S14.E03: Auditions 3

[Commando Cody]

Quote

Auditions 3 (Season 14, Episode 3)

Variety acts of all types and contestants of all ages audition for the chance to win the $1 million prize.

[ams1001]

Thoughts as I watched...

• That first dancer (Marina?) was pretty cool...would have been nice to have seen what she was doing instead of the dumb expression on Julianne's face. (I'm sure we all knew she wasn't going to simply do ballet.)
• The beer magician was fun.
• And then...singer sob story.
• Elderly hand balancer. I was not expecting that. 
• Julianne's pink velvet(?) dress and whatever the hell Gabrielle was wearing that same day (the crop top and the weirdly shaped red...skirt? shorts? I dunno) need to be banished.
• I am choosing to believe I did not see a guy in a giraffe suit on this show.
• Or a walrus suit.
• "Fantastically stupid." That sums up a lot of this show. (And I'm sure all that nonsense wasn't completely planned at all.)
• 13-year-old fangirling over Simon was annoying. (But her planning to buy a guinea pig if she wins was cute.) She can sing, tho.
• Oh, fun - awkward nervous people. (I feel for the anxiety guy, though. He was pretty funny once he got going. I lol'd at the Isaac Newton joke.)
• Bad singer montage. Yay.
• Aw, true love. How sweet. Just sing your damn song already.
• Oh, stop crying. (No, Gabrielle, we don't need to meet his wife.)
• [Re: "dancer" from Japan]  Um....
• Willie and the bird trainer were great.
• Just because he's a kid with a sob story doesn't mean you have to talk to him like you're talking to a toddler, Julianne.
• New Math: [ten minutes from the end + childhood cancer + bullying] = [Golden Buzzer]. (Not to say he isn't talented but I found the dancing while he played distracting.)

[giaNtsandYankees]

My thoughts as the episode went on...

Marina...I'm glad that she did not come on with a sob story. She wanted to be like her brother...her mother wanted her to be more "girly" so signed her up for ballet. I kind of knew that that wasn't the only thing that she was going to bring to the table. But I liked her performance. I'm thinking of getting back into yoga...even though it will never make me contortionist flexible. But it will give me more strength and grace.

When Dom came on, I was worried that it was going to be another card trick act. Not that I don't like those kind of acts, but I want to see something different. I felt like Dom may have dragged a bit, but he picked up. His personality added it to it, I think.

Carmen Carter is 55? She looks great. I'm 37, and I'm hoping that I look that good when I read 55. But 55 is still young in my eyes. I love the INXS song "Never Tear Us Apart." I almost forgot that it was an INXS song when she sang it. I thought that she was stellar. Hopefully she does better in Judge Cuts. I remember how Miss Trish started strong in the Auditions, but fell apart in Judge Cuts. Hopefully that will not be the case for Carmen. Hopefully she's not as obnoxious as Christina Wells was last year...

Sethward...whatever your day job is...please keep it. Unless you were hired by AGT to be comic relief. If that is the case, there's nothing we can do about that...

Charlotte Summers has a great voice from what little I heard of her. There was a knock at my apartment door, I missed much of her segment.

I felt for Kevin, and his dealings with anxiety. I was worried for him when he began, but it got better as he went on. I also loved the Issac Newton joke.

MacKenzie did a great job taking on a Prince song. Howie, this should have been your Golden Buzzer. I do see MacKenzie being strong at ballads. I almost expected him to get a Golden Buzzer when his wife came on stage. Sometimes I worry about there being too many singers on this show, but I like him and Carmen.

When Michael Paul was introduced in the pre-audition package, I knew that there was not a real bird in that covered cage. AGT, you have some work to do...your show is getting a little too predictable. Yet, I was pleasantly surprised to see that it was a ventriloquist comedy act. He was fun.

Commercials end and it is 9:50...which means...it Golden Buzzer Time! I will admit, I expected Tyler to be a singer since that seems to be the act that always gets the golden buzzer from the judges (Julianne might give her GB to a dance act, but I could be wrong about that one). The music seemed to drown out his playing, but he is an okay player from what I heard. You know that they had to throw in a sob story in there, but it is great that he beat cancer. And the Golden Buzzer didn't go to a singer this time, but he did have a story...which seems to get to Simon considering his GB track record.

This episode was a little better than last week's.

Until next week, folks. From the previews, it looks like it might be Terry's week for the Golden Buzzer. Hopefully he'll get us a good one like he had done in Champions.

Edited June 12, 2019 by giaNtsandYankees

[Commando Cody]

Marina: 21 year old dancer.  - Not just a dancer, also a contortionist.  She was pretty impressive. Very graceful and swan-like and then very strong and bendy.  She can probably get TV work as a contortionist. - I think - the guy who was on as a contortionist last year was on The Flash this season, as a creepy contortionist. 

Dom: 26 year old magician. - I liked him.  He is the light sided illusionist. I had to go get myself a beer after that one. I wanted to go sooner, but I didn't want to pause the audition.  

Carmen: 55 year old singer. - Teared up right out of the gate.  She sang an old INXS song.  My opinion is that she could be a great back up singer. She was technically good.  Perhaps not tonally good. Meaning she had a quality to her voice that was unappealing - to me. It isn't something I would want to listen to as a solo act.

Adsen? and Leon: Two old guys from Brazille. - The old guys had a crazy show of strength.  Nobody is going to be taking their shirts off during this act, but it was pretty impressive. 

I have to wonder what goes on with Julianne and her bizarre facial expressions. Sometimes she looked downright PMS crazy lady. 

Sethward?: Seriously? We had to rehash the deranged caterpillar again.  Even though the giraffe act was stupid, he really puts a lot effort into his costumes.  Maybe he should have come back as a butterfly.  That fall was awesome. Splat. I can't believe that guy hasn't seriously injured himself.  Is he a plant? You know, some sort of filler act. Probably works for NBC. 

Charlotte: 13 year old girl singer. It was a good audition. It was nice that there was no back story of "I'm so shy" and then doing weird dancing. 

Kevin: 49 year old comedian.  Has anxiety and agoraphobia, but managed to get over it so he could be here tonight to audition for AGT.  I thought he did pretty well after he got going. I'm not sure I got one of his first jokes, but he got better after he relaxed a little.  I think he's a fan of Steven Wright.  Kevin's punchlines were easy to guess. 

MacKenzie: 31 year old singer.  I don't know what it is with this guy. I felt nothing while he was singing. The start of the song was bland. The middle he belted out the songs, but then he went back to bland at the end.  I just got nothing from his performance.

Did she say Uriah Retriever?: I didn't get it. She or he failed at comedy.

Michael: Exotic bird trainer. - I was not surprised by the reveal. I was expecting something like a parakeet or a canary, something living anyway. Not a puppet.  I knew it wasn't going to be a real bird of prey.  He was pretty good.  I don't know how far he'll get if he doesn't sing, but the jokes were good.

Tyler: 11 year old violinist.  Bullied at school for having cancer.  Final audition of the night.  Obvious golden buzzer.  Whatever the sob story may be, nobody playing violin karaoke is going to win this.  Good for him for getting out there though. 

[kickedinthehead]

Well, that was definitely an improvement over last week's show. 

Marina the Contortionist: I almost forgot about her until I glanced at a recap somewhere online. Like all contortionists (at least on this show), I don't really have an opinion of her one way or the other. At least she wasn't a singer?

Dom the Magician: Didn't "wow" me, but I suppose he had a somewhat more entertaining presence than a lot of the other AGT magicians I've seen. The beer/coaster thing grew old quickly, though. 

Carmen the Singer: A singer who "gave up" because somebody a long time ago told her that she was fat, yet somehow managed to find the courage to record an album that some recruiter came across "audition" for this show. How very original.

Elderly Brasilian balancers: I can't imagine they'll do anything other than a very slight variation of the exact same act, should they manage to move forward. That said... um, originality points (I guess?) for not being "hot"/shirtless like the kind of acts that do this sort of thing usually are.

Sethward: Couldn't find enough acts to fill the two hours this week, eh, AGT?

Charlotte Summers: Teen Girl Singer number ... 3 of this season? I'm sure there are at least a few more to come. 🙄

Kevin Schwartz the Agoraphobic Comic: I wasn't sure about all of the "umm"-ing and "uhh"-ing at first, but I ended up liking him. I tend to enjoy pun comics (sue me).

MacKenzie: Zzz, though he at least sang a nostalgic song of 1990 (albeit not exactly my favorite nostalgic song of 1990) and not, say, John Legend. 

Irritating Lady with the American flag unitard (?) who made ugly, annoying poses to the tune of "The Final Countdown": See 'Sethward'.

Michael Paul (and Willy): I was fooled, too, at first and thought "here's this year's first animal act" (you know one with actual animal/s is coming). That would have been okay, since I usually don't mind animal acts. But I enjoyed the ventriloquism, too (even if he did overdo the "crap" thing a little). Willy's cute; I like his floppy purple hair.

Tyler the Violinist with the Double Sob Story: The Golden Buzzer was 100% predictable (and while it's getting harder and harder to find somebody who WASN'T bullied on this show, it's genuinely terrible if kids made fun of him for having cancer...brats). In all seriousness, I have plenty of experience with a (different kind of) cancer and can't imagine going through all that treatment at such a young age, so kudos to Tyler for making it through that and I hope he stays NED for the rest of his life. And since it can't be said enough... at least he wasn't a singer!

(PS. Please shut up, audience. Producers, nobody cares about some random person saying "Now I'm scared of giraffes" loudly and clearly right as the camera just happens to zoom in on her.)

Edited June 12, 2019 by kickedinthehead

[InternetToughGuy]

Having now finished my post, I sound like a giant jerk 😅 but it's all in good fun.

Off the top of my head, I can remember one act I liked and one act that was OK and the rest was boring as hell. When comparing the show week to week, it feels like I'm a bum sifting through food scraps at the dump - whether it's a half full old can of Spam or a moldy steak, it doesn't really matter, since it's still garbage.

Terry Crews appears to be trapped in a hundred year old silent film, since all he can do is turn to the camera and make a face without saying anything. I can imagine there are a great amount of people out there who really don't know what's going on with an act until Terry imitates a 2 year old's reactions "funny!" "wow!". The judge commentary is on a similar wavelength - I am totally lost without hearing the comedian's opinion on a singer.

Marina Marzepa - Her initials being M&M is quite appropriate, since the girl looked like a dang snack. Aside from her hotness, I thought the act was quite boring. Contortion acts are always so limited, since after every possible kamasutra pose has been done, they'll do it on some furniture and then can't step it up anymore, so they get eliminated. I absolutely despise the bait and switch thing that seems like it is placed in half of the acts - i.e. the boring ballet music alongside the "sneaky tippy toe" like you're a kid trying to get to the living room to watch TV in the middle of the night, then it cuts to a guy yawning in the audience "oh no, the act is actually this zany thing instead!" then cut to Terry going "what?!". It seems I put a lot of thought into that description, especially since my mind was elsewhere during the performance.

Dom Chambers - I appreciate that this guy has the awareness to know that several pitchers of alcohol are required to make it through this show, though for that reason he should have gone on first. I thought the act was OK - him acknowledging the repetitiveness of the trick made it better, but I am not really a fan of magicians, since just like danger acts, everything goes off without a hitch, so why care.

Carmen Carter - Her sob story was that someone thought she was too fat to be a lead singer and apparently couldn't find the resolve to get on the treadmill despite having decades to do so. Her crying at a rejection from 30 years ago makes her thin skin the only thing related to a healthy BMI about her, and it comes far too late. One can only pray Christina Wells doesn't share her diet and exercise plan. Of course I'm being hyperbolic, since she wasn't even very fat, but trying to turn her laziness into something pitiful is beyond irritating. For someone trying to move beyond the label of overweight, I don't know why she'd sing an In-Excess song. Like what I usually say, I have a hard time believing the high school football team will line up in the rainy weather to nab concert tickets to a 55 year old woman who might have to perform while laying in a recliner, so I don't get where any success would come from. Simon's comment of no one buying an album because of the person's looks are stupid and untruthful, though nobody buying her album for any reason at all is quite accurate.

Edson & Leon - I didn't think the act was very impressive, since I could've sworn that old man was 17 (kidding, of course). As much as the usual "it's good for your age" thing is touted on this show, I did think the act was OK, although I hate the songs that get used for these kinds of acts. It's a little annoying when instead of a song being used for background music, they blare a song for the audience to stand up and do some annoying dancing to for the sake of trying to conceal how low energy the act would be without it.

Sethward - This is the kind of hair pulling, teeth grinding shitty act that makes me want to start punching the TV. I don't get the reasoning for wasting a good 10 minutes of screen time on this idiot instead of putting on someone with an actual talent who people would want to tune in to watch again. I'm guessing him wearing the giant walrus teeth as an ode to British dentition made Simon give him a pity vote. Not like an act like him deserves any lenience, but Julianne's rejection of him made her seem like a giant bitch.

Charlotte Summers - Her singing voice, just like every other British act made her sound 50 years old and after seeing her Mother who looked like present day Tutankhamen with a wig doesn't breed great confidence in a long career. Her saying she'd buy a guinea pig if she won the money somehow made the crowd erupt in laughter, though I've given up on trying to understand the mechanics of funny after Jackie Fabulous wasn't pelted in tomatoes.

Kevin Schwartz - He feels right at home on the stage and is somehow able to leave after his performance (faker!). I've always thought "I was diagnosed" is a stupid badge to parade around with, since how that goes is "Hey doc, I'm afraid to leave my house" "Hmm.. I'd say you have a term to describe being afraid to leave your house". Anyways, he's the first comedian of the season and most likely the last to be funny all the way through and to not rely on a sob story for material.

MacKenzie - His last name being unknown is also paying homage to Prince, although I can guarantee that when this show is over, no one will remember his first name either. I think "Denise" is one of the most unappealing female names of all time, though this show has made me take the name "Julianne" into serious consideration.

Yurian Retriever - Having watched (mostly terrible) anime for years, I can say without a doubt that this is Japan's worst export of all time. Like an inbred couple from Kentucky making love, me and my brother started violently headbutting each other out of pure annoyance of how irritating this whole routine was. It's odd how being fat and disgusting has the wide emotional spectrum of being empowering, depressing, or being used for comic relief, depending on the mood.

Michael Paul - Another bait and switch of an act I didn't want to see into an act I really didn't want to see. I find the puppet acts to be quite embarrassing, since there is usually some cringy singing involved. I felt I should've laughed at the Elton John joke he did, but all the material before that was like anesthetic putting every receptor to sleep.

Tyler Butler-Figueroa - Being bullied for having cancer is a sob story not yet seen, though I was still numb to it all the same. It's annoying how none of these bullying stories ever end with the person knocking their bully out or anything along that line, since bullies don't respond to calm talks and hugs. Simon saying "people who are bullied are bullied because they're better than the bully" takes the cake for most idiotic thing said so far. Knowing he got the golden buzzer for the sob story and not the talent made me annoyed (a state of which I am rarely free of, evidently).

Bad episode, bad show, bad everything, but I am looking forward to next week anyways.

Edited June 12, 2019 by InternetToughGuy

[Neet]

Marina Marzepa - As surprising as it was for her "you crane" roots to not lead up to a rendition of Swan Lake, it was even less shocking for this to be the typical "something boring (cue yawning audience)" unfurled into robotic mime dancing with the dropped bass music. There's quite the demand for this combo every year on AGT, despite dubstep music not being very relevant since 2013/14.

Dom Chambers - Hearing about this guy summoning Dos Equis on stage made me think the judges were split, but it's amazing how had a whole round of drinks and didn't even get a buzz. 🤔Anyway, it was a great magic act that refreshingly didn't involve the judges or long monologues, cards, costumes, or any of the usual BS. 

Carmen Carter - How inspiring is it for someone to claim she couldn't get a recording contract due to her size and then apparently not attempt to lose any weight over the next several decades? It's also weird for her to never audition for the show despite being 55 and fully sentient/capable of doing so since the show's inception, unless she purposely waited 10+ years for her story to sound more depressing. Simon said nobody ever bought an album because of how old the singer is. Hmm..how hypocritical a statement, coming from him, since he loves to milk pop acts for all they're worth until they're deemed too old. Man, Susan Boyle must be living through the most awkward teen years imaginable, if that's the case with her as well.

Edson & Leon - The younger guy could've easily passed for 64+, not 54. Perhaps a strategic move to get all of his aging out of the way early to make the act look more impressive. It was impressive, and looked so effortless that the older guy almost seemed like an unwilling participant, but who knows where they can take it from here due to the finite number of poses available.

Sethward - I really loathe the collective audience stupidity of dogshit acts getting cheers and standing ovations. This guy's voice is so damn irritating, I would not weep to see someone bicep curl that ugly mustache off his face. Simon shows what a great mind he has for talent by voting yes despite the act not really consisting of anything. I get that he only roots for these crappy performers under the guise of making """good TV""", but who would ever be entertained by this? Unless the 2 Xs was just a secret message of wanting more female talent, Gabrielle and Julianne were kind enough to hit the X and then stick by it by voting no. You know darn well that Heidi and Mel would've been reactionary enough to hit the X in 5 seconds and then be fully converted to owners of Sethward season passes a minute later.

Charlotte Summers - While it took a while for the initial shock of her not sounding as shrill and whiney as Courtney Hadwin or Grace Vanderwaal to wear off, she was quite talented and had a lot of stage presence. It's such a surprise for a 13 year old girl to be that skilled a singer without any preceding drama, I may need to invent a fake story to myself about her father being deceased in order to cope with the confusion of her not needing a backstory....*sniff* I promised myself I wouldn't cry.... Jokes aside, she was great.

Kevin Schwartz - Can someone clear up why he's Agoura phobic and still lives in California? Hats off to this brave man, and kudos to Simon and Co. for bringing the entire stage and audience to Kevin's backyard to accommodate his needs. That could not have been cheap. This guy was really funny; a breath of fresh air that he had an obvious story that is rife with material and he didn't lean on it for jokes. Even though he only did one-liners, it seems like he would be able to make an entertaining set/routine about one topic. (doesn't have to be the agoraphobia) The deadpan style works well for him.

Mackenzie - Serious question, why did he go to college for two semesters while knowing that he couldn't afford to finish his degree? Without anything in the story to suggest immediate, sudden expenses coming up, it sounded like the guy drained his savings on courses he already knew he wouldn't be able to complete. Nothing else to say about him, really. I don't get why Gabrielle was so excited and insistent to bring his wife on stage, her waving to the crowd and kissing Mackenzie wasted a good several minutes for little reason unless Nielsen has data on how many voyeurs actively watch AGT.

Yurian Retriever - They decided to shuffle the "I'm gross and annoying" act towards the end of the show this time. Maybe the producers figure that everyone's too invested or settled into the episode to mash the FF button at this point. Her being in a bathing suit was the most Asian limb we've seen since last season's winner, haw haw. I don't get why someone unappealing to look at embracing it is supposed to be inherently funny, especially when it hardly ever comes with doing a real performance and it's always dragged out for like 10 minutes with the person begging one of the judges for affection and supposedly being oblivious to how creepy they're being.

Michael Paul - Some of the material was clever and more inventive than a lot of these ventriloquy acts that I find absolutely loathsome, but I didn't laugh at any of it. Perhaps because of the aforementioned reason or because watching this show for 2 hours can leave one feeling battle-scarred. That joke he did about the bird crapping was good the first time and then he did it another two times and ran it into the ground. Of course it helps a lot to go for mass appeal, but these things feel quite formulaic (like most AGT acts, if you've seen a few things in a niche, they will mostly repeat), with the political/pop culture references, the puppet bickering with its controller, etc.. Can't wait for the bird to squawk poetic about each judge individually, that hasn't been done at all.

Tyler Butler-Figueroa - On a side note, the dual last name is kind of a mouthful. His prancing around the stage while playing is reminiscent of martial art moves, so going by Ty-Bow sounds like a much quirkier improvement. Just looking at him walk out to end the show, it was easy to see a sob story was coming. "Let me play you a song on the world's smallest violin" indeed 😄Not trying to be insensitive, it was a depressing story. I guess I can imagine kids at his school thinking his cancer was contagious, but what kind of kids would actively bully him for it? That's so cruel it's almost unbelievable. His performance was good, not fantastic, but all the golden buzzers are almost exclusively reserved for anyone with a tragedy. To the point where soap-opera fans talking about "watching their stories" on TV are probably referring to AGT. I remember there being a violin player on the show a while ago who also had some kind of medical problem, like nerve damage in his arm or something. Who knows what it is about this specific instrument that pulls on so many heartstrings.

The judges continue to be lame. Howie needs to stop promoting non-performers to tour the globe, Simon continuing to act like a loving grandfather is insipid, and Gabrielle/Julianne are beyond annoying standing up and dancing during every audition. I don't get why they're compelled to scream and move around when nobody's looking at them for a few seconds. Also, Terry still does very little for the show as a host. There are infinite camera cuts to the back of his head for just long enough to eek out a "whoa!" response before turning back around, or there's just enough of him in frame of an audition to see him mildly shuffling along to the music like those old-time go-go dancers at a club who are in pods. I like him, but it's hilarious to watch him appear so often and yet do nothing of importance. How did Tyra Banks have so much more presence?

Edited June 12, 2019 by Neet

[ams1001]

5 hours ago, kickedinthehead said:

 I tend to enjoy pun comics (sue me).

Hey, you're not alone. 🙂

[Ellee]

Simon continues to bug me.  He has to be all and say all and it comes off as phoney as all get out.  

That is all. 

[DaphneCat]

3 hours ago, ams1001 said:

9 hours ago, kickedinthehead said:

 I tend to enjoy pun comics (sue me).

Hey, you're not alone. 🙂

He told some of the dumbest jokes I've ever heard but I laughed anyway.  I loved the deadpan delivery and the way he didn't make the entire act about his agoraphobia.  

[Sounder]

First off......I know he's 59 or something now......but Simon dude........a little more treadmill?     Charlotte was Courtney Hadwin II......in fact......they should meet and be a duo.......and appear on agt just to annoy you people.

Sethward is just the kind of zany act that appears from time to time just to let you know they don't actually say yes to everybody.    And the walrus bit with the pratfalls were funny in a bizzaro cartoon way.

It's hard to ignore the tradegy that is Tyler's backstory.   It's hard not to say he got awarded the golden buzzer based on it......except for one thing.......the kid ROCKS on the violin and deserves what's ahead for him.....which is a career......whether he wins or not.    I hope for his continued health.

I think the comic with the one liners likely survives judges cuts.....but I don't see finals for him......kudos for his courage to leave the house.

Yeah I agree that a hand balancing act can only be done so many ways........ I don't condemn it.....because it's hard......especially for older men.   But there's better talent.    Onward

Marina made me cringe....... it's amazing blah blah blah....... we'll see her at least one more time.    I guess some people are just born that way......it's not exactly something you can learn to do.

[Booklady1017]

16 hours ago, ams1001 said:

Thoughts as I watched...

• That first dancer (Marina?) was pretty cool...would have been nice to have seen what she was doing instead of the dumb expression on Julianne's face. (I'm sure we all knew she wasn't going to simply do ballet.)
• The beer magician was fun.
• And then...singer sob story.
• Elderly hand balancer. I was not expecting that. 
• Julianne's pink velvet(?) dress and whatever the hell Gabrielle was wearing that same day (the crop top and the weirdly shaped red...skirt? shorts? I dunno) need to be banished.
• I am choosing to believe I did not see a guy in a giraffe suit on this show.
• Or a walrus suit.
• "Fantastically stupid." That sums up a lot of this show. (And I'm sure all that nonsense wasn't completely planned at all.)
• 13-year-old fangirling over Simon was annoying. (But her planning to buy a guinea pig if she wins was cute.) She can sing, tho.
• Oh, fun - awkward nervous people. (I feel for the anxiety guy, though. He was pretty funny once he got going. I lol'd at the Isaac Newton joke.)
• Bad singer montage. Yay.
• Aw, true love. How sweet. Just sing your damn song already.
• Oh, stop crying. (No, Gabrielle, we don't need to meet his wife.)
• [Re: "dancer" from Japan]  Um....
• Willie and the bird trainer were great.
• Just because he's a kid with a sob story doesn't mean you have to talk to him like you're talking to a toddler, Julianne.
• New Math: [ten minutes from the end + childhood cancer + bullying] = [Golden Buzzer]. (Not to say he isn't talented but I found the dancing while he played distracting.)

I liked the first dancer and her contortionist moves.

The beer magician was fun but seemed a bit one note. I'll have to see him again to know for sure. 

Yeah I was not expecting the elderly hand balancer too. It seemed a bit one note but they were fun to watch. 

I want them to ban Seth the animal guy, I wish I could unsee him and that Japanese dancer lady. 

The 13 year old girl was ok, she didn't bother me and she was very good. 

I felt bad for the anxious comedian guy but he did better after he went along but I don't know if I see him going further. I give him credit for what he is doing though.

The bird trainer ventriloquist guy was ok.

The singer with his wife was good but they were going on about his wife. 

Yeah they always seem to do the GB at the end now. They should change it up so it's not so obvious.

16 hours ago, ams1001 said:

Thoughts as I watched...

• That first dancer (Marina?) was pretty cool...would have been nice to have seen what she was doing instead of the dumb expression on Julianne's face. (I'm sure we all knew she wasn't going to simply do ballet.)
• The beer magician was fun.
• And then...singer sob story.
• Elderly hand balancer. I was not expecting that. 
• Julianne's pink velvet(?) dress and whatever the hell Gabrielle was wearing that same day (the crop top and the weirdly shaped red...skirt? shorts? I dunno) need to be banished.
• I am choosing to believe I did not see a guy in a giraffe suit on this show.
• Or a walrus suit.
• "Fantastically stupid." That sums up a lot of this show. (And I'm sure all that nonsense wasn't completely planned at all.)
• 13-year-old fangirling over Simon was annoying. (But her planning to buy a guinea pig if she wins was cute.) She can sing, tho.
• Oh, fun - awkward nervous people. (I feel for the anxiety guy, though. He was pretty funny once he got going. I lol'd at the Isaac Newton joke.)
• Bad singer montage. Yay.
• Aw, true love. How sweet. Just sing your damn song already.
• Oh, stop crying. (No, Gabrielle, we don't need to meet his wife.)
• [Re: "dancer" from Japan]  Um....
• Willie and the bird trainer were great.
• Just because he's a kid with a sob story doesn't mean you have to talk to him like you're talking to a toddler, Julianne.
• New Math: [ten minutes from the end + childhood cancer + bullying] = [Golden Buzzer]. (Not to say he isn't talented but I found the dancing while he played distracting.)

I forgot to add I liked Carmen the singer too.

[bluepiano]

Better than last week for sure, though that's not saying much.

Marina - very entertaining, though wondering what else she can do that's different next time.

Dom - Pleasantly surprised he wasn't doing card tricks, because after Shin Lim, it would be hard to be impressive. Have actually never seen a trick like that before, so points for originality.

Edson and Leon - there's always at least one act that goes through based on their age, but I like them a lot more than the geriatric dance acts that usually get that spot.

Charlotte - natural to make comparisons to Courtney Hadwin, but I liked her way more. Technically a much better singer. Nice control of her voice, never going over-the-top shouty like a lot of young singers who try do blues or soul. Actually, Courtney was never much of a singer. It was all about her spazzy dancing and the "I'm so shy" BS. Never liked her shtick.

Carmen - Singing did nothing for me, and I was put off by the blatant play for sympathy with the "he said I was fat" story. But standard procedure for this show. (Actually, a number of "plus size" singers have been very successful)

Sethward had to be a plant. Though actually, he was no worse than some of the other Gong Show type acts that've gone through (Yumbo Dumbo). Howard Stern always loved the stupid acts.

Ventriloquist - Fairly clever material. Though I didn't need to see the poop joke more than once.

Kevin the comedian - Okay, yet another deadpan Steven Wright wannabee. But a couple of jokes were funny, which is more than I can say for Vickie Barbolak

Golden Buzzer Violin Kid - We know by now that the GB is mostly reserved for the feel good stories. Seems like a nice kid, been through a lot, so OK, good for him and his Mom. But the playing was just not that great.

Does anyone else think that when Julianne has her hair swept back she's a dead ringer for Miley Cyrus?

Edited June 12, 2019 by bluepiano

[Vermicious Knid]

Charlotte was definitely a better singer than the kid acts of the last few seasons.

I fell asleep watching this, even though it was on DVR, and then when I woke up it took me 20 minutes to remember I had even been watching it.

[helenamonster]

You could definitely see Dom's nerves, but I thought he was fun and am looking forward to seeing what other tricks he's got.

I'm reserving judgment on how Terry is as a host until we get to the live shows. What made Nick stand out, for me, was how he conducted himself on those: great at hyping up the acts who had a good night, always ready to lend a shoulder and some encouragement to the ones that had missed the mark, and constantly keeping things moving and energetic. Will be interesting to see if Terry's got those very unique skills as well.

[silversage]

Did someone tell Gabrielle and Julianne to dress like Mel and Heidi?

[giaNtsandYankees]

1 hour ago, silversage said:

Did someone tell Gabrielle and Julianne to dress like Mel and Heidi?

Hrm...I haven't paid attention to notice. But I am quite certain we haven't seen Gabrielle's boobs...or her in lingerie with a sheer sheath over it like we had with Mel.

I did notice this (which I forgot to mention), Julienne did ask, "What just happened?!"

[Sounder]

I bet people thought Gabby was gonna be the tougher more opinionated one of the two new ladies...... but look how quickly she passed the buck to Julianne after both of them buzzed Sethward the Walrus......and after Simon and Howie both said yes......Gabby QUICKLY jumped in with her no.and pointed to Julianne....."SHE can save you".      How many times have we seen the judges cave in this situation?    The audience is pushing for it......you have Sethward jumping up and down on stage yelling "IT'S MY DREAM".........and to her credit......she stuck to her NO!     Guess who the tough one is?    I'm actually liking her.

[Babalooie]

On 6/12/2019 at 1:32 AM, kickedinthehead said:

it's getting harder and harder to find somebody who WASN'T bullied on this show

Is there anyone who WASN'T bullied?  I guess we used to call it "picked on".

[Babalooie]

19 hours ago, bluepiano said:

Does anyone else think that when Julianne has her hair swept back she's a dead ringer for Miley Cyrus?

Now that she's had her lips plumped up, maybe yes.  

[Taeolas]

I liked the beer magician; I think he's been on Fool Us (or the trick has been) but he performed it well. Hopefully he can shake things up for the next rounds. Not as good as Shim but very watchable. 

The ballarina/contortionist was a good opener, and I was impressed by her act. 

The only other act I really liked was the bird ventriloquist. He's not as strong as the previous AGT winners, but it was a fun act (that didn't depend on singing as well). He doesn't seem to have much of a range of voices, but his banter was pretty on time. And while I normally don't like potty humour, I do think his crap-jokes went on just far enough. IIRC he did it three times, and had different triggers each time so it was a bit of a surprise, so it worked. A 4th time would probably have been too far for me. (And we didn't need a close up of it regardless)

[MissSunshine]

check out http://sethwardallison.com he's done stuff on jimmy kimmel live and such. He was probably hired by nbc

[saber5055]

57 minutes ago, MissSunshine said:

check out http://sethwardallison.com he's done stuff on jimmy kimmel live and such. He was probably hired by nbc

Oh, his video is so definitely NOT funny. At least to me. I give him a big NO from here to eternity. But thanks for the link. It's shocking that he can actually make a living doing that. (Or at least he says he does.)

[SG11]

OK, I can at least say this week was better than the last 2. But as already noted, that’s not saying much.

I loved the ballerina contortionist. It’s been done, but she was interesting, hot, entertaining, sexy, athletic, impressive and um, hot. My new favorite act. She doesn’t have a chance.

The beer magician was OK, except for the times I saw him reaching for the beers behind the table. He wasn’t very professional.

Old guys... impressive strength. They were good. Won’t go far.

Latest teen singer. Nice voice. Not great but very good. No histrionics or stupid story, that’s a plus.

Fat lady singer. That “he told me I was fat so I never sang again” turned me off so fast I didn’t care what she did. Did it ever occur to you that when you tried out, that’s what being a performer was and maybe skip a few milkshakes? And this tired bullying act is making me ill. That excuse needs to stop. Oh, by the way, I was actually surprised that she wasn’t a very good singer, either. I guess all that stuff was an excuse.

AGT has to stop the fake goofball plant acts like that idiot in the  costumes. Is there anybody that comes on that isn’t a plant any more? Horrible, horrible waste of time. Kinda mean move by Julianna too.

Agoraphobia- he was packaged waaaaaay too much to be the real thing. He didn’t have to look like that. His nonstyle wasn’t interesting and his material wasn’t funny at all.

VentriloquistBird- a weak schtick to start off, but funny material. Hoping for a little improvement there.

Gross Asian lady. Stupid. 

Prince singer. He was OK. I was impressed he did the song without falsetto. Another one that might be better with more appearances. The wife thing was tedious. And, hate for how this sounds, but is Gabbys main job to have her eyes bug out of her head and lose her mind for every black act?

Golden Buzzer. OK, so the rule is, disability + bullying story + minimal talent = Buzzer at the end of the night. One thing I’ll say is now that they don’t pick Golden Buzzers based on any ability whatsoever, having these acts skip a level or two doesn’t make us sit through how weak they are more times than necessary.

Overall, better. Not good. It’s weird that there’s been 3 weeks including Golden Buzzers and I can’t think of a few acts that are sure thing Finalists. These are all semifinal washouts so far.

And with plugging in time for the stupid animal guy falling all over, I wonder if they are out of acts. And of course their refusal to show any actual real people fail or get a no or are disappointed, there is zero, zero realism factor going on, just all packaged for comfort. Weak.

[Lonesome Rhodes]

The 2nd hour until the defecating doll was excruciating.

The liquid magician's pacing needed improvement, and the man did step it up towards the end.  A definite "yes" for me.

The two AA belters could be found at innumerable churches on any given Sunday.  Nothing special.  The emo? girl is utterly forgettable, as well.

It's difficult for me to believe GB kid's tonality was not subject to some type of autotune shenanigans.  

Besides being the best act edited into this ep, the use of "Uptown Funk" harkened back to when AGT used it for outros to wonderful effect a few short years ago.  I blame Rio.  

I thought the comedian was super dry.  Then I realized I was sitting in a desert.  CUE LAUGH TRACK.  Seriously, if any act ever deserved the, "Are you really worth a million dollars?" treatment, this dude is at the head of the line.  Unfortunately, the Schwartz is with us.  

Grudging props to Julianne for how she handled the, "NO!!!!!!" for Sethward, the Gong Show reject.  

[Cowgirl]

Dear Sethward:  Please get off my television and stay off.  I command you to cease and desist from showing up on AGT, the Gong Show, or any other show.  You need professional help. 

P.S. Last year you tried to tell a sob story where your father or family did not support you.  I don't blame them. 

Edited June 17, 2019 by Cowgirl