S09.E14: I'm Married

[Primetimer]

There's a big reveal at the end of 'I'm Married.' See if you can guess what before the end of our latest Again With This podcast!

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[Primetimer]

We've collected the most important imagery from 'I'm Married'!

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[TeslaNewton]

Matt actually looks relieved that his secret wife is there. Jennie Garth’s eyes are off in that last gif. She looks like she’s doing an epic eye twitch. 

[meggonzo]

I thought the woman in the screen shot with David was Jackie at first glance.

[WoodyCee]

Matt actually looks relieved that his secret wife is there. Jennie Garth’s eyes are off in that last gif. She looks like she’s doing an epic eye twitch. 

Bwah ha ha ha ha!!! I went back and looked and I LOVE IT

[ZeroDiscipline]

Matt's wife was also Julia's rebel friend at the beginning of Party of Five. Why do I know these things.

[ZeroDiscipline]

I remember the Lauren storyline being one of the dumbest and laziest thing the writers dreamed up. I am not a mental health professional, but I am willing to bet this is not how any of this works.

[ZeroDiscipline]

Why did I snicker at Luke Perry's tone at "His name is not Jose. It's Ramon."? Why did that come out of him so awkwardly?

[Cekrypton1]

FYI on a technical note, the sound clips sounded tinny and echo-y, like they were recorded off a tv playing in a room with bare walls and floors.

[Cekrypton1]

This Lauren plotline is so dumb, as is her behavior. The running of red lights, the dumb balloon hats. I have to think she was the inspiration of Charlize Theron's MRF character on Arrested Development.

[Kerfuffler]

That slap from Gina looked extremely lazy. Put your back into it, girl!

Matt's diploma looks like a summer camp participation certificate. And this is so nitpicky, but there's no such thing as a "Bachelor of Political Science." You get a B.A. PoliSci is a major, not a degree.

Edited October 29, 2018 by Kerfuffler

[Kimmykun]

I don't mind the green hair on Steve?

[Nanna]

Having a “comedy” plotline involving corpses in freezers is really in a soap/drama series. One moment: social injustice - the next moment: teehee, this guy died and we put him in the freezer. What?! And strip poker? Are they 15 years old? 

[yousetmeupyoucrud]

"Reader, I married him" is indeed from Jane Eyre. I wrote a paper in undergrad where I pointed out the line's feminist subtext. 

But I digress. Maybe Steve and Donna need to be put in an institution cuz in this episode they are straight up sociopaths. Also I'm not sure how LA does it, but usually health inspections aren't scheduled. They just randomly show up. Unless Noah or Nat is giving the health department a kickback.

Oh and I'm also curious what's with Donna and now Gina being so eager to offer emotional labor for their boyfriends. Is it genetic? 

Edited October 30, 2018 by yousetmeupyoucrud

[MCMLXXVII]

10 hours ago, Kerfuffler said:

That slap from Gina looked extremely lazy. Put your back into it, girl!

Matt's diploma looks like a summer camp participation certificate. And this is so nitpicky, but there's no such thing as a "Bachelor of Political Science." You get a B.A. PoliSci is a major, not a degree.

Also, have you ever known a Matt who’s not a Matthew? A degree should have your entire government name on it.

[MCMLXXVII]

5 hours ago, Nanna said:

Having a “comedy” plotline involving corpses in freezers is really in a soap/drama series. One moment: social injustice - the next moment: teehee, this guy died and we put him in the freezer. What?! And strip poker? Are they 15 years old? 

The episode aired Feb ‘99, just enough time to rip off the plot of “Very Bad Things” which came out in Nov. ‘98.

[CurlyATX]

I am in love with the top 5 lifetime movies starring the BevNiners.  I know we've talked about them in the past- but I just love them.  This could have easily been a top 10.  I'd add for honorable mention "Lies of the Heart- the Laurie Kellog story" (Garth and Trapper John MD), Death of a Cheerleader (Spelling and Becca from Life Goes on), and She Fought Alone (TAT and BAG).

So, this marriage with Matt and Lauren- was it so she could get health benefits? How was she ok with him dating Kelly? I'm so confused...

[Cekrypton1]

How was Mother May I Sleep With Danger not the #1 BevNiner movie? Surely it wins on title alone?

[Tara Ariano]

On 10/29/2018 at 11:15 AM, Cekrypton1 said:

FYI on a technical note, the sound clips sounded tinny and echo-y, like they were recorded off a tv playing in a room with bare walls and floors.

Can you give more detail on the circumstances under which you listened? I just played it in my headphones from the player on the episode page on the site and the clips sound normal to me.

[TeeVee329]

18 hours ago, Nanna said:

And strip poker? Are they 15 years old? 

And Noah cheated to ensure that his girlfriend had to strip down to her G-string in front of his friends, including her ex-boyfriend?  Huh?

Another note regarding the timeline of Matt's law career Sarah D. Bunting so eloquently laid out - he also apparently worked at some big-time law firm long enough that he got burnt out and went into practice for himself helping "the little guy", which also doesn't fit into the time frame of Lauren's institutionalization this episode presents.

Sarah and Tara cracking up during the "Luke Perry: Teen Heartthrob" excerpt was so charming.

[CurlyATX]

I guess there is a time warp in the BevNine universe- criminal trials take days after the incident, so why can't you finish your undergrad, go to law school, pass the bar, work at a large firm, get burnt out and start your own practice in just 3 years. 

Was Donna topless in just a G string? I must be friends with a bunch of nerds because we have NEVER done something like this.  The last thing I want is to see my friends (or step siblings) or former boyfriends without clothes.

[CurlyATX]

15 hours ago, MCMLXXVII said:

Also, have you ever known a Matt who’s not a Matthew? A degree should have your entire government name on it.

I know this is lazy writing/prop department.  However nowadays there a bunch of kids with full legal names that are typically "nicknames" like Jack, Drew, Nate, Andy, Johnny and Tommy.  I think there even is a girl in my son's class named Charlie. 

[StatMom]

On 10/29/2018 at 12:25 PM, Kerfuffler said:

Matt's diploma looks like a summer camp participation certificate. And this is so nitpicky, but there's no such thing as a "Bachelor of Political Science." You get a B.A. PoliSci is a major, not a degree.

Right! And do law schools confer bachelors degrees of any kind? Not that I know of. This thing is even jankier than I imagined. See also: "School of Law, New York."  I know it was the 90's, but couldn't anyone have Yahoo'ed/Webcrawled/Infoseeked what an actual law degree looks like? Apparently not.

[Cekrypton1]

On 10/30/2018 at 12:28 PM, Tara Ariano said:

Can you give more detail on the circumstances under which you listened? I just played it in my headphones from the player on the episode page on the site and the clips sound normal to me.

Downloaded from iTunes on Monday morning, listened to it on my iPhone with the same headphones I've always used.

[Earmuffs Mom]

On 10/30/2018 at 11:28 AM, Tara Ariano said:

Can you give more detail on the circumstances under which you listened? I just played it in my headphones from the player on the episode page on the site and the clips sound normal to me.

The first clip from the prank war sounded off to me too, but the rest were normal.  I also downloaded and listened from iTunes.

[Tara Ariano]

2 hours ago, Cekrypton1 said:

Downloaded from iTunes on Monday morning, listened to it on my iPhone with the same headphones I've always used.

I don't know what to tell you! Sometimes Pocket Casts gets garbagey and I have to restart it, but that wouldn't explain why only the clips sound weird to you but the rest of the audio was fine.

[Sarah D. Bunting]

Quote

there a bunch of kids with full legal names that are typically "nicknames" like Jack

ha, I didn't even notice the "Matt" thing -- possibly because I'm married to a non-Daniel Dan?

[Eldemarge]

Another person chiming in to say that I owned the yellow, 90s glasses.

[allicatexp]

The woman that played Carole (that spelling is how it is credited on IMDb) is really an actress. Her name is Jennifer Griffin Chambers...color me surprised.

[Tara Ariano]

25 minutes ago, allicatexp said:

The woman that played Carole (that spelling is how it is credited on IMDb) is really an actress.

Normally I do check, but I guess I was biased in favour of my mother's spelling. Fixed!

[Lurky McLurkerson]

On 10/30/2018 at 3:28 PM, StatMom said:

Right! And do law schools confer bachelors degrees of any kind? Not that I know of. This thing is even jankier than I imagined. See also: "School of Law, New York."  I know it was the 90's, but couldn't anyone have Yahoo'ed/Webcrawled/Infoseeked what an actual law degree looks like? Apparently not.

If all you got from law school (in the US) is a B.A., you should sue for your tuition money back.  US law schools should confer a juris doctor (JD) and should only be a 3-year program unless you're doing part-time or a joint masters/JD program.  Law school is also waaaaaaayyyyyy more expensive than undergrad.

[Scarlett45]

On 10/30/2018 at 8:39 AM, CurlyATX said:

So, this marriage with Matt and Lauren- was it so she could get health benefits? How was she ok with him dating Kelly? I'm so confused...

So according to the plot line of the show (yes this storyline was handled so poorly)- they were married for typical “love/romantic” reasons at a young age (Before Lauren was diagnosed) and after Lauren’s diagnosis and placement in a residential facility, Matt moved to LA. 

While I did agree with @Tara Ariano and @Sarah D. Bunting- that Matt should’ve stayed near the facility or decided to end his marriage, I am not surprised that Lauren wasn’t upset with him dating Kelly (he was dating her, not having a child with her or committing bigomy).

Lauren was not able to be a partner or companion to him for a very long time (of course it wasn’t her fault!) I don’t know if they discussed it (while she was able) but I wouldn’t be surprised if they discussed him waiting on a possible treatment for her. It’s similar to spouses caring for their husband/wife with dementia, who may have a friend/companion to meet their emotional/social and sexual needs while they continue to be a caregiver to their spouse (but Matt was doing no caregiving!!) Or a couple deciding to stay married while one is incarcerated, but the incarcerated spouse understanding that the other spouse may seek partnered sex or companionship with someone else while they are in prison.

 

Lauren distinctly asked Matt if he wanted to go on with their marriage- she was the most mature out of everyone. And yes, Matt absolutely should’ve told Kelly the entire story as soon as there was an inkling that they were about to get serious. 

[Judi Sunshine]

On 10/30/2018 at 7:39 AM, CurlyATX said:

I am in love with the top 5 lifetime movies starring the BevNiners.  I know we've talked about them in the past- but I just love them.  This could have easily been a top 10.  I'd add for honorable mention "Lies of the Heart- the Laurie Kellog story" (Garth and Trapper John MD), Death of a Cheerleader (Spelling and Becca from Life Goes on), and She Fought Alone (TAT and BAG).

So, this marriage with Matt and Lauren- was it so she could get health benefits? How was she ok with him dating Kelly? I'm so confused...

LOVE "She Fought Alone!!!"