S02.E13: Sticks And Stones

[magemaud]

19 minutes ago, MrBuhBye said:

Maybe he was buried upside down.  Anything is possible at Notre Dame.

Yes! Like the St. Joseph statue you bury upside down in the yard when you want to sell your house! Supposedly, this motivates St. Joe to sell it faster. 

[mamadrama]

5 hours ago, Kid said:

What’s Brittany’s excuse for having no respect for Yazan’s culture?

In my opinion, the problem is not race - it is ignorance and, for two of them, the lack of birth control.  None of these women bothered to learn anything about the culture into which they were moving.

 

Agree.

I'm getting tired of ALL the women throwing hissy fits and declaring "I'm American!" whenever something doesn't go their way or they don't like something. Angela, Rebecca, Brittany, BGL, Ari, Family Libby, Elicia... when you're in another country you're under THEIR rules and being American counts for very little. Not even the American embassy is gonna step in and help you in most cases. You're there under their culture. Yours count for very little. If you want a pleasant experience then you learn to adapt the best you can. If you don't then, at best, you'll have a miserable time. At worst you'll wind up arrested or dead. When a local advises you not to wear or do a certain thing it may not be explicitly because they're being controlling or jealous...

In my experience these are the same people who, when confronted with something that a foreign visitor is doing that they don't like, will be the first to say, "You can't act like that or do that, you're in America!"

[Mrs. Hanson]

3 hours ago, monagatuna said:

One thing I'm curious about, though: if the narrative is that Kenny supposedly comes from a progressive area and is out and proud, and can't get used to being stuffed back in the closet in his little Mexican hamlet, okay, I can see why that would be the story. Then why have the segment where he goes back to the 80s and remembers losing friends and fearing for his safety upon coming out?

Plus did he say he first went to a gay club in Ohio or was it Florida?  Either way, coming out in small town Ohio could not have been easy; I wish he would remember those days and slow his roll with Armando.

[Kid]

1 hour ago, mamadrama said:

Agree.

I'm getting tired of ALL the women throwing hissy fits and declaring "I'm American!" whenever something doesn't go their way or they don't like something. Angela, Rebecca, Brittany, BGL, Ari, Family Libby, Elicia... when you're in another country you're under THEIR rules and being American counts for very little. Not even the American embassy is gonna step in and help you in most cases. You're there under their culture. Yours count for very little. If you want a pleasant experience then you learn to adapt the best you can. If you don't then, at best, you'll have a miserable time. At worst you'll wind up arrested or dead. When a local advises you not to wear or do a certain thing it may not be explicitly because they're being controlling or jealous...

In my experience these are the same people who, when confronted with something that a foreign visitor is doing that they don't like, will be the first to say, "You can't act like that or do that, you're in America!"

Testify, Sister!!

[Mom2twoNonna2-3]

15 hours ago, AZChristian said:

I was doing a voice-generated search on my phone for a recipe for pineapple upside-down cake the other day, and the TV was on.  My search box said I was looking for "Regis Philbin pineapple upside-down cake."  LOL.

Been making them for years and just learned  (on google) an easy way to melt the butter and brown sugar. I always make one August 3 in honor of my grandfather, who in 88 years of life only had one kind of birthday cake.

[ErikaAlyson]

On 8/25/2020 at 5:52 PM, Squee Bastard said:

It makes her even more unattractive than she already is.

So hateful smh lol sick

On 8/25/2020 at 6:05 PM, RealReality said:

I'm not even ten minutes in and Devan had managed to be miserable, lazy and insulting.  

JFC girl, THIS is maybe why people don't like you.  And no, cooking with other jihoon isn't like cooking with your crazy ass mom.  

Deavan is a very pretty young woman but her attitude is horrible.

[ErikaAlyson]

On 8/27/2020 at 8:03 PM, mightysparrow said:

I just started watching this show a little while ago, so I don't know all the players and storylines.  But I have to say I think Deavan and Ari thought that the simple fact that they were White women moving to non-White countries would be enough to make them royalty and be treated as such.  I think both women are surprised that the people of South Korea and Ethiopia need someone to be more than just a White girl to be impressed.  Without a red carpet being constantly rolled out for them, they are realizing that they're going to have to live like the 'locals' and that doesn't sit too well with them.  As for Brittany, I think she thought that being American was enough.

When I first started watching, I despised Jihoon.  I never liked Deavan (and that child!) but I could barely stand to watch Jihoon.   I'm actually starting to feel a bit of sympathy for Jihoon which just shows how horrible Deavan, her mother and her daughter are.  Jihoon is who he is.  Weak, spoiled and in way over his head.  Did he ever pretend to be anything else?  I didn't like his mother but now I realize she's the only one who knows what's up.  She realizes it's a shitshow and she's just counting the days when she gets to drive Deavan and Druscilla to the airport for the last time.  And Daddy Jihoon just keeps his mouth shut and hangs on to his beautiful grandbaby.

Like Kenny, I remember the plague years and I can't believe that these people are having unprotected sex with men they barely know.  Did I just miss the newsflash about HIV (not to mention other STDs) disappearing?  Using a child as a way to hang on to someone is the lowest thing a person can do.  If the man/woman doesn't want you for YOU, a child isn't going to make a difference.  It just means that there will be three miserable people, instead of two.

As far as I'm concerned, I hope Ari DOES have her baby in Ethiopia.  It would serve her right for choosing a man based on muscles and dreadlocks.  She had a meltdown the second she was left alone with Bini.  The only people I feel an ounce of pity for are the poor children being brought into such horrible situations.

And don't get me started on Jenny and Summit!

I wish I could like your post a thousand times. Jihoon’s poor parents. I feel sorry they have to deal with Devan and her mama.

[ErikaAlyson]

19 hours ago, mightysparrow said:

I said what I thought Brittany's excuse was in my original comment.  Brittany clearly thought that being AMERICAN (and having a big ass) was all she needed to become Queen of Jordan.  Not to mention the fact that whenever she's with Yazan, she looks like a cat playing with a mouse.  She enjoys the game.

Lol poor innocent Yazan. Aren’t they in the same age group? Yazan is no little boy. He can take care of himself.

[RealReality]

34 minutes ago, ErikaOnline said:

I wish I could like your post a thousand times. Jihoon’s poor parents. I feel sorry they have to deal with Devan and her mama.

LOL, I always get the impression that both Devan and Jihoon's parents are trying to offload some damaged goods.  Like that used car salesman who is REALLY trying to get you into that car that smells like mold.  

Neither one of them is a prize.  I think Jihoon realizes it, and while Devan talks a good game, I think she has to know that she doesn't bring much to the table either.  

Elicia (Devan's mom) can yell all she wants, but she has not taken any REAL proactive steps to take Devan, Drascilla and Taeyang back with her, even though apparently Jihoon is going to somehow kill Drascilla.  It seems clear to me that she and her husband do not want Devan and her kids back.  She can make a few obligatory protests about how she is going to take them back, but I think thats for show.

Jihoon's mom seemed disappointed when he came back and she seems to constantly push for Devan to just take him away so he isn't her responsibility anymore.  She seems to think that Devan is going to give her the responsible adult son she wants but doesn't have.  But I don't think thats how it works, especially for men around 30.  Not saying that he has to have a house and a 401k.  But a 30 year old man shouldn't have to give hi money to his mother for safekeeping so he doesn't spend it on magic beans or going out with friends.  Jihoon may be better suited to be the son who stays and helps care for his parents as they age.  

Does anyone know if Jihoon had a girlfriend prior to Devan?  I'd be interested in knowing how or why that ended.  

 

 

Edited August 29, 2020 by RealReality

[RealReality]

On 8/26/2020 at 5:49 PM, magemaud said:

Don’t they make dreadlocks that attach to your own hair like extensions? I thought real dreadlocks take YEARS to grow and I don’t think someone would just cut them off after going to all that trouble. 

I didn't think it was possible, but it is!

https://blacknaps.org/what-you-need-to-know-about-synthetic-dreadlock-extensions/#:~:text=Synthetic dreadlock extensions are very,almost like your natural hair.

Dreds take years and years to grow, but I believe for some people the whole process, the growth and the cutting....have a spiritual component.  

[ErikaAlyson]

2 hours ago, RealReality said:

LOL, I always get the impression that both Devan and Jihoon's parents are trying to offload some damaged goods.  Like that used car salesman who is REALLY trying to get you into that car that smells like mold.  

Neither one of them is a prize.  I think Jihoon realizes it, and while Devan talks a good game, I think she has to know that she doesn't bring much to the table either.  

Elicia (Devan's mom) can yell all she wants, but she has not taken any REAL proactive steps to take Devan, Drascilla and Taeyang back with her, even though apparently Jihoon is going to somehow kill Drascilla.  It seems clear to me that she and her husband do not want Devan and her kids back.  She can make a few obligatory protests about how she is going to take them back, but I think thats for show.

Jihoon's mom seemed disappointed when he came back and she seems to constantly push for Devan to just take him away so he isn't her responsibility anymore.  She seems to think that Devan is going to give her the responsible adult son she wants but doesn't have.  But I don't think thats how it works, especially for men around 30.  Not saying that he has to have a house and a 401k.  But a 30 year old man shouldn't have to give hi money to his mother for safekeeping so he doesn't spend it on magic beans or going out with friends.  Jihoon may be better suited to be the son who stays and helps care for his parents as they age.  

Does anyone know if Jihoon had a girlfriend prior to Devan?  I'd be interested in knowing how or why that ended.  

 

 

He has kids to take care of so he really can’t take care of his parents as you typed. Hopefully Devan knows not to get pregnant again. 

Edited August 29, 2020 by ErikaOnline

[cinsays]

40 minutes ago, ErikaOnline said:

He has kids to take care of so he really can’t take care of his parents as you typed. Hopefully Devan knows not to get pregnant again. 

ha....you're joking, right?  Deavan has no sense, as far as I can tell.  

And, I am sure this must have been said somewhere, either on these boards or on the show, but I assume there has been a DNA test and it is definitely jooonie's baby, right?

[Persnickety1]

On 8/27/2020 at 1:58 PM, Mothra said:

What's up with Melyza's face?  She's absolutely beautiful but she has a stone face to rival Buster Keaton's.  Did she have Botox all over it?  Doesn't anybody else find it odd that she is 98% of the time expressionless?

I would have that same resting bitch face 98% of the time if I had to be around Tim, too.  

Hell, I have that same look on my face 98% of the time during his scenes.  Zzzzz.  

[1011101010001]

15 minutes ago, Persnickety1 said:

I would have that same resting bitch face 98% of the time if I had to be around Tim, too.  

Hell, I have that same look on my face 98% of the time during his scenes.  Zzzzz.  

Tim kinda has the look and demeanor of Lurch.

[AZChristian]

31 minutes ago, MrBuhBye said:

Tim kinda has the look and demeanor of Lurch.

Nah.  Lurch wouldn't ever cry.

[mightysparrow]

9 hours ago, ErikaOnline said:

Lol poor innocent Yazan. Aren’t they in the same age group? Yazan is no little boy. He can take care of himself.

I have no idea what the deal is with Yazan.  He can't be that desperate for a green card that he would put up with all of Brittany's bullshit.  I'm sure there are lots of already-Muslim American women who would take him on.  These two make my spidey-senses tingle because nothing about them adds up. 

[mightysparrow]

On 8/27/2020 at 10:14 PM, Auntie Anxiety said:

Welcome, @mightysparrow. This show is addictive, so don’t say you weren’t warned! 

I highlighted the above, because even though Jihoon was in way over his head from the jump, he kept promising to do better and be better. But when left to his own devices, he didn’t give those promises a second thought. So, yeah, he misrepresented himself time and again.

Thank you for the welcome.

I haven't been watching long enough to see the beginning of any of the stories.  When I started watching, all Jihoon seemed to do was cry, apologize and go to the ATM with his mom.  He seemed like a childish, immature man who was in no position to care for his own child much less TWO children.  But Deavan and her mother are such harpies, that I've begun to feel little twinges of sympathy for Jihoon, which is more a result of how horrible Deavan and her mother are and less a result of Jihoon becoming a better man.

In my opinion, Ari and Deavan should both pack up their children and go home.  Ari needs to move quickly before she's unable to fly.  It's clear they don't really want to be with the men they're with and it's equally clear that the men they're with wouldn't be heartbroken if Ari and Deavan left.  Bini seems way more worried about losing his child than he is about losing Ari.  Jihoon's parents seem to care about Jihoon's child than Jihonn does.  And nobody really cares that much about Druscilla which probably has a lot to do with why she  acts out ALL THE TIME.  If there's no developmental issues, there is no fucking excuse on earth why that child is not toilet trained, unless every adult in her life was too fucking lazy to spend the time.  And that's a tragedy.

 I think Brittany and Yazan are a total con-job.  They don't seem to like each other, much less love each other.  They both must be getting something out of this.

 

 

[CrazyInAlabama]

I wonder what happens when Ari refuses to convert to Bini's religion, because the priest said that the mother has to be Orthodox Christian for the child to be baptized?    I'm shocked the priest didn't say that the parents needed to marry in the church too, for the baptism.  

[Kangatush]

On 8/26/2020 at 3:06 PM, John M said:

I'm constantly amazed at how much strife seems universal in heterosexual relationships seems to revolve around men refusing to engage in household physical and emotional labor because they are men and men don't do that. Like, the idea that two men could have a happy marriage and a clean and organized house just seems unfathomable to them.

Honey, for the 1000th time neither of us is the "woman", we divided up the needs of our household fairly and equitably years ago, we honestly do not have any conflict over who does the dishes, the laundry and takes out the trash.

Growing up, it seems my family was very progressive.  Dad was fully an equal partner in things domestic.  Some chores were rotated, while mom did laundry and dad did outdoor stuff.  Mainly because my mom was really picky about laundry and only wanted it her way.  And as we aged, the kids were fully expected to participate, from cooking, dishes, vacuuming... I think it's probably made my brothers better partners.  

And now that my parents are divorced, and dad is out, and living with his partner, he has a set up similar to John M's.  Each doing what they're good at and rotating other chores.  They're happy, the place is clean, and there's no internal tally sheet of, "I took out the trash last time, now YOU do it."

[magemaud]

4 hours ago, mightysparrow said:

I have no idea what the deal is with Yazan.  He can't be that desperate for a green card that he would put up with all of Brittany's bullshit.  

Brittany and Yazan are on “The Other Way” where the premise is the American is moving to a foreign country, so there aren’t any green card issues. Most people are convinced that Brittany is just on the show to gain social media followers and promote her rap career.  Yazan naively thinks she’s doing it for love, will convert to Islam, respect his family, and become a modest, obedient Muslim wife by day but a freak at night. 

Edited August 30, 2020 by magemaud

[John M]

Forgot I didn't manage to finish this episode until just now, can anyone tell me what emotion Ari was trying to express in that final scene with her face? It just looked like her face was being randomly physically smushed than any emotion that I could recognize from from the facial expression of a human or animal. It was like a deformed bird glaring at me, like is it about to attack or fall over dead from an intestinal virus.

[Pepper Mostly]

17 hours ago, mightysparrow said:

I have no idea what the deal is with Yazan.  He can't be that desperate for a green card that he would put up with all of Brittany's bullshit.  I'm sure there are lots of already-Muslim American women who would take him on.  These two make my spidey-senses tingle because nothing about them adds up. 

Yazan has no intention of coming to the US, even if he could, under current conditions. He is the heir to the Fishmongering Empire in Jordan. The real mystery is why does Brittany want to go to Jordan? Avery's wish to move to a Muslim majority country with her husband was understandable, since she is a practicing Muslim. But Brittany wouldn't even discuss it. The whole thing is as fishy as Yazan's market stall.

16 hours ago, CrazyInAlabama said:

I wonder what happens when Ari refuses to convert to Bini's religion, because the priest said that the mother has to be Orthodox Christian for the child to be baptized?    I'm shocked the priest didn't say that the parents needed to marry in the church too, for the baptism.  

I have completely given up on even firing up the synapses required on this one, because its obvious to me that this is just another trope that Sharp hauls out of the dusty old plot line file. Lets see, there's "oh noes, the foreign fiance just wants a green card, probably!" and "oh noes, the foreign fiance is LAZY", and "oh noes, the male foreign fiance will oppress the fine free American woman he's engaged to and expect her to respect his culture probably", and "oh noes, there's a religious difference, will that tear our love's young dream apart? probably!". See also: weird food, primitive and backward with chickens in the living room, goldbricking family back home demanding money, friend who has no filter, and having to receive a parent's blessing. I've said it before and I'll say it again, they need some new writers, STAT.

Edited August 30, 2020 by Pepper Mostly

[magemaud]

On 8/29/2020 at 7:46 AM, RealReality said:

Does anyone know if Jihoon had a girlfriend prior to Devan?  I'd be interested in knowing how or why that ended.  

Wouldn't it be interesting if inexperienced Jihoon flew to meet Deaven in the US with the sole intention of losing his virginity? That would even explain his inability to use condoms correctly. 

[lightninggirl]

On 8/29/2020 at 11:56 AM, MrBuhBye said:

Tim kinda has the look and demeanor of Lurch.

He really looks ill. His eyes are like two pissholes in the sand, and I wonder if it's alcoholism? Fatty liver? He used to be thin so maybe he's just one of those people who look sick when they gain weight? He looks terrible, like he's been on a two-week bender. Also, I'm shocked he could walk going to that job interview because his pants were 3 sizes too small. Dang. I was holding my breath when he threw his leg over the back of that taxi bike waiting for his pants to split open!

[Mrs. Hanson]

@RealReality - Jihoon said he had a few relationships that lasted a year or so.  One can assume they were intimate, but hey....one never knows!

Per the PDA and Kenny/Armando:  My hubs and I hold hands in public most of the time.  When we are around my kids or other family, we don't.  It is not that hard, Kenny. 

It has been said before, but geez no wonder we Americans get such a bad rap  - it is earned by these fools!!!  

[Johannah]

Meant to mention this before and sorry if I'm repeating something already said, but I don't think Jihoon's "big, big aunt" introduction had anything to do with her size.  I think it was a generational thing.  I think he was misinterpreting "great, great aunt".  

[Dixiesoul]

On 8/26/2020 at 9:07 PM, MrBuhBye said:

Someone said there is another season of The Family Chantal in the can.  

Another season in my trash can.

 

[Scarlett45]

On 8/31/2020 at 11:46 AM, Johann said:

Meant to mention this before and sorry if I'm repeating something already said, but I don't think Jihoon's "big, big aunt" introduction had anything to do with her size.  I think it was a generational thing.  I think he was misinterpreting "great, great aunt".  

Or “first born aunt” to insinuate birth order among the aunts, she didn’t look old enough to be a great great aunt (maybe a great aunt if there was a large age span between siblings). 

[Johannah]

3 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

Or “first born aunt” to insinuate birth order among the aunts, she didn’t look old enough to be a great great aunt (maybe a great aunt if there was a large age span between siblings). 

I thought she didn't look that old, either, but did consider the possibility of large age spans between siblings and some having children earlier/later than others.  It's not unreasonable to have 10 years between siblings and if one of those siblings had children in her 30's and the other started early, like age 20, that's a 20 year span in one generation of cousins.  Another generation of that and cousins are 40 years apart.  Unusual, but all within general ages of childbirth.  But then, I like your idea, too.

[Scarlett45]

49 minutes ago, Johann said:

I thought she didn't look that old, either, but did consider the possibility of large age spans between siblings and some having children earlier/later than others.  It's not unreasonable to have 10 years between siblings and if one of those siblings had children in her 30's and the other started early, like age 20, that's a 20 year span in one generation of cousins.  Another generation of that and cousins are 40 years apart.  Unusual, but all within general ages of childbirth.  But then, I like your idea, too.

I know in Cantonese there are different words for aunts and uncles depending on birth order (like a “suk suk” is father’s younger brother), so I assume Korean has similar terms. Unlike in English “Aunt” can mean 100 different terms, including just a term of respect for an older woman. 

It could’ve been either one. 

[CrazyInAlabama]

Good point about "Aunt" being a term of respect, and not just a blood relative.    My friend from the Philippines explained that, when her daughter in law called her Auntie, and I was totally confused, so Nina explained it.   It can also be honorary relatives, who are like family, or just older woman as a term of respect. 

[Scarlett45]

2 hours ago, CrazyInAlabama said:

Good point about "Aunt" being a term of respect, and not just a blood relative.    My friend from the Philippines explained that, when her daughter in law called her Auntie, and I was totally confused, so Nina explained it.   It can also be honorary relatives, who are like family, or just older woman as a term of respect. 

Black people in the USA (And southern people of all races generally) do the same thing- “aunt” means older woman of familiarity and affection (compared to Ms First Name, which indicates respect but not an intimate closeness). Ah English. 
 

I can see Jihoon not knowing in English the term means different things.