Jump to content

Type keyword(s) to search

Testifying: Best litigant quotes.


Milz
  • Reply
  • Start Topic

Recommended Posts

It really is like they never watch the show before going on it.

 

I bet they never did. They watch Honey Boo Boo and Steve Wilkos and would probably never see anything outrageous in the behavior of JJ litigants - as we do -  so it would bore them.

 

What I love is when someone shouts out "That's a lie!" Bonus points if they do it from the sidelines.  I love it any time, but especially when JJ is reading to them from their own complaints.

  • LOL 1
  • Love 6
Link to comment

What I love is when someone shouts out "That's a lie!" Bonus points if they do it from the sidelines.  I love it any time, but especially when JJ is reading to them from their own complaints.

 

I've given this some thought over the years. If I was ever a litigant on the show* and whoever was on the other side really was telling outrageous lies about me, would I have the self-control to keep my mouth shut until it was my turn? Granted, I'm sure that most of the "that's a lie!" outbursts are lies themselves, or at least whatever the other side is saying has some grain of truth to it, but it still makes me think. I've eventually arrived at the conclusion that I think I'd be able to hold it in, but the camera would most likely pan over to me making "seriously?" faces and giving some major side-eye.

 

*I hope to never appear on this show as a litigant. However, it is my not-so-secret fantasy to somehow be peripherally involved with a case and get a phone call from JJ in her fake office with the fake books. I would die a happy woman if that ever happened.

  • Love 11
Link to comment

I've given this some thought over the years. If I was ever a litigant on the show* and whoever was on the other side really was telling outrageous lies about me, would I have the self-control to keep my mouth shut until it was my turn? Granted, I'm sure that most of the "that's a lie!" outbursts are lies themselves, or at least whatever the other side is saying has some grain of truth to it, but it still makes me think. I've eventually arrived at the conclusion that I think I'd be able to hold it in, but the camera would most likely pan over to me making "seriously?" faces and giving some major side-eye.

 

*I hope to never appear on this show as a litigant. However, it is my not-so-secret fantasy to somehow be peripherally involved with a case and get a phone call from JJ in her fake office with the fake books. I would die a happy woman if that ever happened.

I'd love a phone call from JJ.

 

We know from some of the blogs we've read written by former litigants that the producers encourage the litigants to be combative. I guess some are stupid enough to do so. I'm an old Army gal, so I'd treat JJ the same way I treated my drill sergeants. Yes, ma'am; no ma'am; and I don't know, ma'am.

  • Love 4
Link to comment

The show's staff find the documents from real small claims court; I'm sure they rewrite them on the show's own "forms" and have the parties sign them.  If for no other reason, they need to make them legible and in passable English. Like most numbskulls, the litigants sign documents without reading them.

  • Love 2
Link to comment

The show's staff find the documents from real small claims court; I'm sure they rewrite them on the show's own "forms" and have the parties sign them.

 

At least in NYC small claims court, there is absolutely nothing in the application to file a lawsuit about the suit. Several years ago, I brought a small claims case and all they really asked was plaintiff, defendant & amount of damages suing for (by the way, I did get an invite from People's Count to have the case tried there).

  • Love 2
Link to comment

The police told her ...

Don't tell me what the police told her!

She was told by the city...

Don't tell me what anyone said to her!

She was told ...

 

Ha! I was just thinking of that. I love it.

 

Even better when they restart their hearsay and change the wording:

 

"I was told..."

"Don't tell me what anyone told you!"

"Okay. I was informed..."

 

Yeah, that'll work, you moron.

  • LOL 1
  • Love 6
Link to comment
I was shocked to hear the defendant, an ex-wife in a child support case, calling her husband a "money hungry douchebag".  They actually left that in?

Which is bizarre because in one of the million rerun cases last week, the producers bleeped out JJ saying, "poop." (Some case of filthy renters leaving dog crap all over their back porch after they moved out.)

 

Also, I do believe that same litigant also said she hoped her ex-husband died.

Link to comment

JJ: {to the ridiculously attired Queen Esther/Nefeteri who strolled down the aisle in a fabulously tacky outfit complete with head piece}: That's SOME outfit...."

Esther, blinking her false eyelashes and waving her trashy nails "You like it?"

I DIED.

It re-aired today. Still satisfying, lol!

  • Love 5
Link to comment

"He frauded me."

 

A woman took her classic car to a mechanic, who told her it was unfixable.  He fixed two of her other cars in return for the classic car's parts, or so he said.  The woman found someone driving "her" classic car some time later.  The woman obviously had no case.

  • Love 3
Link to comment

I have to be honest - I don't remember if I heard this on The People's Court or on Judge Judy. When I heard it, I loved it so much I jotted it down...I was cleaning my office today, and I found the note on my desk.

 

The defendant held up a letter he claimed was from the plaintiff, and he said that he doesn't think it's appropriate to read on television.  

JJ or MM (sorry): What? Are there expletives in the letter?

Litigant: Oh, yeah, Your Honor...there's expletives, question marks, peri.....

JJ or MM interrupts: Alright, alright. Are there bad words?

  • LOL 1
  • Love 8
Link to comment

JJ or MM (sorry): What? Are there expletives in the letter?

Litigant: Oh, yeah, Your Honor...there's expletives, question marks, peri.....

JJ or MM interrupts: Alright, alright. Are there bad words?

 

How precious is that? Expletives or punctuation - don't use big words with litigants. Must have been MM. JJ would know better than to ask such a question.

  • Love 5
Link to comment
(edited)

"I will not lie and say I did not proceed to beat the crap out of her."

 

Those words courtesy of the charming MIchelle, bar fighter extraordinaire.

 

S8wRKnt.jpg

Edited by AngelaHunter
  • Love 7
Link to comment

All from hallterviews:

 

"Don't hate the player, hate the game."

 

"Jessica's a thief!  She stole Bobby's digital camera, and walked out of the grocery store with two rotisserie chickens!"

 

"Trash do be in a kitchen."

 

"When you compare our arrest records...."

 

"Don't trust your family members, especially when they have to buy bags of hair to go on national TV."

 

"Don't fear the repo."

  • LOL 1
  • Love 4
Link to comment

A rerun this morning where a woman was suing her ex boyfriend for back rent and he counter sued for his possessions.  In his written claim, he said that he was asking for his father's ashes, but when he spoke and listed what he wanted back, he didn't mention the ashes.  So JJ said he must not have cared about the ashes if he didn't mention them in his testimony.  And the defendant said, "I didn't mention them because you had already mentioned them so I thought that was incinerated."

 

I'm not even sure what he was trying to say.

  • Love 4
Link to comment

A rerun this morning where a woman was suing her ex boyfriend for back rent and he counter sued for his possessions.  In his written claim, he said that he was asking for his father's ashes, but when he spoke and listed what he wanted back, he didn't mention the ashes.  So JJ said he must not have cared about the ashes if he didn't mention them in his testimony.  And the defendant said, "I didn't mention them because you had already mentioned them so I thought that was incinerated."

 

I'm not even sure what he was trying to say.

YES!!!  When I heard that, I thought there was no way he really said it! 

 

When JJ was opening the case, giving a summary of the details, she said, the defendant has a countersuit for the return of his late-father's ashes and miscellaneous goods." She then asked the defendant what he wanted returned. He said things like nightstand, maps...but he didn't say the ashes. When JJ barked at him about it, he said, "Well, you already said it, so I didn't REINCINERATE."  Oh jeez!!  I think he meant to use the word 'reiterate.'

  • LOL 1
  • Love 2
Link to comment

JJ: Where do you live?

Litigant: Hollister.  Well, I've lived in Hollister on and off for several years, but I've also lived in San Jose.  So, Hollister and San Jose.

JJ: What address is on your driver's license?

L: El Dorado.

  • LOL 1
  • Love 8
Link to comment
(edited)
QuoteQuote

"I couldn't get a holt to him."

 

And repeated, what - ten times??

 

ETA:

 

So I'm watching a bunch of old eps and come to the Pacheco (?) family. Son is in the slammer for dealing meth. Gets out but he don't have no job, so goes to flop with dad, who smokes weed because he has "arthuritis". Son is out (probably dealing meth) when parole officer comes to check on him, finds Dad toking up and has him arrested.

 

Sister asks Meth Bro to chip in to spring Dad. Bro has no Doh, so sister pays and Bro won't pay her back. Bro is outraged because, "They dint have to hire no fancy lawyer. They coulda got a public pretender!" JJ and Byrd give each other the eye.

Edited by AngelaHunter
  • LOL 1
  • Love 4
Link to comment

Still watching old eps, and came upon this gem:

 

Ms. Ribino, def, claims she doesn't owe money to plaintiff. She found him on a dating site and started asking him for money pretty damn quick.

 

JJ: "You have 30 seconds to tell me your counterclaim."

 

Ms.R: "Okay.  I honestly believe that based on the basics of two factors  I do not owe him the money..."

 

JJ: *Screaming* "COUNTERCLAIM!!!!"

 

Byrd, looking at his watch: "Thirty seconds is up, Judge."

  • Love 3
Link to comment
(edited)

 

I have to wonder if these folks are given a copy of their Damm complaints. Why is it so many of them have no clue what they wrote?? I would totally commit my lie to memory and have it ready for JJ backwards and forward.

IMHO I think the producer (or the assistant) calls the litigants and gets a phone statement, types it up and then the litigants sign it before the taping at some point. Most id-jits don't read the stuff stuck in front of them (which in many cases is why they are in court, ya big dummies) so it's no wonder they can't remember anything. I always think about JJ's credo - "“If you tell the truth, you don’t need a good memory.”". 

Edited by ItsHelloPattiagain
  • Love 6
Link to comment

Not sure where this should go, but I think we need to recognize the great job the announcer does. Watching more old cases and came upon this:

 

Announcer (without a single snicker):... 42 year old cosmetic salesperson, Cindy Tannis, is suing her ex boyfriend, William Gunter, for knocking out her front teeth."

 

A match made in heaven, no doubt. It got better when JJ started questioning Cindy:

 

JJ: "How long did you stay with him after he knocked out all your front teeth?"

 

Cindy: "About three or four months."

 

Sounds reasonable.

  • LOL 1
  • Love 2
Link to comment

In her hallterview, the plaintiff, who just had her case dismissed, said of the defendant "I thought he was a friend."  Even though she had testified that she wouldn't tell him her address.

Edited by Rick Kitchen
  • Love 5
Link to comment

In her hallterview, the plaintiff, who just had her case dismissed, said of the defendant "I thought he was a friend." Even though she had testified that she wouldn't tell him her address.

This after she had sex with him!

  • LOL 1
  • Love 4
Link to comment

Southern couple (yes strong accents included) fighting over living arrangement in their double wide trailer.

 

JJ: "The deal was he paid the rent ..."

 

Joyce: " ...and I paid all the amenities."

 

 

JJ: "Right now I'm not hearing any amenities."

  • Love 1
Link to comment

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Unfortunately, your content contains terms that we do not allow. Please edit your content to remove the highlighted words below.
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...