S10.E09: The L Word

[Lindz]

1 hour ago, Silver Bells said:

She looked stunning, and Zack thought so too.  His first words were “ you look beautiful”.

He said that because he SHOULD have. Societal norm applied to an unconventional marriage. He also kissed her (then later told her he felt nothing), and put on a great ACT to give her a dream wedding day or show what a great actor he can be, only to REPEATEDLY tell her he's not attracted to her. He wouldn't say, "You like nice, I just don't want to look at you," now would he? 😂

[Lindz]

Meka meant, "It feels good to finally take my fake hair off with Michael." 😂😂

[spunky]

On 2/27/2020 at 9:53 AM, Booger666 said:

Brandon drives me crazy.  He comes across as lazy AF and entitled in relationships.  I think he’s been way too coddled by the females in his family and expects to coast on his cute looks forever. He was infuriating with his 1950s attitude of only talking to his wife if she was in a frame of mind to be positive and make him happy regardless of how he treats her and anything else going on in her life.

Meka is very smart and well spoken.  I wish she would’ve been paired with Luke (a couple of seasons back) as she would’ve had him figured out.  I’m so confused by Michael.  What is with all the lies?  Some little and some big.  Makes no sense why he is doing this and behaving the way he is.

The editing for Mindy is odd.  When she is shown with Zach she lights up at the tiniest crumb of friendship he drops.  In her talking heads she acts like she is on to his word salad and lack of effort.  Wonder if talking heads were shot during the experiment or after decision day and they decided to give her an opportunity to change her narrative.

Meka and Luke might have actually worked. Physically she’s his type and he surely wouldn’t have pulled the crap he did with Kate. In fact Luke needs to track Meka down and get the ball rolling.

[Elizzikra]

2 hours ago, Silver Bells said:

Cosmetics and clothes are a billion dollar business.  What’s wrong with looking your best for yourself?  It makes you feel good.  Plus, nobody has to “ slather” on makeup.  Even a little touch makes you look good, and why not look good?  If that’s the case, why did Mindy get all glammed up for her first impression at her wedding?  She looked stunning, and Zack thought so too.  His first words were “ you look beautiful”.

"Looking your best" to some people means not wearing makeup. Getting all dolled up may make you feel better but it doesn't make everyone feel better. Some people just aren't focused on how they look. Some people don't like how makeup feels on their face. What works for you doesn't work for all women. 

I have nothing against makeup - I wear it myself sometimes. Both my husband and my closet will testify that I'm quite the clothes-horse. What I object to is the idea that a woman must conform to a conventional notion of female beauty (driven by that billion dollar business you mention) to get and keep a man. I especially chafe at the notion that they have to do that at all times, even when they are home dusting or making dinner or just relaxing. Real men - good men - love their partners just as much when they are in sweats and a t-shirt as they do when their wives are made up. There is nothing wrong with being glam. There is nothing wrong with showing your naked face to the world. There's certainly nothing wrong with showing it to your partner.

Quote

When Derek and Katie were discussing where to live, and wanted something sort of between Alexandria (where she works) and Centreville (where he works), they came up with Mosaic in Falls Church as an option.  That is very realistic, as it is a super up-and-coming mixed-use residential/commercial "neighborhood".   

Mosaic would be a great place for them but it's expensive! I don't know anything about their finances but everything right in Mosaic is new and pricey. There are some older and somewhat less expensive communities nearby so that could be a good choice for them.

Quote

Meka and Luke might have actually worked. Physically she’s his type and he surely wouldn’t have pulled the crap he did with Kate. In fact Luke needs to track Meka down and get the ball rolling.

I don't love Meka but even I wouldn't wish Luke on her. I wouldn't wish Luke on anybody.

Edited February 29, 2020 by Elizzikra

[Lindz]

Brandon & Taylor are HOLDING BAAAAAAAACK what the other NEEDS to KNOWWWWWW, which keeps them STUCKKKKKKKK!!!!!!! I just learned this, it's ANNOYING!! WORSE, Taylor took a dig, instead of ASKING him to explain himself!! TSK! TSK! AGAIN, they explain to the CAMERAS & NOT their spouse, WHO is that HELPING?? GEEZ!! He told her he's fine with her taking pics of her food. WTF is she calling her HUSBAND, "Bro"?!! I think they looped that video for effect. Then she asked & he said NOTHING. If he has an issue, BE AN ADULT & SAY IT! QUIT LETTING IT BUILD! IT'S STUPID!!!

[Lindz]

Ya. Derek got defensive, that's BAD. BAD REACTION. BAD COMMUNICATION. NOT the way to get her to open her mind. I accept her concern, but she MUST EXPLAIN what she needs to get over it & also reassure him & he needs to tell her MORE about how he will try to grow in love! She should NOT hold it against him like that. COME ON!! She wouldn't like it if he held it against her that she'd been in love & those relationships FAILED. #BOOM! Now, WHY is it so effin hard for her to say, "It's seems you're not OPEN to being in love & him reassuring her that he is, he wants to be." THAT EFFIN SIMPLE!! Glad they were able to resolve it. It should've been Derek who addressed it & him snapping, FIRST, though. Seemed he was waiting for her to say something. NO! YOU messed up, YOU address & FIX IT!!

[Ohwell]

2 hours ago, OnTime said:

He said he works in Sterling, not Centreville.

I thought he said he lives in Sterling, but maybe I misheard.

[Hangin Out]

46 minutes ago, Elizzikra said:

I have nothing against makeup - I wear it myself sometimes. Both my husband and my closet will testify that I'm quite the clothes-horse. What I object to is the idea that a woman must conform to a conventional notion of female beauty (driven by that billion dollar business you mention) to get and keep a man. I especially chafe at the notion that they have to do that at all times, even when they are home dusting or making dinner or just relaxing. Real men - good men - love their partners just as much when they are in sweats and a t-shirt as they do when their wives are made up. There is nothing wrong with being glam. There is nothing wrong with showing your naked face to the world. There's certainly nothing wrong with showing it to your partner.

A woman doesn’t have to do anything she doesn’t want to.  If a man loves you, he will love you no matter what.  The thing is, Mindy and Zack are married two weeks unconventually and aren’t in love, although she would want to be.  If Zack says he’s coming over to play cards, you take those ugly, baggy jogging pants and tank top off, put on a cute blouse and pants, curl your hair and put some lipstick on.  He then will see the same Mindy as on her wedding day.  She’s not keeping a man yet because she doesn’t have him yet.  That’s the difference.  They don’t have any history of marriage or love.  He’s not her real partner in the sense.  They are just acquaintances right now, and she’s not dusting or making dinner because they are not in love and he does not want to be there.  So, let’s agree to disagree, lol.

[Lindz]

Tay Tay did a BAD, BAD thing!! & NO ONE called her on her BS!! Taylor, IT WAS WRONG! IT CROSSED THE LINE!! So, she wants him to do something like that then, huh? SO INAPPROPRIATE!! It's NOT effin funny!! That's calling it DONE! My limit is RESPECT! Ok. He disrespected her TWICE & she didn't write him off & is tired of him NOT making it up to her, even though she didn't tell him how after he kept failing. Maybe she thought she could show him how it's really done & see how he likes it & he reacted how she should've. If someone wants to go, they can GO! DON'T MALICIOUSLY DISRESPECT to make the other person do it for them. That's WEAK, WORTHLESS, PATHETIC, DISGUSTING & COMPLETELY UNNECESSARY showing one's self in such a light. Should be ashamed, it's even more disturbing if they're not. I'm shocked he didn't leave his ring. & the 20 bags of fake hair looks RIDICULOUS, like she's wearing an animal or something.

[Liberty]

Sadly, Katie seems to think that being told she is loved is more important than being treated as if she is loved.

Her old boyfriend now says he loves her, but likely their relationship did not end because he treated her as if he loved her.  How many abusive people say 'but you know I love you'?

Her idea that 26 is old and that her best years are behind her is born of immaturity.  Losing her health insurance because of her birthday may also be a reflection on her level of achievement professionally.  MAFS does inflate job descriptions, and personal descriptions, such as "Brains & Beauty".

Derek, listen to those doubtful voices in your head, before you move to Mosaic and end up splitting up with a lease she can't afford on her own after you split up 😬

Edited February 29, 2020 by Liberty
To give Derek valuable advice 🙃

[Hangin Out]

On 2/28/2020 at 9:32 AM, sasha206 said:

Guess what?  Even beauty queens get dumped.  Pamela Anderson got divorced multiple times.  Maybe her picker is off, but that doesn't mean she needs to change what she looks like.

Did you ask yourself why Zach, who is conventionally good-looking, is on this show?  Why does he have issues in relationships that he needs to be on this show?

Because his looks and body mean nothing.  When he opens his mouth for a conversation, he doesn’t make sense.  Anybody with half a brain wouldn’t go for him or that pompadour on his head.

[Hangin Out]

1 hour ago, Lindz said:

Ya. Derek got defensive, that's BAD. BAD REACTION. BAD COMMUNICATION. NOT the way to get her to open her mind. I accept her concern, but she MUST EXPLAIN what she needs to get over it & also reassure him & he needs to tell her MORE about how he will try to grow in love! She should NOT hold it against him like that. COME ON!! She wouldn't like it if he held it against her that she'd been in love & those relationships FAILED. #BOOM! Now, WHY is it so effin hard for her to say, "It's seems you're not OPEN to being in love & him reassuring her that he is, he wants to be." THAT EFFIN SIMPLE!! Glad they were able to resolve it. It should've been Derek who addressed it & him snapping, FIRST, though. Seemed he was waiting for her to say something. NO! YOU messed up, YOU address & FIX IT!!

Katy and Jessica have to cool it with the love word.  It’s too soon.  They both are pressuring the guys and might be sorry.  Let the guys tell you first.  What’s the rush two weeks in?

[Hangin Out]

49 minutes ago, Lindz said:

Tay Tay did a BAD, BAD thing!! & NO ONE called her on her BS!! Taylor, IT WAS WRONG! IT CROSSED THE LINE!! So, she wants him to do something like that then, huh? SO INAPPROPRIATE!! It's NOT effin funny!! That's calling it DONE! My limit is RESPECT! Ok. He disrespected her TWICE & she didn't write him off & is tired of him NOT making it up to her, even though she didn't tell him how after he kept failing. Maybe she thought she could show him how it's really done & see how he likes it & he reacted how she should've. If someone wants to go, they can GO! DON'T MALICIOUSLY DISRESPECT to make the other person do it for them. That's WEAK, WORTHLESS, PATHETIC, DISGUSTING & COMPLETELY UNNECESSARY showing one's self in such a light. Should be ashamed, it's even more disturbing if they're not. I'm shocked he didn't leave his ring. & the 20 bags of fake hair looks RIDICULOUS, like she's wearing an animal or something.

Hahaha .. that hair gets bigger and bigger every week, unless I’m seeing things.  It must be a bitch in 90 degree weather. Lol.

[Lindz]

I don't think Jessica's trying to plan love. She's taking his gestures & thoughtfulness to be expressions of love & he's doing it so SOON! So of course she's wondering. Perfectly REASONABLE. However, she should be wondering if he's doing because he feels it's his responsibility OR because he cares about her & that's how he's showing her. He needs to CHILL. Seems scared about the L word. He should be embracing it, NOT fighting it. He definitely WON'T feel it, believing he shouldn't.

[Lindz]

My SCREAM LAUGH moments:
Meka: "His feet look like all his life he had to fight." HAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!! 😂😂 Go The Color Purple reference!! I'm with her!! Not into touching a guy's feet, probably won't look EVER again if they're JACKED.
Brandon: "We're probably worse off than Zach & Mindy." & that's REALLY BAD!! BAHAHA!! Ya, Mindy wants him there & Taylor doesn't want you there! It's really over & you're acting like it, unlike them.
Zach: "It's hard to have an emotionally intelligent conversation with her. It's almost like she doesn't get it when I talk to her." HAAAAAAAAA!! His own sister looked like he made NO SENSE & shut the bs DOWN!! He's being a SELFISH ASSHOLE!! Cut to Mindy playing solitaire! How APPROPRIATE!! In her sagging, flapjack pants. I don't even have a penis & it retreated at that sight! 😂😂 The music was a nice touch, PLEASE categorize that music for me!!

[sasha206]

2 hours ago, Silver Bells said:

Because his looks and body mean nothing.  When he opens his mouth for a conversation, he doesn’t make sense.  Anybody with half a brain wouldn’t go for him or that pompadour on his head.

I'm with you on that!  I was just responding to someone who only faulted Mindy for going on the show!

[Lindz]

This episode is about getting them to think about growing in love. Their past experiences and their ideas. They should be figuring out how their spouse wants to be shown love & how they love, that's how it'll grow.

[Elizzikra]

3 hours ago, Silver Bells said:

A woman doesn’t have to do anything she doesn’t want to.  If a man loves you, he will love you no matter what.  The thing is, Mindy and Zack are married two weeks unconventually and aren’t in love, although she would want to be.  If Zack says he’s coming over to play cards, you take those ugly, baggy jogging pants and tank top off, put on a cute blouse and pants, curl your hair and put some lipstick on.  He then will see the same Mindy as on her wedding day.  She’s not keeping a man yet because she doesn’t have him yet.  That’s the difference.  They don’t have any history of marriage or love.  He’s not her real partner in the sense.  They are just acquaintances right now, and she’s not dusting or making dinner because they are not in love and he does not want to be there.  So, let’s agree to disagree, lol.

Ah the old bait and switch dating thing. Yeah - agree to disagree.

[Kiss my mutt]

Honestly, I don’t think there is any amount of lipstick that would make Zack like her. He’s just not into her. EOS. 

[Elizzikra]

10 hours ago, sasha206 said:

Am I the only one that doesn't shower before bed? If I did, I'd have to take 2 showers a day because my hair requires it.  And it helps me wake up.  I wash my sheets.  I didn't realize until this show that apparently I'm unhygienic!  There is nothing to me that screams poor  hygiene from Mindy!

Nope - I shower in the morning and only do so again if I’ve gotten really sweaty or dirty for some reason. I wash the sheets and duvet cover once a week. 

Now here’s the real controversial question - how often do y’all wash your pajamas? I have a friend who insists on a fresh pair every single day - says anything less is disgusting.

[Racj82]

8 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

Nope - I shower in the morning and only do so again if I’ve gotten really sweaty or dirty for some reason. I wash the sheets and duvet cover once a week. 

Now here’s the real controversial question - how often do y’all wash your pajamas? I have a friend who insists on a fresh pair every single day - says anything less is disgusting.

Da fuq? 

I take a shower before I go to sleep. Why would need to change that daily when I'm only in it when I'm clean?

I also change my bi weekly. I don't get in the bed unless I'm clean either and I'm not trying be out here changing sheets every week anyway.

Keep in mind that I'm single. I'm the only one on my bed. Sadly.

I shower at night. I've never seen the point in showering in the morning if all I did was sleep. I shower at night because I've been working and moving all day. 

[Higgins]

On 2/27/2020 at 4:03 PM, gingerandcloves said:

I agree, why would anyone professional go on this show? 

I would like to know the whole scenario about this job offer. Did he really turn it down due to a change in the job description/pay or did they turn him down when they found out he was involved in this show or was it something else? I have some things I'm speculating about but they are purely speculation so I don't want to put them out there. And going by next week's preview, it doesn't look good for Michael. I'd love to know the truth about it.

I don't see how he is qualified to be a Principal of any school. 

[Higgins]

On 2/28/2020 at 5:50 PM, LuvMyShows said:

I was wondering how many of my DMV peeps caught that.  They only showed it briefly, so if you blinked, you missed it.  It's in Arlington, so when Derek said he works in Centreville, he has a hell of a commute!

When Derek and Katie were discussing where to live, and wanted something sort of between Alexandria (where she works) and Centreville (where he works), they came up with Mosaic in Falls Church as an option.  That is very realistic, as it is a super up-and-coming mixed-use residential/commercial "neighborhood".   

Except he would be going against traffic.

[Starlight925]

I think the discomfort about Derek never having been in love is more about a fear that Derek is a commitmentphobe. 

Derek said that he's the one who leaves relationships, that he's the one who's broken hearts, not the other way around.  Which leads me to believe that he's either choosing the wrong women, or allowing himself to be chosen by the wrong ones.  Either way, it shows that he's not fully committing to a relationship, and Katie is scared that she'll end up as another of his broken-hearted.

I'll stop here to say that there is no part of Katie that I like.  None.  But, I do get where her fear comes from:  she's afraid that if she does fall in love with Derek, she'll end up as another one of his discarded broken hearts.

I dated a guy once who said to me, within the first week, "I do all the breaking up".  He went on to say that "cracks" start to show within 6 months, and that's usually around when he leaves.  We made it 7 months before he suddenly bailed.  Silly me, I thought I'd change that.  So I do get where Katie is coming from.

[Hangin Out]

14 hours ago, Kiss my mutt said:

Honestly, I don’t think there is any amount of lipstick that would make Zack like her. He’s just not into her. EOS. 

There’s somebody out there for her, hopefully.  She’s a good person.  How can we find out if she’s dating or whatever?  They should have a show of those who didn’t match to see how they turned out.  I’m surprised Shanice and what’s his name we’re on the couples couch, but im happy he’s still around for her and the baby.  The season when that blonde “Molly” who hated the guy with the muscles.. he wound up marrying the blonde sex therapist that was on who had three kids.

 

 

Edited March 1, 2020 by Silver Bells

[LuvMyShows]

 

15 minutes ago, Silver Bells said:

They should have a show of those who didn’t match to see how they turned out.  

I would LOVE to see this!  Right now the one I think we know the most about is Jon, cause of his relationship with Dr. Blondie.

[Hangin Out]

5 minutes ago, LuvMyShows said:

 

I would LOVE to see this!  Right now the one I think we know the most about is Jon, cause of his relationship with Dr. Blondie.

Yeah, that’s his name.  Molly wanted nothing to do with him, but Blondie did, lol.  How about Basement Ryan and her, the one with the vodka?  She wanted him in the end, but he wanted Mama.  They should have a Reunion of all of them.  That would be great t.v.

[StatisticalOutlier]

22 hours ago, Silver Bells said:

Cosmetics and clothes are a billion dollar business. 

Cosmetics would be almost a zero dollar business if women could somehow feel about their appearance like men do about theirs.

 

22 hours ago, Silver Bells said:

What’s wrong with looking your best for yourself?  It makes you feel good.  Plus, nobody has to “ slather” on makeup.  Even a little touch makes you look good, and why not look good? 

I just don't believe that women come out of the womb believing that they would look better with a touch of makeup.  They learn it.  And it gets so ingrained that, as you said, they think they're doing it to look their best for themselves. 

 

22 hours ago, Silver Bells said:

If that’s the case, why did Mindy get all glammed up for her first impression at her wedding? 

Societal pressure. 

[gonecrackers]

I think Mindy is like a lot of women who wear makeup sometimes (e.g. her wedding, TH's, probably for performances etc.), & probably enjoys it, but is casual & more natural on her own time.

[sasha206]

21 hours ago, Liberty said:

Sadly, Katie seems to think that being told she is loved is more important than being treated as if she is loved.

Her old boyfriend now says he loves her, but likely their relationship did not end because he treated her as if he loved her.  How many abusive people say 'but you know I love you'?

Her idea that 26 is old and that her best years are behind her is born of immaturity.  Losing her health insurance because of her birthday may also be a reflection on her level of achievement professionally.  MAFS does inflate job descriptions, and personal descriptions, such as "Brains & Beauty".

Derek, listen to those doubtful voices in your head, before you move to Mosaic and end up splitting up with a lease she can't afford on her own after you split up 😬

I guess I need to watch this show more because I must have missed her saying "TELL ME YOU LOVE ME" or "WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO TELL ME YOU LOVE ME."  Instead, I hear her have some concern that he has never been in love, like most people have by that time .  He had a 2 year relationship and stayed in it despite not feeling in love.  That's a long time.  If I'm her, I'm wondering whether he's capable of love at all.  And how long would it take for him to fall in love. If ever.  That's a valid concern.

Putting her on his insurance sounds great.   Maybe that means he thinks he will fall in love.  But he also dated someone for 2 years.  And didn't love her.  There are people that stay in relationships, and in this one a marriage, for all the wrong reasons that don't include being in love with someone.

 

Edited March 1, 2020 by sasha206

[gonecrackers]

I understand Katie's concerns, but, she also threw her continuing feelings for her ex at him, so, that's not really helpful. Despite that Derek was checking on his insurance for her, which is more than he should be doing with her unresolved ex issues right now. She's not worth the risk for him either at this point.

[Ohwell]

I don't blame Mindy for dressing in "I don't give a damn clothes" when she's around Zach.  My issue with her is that she knows she's on national television and I would think she'd want to look more put together.  (That's the same issue I have with Michael.) 

Someone upthread mentioned people not commenting on Jessica (?) in t-shirt and jeans, and I think that's a fine casual outfit--not baggy pants like Mindy wears.   Meka had on a denim jacket when she and Michael went out to eat and I thought she looked nice too.

Edited March 1, 2020 by Ohwell
got rid of some redundancies

[sasha206]

8 minutes ago, gonecrackers said:

I understand Katie's concerns, but, she also threw her continuing feelings for her ex at him, so, that's not really helpful. Despite that Derek was checking on his insurance for her, which is more than he should be doing with her unresolved ex issues right now. She's not worth the risk for him either at this point.

Yes, this is so true!

[Liberty]

24 minutes ago, sasha206 said:

I guess I need to watch this show more because I must have missed her saying "TELL ME YOU LOVE ME" or "WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO TELL ME YOU LOVE ME."  Instead, I hear her have some concern that he has never been in love, like most people have by that time .

It was her old boyfriend who gained space in her marriage with the declaration that he loved her, although had likely not demonstrated his love before the breakup. 

You documented her concerns about her husband quite well.

Edited March 1, 2020 by Liberty

[Elizzikra]

15 minutes ago, Ohwell said:

I don't blame Mindy for dressing in "I don't give a damn clothes" when she's around Zach.  My issue with her is that she knows she's on national television and I would think she'd want to look more put together.  (That's the same issue I have with Michael.) 

Someone upthread mentioned people not commenting on Jessica (?) in t-shirt and jeans, and I think that's a fine casual outfit--not baggy pants like Mindy wears.   Meka had on a denim jacket when she and Michael went out to eat and I thought she looked nice too.

Why? Why should MIndy want to "look more put together" just because she's on a tv show? Everyone is always on the lookout for ways that "reality" shows are fake. One of the fakest things I can think of is a woman who doesn't wear her hang-around-the-house-clothes when she's ... hanging around the house. 

 

[sasha206]

3 minutes ago, Liberty said:

It was her old boyfriend who gained space in her marriage with the declaration that he loved her.  You documented her concerns about her husband quite well.

I agree with that.  She was clearly in love with the ex, he broke her heart.  He hears about her being on this show and freaks, professes love.  If I were Derek this absolutely would bother me.  

That said, this is not that unusual. People have something good, treat them like shit, then realize they fucked up.  Her feeling emotional about it isn't unusual at all.

I find it far more unusual for someone to be 26 and claim they've never been in love.

[becauseIsaidso]

I, too, am a morning only showerer (is that a word?). If I have gotten sweaty during the day (like spending a few hours working on the lawn/garden) I'll clean up as soon as that's done and not wait until bedtime because the LAST thing I want at night is being jolted into wakefulness by having water, no matter how warm/hot, sprayed all over me. Nor do I wash my hair every day - these old gray strands would look and be as brittle as straw if I did that! I have never understood how people can really WASH their hair everyday without destroying all the natural oils away. Of course, I do live in the cold, dry climes of Maine where I get goosebumps from the cold air (and yes my bathroom is heated but some of us tolerate the cold far less well than others) as soon as I step out of the shower, so there's that. 

[becauseIsaidso]

18 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

Nope - I shower in the morning and only do so again if I’ve gotten really sweaty or dirty for some reason. I wash the sheets and duvet cover once a week. 

Now here’s the real controversial question - how often do y’all wash your pajamas? I have a friend who insists on a fresh pair every single day - says anything less is disgusting.

I guess I pass the sheets test, but I admit I only go thru one pair of pjs a week - after all, they are not gonna be there when the fun stuff happens (BTW, I'm 70, dh is 71.5 and we're going strong)

[Lindz]

11 hours ago, Racj82 said:

Da fuq? 

I take a shower before I go to sleep. Why would need to change that daily when I'm only in it when I'm clean?

I also change my bi weekly. I don't get in the bed unless I'm clean either and I'm not trying be out here changing sheets every week anyway.

Keep in mind that I'm single. I'm the only one on my bed. Sadly.

I shower at night. I've never seen the point in showering in the morning if all I did was sleep. I shower at night because I've been working and moving all day. 

People sweat when they sleep. Then there's the other things they do in bed to make them dirty. 😅😂 Interesting notion though.

Edited March 1, 2020 by Lindz

[Kiss my mutt]

One thing I like about this show, is for the most part, you’ve got every day people who are encouraged to be themselves rather than a cast that goes to hair, makeup and wardrobe before they shoot an episode so you get a taste of how they are irl, editing, notwithstanding. 
 

[Racj82]

1 hour ago, Lindz said:

People sweat when they sleep. Then there's the other things they do in bed to make them dirty. 😅😂 Interesting notion though.

I'm the only one in my bed was part of my post. And I don't sweat in my sleep. I don't know many people that do. Not on a regular basis anyway.

I made it clear that I was only sleeping my bed and it's always after a shower because I knew this type of comment would pop up. 

[Lily247]

I just REALLY dont like Meka, the constantly briskly businesslike way she talks to her husband (Mike?), how full of herself always sounds, how she confronted him about his job as if they have been married for years and not like 10 days, how she got ANGRY at seeing his spatula on the stove....I could go on. The way Mike looks at her  I think he feels the same way. 

[Hangin Out]

4 hours ago, becauseIsaidso said:

I guess I pass the sheets test, but I admit I only go thru one pair of pjs a week - after all, they are not gonna be there when the fun stuff happens (BTW, I'm 70, dh is 71.5 and we're going strong)

Well, good for you I say.  My hubs had open heart surgery and I have five stents after both had a heart attack.  Soooooo, things have slowed down due to medications dammit.  He was my second love .. I was his first love, but he had many girlfriends before me.  We are married a very very long time.  I don’t wear pajamas, but wear nite gowns.  

[Hangin Out]

28 minutes ago, Lily247 said:

I just REALLY dont like Meka, the constantly briskly businesslike way she talks to her husband (Mike?), how full of herself always sounds, how she confronted him about his job as if they have been married for years and not like 10 days, how she got ANGRY at seeing his spatula on the stove....I could go on. The way Mike looks at her  I think he feels the same way. 

That look about the spatula was deadly.  He’s smart.  All he had to do was turn on the gas, spray, and throw in the egg.  Genius.  What was wrong with that?  She’s nuts.  Then she’s looking in the cabinets and had something to say.  Don’t sweat the small stuff.  Too critical with everything.  She has to chill.

[TwirlyGirly]

On 2/27/2020 at 5:32 PM, gingerandcloves said:

I mean, I can tell you what my first thought was, but it probably doesn't apply to Michael's situation. My husband is Catholic and a musician and occasionally does gigs for pay at different churches. He got offered a permanent p/t position with one church which he accepted...BUT when it came down to actually signing on, there was a big-ass ol' list of items that he had to agree to, most of them pertaining to views on homosexuality, and how he had to affirm that marriage is only for heterosexuals and in no way can he condone or affirm any kind of same-sex relationships, blah blah blah. Which, I'm like, I know that the Catholic church's stance, but still, hell no would I sign something like that, at least not without striking out a bunch of items. 

So, that was my first thought, that maybe they presented Michael with a list of guidelines that he had to adhere to, and he thought better of it. But more likely, that there were some issues with Michael's background or resume, and he wasn't as qualified for the position as he said he was.

When Michael and Meka were sitting on the floor talking:

Michael: "[...] I didn't feel comfortable with what they were asking me to do, what they were asking me to give up."

Meka: "What was it? Didn't you all talk about it already?"

Michael: "We did, but it changed. And so with that, came different requirements, it came different stipulations, and it was things we originally didn't agree to, before I signed."

That leads me to believe it may have been similar to what you described as happening to your husband; that Michael was being required to sign an agreement to uphold certain precepts of the Catholic faith. If so, that would also be why he didn't want to go into detail with Meka *on camera*, because had he done so it may have put him in a position of never being able to get a job within the Catholic school system.

It may be only certain positions (perhaps only those in which he'd have authority over students) would require him to agree to uphold those beliefs - a principal wouldn't be allowed to give emotional support to a gay student, for example, other than to offer to join them in "praying away the gay." Whereas administrative positions might not require that.

Just a thought, because I don't see Michael as being a liar in the way Meka always assumes he is. It bothers me Meka never seems to consider she may have misheard Michael, or that she reads deception into everything he says and doesn't consider there may be another explanation.

People who always insist they're right usually... aren't...in my experience.

[sometimesjennifer]

32 minutes ago, TwirlyGirly said:

That leads me to believe it may have been similar to what you described as happening to your husband; that Michael was being required to sign an agreement to uphold certain precepts of the Catholic faith. If so, that would also be why he didn't want to go into detail with Meka *on camera*, because had he done so it may have put him in a position of never being able to get a job within the Catholic school system.

It may be only certain positions (perhaps only those in which he'd have authority over students) would require him to agree to uphold those beliefs - a principal wouldn't be allowed to give emotional support to a gay student, for example, other than to offer to join them in "praying away the gay." Whereas administrative positions might not require that.

I agree that this seems like the most likely scenario, and if so I applaud Michael for standing by his own morals and not allowing money to tempt him into compromising his values. However, I then wonder why in the world he would reveal the situation to her on camera if he was reluctant to fully explore the topic. Why not privately discuss it with her so he could be candid about his misgivings? He then went on to say:

"I don't trust her and I don't think she's being genuine with me. I think everything is a setup for an  'I got you'  moment. So there's really no pleasing my partner at this point, and I think I've just kind of run out of emotional tapestry to keep giving out because it doesn't seem to be getting me anywhere."

So that makes it sound more like he didn't want to discuss it with HER, not that he wanted to shield it from the viewing audience.

(For the record, I only have the exact wording of what he said because every week I discuss the show with my mom and I pick a line to transcribe word for word when I think the person sounds bonkers. That "emotional tapestry" phrasing won him the crown this week! 😝 )

[Hangin Out]

2 hours ago, Kiss my mutt said:

One thing I like about this show, is for the most part, you’ve got every day people who are encouraged to be themselves rather than a cast that goes to hair, makeup and wardrobe before they shoot an episode so you get a taste of how they are irl, editing, notwithstanding. 
 

True.  Unlike the housewives show.  They get all glammed up to meet for coffee.

[TwirlyGirly]

11 minutes ago, sometimesjennifer said:

I agree that this seems like the most likely scenario, and if so I applaud Michael for standing by his own morals and not allowing money to tempt him into compromising his values. However, I then wonder why in the world he would reveal the situation to her on camera if he was reluctant to fully explore the topic. Why not privately discuss it with her so he could be candid about his misgivings? <snip>

Producer driven, perhaps? Production would most likely be aware of his employment situation, because they have to work the filming schedule around the participant's jobs.

It may be they told him to discuss it with Meka on camera and he agreed, but didn't have the foresight to anticipate Meka would once again claim he was lying when he refused to get into the details with her while being filmed.

I'm sorry for leaving out the second part of your post. That was a TH, right? That TH could have been filmed in reference to something else entirely. We know production fiddles around with where they place the THs...

 

Edited March 2, 2020 by TwirlyGirly
Forgot to address second part of post

[Elizzikra]

2 hours ago, Racj82 said:

I'm the only one in my bed was part of my post. And I don't sweat in my sleep. I don't know many people that do. Not on a regular basis anyway.

I made it clear that I was only sleeping my bed and it's always after a shower because I knew this type of comment would pop up. 

Women of a certain age often start to sweat in their sleep. Don’t ask how I know...

[Kiss my mutt]

I hope I’m not required to give an accounting of my bathing habits to be here.