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  1. Jesus, THIS. Kevin's some kind of Hacker/Computer Genius extraordinaire, but he's too fucking stupid to get rid of the ID badge he stole? FFS. The only way he could have been stupider was to don the Chipmunk costume and go lurking around the hospital. It's shit like this that shows the seams in the writing, and shows how connect the dots the whole affair is right now. This Stitch bullshit is such a fucking cop-out. Reminds me of the "bad, bad, so bad" thing that Phyllis and Ovary's Swindly Pa did - defrauding people of money. Not to say that's not bad, because obviously it is, but with that, and this, with the "a lantern got knocked over and it was all an accident", YR further proves that it's afraid to tackle any big issues with its storylines. Tragic? Yes? Shocking, in terms of story? No. They'll soft-pedal this sl out, and do the usual lame job. Sigh. Totally agree about BJ's work as Billy so far. I'm really, really trying to find something redeeming about his performances, but he's falling flatter than a pancake. Jenkins doesn't have an ounce of the charm that BM did in the role. He's so listless, whiny, and just generally a wet blanket. I've never wished so much for BM to be back in the role. JFP should be kicked right in her frumpy, ferret-faced ass for letting him go from the show. They should have been backing up dumptrucks of money to convince him to stay. The colossal fuck-up that the character's been rolled out as with BM's replacements is a cautionary tale to soap casting agents.
  2. This is the funniest goddamn thing I've read all day! It's so on point it's uncanny! Dummer needs to be taken on a tour of the Skippy factory and kicked in a giant vat when she's not looking. Give her credit, though, HK has been selling THE HELL out of the character being stupid and naive - and I mean that as a compliment! Maybe I was too quick to judge her as being unworthy of that Daytime Emmy!
  3. Unpopular Opinion: After seeing KSJ struggling this week, I think it's time to give him the pink slip. Dude is adrift in a sea of bad acting and even worse storylines. At least give him a break for about six months off the show. Goddamn he's been terrible lately. I realize that shitty writing has something to do with it, but he's been atrocious as of late. Also, I like the slow redemption they're giving Exhaustin right now. Nobody trusts the little turd, nor should they, but if they stretch this out long enough, it may make the character believable. Having said that, I fully expect the writers to fuck this up royally. I'm keeping my expectations LOW.
  4. Focusing in on this for a second. This scene wonderfully encapsulates what is wrong with the show right now: two fucking newbies no one gives a good goddamn about trying to drum up interest with a false start (aka. "Phew! That was close!"), while the audience suffers from an attack of narcolepsy. Barton Von Bartleby, Esquire, who we've seen for a total of five minutes since his character insta-married Leslie, and The Artist Formerly Known Dr. Ben Rayban? I don't give a rat's ass about these two! Seriously, if the guy playing Bartleby is putting in time on this show to get his SAG (Screen Actor's Guild) card, he's in for a LONG fucking wait. Plus, it's only a matter of time before Leslie bites her fist, realizes that she made a mistake (of course we couldn't blame Judgey McJudgerson Kneel for anything), and she's back with Kneel. Dude better make sure he gets all the scenes in he can! Though if he's lucky, the writers will have him get with Hilary after Kneel casts her aside once he loses interest and his Relationship ADD kicks in. The old switcherooni, another standby soap trope! Then we'll probably get treated to a Miss Devon/Hilary/Bartleby triangle. Man, it even sounds like shit when I write it. And the secret.....yes, the secret. I'm honestly getting to the point where I don't give an actual fuck about what it is. PB's wincing, patented clenched jaw is just further proof he's probably pissed off with the stupidity he's being handed to act out, but he's gotta roll with it. The character of Jack has got to be thinking: what worse - being shot by Patty, or putting up with with Ben and Kelly, The Wonder Twins? I'm guessing at this point, a bullet looks like the better choice. Maybe Sarge can come back and yell at all their dumb asses?
  5. Ed Grimley and Stench are a pair of useless teets, that's what they are. And yes, the writing team needs to buy a vowel and getting a fucking clue. I constantly get the feeling that they stretch this joke of a storyline out to buy more time. Because no one has a goddamn clue where to go with this steaming turd. It seems as though it's the Soap Storyline equivalent of the game of Telephone. Only no one has an idea where they wanted to go in the first place, and who the hell knows what it will end up looking like. Kevin always was a bit.....slow. Especially when it comes to social cues. He would have been better to dress up in the a Silver Chipmunk outfit and deliver her a singing telegram. It would be an improvement on quite a few aspects of the show right now. As for Hilary and Kneel stopping by the side of the road for a little "boom chucka wow wow" (in the style of the 70's disco), don't forget - he's on a budget! He's buying Hilary that fixer-upper! He can't be splurging for a fancy hotel room when the mood strikes all willy-nilly! That costs money! I suppose they could go Al Fresco, but Hilary would be picking pine needles out of her ass cheeks for a week afterwards.
  6. See my post in the other thread. This storyline with The Artist Formerly Known As Ben Rayban is thinner than a Lay's Potato Chip. Also, anyone see NuBilly's shitty shoulder tat today while he was rolling around on the couch with ManJaw when the "repair man" snuck in? Christ, I thought Kneel's Tribal Tats were bad. This one looked like someone coloured it on with a crayon. Speaking of Kneel, KSJ was absolutely dreadful in today's Canadian ep. Good Lord it was bad. Dude was having a really, really off day. I'm wondering if it isn't tied in somehow with the son that Kelly lost. They've made sure to mention that plot point several times since Kelly's first appearance, and it is also what connected her to Billy. I could be wrong, though, and giving the writers way too much credit for bringing everything together here.
  7. Haha! LOVE the TWIN PEAKS reference here! :) Just once I'd like to hear Ray Wise say, "That's a damn fine cup of coffee" and order some pie at the GCAC. Maybe he uttered this line already and I've missed it! Yeah, Phallus does have a twin...Sheila, remember?! :) Yeah, I fear Pete, er, Austin Travers will turn out to be The Bestest Husband That Ever Husbanded, and the sycophantery will reach an all-time high. Who knows how I Can't Believe It's Gina Tognini NuPhyllis will take the news about the Forced Smile Wedding and Reception, though.
  8. Ha! I like a good whodunit, but honestly, the words YR and good whodunit don't belong in the same sentence. I wonder if they'll bring back Ramen Noodles and the Amazing Big Board of Clues, viewable to everyone that walks in the station? Ah, Big Board of Clues, we miss you!
  9. My question: when did Dummer become goddamned Joffrey from GAME OF THRONES? Why in the Holy Hell does every character that's related to this entitled urchin fold like an accordion when she pouts, sticks out her bottom lip, and stomps her feet? I know folks have asked this upthread and elsewhere, but it really, really is so stupid. Dummer's a meathead of the highest order. I personally can't wait until this marriage dissolves like a Tums in a wino's gut after a long night of boozing.
  10. SPOILER-ISH for today's ep: Ugh. Wait until today's ep, where you get treated to more of SB's wooden acting, complete with the worst "NOOOOO!" this side of STAR WARS: REVENGE OF THE SITH, when a newly minted Darth Vader screams this when he learns Padme is dead. I want to scream this at my tv every time SB shows up on it, but whatcha gonna do? Also, Drinkki has a Super Secrit Hippie Dippy Diary from the bad old days, with deets about her and YouGotThatIanWard. Ex-DA Mikey tells her all of her dirty laundry will be aired if this is entered into evidence to prove crimes against her were committed by Ian. Everything from the Show In Tijuana to drinking thirsty sailors who have been away at sea for months under the table will be out in the open. She's down with letting this be evidence. Ian is as smug and repulsive as usual! Do we really need to hear the sordid details of Fifty Shades of Way (Too Much Info About Nikki)? And to the surprise of no one, Crustine bitches Paulie out. She's all mad people are "protecting" Drinkki, and that their big dream of having rugrats is basically kaput. Meh. Hey, maybe Danny Suckalotti will roll through town and they can get the Big Hair and The Bug Nostalgia Tour 2014 underway again. Also, Paulie clutches his liver after The Bug leaves. Grampire also braves the sunlight and sees a doc....but you know he's up to no good. Expect Sharin-related fuckery to ensue. Oh, and as some folks have guessed, it seems Turd will also be the catalyst to wake up FrankenPhyllis. He was reading the paper the other day about some Wonderdrug/Treatment that will wake patients up (I'm paraphrasing here). Damnit, Victurd, why can't you let sleeping Red Dogs lie? But you just know, if it meant that he could get back at Sharin, Old Balls would be standing over Syphillis with jumper cables ready to pounce if it meant that waking up Godzilla would further his revenge on Sharin. Drinkki also pays a visit to Dullard The Wonder Donor, explains that Ian is all being a sonofabitch with the lawsuit and everything, and Dullard laments, in his monosyllabic way, bordering on grunting, that the justice system doesn't work, blah, blah, blah, he throws some glass (a cup, I think) at the wall. Oh shit, Ovary's not gonna be happy that you wrecked some of the Easy Bake Kitchen, dude! This is of course lead up to Dullard taking the law into his own hands. I'm guessing the Ian Ward Whodunit will be upon us soon. That, or the Austin Travers Free Meal At The Asskicking Buffet Segment. Meh. I think that, not wanting to stretch the boundaries of SB's limited acting abilities, they got him to show emotion and do this, instead of a full scale cry. Because you know, steam might roll out or his ears if he's asked to, you know, actually act. Earlier, SB proceeded to diatribe about how he is worried he can't protect those he loves, the justice system sucks, and how the ice cream shop down the street never gives him enough sprinkles. He does this with the logic, reasoning, and enunciation of a slow-witted red-assed baboon. Shocker, I know. Ah, show, once in a while you give us unintentional gold amongst the shit that the Trained-Monkey Writers throw at the screen.
  11. I dunno. Even Billy Miller on a bad day was better than David Tom on a good day. BM's charisma, even when he wasn't into playing the character, was still obvious. His constant mugging pissed me off as a viewer, but he grew on me. And his hungover sad puppy eyes and downward mobility, "woe is me, but I have no one to blame but myself" vibe was palpable. BM played Billy as a man that could continually screw up, yet his lady would take him back time and again, because of his sad eyes, demeanour, and melancholy, plus his not-so-heartfelt "I'll never do it again". BM's Billy projected the vibe of women wanting to nurture him, and believe his line of bullshit, all the while in the back of their brain KNOWING he's a complete fucking mess, but taking him back anyway. DT could not pull this off, and seemingly BJ, even though he's a better fit than DT, cannot either. I also feel bad for DT, but he was clearly, CLEARLY a horrible choice, and a huge misstep. Yeah, he started in the role, but BM made it his own. It's hard to recreate that with another actor, no matter what the role is. DT was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time, casting wise. I wish him luck in whatever he does past this, but he needs to be honest....his second tenure as Billy Abbott was a disaster. I hope it doesn't curtail other opportunities to work for him. That would be unfortunate and sad. :( As far as the speculated power struggle between AM and JFP, it wouldn't surprise me. JFP may have been right regarding DT, but she's still an employee, and needs to STFU if her boss gave her an order, whether she likes it or not. JFP may think she's above the hierarchy, but she can (and most likely will) be shown the door if she can't comply.
  12. So, NuBilly debuted today on the Canadian ep. I will say this: he looks like an actual grown man. DT's idle threats to Stitch before were laughable, because he was such a shrimp. Burgess Jenkins actually looks like he might be able to throw down if he had to. He was ok in his debut, but they gave him some pretty "blah" material to work with, so I'm gonna let him try to persuade me he's right for the role a bit more. He's currently better than DT in the span of ONE EPISODE, so there's that. Only problem is, he kinda looks like Stitch's younger brother. This may pose a problem! The rest of the ep, we get Princess Lil blaming Miss Devon for not getting the job done breaking up Kneel and Hilary, and of course, we get Kneel's Hurry Up And Rub It In Leslie's Face Wedding in Red Claws Memorial Park, so there's a bit more Winters Family Fuckery to deal with. Miss Darvon shows up at the end of the ep as Ambiguous and Desparate are about to exchange vows, presumably at the "does anyone object?" moment, which was fun. I personally think the wedding will go through, and we'll get Hilary doing the Dance of Love with Daddy Warbucks Jr. later. Also, Mop climbs Stitch like he's a tree and she's in heat.
  13. Bwahahaha! Nice! May I submit the following: Busty Barristers Really Chesty Representation Luscious Lawyers, Attorneys at Law Super Stacked Solicitors Great Racks and Gavels Breast Legal Team in the Midwest
  14. Ugh. Today's Canadian was like watching grass grow or paint dry. Even the "Dylan is Paul's son" reveal that happened at The Ranch That Smells Like Old People was boring as fuck. Ian's dumpy ex-wife sold the info that Ian's swimmers weren't up to "following the path", and that he was shooting blanks. It took Drinkki a couple minutes to put it all together, but she eventually got there. Hell, even Turd wasn't mad about it! All in all, that reveal was pretty anti-climactic. My question: Are all the residents of GC slow, or is it something in the water? Mother of Christ, they're dumb. Literally NO ONE else figured out Dylan's lineage? C'mon.
  15. Ah, yes! Excellent thread! I've loved these movies since I was younger. They're just so entertaining, and the plots are fun, regardless of how much people crap all over this series for being cheesy. I don't care; this series, plus the RAMBO series, are my favourite franchises, ever. And this is from someone who owns, literally, a few thousand movies. People can say all that they want about Stallone, but the man knows his audience, and delivers the goods. Past Clint Eastwood, Stallone is probably my favourite actor/director. He knows his movies will never be high art, but he gives the people what they want....and isn't that the point of movies? Though I thought ROCKY BALBOA allowed Sly to retire the character with dignity and class, I'm not going to lie - I'm interested in the Creed movie. Should be interesting!
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