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PRIMETIMER

canucktvwatcher

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  1. Jesus, THIS. Kevin's some kind of Hacker/Computer Genius extraordinaire, but he's too fucking stupid to get rid of the ID badge he stole? FFS. The only way he could have been stupider was to don the Chipmunk costume and go lurking around the hospital. It's shit like this that shows the seams in the writing, and shows how connect the dots the whole affair is right now. This Stitch bullshit is such a fucking cop-out. Reminds me of the "bad, bad, so bad" thing that Phyllis and Ovary's Swindly Pa did - defrauding people of money. Not to say that's not bad, because obviously it is, but with that, and this, with the "a lantern got knocked over and it was all an accident", YR further proves that it's afraid to tackle any big issues with its storylines. Tragic? Yes? Shocking, in terms of story? No. They'll soft-pedal this sl out, and do the usual lame job. Sigh. Totally agree about BJ's work as Billy so far. I'm really, really trying to find something redeeming about his performances, but he's falling flatter than a pancake. Jenkins doesn't have an ounce of the charm that BM did in the role. He's so listless, whiny, and just generally a wet blanket. I've never wished so much for BM to be back in the role. JFP should be kicked right in her frumpy, ferret-faced ass for letting him go from the show. They should have been backing up dumptrucks of money to convince him to stay. The colossal fuck-up that the character's been rolled out as with BM's replacements is a cautionary tale to soap casting agents.
  2. This is the funniest goddamn thing I've read all day! It's so on point it's uncanny! Dummer needs to be taken on a tour of the Skippy factory and kicked in a giant vat when she's not looking. Give her credit, though, HK has been selling THE HELL out of the character being stupid and naive - and I mean that as a compliment! Maybe I was too quick to judge her as being unworthy of that Daytime Emmy!
  3. Unpopular Opinion: After seeing KSJ struggling this week, I think it's time to give him the pink slip. Dude is adrift in a sea of bad acting and even worse storylines. At least give him a break for about six months off the show. Goddamn he's been terrible lately. I realize that shitty writing has something to do with it, but he's been atrocious as of late. Also, I like the slow redemption they're giving Exhaustin right now. Nobody trusts the little turd, nor should they, but if they stretch this out long enough, it may make the character believable. Having said that, I fully expect the writers to fuck this up royally. I'm keeping my expectations LOW.
  4. Awwwwww yeah! MomJeans, MurphDawg, AND the possible return of the Piece of Toast Booze Blocking Trick? Count me in! Can't wait for the MomJeans snark against Crustine! Shit, this show is making ME drink right now, FFS! "They eat when the moon is full, and high in the sky! They eat when it is convenient to the plot! They eat when they think no one is paying attention to continuity! They eat when Mrs. Martinez, whom we never see, feels like cooking!" Hahahahaha!!!!! Pussy Recognition Issues! Jack is like the Ray Charles of Pussy Recognition, then? He's just so grateful to get some that he immediately loses his memory? Sounds like an enchanted object: The Pussy of Forgetting!
  5. Focusing in on this for a second. This scene wonderfully encapsulates what is wrong with the show right now: two fucking newbies no one gives a good goddamn about trying to drum up interest with a false start (aka. "Phew! That was close!"), while the audience suffers from an attack of narcolepsy. Barton Von Bartleby, Esquire, who we've seen for a total of five minutes since his character insta-married Leslie, and The Artist Formerly Known Dr. Ben Rayban? I don't give a rat's ass about these two! Seriously, if the guy playing Bartleby is putting in time on this show to get his SAG (Screen Actor's Guild) card, he's in for a LONG fucking wait. Plus, it's only a matter of time before Leslie bites her fist, realizes that she made a mistake (of course we couldn't blame Judgey McJudgerson Kneel for anything), and she's back with Kneel. Dude better make sure he gets all the scenes in he can! Though if he's lucky, the writers will have him get with Hilary after Kneel casts her aside once he loses interest and his Relationship ADD kicks in. The old switcherooni, another standby soap trope! Then we'll probably get treated to a Miss Devon/Hilary/Bartleby triangle. Man, it even sounds like shit when I write it. And the secret.....yes, the secret. I'm honestly getting to the point where I don't give an actual fuck about what it is. PB's wincing, patented clenched jaw is just further proof he's probably pissed off with the stupidity he's being handed to act out, but he's gotta roll with it. The character of Jack has got to be thinking: what worse - being shot by Patty, or putting up with with Ben and Kelly, The Wonder Twins? I'm guessing at this point, a bullet looks like the better choice. Maybe Sarge can come back and yell at all their dumb asses?
  6. Ed Grimley and Stench are a pair of useless teets, that's what they are. And yes, the writing team needs to buy a vowel and getting a fucking clue. I constantly get the feeling that they stretch this joke of a storyline out to buy more time. Because no one has a goddamn clue where to go with this steaming turd. It seems as though it's the Soap Storyline equivalent of the game of Telephone. Only no one has an idea where they wanted to go in the first place, and who the hell knows what it will end up looking like. Kevin always was a bit.....slow. Especially when it comes to social cues. He would have been better to dress up in the a Silver Chipmunk outfit and deliver her a singing telegram. It would be an improvement on quite a few aspects of the show right now. As for Hilary and Kneel stopping by the side of the road for a little "boom chucka wow wow" (in the style of the 70's disco), don't forget - he's on a budget! He's buying Hilary that fixer-upper! He can't be splurging for a fancy hotel room when the mood strikes all willy-nilly! That costs money! I suppose they could go Al Fresco, but Hilary would be picking pine needles out of her ass cheeks for a week afterwards.
  7. Of course not! Those afflictions WERE explained away, but fairly poorly, almost in passing, really. Must be something in the water in GC! Well, that or something miraculous at the GCAC.
  8. Ha! Such is their devotion to the Fetid Spawn of Lucifer's Nutsack, Victurd Screwman. I'm assuming the premise is that money will solve all problems, and Turd figures everyone has their price. And if he can't buy them, then he uses his magical blackmail and threat powers. Turd Knows All, Sees All, And Is All Powerful.....YOUGOTTHAT? :) As a viewer, I continue to wonder how EB manages to keep the fantasy world of his character going through the writing on this show. Victurd is always the smartest, the best, and the toughest, no matter how ridiculously obvious it is that this isn't the case. The writing for his character is just so implausible sometimes. I could take him buying off people to keep his power over them and for them to carry out his nefarious plans, but when stuff like him boxing guys like Stench and making it seem like he's Ali comparatively pops up, I call bullshit, as I'm sure many other viewers do too. Bottom line: Turd needs to lose once in awhile, and have things out of his control.
  9. Because then Mop and Auntie Jackie wouldn't be able to put another notch in their belt! :) And of course then we wouldn't have conflict with Billy and a returning Phyllis.
  10. See my post in the other thread. This storyline with The Artist Formerly Known As Ben Rayban is thinner than a Lay's Potato Chip. Also, anyone see NuBilly's shitty shoulder tat today while he was rolling around on the couch with ManJaw when the "repair man" snuck in? Christ, I thought Kneel's Tribal Tats were bad. This one looked like someone coloured it on with a crayon. Speaking of Kneel, KSJ was absolutely dreadful in today's Canadian ep. Good Lord it was bad. Dude was having a really, really off day. I'm wondering if it isn't tied in somehow with the son that Kelly lost. They've made sure to mention that plot point several times since Kelly's first appearance, and it is also what connected her to Billy. I could be wrong, though, and giving the writers way too much credit for bringing everything together here.
  11. How would he do this, though? I'm sure that the writers have some fuckery planned that goes along these lines, but I'm very curious as to how they're going to explain this. I'm sure it will be poorly explained with holes in logic and reasoning that you could drive a Buick through. It would seem that anyone attempting to swipe someone else's identity would be caught sooner, rather than later, and this would follow them wherever they went. It sounds like The Artist Formerly Known As Ben Rayburn DID "pay" for whatever he did wherever he was last, but I fail to see how his attempted trickery would have held up to even the weakest scrutiny at the next place he went. Meaning, how did the GC hospital not catch this when they let him intern? Was there not a background check or anything? Because that seems like kind of a logical thing when someone is going to work at a place like a hospital. Just sayin'. And his military service? Was this like the soap equivalent of the French Foreign Legion, where they don't give a shit about what you've done in your past? I would think that they would also catch whatever Stench had done. Damn, there I go overthinking this whole Dr. Rayban and his Deep Dark Secrit again. Like I said, I'm sure the explanation will fall woefully short of being anything close to reasonable or satisfying to viewers.
  12. Yep. Hear that? It's the writers, scraping the bottom of the barrel, looking for an excuse to reintroduce the character of Phyllis! Ugh. Why does Newbie Carrigan get a spotlight trailer? Do the Idiots In Charge think this is gonna raise the ratings? Frankly, I could give less than two shits about this stupid fucking reveal. We know Ditch is going to be on the show long term, and I'm sure he'll be forgiven in like two weeks anyways. Gad, can we just get past this garbage? This smacks of a "buying more time" move by the writers. I'm waiting for her to be all, "I'M GOING MENTAL!"
  13. Haha! LOVE the TWIN PEAKS reference here! :) Just once I'd like to hear Ray Wise say, "That's a damn fine cup of coffee" and order some pie at the GCAC. Maybe he uttered this line already and I've missed it! Yeah, Phallus does have a twin...Sheila, remember?! :) Yeah, I fear Pete, er, Austin Travers will turn out to be The Bestest Husband That Ever Husbanded, and the sycophantery will reach an all-time high. Who knows how I Can't Believe It's Gina Tognini NuPhyllis will take the news about the Forced Smile Wedding and Reception, though.
  14. Ha! I like a good whodunit, but honestly, the words YR and good whodunit don't belong in the same sentence. I wonder if they'll bring back Ramen Noodles and the Amazing Big Board of Clues, viewable to everyone that walks in the station? Ah, Big Board of Clues, we miss you!
  15. My question: when did Dummer become goddamned Joffrey from GAME OF THRONES? Why in the Holy Hell does every character that's related to this entitled urchin fold like an accordion when she pouts, sticks out her bottom lip, and stomps her feet? I know folks have asked this upthread and elsewhere, but it really, really is so stupid. Dummer's a meathead of the highest order. I personally can't wait until this marriage dissolves like a Tums in a wino's gut after a long night of boozing.
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