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The GCEh?C: Canadian Episodes (Spoilers for Non-Canadians)


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I don't understand how Stitch has time to see patients. Why wasn't he stalking Vikki or somewhere sulking because she might decide to take Billy back?

Yeah, me either. Mind you, it's really no different than when they have any other character have a "career" and have them work at it when it's convenient to the plot.

I'm starting to really get bored with Stench. They need to get to the Big Reveal and quit wasting everyone's time. Also, how dumb is Moptoria for just getting involved with this twit and not finding ANYTHING out about him? FFS, Mop.

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So more dumbassery abounds with an exterior shot of "Melbourne" - it's almost winter there, but sure doesn't look like it, with people on the street in what looked like shorts, and leaves still on the trees! Couldn't they at least try for some accuracy?

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Goddamnit. So Dylan and Paulie have the same blood type? AB Negative?

Jesus Harold Christ. Paulie is Dullard's Pa! Let the fuckery and Victurd flipouts begin!

Also, Dr. Barton Von Bartleby, Leslie's newhubby/rebound marriage is the surgeon. BVB mentions that Paulie Kolbassa needs a new liver....one things for certain - Nikki won't be donating anything - her liver's shot. That sumbitch has filtered more booze than your average brewery! Go have some toast, Nikki!

So, seeing as Paulie needs a liver, does this mean Austin's gonna be donating a liver, because of "lead poisoning" soon? C'mon show!

Also, the less Crocket we see, the better. I'd forgotten how I can't stand her smug, sanctimonious ass.

Edited by canucktvwatcher
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Oh, and Austin just casually talks about getting into Canada...IT'S NOT THAT EASY. Does he have a passport, or is he just hoping to slip unobtrusively across the border into the wilderness of Northwestern Ontario? Or swim across Lake Superior to Thunder Bay? UGH

Edited by Capricasix
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Oh, and Austin just casually talks about getting into Canada...IT'S NOT THAT EASY. Does he have a passport, or is he just hoping to slip unobtrusively across the border into the wilderness of Northwestern Ontario? Or swim across Lake Superior to Thunder Bay? UGH

Now, Caprica, don't be botherin' the writing interns with real-world geography. They're occupied with being unrealistic about Australia right now.

 

Although I do see Summer fitting right in, being quite comfy in Kenora, Rainy River, Lake of the Woods... Oh, no, sorry I said that--it could mean the return of the lumberjack bar...

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Kinda quiet in here, isn't it?

 

I won't take it personally, though. But trying to soldier on as I cling vainly to Ian Ward's soothing presence in Crimson Lights is a bit tough. I certainly did enjoy his "Now you can see what an upright citizen I am..." go 'round with Leslie, followed up by sage advice on bilking a mark [sharon] with Mariah.

 

Did I enjoy anything else? Well, I guess the fact that we. as Canadians, won't be treated to more weird geography references 'cause the Playmobil duo couldn't even manage a getaway. Do I care about either of them? Oh, you know the answer there. Should I care about the incredibly stupidly written scenes with Mrs Stitch down under? Well, if I should, I don't--c'mon writers, you can do something a bit fresher than send Dick of Dick and Bora Charles into the kitchen to make a fake phone call, then nearly get caught...

 

Oh, and in previews, I think Mr Ward may have been shooting blanks, while Paulie, despite the tight pants, apparently wasn't. Imagine my surprise.

 

Folks, please! TV/cable deities, please! Slip me some sugar... You're going to tell me you give but you also take away. You're letting this happen to Y & R, and you know that. I do accept that you let me watch part of the chaotic mess that is GH for half an hour today, but then June's annual soccer festival that infests Toronto takes away even Coronation Street on CBC...mumble, mumble, mumble... What if I put one of those soccer flags on my car? Would that be enough to placate you? I guess I'll buy one of those red and white English flags...mumble, mumble, mumble...

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No more hockey :'( (until October, anyway!)

Oh, I am a bad Canadian!

I hate hockey--fire-of-a-thousand suns time. FIFA's mildly preferable to hockey, with all the streetcorner flags and scarves sellers. Because I don't like sports, I'm just tired of all the rescheduling--it plays havoc with my down-time starting at 4:30PM. Selfish me.

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I was so excited to have a Canadian thread for Y&R, and now the writing is so bad (OK, who am I kidding about 'now') it is hard to care enough to post. But here goes.

 

Ian shooting blanks is hardly a surprise. Many of us on TWOP (and maybe those here - can't remember) called that as Ian's secret months ago. I have to say thought that "Ian" is the only good thing about the show at the moment. I just can't take my eyes off Ray Wise when he is on the screen - like I used to feel about Billy M and Michael M. He is perfection.

 

Pear you are far to kind in comparing Billy and Chelsea to NIck and Nora - though I get where you are coming from with the get-ups. I'm thinking closer to Get Smart and Agent 99. But then if Billy had a shoe phone he would have had no reason to go into the kitchen. Are we really to believe that a woman so paranoid as to move her kid half way around the world to escape her ex would welcome two complete strangers into her home to answer personal questions? Also not believable that Chelsea would leave her kid with her ding bat of a mother to go to Australia.

 

Wow, I am so wrapped up in the insta relationship that is Summer and Austin. They have such chemistry and I totally buy that they are star crossed lovers. Not.

 

Now for things Canadian:

Only watch hockey now (and have for years) when the playoffs are on, and sometimes only then when it is the final. Too much fighting and not enough hockey in the regular season.

Can take or leave maple syrup. But love maple walnut ice cream.

Only like Timmy's for walnut crunch donuts and cinammon french toast bagels. Oh, and their hot chocolate. This isn't a slam against Timmy's coffee though as I don't drink coffee.

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I'm not sure we can be friends any more... *cry*

Please tell me you like Timmy's, at least!

Oh, sure, I mean, who won't eat donuts? The Tim's cruller has always been a go-to--and I can't care about all the "gourmet donut wars" that people are getting into. And, if it helps, I love fiddleheads--are those Canadian? And on the other end of the spectrum, chips and gravy--although I think people eat that on the east coast of the US.

 

I have yet to eat a cinnamon bagel or a walnut crunch--and Like UsernameFatigue, I'm not big on coffee, so I don't think about Tim's coffee. OTOH, come the first warm day every spring, I've gotta have an Iced Capp. Best I can do, sorry.

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(edited)

The walnut crunch donut is an oblong chocolate donut loaded with walnut pieces - yum. Though not all outlets still make them - depends on the demand.

 

Pear, your reference to chips and gravy (love!) reminds me of my first trip to the states as a teenager (New York state).  I ordered chips and gravy, and was served potato chips covered in gravy. LOL. And yuck!

Edited by UsernameFatigue
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Pear, your reference to chips and gravy (love!) reminds me of my first trip to the states as a teenager (New York state).  I ordered chips and gravy, and was served potato chips covered in gravy. LOL. And yuck!

 

That is unspeakable! What is it about chips and gravy, anyway? No matter how fancy your palate gets or whatever, they always [as long as the chips are good] do the job. About east-coast US, I know I've seen on the Food Network [one of those Triple D shows, probably] people in Baltimore and/or New Jersey eating "french fries" with gravy, so somebody south of us must know about it.

 

Off to stare at soccer flags--I've never actually put one on my car, but when I came out of NoFrills [there's a Cdn ref for you] yesterday, nearly every car was sporting one...

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So we know that Stitch supposedly killed a man (or someone?  I think I remember it was a man).  Jenna left him not because he cheated on her but because of something far worse.  Didn't she imply it would be better if Stitch was dead (like Adam)?  Kelly is the one who told Jenna, which wrecked Jenna/Stitch's marriage.  She did this because she wanted someone to hurt as much as she was over losing her son.  

 

But Stitch didn't kill her son.  I still think Kelly and Stitch are sibs.

 

So let's say that Stitch killed someone while drunk driving.  Would this really cause a wife to move to Australia?  It seems like it has to be worse.  So then it would be Murder One.  But no, then he would be in jail.

 

Maybe he killed Jenna's brother or father?  And why didn't Billy just say that Stitch is banging his wife, probably got her pregnant, and Billy wants to know what kind of a guy he is?  Wouldn't Jenna have been happy to tell him what an asshole he is?

 

Summer should be charged with a crime of some sort but they don't seem to be arresting her.

 

MTS/Nikki looked truly awful in that sausage dress dress with diamond dog collar.  When they show the flashbacks it makes me think, WTH happened?  Then other days she looks fab.  Very up and down.  I happen to remember that scene they keep showing between Paul and NIkki and I don't understand why anyone would be surprised that Paul got her pregnant way back then.

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What about poutine?

Hell, yeah! But Quebec actually has ownership there--it wasn't really available elsewhere, probably until some time in the 90s. PQ has lots of its own foods that don't appear elsewhere.

 

And...poutine...is just chips and gravy with added cheese curds! [To get picky about it, real poutine uses Quebec "barbecue chicken gravy," not gravy per se.] That gravy has nothing to do with BBQ sauce of any kind--it's sorta chicken gravy with extra seasonings--we would know it as Swiss Chalet chicken sauce--but I don't think there's any equivalent I could point you to.

 

Ah, butter tarts, chips and gravy, and poutine--hallmarks of a healthy lifestyle.

Edited by pearlite
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Oh, who could spoil anything here?

 

Nookie and Pookie replay--Paris again. But no! Or maybe yes. Or no.

 

More Neil and Hilary--sorry, I hit the remote.

 

Mrs. Ex-Ian [amazing how these exes and outworlders look so ordinary compared to GC inhabitants] comes, takes the money, reveals what we already knew, and Nikki, not looking so well, despite GCRB, decamps to meet the transplant-rejectee. Victor, unsurprisingly, calls back Minion to do his bidding.

 

Cricketeen whinges at Lauren. Lauren is preferable.

 

Nookie and Pookie confront engagement ring. Nothing much there; time to move on.

 

Dylan Quartermain is repeatedly deemed unsuitable--a degree of suspense ensues, mixed with "so that's who your husband is," of the surgeon.

 

Oh, I hope there's a payoff in here somewhere...

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Ugh. Today's Canadian was like watching grass grow or paint dry. Even the "Dylan is Paul's son" reveal that happened at The Ranch That Smells Like Old People was boring as fuck. Ian's dumpy ex-wife sold the info that Ian's swimmers weren't up to "following the path", and that he was shooting blanks. It took Drinkki a couple minutes to put it all together, but she eventually got there. Hell, even Turd wasn't mad about it! All in all, that reveal was pretty anti-climactic.

My question: Are all the residents of GC slow, or is it something in the water? Mother of Christ, they're dumb. Literally NO ONE else figured out Dylan's lineage? C'mon.

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The Ranch That Smells Like Old People

 

*dead* (above and below)

 

MTS/Nikki looked truly awful in that sausage dress dress with diamond dog collar.

 

 

I keep forgetting to check this thread. God, it's funny. But now I feel like getting some poutine.

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Ugh. Today's Canadian was like watching grass grow or paint dry.

My question: Are all the residents of GC slow, or is it something in the water? Mother of Christ, they're dumb. Literally NO ONE else figured out Dylan's lineage? C'mon.

Well, yes, they are slow.

 

In fact, I think I've figured out part of the problem with the show: it's now caught in slow-time. It may seem like nothing's happening, but something is--it's just happening in slow-time, not in our time-frame. C'mon, I tried.

 

Did anything actually happen yesterday? Other than horrible Summer giving Jack the obtuse teenage-girl "victim of my hormones" routine? Are we supposed to accept or even care about the fact that, for some masochistic reason, Avery will probably defend Austin? Whoah that's one character I don't really care about embroiled with another character I could care less about--perhaps too much excitement for me.

 

Other than that stunning event, it was plot-point redux, folks, and I hope you all enjoyed the review, and that you'll do really well on your midterms...

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Wow, Corben Bernsen is looking really old. He is 59 and looks at least a decade older with that white beard. I was thinking that if Jeannie Cooper was still alive he would look way too old to be her son - mind you that is likely part due to her two facelifts.

 

So now are Avery and Dylan going to have problems because she is going to defend (how is that even possible?) the guy who almost killed Dylan's father? And when she does defend Austin, she will be defending the guy that is the cause of Dylan putting his life at risk to donate to Paul. Sheesh.

 

So disappointed that Nick pulled Mariah off of Abby. I have been waiting for someone to knock some sense into that bitch.

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I was kinda disappointed that Mariah went for the hair. I was hoping she'd go straight for the face. But it was fun to watch nevertheless. Abby whining about her messy hair and having to go get it fixed afterwards was priceless. 

 

*placing homemade buttertarts on the table and sneaking out *

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(edited)

Wow, Corben Bernsen is looking really old. He is 59 and looks at least a decade older with that white beard. I was thinking that if Jeannie Cooper was still alive he would look way too old to be her son - mind you that is likely part due to her two facelifts.

 

So now are Avery and Dylan going to have problems because she is going to defend (how is that even possible?) the guy who almost killed Dylan's father? And when she does defend Austin, she will be defending the guy that is the cause of Dylan putting his life at risk to donate to Paul. Sheesh.

 

So disappointed that Nick pulled Mariah off of Abby. I have been waiting for someone to knock some sense into that bitch.

I thought Corbin Bernsen actually did some acting yesterday--even if corny, there was a glimmer of professionalism or ability in his scenes. Mind you, because he next to Cricketeen and Stitch, maybe it was just the contrast, because they're both graduates of the Block o' Wood Academy.

 

I can't, without gagging, and it's a nice day out, so I'd rather not, type anything about Avery, Austin, and Summer. So I'm weak, sue me...

 

I did nearly split a gut, to coin a phrase, at Stitch's scenes in the Alldenominational Chapel--in fact, I started humming "You Caught Me Crying in the Chapel." Ah, Stitch, it just ain't gonna wash off. And the Almighty called: He doesn't care.

 

Ah, but there was the Hairpulling! First time I ever rooted for Mariah--that's a record.

Edited by pearlite
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You know, I don't like to criticize actors' appearances, because dog knows there's enough to snark on about their acting abilities...but Cricket's hair has always bugged me. For as long as I can remember, she's had the central part, and her hair just hangs stringily down, no style whatsoever - ugh.

*running away with whole plate of PatsyandEddie's butter tarts*

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Ah, Abby, you've taken a turn...and i'm not happy about being manipulated into being on Mariah's side. [Mr. Ward, take note.]

 

Other than Victor doing his patented "you ain't seen nothing yet" threat-turn with Ian Ward, for me Abby's dip into complete crappiness was the highlight of the show. Interesting that Noah's a complete spineless jellyfish [= a nice, moral boy in this universe], and it was nice to see Abby working on her huff/cut-eye. Didn't Abby just used to be a kind of self-seeking stupid heiress, or am I having false-memory attacks here? She seems to have pulled her little sabotage thing here out of the "this is something out of character for me, but go with it" handbag.

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Mariah needs to be murdered.

Nah, you know she's gonna be some kind of sacred cow. Even without the horrible writing and characterization right now, there was never any way that a character looking like Sacred Cassie would not be redeemed, er, revealed to be just a wonderful, misunderstood, deep, spiritual, selfless character..okay, I've now sickened myself.

 

And apparently Abby will be the Agent o' Doom or just his/her Advance Party--a sacrifice to Saint Cassie.

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Okay, before we start mooing along with the Sacred Cow of Genoa City...let's see, did anything actually happen yesterday?

 

I hope it did, because I'd like to put something in this little blank rectangle.

 

The episode did seem to move a little faster--or maybe I'm getting desperate to say something nice. For one, the Oedipal Triangle of Devon, Dad, and Hilary moved up a notch on the creepy meter--why am I voting for Devon here? I think I'm losing it, frankly. I guess he's worth more than Neil, so that's probably an aphrodisiac, where Hilary's concerned. Or the characters could just keep overusing the word "passion" until I hit "mute." Or I could keep trying not to think "sloppy seconds." Or I could waste some mental energy on whatever Cane is supposed to be doing, in the finagling department. Let's not, and say we did.

 

Ian skitters about like a nifty spider, tightening the glue on Sacred Cassie-Cow, hinting about a greater plan. What could it be? He puts a little acid in the glue for Leslie, who, for a smart lawyer, looks slightly flummoxed as we leave her. Perhaps she didn't complete the last few auditing sessions, and Ian knows it.

 

Then we enter the dreaded Repetition Zone: Sharon defends Sacred Cow again; Nick is dubious again [but fixes the lock on her door at the No-Tel; Dylan Quartermain sets his jaw [and his liver] into the ready-position, which is unfortunately indistinguishable from his other facial positions. Cricketeen does the weird stare, Nikki wails, mascara runs, last rites are administered, and off we go to LiverLand. Mysterious are the ways of the Almighty, as Father Todd has taught us.

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So, NuBilly debuted today on the Canadian ep. I will say this: he looks like an actual grown man. DT's idle threats to Stitch before were laughable, because he was such a shrimp. Burgess Jenkins actually looks like he might be able to throw down if he had to. He was ok in his debut, but they gave him some pretty "blah" material to work with, so I'm gonna let him try to persuade me he's right for the role a bit more. He's currently better than DT in the span of ONE EPISODE, so there's that. Only problem is, he kinda looks like Stitch's younger brother. This may pose a problem!

The rest of the ep, we get Princess Lil blaming Miss Devon for not getting the job done breaking up Kneel and Hilary, and of course, we get Kneel's Hurry Up And Rub It In Leslie's Face Wedding in Red Claws Memorial Park, so there's a bit more Winters Family Fuckery to deal with. Miss Darvon shows up at the end of the ep as Ambiguous and Desparate are about to exchange vows, presumably at the "does anyone object?" moment, which was fun. I personally think the wedding will go through, and we'll get Hilary doing the Dance of Love with Daddy Warbucks Jr. later.

Also, Mop climbs Stitch like he's a tree and she's in heat.

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Sharin deserves to wake up in a bathtub filled with ice only to realize one of her organs has been stolen.

 

LOL!

But then when said organ is found she'll make Nick give it a job and expect Noah to take it to dinner.

 

Off topic but if we're talking organs I'm up for Tracy taking back Colleen's heart by ripping it out of Count Chocula's concave chest.

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I thought Burgess Jenkins was good today. Canuck is right that he had some blah material, but that's probably a good thing (easier on him). He is a grown man, tall and has a lovely voice. I loved seeing Jack have a brother again instead of a whiny child. And immediately I felt that Victoria would actually want this guy and was fighting that desire instead of the general irritation she exuded when she was in scenes with DT (though I'm sure a lot of that was me projecting my own irritation).

 

He does resemble Stitch doesn't he? lol. That's weird. I hope this forces them to end the triangle fast. It's so lame. 


Oh, and from previews it's obvious (to me) Kelly and Stitch are siblings. She tells him she loves him (and an alarmed Jack overhears). I seem to recall CW's Kelly calling him "Benji" a few times -- which made me think they were siblings back then. I'm of course assuming the writers actually have this thing mapped out, which is pretty stupid of me. 

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Mmmm, stepping neatly aside from my immediate distaste for New Billy...[uO]

 

The conclusion of the WienerWagonWedding in AllPurpose Park was incredibly dull: ah, Hilary, you coulda done something... Devona woulda bought you a really nice outfit, and maybe a hotel to go with it. Missed opportunity, hon.

 

How can any show mess up pros like Jess Walton and Tristan Rogers so badly? Their plot-points hang like so many mouse-farts in the air. Oh, I drugged the champagne...my phone call just told everybody that Thiefguy is on the way...Oh, Lord, Lily comes to the rescue? What gives?

 

Summer bleats on, with her perpetual sour mouth and vacant eyes. Is it important that she and Lily were wearing a sort of sherbet-orange colour? Is it the new black? Am I bored? Am I blue?

 

Re Kelly and Stitch--that did not look like any brother-sister kiss to me in the Jack-tell scene. Perhaps my brothers and I missed out on something, but eugh.

 

Could something happen, please?

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Nikki is in desperate need of a make over. What is it with these actresses who cling to their long hair, years after it looks anywhere close to flattering? She's starting to definitely look like a woman of a "certain age" and while that's no reason for her to run out and get a buzz cut, that hair pulls her face down, which is something that no woman wants. And they need to stop dressing her in those Spanx that pose as dresses. It's called "age appropriate" and again, doesn't mean she has to look frumpy and dowdy. Just stop looking like someone who is trying too hard to recreate her glory days. And speaking of big hair disease, how about Lauren Fenmore? She looks like Loretta Lynn, fresh off the Grand Ole Opry stage, circa 1955. And those tacky hair extensions aren't fooling anybody. They never do. Does this show not have a hair stylist who is not stuck in the 80s? 

 

I think I'm getting World Cup over dose.

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Funny thing, where MTS is concerned--I saw a shot of her at the Emmys, and she looked great! A nice black dress, and the hair worked, too. On the show, those dresses call to mind the big comfy couch or something--most of them are flat-out evil, and don't do a thing for her carriage or body-type.

Nikki is in desperate need of a make over. What is it with these actresses who cling to their long hair, years after it looks anywhere close to flattering? She's starting to definitely look like a woman of a "certain age" and while that's no reason for her to run out and get a buzz cut, that hair pulls her face down, which is something that no woman wants. And they need to stop dressing her in those Spanx that pose as dresses. It's called "age appropriate" and again, doesn't mean she has to look frumpy and dowdy. Just stop looking like someone who is trying too hard to recreate her glory days. And speaking of big hair disease, how about Lauren Fenmore? She looks like Loretta Lynn, fresh off the Grand Ole Opry stage, circa 1955. And those tacky hair extensions aren't fooling anybody. They never do. Does this show not have a hair stylist who is not stuck in the 80s? 

 

I think I'm getting World Cup over dose.

I just pictured Lauren with a price tag on the front of her hat, like Minnie Pearl--I doubt that's what the stylists are going for.

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So does anyone else think that the writers are going to go with Paul getting some of Dylan's memories from the war through the liver transplant? Of course Cricket thought his mumblings about the child were all about her. And really, her jealousy over Nikki having a son with Paul are out of character for Christine. I could see her being jealous and possessive of DitzyDanny,but she and Paul have never had that kind of relationship. But then the writers aren't known for being consistent.

 

Here is yet another thing that VIctor knew nothing about with regards to Mariah - that she has known Ian her whole life. First Tyler, now this. VIctor needs to fire his PIs. And the dress Abby was wearing today -butt ugly! Though I must say the one Hillary was wearing for her Weiner Nuptials was stunning.

Edited by UsernameFatigue
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