but he went out every day.  But in Houston tiny apartments are like $600/month.  I am not saying this is the best house, but she could be living here:

https://www.trulia.com/p/tx/houston/14303-reissen-ln-houston-tx-77069--1004947951

Don't forget that the salaries in Houston are also lower so what sounds like an absolute bargain to a NYer or LA-er is not that much of a bargain there.  But as I said in my post, it's not about the price with Myrla.  It's about her priorities.  She's living her single lifestyle right now and that does not include putting a priority on her residence.  She chooses to channel her money differently.  And that's fine, it's not my life and not my priorities.

[Yeah No]

3 hours ago, Gator Stud said:

I know in Corporate America I know Black men are told to either be bald or have a Marine cut in order to fit into making Whites comfortable. So most bald Blacks men who are not balding do this so they can have a good job and fit into a ridiculous cultural standard.  Black women go bald with weaves trying to fit this standard. Gil might be forced to look bald because he does not have straight hair. 

I seriously doubt any of this is the case for Gil.  He is a firefighter and depending on the rules of the department all firefighters can be required or strongly encouraged to have short hair and definitely no beards.  Again it depends on the specific department.  So I see no forcing Gil into any cultural standard going on here.

And BTW, in the Fortune 100 companies I worked for I saw people of color wearing every kind of hairstyle which definitely was not being done to fit in with whites.  This was in NY and CT, though, not in the South so I am sure it might be a regional thing.

[Gator Stud]

6 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

Bao never said she didn't like to shower or at least I have never heard her say that and I watched that segment with her and Johnny more than once.  I have posted on this several times.  See my post above in this thread.  She was only reacting to Johnny's OTT obsession with cleanliness by catastrophizing and engaging in "what if" worst case scenario questions.  Such as "What if ONE DAY I come home too tired to shower and just want to go to bed?"  Or "What if I get depressed and don't feel up to it now and then?  I was once depressed and didn't always shower every day."  I'm assuming she doesn't get THAT depressed that often, or maybe if she does that's another issue, but my sense is that she was in effect asking him if he was so rigid that he wouldn't even accept the rare cases when she didn't do it.  And his unsympathetic response made it look like he WAS in fact that rigid!!

Don't forget that the salaries in Houston are also lower so what sounds like an absolute bargain to a NYer or LA-er is not that much of a bargain there.  But as I said in my post, it's not about the price with Myrla.  It's about her priorities.  She's living her single lifestyle right now and that does not include putting a priority on her residence.  She chooses to channel her money differently.  And that's fine, it's not my life and not my priorities.

I read somewhere that she makes like $100K, $75K after taxes. $6250/month.  If she is paying $1000 for a tiny apartment, she could save $3K/month after other expenses. In 3 years she could put a down payment on a $600K house. But I also read about how millennials are not into buying houses and rather have short term commitments. When you see someone who always dressed in designer stuff and acting haughty like Myrla, you expect that they at least they own a house or have a kick ass apartment. Not in LA or Manhattan, but definitely in Houston.

[Chatty Cake]

Johnny may like the idea of being married but I don’t think he can deal with the reality of marriage. Bao didn’t say she constantly misses showers. She just doesn’t want to take multiple showers a day. She seemed proud of her bidet. 

Myrla also doesn’t want the reality of  a marriage. She wants everything to be the same as when she was single just with a partner and that’s not usually how it happens. Gil goes on a little much about her shopping. IMO, what he should be upset about is her dislike of dogs. Complaining as soon as she walks in that his place smells like dog. If they had a lot of passion and seemed to care for each other, they could work on it. She seems to feel nothing for him. I’d tell her to stay in her shitty apartment with her Louis Vuitton and her trash of empty champagne bottles. 

 

[Gator Stud]

3 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

I seriously doubt any of this is the case for Gil.  He is a firefighter and depending on the rules of the department all firefighters can be required or strongly encouraged to have short hair and definitely no beards.  Again it depends on the specific department.  So I see no forcing Gil into any cultural standard going on here.

And BTW, in the Fortune 100 companies I worked for I saw people of color wearing every kind of hairstyle which definitely was not being done to fit in with whites.  This was in NY and CT, though, not in the South so I am sure it might be a regional thing.

Yah it was a regional thing.  I am mostly in finance so that tends to be more conservative. In Atlanta, the other Ryan seem to be able to dress like a hipster and part his hair in a interesting way even though he sounded like a corporate drone. But I notice that in Unfilterd, some of the cast changed the way they dressed away from the way they normally dress in Houston.

I cant believe Michaela would lose it like that on TV. When people look her up, people might see the episodes where she lost it. Gil is smart.  No matter what happens, he is obsessed with looking like the good guy, smoothly smiling. He knows after the show he will probably get a higher paying job and unlimited dates. As long as he keeps his cool, and keeps on smiling.  I dont know how Johnny recovers after the show.  Women might be cautious after watching him on the show. I actually like Myrla more after watching her.  After the first few episodes I really couldn't stand her.  

[Gator Stud]

12 minutes ago, Chatty Cake said:

Johnny may like the idea of being married but I don’t think he can deal with the reality of marriage. Bao didn’t say she constantly misses showers. She just doesn’t want to take multiple showers a day. She seemed proud of her bidet. 

Myrla also doesn’t want the reality of  a marriage. She wants everything to be the same as when she was single just with a partner and that’s not usually how it happens. Gil goes on a little much about her shopping. IMO, what he should be upset about is her dislike of dogs. Complaining as soon as she walks in that his place smells like dog. If they had a lot of passion and seemed to care for each other, they could work on it. She seems to feel nothing for him. I’d tell her to stay in her shitty apartment with her Louis Vuitton and her trash of empty champagne bottles. 

 

I am on Team Myrla with the funky dog smell. I agree with the poster who said that owners get used to it. Why should Myrla get used to it?  She didnt sign up for the dog. This is all on Pastor Cal.

[Yeah No]

Just now, Gator Stud said:

Yah it was a regional thing.  I am mostly in finance so that tends to be more conservative.

BTW, I worked in Finance too.  It does tend to be more conservative but I did see people of color wearing non-traditional hairstyles and men that wore longer and less traditional cuts.  One of my VP bosses was older and always wore his hair in a kind of 1 inch retro 'fro as recently as 10 years ago.  He even used to pick it  I knew others with hair not unlike yours - maybe a little shorter but that was before the pandemic when everyone's hair got a little longer.  I also knew women with corn rows and other non-traditional cuts.  I'm sure it's different in other areas of the country.

[StatisticalOutlier]

14 minutes ago, Gator Stud said:

But in Houston tiny apartments are like $600/month.  I am not saying this is the best house, but she could be living here:
https://www.trulia.com/p/tx/houston/14303-reissen-ln-houston-tx-77069--1004947951

I hope that's not your former crib, because I'm almost twice Myrla's age and don't even need to be where the action is, but I'd consider killing myself if I had to live there.

I would probably feel the same way about Jose's place in Pearland. 

5 minutes ago, Gator Stud said:

Gil is smart.  No matter what happens, he is obsessed with looking like the good guy, smoothly smiling. He knows after the show he will probably get a higher paying job and unlimited dates.

Jesus.  I hope nothing that happens on this show would be taken into account when HFD considers Gil for a promotion, and I can't imagine any other career that he would be able to insert himself into based on being on the show. 

2 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

I seriously doubt any of this is the case for Gil.  He is a firefighter and depending on the rules of the department all firefighters can be required or strongly encouraged to have short hair and definitely no beards.  Again it depends on the specific department.  So I see no forcing Gil into any cultural standard going on here.

FWIW, take a look at the Houston Fire Department's recruiting page.  (The picture isn't insertable here because it's not an https link.)

http://www.hfdcareers.org/faqs.html

The only person with no hair is a white guy who does look like he's balding.  The black guy looks to have a pretty good hairline; not up to the level of the Asian guy, but not noticeably way back on his head.

5 minutes ago, Gator Stud said:

I actually like Myrla more after watching her.  After the first few episodes I really couldn't stand her.  

Me, too.  In fact, I'm doing a flip flop on my opinion of those two, except my opinion that they never should have been matched.  That one's not budging.

[antfitz]

On 9/5/2021 at 8:34 AM, Boo Boo said:

Am I the only one here that thinks it's perfectly acceptable for the husband/wives not to kiss, hold hands, or do anything intimate with their spouse?  Choosing to be on this show doesn't mean you should forced to be intimate -- even if that means a kiss.  If a woman goes on a blind date, she's not required to do anything even remotely sexual.   The same applies here.  These people -- with the exception of Bao and Johnny -- are strangers.  They can kiss, slurp, fuck, whenever they are ready for it.  

What's funny to me is I don't find 81K all that impressive at his age, especially when he is talking like he's moneybags.

Boo Boo  We may be the only 2, but I agree with you. But then I don't believe in one night stands either.

Mikaela needs to go to anger management.   And the previews show her throwing a temper tantrum storm over something else! What she was angry over was just ridiculous.  She needs help and I don't think this marriage is going to last, unless (Zack ?) is able to put up with it.

Edited September 7, 2021 by antfitz

[Gator Stud]

1 hour ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

I hope that's not your former crib, because I'm almost twice Myrla's age and don't even need to be where the action is, but I'd consider killing myself if I had to live there.

I would probably feel the same way about Jose's place in Pearland. 

Jesus.  I hope nothing that happens on this show would be taken into account when HFD considers Gil for a promotion, and I can't imagine any other career that he would be able to insert himself into based on being on the show. 

FWIW, take a look at the Houston Fire Department's recruiting page.  (The picture isn't insertable here because it's not an https link.)

http://www.hfdcareers.org/faqs.html

The only person with no hair is a white guy who does look like he's balding.  The black guy looks to have a pretty good hairline; not up to the level of the Asian guy, but not noticeably way back on his head.

Me, too.  In fact, I'm doing a flip flop on my opinion of those two, except my opinion that they never should have been matched.  That one's not budging.

No I would never lived there.  I lived near Rice University. Most Black men grew their hair during Covid and many are never going back to being bald. Zack has hair. I think he is in Finance. But Finance could mean anything. Didnt Michael from the other season say he was in Finance, but it turned out he cleaned yoga studios.

[JocelynCavanaugh]

For a single woman with a good career, a bunch of fancy shoes vs. way more living space than she needs seems like a wash. Who cares? Both are unnecessary, but she could afford either. I'd rather have the house, but Myrla choosing fashion doesn't faze me. Property taxes in Texas are no joke, nor are air conditioning bills. 

I hate to be the one to say this stuff (not really, I just hate that I live in a world where it needs to be said), but it seems like one of the themes on this show is "man money choice good, lady money use stupid." I may just have a humble master's degree in personal finance, but something we talked about a lot was how people have so many assumptions and so much baggage around money, and how there are different versions of the "right" choice for different people. The prescriptive, moralistic attitude from the "big names" in finance is borderline cultish. As long as you're within some pretty broad parameters like legality and not being in active addiction to shopping or gambling, the most important thing is finding a plan both spouses can live with. It doesn't have to be Jose "Dave Ramsey" San Miguel's Path to Financial Freedom Via Financial Oppression, or whatever the hell Gil is salty about.

Sex and money seem to boil down to the same arguments and tired cliches, and unfortunately, this show only glorifies one extreme for each: the tightwad is inherently right so their budget wins, and the person who wants sex all the time should get sex all the time (and there is something wrong with anyone who isn't 100% fine with holding hands and kissing any rando, as long as they signed a marriage license for TV). 

[Elizzikra]

Quote

When you see someone who always dressed in designer stuff and acting haughty like Myrla, you expect that they at least they own a house or have a kick ass apartment. Not in LA or Manhattan, but definitely in Houston.

When I see someone dressed in designer stuff, I just assume... they like designer stuff. I don't really assume anything else about them, including their financial status. I had one colleague who wore lovely designer clothes... her mother insisted on buying them for her for holidays, her birthday, etc. I have another friend who buys them herself; she saves up and treats herself and she has a few lovely, classic pieces. I scour consignment stores and the few higher end designer bags and pairs of shoes I have came from there. I know plenty of people out there run up credit card bills that whey will struggle to ever pay to buy their designer stuff. So it's probably not too reliable to assume anything about someone just because they carry a designer bag.

Quote

I hope that's not your former crib, because I'm almost twice Myrla's age and don't even need to be where the action is, but I'd consider killing myself if I had to live there.

Why? I have only been to Houston once, so I know it's huge. Is this in a bad area? Because I think the house itself is pretty cute (it loses points for having no backyard). If it's within 5 miles of a Buc'ees, I'd live there.

[Yeah No]

4 hours ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

FWIW, take a look at the Houston Fire Department's recruiting page.  (The picture isn't insertable here because it's not an https link.)

http://www.hfdcareers.org/faqs.html

The only person with no hair is a white guy who does look like he's balding.  The black guy looks to have a pretty good hairline; not up to the level of the Asian guy, but not noticeably way back on his head.

Right, and the men's hair is all pretty short, probably within a certain range.  I still don't see any reason a POC in the Houston FD would have to feel like the only alternative to fit into white culture is shaving their heads, especially since there are only 2 white people in that photo (which I know may not be representative of the entire dept. but still).  I'm assuming the women all have to keep long hair tied up when on duty.  

[Rae Spellman]

Since he's 35, I assumed Gil shaved his head due to a receding hair line. Or that he doesn't like the texture of his hair. 

1 hour ago, Elizzikra said:

When I see someone dressed in designer stuff, I just assume... they like designer stuff. I don't really assume anything else about them, including their financial status.

Agreed. Myrla could have filled her closet over a number of years. Some of the items could be gifts, etc.

[LennieBriscoe]

17 hours ago, Gator Stud said:

This is what some poor people do when they finally get some $$$.  Her tiny apartment doesnt justify her expenses. In LA you see this, but here tiny apartments could rent at $6K/month and decent houses are $4M, so it makes more sense.  But in Houston you could buy a house at $180K so having $70K of clothes in a tiny apartment makes no sense.  

Maybe Myrla doesn't want the headaches, expenses, and taxes that come with a house, being a single woman.

As for making "more sense" or "no sense," what exactly does "sense" mean here? 

"Her tiny apartment doesn't justify her expenses." Um, Myrla is making a deliberate and purposeful trade-off here.  Are you implying that she must either live large to spend large, or live frugally and also spend little? 

I don't get it. 

JocelynCavanaugh, I wish I could ❤ your above post multiple  times!

 

Edited September 7, 2021 by LennieBriscoe

[Gator Stud]

9 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

When I see someone dressed in designer stuff, I just assume... they like designer stuff. I don't really assume anything else about them, including their financial status. I had one colleague who wore lovely designer clothes... her mother insisted on buying them for her for holidays, her birthday, etc. I have another friend who buys them herself; she saves up and treats herself and she has a few lovely, classic pieces. I scour consignment stores and the few higher end designer bags and pairs of shoes I have came from there. I know plenty of people out there run up credit card bills that whey will struggle to ever pay to buy their designer stuff. So it's probably not too reliable to assume anything about someone just because they carry a designer bag.

Why? I have only been to Houston once, so I know it's huge. Is this in a bad area? Because I think the house itself is pretty cute (it loses points for having no backyard). If it's within 5 miles of a Buc'ees, I'd live there.

You dont want to live in the Outer Loop in Houston.  Its a cultural wasteland. Jose lives in Pearland, not the Inner Loop.  Myrla lives in Galleria, the farthest place where you can live in the Inner Loop. Zack lives in Greenway Plaza, in the Inner Loop.   I assume Gil is Outer Loop. Ryan looks like he lives around Mid-town/Washington- Inner Loop. Jonny looks like he lives in Bellaire- the edge of the Inner Loop. 

[Gator Stud]

8 hours ago, Yeah No said:

Right, and the men's hair is all pretty short, probably within a certain range.  I still don't see any reason a POC in the Houston FD would have to feel like the only alternative to fit into white culture is shaving their heads, especially since there are only 2 white people in that photo (which I know may not be representative of the entire dept. but still).  I'm assuming the women all have to keep long hair tied up when on duty.  

I'm just telling you how it is.  Maybe you know differently, from your experiences. Pictures lie.  I was in a promo for a company that I worked for that is getting sued for racial discrimination. Blacks have to do all this stuff to fit in. We dont talk about it all the time, so you dont probably know about it.  Ask yourself this: Why do so many young black men with long beautiful hair, cut it bald? Thats not something guys with straight beautiful hair normally do. Its not a trend/style. Good Blacks are bald and have short hair.  Post-COVID that has all gone out of the window. But it was a thing. I have Black friends who are cops who tell me they have to do stuff to fit in.  They have to suppress who they are.  But back to the show. Who was the Puerto Rican who was bald last season but sometimes grew out his hair?