S16.E09: Week 9

[JudyObscure]

10 hours ago, ljenkins782 said:

When she was expressing her annoyance at the situation, he was all "yeah, totally. This is terrible" as if he had no hand it in whatsoever. Like she'd just buy his paper thin lies even in the face of evidence that he was a fully willing participant in all the drama.

Yes, and he kept saying he was so, so ,so sorry when I don't think he knew exactly what he was being sorry for, he just knew that was a good thing to say.  Bennett reminded me of a guy who once said to me, "I admit it. I f-ked up," and then looked at me like he was sure he had full forgiveness for having said that. Nope.

[GracieK]

“Questioning her integrity” 🙄

What annoys me about this, and other leads have pulled this too, is that relationships are a two way street. I get it they are vying for her as a “prize” and the lead is definitely coached that’s what they are. But to expect anyone who actually wants a real relationship to blindly accept what the other person does with no agency of their own is ridiculous - even in the context of a ridiculous show. IF the idea really is about making a true connection for ever after.

For my superficial snark - I call Ben Gumby. From the wave in his hair to his too wide open eyes and his strange pronounced mouth that he talks sideways out of like a claymation figure. 
 

[catrice2]

46 minutes ago, GracieK said:

“Questioning her integrity” 🙄

What annoys me about this, and other leads have pulled this too, is that relationships are a two way street. I get it they are vying for her as a “prize” and the lead is definitely coached that’s what they are. But to expect anyone who actually wants a real relationship to blindly accept what the other person does with no agency of their own is ridiculous - even in the context of a ridiculous show. IF the idea really is about making a true connection for ever after.

For my superficial snark - I call Ben Gumby. From the wave in his hair to his too wide open eyes and his strange pronounced mouth that he talks sideways out of like a claymation figure. 
 

I can't unsee it and I agree. I've been looking for a description for him and you nailed it.

[Jax7917]

23 hours ago, saber5055 said:

LOL! We've said that every season for years now.

I've actually seen nothing to prove to me Tayshia is "a nice person." What does that even mean? That she doesn't kick puppies or hit little kids? Everyone can be "a nice person" just like everyone can be a real snot, all in the same person. Tayshia IMO is pretty shallow, she doesn't talk about anything deeper than "Oh, you like me." All these men have to reveal their deepest darkest, and who knows how that's going to affect them IRL when they actually have to go to a real job, red flags flying. Anyone going to hire the suicide guy? Not sure about that. But Tayshia? No one knows one single thing about her other than she grew up in a primarily white area and she felt different. End of her story. Although perhaps she is the only one who realizes that "telling all" isn't a good thing to do on national tv. She's just following the script and being a good girl for Fleiss.

Yeah the sob stories seem to be on overdrive this season with the contestants , but the lead never really talks about themselves much ( edited that way of course .) but it’s always the people vying for love that have to open up or go home . The lead is just there to be a person they’re telling their sad stories to and in turn get a rose for being “open and vulnerable .” ( God those words are overused on this show .) we hardly ever know anything about the lead . I like tayshia as a bachelorette and I hardly ever say that . I feel like a bachelorette should be bubbly , fun , sweet , confident and doesn’t take everything so seriously a la Clare . I think Tayshia is doing a good job with it . 

[catrice2]

Such a dumb interview with her ex husband.  He has to be smart enough to know that shows are edited a certain way and that the people have limited control over how it is edited and NONE over how the wider public will receive it, process it and act on it.  Bottom line, he did cheat. Whether it was once or multiple times.  No one with a brain believes that all breakups are the fault of one person, nor does he know if UNAIRED she did take responsibility for her part.  I am way more interested in why he didn't want to have children with her?    

This is why they need to air certain conversations.  Even though they had been together for some time, perhaps in the end he could not see himself being the father of a bi racial child.  Not saying that is it, but it has happened to a few friends of mine, one Asian one Hispanic.  Their boyfriend/fiance in the end did not want what they perceived went along with raising a child and trying to incorporate all backgrounds. I am sure there were other things, but that was the main reason they gave my friends. 

Yes, I am sure it is hard for the family, friends and ex's of people who go on national television because people are kooks.  Leave the man alone....but by the same token he surely does not expect her to pass up opportunities because they were once married and there are stupid people in this world? 

[thehepburn]

I really don't want to talk about the ex-hubby's podcast today since he is a waste of space but you do bring up a good pt about him not wanting children with her because she wants 5 kids. That is such a huge dicotomy of outlook that I'm surprised that they wasted 7 yrs together.

[Rorysmom]

7 hours ago, GracieK said:

“Questioning her integrity” 🙄

What annoys me about this, and other leads have pulled this too, is that relationships are a two way street. I get it they are vying for her as a “prize” and the lead is definitely coached that’s what they are. But to expect anyone who actually wants a real relationship to blindly accept what the other person does with no agency of their own is ridiculous - even in the context of a ridiculous show. IF the idea really is about making a true connection for ever after.

For my superficial snark - I call Ben Gumby. From the wave in his hair to his too wide open eyes and his strange pronounced mouth that he talks sideways out of like a claymation figure. 
 

Ben reminds me of Tigger. 

[nlkm9]

6 hours ago, catrice2 said:

I can't unsee it and I agree. I've been looking for a description for him and you nailed it.

I know. gumby. oy.

1 hour ago, thehepburn said:

I really don't want to talk about the ex-hubby's podcast today since he is a waste of space but you do bring up a good pt about him not wanting children with her because she wants 5 kids. That is such a huge dicotomy of outlook that I'm surprised that they wasted 7 yrs together.

whose ex husband? what did i miss?

[nlkm9]

4 hours ago, Jaclyn88 said:

Yeah the sob stories seem to be on overdrive this season with the contestants , but the lead never really talks about themselves much ( edited that way of course .) but it’s always the people vying for love that have to open up or go home . The lead is just there to be a person they’re telling their sad stories to and in turn get a rose for being “open and vulnerable .” ( God those words are overused on this show .) we hardly ever know anything about the lead . I like tayshia as a bachelorette and I hardly ever say that . I feel like a bachelorette should be bubbly , fun , sweet , confident and doesn’t take everything so seriously a la Clare . I think Tayshia is doing a good job with it . 

I do like Tayshia as a lead, but feel like as others have said we know so little about her. She fell for Colton, dated JPJ and I am curious if she has a preference in who or what she dates. but horrible as i thought she would be, she really handles the guys well, she doesnt do the bachelor handshake, and just a side note she was so startled when Bennet showed up she bumped into the door--i felt badly for her. but yes she really is a kind of a blank slate, but a nice lead if that makes sense.

[thehepburn]

49 minutes ago, nlkm9 said:

 

whose ex husband? what did i miss?

 

Tay's ex-hub did a podcast today telling his side. Link in Media Thread.

 

 

44 minutes ago, nlkm9 said:

I do like Tayshia as a lead, but feel like as others have said we know so little about her. She fell for Colton, dated JPJ and I am curious if she has a preference in who or what she dates. but horrible as i thought she would be, she really handles the guys well, she doesnt do the bachelor handshake, and just a side note she was so startled when Bennet showed up she bumped into the door--i felt badly for her. but yes she really is a kind of a blank slate, but a nice lead if that makes sense.

We saw her doing it in next week's preview.

[dirtypop90]

1 hour ago, nlkm9 said:

I do like Tayshia as a lead, but feel like as others have said we know so little about her. She fell for Colton, dated JPJ and I am curious if she has a preference in who or what she dates. but horrible as i thought she would be, she really handles the guys well, she doesnt do the bachelor handshake, and just a side note she was so startled when Bennet showed up she bumped into the door--i felt badly for her. but yes she really is a kind of a blank slate, but a nice lead if that makes sense.

According to tayshia, her ex husband was her only real relationship and it took her years to get over it. So we’re dealing with someone who hasn’t dated seriously since this one relationship that scarred her that she had to work through. I get the feeling from tayshia she hasn’t even explored a lot to know if she has a preference or what she wants in a man. And I think that’s why I’m enjoying her season. I see a woman who is gravitating toward different types of men and trying to figure out what works for her. I can’t name any two men left that I think are similar in any way. I think whom tayshia chooses will be a surprise to herself.

she’s also pretty religious, according to her, but we don’t see any of that...maybe because they didn’t want another Hannah b/Luke type storyline (though I don’t think she’s anything like Hannah). But I have noticed she is less sexually aggressive than recent bachelorettes and I like that too. Way too much dry humping before week 3 in recent seasons JMO

I don’t buy she fell for JPJ; I think that was a tv cameras only relationship. But she thought he was cute and interesting. He appears nothing like her ex though.

Edited December 10, 2020 by dirtypop90

[catrice2]

1 hour ago, nlkm9 said:

I do like Tayshia as a lead, but feel like as others have said we know so little about her. She fell for Colton, dated JPJ and I am curious if she has a preference in who or what she dates. but horrible as i thought she would be, she really handles the guys well, she doesnt do the bachelor handshake, and just a side note she was so startled when Bennet showed up she bumped into the door--i felt badly for her. but yes she really is a kind of a blank slate, but a nice lead if that makes sense.

I think they all should be. I remember when it started and they were not mining from previous shows. They all should be new people the audience doesn't know and doesn't have the time to develop.  Since I don't watch the franchise and she give nothing away , I can't honestly say I am investing in her journey, I honestly just watched because ABC was making all these promises about "change" and all they did was trade locations from trauma... and threw in a few more people than normal that never stood a chance...

[chocolatine]

17 minutes ago, dirtypop90 said:

she’s also pretty religious, according to her, but we don’t see any of that...

Conversations about religion are only shown when it's part of a person's "narrative," e.g. Sean Lowe or Madison on Peter's season. Even when the leads weren't Christian (e.g. Mesnick, Andi), not a word was aired about it. That's a shame because religion (or lack thereof) is a huge factor in compatibility, and I'm sure with an increasingly diverse cast there are many interesting conversations to be had. But TPTB are too scared to alienate "Bachelor Nation," so I doubt they'll ever go there.

[dirtypop90]

17 minutes ago, catrice2 said:

I think they all should be. I remember when it started and they were not mining from previous shows. They all should be new people the audience doesn't know and doesn't have the time to develop.  Since I don't watch the franchise and she give nothing away , I can't honestly say I am investing in her journey, I honestly just watched because ABC was making all these promises about "change" and all they did was trade locations from trauma... and threw in a few more people than normal that never stood a chance...

Your feelings about lack of investment in tayshia because you don’t watch the show is why they don’t usually go outside the franchise. You pull someone no one knows and why would anyone care about their journey? I tuned in because I cared about Clare and tayshia based on their previous appearances in the franchise. I have zero investment in our new bachelor finding love because he hasn’t appeared on the show. 

I didn’t see any “change” promotion and don’t think they added more people than normal this season. Tayshia’s season feels more like a normal season with a normal ending (and not the type we’ve had recently).

[nlkm9]

41 minutes ago, dirtypop90 said:

According to tayshia, her ex husband was her only real relationship and it took her years to get over it. So we’re dealing with someone who hasn’t dated seriously since this one relationship that scarred her that she had to work through. I get the feeling from tayshia she hasn’t even explored a lot to know if she has a preference or what she wants in a man. And I think that’s why I’m enjoying her season. I see a woman who is gravitating toward different types of men and trying to figure out what works for her. I can’t name any two men left that I think are similar in any way. I think whom tayshia chooses will be a surprise to herself.

she’s also pretty religious, according to her, but we don’t see any of that...maybe because they didn’t want another Hannah b/Luke type storyline (though I don’t think she’s anything like Hannah). But I have noticed she is less sexually aggressive than recent bachelorettes and I like that too. Way too much dry humping before week 3 in recent seasons JMO

I don’t buy she fell for JPJ; I think that was a tv cameras only relationship. But she thought he was cute and interesting. He appears nothing like her ex though.

And also i remember that before she went on coltons season she had a serious boyfriend that she was all over Instagram with . Did she ever mention that she was married previously on coltons season ? I guess cause i don’t know much about her , I’m enjoying seeing what happens .

[thehepburn]

48 minutes ago, dirtypop90 said:

According to tayshia, her ex husband was her only real relationship and it took her years to get over it. So we’re dealing with someone who hasn’t dated seriously since this one relationship that scarred her that she had to work through. I get the feeling from tayshia she hasn’t even explored a lot to know if she has a preference or what she wants in a man. And I think that’s why I’m enjoying her season. I see a woman who is gravitating toward different types of men and trying to figure out what works for her. I can’t name any two men left that I think are similar in any way. I think whom tayshia chooses will be a surprise to herself.

 

 

My hinkmeter is going off.   Wasnt her divorce in 2017? And it took her YEARS? While she has been dating on national tv for the past 2 yrs?

Yeah, she is not over her asshole ex IMO. That's probably why she is only shallowly intersted in all the men.

Edited December 11, 2020 by thehepburn

[dirtypop90]

50 minutes ago, nlkm9 said:

And also i remember that before she went on coltons season she had a serious boyfriend that she was all over Instagram with . Did she ever mention that she was married previously on coltons season ? I guess cause i don’t know much about her , I’m enjoying seeing what happens .

She stated that was not her boyfriend. They dated casually and he confirmed it wasn’t a relationship. He was contacted as well. Yes she brought up her divorce to Colton 

47 minutes ago, thehepburn said:

 

My hinkmeter is going off.   Wasnt her divorce in 2017? And it took her YEARS? While she has been dating on national tv for the past 2 yrs?

Yeah, she is not over her asshole ex IMO. That's probably why she is only shallowly intersted in all the men.

She also reads to me as not being over her ex. In his interview he stated she was texting him (maybe calling too) apologizing IMO for no reason. That said to me she still cared about him. He cheated on her and she’s apologizing for...being honest.. and rumors she didn’t create.

Edited December 11, 2020 by dirtypop90

[Fable]

I think I’ve already said it, but Ben just creeps me out. I have a hard time believing his weight loss story too.  I’m not an expert but I did work in a weight loss clinic for about a year, and I know a lot of people have trouble with excess/loose skin for a while after extreme weight loss.  I don’t know how long it has been since he dropped all his weight, so I may be way off base, but he looked a little too fit and trim.  The suicide story was sad, but I also have a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that he would share this with Tayshia and not tell his sister before sharing on national TV. 

[catrice2]

1 hour ago, dirtypop90 said:

Your feelings about lack of investment in tayshia because you don’t watch the show is why they don’t usually go outside the franchise. You pull someone no one knows and why would anyone care about their journey? I tuned in because I cared about Clare and tayshia based on their previous appearances in the franchise. I have zero investment in our new bachelor finding love because he hasn’t appeared on the show. 

I didn’t see any “change” promotion and don’t think they added more people than normal this season. Tayshia’s season feels more like a normal season with a normal ending (and not the type we’ve had recently).

That is a personal preference and different people feel a different way. I know plenty of people who watch and are excited for Matt's season because he was not on a previous season and have hated other seasons because they feel like they already know too much, good or bad, about the person from their previous appearances and they can't let go of whatever that impression was and enjoy them as the lead.    And I know people who don't watch who plan to because he was not a part of a previous show, and others who watch not because they care about the lead..whom they don't know...and their journey, but either to snark and hate watch or for some of my older friends they admit it is out of habit and most of the the time they don't like the lead, or don't like them by the end of the show.  Some people are just going to watch no matter who the lead is...

And unless someone mislead me they did make a change....they cast older men and an older Bachelorette in Claire, and this board keeps saying they are showing more meaningful conversations...and that the men are more mature....soooooo.......and yes, they heavily promoted in interviews and articles that this season would be different with an older Bachelorette....even I didn't miss that without looking for it. 

Edited December 11, 2020 by catrice2

[dirtypop90]

18 minutes ago, catrice2 said:

That is a personal preference and different people feel a different way. I know plenty of people who watch and are excited for Matt's season because he was not on a previous season and have hated other seasons because they feel like they already know too much, good or bad, about the person from their previous appearances and they can't let go of whatever that impression was and enjoy them as the lead.    And I know people who don't watch who plan to because he was not a part of a previous show, and others who watch not because they care about the lead..whom they don't know...and their journey, but either to snark and hate watch or for some of my older friends they admit it is out of habit and most of the the time they don't like the lead, or don't like them by the end of the show.  Some people are just going to watch no matter who the lead is...

And unless someone mislead me they did make a change....they cast older men and an older Bachelorette in Claire, and this board keeps saying they are showing more meaningful conversations...and that the men are more mature....soooooo.......and yes, they heavily promoted in interviews and articles that this season would be different with an older Bachelorette....even I didn't miss that without looking for it. 

I see what you’re saying—yes, this was promoted as not like recent seasons where we had young leads whom were not ready for marriage. Clare is older and ready so she was more like the leads of old; she was also from an older season. Tayshia is also older, been divorced, men on her season have jobs and been divorced and more settled. Previous bachelorette was a 25 year old pageant girl from Alabama who made a mess of her season due to her low self esteem and just not being ready; she chose a 24-year old singer who only signed up for his music career. So when they meant change they just meant revert back to normal and I do think season has done that. All JMO

 

Edit to add: Matt hasn’t been on the show but he has very much been exposed to the franchise as he is close friends with a former lead and contestant and all over social media with them. And what I’ve seen makes me even less interested.

Edited December 11, 2020 by dirtypop90

[Alexander Pope]

2 hours ago, dirtypop90 said:

According to tayshia, her ex husband was her only real relationship and it took her years to get over it. So we’re dealing with someone who hasn’t dated seriously since this one relationship that scarred her that she had to work through. I get the feeling from tayshia she hasn’t even explored a lot to know if she has a preference or what she wants in a man. And I think that’s why I’m enjoying her season. I see a woman who is gravitating toward different types of men and trying to figure out what works for her. I can’t name any two men left that I think are similar in any way. I think whom tayshia chooses will be a surprise to herself.

she’s also pretty religious, according to her, but we don’t see any of that...maybe because they didn’t want another Hannah b/Luke type storyline (though I don’t think she’s anything like Hannah). But I have noticed she is less sexually aggressive than recent bachelorettes and I like that too. Way too much dry humping before week 3 in recent seasons JMO

I don’t buy she fell for JPJ; I think that was a tv cameras only relationship. But she thought he was cute and interesting. He appears nothing like her ex though.

Hannah B. was both religious and a champion dry humper!

[dirtypop90]

1 minute ago, Alexander Pope said:

Hannah B. was both religious and a champion dry humper!

Hannah B was a lot of things!

[LuvMyShows]

39 minutes ago, GracieK said:

“Questioning her integrity” 🙄

What annoys me about this, and other leads have pulled this too, is that relationships are a two way street. I get it they are vying for her as a “prize” and the lead is definitely coached that’s what they are. But to expect anyone who actually wants a real relationship to blindly accept what the other person does with no agency of their own is ridiculous - even in the context of a ridiculous show. IF the idea really is about making a true connection for ever after.
 

On 12/9/2020 at 8:23 AM, JudyObscure said:

Yeah, she does that anytime she's displeased.  She said she wanted to get to the bottom of their issue, but then didn't seem the least bit interested in what they had to say.  Instead of defending Noah she turned it into, how dare they waste time on her show talking about something other than her?  The, "You questioned my integrity!" made me wonder if she even knew what integrity meant. "There's zero chance Tayshia will pick you,"  coming from Bennett's point of view, actually compliments Tayshia by saying she wouldn't pick him because she has good sense.  

I couldn't be with someone who didn't argue logically  or who sat back with a judgmental attitude rather than trying to understand my issue.  Big red flag guys!  

I have really, really liked Tayshia far more than I expected from the blank slate/cipher that she projected on Colton's season.  However, she did that same "Don't question me" thing when she did scolded all the guys after believing what Noah said without checking.  It truly is a giant red flag.

On 12/9/2020 at 9:52 AM, JudyObscure said:

I was hoping she would light into Bennett for being condescending and insulting to Noah, but if she did ,I didn't hear that.   (I might have missed something.)

I don't doubt she's a "nice person," but so far she's seemed very self-involved to me.  She loves it when men "open up" to her, but then after they've bared their soul, she always seems more tickled that they've told her than caring about what they've actually said.

Yes, this too.

On 12/9/2020 at 12:13 AM, Arkay said:

I imagine for the hometowns, the families are in Palm Springs, having been tested and quarantined. Which begs the question if that would begin when it's the final four, or are seven or eight families quarantined? Or is it all bullshit, as we see once again there are guest stars like whomever that band was. Each week I wonder if everyone who drops in for an episode has followed the protocols. 

I've been so curious about this.  But if it is true, then I wonder if Tayshia and the guys don't know it at this point in the show, because I doubt their acting abilities would be good enough to not have something slip through in what they say or how they act about "hometowns".  (Of course, maybe they did, and it just got edited out!)

On 12/9/2020 at 8:57 AM, Lamb18 said:

I forgot Jojo is pseudo-Chris H! She comes walking in and I think, what's she doing here?

What I really don't like, is that they have her wearing clothes that compete with Tayshia, almost like a mini-Bachelorette wardrobe.  She wore that green gown for the rose ceremony and that intensely cute outfit on the scooter.  There's no reason she can't look nice, but with far more of a second fiddle appearance.

[dirtypop90]

Speaking of hometowns, what about fantasy suites?? How are they doing them? Is it even fantasy suites if they don’t travel?

[thehepburn]

28 minutes ago, dirtypop90 said:

Speaking of hometowns, what about fantasy suites?? How are they doing them? Is it even fantasy suites if they don’t travel?

 

Spoilers have the answer to that.  I am not sure if I am allowed to say it in this thread tho.

 

50 minutes ago, LuvMyShows said:

 

What I really don't like, is that they have her wearing clothes that compete with Tayshia, almost like a mini-Bachelorette wardrobe.  She wore that green gown for the rose ceremony and that intensely cute outfit on the scooter.  There's no reason she can't look nice, but with far more of a second fiddle appearance.

 

Yeah, I thought she showed too much skin. You can still be gorgeous w/o showing that much cleavage and thigh. Tay's wardrobe was so hideous that last episode that I kept looking at jojo for eye relief.

[Kiss my mutt]

Oh Hannah Brown with her I fucked Peter four times in a windmill but Jesus loves me! Lol That should have been on a bingo card. 

[Arkay]

3 hours ago, dirtypop90 said:

 

Matt hasn’t been on the show but he has very much been exposed to the franchise as he is close friends with a former lead and contestant and all over social media with them. And what I’ve seen makes me even less interested.

I'm one of those whose preference is for a brand new person to be the Bachelor or Bachelorette. For me it was much more enjoyable back when the lead was an unknown and I didn't have a preconceived opinion about that person. Just like I find it interesting to get to know and develop an opinion about each new crop of contestants and can learn some surprising things about them. It used to be like that before this year's-long daisy chain that we have now. I didn't like Hannah Brown and was mightily sick of Clare, Peter the Pilot made me retch, etc. and that impacted how I felt about each season.

I agree with @dirtypop90 that even though Matt hasn't been a contestant, he's contestant-adjacent through Tyler. It's refreshing to have new blood, but I wish I didn't know anything about him already. 

[nlkm9]

8 hours ago, thehepburn said:

 

Spoilers have the answer to that.  I am not sure if I am allowed to say it in this thread tho.

 

 

Yeah, I thought she showed too much skin. You can still be gorgeous w/o showing that much cleavage and thigh. Tay's wardrobe was so hideous that last episode that I kept looking at jojo for eye relief.

One think about jojo - i don’t think i have ever seen her in anything that was not revealing in some way- that is just the way she dresses , there is nothing casual about her . (Not said as a compliment or insult ), but she does dress in a way to always show her body off . I can’t see her playing second fiddle. I have to beleive they are being strict about covid since Chris Harrison had to leave the show to take his som to college .

[DEL901]

1 hour ago, nlkm9 said:

One think about jojo - i don’t think i have ever seen her in anything that was not revealing in some way- that is just the way she dresses , there is nothing casual about her . (Not said as a compliment or insult ), but she does dress in a way to always show her body off . I can’t see her playing second fiddle. I have to beleive they are being strict about covid since Chris Harrison had to leave the show to take his som to college .

There were a few articles in US magazine etc. that when Chris returned from driving his son to college in Texas he thought he’d just take back over from Jojo, and was pissed he was made to quarantine for 2 weeks.  

[Back Atcha]

I wondered about all the SHORTS worn by this season's Bachelorette, shorts, shorts, shorts ... but then the photographer on the Zac/Tayshia "wedding" photoshoot wore short-shorts too.  THEN...JoJo wears shorts.  Do the "stars" get to choose the clothing styles?

[Recyclorette]

15 hours ago, Alexander Pope said:

Hannah B. was both religious and a champion dry humper!

Haha!  But in all seriousness, don't air any of the religious stuff; it's obnoxious.  I was OK with Madison, because she didn't flaunt it--but Luke, Sean--no, no, no.  Keep any religion talk private between the contestants and don't come on TV looking to force your beliefs down my throat.  There's way too much of that and we need to live and let live and respect each other's freedom to believe what we want.  Rant over.

Edited December 11, 2020 by Recyclorette

[catrice2]

14 hours ago, Kiss my mutt said:

Oh Hannah Brown with her I fucked Peter four times in a windmill but Jesus loves me! Lol That should have been on a bingo card. 

Wow, I didn't know you could have sex on this show. 

[catrice2]

12 hours ago, Arkay said:

I'm one of those whose preference is for a brand new person to be the Bachelor or Bachelorette. For me it was much more enjoyable back when the lead was an unknown and I didn't have a preconceived opinion about that person. Just like I find it interesting to get to know and develop an opinion about each new crop of contestants and can learn some surprising things about them. It used to be like that before this year's-long daisy chain that we have now. I didn't like Hannah Brown and was mightily sick of Clare, Peter the Pilot made me retch, etc. and that impacted how I felt about each season.

I agree with @dirtypop90 that even though Matt hasn't been a contestant, he's contestant-adjacent through Tyler. It's refreshing to have new blood, but I wish I didn't know anything about him already. 

@Arkay Please don't get me started on how calculated I think his choice as the first Black Bachelor is....and how safe, because of those ties to the franchise.  In fact, the only thing I knew about him was he was TYLER's friend, and that he wants a women just like his mom!   They have done everything they can to virtue signal, yet play to their core audience.   Honestly both Tayshia and Matt are not getting the exotic location, etc., and with her she even got leftover men.....I have no doubt his franchise friends will be featured on his season...ugh! 

[catrice2]

16 hours ago, Fable said:

I think I’ve already said it, but Ben just creeps me out. I have a hard time believing his weight loss story too.  I’m not an expert but I did work in a weight loss clinic for about a year, and I know a lot of people have trouble with excess/loose skin for a while after extreme weight loss.  I don’t know how long it has been since he dropped all his weight, so I may be way off base, but he looked a little too fit and trim.  The suicide story was sad, but I also have a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that he would share this with Tayshia and not tell his sister before sharing on national TV. 

Yes, he creeps me out too, but that was before I knew his backstory. He talks about his great support system and how far he has come in therapy, but shares something like this on national tv with someone he barely knows.  If he was so settled with it he would have shared it with others before. I am not creeped out by his personal traumas, I have respect and empathy, I just think something is off about him and that he is not the great catch just because he is battling illnesses.    Most people are of one kind or another.  Mental Health is real...from what I've seen there are quite a few guys there bravely fighting something... I just hope they provide aftercare for several months for the contestants. 

[catrice2]

@Arkay  the other thing about it is that since they now mine from previous shows many people come on and act in certain ways to be considered for Paradise or being a lead.  If that was off the table you might get more authentic reactions instead of people trying to make an impact to grow their business or social media. 

Also, I don't think the wardrobe department knows how to dress her casually.  When it comes to evening looks she is fine, but if it is a casual look just looking back at clips every one of those outfits have been questionable. 

[chocolatine]

52 minutes ago, catrice2 said:

Honestly both Tayshia and Matt are not getting the exotic location

The lack of exotic locations is due to the pandemic. Many countries have travel restrictions, so even if TPTB wanted to incorporate travel it would be logistically impossible.

[Fable]

1 hour ago, catrice2 said:

Yes, he creeps me out too, but that was before I knew his backstory.

Oh, I should clarify.  It’s not his backstory that creeps me out.  It is the fact that I am not sure how much of his story I believe.  He comes off as shady and manipulative, almost a stalker type.  

[JudyObscure]

2 hours ago, Recyclorette said:

Haha!  But in all seriousness, don't air any of the religious stuff; it's obnoxious.  I was OK with Madison, because she didn't flaunt it--but Luke, Sean--no, no, no.  Keep any religion talk private between the contestants and don't come on TV looking to force your beliefs down my throat.  There's way too much of that and we need to live and let live and respect each other's freedom to believe what we want.  Rant over.

This sort of reminds me of the military's short lived  police of "don't ask don't tell" for gays and lesbians.  The military was saying, "We respect your freedom and your right to   be gay, but don't force it down our throats by actually talking  about it, or making us watch you kiss or something, because ewww." LOL Thankfully that didn't last long.  People are free to be what they are and believe what they want, but no one is guaranteed freedom from knowing that differences exist.

[Recyclorette]

3 hours ago, JudyObscure said:

This sort of reminds me of the military's short lived  police of "don't ask don't tell" for gays and lesbians.  The military was saying, "We respect your freedom and your right to   be gay, but don't force it down our throats by actually talking  about it, or making us watch you kiss or something, because ewww." LOL Thankfully that didn't last long.  People are free to be what they are and believe what they want, but no one is guaranteed freedom from knowing that differences exist.

Good Lord, we're talking about a TV show meant to entertain.  Do you seriously think someone very religious would submit themselves to this show format without an agenda?  Yes, Madison decided to do it, but she didn't use the platform to preach.  I guess we could say she was there for the right reasons! 

We know differences exist, but we don't need to be overwhelmed with examples of all those differences, in all media, all the time.  We have a right to enjoy some entertainment every now an then and not be subjected to someone's attempt at manipulation.  No one should have a platform to "force it (anything) down our throats."  As annoying as I found Hannah B, she was absolutely right to tell Luke off when he attempted to do that.

And the don't ask, don't tell military policy forbid the military from asking about a member's sexual orientation and protected members from being compelled to reveal that orientation.  I believe your interpretation is a bit embellished.  

Edited December 11, 2020 by Recyclorette

[Arkay]

2 hours ago, catrice2 said:

@Arkay  the other thing about it is that since they now mine from previous shows many people come on and act in certain ways to be considered for Paradise or being a lead.  If that was off the table you might get more authentic reactions instead of people trying to make an impact to grow their business or social media. 

Absolutely. In early seasons, while I'm sure contestants were thrilled to be on TV, there wasn't much opportunity to parlay their time into a whole new career. That was before social media and before every lead was a retread from a previous season. Now everyone has maybe half an eye on connecting with the lead, and an eye and a half on how to make this their new career. That includes Tayshia and Hannah and all of them. They were whatever; now they are influencers, they're on DWTS and so on. 

1 hour ago, chocolatine said:

The lack of exotic locations is due to the pandemic. Many countries have travel restrictions, so even if TPTB wanted to incorporate travel it would be logistically impossible.

Yes. Clare was under this restriction as well. It's not to give short shrift to people of color; this is just unfortunate timing. 

It would be something  if Tayshia does select a MOC as her final pick, but so far in her life and on the three times she's been on the show, she seems to gravitate more to the white men. I know race should not be the defining issue in matters of the heart, but who is left besides Ivan?  I want to feel that she's into him, but I don't. 

[catrice2]

2 hours ago, chocolatine said:

The lack of exotic locations is due to the pandemic. Many countries have travel restrictions, so even if TPTB wanted to incorporate travel it would be logistically impossible.

 I am not an idiot of course I realize that .my point being that for the 1st black bachelor hes getting short changed and she is too.  They were virtue signalling and trying to quiet down people because of the protests and jumped into finding the 1st franchise friendly black man that they could think of that is mixed race. They have waited all these years they could have waited longer.

[catrice2]

55 minutes ago, Arkay said:

Absolutely. In early seasons, while I'm sure contestants were thrilled to be on TV, there wasn't much opportunity to parlay their time into a whole new career. That was before social media and before every lead was a retread from a previous season. Now everyone has maybe half an eye on connecting with the lead, and an eye and a half on how to make this their new career. That includes Tayshia and Hannah and all of them. They were whatever; now they are influencers, they're on DWTS and so on. 

Yes. Clare was under this restriction as well. It's not to give short shrift to people of color; this is just unfortunate timing. 

It would be something  if Tayshia does select a MOC as her final pick, but so far in her life and on the three times she's been on the show, she seems to gravitate more to the white men. I know race should not be the defining issue in matters of the heart, but who is left besides Ivan?  I want to feel that she's into him, but I don't. 

 Which is yet but another reason that she and Matt were chosen. They are worried abt ratings and do not feel their base will watch if it is two black people in love. They technically could have chosen another POC but based on the info they had on them they knew it was a low probability.  ABC is virtue signaling and playing a game. Did Tayshia have any Hispanic men on this season? They were to busy worrying abt how the response to BLM would be perceived l. All just my opinion. 

[chocolatine]

12 minutes ago, catrice2 said:

 I am not an idiot of course I realize that .my point being that for the 1st black bachelor hes getting short changed and she is too.  They were virtue signalling and trying to quiet down people because of the protests and jumped into finding the 1st franchise friendly black man that they could think of that is mixed race. They have waited all these years they could have waited longer.

So not having a Black lead is wrong, and having one is ... also wrong?

[Kiss my mutt]

This season of the bachelorette started out with a white woman though so I don’t think it was premeditated to shortchange people of color. 
I do wonder if there will be any outcry when Tayshia picks a white man because It’s definitely not looking as good for Riley and my sweet Ivan and if she feels societal pressure to do so. 

[Arkay]

28 minutes ago, catrice2 said:

 Which is yet but another reason that she and Matt were chosen. They are worried abt ratings and do not feel their base will watch if it is two black people in love. They technically could have chosen another POC but based on the info they had on them they knew it was a low probability.  ABC is virtue signaling and playing a game. Did Tayshia have any Hispanic men on this season? They were to busy worrying abt how the response to BLM would be perceived l. All just my opinion. 

Tayshia is biracial and so is Matt, but Rachel was not. Her contestants were diverse, but she ended up choosing a Hispanic man. However, the one she begged to love her was Peter, who was white. 

Bachelors Juan Pablo and Peter were Hispanic, but definitely white Hispanic. Ali chose Roberto who was Hispanic. Sean married Catherine who was Asian. My point is really that the show is taking at least some steps towards diversity, but the lead is going to choose the person they want. Clare chose Dale instantaneously and we didn't see her reference his color at all. She just saw Dale and was lovestruck.

I'd be thrilled to see two POC fall in love, if love is ever real on this show. I'm a steady watcher but wouldn't call myself the base, as I watch with scorn. I myself, a white woman, married a Hispanic and my belief is we should adhere to Dr. King's plea, that people should be judged on the content of their character and not their skin color. 

I can't recall if there were any Hispanics this season. Poor Dr. Joe got zero attention from Tayshia. I applaud the show for presenting MUCH more diversity in the contestants than in the past. Then the choice belongs to the lead. 

[nlkm9]

Wasn’t Sean a “ born again virgin”? What is that exactly ?

[catrice2]

4 hours ago, Fable said:

Oh, I should clarify.  It’s not his backstory that creeps me out.  It is the fact that I am not sure how much of his story I believe.  He comes off as shady and manipulative, almost a stalker type.  

No, I didn't think you were referring to his backstory at all.  I don't jump to conclusions on here 

[catrice2]

2 hours ago, chocolatine said:

So not having a Black lead is wrong, and having one is ... also wrong?

Who said either was wrong?  Don't try to interpret what I am saying or how I feel.  I honestly wish there was never a black lead on this show....I am just saying I don't like ABC pretending and trying to be something they are not. What I am saying is that they are not  trying  diversity" for the right reasons," and they are doing it in a certain way to protect their wider audience and base, that is all I am saying.  I am the snark watcher so pay me no mind.  There are larger and more important battles than diversity on a dating show. 

[Kiss my mutt]

13 minutes ago, catrice2 said:

Who said either was wrong?  Don't try to interpret what I am saying or how I feel.  I honestly wish there was never a black lead on this show....I am just saying I don't like ABC pretending and trying to be something they are not. What I am saying is that they are not  trying  diversity" for the right reasons," and they are doing it in a certain way to protect their wider audience and base, that is all I am saying.  I am the snark watcher so pay me no mind.  There are larger and more important battles than diversity on a dating show. 

Maybe I misunderstood, but I thought you said you didn’t watch the show. 

[Stats Queen]

3 hours ago, nlkm9 said:

Wasn’t Sean a “ born again virgin”? What is that exactly ?

Well, my dad apparently thought that was possible because I was divorced, 30 years old and was getting remarried but my now hubby of now 25 years had to be in another house before our wedding even though we were effectively living together, because the sanctity of marriage was paramount for my dad in his strict Catholic mind.

my parents are very Catholic as WAS I, but I met my abusive ex at church, so my second marriage to my soulmate was to a wonderful Jewish man. We were married by a priest who was a family friend and a cool rabbi. My mom asked if we would have communion at the ceremony and I told her, yes, and a bris. She also thought I should wear a hat - 1. I look horrible in hats and 2. I am 5’2” at the most and hubby is 6’3” ...

To be fair, my dad is is still in denial that my nephew, his grandson, was living with someone and had a child out of wedlock (he still decided to believe they weren’t having sex together - and that it was the first woman he had lived with)

I never thought I was a born again virgin because that ship had already sailed 🤣 Really, really hard to unring that bell.