Testifying: Best litigant quotes.

[AngelaHunter]

From the fake watch case:

 

"Taiwan is the leading counterfeit continent."

 

Who says this show isn't educational?

[SandyToes]

"We are not maritime people."

 

Only because Whineandcheez's line about "Me thinks I know how the boat was cracked" still keeps me giggling.

Edited March 2, 2016 by SandyToes

[Katt]

I had never heard "boughten" until I started watching JJ. 

[break21]

Too many dog cases.  People's Court is going through the same thing.  I'm getting to the point, if it's dog case, I turn the channel.

[One Tough Cookie]

Too many dog cases.  People's Court is going through the same thing.  I'm getting to the point, if it's dog case, I turn the channel.

 

Pretty much this.  I've stopped watching for a while.  This year dog cases are the new cell phone cases.

[funky-rat]

I had never heard "boughten" until I started watching JJ. 

I grew up in Pennsylvania Dutch Country.  It's very common here.

[Christina]

In an old case from 2012, Defendant was a 57-year-old who borrowed money from his girlfriend to move. He claimed to be a case worker for a non-profit, Plaintiff said it was social work:

JJ:   In June, where did you get the money to pay her back?

Def:  I live in New York City.

JJ:  {Blank stare}

Def: That is to say that I came across the money. Maybe I hit a number. A legal number... [continued on while the plaintiff and JJ both look astounded by his stupidity.]

I laughed at JJ's facial expressions. 

[AuntiePam]

Three sisters (who looked to be in their 50's and 60's) suing a brother -- partly for property but mostly because the brother hadn't allowed the sisters to see their parents as much as they wanted to.  Parents died in 2012 and before they died, the parents (or a guardian on the parents' behalf) had taken out a restraining order on them. 

JJ explains that because the parents are dead, she has no way of knowing what the parents wanted, with regard to their relationship.  She suggests that they get over it, and that therapy might be helpful.

One sister -- not the one who did all the talking -- quietly remarks "That's probably what we've needed all along." 

[Rick Kitchen]

On 3/4/2016 at 1:45 AM, Katt said:

I had never heard "boughten" until I started watching JJ. 

I've heard "store boughten" among my Oklahoma-born relatives.

Did those sisters suing their brother really try to claim that their brother was responsible for their mother's death?

[AuntiePam]

1 hour ago, Rick Kitchen said:

 

Did those sisters suing their brother really try to claim that their brother was responsible for their mother's death?

I didn't get that impression.  I was waiting for them to get to the gist of the case, something a court could deal with. 

If those women had an attorney, they didn't have a very good one.  They said they never saw the will.  As far as I know (it's true in Iowa), if a will is in probate, it's a public record -- anyone can see it. 

Maybe there was no will.  Maybe the brother had the parents transfer all their property before they died.  But the sisters said there was a guardian, so who the hell knows.

[Rick Kitchen]

But the one doing all the talking said he wanted to make sure their mother died before their father so he could force their father to sign things for him.

[AuntiePam]

12 hours ago, Rick Kitchen said:

But the one doing all the talking said he wanted to make sure their mother died before their father so he could force their father to sign things for him.

Wow.  I didn't catch that.  Let's hope she misspoke.  The brother might have wanted it, but didn't do anything to make it happen.  Did the brother say anything at all? 

[DoctorK]

Quote

Did the brother say anything at all? 

As I recall, he didn't, and really didn't need to. The sisters had no basis for their suit, JJ kept trying to explain that this all needed to be handled by the probate process which is long over. I personally suspect that the sisters are obsessed and believe that their brother stole everything because they didn't get what they thought they deserved. One thing that slipped past too quickly to follow was that apparently the sisters were limited in the time they could spend with their mother by a court order or an order of protection, and their visits had to be supervised? Please correct me if I misunderstood this, it went by really quickly. I tend to sympathize with the brother based on my thoroughly miserable experience with my brother's stroke in which I allowed myself to be the court appointed conservator, pending his recovery. He was hostile and paranoid, had convinced himself that the Doctors and lawyers and of course me all made this up, that he never had a stroke and we were just stealing all of his (pretty insignificant) property. Happiest day of my life was when the court rescinded the conservatorship based on his (somewhat dubious) recovery and I could wash my hands of the whole mess. No more 3 AM incoherent profane hate filled voice messages on my phone anymore.

Edited July 9, 2016 by DoctorK

[AuntiePam]

DoctorK, yep -- the sisters said their visits with their mother were limited to 20 minutes.  I didn't catch anything about supervision, but it's a safe assumption.  With their attitude, they would have made their mother's last days even worse.  "Mom, he's taking all the best stuff!  Mom!  Are you listening?"

[One Tough Cookie]

• So I was catching up with the shows today and heard this gem:

JJ: What were you arrested for?

Litigant:  Which time?

[AngelaHunter]

"Don't rent nothing in your mother's name." ~ Shartrice, 29, who lived in a rental car for 35 days (with her boyfriend), expecting Mom to pay the $3500 bill. 

[SandyToes]

From today's guy who didn't pay the stud fee when the puppies died:

"Be careful who you breed with!" 

Oh, so very, very true!  This could be in the hallterview of nearly every JJ litigant we see.

[AngelaHunter]

Not a specific quote, but something said by mature men and women that makes me sick:

"He/she blocked me on Facebook."

If my husband ( a grown man!)got all sulky and petulant because someone blocked him on FB, I swear I'd leave him.

[AngelaHunter]

This was actually kind of awesome:

 

 

[AngelaHunter]

I just watched the slow-thinking, dumb as a bag of hammers, high-pitched dweeb - yet much in demand by women - with a douchebag hairdo, William Yager:

JJ: "What you are alleging... she should be paying for the phone."

Dumbass Yager: "No, judge. That's incorrect. She should be paying for the phone."

JJ and Byrd exchange looks of incredulity.

JC. And he's a "student" (and single father. Poor kid.)

[AngelaHunter]

We're not the only ones enjoying our dear litigants. Here is the "Litigants of Judge Judy" blog, with quotations scattered throughout:

Quote

"He grabbed a bottle, hit me in the face and knocked me out… I should have learned the first time when he strangled me in spring break."

For our viewing pleasure -

http://litigantsofjudgejudy.tumblr.com/

[Cobalt Stargazer]

Weell, I can see what I'm going to be fixated on now.

[Guest]

On 8/7/2017 at 10:07 PM, AngelaHunter said:

For our viewing pleasure -

http://litigantsofjudgejudy.tumblr.com/

That collection needs to be in a museum. 

And I have no recollection of this witness at all but her name is the everything:

 

[SandyToes]

On ‎8‎/‎7‎/‎2017 at 9:07 PM, AngelaHunter said:

We're not the only ones enjoying our dear litigants. Here is the "Litigants of Judge Judy" blog, with quotations scattered throughout:

For our viewing pleasure -

http://litigantsofjudgejudy.tumblr.com/

Rabbit hole alert!  Rabbit hole alert!!!   WOW!  Great (?) find! 

 

Ms. Colliflower.  Good night, I had forgotten that one!

[Silver Raven]

"I visualized a lady ..." instead of "I saw a lady".

[Cobalt Stargazer]

2 hours ago, Silver Raven said:

"I visualized a lady ..." instead of "I saw a lady".

Dionne Warwick, ladies and gentlemen.

[DoctorK]

Quote

"I visualized a lady ..." instead of "I saw a lady".

I wish JJ had responded with "You visualized ...? So you didn't actually see anything, you just had a vision?"

Edited August 10, 2017 by DoctorK
putting quotes where they belong

[AngelaHunter]

"Anyone could have wroten that." - Stefanie Glover.

[gingerormaryann]

Rerun today.  JJ really intensely dislike a plaintiff that she was going to grand the judgement to and then gives a list of what she thinks she is:  "unladylike, unneighborly, foul mouthed, bad tempered...(to the son) what's so funny?"  Son: "You just, like, named off all the things she is".  Even JJ laughed.

I'm sick at home with the flu so thanks JJ for cheering me up.

[WhoaWhoKnew]

"We had our indifferences." x1000

[bumface]

I’ve been lurking on these threads for a while now without joining in as I’m in the UK, and the episodes shown here are usually at least a couple of years old, despite Judge Judy being on TV pretty much all day every day.

So I came on this thread thinking “Great, at least I can add some of my favourite quotes,” but to my surprise – and delight – I find a reference to my very own blog, http://litigantsofjudgejudy.tumblr.com/!

It’s a hobby/shameful secret I can’t share with many people in real life because... well, you just wouldn’t, would you. I’d let it slide for a while mainly because my low-tech approach – pausing the TV and taking a photo of the screen – entailed the effort of hauling my arse off the sofa and disturbing my dog who’s usually sleeping next to me. But I have a DVR chockful of episodes and dozens of pics stored in my camera, so I really must get a bit more active with it again.

Anyway, I’m so glad to see my art (lol) being appreciated by people who understand! I used to read the TWOP Judge Judy boards as well, and lost many hours laughing at all the hilarious talk on there. Alas, about 10 years late to join in. But still. I recognise some of the names from there and feel that I am truly among greatness!

PS I am immensely fond of RaeRene Colliflower. She also forms a part of an ongoing project I am collating with a friend which we call ‘Name of the Day’. It’s probably the size of a small directory by now, borne of names we have come across in day to day life and email to each other for our petty amusement. In the interests of privacy I won’t share examples on here, but suffice to say, Ms Colliflower is, in my eyes at least, right up there with the best of them.

[bumface]

And to add, a few of my favourite universal quotations:

JJ: “Who do you live with?”

Litigant: “Myself.”

 

Litigant: “Basically...”

JJ: “NOT BASICALLY. I don’t wanna hear basically.”

 

Litigant: “He knew...”

JJ: “DON’T TELL ME WHAT HE KNEW.”

[Guest]

6 hours ago, bumface said:

So I came on this thread thinking “Great, at least I can add some of my favourite quotes,” but to my surprise – and delight – I find a reference to my very own blog, http://litigantsofjudgejudy.tumblr.com/!

.

Names aside the collection of peoples looks like a casting call for Lord of the Rings. 

I never saw so many misshapened people in my life.

But thanks bumface - it really is a hoot going down memory lane.

Edited March 1, 2018 by PsychoKlown

[Cobalt Stargazer]

2 hours ago, bumface said:

Litigant: “Basically...”

JJ: “NOT BASICALLY. I don’t wanna hear basically.”

My personal favorite is "Um is not an answer!"

[Guest]

On 3/1/2018 at 10:59 AM, bumface said:

So I came on this thread thinking “Great, at least I can add some of my favourite quotes,” but to my surprise – and delight – I find a reference to my very own blog, http://litigantsofjudgejudy.tumblr.com/!

You are doing the Lord's work, @bumface. 

[Silver Raven]

"My insurance had overlapsed."

[AngelaHunter]

Ladies and Gents, "Bumface" Has Updated His Blog:

 

http://litigantsofjudgejudy.tumblr.com/page/2

[Byrd is the Word]

On 2/17/2015 at 12:39 PM, augmentedfourth said:

*I hope to never appear on this show as a litigant. However, it is my not-so-secret fantasy to somehow be peripherally involved with a case and get a phone call from JJ in her fake office with the fake books. I would die a happy woman if that ever happened.

It’s funny to imagine how many of us have bought and sold autos, rented property, driven hundreds of thousands of miles, lent money, received borrowed money, contracted for work on our homes and autos, etc., etc, without being a litigant anywhere. That said, my bucket list includes a spot in the gallery during a taping of the show. But since I’m mot an attractive 20 something woman I think I’ll have to move on the the next item on the list. 

[AZChristian]

There used to be a link on her website for tickets to the show (which never resulted in "mere mortals" being able to sit in the audience).  Now the link doesn't even appear to be there.

[AuntiePam]

A new word used by the car-flipper plaintiff today -- "subligate".  Heaven knows what he was trying to say.  I think he was going for "mitigate", maybe.

[AngelaHunter]

On 1/15/2019 at 9:52 PM, AuntiePam said:

A new word used by the car-flipper plaintiff today -- "subligate".  Heaven knows what he was trying to say

Sublimate? Subrogate? Subjugate? Substantiate? Subsidize?

New game show coming this spring: "What the Hell are They Trying to Say?" featuring the litigants of Judge Judy. Play along! Fun for the whole family!

[my tiffany]

From a hallterview (Mutual Combat Chaos.

"Know them before you have babies with them."  

Made me choke on my wine. Words of wisdom too late for a vast majority of JJ litigants.

[AngelaHunter]

On 4/12/2019 at 6:22 PM, my tiffany said:

"Know them before you have babies with them." 

Someone had an epiphany, I guess. Who would think of that?

[DoYouLikeMutton]

I don't recall anything about the case or the litigants, except for this ridiculous comment by the defendant:

"No, I didn't choke her, your Honor.  I simply put my hands around her neck and applied a tightness." 

With that, JJ gave her famous exasperated stare, sigh and eye roll. 

[AuntiePam]

Not a quote, but a plaintiff today called the defendant "vulgular".  I suppose she was going for vulgar and started thinking about her jugular vein, since she's lucky the guy she slept with the day she met him didn't slice hers wide open. 

[WhoaWhoKnew]

"He oweded me some money."

"I wasn't working at the momentary."

Edited October 11, 2019 by WhoaWhoKnew

[Chalby]

On 3/7/2016 at 12:57 PM, funky-rat said:

I grew up in Pennsylvania Dutch Country.  It's very common here.

How true! I find some expressions are very particular to certain areas. I had never heard the mangled expression Youz Guyz until I visited my Eastern cousins (Ontario). I was so surprised that they weren't using this expression in jest. 

Edited December 1, 2019 by Chalby

[Chalby]

On 2/17/2015 at 2:56 PM, Rick Kitchen said:

I'm not so sure the complaints are rewritten, I've seen some of the printed stuff when the camera zooms in on a phrase and some of it is pretty incoherent.

But then again, when JJ is questioning them, most of their responses are incoherent, lol. Therefore, signed statement makes 'sense'. I do confess that I wonder if some of the people involved can read? I am not saying this as an insult - it is something that's crossed my mind when a defendant (or whomever) only glances briefly at the statement placed in front of them, before shoving it away.

[SRTouch]

4 minutes ago, Chalby said:

But then again, when JJ is questioning them, most of their responses are incoherent, lol. Therefore, signed statement makes 'sense'. I do confess that I wonder if some of the people involved can read? I am not saying this as an insult - it is something that's crossed my mind when a defendant (or whomever) only glances briefly at the statement placed in front of them, before shoving it away.

Welllll, sometimes you have to wonder if they can even see. I mean, think of the litigants who enter a video/pic into evidence which blows their case out of the water.  ie, litigant who claims to have barely 'tapped' a parked car and video shows a reenactment of carnival bumper cars. Or tenant arguing for return of security depisit showing pix of bags of trash left behind - sometimes without the 'bags'

[Chalby]

On 6/22/2014 at 10:00 AM, Ouisch said:

Or we can continue here and you can behave in a civilized manner. What's your pleasure?"

Defendant: "My pleasure? Um, anything extreme: boating, snowboarding, motorcycle - -"

Nooooo  Waaaay...? Was this REALLY said, or are you poking fun at the general type of people who appear on JJ? If it was said, I really need to find that episode on youtube. How does JJ not break out in uncontrollable laughter when these dimwits respond to her questions?

On 6/6/2014 at 2:51 PM, Patssy Stoned said:

My Hall of Fame quote goes to Ms Shampree Rreid who was "cooking breffest nekkid while taking a baff"*.  She complained, I believe if I remember correctly, because the bacon burned her. It NEVER gets old!

*translated: Cooking breakfast naked while taking a bath.

Too funny, however, once I saw your name,"Patssy Stoned", I thought, oh no, someone (ahem) got into that Antiguan weed the Dr. was warning everyone against... lol  (jkg)