Focusing in on this for a second. This scene wonderfully encapsulates what is wrong with the show right now: two fucking newbies no one gives a good goddamn about trying to drum up interest with a false start (aka. "Phew! That was close!"), while the audience suffers from an attack of narcolepsy. Barton Von Bartleby, Esquire, who we've seen for a total of five minutes since his character insta-married Leslie, and The Artist Formerly Known Dr. Ben Rayban? I don't give a rat's ass about these two!
Seriously, if the guy playing Bartleby is putting in time on this show to get his SAG (Screen Actor's Guild) card, he's in for a LONG fucking wait. Plus, it's only a matter of time before Leslie bites her fist, realizes that she made a mistake (of course we couldn't blame Judgey McJudgerson Kneel for anything), and she's back with Kneel. Dude better make sure he gets all the scenes in he can! Though if he's lucky, the writers will have him get with Hilary after Kneel casts her aside once he loses interest and his Relationship ADD kicks in. The old switcherooni, another standby soap trope! Then we'll probably get treated to a Miss Devon/Hilary/Bartleby triangle. Man, it even sounds like shit when I write it.
And the secret.....yes, the secret. I'm honestly getting to the point where I don't give an actual fuck about what it is. PB's wincing, patented clenched jaw is just further proof he's probably pissed off with the stupidity he's being handed to act out, but he's gotta roll with it.
The character of Jack has got to be thinking: what worse - being shot by Patty, or putting up with with Ben and Kelly, The Wonder Twins? I'm guessing at this point, a bullet looks like the better choice. Maybe Sarge can come back and yell at all their dumb asses?