S08.E07: Can I Trust You?

[ShowFan]

11 minutes ago, humbleopinion said:

Pizza, sushi or wings?

Feed yourself, you giant annoying manchild. I’d have so put him in his place if he talked to me like that...I don’t have Stephanie’s patience

[humbleopinion]

2K were doing a white puzzle....but we got your drift....

Will and Jas’ dinner guests were going to play cards after their meal..

AJ and Sexy AF were going home to do the Humpty Dumpty

Puke and his posse were texting catty comments about Kate and her look alike blond bland gfs.

Edited February 14, 2019 by humbleopinion

[Soup333]

22 minutes ago, humbleopinion said:

To quote Ricky Bobby ...FISHBOWL

Will: I think it would be sexy if  you wore your hair hair pulled back, glasses...a librarian look

Jas: You like nerds?  Really?

Will: Yes.

Jas, instead of confronting and questioning his fishbowl answer pull your hair back in a bun, don thick framed glasses and hope it revs Will’s motor....apparently what you are doing is not working..

I have no doubt Will said the mildest thing he could think of just to gauge her reaction. No way anyone is sharing their darkest fantasy on camera (unless that’s it). Librarian dress up is pretty mild as things go. 

Again Jasmine fails. One of the most important parts of sharing fantasies with a partner is feeling safe enough to do so without fear of rejection or judgement. Will doesn’t have that safe space with Jasmine and I doubt they’ll ever get to that place. 

[humbleopinion]

We do not need to see AJ’s gut anymore...the bright blue did noting but enhanced its rotundness.

AJ should consider getting healthy meals home delivered  a couple times a week instead of eating out every meal to get his pot belly and double chinny chin chin under control....especially now that fatherhood is a real possibility....

AJ looks old for 37....he looks like 47 years old and acts like a 3 year old....

[Empress1]

46 minutes ago, Soup333 said:

I have no doubt Will said the mildest thing he could think of just to gauge her reaction. No way anyone is sharing their darkest fantasy on camera (unless that’s it). Librarian dress up is pretty mild as things go. 

Again Jasmine fails. One of the most important parts of sharing fantasies with a partner is feeling safe enough to do so without fear of rejection or judgement. Will doesn’t have that safe space with Jasmine and I doubt they’ll ever get to that place. 

Exactly. Her response to Will's (very tame) librarian fantasy was basically "Ew, are you serious?" Even if she's not into it, her reaction leaves much to be desired. It's like she sneers at everything he says or does.

[princelina]

19 hours ago, Racj82 said:

Once again every reaction to AJ continues to not match mine. It's a whole lot of nothing. He's not used to being in a relationship or communication in the way he should be. But none of this should be generating the concern that it does. All this reads to me is that there isn't actually much drama here so let's dial in on something minute.

Yes, Luke is garbage.

I agree with you about AJ - it's like Danielle refusing to tell Bobby she loved him (on camera) or Ashley not wanting to change her name!  I have no response about Luke - just kept that line in there because it can't be said enough 🙂

9 hours ago, OnTime said:

Sadly the producers will have them decided to stay together on "Decision Day" which now seems to be part of the contract  process. The experts just love to congratulate themselves with champagne for the successful matches.

When was the last time anyone wanted a divorce on Decision Day? Neil Season 3? (other than the bust ups of Heather/Derek, Molly/Jon)

9 hours ago, Crazy Bird Lady said:

Yes, it's obvious they've found some sort of contractual bind to force MAFS participants to choke down their "spouse's" company until *after* Decision Day. 

This is what I don't understand.  I get that they want to have couples stay together, but it is supposed to be an "experiment" after all, and sometimes experiments don't work out.  They hit gold the first season, IMO, with a couple who stayed together, one who got divorced, and one who was a mystery until decision day.  Don't any of these producers have eyes, ears, brains or feelings like real people?  One of the best show moments ever for this viewer was Sam wanting to stay together and Neil opting for divorce!  Do they not get that we'd all like to see Luke get dumped in the most humiliating way possible?  Or that we can all see Will and Jasmine are not a fit and won't have a problem with them saying "Oh well" at the end of this?  Every couple "working out" is NOT the way to make the best show.  And they have a few who stayed together and even have kids and spin-offs, which gives them a premise to keep on, and that's all they really need.

1 hour ago, Soup333 said:

I have no doubt Will said the mildest thing he could think of just to gauge her reaction. No way anyone is sharing their darkest fantasy on camera (unless that’s it). Librarian dress up is pretty mild as things go. 

She should be thankful he's not making her dress up like a doughnut!!!

[humbleopinion]

Thank you for ruining my daily donut jones

Tristan in Dunkin underpants....yikes

Oatmeal from now on....

[2727]

2 hours ago, Claire Voyant said:

Seems like he was determined to not get up and go munch on something until her game was over. 

Because then he'd be .... eating alone!

[Neurochick]

Kate’s friends were telling Kate that the longer she stays with Luke, the worse it will be for her.  She wants to be married, Luke wants to stay on the show.  He doesn’t want the marriage to work, he wants to stay on the show.  Kate thinks Luke wants to work it out with her, but he wants to stay on the show.   

The longer this asshole drags it out, the more hopeful Kate will be, and then he’ll pull the rug out from under her.

[Jack Sampson]

2 hours ago, ShowFan said:

Hmm, am I the only one who regularly syncs her phone with the computer and files away all photos into neatly organized albums in the computer drive (not in Photos)? I only carry on my phone what i need to have currently. The rest is tucked away nicely 🙂

What happens when someone gets curious about the Forbidden Folder of Mystery?

2 hours ago, Soup333 said:

I have no doubt Will said the mildest thing he could think of just to gauge her reaction. No way anyone is sharing their darkest fantasy on camera (unless that’s it). Librarian dress up is pretty mild as things go. 

Again Jasmine fails. One of the most important parts of sharing fantasies with a partner is feeling safe enough to do so without fear of rejection or judgement. Will doesn’t have that safe space with Jasmine and I doubt they’ll ever get to that place. 

Jas was expecting Will's fantasy to be getting her pregnant while writing checks to pay 100% of the bills.

[LuvMyShows]

12 hours ago, bichonblitz said:

I wonder how Keith would feel if Kristine had her ex's dick pics all over her phone. 

Good point!  I'm surprised she didn't ask him that.

[LuvMyShows]

9 hours ago, Soup333 said:

I’m gonna defend Kate for just a minute because what she and Luke described was 180 apart. He made it seem as if she’s belligerently drunk at night when she gets in bed and forces herself on him. If the roles were reversed I really think there would be concern with the way he’s painting her.

What Kate said is that they’re laying next to each other, cuddling and spooning and their heads are next to each other. It feels “natural” to her that they’d kiss in that situation. In other words, she’s describing what we’ve seen them do in bed. She said she’s getting mixed signals from him and I think she is. He’s treating her one way, leading her on to believe there’s a chance while simultaneously telling her he’s not attracted to her AND belittling her behind her back. I have no doubt she’s incredibly confused.

I could not understand why Dr. Pepper didn't pick up on this and ask about it.  In order for Puke's to be true, Kate must be coming to bed rip roaring drunk almost every night, and even he didn't accuse her of that.   

[LuvMyShows]

6 hours ago, aphroditewitch said:

Except production and the network did not have to keep this going nor did production have to enable Luke's abuse. 

Unpopular opinion here...while Puke is a dick, a loser, an asshole, someone who refuses to take responsibility and instead tries to deflect it onto the other person, and a coward, I do not see how he is an abuser.  Not every bad thing someone does in a relationship falls into the category of abuse. 

[spunky]

9 hours ago, aphroditewitch said:

There is more going on with him than the attraction issue. Just look at how he tried to claim Keith was an alcoholic too. Luke goes after anyone in an effort to hurt them. 

He definitely likes hurting people. I think something happened to him in his past that was super hurtful, so now he has a "get them before they get you" attitude. If he was my client I would be having so much fun trying to figure him out. 

[Ilovepie]

1 hour ago, princelina said:

I get that they want to have couples stay together, but it is supposed to be an "experiment" after all, 

I think the “experiment” ended when Dr. Cilona exited stage right. It became a reality tv soap opera only when it moved exclusively to Lifetime......

Despite that, I think it’s pretty telling that two of the three couples from season 1 were successful (I know about Courtney & Jason possibly splitting but they were together for years so I still consider it a successful pairing). I agree that forcing people to say we want to stay married on D day is really stupid when the audience can see that it is not going to work any longer than the reunion show(or possibly as soon as the last drop of champagne has been chugged).  It just makes them all look stupid.

[Yeah No]

8 hours ago, aphroditewitch said:

What would happen to Kate is she stood up for herself? Exactly what happened to Heather during the season 4. The show would have minimized why Luke was so awful the way they did with Derek. Kate would have gotten the same awful edit that Heather received and been harassed and threatened online. And given the gaslighting from Luke, he would have turned it around on her and claimed she was the one verbally abusing him. And the show would have let him because they have already watched him verbally and emotionally abuse her and have done nothing and they let him call her an alcoholic and barely challenged him on that issue. 

OMG, YES - Thank you - you GET it!  I said something like this in another thread yet it got pooh-poohed by some.  But this is exactly what has happened to a few women on this show when they get matched with a creep.  The show finds a way to make THEM look bad and the creep look good.  It didn't just happen with Heather, but others too, like Sheila, Amber, even Davina to some degree.  And you're 100% right that them barely challenging Luke on calling Kate an alcoholic is yet another instance of that exact type of thing.  Even the "challenge" from Pastor Cal came off as weak and ineffective, plus as someone else pointed out, why didn't he tell Kate she shouldn't stand for that kind of abuse?  It's just so screwed up and reprehensible.

[Gem 10]

22 minutes ago, spunky said:

He definitely likes hurting people. I think something happened to him in his past that was super hurtful, so now he has a "get them before they get you" attitude. If he was my client I would be having so much fun trying to figure him out. 

I think it’s in him to be devious and cruel.  Why?  I have no idea.  What say you “Yeah No”?  Maybe you picked up something the experts didn’t.

[Kiss my mutt]

Jasmine reacted as if Will were sexually deviant. She  just can’t let this man be with all the negativity, both verbal and non. Will is being a good sport going through the motions with that shrew. Too bad those two can’t switch partners with Kate and Luke though I’m not sure I’d wish him on anyone. 

[Yeah No]

6 hours ago, Ilovepie said:

The smart thing to do would be to play somewhat nice but move out. Then pretend to "try" for the camera (a la Danielle from Danielle and Cody). Or even, stay in the airbnb but go about your life and wait for Decision Day. I don't care. But no, she is constantly hanging on him, giving him chances and puppy dog eyes. It's her attitude that makes her seem pathetic. Girl needs to get some gumption and confront him. Not just say "we turned the corner" and "you just don't know how to say things right." 

Re: Kate - I have seen the "puppy dog eyes".  I get it, and it makes no sense based on the way Luke is treating her. I think there is an explanation for this that would make her behavior understandable.  She seems to be giving him as many mixed signals as he is giving her.  If you cover one eye you will see both of them being nicey nicey to each other, rolling in bed, nice hugs, Luke looking at her affectionately, Kate's puppy dog eyes adoring him while he sleeps, etc.  But if you cover the other eye you'll see Puke being more insulting and abusive than any guy ever on this show and Kate standing up for herself questioning Puke on his abusive comments. 

I think Kate is just riding Luke's roller coaster right now and as a result I don't think she knows which end is up.  It's not because she's stupid, it's because he's spinning her head around so much she's lost all perspective.  And that's exactly what he wants to do.  He gives with one hand and takes away with the other.  Gives hope, dashes hope.  She's like Pavlov's dog by now waiting for another tidbit, and putting up with any amount of pain in order to get it.  This is yet ANOTHER thing that abusers do to their abusees to keep control over them.  Walk a mile in her shoes, I say, before judging her.

Edited February 14, 2019 by Yeah No

[Gem 10]

5 hours ago, seacliffsal said:

I think Luke is surprised that people/experts challenged him on his comments.  He thought he was getting away with his backstabbing and "gaslighting" of Kate.  He has been shown to drink as often as anyone else on the show with the exception of having water when he and Kate went out after Dr. Pepper confronted him about his comments.  And, I may be way off base here, I do not understand how anyone who had issues with other people drinking would buy them three bottles of wine that he had obviously already talked about with Kate (she said to him that she remembered he mentioned the label when they spoke about it previously).  Also very telling, he told Dr. Pepper that he thought Kate drank too much because she drank more than he did, so by his own acknowledgement-he drinks (and it's doubtful that Kate drank more than he did, he was trying to come up with a reason he said Kate drank too much).

I think that the new highlight of this show for me is whenever someone calls Luke on his statements and actions and he looks like a deer in the headlights as he tries to figure out how to justify/explain his statements...

If everyone notices, every few seasons they have someone who plays the mind games.  Jessica Castro, the blonde who hated smoking, Davina,Ashley, the nut with the candles, Kate, Molly, etc., can’t remember them all.   

[aphroditewitch]

54 minutes ago, LuvMyShows said:

Unpopular opinion here...while Puke is a dick, a loser, an asshole, someone who refuses to take responsibility and instead tries to deflect it onto the other person, and a coward, I do not see how he is an abuser.  Not every bad thing someone does in a relationship falls into the category of abuse. 

It is abuse because the things he says are intended to chip away at Kate. Many people say mean things to their partner but abuse takes it to a whole new level. He fits the criteria of an emotionally abusive person for example he places unreasonable expectations on Kate, he acts superior to Kate and everyone, he invalidates her as a person, and he is deliberately creating problems. The last of which we saw in this week's episode. He told producers that Kate has a drinking problem. When asked by Dr. Pepper, he says the same thing. But when asked by Kate to give an example, he can't because she likely doesn't have a drinking problem. A person who had a legitimate concern would be able to cite several examples. Instead Luke just defaulted to the claim that she drinks more than him then told a story about an alleged friend who died causing him to wait to drink. The problem being that pictures  have surfaced of Luke drinking several years earlier than he claimed. He also also repeated claimed that Kate pressure him to kiss her but then when she was asked about it, the situation was very different. Kate isn't the one who has been caught in numerous lies, Luke has, so her version of events has more credibility. 

Contrast that to Jasmine and Will. Jasmine has said some crappy things but none of it seems to fit the criteria of abuse. 

[Yeah No]

24 minutes ago, Gem 10 said:

I think it’s in him to be devious and cruel.  Why?  I have no idea.  What say you “Yeah No”?  Maybe you picked up something the experts didn’t.

I think all of us here pick up on things the so-called "experts" missed.  I pegged Luke as a classic narcissist on week two but I am not sure now.  I have known people that have acted like Luke before and I think he has some kind of disorder but I'm not sure which one right now.  If I think I've figured it out I'll post about it.

[Soup333]

18 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

I think all of us here pick up on things the so-called "experts" missed.  I pegged Luke as a classic narcissist on week two but I am not sure now.  I have known people that have acted like Luke before and I think he has some kind of disorder but I'm not sure which one right now.  If I think I've figured it out I'll post about it.

I was thinking about this earlier. I’ve been saying Luke was a psychopath ever since week two when I saw that dead eye expression in a preview but I don’t know if that’s the proper term for him. I’m not sure he is just a narcissist as I’ve experienced them. If he were I’d think Kate’s constant flattery would score her some points with him, if only for the short term. It may be that she’s playing the game (I hope this is the case) and he knows that she knows he’s full of it. What I know for sure is that he’s cruel, manipulative and dishonest, among other things. 

I don’t have much hope that Kate is playing the long con here BUT she was clearly disgusted when she saw that he’d labeled someone a dirty, nasty skank in his contact list. That led to him telling another likely lie, that it was work related. 

[aphroditewitch]

31 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

I think all of us here pick up on things the so-called "experts" missed.  I pegged Luke as a classic narcissist on week two but I am not sure now.  I have known people that have acted like Luke before and I think he has some kind of disorder but I'm not sure which one right now.  If I think I've figured it out I'll post about it.

I think he has some BPD traits but he also might be a dual diagnosis. 

[ChiCricket]

12 hours ago, SnackyCakes14 said:

When Will was describing what he's in to, I was cringing at Jasmine's facial expressions and attitude toward him.  So you want him to take the lead, but then mock him and look skeptical about what he finds attractive. Has she seriously never heard of guys liking the "sexy librarian" look? 

Yes, that was cringe worthy. She really put him down about that. Jeez, it's not like he asked for a three way or something, he just suggested she wear glasses and put her hair up.

[humbleopinion]

Jas again fails spectacularly at being playful and jokey when she tries to tease Will about his sex fantasy.

She doesn’t hit the right notes, seems incapable of light hearted banter, always coming off as judgemental, confrontational and snippy....

Jasmine’s not so subtle body language...

Will.I.Am right in front of you, I like you but cannot stop myself from nagging, picking and embarrassing you by exposing your bad habits in front of friends and family....I am hot to trot...All lanes are open...Green light...the runways have been cleared for take off...why aren’t you all over me?

Will sighs.....rolls over...away from Jas.

Edited February 14, 2019 by humbleopinion

[humbleopinion]

Let’s spotlight Kate.

She is an adult and is responsible for herself and her actions....but why is she so oblivious to those trying to help her?

How she is edited for the show is not in her control....

That said...

In as much as Puke is vile in his treatment of Kate, her lack of fight and push back infuriates a growing number in the audience.

Her friends, the production crew, Pepper all try to get the message across that she is being maligned,repeatedly insulted,and manipulated by Puke...and it is sickening to watch.

Her mooning and puppy dog eyes at Puke  is nauseating.

Her inability to articulate to Puke any anger and demand for an on camera apology for his “repulsed and dead inside” comment, false accusations to the crew of being an alcoholic is frustrating...

Puke is allowed to hem and haw...and not make an apology to her on film.

Why is he allowed to skate along and not ask for forgiveness to her?

The show is killing itself by the mismatch of these 2.

Allowing Puke to get away with his toxic behavior and Kate’s passive and tepid responses to the indignities he heaps on her is killing any affection for this show.

Edited February 14, 2019 by humbleopinion

[lids]

Yeah, the Kate is being forced by production to keep up the charade or get a bad edit argument doesn’t really work for me because Kate is still on the after shows talking the same way. By this point, she knows the public is heavily on her side. She can speak up at any time now or at least give facial expressions to let us know she’s silently furious. See Jasmine. Blink twice if you’re being threatened Kate! 

She also has an ex-boyfriend who talked about their relationship publicly and he seems like a douche, so what made her put up with that relationship? There was no production pressure then.

You could tell when her friends were talking to her that they’re used to Kate’s bad relationship choices. At one point when the friend was asking her why she believes Luke when he says conflicting things about drinking, the friend said, “I mean, yes, we know you’re nice and like to give people the benefit of the doubt, but...” And the friend kind of rolled her eyes. I picture her friends having to put up with Kate’s lack of common sense quite often.

Jasmine comments about the sexy librarian theme were so weird to me. That look has nothing to do with nerds. The sexy librarian is supposed to be about subdued sexuality lurking under the surface. There’s also power and intelligence linked with that persona. Not geeky, insecure, lack of sex appeal nerdiness like Jasmine was portraying it. It would be like if a boyfriend/fake husband said they liked the sexy nurse look and the girlfriend talked about how she hates the sight of blood. Jasmine continues to lack insight on human nature.

[Soup333]

12 minutes ago, lids said:

Jasmine comments about the sexy librarian theme were so weird to me. That look has nothing to do with nerds. The sexy librarian is supposed to be about subdued sexuality lurking under the surface. There’s also power and intelligence linked with that persona. Not geeky, insecure, lack of sex appeal nerdiness like Jasmine was portraying it. It would be like if a boyfriend/fake husband said they liked the sexy nurse look and the girlfriend talked about how she hates the sight of blood. Jasmine continues to lack insight on human nature.

They might be a better match if his fantasy was to have her in pigtails and a little plaid uniform. She wants to be a little girl with Daddy taking care of her so it’s not much of a stretch. 

[Yeah No]

8 hours ago, aphroditewitch said:

I think he has some BPD traits but he also might be a dual diagnosis. 

Yeah I was leaning toward BPD and a dual diagnosis myself.

[Gem 10]

7 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

Yeah I was leaning toward BPD and a dual diagnosis myself.

Which means what?

[aphroditewitch]

52 minutes ago, lids said:

Yeah, the Kate is being forced by production to keep up the charade or get a bad edit argument doesn’t really work for me because Kate is still on the after shows talking the same way. By this point, she knows the public is heavily on her side. She can speak up at any time now or at least give facial expressions to let us know she’s silently furious. See Jasmine. Blink twice if you’re being threatened Kate! 

Unfiltered  is also heavily edited and I think was filmed before the season aired, so Kate doesn't have any public reaction to go on. Even if Kate accurately called out Luke's abusive behavior, it would not air. 

[Booger666]

9 hours ago, Gem 10 said:

I think it’s in him to be devious and cruel.

Luke is definitely cruel, but I think that’s just his nature and he isn’t being devious about it.  He seems to get off on putting others down to make himself feel better.  It’s really immature and he has the maturity of a 13 year old. 

I understand why he thinks he needs to put others down to make himself look better because he is a pathetic loser.  It cracks me up that he describes his job as “hustler”.  A hustler is a behavior and plenty of teachers, sales people, construction workers, etc are hustlers because they work really hard at their jobs.  He calls himself a hustler because he hasn’t had any success and can’t list a job or career.  At his age it is pretty pathetic.  

Edited February 14, 2019 by Booger666

[lids]

The other participants have made negative comments about Luke’s behavior on Unfiltered and Kate could see that the matchmakers made negative comments about Luke during the show. Still no smack down from her.

[Gem 10]

Production had three .. then added Puke & Kate.  We all know there is something mentally wrong with him, which is making every uncomfortable, so, throw those two off and call it a day.  How much more can we take of that face and his crazy ass?

[aphroditewitch]

1 minute ago, lids said:

The other participants have made negative comments about Luke’s behavior on Unfiltered and Kate could see that the matchmakers made negative comments about Luke during the show. Still no smack down from her.

The show is complicit in Luke's abuse. They aren't going to let Kate be the one to call it out on their show. Her face tells a different story than her words. That is the face of someone who know the show put her through hell for nothing. Their storyline doesn't make the show more interested it actually makes it harder to watch.  The matchmakers have made weak criticisms of Luke at best, none have gone far enough to put their own paychecks on the line. 

[Empress1]

20 minutes ago, Booger666 said:

Luke is definitely cruel, but I think that’s just his nature and he isn’t being devious about it.  He seems to get off on putting others down to make himself feel better.  It’s really immature and he has the maturity of a 13 year old. 

I understand why he thinks he needs to put others down to make himself look better because he is a pathetic loser.  It cracks me up that he describes his job as “hustler”.  A hustler is a behavior and plenty of teachers, sales people, construction workers, etc are hustlers because they work really hard at their jobs.  He calls himself a hustler because he hasn’t had any success and can’t list a job or career.  At his age it is pretty pathetic.  

He's a civil engineer. According to LinkedIn he's only been doing the speed dating thing for 8 months in addition to his engineering full-time job.

Also according to LinkedIn, Kate works in Newtown Square (at least that's where her employer is), which means she has a shitty reverse commute if the AirBnB they booked is in or near Center City (which it is, I just can't get a handle on which neighborhood). I would be furious if they made me move into an AirBnB they picked for me without taking that into account.

Edited February 14, 2019 by Empress1

[Gem 10]

I watch and blog at the same time so I don’t see everything.  The next day, I watch intently and HAVE to fast forward when Puke is on.  Is this enjoyable?  This is what I wait all week for .. to get aggravated?  I wouldn’t watch at all, but I like the other couples.

[Neurochick]

10 hours ago, LuvMyShows said:

Unpopular opinion here...while Puke is a dick, a loser, an asshole, someone who refuses to take responsibility and instead tries to deflect it onto the other person, and a coward, I do not see how he is an abuser.  Not every bad thing someone does in a relationship falls into the category of abuse. 

Thank you for this.  The reason I don't think it's abuse is because we are seeing a small, edited piece of their lives.  I think Luke is an asshole, people can be assholes, people can say mean things, but it doesn't make them abusive.  

As for Kate, she signed up for a reality show, and it's the same with every reality show, the show owns your image for a few years, they have the right to do whatever they want to do with your image; people who were on different reality shows say the same thing.  I am sure that people read that contract and say, "no fucking way."   

I have watched a few YouTube videos made by a young woman who was on a reality show (Bad Girls Club) and she said the people who got the bad edits were the ones who didn't follow the producers leads.  

If anybody is abusive in this situation, it's the show but these people signed on to be on it....

[Elizzikra]

Quote

 I think there is an explanation for this that would make her behavior understandable. 

I wonder if Kate's father was abusive to her mother. That would explain her total estrangement from her father after the divorce and could also explain the douchey ex-boyfriend and her tolerance of her current douchy husband.

Speaking of... Luke's beard makes him look like he is in some cut-rate witness protection program. I wonder if he grew it that way for the show so if things didn't go his way, he could shave it and be less instantly recognizable after?

I like Kate. I think she is gorgeous and in no way chubby. Someone on another thread said she looks like Blaire Warner from Facts of Life and I totally agree. I don't think her voice is the most pleasant one I've ever heard but she can't help that. She seems sweet. I LOVED that she calmly asked Luke for examples of her "problem drinking" - I thought that was the perfect way to handle the situation and demonstrate that he was trying to gaslight her. I really hope she gets out of this marriage and finds someone who will treat her well and cherish her for who she is.

[Booger666]

46 minutes ago, Empress1 said:

He's a civil engineer. According to LinkedIn he's only been doing the speed dating thing for 8 months in addition to his engineering full-time job.

Per Linkedin Luke’s work experience shows no promotions or job growth.  He doesn’t name an employer but uses generic “Engineering Firm”.  He actively follows is a well known temp agency.  He states he is a certified Professional Engineer, but a search of the state board for his last name came up with nothing. 🤷‍♀️ My educated guess is that he is doing generic project management temp work because he hasn’t been successful at landing and keeping an engineering job.

If you look at the FB page for his dating biz there is only one review, which was posted 10 min ago slamming him for his lies about his drinking.  Guessing the dating biz is a failure if he doesn’t have any positive reviews after hosting 21 dating events.  There are upcoming events listed so those of you in the area need to go and see if he is wearing a ring or not. 😆 

Edited February 14, 2019 by Booger666

[aphroditewitch]

30 minutes ago, Neurochick said:

Thank you for this.  The reason I don't think it's abuse is because we are seeing a small, edited piece of their lives.  I think Luke is an asshole, people can be assholes, people can say mean things, but it doesn't make them abusive.  

As for Kate, she signed up for a reality show, and it's the same with every reality show, the show owns your image for a few years, they have the right to do whatever they want to do with your image; people who were on different reality shows say the same thing.  I am sure that people read that contract and say, "no fucking way."   

I have watched a few YouTube videos made by a young woman who was on a reality show (Bad Girls Club) and she said the people who got the bad edits were the ones who didn't follow the producers leads.  

If anybody is abusive in this situation, it's the show but these people signed on to be on it....

Signing on to the show doesn't make the abuse any less awful. Most people go through their reality experience relatively unscathed. 

[Neurochick]

I don't know, but lately it seems that every behavior needs a diagnosis these days and every "not nice" behavior is considered abuse.  It's hard to tell on a show where we only see a snippet of these people's lives.

[Ilovepie]

10 hours ago, Yeah No said:

I think Kate is just riding Luke's roller coaster right now

Yes she is but the real question is why? She can’t be that invested in a three week old relationship where the guy told her on day 5 he was repulsed by her. I know people think she would get a bitch edit if she leaves but unlike Heather and Davina who are not warm to begin with, or Sheila and Amber, who come off a little cray, she is neither of those things. I think it would be hard to make her out that way.

Has anyone here heard the term negging? I think Luke is the king of it.....

[Ilovepie]

14 hours ago, Soup333 said:

I have no doubt Will said the mildest thing he could think of just to gauge her reaction. 

Or possibly because he was on tv. There is no way on this earth I would be sharing my sexual fantasy with the entire world....Now that sounds like I am super freaky. Fantastic......😝

[Gem 10]

7 minutes ago, Ilovepie said:

Yes she is but the real question is why? She can’t be that invested in a three week old relationship where the guy told her on day 5 he was repulsed by her. I know people think she would get a bitch edit if she leaves but unlike Heather and Davina who are not warm to begin with, or Sheila and Amber, who come off a little cray, she is neither of those things. I think it would be hard to make her out that way.

Has anyone here heard the term negging? I think Luke is the king of it.....

Either contract, money, exposure is keeping her on this show.  What else can it be?  Who would humiliate themselves like that?

[Neurochick]

14 minutes ago, Ilovepie said:

Yes she is but the real question is why? She can’t be that invested in a three week old relationship where the guy told her on day 5 he was repulsed by her. I know people think she would get a bitch edit if she leaves but unlike Heather and Davina who are not warm to begin with, or Sheila and Amber, who come off a little cray, she is neither of those things. I think it would be hard to make her out that way.

Has anyone here heard the term negging? I think Luke is the king of it.....

One never knows why people do the things they do.  Everybody's different.

[Ohwell]

6 minutes ago, Gem 10 said:

Either contract, money, exposure is keeping her on this show.  What else can it be?  Who would humiliate themselves like that?

Someone who's truly clueless?  Someone who perhaps has been told all her life that she's beautiful, so automatically assumes that she must be desirable?  Someone who cannot accept that Luke doesn't find her desirable?  I don't know, I'm just grasping for straws.

All I know is, I find her as annoying as Luke, albeit in different ways.

[Neurochick]

19 minutes ago, Ohwell said:

Someone who's truly clueless?  Someone who perhaps has been told all her life that she's beautiful, so automatically assumes that she must be desirable?  Someone who cannot accept that Luke doesn't find her desirable?  I don't know, I'm just grasping for straws.

All I know is, I find her as annoying as Luke, albeit in different ways.

I find Kate kind of sad, especially when she said she "REALLY" wants this to work and she wants to be married so badly.  I can get wanting to be married but...that you would subject yourself to a reality show?  Especially THIS show.  I mean it's not like this show hasn't been on for a long time.  What's their success rate?  Not very good.  

[princelina]

57 minutes ago, Ilovepie said:

Yes she is but the real question is why? She can’t be that invested in a three week old relationship where the guy told her on day 5 he was repulsed by her. I know people think she would get a bitch edit if she leaves but unlike Heather and Davina who are not warm to begin with, or Sheila and Amber, who come off a little cray, she is neither of those things. I think it would be hard to make her out that way.

Has anyone here heard the term negging? I think Luke is the king of it.....

I have heard that term from Howard Wolowitz 😄

I think that in addition to Luke's gaslighting behaviors which have her confused, she is also unused to being filmed for tv and nervous about doing something stupid in front of the cameras.