S11.E07: The Honeymoon is Over

[Lindz]

WHYYYY is Brett so sensitive?? First, the rating. Now, his home. It's shocking & uncalled for.

[Lindz]

Maybe Olivia & Christina got their double-chins from all the looking down they do on others. 😂😂

#DoubleChinniestSeasonEver

[Lindz]

On 8/29/2020 at 3:13 PM, KateHearts said:

I can't get over the fact that Christina has said several times on camera how she is baffled that, unlike other men, Henry hasn't fallen all over her and told her "how beautiful I am." Even if that were true (doubtful), it's so weird to bring that up repetitively. I think she is in love with a completely unrealistic ideal (i.e., flowers, romance, sweeping her off her feet) and she isn't at all invested in knowing Henry. Not that he is easy to draw out, but we've seen other couples in seasons past where the attraction/match was just not there, or something we didn't see happened (a grave lie committed, or a horrible comment made) that just doomed the relationship from the get-go.  I am wondering if that happened here. I know if I were just meeting someone who was supposed to be a great match for me, and they were more consumed with forgetting their earrings or sniped at people before they walked down the aisle, I would have immediate doubts.

It seems Henry has checked out, but did he ever check in with all his negating "buts" in his answers to Pastor Cal?? 😅 The question is, "Do you want this marriage?" Is he really giving it a chance or simply collecting red flags to justify coasting? Whole lotta nuthin

Edited August 31, 2020 by Lindz

[Elizzikra]

Quote

Would be awesome if Brett dropped in here to have a few beers with his bench full of supporters...

Maybe you guys need to upgrade to bleachers?

Quote

Personally I can attest that in her position as a nurse practitioner in a Neurosurgery unit, she is probably making in the $120k range, which makes me side-eye a little her admission that she has accrued debt (let's assume credit card and maybe an expensive car) and that she hasn't considered buying a home. Or for that matter, doesn't live in what looks like an expensive apartment with nice furnishings. 

I can see how she can make $120k and still be in debt. First, she is in a high tax bracket. And she probably has health insurance deducted. I'm guessing she brings home, after taxes, $7,000 a month after that. She has no tax benefit from home ownership. Her rent is what - maybe $2,400 a month. Then let's say about $500/month for a car (assuming a nice car around $50k with nothing down and a 36 month term). Student loans could be another - what? $1,000 a month? Eating out - let's say $50 per meal twice a week - that's another $400/month. I don't think she brown bags it so let's say at least $10/day for lunch in the hospital cafeteria, so another $200/month. Let's give her about $300/month for entertainment, which includes about $100/month for those season tickets to the Saints. Groceries (because even eating out, she has to have some stuff in the house including paper products, etc.) - $200/month. I'm thinking housekeeper so let's say another $400/month ($100/weekly). Cell phone/cable/wifi/ - $100/month. Car insurance - $100/month. Auto (gas, maintenance) - $50 a month? That leaves $1,250 for the cats, travel, clothes, etc. Maybe sounds a lot but it's only about $14,000 annually. One lux two week trip could cost more than that - and I'm sure I'm forgetting/underestimating something. Hopefully she has something taken out of her paycheck toward retirement and I didn't account for that. I can see where Olivia isn't thinking about buying a house - she would have a hard time saving a downpayment on anything she would want to live in, even if she can afford the monthly mortgage payment.

I also couldn't figure out her home. Is it a house (I thought it was) or an apartment? She said the antiques in the home were "from her parent's shop" and I didn't know if she bought them there, her parents gave them to her or they were on some sort of long term loan?

[Empress1]

17 minutes ago, Elizzikra said:

I also couldn't figure out her home. Is it a house (I thought it was) or an apartment? She said the antiques in the home were "from her parent's shop" and I didn't know if she bought them there, her parents gave them to her or they were on some sort of long term loan?

It's a rented house. I assume her furniture was either bought from her parents' store, or they gave it to her out of their inventory.

18 minutes ago, Elizzikra said:

I can see how she can make $120k and still be in debt.

I can too. The issue is that I think if she and Brett were to do a budget and she were to lay out all those items, Brett (and I, frankly) would be like," but you don't need a lot of this," and start slashing. I could cut a grand out of that proposed budget* without working that hard (hell, just moving in with Brett would save her a lot of money, since housing is typically our largest expense), and I still wouldn't be dooming her to a draconian existence. But she would say that all the stuff there is stuff she needs, and he would say it isn't. That's their issue - they have financial priorities that are at odds with each other.

*$50/month on gas and maintenance actually sounds low to me unless one drives something very fuel-efficient or doesn't drive much/often.

[Lindz]

Regarding the Brett & Olivia issue, there were ZERO specifics!!!! We have no idea how much money she has to spend, how much she wants to spend, and how much she wants Brett to spend. They're apparently arguing over hypotheticals & that's just ridiculous. Ruin your retirement Brett? REALLY?? Try to discuss an ACTUAL trip/game, then get mad at the ACTUAL numbers. & Olivia, COME ON! TREAT your husband every now & then since you make so much! His birthday, perfect time to! Just stupidly premature.

[Kira53]

4 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

Maybe you guys need to upgrade to bleachers?

I can see how she can make $120k and still be in debt. First, she is in a high tax bracket. And she probably has health insurance deducted. I'm guessing she brings home, after taxes, $7,000 a month after that. She has no tax benefit from home ownership. Her rent is what - maybe $2,400 a month. Then let's say about $500/month for a car (assuming a nice car around $50k with nothing down and a 36 month term). Student loans could be another - what? $1,000 a month? Eating out - let's say $50 per meal twice a week - that's another $400/month. I don't think she brown bags it so let's say at least $10/day for lunch in the hospital cafeteria, so another $200/month. Let's give her about $300/month for entertainment, which includes about $100/month for those season tickets to the Saints. Groceries (because even eating out, she has to have some stuff in the house including paper products, etc.) - $200/month. I'm thinking housekeeper so let's say another $400/month ($100/weekly). Cell phone/cable/wifi/ - $100/month. Car insurance - $100/month. Auto (gas, maintenance) - $50 a month? That leaves $1,250 for the cats, travel, clothes, etc. Maybe sounds a lot but it's only about $14,000 annually. One lux two week trip could cost more than that - and I'm sure I'm forgetting/underestimating something. Hopefully she has something taken out of her paycheck toward retirement and I didn't account for that. I can see where Olivia isn't thinking about buying a house - she would have a hard time saving a downpayment on anything she would want to live in, even if she can afford the monthly mortgage payment.

I also couldn't figure out her home. Is it a house (I thought it was) or an apartment? She said the antiques in the home were "from her parent's shop" and I didn't know if she bought them there, her parents gave them to her or they were on some sort of long term loan?

She said she eats out daily for dinner, not twice a week.  Add that in...   $200 a month for groceries?  Where's the Starbucks budget?  She likes nice things.  Are nice things in a hospital cafeteria?  Too low on entertainment ($75) a week (includes tickets to the Saints).  And where is the credit card debt repayment?

[Ilovepie]

7 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

Then let's say about $500/month for a car (assuming a nice car around $50k with nothing down and a 36 month term).

A $50,000 vehicle with nothing down and 36 month loan is going to cost more than $500/month. Or do you mean leasing, in which case I have no idea.....

[Yeah No]

On 8/27/2020 at 8:58 PM, Neurochick said:

Interesting.  Though I know a LOT of black women named Karen so WTF?

Back in the day you couldn't swing a dead cat in NYC without hitting a Karen.  I knew black Karens too.  Today it's not a common name for any young woman to have.

On 8/28/2020 at 11:33 AM, Elizzikra said:

I wanted to own my own home from the time I graduated college onward. The advice I got, that I think was really sound, is that you shouldn't buy unless you are planning to stay five years or more. Even when property values go up, you don't really get your money back out of it in less time. But if you are going to put in a good five years or more, it often makes sense to buy for exactly the reasons you note. 

I think that NYC and other high rent areas (like San Francisco) are maybe a little different because the housing costs are so incredibly high and often what you can afford to buy is nothing that you would want to live in. 

 

On 8/28/2020 at 12:06 PM, qtpye said:

This video gives you a good idea of why it is so difficult to buy in NYC.

 

On 8/28/2020 at 6:55 PM, essexjan said:

It depends on where in NYC. Not all of NYC is Manhattan.  A friend of mine bought a co-op apartment just over a year ago, a very large one-bedroom in a really nice neighbourhood in Queens for $220,000. It takes around 30 mins on the subway into Manhattan, or about 20 mins to Penn Station on the LIRR. His mortgage is less than the rent he was paying on his old studio rental (also in Queens, but closer to Manhattan and thus more expensive.)

As a born and bred NY-er who owns her late father's co-op apartment in the Northwest Bronx (until I can sell it) I know that you can't compare real estate in NYC with any other city and you can't even compare Manhattan with any other borough.  Also, the pros and cons of home ownership vs. renting differ depending on the area of the country, the city or area within the city as well.  Aside from some areas like NYC the entire Northeast hasn't seen much increase in equity until very recently despite what news reports kept saying about house values rising.  It also depends on when you bought your home.  Unfortunately my husband and I bought ours just before the housing crash when the recession hit in 2008 so our home wasn't worth what we bought it for for a very long time until very recently.  The pandemic has actually helped drive up housing prices in CT so it has started inching up now.  But believe it or not we haven't seen much increase in equity in all those years.  So Brett's logic works in some areas and at some times, but obviously not in others.

On 8/30/2020 at 7:34 PM, cardigirl said:

Brett's not alone in thinking that renting doesn't build wealth. At the end of your rental contract, you've not built any equity.  You don't get any tax write off for the interest you pay towards your mortgage when you rent, although that feature has been significantly reduced, and you have no control over the space you're living in. Home ownership has always been the traditional path to building wealth. It's not a guarantee, of course, but home ownership has long been considered a sign of success.

Plus, I have a feeling he's been told to play up his home ownership point.  He could have been kinder about Olivia's pink bathroom, but she was pretty non-impressed with his home. 

Well, for years my husband and I (aside from the tax benefits) have been "basically renting" despite owning a home, so as you say, it's not a guarantee and depends on very specific conditions in the area you live in.  Brett's wisdom may work in his area right now but that can change too.  He needs to be more flexible on that, but these people are young and don't get that things like this aren't written in stone and can vary.

Edited September 1, 2020 by Yeah No

[Yeah No]

7 hours ago, Lindz said:

Regarding the Brett & Olivia issue, there were ZERO specifics!!!! We have no idea how much money she has to spend, how much she wants to spend, and how much she wants Brett to spend. They're apparently arguing over hypotheticals & that's just ridiculous. Ruin your retirement Brett? REALLY?? Try to discuss an ACTUAL trip/game, then get mad at the ACTUAL numbers. & Olivia, COME ON! TREAT your husband every now & then since you make so much! His birthday, perfect time to! Just stupidly premature.

I agree with you, they're arguing about hypotheticals.  Plus if like people have said, Brett has a government job I seriously doubt that going out to eat a couple of times a week is going to "ruin his retirement".  I worked in the corporate world and my retirement is pretty decent but even I am envious of the sweet deals that those I know that worked in government get.  So I think he's being overly frugal about this - but then again this ties into the theory I expressed earlier that he's just digging his heels in because she's making it sound like she has such high expectations and extravagant spending habits.  I'm not sure any of that is true but he's reacting as if it is.  Like people have said about the hair discussion between Woody and Amani, I don't think this discussion was really about THIS at all.  It's about Brett feeling like Olivia is emasculating him by making him feel inadequate to satisfy her, and her insinuating that he can't be  "more of a man" and live up to her high expectation of him both financially and otherwise.  And truthfully she hasn't shown any desire to share what she has with him - she only appears to be concerned with what he can or can't give her.  So on this subject I kind of sympathize with him.

[humbleopinion]

One week into this wrong headed marriage it is obvious :

Olivia doesn’t want budget minded Brett and he dismisses her “living life” expenditures as frivolous and wasteful.
Brett doesn’t want to be married to Olivia who sees his pride and joy home as a dump.

Brett has done well by his standards but Olivia wants a life style that doesn’t interest Brett.
Olivia wants to regularly wine and dine, meet with friends for stuff like karaoke , plan ahead for high priced ticket events like concerts, trips, NFL season tickets...

Brett is a homebody. Brett watches his money. Brett proudly lives within his means.

One Fancy dinner out is a whole week’s food budget. A bottle of wine is a 2 weeks supply of protein supplement. Spending thousands of dollars for season football tickets or a couple of hundred for floor  concert tickets 9 months in the future is not in his wheelhouse. He watches the game on teevee and live music is not a priority.
Olivia’s spending will always be a problem In their marriage because she has totally different ideas how money is used and to compromise does not seem possible. She works hard for her money and sees it as hers to spend, rightfully so.
Thinking this bad match will dissolve into sniping attacks and tearful stand offs. 
Gonna be a long 7 weeks with Quarantine making it more emotional for essential worker Olivia.

Edited September 1, 2020 by humbleopinion

[Boo Boo]

10 hours ago, Kira53 said:

She said she eats out daily for dinner, not twice a week.  Add that in...   $200 a month for groceries?  Where's the Starbucks budget?  She likes nice things.  Are nice things in a hospital cafeteria?  Too low on entertainment ($75) a week (includes tickets to the Saints).  And where is the credit card debt repayment?

Going out every day to eat gets expensive, especially since she likes fine wine.  I was about to say maybe she pays for her friend's meals but based on her convos about not wanting to pay for Brett to enjoy the things she does, I'm thinking she's not all that generous with friends.

There are def. a lot of people that make great salaries and spend every cent they get and land in debt.  I'd much rather have someone who lives within his means than someone who outspends their salary.

[gonecrackers]

Olivia said she told them she wanted a husband who would share her love of travel, etc. (Of course they avoided showing any reaction from Cal when she let that truth out of the bag). So they matched her with Mr. Ultra Frugal - he who's only hobbies are gaming & tinkering- basically anything where he doesn't have to spend much money, & coincidentally, are more one-person hobbies she won't be sharing with him. The problem with that narrative is this guy dates, supposedly, a lot. He has to at least be paying his own way there a bit. The show is creating a narrative where one looks cheap & the other, almost financially irresponsible. I believe neither is actually true. I believe what's really happening here are two people again terribly mismatched, realizing the show is fucking with them for ratings, were wanting a real marriage & not to be used for show (boring) drama, so are being understandably surly about the whole ordeal. They should probably come to some kind of behind-the-scenes agreement on how to handle it while being respectful towards each other until they can finally call it quits. Sucks, but, every season someone learns not to trust teevee people with their lives. 🤷‍♀️

[Boo Boo]

1 hour ago, gonecrackers said:

Olivia said she told them she wanted a husband who would share her love of travel, etc. (Of course they avoided showing any reaction from Cal when she let that truth out of the bag). So they matched her with Mr. Ultra Frugal - he who's only hobbies are gaming & tinkering- basically anything where he doesn't have to spend much money, & coincidentally, are more one-person hobbies she won't be sharing with him. The problem with that narrative is this guy dates, supposedly, a lot. He has to at least be paying his own way there a bit. The show is creating a narrative where one looks cheap & the other, almost financially irresponsible. I believe neither is actually true. I believe what's really happening here are two people again terribly mismatched, realizing the show is fucking with them for ratings, were wanting a real marriage & not to be used for show (boring) drama, so are being understandably surly about the whole ordeal. They should probably come to some kind of behind-the-scenes agreement on how to handle it while being respectful towards each other until they can finally call it quits. Sucks, but, every season someone learns not to trust teevee people with their lives. 🤷‍♀️

I agree.  I do not believe both are the extremes portrayed.  That said, I think Olivia was upset over Brett's salary.  If they already had a discussion off-camera about him get certification, then his ambition/lack of ambition is an issue. 

[humbleopinion]

1 hour ago, Boo Boo said:

That said, I think Olivia was upset over Brett's salary. 

We had the same situation with Jess' salary and Austin's low beginning salary since he had changed careers.

Jess believes in Austin and his earning potential.

Olivia spoke of Brett's earning certifications to boost his earning but honestly, she was hoping to be matched with someone with established deep pockets and more like minded with her attitude about spending.

Even if Brett had twice his current salary he would be in more house/better neighborhood, not looking at drop $$$for fancy schmancy food groupie havens.

He never will be on board spending money like Olivia, even if he had a million dollars, it would be invested.

[Neurochick]

3 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

Olivia said she told them she wanted a husband who would share her love of travel, etc. (Of course they avoided showing any reaction from Cal when she let that truth out of the bag). So they matched her with Mr. Ultra Frugal - he who's only hobbies are gaming & tinkering- basically anything where he doesn't have to spend much money, & coincidentally, are more one-person hobbies she won't be sharing with him. The problem with that narrative is this guy dates, supposedly, a lot. He has to at least be paying his own way there a bit. The show is creating a narrative where one looks cheap & the other, almost financially irresponsible. I believe neither is actually true. I believe what's really happening here are two people again terribly mismatched, realizing the show is fucking with them for ratings, were wanting a real marriage & not to be used for show (boring) drama, so are being understandably surly about the whole ordeal. They should probably come to some kind of behind-the-scenes agreement on how to handle it while being respectful towards each other until they can finally call it quits. Sucks, but, every season someone learns not to trust teevee people with their lives. 🤷‍♀️

There is something I don't understand.  This show has been on many seasons, this is the eleventh.  This is a reality show.  Reality shows are about ratings.  Most of the couples on this series have not stayed together.  I guess I don't understand why anybody goes on this show with the intention of finding true love, when the purpose of a reality TV show, or any TV show is to get ratings.  Ratings = sponsors shelling out more money to the network and producers so they can produce more seasons.  

Just my two cents.

[Empress1]

11 hours ago, Yeah No said:

Back in the day you couldn't swing a dead cat in NYC without hitting a Karen.  I knew black Karens too.  Today it's not a common name for any young woman to have.

I have a cousin (Black, as am I) named Karen. My friend (non-Black POC) is named Karen and she's my age (older millennial). 

3 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

The show is creating a narrative where one looks cheap & the other, almost financially irresponsible. I believe neither is actually true. I believe what's really happening here are two people again terribly mismatched

Agree. The "he never goes out!" thing (which I don't think he's ever actually said - he's just said he can't afford to travel as much as Olivia does) doesn't match up with the "I was on a date right before I got matched" thing, and I think the moniker the show gave him before he was married was "serial dater." I think he's a guy who lives within his means, which isn't the same as being cheap. All we know about Olivia is that she makes a good living and has debt, which to me suggests that her financial priorities need a little adjusting (which she knows, hence her asking Brett for help with a budget), but for all I know it could be medical debt.

[Boo Boo]

1 hour ago, Neurochick said:

There is something I don't understand.  This show has been on many seasons, this is the eleventh.  This is a reality show.  Reality shows are about ratings.  Most of the couples on this series have not stayed together.  I guess I don't understand why anybody goes on this show with the intention of finding true love, when the purpose of a reality TV show, or any TV show is to get ratings.  Ratings = sponsors shelling out more money to the network and producers so they can produce more seasons.  

Just my two cents.

Exactly.

Olivia fan girled over Pastor Cal.  She's clearly watched the show.  Anyone who has watched the show, knows that mismatches is part of the drama.  

 

[gonecrackers]

3 hours ago, Boo Boo said:

I agree.  I do not believe both are the extremes portrayed.  That said, I think Olivia was upset over Brett's salary.  If they already had a discussion off-camera about him get certification, then his ambition/lack of ambition is an issue. 

The one time she seemed positive about Brett was when mentioning him going for more training, etc, I guess in hopes he would make more money, but...

2 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

Olivia spoke of Brett's earning certifications to boost his earning but honestly, she was hoping to be matched with someone with established deep pockets and more like minded with her attitude about spending.

^this here is what I believe she had really wanted (she pretty much said it).

1 hour ago, Neurochick said:

There is something I don't understand.  This show has been on many seasons, this is the eleventh.  This is a reality show.  Reality shows are about ratings.  Most of the couples on this series have not stayed together.  I guess I don't understand why anybody goes on this show with the intention of finding true love, when the purpose of a reality TV show, or any TV show is to get ratings.  Ratings = sponsors shelling out more money to the network and producers so they can produce more seasons.  

 

48 minutes ago, Boo Boo said:

Olivia fan girled over Pastor Cal.  She's clearly watched the show.  Anyone who has watched the show, knows that mismatches is part of the drama.  

You'd think. These two don't seem like attention whores to me though, so why bother with the show... seems like Brett, with all his dating, could've found someone on his own. I think he did it on a dare by his idiot brothers. As for Olivia having watched the show & now obviously being disappointed, she should've known better.  I really don't know what motives were there, except maybe she very naively thought they wouldn't do her bad.

1 hour ago, Empress1 said:

All we know about Olivia is that she makes a good living and has debt, which to me suggests that her financial priorities need a little adjusting (which she knows, hence her asking Brett for help with a budget), but for all I know it could be medical debt.

Or student loans, which has been mentioned before here.

[humbleopinion]

2 hours ago, Neurochick said:

 I guess I don't understand why anybody goes on this show with the intention of finding true love, when the purpose of a reality TV show, or any TV show is to get ratings. 

Just my two cents.

Here comes the cliche train..

Hope springs eternal.

Beating the long odds.

You can't win unless you play.

If them, why not me?

Olivia stated her role models for the show were Shawniece and Jephte...because like Andy Dufresne in Shawshank they had to dig teaspoon by teaspoon through the walls, crawl a mile through shit and come out the other end....

However, Liv is conveniently forgetting that Baby Laura is the gorilla glue keeping them together.

Edited September 1, 2020 by humbleopinion

[Empress1]

8 minutes ago, humbleopinion said:

Here comes the cliche train..

Hope springs eternal.

Beating the long odds.

You can't win unless you play.

If them, why not me?

Yeah. And honestly? Dating is trash. Like, I wouldn't do this show, but I can see how someone could be like, "I've been on all the apps, I've been on dates with friends of friends, I've joined hobby clubs, etc. etc. etc. ... fuck it, I might as well let some TV producers set me up" (assuming you don't mind being on TV). Most of these couples haven't worked out but a few of them have, and maybe you'll be the one that does - especially if you go into it with an attitude like Philly Stephanie had, like "I want to be married more than I want to be single, so as long as he's not actively harming me or others, I can make this work."

Like, Karen's ex, who she ostensibly met in a more traditional way, had a baby with someone else while they were together. That's probably a worse outcome than she'll have going on this show (especially if she loosens up and opens up to Miles).

I've said this before: I think the producers pick the pool of applicants and the experts come in after that to do the matching, and I think Pastor Cal is the expert who is the least concerned about the TV show aspect. He's the one who has pointed out fundamental incompatibilities (e.g. Olivia not wanting kids and Brett wanting them, which is and should be a deal-breaker) and said he doesn't want to put those people together.

[humbleopinion]

Olivia's Team...getting lonely on your antique settee? I have a hunch you may be getting company after this week's episode...

Brett's Bench...we are going to have to sit on each other's lap to have room....I call top...I hope that hard vibrating thing is your phone

[Ilovepie]

2 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

These two don't seem like attention whores to me though, so why bother with the show... seems like Brett, with all his dating, could've found someone on his own.

Or, more likely, he was recruited by the producers from one of his myriad dating apps. You know they have recruited extensively the last few seasons, and most of those were from dating apps.

[gonecrackers]

30 minutes ago, Ilovepie said:

Or, more likely, he was recruited by the producers from one of his myriad dating apps. You know they have recruited extensively the last few seasons, and most of those were from dating apps.

You're right, that's very likely!

[humbleopinion]

14 minutes ago, Ilovepie said:

Or, more likely, he was recruited by the producers from one of his myriad dating apps. You know they have recruited extensively the last few seasons, and most of those were from dating apps.

Agreed.

Brett was recruited through his self professed presence on multiple, multiple apps, online dating and Perhaps referrals from other online serial daters....thinking PennySaver ads, gym bulletin boards and women bathroom stalls....
Bennett was a recruit through a friend’s casting agent.

Henry....am flummoxed to guess the how and why you are on this show...

If MAFS wanted to cast a shy guy...then why match him with a ball buster with an over inflated sense of self.

A Kate (Puke’s ex) would have been more the type...

Henry and Christi-NA  are like matching 2 left shoes...one a high heel, the other a Tod’s driving shoe...it will never be right..

 

 

[Hangin Out]

On 8/31/2020 at 6:42 AM, Lindz said:

It seems Henry has checked out, but did he ever check in with all his negating "buts" in his answers to Pastor Cal?? 😅 The question is, "Do you want this marriage?" Is he really giving it a chance or simply collecting red flags to justify coasting? Whole lotta nuthin

At this point, I think he’s scared to death to have sex.  First of all, there’s no fun between them.  Everything is forced.  They are talking politely like strangers.  They both need to loosen up, laugh, and have some fun.  Brett is obsessed with money.  Forget about vacations.  He’ll be counting pennies.  That seems like No. 1 on her list.  I don’t think they go together at all.  

Edited September 1, 2020 by Silver Bells

[Kiss my mutt]

Do you think it would make a difference if Brett were the major earner and said he wouldn’t cover any trips, dinners or ball games for the two of them? I know it’s a double standard but I could see Pastor Cal giving major side eye if Brett were the one like this. I think if they were crazy in love and had mutual respect they could compromise but neither of them trust the other so I can see why they are guarded with their money particularly since they have different approaches to  management and  have one foot out the door already. 
 

 

[Elizzikra]

Quote

Olivia spoke of Brett's earning certifications to boost his earning but honestly, she was hoping to be matched with someone with established deep pockets and more like minded with her attitude about spending.

I know that some of the people on this show have had good incomes but have any of the men ever really had deep pockets? I know some have done pretty well for themselves and had nice homes (as I pop a lasagna in Greg's top oven and some cupcakes in the bottom one), but I can't think of anyone who really stood out as being a particularly high wage earner. I never got the reading that Olivia was looking for something of a sugar daddy though I definitely think she wanted someone who earned at least as much as she did - but was it even remotely realistic for her to hope for deeper-than-middle-class-pockets?

[humbleopinion]

Imagine if the couples were given a lump sum stipend to pay for their honeymoon meals and activities instead of Xcaret's all inclusive price....

Brett: Let's split the lump sum into 2 so you can spend as you wish and I can also...

Olivia: It doesn't matter if I spend a bit over my half...right?

Brett: If I give you your half then I don't have to police your spending....

Olivia: What if I run out of money before the end of the stay...won't you just cover my over spending with your resort money?

Brett: How is that fair?

Olivia: You are my husband and you'll cut down your spending to take care of me if I want to eat and drink what I wish...

Brett: How about you watch your spending so you are within your means?

Olivia: Don't you want me to have a good time?

Brett: Don't you want me to have a good time?

 

Edited September 2, 2020 by humbleopinion

[humbleopinion]

5 minutes ago, Elizzikra said:

I know that some of the people on this show have had good incomes but have any of the men ever really had deep pockets? I know some have done pretty well for themselves and had nice homes (as I pop a lasagna in Greg's top oven and some cupcakes in the bottom one), but I can't think of anyone who really stood out as being a particularly high wage earner.

I was thinking which past grooms seem to have a comfortable financial situation and same kind of "living life" attitude...3 come to mind

Dallas Dave-owned his own place,  never complained about their 1-2 bottles of wine/night habit, planned that Cinderella cage ride and dinner for Amber even though her perfume gassed him in the open carriage...

Dr. Jessica's Jon had a good paying finance job before he quit to join the cast of MAFS, liked to travel for sporty adventures, he is a winer and diner type...

AJ owns his place, traveled with SexyAF multiple trips in their first year of wedded bliss, they booze it up regularly....

[Kira53]

9 hours ago, Empress1 said:

I've said this before: I think the producers pick the pool of applicants and the experts come in after that to do the matching, and I think Pastor Cal is the expert who is the least concerned about the TV show aspect. He's the one who has pointed out fundamental incompatibilities (e.g. Olivia not wanting kids and Brett wanting them, which is and should be a deal-breaker) and said he doesn't want to put those people together.

I think Pastor Cal is the one that knows the most about it being a TV show he just hides it a lot better than the others.  The experts have particular jobs of objecting to matches so that there can be a sense of controversy and the audience can begin to take sides on what will work and what won't. I don't think Pastor Cal has a second show from the franchise if he doesn't have an eye to production.  He came up with an excuse that Amanda and Bennett wouldn't work out when they had such clear compatibility factors. He made up the excuse that Bennett didn't really have his career and stuff together.  He ignored that Amelia wanted to be the breadwinner and so she would really have no concern about Bennett not wanting to out earn in her.  He may also have been bringing up whether Bennett would want to move.  For a non-traditional, creative type man Bennett has hit the jackpot; He even said he couldn't believe that he would ever be marrying the homecoming queen or whatever kind of clean she was. And Amelia has also hit the jackpot; just the kind of quirky guy that will support her emotionally and intellectually.  They have no kids so I'm sure he could've been planning to drive back for anything with this theater company but with Covid he won't even need to do that because people are not going to the theater. He can spend his time writing great plays or other things that could be performed at a later date.  Kismet!

Dr. Pepper used to be kind of the lead expert but Pastor Cal has taken over that position. Do you know that he is the host of the married at first sight honeymoon edition?  He seems pretty expert at being a TV host without the specific credentials that you would expect him to have as the expert for two shows. He knows what to say and he knows what production wants him to say. I think he's excellent at what he does.  But I don't agree that he's unconcerned about TV production. Three years from now he'll probably be a producer on some kind of reality show.  Pastor Cal has even gotten himself into the position of making the more important objections like Olivia and Brett which will create more credibility for him just as you see him as more credible because of that objection.When you have a reality show and there are experts or judges those experts or judges really have to go along with what production wants the narrative to be. I've had tryouts as an expert for some reality shows and also holes to try out.  Initially I went in more naïve, then somewhat eager to please, and the last call I was like, "no it's not a documentary you're calling me about, it's a reality show. Is it "Snapped'?  It actually was "Snapped."  Too trashy for me but it would have been easy to crate the sound bites they needed.  I might have even believed the sound bites.

Edited September 2, 2020 by Kira53
I don't remember to proofread.

[Yeah No]

38 minutes ago, Kira53 said:

I think Pastor Cal is the one that knows the most about it being a TV show he just hides it a lot better than the others.  The experts have particular jobs of objecting to matches so that there can be a sense of controversy and the audience can begin to take sides on what will work and what won't. I don't think Pastor Cal has a second show from the franchise if he doesn't have an eye to production.  He came up with an excuse that Amanda and Bennett wouldn't work out when they had such clear compatibility factors. He made up the excuse that Bennett didn't really have his career and stuff together.  He ignored that Amelia wanted to be the breadwinner and so she would really have no concern about Bennett not wanting to out earn in her.  He may also have been bringing up whether Bennett would want to move.

I agree completely!  Pastor Cal only wants to make it look like he's 100% authentic when in reality he's as much a shill for the show as any of them.  He has crafted his own narrative in order to increase his credibility with the audience but then he also makes lame and obvious (to me, anyway) excuses to "justify" the horrid producer decisions that he and the other "experts" have been forced to accept.  And then he'll go and play-act a role as devil's advocate on clearly good matches like Bennett and Amelia just to make it LOOK like they really are making the decisions.  And that's whether or not the producers actually pick the matches themselves or give the experts a very small pool of hopefuls from which to match.  He's a TV personality first and whatever he's supposed to be playing second.  Or maybe even third.

[TheMediumBopper]

8 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

 

 

 

Whoops. The right post is below. Wish we could delete our own posts here...

Edited September 2, 2020 by TheMediumBopper

[TheMediumBopper]

8 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

Henry....am flummoxed to guess the how and why you are on this show...

If MAFS wanted to cast a shy guy...then why match him with a ball buster with an over inflated sense of self.

A Kate (Puke’s ex) would have been more the type...

 

 

 

Henry's friends got tired of him moping around datelessly, so they drugged him and brainwashed him and brought him on to the show where he's now being held hostage and kept in a constant stupor, enlivened only by the occasional twitch. That's my theory, anyway. Somebody needs to rescue that boy!

I posted a couple weeks ago that I would have loved Henry with Kate. She's so warm yet low-key, and I think he would have really liked her. I wish they could sometimes recycle past contestants who got set up with gay men... er, I mean, ended up with a match that wasn't right for them.

Edited September 2, 2020 by TheMediumBopper

[Neurochick]

10 hours ago, Yeah No said:

I agree completely!  Pastor Cal only wants to make it look like he's 100% authentic when in reality he's as much a shill for the show as any of them.  He has crafted his own narrative in order to increase his credibility with the audience but then he also makes lame and obvious (to me, anyway) excuses to "justify" the horrid producer decisions that he and the other "experts" have been forced to accept.  And then he'll go and play-act a role as devil's advocate on clearly good matches like Bennett and Amelia just to make it LOOK like they really are making the decisions.  And that's whether or not the producers actually pick the matches themselves or give the experts a very small pool of hopefuls from which to match.  He's a TV personality first and whatever he's supposed to be playing second.  Or maybe even third.

I agree, but let's all say it together:  IT'S A SHOW, and a show is all about ratings and the more drama, the higher the ratings.

[Kiss my mutt]

It’s turning into the Pastor Cal show up to now. Maybe Dr. P and sex therapist lady will be on later episodes? 
Henry and Kate would have been perfect for each other unless she has a thing for “bad boys”. I would love to see a MAFS: Second time around version with past cast members set up together. 
 

[Elizzikra]

13 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

I was thinking which past grooms seem to have a comfortable financial situation and same kind of "living life" attitude...3 come to mind

Dallas Dave-owned his own place,  never complained about their 1-2 bottles of wine/night habit, planned that Cinderella cage ride and dinner for Amber even though her perfume gassed him in the open carriage...

Dr. Jessica's Jon had a good paying finance job before he quit to join the cast of MAFS, liked to travel for sporty adventures, he is a winer and diner type...

AJ owns his place, traveled with SexyAF multiple trips in their first year of wedded bliss, they booze it up regularly....

Thanks! I saw AJ's season but not the other two...

[cinsays]

34 minutes ago, Kiss my mutt said:

It’s turning into the Pastor Cal show up to now. Maybe Dr. P and sex therapist lady will be on later episodes? 
Henry and Kate would have been perfect for each other unless she has a thing for “bad boys”. I would love to see a MAFS: Second time around version with past cast members set up together. 
 

maybe they need to let the viewers vote on who to match - we could do as good a job as these "experts"

[Boo Boo]

14 hours ago, Kiss my mutt said:

Do you think it would make a difference if Brett were the major earner and said he wouldn’t cover any trips, dinners or ball games for the two of them? I know it’s a double standard but I could see Pastor Cal giving major side eye if Brett were the one like this. I think if they were crazy in love and had mutual respect they could compromise but neither of them trust the other so I can see why they are guarded with their money particularly since they have different approaches to  management and  have one foot out the door already. 
 

 

Yes, absolutely.  I said this on the other threads BEFORE she made that comment this episode.  I get this is a reality show, so I would also not want to foot someone's bills b/c "experts" paired us.  Maybe if Olivia met someone in real life, fell in love, got married and she was the breadwinner it's my money is your money.  And if this was her going in ask, maybe she got tired of scrub boyfriends.

But, putting all of that aside, if it was a man who cringed at the wife's earning power and wanted to go dutch, I'm sure he would not be viewed positively here.

Edited September 2, 2020 by Boo Boo

[humbleopinion]

1 hour ago, Elizzikra said:

Thanks! I saw AJ's season but not the other two...

You would enjoy Season 7's Dallas cast...Ricky Bobby in his purest /Danielle brows in full bloom, Tristan in his headboardless bed wrapped in his brown blanket, wife, Mia who was arrested at DFW for an outstanding warrant for credit card fraud and processed at the Tarrant County pokey when she tried to board their flight for the honeymoon and Dave/Amber, who coincidentally were members of the same gym  with Amber "knowing" in the biblical sense, one of Dave's workout buddies....Snarkily delightful....

[Boo Boo]

1 hour ago, humbleopinion said:

You would enjoy Season 7's Dallas cast...Ricky Bobby in his purest /Danielle brows in full bloom, Tristan in his headboardless bed wrapped in his brown blanket, wife, Mia who was arrested at DFW for an outstanding warrant for credit card fraud and processed at the Tarrant County pokey when she tried to board their flight for the honeymoon and Dave/Amber, who coincidentally were members of the same gym  with Amber "knowing" in the biblical sense, one of Dave's workout buddies....Snarkily delightful....

YES!

Danielle's eyebrows were so horrible.  I'm glad she saw the light.  I think a lot of women need to see the light with the badly penciled in eyebrows.

This photo doesn't even really show how bad they were in general though.  

[Ilovepie]

16 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

I was thinking which past grooms seem to have a comfortable financial situation and same kind of "living life" attitude...3 come to mind

Dallas Dave-owned his own place,  never complained about their 1-2 bottles of wine/night habit, planned that Cinderella cage ride and dinner for Amber even though her perfume gassed him in the open carriage...

Dr. Jessica's Jon had a good paying finance job before he quit to join the cast of MAFS, liked to travel for sporty adventures, he is a winer and diner type...

AJ owns his place, traveled with SexyAF multiple trips in their first year of wedded bliss, they booze it up regularly....

What about David the other half of Ashley? That was back when they had to budget and find a place to live within their budgets before the show paid for an apartment for them. David kicked in for that sweet house they rented while Ashley was a broke college student........

Ricky Bobby also seemed to do pretty good for himself as well. He also owned his own home and is supporting Danielle's SAHM dreams........

[humbleopinion]

35 minutes ago, Boo Boo said:

YES!

Danielle's eyebrows were so horrible.  I'm glad she saw the light.  I think a lot of women need to see the light with the badly penciled in eyebrows.

This photo doesn't even really show how bad they were in general though.  

Danielle used to drive from Dallas to Austin where her browmeister did this for $$$$. Bobby was flummoxed...

[qtpye]

23 hours ago, Ilovepie said:

Or, more likely, he was recruited by the producers from one of his myriad dating apps. You know they have recruited extensively the last few seasons, and most of those were from dating apps.

I imagine that it really stroked Brett's ego to be recruited. Plus the supposed 25k the show pays (never been confirmed) would melt his frugal loving heart. He probably is not too worried about the divorce and came into this knowing it would be very likely that he would be divorced. He probably just shrugged it off as an inconvenience and then he can go back to his serial dating. Perhaps look up the wonderful woman he when out on two dates with before he came on the show.

14 hours ago, TheMediumBopper said:

Henry's friends got tired of him moping around datelessly, so they drugged him and brainwashed him and brought him on to the show where he's now being held hostage and kept in a constant stupor, enlivened only by the occasional twitch. That's my theory, anyway. Somebody needs to rescue that boy!

I posted a couple weeks ago that I would have loved Henry with Kate. She's so warm yet low-key, and I think he would have really liked her. I wish they could sometimes recycle past contestants who got set up with gay men... er, I mean, ended up with a match that wasn't right for them.

There are many women who have good platonic relationship with guys. However, I feel that Henry's friends treat him like a eunuch.  He has the pleasure of  escorting and probably paying for a bevy of beauties (at least in their opinion) around town, with the hopes of one of them maybe one day thinking he is boyfriend material. Instead, he gets to witness other guys hit on them and eventually marry them (Trashelle from the Real World). He is getting sick of this and they want to hook him up with someone really quickly so he stays compliant. He has no charm, so they pushed him to do this show. I noticed how some of them were nice to Christina's face but snarked on her to camera behind her back...wondering what type of desperate woman would sign up to do this.

4 hours ago, Kiss my mutt said:

It’s turning into the Pastor Cal show up to now. Maybe Dr. P and sex therapist lady will be on later episodes? 
Henry and Kate would have been perfect for each other unless she has a thing for “bad boys”. I would love to see a MAFS: Second time around version with past cast members set up together. 
 

The only problems that I foresee is that Kate was very physically attracted to Luke. She likes the scruffy hipster types. Henry has a more clean cut preppy vibe. Also, even though Kate has a rocking bod, she might be a tad too voluptuous for Henry. Looking at his friends, he probably prefers the petite and slim types as opposed to petite and curvy.

3 hours ago, cinsays said:

maybe they need to let the viewers vote on who to match - we could do as good a job as these "experts"

The only successful winner of The Next Food Network Star was in the first season when the viewers were allowed to pick. Sadly, this is how Guy Fieri was unleashed on the world.  Later, they were all picked by judges Kermit and Medusa...which lead to an army of duds. 

2 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

You would enjoy Season 7's Dallas cast...Ricky Bobby in his purest /Danielle brows in full bloom, Tristan in his headboardless bed wrapped in his brown blanket, wife, Mia who was arrested at DFW for an outstanding warrant for credit card fraud and processed at the Tarrant County pokey when she tried to board their flight for the honeymoon and Dave/Amber, who coincidentally were members of the same gym  with Amber "knowing" in the biblical sense, one of Dave's workout buddies....Snarkily delightful....

I miss the days when I loved wholesome little Ricky Bobby with his home of a million antlers (like Gaston on Beauty and the Beast).  He has said some things on Social Media are truly disappointing, but to each their own I guess. Look at the spoiler/media section if you want to know what he said.

Edited September 2, 2020 by qtpye

[humbleopinion]

16 minutes ago, Ilovepie said:

What about David the other half of Ashley?

David was made a chump by Moustachely who just wanted to be on MAFS to prove to her ex that she could get on teevee... then she spent her time in the library studying.

When David was showcased in the Second Chances show, he rebuffed Tara and Isobella so he wasted everyone's time.

He had the $$$ but was hated mightily in his 2 seasons.

[princelina]

On 9/1/2020 at 12:26 PM, Neurochick said:

There is something I don't understand.  This show has been on many seasons, this is the eleventh.  This is a reality show.  Reality shows are about ratings.  Most of the couples on this series have not stayed together.  I guess I don't understand why anybody goes on this show with the intention of finding true love, when the purpose of a reality TV show, or any TV show is to get ratings.  Ratings = sponsors shelling out more money to the network and producers so they can produce more seasons.  

In the SM/spoiler thread there is an article about Amelia - not a spoiler so I will paraphrase here:  she said she did this for a fun experience and if she fell in love it would be great and if not she'd get a divorce.  (not a DIVORCE!!!! 😄 ). If it were me I'd have the same attitude, and a lot of them probably start out that way.  But I can see where getting caught up in the excitement of talking about it with everyone, getting the dress/tux, etc. could build up expectations, especially if you then liked the look of the spouse, so that it would be a letdown in the end.

17 hours ago, Kiss my mutt said:

Do you think it would make a difference if Brett were the major earner and said he wouldn’t cover any trips, dinners or ball games for the two of them? I know it’s a double standard but I could see Pastor Cal giving major side eye if Brett were the one like this. I think if they were crazy in love and had mutual respect they could compromise but neither of them trust the other so I can see why they are guarded with their money particularly since they have different approaches to  management and  have one foot out the door already. 

Yes - I think it would make him look like Olivia looks now - like he wants things his way but not enough to share what he has.

1 minute ago, humbleopinion said:

David was made a chump by Moustachely who just wanted to be on MAFS to prove to her ex that she could get on teevee... then she spent her time in the library studying.

When David was showcased in the Second Chances show, he rebuffed Tara and Isobella so he wasted everyone's time.

He had the $$$ but was hated mightily in his 2 seasons.

I don't remember him being hated until his second season 😄   I didn't even hate him then, I just thought he was a nerdy guy and being "The Bachelor" went to his head!

[humbleopinion]

7 minutes ago, qtpye said:

I miss the days when I loved wholesome little Ricky Bobby would his home of a million antlers (like Gaston on Beauty and the Beast).  

His mounted antlered deer heads study needed a wagon wheel coffee table like from Harry Met Sally. Cue the Clip...

https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/d63eeec8-9590-40fb-af4d-78ef4c0c6283

[humbleopinion]

11 minutes ago, princelina said:

I don't remember him being hated until his second season 😄   I didn't even hate him then, I just thought he was a nerdy guy and being "The Bachelor" went to his head!

That is true, Moustachely got the villainess edit and he got the Mr. Lonely Can't Make a Connection Because She's Never Home..*sob*

The Second Chances Show he got a big head over the dozen ladies wanting him, the introduction pool party was ghastly

A year ago he and Molly(Jon's ex) posted a picture of themselves at Disneyland. gag.....

Edited September 2, 2020 by humbleopinion

[qtpye]

26 minutes ago, humbleopinion said:

That is true, Moustachely got the villainess edit and he got the Mr. Lonely Can't Make a Connection Because She's Never Home..*sob*

The Second Chances Show he got a big head over the dozen ladies wanting him, the introduction pool party was ghastly

A year ago he and Molly(Jon's ex) posted a picture of themselves at Disneyland. gag.....

 Sweet nerdy Neil, who was on his same Atlanta season, also hates him. He said David tried to get with a girl that he was involved with.

[Ilovepie]

44 minutes ago, humbleopinion said:

David was made a chump by Moustachely who just wanted to be on MAFS to prove to her ex that she could get on teevee... then she spent her time in the library studying.

When David was showcased in the Second Chances show, he rebuffed Tara and Isobella so he wasted everyone's time.

He had the $$$ but was hated mightily in his 2 seasons.

I am well aware of all these things, but my point was that he had money, not that he was a decent human being 😛