S01.E07: Tough Like a Laundromat Washing Machine

[AnimeMania]

Bob hires Abishola to take care of Dottie in his home while she recovers. Also, Dottie has a hard time dealing with her limitations and takes it out on Abishola.

Airdate: November 4, 2019

[SmithW6079]

On 10/30/2019 at 7:56 PM, AnimeMania said:

Bob hires Abishola to take care of Dottie in his home while she recovers. Also, Dottie has a hard time dealing with her limitations and takes it out on Abishola.

Airdate: November 4, 2019

This sounds like it could be a disaster. Bob moves from potential romantic partner to employer. Abishola is not a home health aide.

[shapeshifter]

2 hours ago, SmithW6079 said:

This sounds like it could be a disaster. Bob moves from potential romantic partner to employer. Abishola is not a home health aide.

Disasters are the stuff of comedy. 
In the previous episode they established Abishola as both strong and compassionate, so it should be okay as long as she doesn't come off as "magically" perfect.

Since, as you pointed out, @SmithW6079, that hiring a romantic partner is not a good idea, maybe they will (hilariously) realize that and then Abishola's friend, Kemi (Gina Yashere) can get the job (if Bob's mom doesn't recover in record breaking time or maybe transition to outpatient care).
Or, if Yashere doesn't want a bigger role on the show, they could add another character --maybe even someone of another ethnicity altogether.

Edited November 3, 2019 by shapeshifter

[jewel21]

Well that was rocky but Abishola handled herself with grace and I really felt how apologetic Dotty was at the end of the episode. 

So Bob was gone for one day and all his employees are staging a walk out, lol. It just goes to show not everyone is management material, heh. 

Also, I loved how Abishola's friends got her a good salary for taking care of Dotty. And how they made sure to include their commission in the price.

[shapeshifter]

3 hours ago, jewel21 said:

Also, I loved how Abishola's friends got her a good salary for taking care of Dotty. And how they made sure to include their commission in the price.

This was the only part I was able to enjoy in the episode -- but I assumed they were kidding about the commission, no?

The rest of it was trying to laugh about stuff that IRL is too painful and/or unforgivable to laugh about.
For example, my sister put our mother in a place in Florida where she only stopped saying she wanted to die when, after 3 years, she lost the ability to speak.
And IRL I've never heard someone sincerely apologize who spouts that level of prejudiced garbage.
And I can't imagine Abishola believing for one minute that the apology meant anything of significance--again, because IRL it wouldn't.

I suppose the writers wanted to show how people can change, but it just doesn't work that way. 

I did love Bob for setting up a place in his home for his mother.

But then I was really disappointed in Bob for misjudging his employees' abilities --even though it happens a lot IRL.

Edited November 5, 2019 by shapeshifter
apostrophe

[possibilities]

The acting on the apology was good, but I also didn't find it credible. The idea that she was lashing out due to her own misery is no excuse, and I am disappointed that the show appears to be giving her a pass. I was very happy that Abishola did not put up with it, and very disappointed that she forgave it so easily. I really think they went way too far.

I hope they realize this, and that's not the end of it. Notably, Bob didn't know exactly what his mother had said, and probably just assumed she was being difficult in a kind of fussy cranky way, and not that she had actually been spewing racist abuse.

I would like to see follow up and more fallout, but I don't know if we will.

I felt bad for Dele. His feet hurt.

[AnimeMania]

I thought the episode was very funny. I felt Dottie was deliberately pushing Abishola's buttons, possibly because she wanted more interaction with her own family members. The family members seemed fine to let Abishola handle everything, instead of trying to learn what they should do to help their mother.  I don't think Dottie is racist because I believe she admitted to dating "people of color" and was borderline inappropriate with the 2 male Nigerian workers.

[Harvey]

It's starting to become disturbing how the aunt still treats Abishola like a cash cow. Wanting to butt in on her honeymoon, and deciding where it would take place? Too far.

It was cute the first few times but now it's becoming too much.

[Browncoat]

It really annoyed me that Bob and his siblings were just sitting around, drinking and smoking while Abishola did EVERYTHING.  I mean, they could have been helping and/or learning how to help their mother so that they would be able to when Abishola wasn’t there.  

I did like the negotiations for Abishola’s compensation, though, and, even though I saw it coming, I laughed when Bob came back to the factory and those two guys were the only ones there.

[Brian Cronin]

Man, my mother passed away earlier this year from a degenerative disease (ALS) which slowly left her paralyzed and unable to speak and wow, Dotty's interactions with her kids brilliantly captured the sort of defeatist thinking that happens when you get into a situation like this.

Ebersole played her a bit more broadly once Abishola was taking care of her (along with all of the racist stuff), but that early stuff was almost too good, as it brought back some unpleasant memories. But heck of a job on her part. 

And while the more over the top stuff doesn't match my memories of my mom's situation, I'm sure there are plenty of people who DO act like that, so I'm not knocking that, just noting that the other stuff rang eerily true. 

[Deskisamess]

I liked this episode, and didn't find Dottie's comments or apology far outside the norm. Strokes do weird things to people, like making people do and say things way outside their normal personality. Medications also do this, something I've had personal experience with.

What really bugged me was the way the effects of the stroke kept changing from her right to left side. There was no attempt at having continuity, and it pulled me out of the scenes.

Pretty much can't stand the sister. Alcohol and drug jokes just aren't funny. I thought her behavior in the hospital waiting room was atrocious, and not funny in the least. I "get" stress reactions from people in difficult situations, but it shouldn't be scripted like slapstick humor. It's too glaringly contradictory, and ends up just feeling icky.

And the brother is Baxter, and always will be.

[Brian Cronin]

6 minutes ago, Deskisamess said:

And the brother is Baxter, and always will be.

It's funny, because I've see him in many things and I still only think of him as Badger from Breaking Bad.

Especially since all of his characters since Badger seem to be variations on Badger (but that might just be that that's all Matt Jones can do, range-wise).

[ECM1231]

What bugged me about this episode is that Abishola is a registered nurse and it wasn't believable to me that she'd take a job caring for Dotty on her off-hours from her hospital job. From what I could see Dotty needed to be cared for by a home health care aide. Yes, she was unable to feed herself, toilet herself, or walk, but with time and the help of a physical therapist, she should recover. I know many registered nurses who do private duty nursing, but it's almost always because the patient needs the skills of a trained R.N., for example: tracheotomy patients. A family member who is a R.N. worked for many years accompanying a student to school and taking care of his needs as  he had a tracheotomy. I'm sure there are other valid medical reasons where a trained, skilled R.N. is needed but not in Dotty's case. My uncle had a stroke and was cared for at home by many, competent home health care aides. It's a difficult job, that pays very poorly, but to equate it with the skill set of being a R.N. is wrong and took me completely out of the episode. I know I am way overthinking this, but things like this just bug me.

[Guest]

I think in a lot of ways the show is hitting its stride, and I'm glad I stuck with it.  However, I thought they had Dottie go too far.  Her apology was good, but it would have been just as effective if instead of spewing racist hate, she had just been really crabby and demanding.  

[Brian Cronin]

42 minutes ago, ECM1231 said:

What bugged me about this episode is that Abishola is a registered nurse and it wasn't believable to me that she'd take a job caring for Dotty on her off-hours from her hospital job. From what I could see Dotty needed to be cared for by a home health care aide. Yes, she was unable to feed herself, toilet herself, or walk, but with time and the help of a physical therapist, she should recover. I know many registered nurses who do private duty nursing, but it's almost always because the patient needs the skills of a trained R.N., for example: tracheotomy patients. A family member who is a R.N. worked for many years accompanying a student to school and taking care of his needs as  he had a tracheotomy. I'm sure there are other valid medical reasons where a trained, skilled R.N. is needed but not in Dotty's case. My uncle had a stroke and was cared for at home by many, competent home health care aides. It's a difficult job, that pays very poorly, but to equate it with the skill set of being a R.N. is wrong and took me completely out of the episode. I know I am way overthinking this, but things like this just bug me.

Excellent point. This is definitely a home aide job and not an RN gig. That said, I could see Abishola making an exception for Bob (especially as he is apparently paying well over normal rates). 

[HurricaneVal]

3 hours ago, Deskisamess said:

What really bugged me was the way the effects of the stroke kept changing from her right to left side. There was no attempt at having continuity, and it pulled me out of the scenes.

I thought Ebersole was doing a great job at playing a stroke patient--with the glaring exception that she kept forgetting which side of her face to slack, and which side to hold tension.  At least it was consistent within a scene, but it changed scene from scene.

I think like many immigrants eager to make money and improve their family's lives, Abishola is open to taking on second or third jobs in order to make more money.  As such, I think so long as it makes her money, isn't too tasking, and falls within her skillset, I don't see her being too proud to take on a nursing job which doesn't utilize all her specialized RN skills.   She needs the money, her son needs new shoes, and probably more new shoes in a few months, not to mention clothing, school expenses etc. etc. etc.  She's wanting to take in as much as she can, as far as she is able.  I also see her taking it on as an easy client, almost a favor to a friend who is also paying her generously. 

Bob is sweet.  His brother and sister are useless.  Usually I'm OK with lazy writers mining that sort of family dynamic for comedic value, like when Bob hands the operating reins over to his factory floor supervisors rather than his brother and sister--with the full understanding of why from the floor supervisors--because the truth is his siblings are useless.  I was less happy that the floor supervisors were likewise useless.  I'm glad they didn't make it such that the interim management made miraculous improvements which cut costs and improved schedule and quality, but I am disappointed they made them incompetent too.

But I was unhappy that in the face of their mother's stroke and recovery, the brother and sister continue to be useless, so everything falls even further onto Bob.  He's recently recovered from his own health crisis, right?  Sadly, this dynamic reminds me of my own family and Mr. HV's family.  So I didn't really like the "useless sibling" humor here when their mother was in crisis.

But..........maybe that's what finally turns the tide for Abishola.  She'll be there caring for the mother and observing how much falls on Bob's shoulders, and how he just takes it on because he's that kind of guy.  Maybe that will allow her to see him, if not as a romantic partner, at least as a friend worth having and a friend worth supporting.

[tennisgurl]

Abishola really handled all of that mess with grace, even though I dont think she should been so quick to forgive Dottie for her horribly racist tirade. I know that strokes mess people up, but those kinds of beliefs dont just come out of nowhere. At the same time, I can kind of get why Abishola forgave her and wanted to move on. She and Bob are really hitting it off, and I can imagine she wouldn't want to be in a fight with his mom, no matter how justified. I do wonder if Bob would have been so calm if he knew exactly what she said? 

Really, hiring someone your dating isnt a great idea. I did love Abisholas friends negotiating a good price for her services, she does seem very good at her job. 

"They'll be back, they just have to finish making some signs!"

[jewel21]

11 minutes ago, tennisgurl said:

"They'll be back, they just have to finish making some signs!"

That line cracked me up, haha.

[MaryMitch]

I know someone who had a stroke, and he acted a lot like Bob's mother: depressed, mean, and saying things without a filter. But he never got any better and certainly never apologized for it, so I hope it's a good sign that Bob's mother will get better.

[TheLotusFlower]

1 hour ago, tennisgurl said:

Abishola really handled all of that mess with grace, even though I dont think she should been so quick to forgive Dottie for her horribly racist tirade. I know that strokes mess people up, but those kinds of beliefs dont just come out of nowhere. At the same time, I can kind of get why Abishola forgave her and wanted to move on. She and Bob are really hitting it off, and I can imagine she wouldn't want to be in a fight with his mom, no matter how justified. I do wonder if Bob would have been so calm if he knew exactly what she said? 

I agree that Abishola shouldn't have forgiven Dottie so easily.  Like you said, those beliefs don't just come out of nowhere.  Some people are defending Dottie and saying that the stroke made her say those things, but that's not really how it works.  A stroke can remove a person's filter, but that just means they will now say things that they thought all along but just had enough sense not to say out loud.  It's not going to make you suddenly start spewing hateful comments that were never in your mind in the first place.  I do wish that Abishola had told Bob exactly what Dottie said.  I got the impression that he thought she was just being a difficult patient, which is to be expected and can be easily forgiven.  I don't think Bob would have been as calm if he knew the truth, and I certainly don't think he would have brought her to Abishola's home.

[AnimeMania]

4 hours ago, HurricaneVal said:

Bob is sweet.  His brother and sister are useless.  Usually I'm OK with lazy writers mining that sort of family dynamic for comedic value, like when Bob hands the operating reins over to his factory floor supervisors rather than his brother and sister--with the full understanding of why from the floor supervisors--because the truth is his siblings are useless.  I was less happy that the floor supervisors were likewise useless.

Bob can't force his brother and sister to run the company, they are worrying/grieving just as much as he is. If Bob wasn't going to work because of a sick mother, she was their mother as well.

I think they were trying to show a different attitude about how to run a company. Bob doesn't care as long as the work gets done, while Goodwin and Kofo seemed to prefer the dictator (micromanagement) approach. It seems weird that Bob didn't already have a floor/shop manager.

Since all MaxDotCom does is receive and ship out premade socks, the setup of their work floor seems off. Everybody is just standing at tables. I would expect to see more packing materials since almost everybody should be in shipping.

[DoYouLikeMutton]

This show is depressing the heck out of me.  Not only don't I find anything about it funny, it's a real buzzkill.  Bob's family is completely useless and it's ridiculous that the two guys he asked to keep an eye on the business lacked any sense at all.  I guess that is where Abishola fits in,  since she at least she has the brains she was born with, unlike any of the other characters in the show.  And why would Bob broach a sensitive subject with Abishola (asking her to care for his mother) in front of her friends?  While many people here found the salary negotiations between Bob and Abishola funny, I found it quite painful.  Can't Abishola ever stand up for herself in front of her friends and family instead of allowing them to take over.  

[Dbolt]

I had a different interpretation of why Dottie said what she did to Abishola. I thought she was trying to drive her away and so she said the things she did for effect, not belief. She wanted her gone so the kids would have to take care of her, not foist her off on hired help. 

[topanga]

14 hours ago, AnimeMania said:

Since all MaxDotCom does is receive and ship out premade socks, the setup of their work floor seems off. Everybody is just standing at tables. I would expect to see more packing materials since almost everybody should be in shipping.

This. I never can figure out what they're doing on the floor. There's no clear assembly line or order to the packing and moving of the boxes of socks. 

This episode has less Bob and Abishola interaction, which is my favorite part of the show. But maybe the show was setting up something with his mother's illness and Abishola's involvement with his family. 

[shapeshifter]

7 hours ago, Dbolt said:

I had a different interpretation of why Dottie said what she did to Abishola. I thought she was trying to drive her away and so she said the things she did for effect, not belief. She wanted her gone so the kids would have to take care of her, not foist her off on hired help. 

But she wouldn't be able to rattle off stuff like that so easily if she hadn't had practice saying it before </my-opinion>

[possibilities]

And the fact that she was willing to be so incredibly vicious and hurtful shows she has no respect for Abishola, doesn't see her as an equal, and is willing to invoke racism for her personal purposes. Sickening and horrifying, frankly evil, behavior.

[Yeah No]

I'm disappointed that the show chose to go the route of making Bob ask Abishola to work for him.  I don't like that this is where his mind would go for a woman he's interested in romantically for all kinds of unequal distribution of power reasons.  If I were her I would wonder if he really sees me as his equal or someone he sees as more of a subordinate and comodity.  I know if I were in the stage of relationship they were in and then the guy asked me this I would feel somehow that the guy wasn't really interested in me and I was being put "in my place" and sidelined or put in a figurative box.  I don't know what the point is the show is trying to make but I hope that she tires of it and quits and says she wants to be his girlfriend, not his employee.

[AnimeMania]

I don't see anything wrong with Bob hiring Abishola. Bob was going to have a problem craving out time to see Abishola on a regular basis since he has to take care of his mother. This gives Bob and Abishola an excuse to see each other, since they regularly met up to talk and seemed to enjoy each other's company even when they had not officially gone on a date yet.

[shapeshifter]

2 hours ago, AnimeMania said:

I don't see anything wrong with Bob hiring Abishola. Bob was going to have a problem craving out time to see Abishola on a regular basis since he has to take care of his mother. This gives Bob and Abishola an excuse to see each other, since they regularly met up to talk and seemed to enjoy each other's company even when they had not officially gone on a date yet.

That^ romantic motive makes sense but did not at all occur to me. There was no dialogue in the episode to support it —like maybe a scene between Bob and Abishola in Bob’s livingroom while his Mom slept.

—instead I was overwhelmed by Bob’s Mom’s racism and the way it was seemingly swept under the rug with an apology that sounded like it came out of a different person. 

But, really, at this stage in Bob’s Mom’s “recovery” (only on TV can they plan on a recovery), with her needing to be fed and changed 3 times a day, that is a full time job. And this assumes Bob is caring for her from 5pm to 8am and then going to work.

Was Bob thinking any amount of money was going to make up for Abishola having about 5 hours of sleep and zero time with her son? When I was a single mother working and going to school, I kept such hours, but they were not imposed on me by someone who cared about me the way I thought Bob cared about Abishola. 

[AnimeMania]

1 hour ago, shapeshifter said:

But, really, at this stage in Bob’s Mom’s “recovery” (only on TV can they plan on a recovery), with her needing to be fed and changed 3 times a day, that is a full time job. And this assumes Bob is caring for her from 5pm to 8am and then going to work.

It might be a long job, but I don't think it would be that hard of a job, especially with Bob there to help Abishola. Bob should be learning how to take care of his mother as well. There would be lots of time to cook, clean, talk, and watch TV, between tending to the needs of Bob's mother. There would be plenty of time for Bob and Abishola to get to know each other in a casual environment. It would be kind of like going on a date, Bob cooks a few of his mother's favorite meals and he and Abishola get to eat together.

[Yeah No]

6 hours ago, AnimeMania said:

I don't see anything wrong with Bob hiring Abishola. Bob was going to have a problem craving out time to see Abishola on a regular basis since he has to take care of his mother. This gives Bob and Abishola an excuse to see each other, since they regularly met up to talk and seemed to enjoy each other's company even when they had not officially gone on a date yet.

Am I the only person that wouldn't want a guy I was interested in for a romantic relationship to be my BOSS?  I'm not even from the "woke" crowd and this rubs me the wrong way.....Not to mention that it sets up a "norm" for their perceived relationship roles that might "typecast" it in a traditional male supervisor/female subordinate dynamic.  That's in the real world of course, not on TV where they re-invent reality.  I get why the show would want to make them have regular contact but this situation is just fraught with potential issues, not to mention how it feels like it comes from sexism.  This is not 25 years ago like on "The Nanny".  I would like to think TV shows in 2019 should be way beyond the wealthy man hiring then getting involved with his family's nurse/health aid, ESPECIALLY when the wealthy man is white with a racist family and the female is black.  Just NO.

Edited November 7, 2019 by Yeah No

[shapeshifter]

2 hours ago, AnimeMania said:

It might be a long job, but I don't think it would be that hard of a job, especially with Bob there to help Abishola. Bob should be learning how to take care of his mother as well. There would be lots of time to cook, clean, talk, and watch TV, between tending to the needs of Bob's mother. There would be plenty of time for Bob and Abishola to get to know each other in a casual environment. It would be kind of like going on a date, Bob cooks a few of his mother's favorite meals and he and Abishola get to eat together.

I could see Bob and Abishola bonding on the first weekend. 
But then on the remaining "couple of days off," if the show is at all realistic, Bob would have to see how exhausted Abishola is --and maybe her son having to wear his Uncle's shoes with newspapers stuffed in the toes (because Abishola has no time to take him shopping since she is working 2. Full. Time. Jobs) will be revisited and that will be the end of Abishola working for Bob, especially since:

49 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

Am I the only person that wouldn't want a guy I was interested in for a romantic relationship to be my BOSS?  I'm not even from the "woke" crowd and this rubs me the wrong way.....Not to mention that it sets up a "norm" for their perceived relationship roles that might "typecast" it in a traditional male supervisor/female subordinate dynamic.  That's in the real world of course, not on TV where they re-invent reality.  I get why the show would want to make them have regular contact but this situation is just fraught with potential issues, not to mention how it feels like it comes from sexism.  This is not 25 years ago like on "The Nanny".  I would like to think TV shows in 2019 should be way beyond the wealthy man hiring then getting involved with his family's nurse/health aid, ESPECIALLY when the wealthy man is white with a racist family and the female is black.  Just NO.

--and hopefully Abishola and Bob will jointly admit these^ problems of him being her boss.

But I still don't see how they can ever walk back Bob's mom's racism, no matter how many contrite and awesomely written and acted scenes she has.
I mean, what Bob's mother spewed is nothing like when my 87-year-old mother --having recently lost her husband, home, and mobility-- referred dismissively to one of the army of nursing assistants caring for her as "big and black" (much to my horror) because she couldn't remember her name.
And this isn't Invasion of the Body Snatchers.

Edited November 7, 2019 by shapeshifter

[Yeah No]

26 minutes ago, shapeshifter said:

But I still don't see how they can ever walk back Bob's mom's racism, no matter how many contrite and awesomely written and acted scenes she has.
I mean, what Bob's mother spewed is nothing like when my 87-year-old mother --having recently lost her husband, home, and mobility-- referred dismissively to one of the army of nursing assistants caring for her as "big and black" (much to my horror) because she couldn't remember her name.

My 92 year old Dad, who lives alone 100 miles from me has a dear old friend come in every week or so to help him out with cleaning, shopping and laundry.  He's pretty independent so he doesn't need anyone more than that yet.  He has known her for at least 30 years from his senior center, where she used to work as a cook.  She is an ADOS woman and does this kind of work with him and others to supplement her retirement income, which isn't much without it.  Note that she and my father had a very long relationship as friends before she ever came to work for him, plus she does this regularly anyway and needs the money.  The only thing I have a problem with in Abishola and Bob's case is that he only just met her and has romantic feelings/intentions with her.  That makes it much different in my opinion.  My father and his friend are still friends outside of her working for him and go to the pub together for a beer every now and then, but their friendship has been going on forever so their relationship roles were already set in stone before she started working for him.  I often call her a saint because she works so hard for him.  My Dad has never had a racist bone in his body to his credit, God bless him.  He has made me promise to give her a nice gift when he passes.  I'm getting choked up now....

[sd dude]

11 hours ago, Yeah No said:

I'm disappointed that the show chose to go the route of making Bob ask Abishola to work for him.  I don't like that this is where his mind would go for a woman he's interested in romantically for all kinds of unequal distribution of power reasons. 

I do think mixing an employer-employee relationship with a burgeoning romantic relationship is fraught with potential problems, but based on his emotional reaction in the previous episode, I suspect Bob's mindset at the time is focused primarily on concern for his mom and her needs and perhaps not so much on the power dynamics of dating relationships.  I can cut the character some slack based on that.  Given how much respect he has for Abishola and her professional talents joined with her compassionate character, she may have been an obvious first choice for him to turn to for help in this emotional family crisis.  The fact that he is sweet on her also might have played a role in his decision, as it is sometimes easier to approach someone we feel trust, confidence and affection toward to ask for help as supposed to a stranger, despite the fact that the close relationship may introduce other complications.  Since money does not seem to be an issue for Bob, and Abishola has limited time available for additional work, a more realistic solution would have been for Abishola to give Bob some recommendations for excellent professionals available for private duty nursing.  But then the writing staff would have had to change the whole script around!

[jewel21]

9 hours ago, sd dude said:

I do think mixing an employer-employee relationship with a burgeoning romantic relationship is fraught with potential problems, but based on his emotional reaction in the previous episode, I suspect Bob's mindset at the time is focused primarily on concern for his mom and her needs and perhaps not so much on the power dynamics of dating relationships.  I can cut the character some slack based on that.  Given how much respect he has for Abishola and her professional talents joined with her compassionate character, she may have been an obvious first choice for him to turn to for help in this emotional family crisis.  The fact that he is sweet on her also might have played a role in his decision, as it is sometimes easier to approach someone we feel trust, confidence and affection toward to ask for help as supposed to a stranger, despite the fact that the close relationship may introduce other complications.  Since money does not seem to be an issue for Bob, and Abishola has limited time available for additional work, a more realistic solution would have been for Abishola to give Bob some recommendations for excellent professionals available for private duty nursing.  But then the writing staff would have had to change the whole script around!

I was just about to post the exact same thing but less eloquently. 

Bob is scared and overwhelmed and has a lot of his plate. He knows Abisola, she was his nurse, and he trusts her. He also remembered that she mentioned she sometimes takes care of people outside the hospital setting. So he asked her for help. It makes sense. I don't think he was thinking past "mom is coming home in a few days and I have no idea what to do" and not so much about their relationship and how the dynamic might change having Abishola be his employee. Anyway, just my two cents. 

[Guest]

I agree it could be very problematic to hire someone you are romantically interested in, but I can also see Bob being stressed and not stopping to think about that at the time. He's a business owner who seems actively involved, his mom just had a stroke, and his likely priority in a caregiver is competence and trustworthiness.  He knows Abishola was a great nurse from his hospital stay and he has enough of a relationship (one kind or another) to trust her to treat his mom well.

[Driad]

If I were Abishola, Bob's family would be a serious negative factor in the possibility of a relationship with him.

[Guest]

55 minutes ago, LucindaWalsh said:

Since the Mom is my least favorite character, followed by the sister in second place, I am hoping this plot is over quick. The casting person needs a swift talking to for those two important to the show hires. I have culled several new shows already this season (I had high hopes for Carole and Unicorn but quickly lost interest) and if this one keeps on with this much interaction with the mother and the sister as main stories, I might have to call it quits.

I don’t think it’s the actors that are the problem. I doubt any actor would be capable of saving the horrible writing Bob’s family has been saddled with.

I’m just pissed that the final episodes of The Good Place might be Mindy St. Claire-less because of this. 

39 minutes ago, Driad said:

If I were Abishola, Bob's family would be a serious negative factor in the possibility of a relationship with him.

In fairness to Bob, the reverse is also true. He’s been followed and they are plotting to move into his home. 

[shapeshifter]

1 hour ago, Dani said:

I don’t think it’s the actors that are the problem. I doubt any actor would be capable of saving the horrible writing Bob’s family has been saddled with.

Definitely, the actors are doing excellent work with the material.
And I get wanting to include that kind of racist dialogue --like turning over the rock to see all the creepy crawlies --and put that kind of speech in a context that shows how hurtful it is.
But if it's going to come out of Bob's mother's mouth, there must be real consequences.
Or maybe the message they were going for was that often there are no real consequences.
Whatever. Not good enough. 
But I will give it a few more episodes to resolve this, because I do think the talent is there.

[Driad]

On 11/9/2019 at 10:56 PM, Dani said:

On 11/9/2019 at 10:09 PM, Driad said:

If I were Abishola, Bob's family would be a serious negative factor in the possibility of a relationship with him.

In fairness to Bob, the reverse is also true. He’s been followed and they are plotting to move into his home. 

If these were real people, I would hope that A & B would have a serious discussion about their expectations about their families: how often to see them, etc.

[CrazyMoon]

On 11/12/2019 at 8:04 PM, Driad said:

If these were real people, I would hope that A & B would have a serious discussion about their expectations about their families: how often to see them, etc.

Bob & Abishola are just getting to know each other....he is hesitant due to a lack of self confidence, she's hesitant because she's been deeply hurt and has built a high wall. This isn't an instant gratification relationship so 'those' discussions will actually happen organically as time goes on. Dottie is a product of her generation who knows nothing about the effects of racism or how to address it. But judging from the last scene, she's finding race matters very little...

[msrachelj]

On 11/5/2019 at 3:50 AM, AnimeMania said:

I thought the episode was very funny. I felt Dottie was deliberately pushing Abishola's buttons, possibly because she wanted more interaction with her own family members. The family members seemed fine to let Abishola handle everything, instead of trying to learn what they should do to help their mother.  I don't think Dottie is racist because I believe she admitted to dating "people of color" and was borderline inappropriate with the 2 male Nigerian workers.

I can understand the son's having some hesitation about caring for their mom as far as bathroom and bathing duties. But the daughter could certainly help with this. Getting older, it really starts to make you angry and worried when you realize your children will take the easy way out. If you are lucky , your own aide. If like most everyone else, you will be thrown in a hell hole nursing home.