S01.E02: A Match Made In Tabloid Heaven

[HunterHunted]

While the women recover from the first Polo event of the season, Noelle and her boyfriend Scot grapple with his legal woes and discuss moving back in together. Caprice hits the tabloid headlines when she reveals a carefully calculated secret. The ladies prepare for the Serpentine Party, the biggest social event of the summer.

[Gumby]

It was surreal hearing a conversation about twins between two women I thought actually were. 

[LilaFowler]

I can't tell the brunettes apart.  Plus one is named Julie and the other is Juliet. 

[Frost]

 

Plus one is named Julie and the other is Juliet.

 

You got me!  I didn't realize there was both a Julie and a Juliet.  I thought there was just a Juliet.  Who I am enjoying on this show, for the most part.  I probably couldn't stand her in 'real life' but her bracing personality is kind of refreshing next to the back biters.

 

The Caprice thing confused me.  Was her 'story' actually about to be published by The Sun, so she cooperated in order to get a favorable spin on it?  If so, I can at least understand her actions.  Otherwise, exploiting your unborn children for publicity is the lowest of the low.  And don't get me started on her dress!  It looked like the creature from Alien was exploding out of her chest.  Absolutely hideous.

 

Noelle is such an incredible whiner I can't believe sad sack Scott is eager to pursue a relationship with her, especially coming off a bitter divorce.  Who's money is buying the flat in London?  Her behavior at the pre-party cocktail event was boorish and I thoroughly disapprove (in my best faux-English accent). 

 

I've never watched any of the Real Housewives of... shows.  Is this show similar?  The 'events' are all so obviously staged. 

[DeeplyShallow]

To me, it feels like a Housewives show.

Noelle looks evil to me. Something about her eyes & the looks she gives seem...sinister.

I also wanted to add (hence my edit) that I think Caprice's motives were twofold. I believe that she wanted a favorable article and probably caught wind of something coming out in the tabloids so she wanted to manage that BUT she was also exploiting her two kids for publicity.

Edited June 10, 2014 by DeeplyShallow

[EtheltoTillie]

It seemed that Scott was considered too scandal-plagued to be given tickets to that posh Serpentine ball. Something was off there.

Something is off with all these people. I'll keep watching, though. We just went to London in May, and it's fun to see places we just saw. Establishing shot of Trafalgar Square--yay!

Edited June 10, 2014 by GussieK

[heebiejeebie]

It seemed pretty clear to me despite the script, that Scott never intended to go the way he was dressed.  Jeremy Irons might get away with showing up in an old fire rug, but Scott's attire was not suitable for that event.

 

I loved Annabelle tottering walk of hesitation desperately hoping the paps would engage her for an extended bit instead of the occasional snapshot.

 

Caprice went about conceiving these kids for the very result she got.  She wasn't trying to spin a story that was coming out that she couldn't stop imo.  She set all this into motion simply to get in the news.  She really is incredibly loathsome.  I'm wondering how long it takes until the rest catch up to what a creature she really is.  I think Marisa gets it.  Noelle just seems petulant any time she is not the topic, Caroline is too self centered to see beyond what it means to her and Annabelle actually just seems stupid most of the time.

[Frost]

Who was it that, upon finding out that she was pregnant with twins, went home and told the housekeeper "Congratulations!  You're having twins!"  Was that Caroline?  I realize she was trying to be witty, but I sense a lot of truth in that statement.

[aradia22]

I don't know if I was in a better mood or the episode just got over the issues of the rough pilot but I enjoyed it more. Juliet seemed more likable starting out with her kids. Noelle is striking me as very Anne Boleyn. Caprice's baby stuff is still as boring as all baby stuff but the fact that she's having two babies, one via surrogate, is actually kind of new. It's better than trying to make me be excited about something that happens to tons of women.

 

Granted, Caroline has more children and they're older so she might not be fawning over them constantly but she definitely struck me as more cold than Juliet which just adds to how much I dislike her. Not because I expect every woman to be super maternal but if you're awful to strangers, I'd assume you could at least muster up some affection and enthusiasm for your own flesh and blood. I love her son though, the one she said she liked better in the pilot who hugged her this episode before he left. He's a cutie. I hope she's just playing up this image for the show because I could see him being starved for attention and well, things going very wrong from there. But that's enough armchair psychology.

[aradia22]

Eyeroll at Caroline. She won't sell a story but she's pleased as punch if she ends up in a trashy tabloid. Come off it. I think there's jealousy there. Even if it's just that Caprice feels free enough to do those kinds of things while Caroline doesn't.

 

The music for this show is totally off. 

 

Marissa, I want to like you but you are so stupid. Even if she did work in PR I don't believe she was actually working when she went to the restaurant (where she later met with Juliet). She just seemed to be doing it for the show. And Caprice is having twins? Really? I can't.

[aradia22]

OK fashion time.

Marissa: I didn't like that shade of gold on her but the cut of the dress was flattering if conservative. The hair really pushed it over into looking matronly.

Noelle: It came off as very inexpensive. With the hair and the color of the dress and the strappy heels and the bright nail polish it just felt cheap. It might have worked in another locale like Miami.

Caroline. Eh. Not impressed. I don't Cavalli. I think a lot of his stuff looks very trashy. This little cocktail dress was a little better but it still wasn't quite flattering. It almost looked like a babydoll dress that was awkwardly a little shorter in the front and with the cutouts... I don't know. Not great.

Juliet: She looked kind of bad. That print. That silhouette. Why?

Caprice: It had hideous green bugs on a salmon background but the silhouette itself wasn't that bad.

Annabelle: Clearly the best dressed one. The only issue was the bodice. I think it was a little low. Not that it was revealing but it seemed like her bosom was lower than it should have been.

[jennylauren123]

Juliet's little girl looked precious in her coat as she headed off to school with her father.

 

Caroline? Not so much. The Cavalli dress did nothing but emphasize her scrawny legs and broad back. 

 

I find it annoying that the U.S. women, especially Noelle, dip into British accents now and then.

 

And speaking of Noelle, those lips, which she almost constantly purses, are annoying. I'm guessing they're filled, as are Caprice's, despite her attempt to hide that fact by asking her mother if her surrogate baby has "full lips, like ours" or some such.

Edited June 10, 2014 by jennylauren123

[JennyMominFL]

I thought that was an improvement in the first episode. I love seeing all of the locations I visit a lot. I have a friend in Putney which isn't  too far from some of the locations. And caprice's dress.WTF? Who thought that was agood idea?

[poeticlicensed]

We need to start a Ladies of London drinking game where every time Noelle says the word golddigger, everyone takes a shot. I counted at least 3 or 4. in this episode. Noelle and Scott are pathetic and once it's all "settled", my guess is that their relationship will go too. 

 

Caroline bugged me a little less this week, but her outfit for the party was awful. The only dress I liked was the one that Annabelle wore. Caprice, ugh. from the green and pink bug dress, to the I'm having twins(not) storyline, I was repelled. 

 

Overall boring ep.

[larapu2000]

$6700 a month for that flat?  Is Marylebone posh?  

 

I wonder if Noelle had a ticket all along and was just making up the whole drama with her fiance.  If I was Caroline, I wouldn't have given her the ticket.  Just because.

[FozzyBear]

$6700 a month for that flat? Is Marylebone posh?

I wonder if Noelle had a ticket all along and was just making up the whole drama with her fiance. If I was Caroline, I wouldn't have given her the ticket. Just because.

I wondered if they were told by the party host that Noelle was welcome, but she could not bring her BF due to his criminal activities. Or if he couldn't pass some sort of security check because of it since Princess Beatrice was there.

Whatever happened Noelle cracks me up. She's so wonderfully, cluelessly horrible. Everything she says makes me giggle. More of her please!

[heebiejeebie]

Did Caprice go with her sperm donor/boyfriend?  Annabelle had a man with her.  Marissa went in by herself.  My sister has been to the Serpentine event. (eta: she has never walked the press line though to my knowledge) Some years it is a much bigger to do than others because the subscription list will often mention who is going to attend.  My guess is the show bought a certain number of tickets and doled them out to the women accordingly.  There is no way that the Hermers would have purchased one ticket even if he knew ahead he was not going to attend.  It was all contrived mini-drama.  That or some of Marissa's in-law Hermers were already inside with the rest of their tickets.  Either way I still believe fully that Noelle knew she was riding in on Caroline's coattails long before the cameras started filming. 

 

I did laugh on re-watch at how thrilled Caroline was with Elton John being present.  Heck even if just from Graham Norton, as fancy as Sir Elton is personality wise, financially he is still a huge trollop for the check after his wealth did a caper those years back.  You could get him for a sweet sixteen if you paid enough.  I'm not bashing his pragmatism.  That crystal beading can only be re-purposed so many times. 

 

But Elton is not that big of a deal for the level that these women like Caroline are pretending to play at.  In fact even Noelle looked torn as to whether she wanted to pout at having to swallow the fact that Caroline has been cast as the "insider" or sneer at Caroline's humblebragging hyerbole.

 

Marissa as the greek chorus seems like the best decision by far.  I don't loathe her yet.   Same can't be said of the rest already.  Though is Julie Sandwich actually going to play a real role on the show? 

 

Anyone else find it odd that Caprice had her surrogate in L.A. of all places?  Granted i think the whole "two babies" shocker was carefully planned out (I suspect that Caprice might have actually miscalculated on her own pregnancy and wanted them even closer together to raise her freak tabloid profile even higher) because there was no way she wasn't going to use having a baby as a tabloid fodder, I mean increasing her "wealth and power".  I wonder if it was so she could control the announcement of the babies birth's better.  Because my little high tea on the grassy knoll says they might have been farther apart than the 'month' as Caprice looked very small for seven months.  Yes I know that happens.  But being a woman who I cannot but believe devised a way to have "twins" that would crack the silicon seams of her body and be scintillating press attention, I can see her making sure that nature didn't throw her any curve balls to her press released maternity she couldn't spin or disguise.

 

Annabelle's dress was beautiful but it was wrong for her from the waist up. Her torso looked like a board game with pieces missing.  Or one of those Chinese finger puzzles gone horribly wrong. 

 

Any Londoner's present?  I think I counted one Eclipse and one Bumpkin (Hermer's group owned properties) as settings this episode.   My sister and her family live on Abbotsbury Road on Holland Park.  So some of the scenery looks like I might have walked past it.  But most of it looks like it might just look a lot like something I might have walked by.  Most of my London travels though were as tourist or on business and staying mostly in The City and the company digs down Wapping way.  So despite having an 'in' on the West I'm still learning my way. 

 

$6700 a month for that flat? Is Marylebone posh?

 

 

 

It's between Regent's Park and Kensington so I would say yes, it is pricey.  But my experiences with London are pretty much all pricey.  As in nose against the window looking in pricey.  I am staying at the Lanesborough next month for a wedding which has me a bit pleased. 

Edited June 11, 2014 by heebiejeebie

[aradia22]

 

Heck even if just from Graham Norton, as fancy as Sir Elton is personality wise, financially he is still a huge trollop for the check after his wealth did a caper those years back.

OK, I got a little lost in this sentence. Graham Norton is the gay fellow with the talk show, right? And you're saying that Elton is willing to do anything for money. What's this about his wealth doing a caper? Did he lose his fortune? That must be impossible with all the royalties, right? 

[heebiejeebie]

Graham has made jokes about Elton doing pretty much anything for a buck and Elton jokingly agreed with him when he was on Graham's show.  Elton went bankrupt i believe.  About ten years ago.  His lifestyle was nothing but spending.  One tabloid headline, if I recall correctly, had him spending 2.5 million a month for almost two years.  It was like 50 million he went through in less than two years.

[aradia22]

Ah, OK. Thanks for clarifying. My British pop culture knowledge is confined to watching Never Mind the Buzzcocks, QI, Misfits, The X Factor, and Britain's Got Talent. I tried with Mock the Week and Top Gear and some things like that but I can't. I like trash in easily digestible bites. also, 2.5 million a month is crazypants. That's like a challenge. Like a Brewster's Millions kind of thing.

[ghoulina]

So far I really cannot stand Caprice and Noelle. Caprice just seems incredibly full of herself - like she is the greatest thing since sliced bread and everyone should care about her life. And what in the seven hells was that dress she wore prior to The Serpentine? Was that a giant turtle made out of cockroaches? What the what what? I just couldn't....

 

 

Noelle comes across as very entitled and superficial. What is the timeline with her and he beau? Was he already having all of these legal/financial troubles when they started dating?

[monef]

I was really irritated by Juliet's 'British women are more hands off with their children than Americans' nonsense. No bitch, that is just rich people vs the rest of us.

[psychoticstate]

And here I thought Caroline was going to be the most vile person of this show.  Congratulations, Noelle!  You're an asshole.  And bitch, you can miss me with that "I'm not a golddigger" comment.  You're just not golddigging well.   I feel sorry for her boyfriend because girl is clearly in it for the dollars. 

 

BTW, I swear I had a Barbie when I was younger that came in the same hot pink long dress that Noelle was wearing.  Just saying.

 

I'm not going anywhere though because I loooooooove seeing the London scenery.

[larapu2000]

It's between Regent's Park and Kensington so I would say yes, it is pricey.  But my experiences with London are pretty much all pricey.  As in nose against the window looking in pricey.  I am staying at the Lanesborough next month for a wedding which has me a bit pleased.

 

Yeah, my sister pays about $2000/month in Spitalfields/Whitechapel for a fairly dinky (by American standards) flat, which her work mates told her was a tremendous deal.  I stayed in Kensington when I was there for the Olympics in a rented flat (I am by no means in any way monied, well-off, wealthy, etc), but when we were flat hunting, the rentals we were finding online for Marylebone all looked pretty crap, which is why I wondered if it was a nice area.  

 

I know Battersea is across the Thames from Chelsea, and that's where Juliet lives-is that area pricey?  It seemed like she was protesting a bit too much that she "liked" south London and that what she really liked was the price tag.  I did love the shot of daddy and daughter walking to school in her little coat!  I love how London weather almost always requires additional outerwear, like a jacket or sweater.

 

Please tell me more about the Lanesborough!

[OnceSane]

 

Noelle just seems petulant any time she is not the topic

Noelle just seems petulant.  & if she's not a golddigger, then I'm the Queen of England.  Noelle, every time you deny being a golddigger, it makes you look even more like one.

 

& Caroline sure changed her tune!  Last week:  "The Americans are so uncouth."  This week: "I love those brash Americans!".  WTF?

 

Caprice is the thirstiest of the bunch.

 

 

Who was it that, upon finding out that she was pregnant with twins, went home and told the housekeeper "Congratulations!  You're having twins!"  Was that Caroline?

Yep.  I also thought that it was more truth than jest.

Edited June 11, 2014 by OnceSane

[Neurochick]

Who performs the theme song? I'm loving it better than the actual show.

[izabella]

So far I really cannot stand Caprice and Noelle. Caprice just seems incredibly full of herself - like she is the greatest thing since sliced bread and everyone should care about her life. And what in the seven hells was that dress she wore prior to The Serpentine? Was that a giant turtle made out of cockroaches? What the what what? I just couldn't....

 

I don't know what that monstrosity was supposed to be, but it sure looked like a bunch of beetles or cockroaches arranged in some sort of pattern right over her middle.  I simply cannot imagine that she stood in the mirror after putting that hideous thing on and thought, "I look fabulous!"  She must be on some sort of psychedelic drugs to think that was in any way attractive.

 

And, I think she did actually wear it to the Serpentine, not just for drinks.  Simply unbelievable.

[ghoulina]

Yea, from far away I thought it was a giant turtle. Then when she got closer, I noticed bugs? It was just horrific on every level. She must have no friends.....because who would let someone step out in that????

[heebiejeebie]

Because she weighed the gamble of making her pregnancy work fashion wise and making the best dressed list against putting a ridiculous hideous beetles bull's eye around her pregnant belly and pretty much guarantee getting plenty of photos taken and keeping said pregnancy in the tabloids?  Even if it means landing on the worst dressed? 

 

I wonder which she'll choose.

 

Caprice would blow the horses of the Horse Guards in front of Buckingham Palace if meant she would be on the cover of the Sun every day for the rest of her life.

[tvfanatic13]

2 episodes and I still don't know anyone's name except Caprice. Does not bode well....

[HunterHunted]

OK fashion time.

Marissa: I didn't like that shade of gold on her but the cut of the dress was flattering if conservative. The hair really pushed it over into looking matronly.

Noelle: It came off as very inexpensive. With the hair and the color of the dress and the strappy heels and the bright nail polish it just felt cheap. It might have worked in another locale like Miami.

Caroline. Eh. Not impressed. I don't Cavalli. I think a lot of his stuff looks very trashy. This little cocktail dress was a little better but it still wasn't quite flattering. It almost looked like a babydoll dress that was awkwardly a little shorter in the front and with the cutouts... I don't know. Not great.

Juliet: She looked kind of bad. That print. That silhouette. Why?

Caprice: It had hideous green bugs on a salmon background but the silhouette itself wasn't that bad.

Annabelle: Clearly the best dressed one. The only issue was the bodice. I think it was a little low. Not that it was revealing but it seemed like her bosom was lower than it should have been.

I thought the dresses were mostly hideous. Annabelle's was the best by default, but that's not saying much. I'm not sure if Caprice was intentionally trying to invoke Tracy Turnblad as the brash rules breaking outsider. I'm guessing not. Caroline's was a dish sponge in pretty a porter form. And I am wondering if Juliet styles the Downton Abbey servant actresses mostly because they very often have terrible footwear like Juliet.

[aradia22]

 

I'm not sure if Caprice was intentionally trying to invoke Tracy Turnblad as the brash rules breaking outsider. I'm guessing not.

Ha! Squish! Squash!

[imjagain]

I want to like this show, mostly im bored.

Noelle does not come off well in this episode. She had bitch face turned up to 11. It's not good that I feel a tiny bit bad for her boyfriend. And he is the one who is a liar, cheater and just released from prison.

I hate that she keeps reminding us she is not a gold digger. Stop! you are not convincing me.

[sasha206]

Noelle seems like she is done with billionaire boyfriend -- the one she's not a gold digger to -- now that she realizes she can't access his money and perks she needs to "live her own life."  So I'm sure we'll be seeing her "painful" breakup and her being on the look out for another sugar daddy that she isn't a gold digger to.

 

Meanwhile, how uncomfortable did those idiots look posing outside an event where Kate Moss and other celebs are attending?  Yeah, right the paps were really calling their names...

[RealityGal]

Who was it that, upon finding out that she was pregnant with twins, went home and told the housekeeper "Congratulations!  You're having twins!"  Was that Caroline?  I realize she was trying to be witty, but I sense a lot of truth in that statement.

 

That statement started me on the "Caroline annoyance" ride.  I don't think its very classy to make commentary about how other people are gonna have to watch you're kids because you're just too fabulous and important for the job.  Nor is it classy, IMO to constantly name drop and brag about how fabulous your life is.  We get it, you have a great life, no need to oversell it, just live your fabulous life and we will all see it.  "Well, so and so is my bestie and her dad owns formula 1 so of course I'm in the press"

And here I thought Caroline was going to be the most vile person of this show.  Congratulations, Noelle!  You're an asshole.  And bitch, you can miss me with that "I'm not a golddigger" comment.  You're just not golddigging well.   I feel sorry for her boyfriend because girl is clearly in it for the dollars. 

 

BTW, I swear I had a Barbie when I was younger that came in the same hot pink long dress that Noelle was wearing.  Just saying.

 

I'm not going anywhere though because I loooooooove seeing the London scenery.

 

Well, I love that in one breath she is like "I'm no golddigger!" and in the next she is like "I clearly met Scott at the wrong time, a month before he met me he was flying in private jets with Bentleys!"  Well, if he is a great guy, and you're no gold digger the right time to meet him would be anytime he was available, right?  I think she fully believes the stories about him hiding money, and they may be true because she is protesting a little too much for my tastes.

 

*le sigh* I love London, love, love, love, love it.  I would totally love to live there if the weather wasn't crappy 11/12 months and it was in any way affordable.

Oh my goodness, is this how women in London dress for a high society party?  What a letdown,  Noelle's dress looks like something you could pick up at the local Charlotte Russe.  Juliet's dress doesn't look classy enough for Charlotte Russe, maybe Forever 21.  Caroline's dress just looks like a bubble dress, the beadwork is gorgeous, and the color goes well with her eyes, its something I would pass on, my guess is that she bothered someone at Cavalli for a dress and as a punishment to her they gave her that one.  Marisa's dress is nice, but nothing stunning.

ETA: okay, Annabelle's dress is gorgeous.  And Caprice....WTF?  I'm totally confused, was that made as a maternity dress?  Are beetles/roaches a sign of good luck if you're pregnant?  That wouldn't look good on anyone, I don't care if you put that dress on Victoria Beckham, thats just not a pretty dress. 

 

ETA #2: I think Scott may have hidden the 4 million pounds in his black jacket, does he have any other outwear?

Edited June 19, 2014 by RealityGal