Small Talk: Take It Outside! Carryover Conversations

[Drogo]

The Small Talk topic is for:

• Introductions
• Off-topic chatter
• Having virtual tea with forum buddies

This is NOT a topic for actual show discussion. When you want to talk about the show:

1. Figure out the nature of the topic you want to talk about
2. Look for an existing topic that matches or fits
3. If there is NOT an existing topic that fits, CREATE ONE!

Examples of topics that populate show forums include (but by no means are limited to):

• Character topics
• Spoiler topics
• Comparison topics
• Speculation topics
• In the Media topics
• Favourite X topics
• ...you get the idea

Happy trails beyond Small Talk!

[jennblevins]

Okay, I’ll play. 

 

From the Royal Weddings and Scandals thread:

On 10/17/2018 at 3:22 PM, DearEvette said:

Totally off topic but... funnily enough, that Sarah Mayberry book is really good.  I've read it.  No lie.  Also, in a nice bit of synergy, the heroine is 38 years old who is trying to get pregnant for the first time.  Also, the author is Australian.

 

Thanks for the recommendation — I have a slow bus commute, so I’m always looking for good books to read. I downloaded it from the library here, and finished it a few days ago, and yep — really good.  Kind of emotional to read, given my personal situation, but good.  For such an, uh, unusual setup, it seemed very realistic, if that makes any sense?  And I loved Ethan’s relationship with his brother. And I also appreciated that

Spoiler

at the end, Alex is only pregnant (and that after having a miscarriage) — it keeps it from becoming a love story between a woman and her children, which can sometimes happen when the epilogue is more about babies ever after and less about happily ever after. (Again, personal problems here.  Other people may not care.)

I’ve downloaded another book by the same author, and I’m looking forward to reading it. 

 

The book in question, for anyone who’s still reading here, is The Best Laid Plans, by Sarah Mayberry. It’s a Harlequin romance, but don’t let that stop you. 

Thanks for creating this thread, @Drogo!  

Edited October 26, 2018 by jennblevins
Spelling.

[festivus]

Great idea for a thread. I like to small talk but I can't keep up with all the many threads everywhere and I just don't feel like I can post if I haven't read everything in the thread. I'll be able to keep up with just one though.

[Anela]

I always end up off-topic, if I'm not careful, so I prefer general chat threads. I've been a part of four large communities (aside from this one), and loved things like a photography thread, what's for dinner? and so on. I keep forgetting about the "everything else" forum here. I made a lot of friends over the years, once I got over my shyness enough to interact. 

Edited October 27, 2018 by Anela

[Tanichka]

On 2018-10-26 at 9:57 PM, Anela said:

I always end up off-topic, if I'm not careful, so I prefer general chat threads. I've been a part of four large communities (aside from this one), and loved things like a photography thread, what's for dinner? and so on. I keep forgetting about the "everything else" forum here. I made a lot of friends over the years, once I got over my shyness enough to interact. 

A lot of these sub-sections are hard to find.  Keep forgetting which ones have “Everything Else”.

[GaT]

26 minutes ago, Tanichka said:

A lot of these sub-sections are hard to find.  Keep forgetting which ones have “Everything Else”.

Or "all episode talk"

[Guest]

On 10/28/2018 at 4:29 PM, Tanichka said:

A lot of these sub-sections are hard to find.  Keep forgetting which ones have “Everything Else”.

The one and only thing I liked better about TWOP was most shows would not rate their own sub forum and they'd get archived after being off air for a while.

I found that there was much more to discuss when there was, as an example, a forum for all sci fi shows and one topic per any show that didn't have its own forum.  Whatever raised to the top of a page would create discussion. 

As an example, I've been watching Pushing Daisies for the first time but no one ever goes over there so not much point in posting about it.

[Tanichka]

On 31/10/2018 at 8:02 PM, ParadoxLost said:

The one and only thing I liked better about TWOP was most shows would not rate their own sub forum and they'd get archived after being off air for a while.

I found that there was much more to discuss when there was, as an example, a forum for all sci fi shows and one topic per any show that didn't have its own forum.  Whatever raised to the top of a page would create discussion. 

 

I'm wondering why they don't archive the old stuff.  For example, The View, has episodes going way back.  Nobody is going to comment on them.  Just keep the last 2 or 3 months up.  So hard to plow through when you're looking for something.

[Anela]

[Anela]

Just something cheerful for a Friday morning. 

[SuprSuprElevated]

Smart tip: whats-my-name

[Browncoat]

5 hours ago, SuprSuprElevated said:

Smart tip: whats-my-name

Unfortunately, sitting in the back seat may not help if the car has child-proof door locks.

[Anela]

Laura Vandevoort posted on twitter in the last month or so, to Uber, I think it was, that they had a man show up again, who was not the Uber they ordered. She said she wasn't going to use their service anymore. I guess it was someone who creeped them out, like a stalker-type guy who wasn't even a driver for them.

Edited April 2, 2019 by Anela

[Anela]

This must have been the first time:

https://twitter.com/Vandiekins22/status/1073016768652705792/photo/1

[Anela]

 

Edited April 2, 2019 by Anela

[Anela]

I ignored the youtube drama that people were talking about recently, because I didn't know who either of the people involved were, and someone told me not to bother, when I said that I'd google. 

This week, there has been drama in the gaming world, and so I've seen the drama, because it directly involved someone that I've followed for about eighteen months. I saw something called Drama Alert, people were talking about cancel culture, and people checking youtube subscriber numbers. So I checked it out, and left the page open. One guy's  numbers were slowly going down, over the past two days. As soon as he posted a video response, last night, his numbers started to go up again. Anyway, it made me glad that I'm not a celebrity in any form, no matter how much I'd love the millions that make.

[Angeltoes]

My mother died last week.  She was on hospice off and on for a couple of years.

[praeceptrix]

24 minutes ago, Angeltoes said:

My mother died last week.  She was on hospice off and on for a couple of years.

My condolences for your loss. I hope that the hospice care helped your mother and your family.

When my mom needed hospice care, 20+ years ago, doctors were reluctant to admit that there was nothing else to do, so the referral for hospice care was delayed until quite late (hell, I think we had to fight for it to be at home, rather than in a facility).

[Angeltoes]

Thank you!  Hospice was amazing.  They are angels on this earth.  I'm sorry you had to go through that with your mom.  

[Annber03]

Adding to the condolences, @Angeltoes. I'm glad your mom had good people looking out for her in her final years. 

[andromeda331]

2 hours ago, Angeltoes said:

My mother died last week.  She was on hospice off and on for a couple of years.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

[Angeltoes]

Thank you, everyone!  My mom was 96 so it wasn't a huge shock.  The big shock was that we lost my uncle (her little brother) three days before her.  I guess he, too, had been under hospice care but my aunt didn't want to tell the extended family.  My mother's sister went from being the middle kid to being an only child in the space of days.

[Annber03]

Oh, how awful. Condolences to your aunt, too-that would be so rough. 

[roamyn]

15 hours ago, Angeltoes said:

My mother died last week.  She was on hospice off and on for a couple of years.

I’m so sorry @Angeltoes.  These are trying times to lose someone.  My MIL died last week aft being invalid for seven months.  We don’t live in a close state, so last hubby saw her was January.

[Angeltoes]

Thank you, roamyn, and my condolences to you and your husband.  We hadn't see our Mom since March and we didn't get to celebrate her birthday or Mother's Day with her.  I doubt if she missed us because of the dementia but we missed her.

[MissAlmond]

19 hours ago, Angeltoes said:

My mother died last week.  She was on hospice off and on for a couple of years.

My condolences to you and your loved ones.  

[Annber03]

5 hours ago, roamyn said:

I’m so sorry @Angeltoes.  These are trying times to lose someone.  My MIL died last week aft being invalid for seven months.  We don’t live in a close state, so last hubby saw her was January.

Condolences to you and your husband as well. That's rough.

My heart breaks regarding the news about Naya Rivera. So surreal and awful. I just feel so bad for her poor son. 

[Jaded]

In case anyone else wondered where this thread actually was...

[GHScorpiosRule]

Am I going crazy? I could have sworn we had a "Still Not Over It" about Television characters' deaths thread for television, but I can't find it.

Does anyone know if it was merged with another thread?

[Bastet]

3 hours ago, GHScorpiosRule said:

Am I going crazy? I could have sworn we had a "Still Not Over It" about Television characters' deaths thread for television, but I can't find it.

Does anyone know if it was merged with another thread?

That's the name of the thread in Movies.  The one for TV is called Bye, Felicia.  It's here.

[GHScorpiosRule]

1 minute ago, Bastet said:

That's the name of the thread in Movies.  The one for TV is called Bye, Felicia.  It's here.

Thanks @Bastet!

[CrazyInAlabama]

To me it's very sad that some like Britney Spears (spelling?) and others,  spend their entire life posting online.   No such thing as a private conversation, nothing too personal to post on multiple media.  However, I bet the ex, and sons have Britney blocked on everything they can, and probably have others who pass along everything to them, or see it posted on media.   

I can't imagine some of the influencers or celebrities who post every meal, every activity, and all to get more followers.   The worst are the wanna be influencers who thing everything they do is fascinating to the rest of us.    Though I understand you can buy followers, which explains all of the  'people you may know' suggestions for people I don't even know. 

[SunnyBeBe]

On 9/4/2022 at 9:55 AM, CrazyInAlabama said:

To me it's very sad that some like Britney Spears (spelling?) and others,  spend their entire life posting online.   No such thing as a private conversation, nothing too personal to post on multiple media.  However, I bet the ex, and sons have Britney blocked on everything they can, and probably have others who pass along everything to them, or see it posted on media.   

I can't imagine some of the influencers or celebrities who post every meal, every activity, and all to get more followers.   The worst are the wanna be influencers who thing everything they do is fascinating to the rest of us.    Though I understand you can buy followers, which explains all of the  'people you may know' suggestions for people I don't even know. 

I think it’s odd how for years there was hardly anything in the media about Britney or her sons.  Then, I recall I saw a few videos of her doing bizarre yoga poses or dance moves online.  I played one for my brother and he commented how weird it was.  He said man, she’s really out there….FF a few months and her conservatorship was being challenged.  It’s gone pretty downhill since.  I suspect it’s only the beginning and more people will be cut from her life, like her Dad, mom, sister, housekeeper, ex husband, and kids.  

[Palimelon]

Quote

She's now going to pay the ultimate price for being foolish and it's so horrible

We don't know that for sure.

[Notabug]

2 hours ago, Palimelon said:

We don't know that for sure.

We can only go by the numbers.  About 70% of stage IV breast cancer patients will die within 5 years of diagnosis.  Virtually everyone who survives 5 years is not cancer free and will probably eventually die from it.  There are some promising new therapies, but, in general, Stage IV breast cancer is treatable but not curable.

When Lewis was originally diagnosed, she was Stage 3 which has about a 90% 5 year survival. 10% death rate vs 70% is a very big difference.

The difference between Stages 3 and 4 is that 3 is a cancer with local spread to nearby lymph nodes, etc while Stage 4 is distant metastases, usually to the bone, the lungs, liver or brain.  Due to the distant disease, patients with Stage IV breast cancer also usually have a poorer quality of life due to significant bone pain, liver dysfunction, breathing problems and headaches, neurologic deficits and or seizures from metastatic disease. 

It's not just the quantity, its the quality of life and Ms Lewis may have significantly compromised that, too, in addition to her survival by opting not to treat her cancer originally.

Edited October 16 by Notabug

[tearknee]

I'm all for utopia but given what I have been through in my childhood and also the reality of stage IV cancer false hope is something that should never be proffered. That's part of why she *is* in stage IV, after all.

[Palimelon]

Given what I have been through in my own childhood, sometimes false hope is what is needed to get us through the day.

However and whatever type of treatment she gets, I hope for nothing but the best for her.

[tearknee]

9 hours ago, Dimity said:

 

Respect, maybe, and only if they are not making those choices for a minor. Do agree about not shaming. Unless this is a close family member it is very much mind your own business.

This whole not shaming or not criticizing never made sense to me -- as it functionally protects people who have made foolish and incompetent choices, the negative consequences of which to themselves and/or innocents are usually quite visible and foreseeable.

Edited October 17 by tearknee

[Makai]

2 hours ago, tearknee said:

This whole not shaming or not criticizing never made sense to me -- as it functionally protects people who have made foolish and incompetent choices, the negative consequences of which to themselves and/or innocents are usually quite visible and foreseeable.

I don’t see how shaming or criticizing someone with an illness protects them or anyone else. It’s not like following traditional treatment plans guarantee survival. Each patient has to choose what path is right for them. 

[shapeshifter]

7 hours ago, Makai said:

I don’t see how shaming or criticizing someone with an illness protects them or anyone else. It’s not like following traditional treatment plans guarantee survival. Each patient has to choose what path is right for them. 

I still recall the barely-below-the-surface anger of a chemotherapy nurse when she quietly, briefly explained that Steve Jobs' cancer would have been survivable if he'd sought standard medical treatment instead of alternative.
Bob Marley comes to my mind when I recall her anger/frustration. 
No shaming or criticizing.  
When celebrities die due to untreated, curable disease, it is educational, just as when we read about circumstances surrounding their tragic overdoses. 
Of course, it would be better if we learned these things through their continuing to live, but sometimes life's not like that.

[tearknee]

49 minutes ago, shapeshifter said:

I still recall the barely-below-the-surface anger of a chemotherapy nurse when she quietly, briefly explained that Steve Jobs' cancer would have been survivable if he'd sought standard medical treatment instead of alternative.
Bob Marley comes to my mind when I recall her anger/frustration. 
No shaming or criticizing.  
When celebrities die due to untreated, curable disease, it is educational, just as when we read about circumstances surrounding their tragic overdoses. 
Of course, it would be better if we learned these things through their continuing to live, but sometimes life's not like that.

Exactly. And activists and representatives tend to be self-appointed and not actually representative of their communities in the ways that they purport to be, as most people are not poli-social activists or even politically minded. But it's better for me to take the frustration at these issues to a non-TV board. So, I will. My apologies.

[Notabug]

8 hours ago, Makai said:

I don’t see how shaming or criticizing someone with an illness protects them or anyone else. It’s not like following traditional treatment plans guarantee survival. Each patient has to choose what path is right for them. 

True, but I don't think it is wrong to point out that the unorthodox path that someone chose did not work out.  Following traditional treatments doesn't guarantee survival, but there is data to back them up and show that people treated with those methods are much more likely to survive and perhaps even be cured than someone who is untreated or uses non-traditional, unproven therapies.

If you read the article, Ms. Lewis says that she came up with her own treatment plan based on 'knowing her body' that mainly included dietary changes, meditation, yoga, etc while foregoing surgery, radiation and chemotherapy.  It's one thing to decide not to treat a cancer as one's personal choice, lots of people diagnosed with Stage IV cancer will do that.  It's a whole other thing to think that, with no training or experience or even any input from a professional; that one's own personal impressions are as valid as those of people who've done the research.  There's a lot of that going on in the world today and we're not better off for it.

BTW, diet, exercise, meditation, etc have been shown to be excellent auxiliary therapies in cancer patients and most big treatment centers provide excellent information on how to access and utilize these things; it's just thinking that that those are curative by themselves that gets someone into trouble.

Suzanne Somers famously claimed to have treated her breast cancer holistically with diet and herbs; conveniently forgetting to mention that she had already undergone a lumpectomy and radiation therapy prior to deciding not to use adjuvant chemotherapy.  There are a lot of people who survived breast cancer with just surgery and radiation; the chemo just increases that number significantly.  As it was, she was not cancer-free and died 24 years after her initial diagnosis.  She sold a lot of books claiming to have cured herself of breast cancer which I find despicable.

[roamyn]

3 hours ago, proserpina65 said:

I'm fine with people making their own decisions but I absolutely do not have to respect someone who chooses not to treat cancer when it's still at the point where they could have years left.

My FIL elected no to have traditional treatment for his cancer and he was only 65.  He went through one cycle of chemo and felt his quality of life wasn't worth it.  We respected his decision and honestly he was able to do things with his family that chemo likely would've prevented.  Would he have beaten it or extended his life?  Possibly, he was stage 3.  But that was between him, my MIL and God, as he put it.  So your saying my FIL is to be mocked or talked down abt.

Hearing someone say they have no respect for those who chose differently, angers me.  No one knows what someone is going through spiritually, physically or mentally.  Instead of trashing them we should support them, love them, and member them fondly.

 

Edited October 22 by roamyn

[Dimity]

56 minutes ago, roamyn said:

Hearing someone say they have no respect for those who chose differently, angers me.

For me it depends on the reasons for the choice.  As one example Meat Loaf chose not to be vaccinated for Covid, "if I die, I die" so yeah, he ended up dying because of that choice.  No respect.

[roamyn]

3 hours ago, tearknee said:

A line has to be drawn somewhere.

You can draw your line, that's okay.

But you have no right to treat others who have drawn their own line with contempt and scorn, when it's counterproductive. 

[roamyn]

3 hours ago, Dimity said:

For me it depends on the reasons for the choice.  As one example Meat Loaf chose not to be vaccinated for Covid, "if I die, I die" so yeah, he ended up dying because of that choice.  No respect.

I will agree with this.  Same with Tua Tagliavoa saying he would die for football and he's not going to retire or wear a Guardian helmet, for his two little babies sake.

[Notabug]

2 hours ago, roamyn said:

I will agree with this.  Same with Tua Tagliavoa saying he would die for football and he's not going to retire or wear a Guardian helmet, for his two little babies sake.

My big issue is with those who make these choices in a vacuum of self-absorption and fail to take into account others who could be harmed by their decision.

Tua's kids didn't ask to be born, presumably they love their father and, if he is permanently incapacitated or even dies due to a brain injury; it is going to make their lives so much more difficult.  Tua wants to play football and has decided that that is more important than trying to be present and healthy for his kids.

Same thing with people who ride motorcycles without helmets or don't use seatbelts.  They claim it is their choice only.  Well, aside from the effects on their family and friends if they're killed or disabled due to it; the other motorists who might be involved in a collision with them are also not going to be the same, either.  There's also the fact that, once a person suffers a serious, permanent disability due to their lack of concern for safety; they are often going to end up dependent on government assistance to the tune of millions of dollars over the course of their life. For some reason, it seems that those who complain the most about other people living on public assistance and squandering their tax dollars are the same ones who complain that their rights are being trampled when society tries to limit their risk of ending up disabled. They may feel it is their choice, but they fail to see the consequences affecting others.

Edited October 23 by Notabug

[tearknee]

7 hours ago, roamyn said:

You can draw your line, that's okay.

But you have no right to treat others who have drawn their own line with contempt and scorn, when it's counterproductive. 

Someone like Lewis? Who made an asinine "choice" that has not only all but certainly doomed her to death, but as another poster points out, not an easy or gentle death but a miserable and difficult one.

Edited October 23 by tearknee

[roamyn]

6 hours ago, tearknee said:

Someone like Lewis? Who made an asinine "choice"

YES.  Except the "asinine".  

I hope no one in your family makes a choice you don't like.  Because obviously you would bully them to go by YOUR rules.

ETA:  My grandfather suffered FAR MORE with chemo than my FIL did.  And they both lived the same length of time aft diagnosis.

I'm done. *thanks for calling my FIL and others "asses"

Edited October 23 by roamyn

[Dimity]

6 hours ago, tearknee said:

Someone like Lewis? Who made an asinine "choice" that has not only all but certainly doomed her to death, but as another poster points out, not an easy or gentle death but a miserable and difficult one.

I come from a family where many work in health care (definitely not me BTW) and this is something I've heard from them over the years.  Cancer is not an easy death.  Thank god for MAID (medical assistance in dying).  And to bring this back on topic - with Weinstein's recent diagnosis I wonder if this is as option that is offered to inmates when they reach a point where there is no treatment left.

Edited October 23 by Dimity