S07.E12: The Art of Communication

[Ilovepie]

This season has become painful to watch. Were these seriously the best women they saw in Dallas? Nightmares, all three. I think they finally found three guys ready for marriage and they saddled them with a criminal, a neurotic, and an ice queen. Great job “experts”!

It is the same thing every single week: Amber is insecure and Dave is uptight, Bobby is great and Danielle is closed off, Tristan and Mia lay under a blanket. What a snooze. I think at this point I would prefer a show just focusing on the pets....

[Waterlilly]

They all seem insecure. 

[humbleopinion]

Dog report : Just vintage stock film of Mr. Henry when his astraphobia was revealed.

Gracie the poopy puppy answering the door with Danielle when Dr. J came to the house.

Nellie with Bobby as he fixes the outdoor cushions for their shit stirring session....

 

Asst. producer: Where's Tristan?

Crew Member: Under that stripey blanket. Where's Mia?

 Intern: Under that brown blanket.

Producer: Time to do the scene.

I'll set up the polka dotted blanket on the bed for the both of them to crawl under.

Anybody else think this season is really easy to block and do lighting checks?....

Edited September 20, 2018 by humbleopinion

[Neurochick]

7 hours ago, Yeah No said:

I agree, but I think there's something else going on here.  Danielle saying "she just wants to be really sure she feels it before she says it" is a clue as to what that is.  I think Bobby is in part responsible.  He's smothering her to the point that she's unsure as to whether she really loves HIM or whether she just loves all the stuff he does for her.  I can see his behavior putting her in that kind of quandary.  A guy can sweep a woman off her feet with all sorts of grand gestures, but it may confuse her as to whether her feelings are for him or just all the grand gestures.  Bobby needs to back off a little bit so Danielle can "find her feelings" for him.   If he could just stop being so insecure and smothering her with all this stuff he does for her, she might be able to take a step back and realize she really does love the bloke.  Then saying the "L" word would probably be much easier for her.  I got the feeling it wasn't so much not being able to say it as her wanting to be really sure before she said it.

I think this is a great point.  But it’s kind of sad that someone has to question another person doing nice things for them.  Maybe that’s a reason so many women marry assholes, they don’t trust a man who does the right thing.  They’re always waiting for the other shoe to drop, wondering what their true motives are.

[qtpye]

7 hours ago, Yeah No said:

Yeah, and I think that's because Dave is actually EXTRA demanding.  Amber is bound to feel like she is wanting with a guy like him.  He sends out all sorts of signals that she isn't good enough for him so I think it's no wonder that she feels insecure with him and like he is too much work.  Because he is.   Meanwhile, what is HE doing EXTRA for her?  Not much that I can see, plus he has high expectations.  All he does is sit in his little detached, unemotional ivory tower passing judgment on her every move.   I think this is Dave's pattern with women and why he's still single at age 37.  Then when Amber feels insecure, it's all HER fault?  I don't think so.  I don't think a woman should feel like a man is too much work to please.  If he showed her he accepted her whether or not she's perfect she'd feel free to do all sorts of wonderful EXTRAS for him.  Otherwise, why bother?

 

I think Amber's insecurity with Dave is justified in that he is not into her and that can not feel good. The show is trying to gaslight her into thinking otherwise but she is not a fool. Dave will only stay married to her if there is some financial incentive involved, otherwise, I think he was done after the honeymoon.

57 minutes ago, Neurochick said:

I think this is a great point.  But it’s kind of sad that someone has to question another person doing nice things for them.  Maybe that’s a reason so many women marry assholes, they don’t trust a man who does the right thing.  They’re always waiting for the other shoe to drop, wondering what their true motives are.

Everyone seems so befuddled about how fast Bobby has fallen for her, he is really head over heels. When I say everyone, I mean the so-called "experts", his mama, and Danielle.

As for women marrying assholes, there has been some proof that despite what they say, some women actually find a guy who is a little cold and distant "manly" and I guy who waits on them hand and foot "weak". This is obviously a stupid way to think but I have seen it again and again in real life (not with me but with people I know).

On the other hand, I have seen guys reject very nice girls and run after bitches because they "enjoy the chase and drama" even though they say otherwise. I know a man who loves that his girlfriend was so possessive that she would actually send threatening emails to women that worked with him. He actually was called into HR and almost lost his job. He would complain about it but you could see that he loved the drama.

Edited September 20, 2018 by qtpye

[Yeah No]

2 hours ago, Neurochick said:

I think this is a great point.  But it’s kind of sad that someone has to question another person doing nice things for them.  Maybe that’s a reason so many women marry assholes, they don’t trust a man who does the right thing.  They’re always waiting for the other shoe to drop, wondering what their true motives are.

1 hour ago, qtpye said:

I think Amber's insecurity with Dave is justified in that he is not into her and that can not feel good. The show is trying to gaslight her into thinking otherwise but she is not a fool. Dave will only stay married to her if there is some financial incentive involved, otherwise, I think he was done after the honeymoon.

Two amazingly excellent points!!

Re: Danielle and Bobby - It's always tricky when one person falls for the other relatively early before the other one has.  Sometimes it's best to keep a little quiet about it until the other person comes around, but Bobby is wearing it on his sleeve so Danielle is confronted with it 24/7.  

Re: Amber - I think if she were matched with a guy that liked her she would look way more confident and secure.  There's nothing worse than being forced to live with someone that's obviously not into you.  This show forces them to do that and it can make someone look far more insecure than they really are.  Amber is not able to hide this as well as some others might, but even the ones that hide it well feel that way.

[JapMo]

2 hours ago, qtpye said:

Dave will only stay married to her if there is some financial incentive involved, otherwise, I think he was done after the honeymoon.

Once he made the connection that Amber was the woman his gym friend had talked about, I have to believe it was hard for Dave to get that out of his head, whatever it was.  That's why I was kind of surprised they actually showed up at the gym together (and Dave was in regular clothes and not hiding his face under a hoodie or something).

Speaking of Amber, I thought she looked really cute and very athletic and coordinated when she was keeping up with all the steps in the exercise class.  And then she ruins it by getting irritated that Dave spoke to her (brunette) friends.  

[Marsh]

Amber: "I have to land all the dance moves to look good for Dave."

How about you just dance for YOURSELF?  You're surrounded by 100 people no one's watching you.  So insecure.

 

And Dave was being kind of a baby when he was doing the ninja warrior obstacle course.  Blindfolded or not, he had ropes to hold onto and he had a harness.  And he's tall - stick your leg out to walk dude.

You put any other guy in that building and they would have so much fun that they wouldn't come out for days.

 

Also Dr. Blondie needs to stop trying to stir up trouble with her videos.

[aphroditewitch]

On 9/19/2018 at 8:20 AM, humbleopinion said:

Agreed, TV cameras with production crew trailing him must make Dave look more handsome, wittier, and more hunky to bystanders like Ashley who are wearing TV goggles....

Bet donuts to dollars, Ashley and Amber went through the MAFS application, interviews and auditions together and it still chaps Ashley's hide that Amber was chosen when it is obvious to EVERYONE that Ashley is more Dave's type...

What Ashley forgets is that Amber is the tent pole...it is her wreck of a life, her insecurities, her bundle of idiosyncrasies that the producers are showcasing...

The producers are not showcasing it, they are manipulating it. They want a sad desperate woman narrative. I would bet she is not nearly as insecure as the show is making her seem. 

[humbleopinion]

Mama Dodd does seem underwhelmed by Danielle and why her baby has fallen so hard for her.

Bobby most probably reassures Mama over the phone but she just doesn't see it.

 Danielle is eager to impress Mama and Tricia so that bodes well for her sticking around after Decision Day.

The wedding album would be the ideal gift for the mom who didn't get to take any photos or see any wedding video because of the show's restrictions so thumbs up for me.

Amber is getting the town without pity edit.

Amber will get a chance to defend herself over the dance class jealousy situation, give her assessment of her actions on the roped course on the next Unfiltered.

Bobby will get his chance to stand by his woman who is null and void of any emotions to anything except Henry.

Both are good Unfiltered guests as were Dave and Danielle.

JamieO is JamieO.

[Ilovepie]

5 hours ago, qtpye said:

I think Amber's insecurity with Dave is justified in that he is not into her and that can not feel good.

I think it's a chicken or the egg situation - which came first? I think her insecurity turned him off and she sensed it, so it's making her more insecure, which just annoys him further. It's a vicious circle at this point and they are just a terrible match because they bring out the worst in each other. Dave seems happy, funny and relaxed when he is with literally anybody else besides Amber. She on the other hand, seems neurotic with everyone she interacts with. I think there is a reason she has only dated "Dallas Douches" - any sane, reasonable, well adjusted man would not be willing to put up with her brand of crazy for long.

29 minutes ago, humbleopinion said:

Danielle is eager to impress Mama and Tricia so that bodes well for her sticking around after Decision Day.

I'm not sure telling two SAHM apologists that you want to kill yourself around other people's kids is a winning strategy.......

[gonecrackers]

2 hours ago, aphroditewitch said:

The producers are not showcasing it, they are manipulating it. They want a sad desperate woman narrative. I would bet she is not nearly as insecure as the show is making her seem. 

Most likely. The thing about her friend felt very staged to drive the point home - Dave likes tall brunettes & Amber is insecure about it. Damn you show, I get it already.

1 hour ago, Ilovepie said:

1 hour ago, humbleopinion said:

Danielle is eager to impress Mama and Tricia so that bodes well for her sticking around after Decision Day.

I'm not sure telling two SAHM apologists that you want to kill yourself around other people's kids is a winning strategy.......

Had the same thought; she wasn't reading the room too well with that statement.

Edited September 20, 2018 by gonecrackers

[Ilovepie]

1 hour ago, gonecrackers said:

Had the same thought; she wasn't reading the room too well with that statement.

Or maybe it was one of those times where you get really annoyed and say something even more shocking because you're pissed. I would have been if I had been having that conversation with those ladies! I can't believe how judgemental they were being about working moms! "I don't want someone else raising my child." On behalf of all working moms, FU Bobby's sister! Just because you work (by choice or necessity) does not mean you don't love your child or raise them! Oh hey, I have an idea - maybe Grammy Dodd will watch the Bobster and Danielle's baby when the time comes - take a page out of the Hehner/Otis playbook......

[Captain Asshat]

21 hours ago, Sterling said:

I wonder about that.  Why does he own these tutoring centers in Houston, rather than Dallas, where he lives?  I'm sure they are franchises, and he possibly thought he could run them remotely, but why not just purchase franchises in Dallas?  It's possible there were no locations available, but in that case, why wouldn't he have just moved to Houston prior to even coming on the show?  

It doesn't make sense to me.  His close family is in Houston, his businesses are in Houston, and there are plenty of cute, single women for him in Houston.  Why go through all that, in Dallas, where you don't want to be anyway?

I'm actually from Dallas, born and raised, but I moved to Houston several decades ago, after college (job).  Houston is better, hands down.  I still have family in Dallas, so I still go there a lot, but Houston beats it by a mile.  So I get why he wants to go.

My money is on:  Tristan picks a fight with Mia so he can move to Houston alone, and he can cite their fights as the reason she doesn't go with him.

He owns one in the Dallas area, if Allen, TX is considered the Dallas area. I really don't know DFW well enough to know all the suburban cities that are considered part of Dallas area. He also owns two in the Houston area. I did a little Googling and found they're in Pearland and Katy, neither of which this lifelong Houstonian considers "in Houston." I'm going to guess he owned the one in Allen first, and then wanted to expand. He likely figured Katy and Pearland would be fine, since he has relatives in the area, and thought he would travel here often. I'm also going to guess he was already planning to move to Houston when the show called and let him know he was selected. The big question is, did he move here after the show wrapped? I really don't know. 

Edited September 20, 2018 by Captain Asshat

[gonecrackers]

1 hour ago, Ilovepie said:

Or maybe it was one of those times where you get really annoyed and say something even more shocking because you're pissed. I would have been if I had been having that conversation with those ladies! I can't believe how judgemental they were being about working moms! "I don't want someone else raising my child." On behalf of all working moms, FU Bobby's sister! Just because you work (by choice or necessity) does not mean you don't love your child or raise them! Oh hey, I have an idea - maybe Grammy Dodd will watch the Bobster and Danielle's baby when the time comes - take a page out of the Hehner/Otis playbook......

For all we know Danielle might have asked how they arrived at their decisions but it was edited out. It doesn't mean they won't be supportive whatever the decision is, & I didn't read anything about working moms not loving their kids into their explanations.

Maybe there was concern about whether the child will be safe, which I think in this world is a normal concern, & maybe if there are kids someday they will work something out with his family.

If I were to take the conversation seriously, I would be concerned for Bobby's sister bringing the kids around since it could create some suicide ideation for Danielle, but that's doubtful so I'm not worried about it.

[Ilovepie]

19 minutes ago, gonecrackers said:

I didn't read anything about working moms not loving their kids into their explanations.

I think saying that you don't want someone else raising your child is definitely a subtle slam against working moms. The Dodds might be supportive when the time comes, but I definitely think they are pro-stay at home. I don't think Danielle is actually suicidal, it's obviously an exaggeration of her feeling about being around other people's kids, meaning, she doesn't enjoy it. That is not going to endear her to them for sure, but it might have just been a passive aggressive comment after being grilled about staying home when she and Bobby have kids, which she does not want to do.

[DrewPaul2010]

17 hours ago, Ilovepie said:

This season has become painful to watch. Were these seriously the best women they saw in Dallas? Nightmares, all three. I think they finally found three guys ready for marriage and they saddled them with a criminal, a neurotic, and an ice queen. Great job “experts”!

It is the same thing every single week: Amber is insecure and Dave is uptight, Bobby is great and Danielle is closed off, Tristan and Mia lay under a blanket. What a snooze. I think at this point I would prefer a show just focusing on the pets....

That's funny and not too far off the mark! But I have to say this week made me think Dave and Amber might just make it to the finish line...but a happy marriage is doubtful. I can't keep my eyes off how Danielle does her eyebrows I was hoping she'd get a clue from Bobby's sisters. Her letter to Bobby looked very touching. I'm sure they'll stay hitched. The scene with Tristan and Mia in bed looked like they were standing with their head on a pillow attached to the wall. Looks like more train wreckage next week. I almost had hope for them too. 

13 hours ago, Waterlilly said:

They all seem insecure. 

Would really secure confident people let someone else marry them? Most of the people on the show admit they already had problems in relationships.

[DrewPaul2010]

On 9/19/2018 at 1:02 AM, ezzy4 said:

Wait...wha...seriously they can't even assemble a simple dresser together???  No one is really that pathetic, right?  This CANNOT be for real.

If it is...

Amber and Dave CANNOT handle the most simple daily life tasks.

I cannot imagine living like them.

I find cussing and yelling seems to help...

[gonecrackers]

1 hour ago, Ilovepie said:

I think saying that you don't want someone else raising your child is definitely a subtle slam against working moms. The Dodds might be supportive when the time comes, but I definitely think they are pro-stay at home. I don't think Danielle is actually suicidal, it's obviously an exaggeration of her feeling about being around other people's kids, meaning, she doesn't enjoy it. That is not going to endear her to them for sure, but it might have just been a passive aggressive comment after being grilled about staying home when she and Bobby have kids, which she does not want to do.

I'm sorry you've been taking my comments so seriously; I have been snarking to a degree here. I honestly don't feel Danielle is 'suicidal' LOL; she's enjoying Bobby's lunches & doggy service too much - SNARK ALERT!

I'm still not seeing the 'slam' in their discussion; I only heard an explanation, but the subject is a sensitive one so no doubt people will see it differently.

To each their own, Danielle & Bobby as well.

[humbleopinion]

 To cap the IKEA dresser fail Dave takes the high road and suggests shots to toast themselves...

Dave and Amber using adult beverages to help them soften the lens aimed at their marriage....works for them...

[Ilovepie]

1 hour ago, gonecrackers said:

I'm sorry you've been taking my comments so seriously; I have been snarking to a degree here. I honestly don't feel Danielle is 'suicidal' LOL; she's enjoying Bobby's lunches & doggy service too much - SNARK ALERT!

I'm still not seeing the 'slam' in their discussion; I only heard an explanation, but the subject is a sensitive one so no doubt people will see it differently.

To each their own, Danielle & Bobby as well.

Ha! I guess some of your reply came across serious, wasn’t sure of the tone on the rest. No need to apologize- I joined this forum bc I love all the comments and seeing how everyone else feels about what we are watching. Of course, personal experience colors how each individual sees each participant and interprets their words and actions. This particular topic pushes my buttons. I live in a very conservative town and have many SAHM friends. Like Danielle I never had any desire to stay home and I love my job and co-workers. I got judged hard bc I chose to go to back to work after a 3 month maternity leave. I don’t judge anyone for their choice, whether to work or stay home, but I do judge self righteous women who feel only their choice is correct, which is the sense I got from Mama Dodd and her clone daughter. I agree it’s only Bobby and Danielle’s choice - it’s really not any of the Dodd ladies business. Keep the snark coming - this show absolutely deserves it!

[endure]

I sure see an issue with Danielle not being able to express herself or commit her love to Bobby who obviously adores her and is so expressive.  Even when she was being advised she is saying "I can do that" without really even stopping to think about it.  Then when she did write him a letter before leaving it didn't show her reading it to him like she said she could/would unless that is still to come.  And from what she said it was all about how much she appreciates what he does for her and how he is so perfect for her!  I think she is pretty cold and inflexible and probably why she prefers dogs to people or kids.  I wonder if it is entirely Bobby who is making this relationship appear so awesome.  My experience in any personal relationships whether it be love or friendships if it isn't reciprocal it isn't going to work in the long run.  I hope she can overcome her fears and begin to show and express her feelings.  

I may have missed some episodes but have er parents been on any episodes?

[Yeah No]

9 hours ago, Ilovepie said:

I think it's a chicken or the egg situation - which came first? I think her insecurity turned him off and she sensed it, so it's making her more insecure, which just annoys him further. It's a vicious circle at this point and they are just a terrible match because they bring out the worst in each other. Dave seems happy, funny and relaxed when he is with literally anybody else besides Amber. She on the other hand, seems neurotic with everyone she interacts with. I think there is a reason she has only dated "Dallas Douches" - any sane, reasonable, well adjusted man would not be willing to put up with her brand of crazy for long.

I think Dave's super-detached, cerebral demeanor, combined with his inability to express feelings or tolerate a woman's emotions is what Amber sensed and took as rejection, which made her feel insecure in the relationship.  His walls were always up and she knew she wasn't getting in.  So in this case I think her instinct might have been rooted in some fact.  I don't think Dave would have let a little insecurity keep him from liking a woman.  If he really liked her he would find a way to be more encouraging.  He seems happy, funny and relaxed with anyone else because he's not in a long-term, committed relationship with them.  He is on edge with Amber because he's basically a commitment-phobe and being married is stressing him to the max.  He's just hiding it well, but his reaction to any kind of emotionality which he perceives as a demand on him is to push her away emotionally by acting detached and critical.  And she is rightly in my opinion taking that as a rejection.  Frankly I am sick and tired of the women taking all the criticism in these relationships because they dare to have emotions and need someone that can tolerate emotions and provide reassurance that expressing them and some fallible vulnerability is OK.  Amber may be single because she doesn't think she's worth a better guy, but he's single because he can't handle being emotionally intimate.  When he criticized her for not ever fully trusting anyone she had a relationship with, I wanted to clock him because he is so smug and superior.  Sure, he trusts the women because he's the one in control in the relationship and knows he has the power over them.  He chooses nice women that want the right things, but then doesn't ever give himself fully emotionally.  He keeps one foot outside the relationship at all times, criticizing it.  Then he finds a reason to end it.  I would bet my entire bank account that Dave has been the dumper in most if not all of his relationships.

[Ilovepie]

@Yeah No I agree with a lot of what you are saying about Dave, but I also think that you are making a lot of assumptions about him, his motivations and prior relationships. I don’t think Amber is getting criticized for having emotions, it is the absurd amount of fretting she is doing by making mountains out of molehills. These are not assumptions- it’s being caught on camera every single episode. Even Dr. Jessica (ugh) called her out on it. For instance, this episode when she freaked because he was talking to her brunette friend. What exactly would have been the correct response for him in that situation? Should he avert his eyes when speaking to her friends who happen to be brunette? Or just avoid them altogether? If he had done that, I fear she would then think he was embarrassed to be seen with her and then she would be upset by that. Amber is a hot mess. Dave knows it, and despite his efforts to get through this, it shows. These two just need to split.

[Yeah No]

39 minutes ago, Ilovepie said:

@Yeah No I agree with a lot of what you are saying about Dave, but I also think that you are making a lot of assumptions about him, his motivations and prior relationships. I don’t think Amber is getting criticized for having emotions, it is the absurd amount of fretting she is doing by making mountains out of molehills. These are not assumptions- it’s being caught on camera every single episode. Even Dr. Jessica (ugh) called her out on it. For instance, this episode when she freaked because he was talking to her brunette friend. What exactly would have been the correct response for him in that situation? Should he avert his eyes when speaking to her friends who happen to be brunette? Or just avoid them altogether? If he had done that, I fear she would then think he was embarrassed to be seen with her and then she would be upset by that. Amber is a hot mess. Dave knows it, and despite his efforts to get through this, it shows. These two just need to split.

Maybe I am making some assumptions, but I feel like I know Dave and what he's all about.  I dated a guy similar to Dave once and I found out after getting dumped that my insecurities were well founded.  With him I was reduced to being suspicious and paranoid about every woman he looked at, and I'm really not like that in general.  My gut was accurately sensing that I couldn't trust him and that he wasn't into me.  The only difference is that I didn't broadcast my insecurity to him on a loudspeaker the way Amber is.  I know better than to make things worse by looking like "that girl".  Though I might casually ask why there was women's underwear sitting in his laundry basket, you know, stuff like that (he told me it was his sister's from when she visited, yeah right).  The one time I told him I had the feeling he was seeing someone else he told me it was all in my head.  It was NOT.  So I can totally see how someone like Dave can bring out things in a woman that aren't normal for her to feel.  Everyone is a little insecure but a guy who acted like him would make anyone suddenly a LOT more insecure.  I'm not saying that I think Dave is cheating on Amber or would cheat, just that he isn't into her, which I think we already know.

Also, we don't know what Dave may have told Amber about his dating history.  He may have told her that in the past he dated a few women at the gym, so she is primed to wonder how prone to doing that he is.  I am suspicious because somehow the audience hasn't been told ANYTHING about Dave's romantic history.  I find that this show wants to edit people to look either better or worse than they are to suit its own purposes.  I agree with the poster in the other thread that said that Amber is getting the bad edit in that relationship.  Whatever it is about Dave's past probably would make him look worse, so the show isn't telling us about it and Dave would certainly hide it, whatever it is.  Meanwhile the show made sure we knew that Amber dated "Dallas douches", and Amber doesn't hide stuff like that.  So of course the audience thinks he's OK and she's not.  But where I come from I trust Amber much more than I'd ever trust Dave.

Edited September 21, 2018 by Yeah No

[Gem 10]

On 9/20/2018 at 8:18 AM, qtpye said:

I think Amber's insecurity with Dave is justified in that he is not into her and that can not feel good. The show is trying to gaslight her into thinking otherwise but she is not a fool. Dave will only stay married to her if there is some financial incentive involved, otherwise, I think he was done after the honeymoon.

Everyone seems so befuddled about how fast Bobby has fallen for her, he is really head over heels. When I say everyone, I mean the so-called "experts", his mama, and Danielle.

As for women marrying assholes, there has been some proof that despite what they say, some women actually find a guy who is a little cold and distant "manly" and I guy who waits on them hand and foot "weak". This is obviously a stupid way to think but I have seen it again and again in real life (not with me but with people I know).

On the other hand, I have seen guys reject very nice girls and run after bitches because they "enjoy the chase and drama" even though they say otherwise. I know a man who loves that his girlfriend was so possessive that she would actually send threatening emails to women that worked with him. He actually was called into HR and almost lost his job. He would complain about it but you could see that he loved the drama.

 

This show is just luck, only these people didn’t get a taste of each other since they married at first sight.  The chances of loving one another is slim.  Even when you know someone a few years, living with them is taking a chance.  You don’t know what you’re getting until you live with them.  Madly in love helps when you already know the person when you get married.  I blame the experts.  All you had to do was interview them.  Ones a giver, the other one selfish, one a crook, the other one nieve, ones whining over socks and her hair, the other I don’t even know what.  We all on this board could have picked better.  The lousiest season ever !   I don’t think anyone of them is that thrilled with their partners.  And, Jamie and those experts suck.  Oh, and the best yet.  You have two hiding under blankets.  What the hell is that?  LMAO.  Can’t make this shit up.

Edited September 21, 2018 by Gem 10

[Maximadc]

On 9/20/2018 at 12:19 AM, Yeah No said:

Yeah, and I think that's because Dave is actually EXTRA demanding.  Amber is bound to feel like she is wanting with a guy like him.  He sends out all sorts of signals that she isn't good enough for him so I think it's no wonder that she feels insecure with him and like he is too much work.  Because he is.   Meanwhile, what is HE doing EXTRA for her?  Not much that I can see, plus he has high expectations.  All he does is sit in his little detached, unemotional ivory tower passing judgment on her every move.   I think this is Dave's pattern with women and why he's still single at age 37.  Then when Amber feels insecure, it's all HER fault?  I don't think so.  I don't think a woman should feel like a man is too much work to please.  If he showed her he accepted her whether or not she's perfect she'd feel free to do all sorts of wonderful EXTRAS for him.  Otherwise, why bother?

What does Amber do Extra for Dave?

What does Daniel do extra for Bobby?

What does Mia do extra for Tristian?

Three women -three ‘me me me’ attitudes 

[Gem 10]

On 9/18/2018 at 9:48 PM, JAndy said:

It can be. My daughter’s grandparents watch her while I work and I love that she’s super close with them. I’m a teacher so I do have time off in the summer and holidays.

Anyway, my mother in law was a SAHM and never had the conversation with me. I would have felt awful if she did. She did ask to watch her though, when we were looking at daycares, so maybe she felt some sort of way towards it but never made me feel bad. I don’t know if that makes sense. 

We grandparents watch the grandchildren because we love them, don’t want you to spend money for day care, and are appreciative that you are helping their son out financially.  As long as they are willing, it makes sense.  They sound like great grandparents and in- laws.

[LennieBriscoe]

Danielle wasn't the least bit serious about suicide re: other people's kids!

What she WAS,  was letting her in-laws know that they were getting on her last nerve, and also that SAHM Sister Dodd was risking not getting an invite,  as mi famiglia says, to the Ricky Bobby abode. 

Dave and Amber: Maybe he's subconsciously envious of her teeth! ?

Tristan probably hoped his "Let's move" gambit would be the end of Mia,  but nooooo; she's up for the "adventure"!

[LisaWl7TR]

Well, I was disappointed with the gym episode. I was hoping they would run into the gym guy that Amber dated. 

[humbleopinion]

I, too wondered if "gym guy" was lurking around the fringes of the camera shot...I looked hard for a Dallas Douche, as Amber described her ex....

[Gem 10]

These couples are only married a short while as strangers.  Why doesn’t everyone just let them be and figure out their mistakes themselves.  There’s too much interference from the “experts”, parents and friends telling them what to do, how to feel, etc.  Too much confusion and thinking going on.  But then, there would probably be no show, as these things are what their marriages are all about.  Too much analyzing.  I don’t even know what Dr. Blondie and Pepper are saying, and Bobby’s Mother also has too much to say.

[Waterlilly]

I think Bobby’s mother will always have too much to say, no doubt Danielle can handle it though. I think Danielle is direct, she will express her feelings to Bobby when she is ready, not when the show tries to force her. 

I got the feeling in the beginning that gym guy was not a “friend” of Dave’s but that he knew who he was. If he has any self confidence he can handle that situation.  Maybe he is the insecure one when it comes to relationships and he projects it on Amber. 

The other couple I just SMH.  

[Gem 10]

On 9/20/2018 at 1:38 AM, Ilovepie said:

This season has become painful to watch. Were these seriously the best women they saw in Dallas? Nightmares, all three. I think they finally found three guys ready for marriage and they saddled them with a criminal, a neurotic, and an ice queen. Great job “experts”!

It is the same thing every single week: Amber is insecure and Dave is uptight, Bobby is great and Danielle is closed off, Tristan and Mia lay under a blanket. What a snooze. I think at this point I would prefer a show just focusing on the pets....

OMG .. you read my mind.  I didn’t even watch the whole show this week as it is painful to watch.  I’m catching up on the blog.  I just watched Bobby’s Mother and sister having lunch. They practically told Danielle that a SAHM is the only way to raise decent kids.  The Mother took credit that her kids are so great because she stood home.  I don’t like her and the sister already.   I don’t see anything wrong with Dave.  He makes sense.   Is there some affiliction that Mia and Tristen have that they can’t stand up straight?  Why are they always wrapped up in blankets and lying on a bed or sofa?   What a wreck this show is.

[gonecrackers]

Even if the conversations are production driven (definitely), it's still part of married life to have to deal with in-laws & their opinions. In the grand scheme of things, Bobby's family has been quite supportive to the point I think whatever decision they make reg. kids will be supported as well. Even if not, Danielle seems steely enough to handle it.

Now if it were Amber having any disapproval from her in-laws it would be different, but we never see them. The show will work with the people willing to be manipulated involved.

Edited September 22, 2018 by gonecrackers

[Ilovepie]

1 hour ago, Gem 10 said:

I don’t see anything wrong with Dave.

Me either! Yes, he is a little harsh, but that’s it. I am a lot like Dave personality-wise, so what he says doesn’t bother me, or at least I wouldn’t dissolve into a puddle of insecurity because of it. He comes across as reserved and somewhat guarded, but I don’t think he’s cold. He’s very direct and analytical; I think treating him the same would work better with him. He seems open to criticism and admits when he is wrong. Amber, on the other hand, becomes pouty or passive aggressive and says ridiculous things like “this is why I didn’t want to be married because I didn’t want to do anything extra for my husband “. She is emotionally stunted and behaves like a little girl. 

A lot of people think Amber senses he doesn’t like her and it’s making her more insecure. My question is, why? Why do we keep wondering if Dave likes Amber, but not whether Amber actually likes Dave? Is it  because she is just so desperate to have a kid that it doesn’t even matter whether she likes him (which is horribly sad)? On some level, if you’re Amber, wouldn’t you just be like, screw it, I don’t care what you think, especially if this is ending in divorce in a couple weeks.....

[Crazy Bird Lady]

56 minutes ago, Ilovepie said:

Me either! Yes, he is a little harsh, but that’s it. I am a lot like Dave personality-wise, so what he says doesn’t bother me. He comes across as reserved and somewhat guarded, but I don’t think he’s cold. He’s very direct and analytical; I think treating him the same would work better with him. He seems open to criticism and admits when he is wrong. 

A whole lot of women agree with you, and I'm sure Dave will have women all over him, wanting to be the next Mrs. Dave, the moment they file for divorce (and probably sooner).

Edited September 22, 2018 by Crazy Bird Lady

[booboopbedoo]

On 9/20/2018 at 7:11 AM, Yeah No said:

Re: Amber - I think if she were matched with a guy that liked her she would look way more confident and secure.

I dont think so. She is just so damn insecure that no one or nothing will make her happy. She freaks out at the stupidest thing

[Mercolleen]

The back of Amber's head is fascinating. I looked like she had a long piece of masking taped attached to her scalp as an extension.

[Gem 10]

6 hours ago, Crazy Bird Lady said:

A whole lot of women agree with you, and I'm sure Dave will have women all over him, wanting to be the next Mrs. Dave, the moment they file for divorce (and probably sooner).

 

IMO, Dave is a confident and smart guy.  He is no “wuss” that a woman can take advantage of.  No woman wants a “ yes man” that she can’t spar with.  Amber is too immature like a baby and can’t handle him.  He needs a confident woman who can handle him.  Plus, a lot of men his age aren’t married yet.  He is aware of the divorce rate.  He needs a smart woman who isn’t against doing his laundry also.  I actually don’t get Amber and her thinking, and I’m tired of her talking about her hair.  Who gives a shit.  Is this all this girl thinks about is her hair and her workouts at the gym?

Edited September 22, 2018 by Gem 10

[Crazy Bird Lady]

1 hour ago, Gem 10 said:

IMO, Dave is a confident and smart guy.  He is no “wuss” that a woman can take advantage of.  No woman wants a “ yes man” that she can’t spar with.  Amber is too immature like a baby and can’t handle him.  He needs a confident woman who can handle him.  Plus, a lot of men his age aren’t married yet.  He is aware of the divorce rate.  He needs a smart woman who isn’t against doing his laundry also.  I actually don’t get Amber and her thinking, and I’m tired of her talking about her hair.  Who gives a shit.  Is this all this girl thinks about is her hair and her workouts at the gym?

 

As I said, a lot of women agree that they "don't see anything wrong with Dave". He holds all the cards right now, and he knows it.  He knows he's on TV, and he knows he's pretty easy on the eyes. A lot of women besides Amber are watching him. He probably expects that plenty of unmarried women will try to meet him, hoping for a chance to date him. 

Dave is not "stuck" with Amber. As you say, he's not too old to be getting married. He may very well meet exactly the "right" woman for him, one who will be confident and can 'handle him'.  I'm not at all worried about Dave's future.

 

I'm much more concerned about Amber's. It would be nice if they both ended up having things work out better in the future. I suppose that means I give a shit.

Edited September 23, 2018 by Crazy Bird Lady

[humbleopinion]

What I like about Dave is he is wistful and a bit envious of Bobby's feelings of thunderstruck infatuation for Danielle.

While he is happy for The Bobster, he wishes he felt  the same giddy head rush about Amber instead waiting for the divorce bus to exit the marriage.....

The two bros will be reunited on the Oct 2nd Unfiltered to hash over the field games where Dave and Amber send Bobby and Danielle flying in tug of war as seen on the tease.

[Gem 10]

22 minutes ago, Crazy Bird Lady said:

As I said, a lot of women agree that they "don't see anything wrong with Dave". He holds all the cards right now, and he knows it.  He knows he's on TV, and he knows he's pretty easy on the eyes. A lot of women besides Amber are watching him. He probably expects that plenty of unmarried women will try to meet him, hoping for a chance to date him. 

Dave is not "stuck" with Amber. As you say, he's not too old to be getting married. He may very well meet exactly the "right" woman for him, one who will be confident and can 'handle him'.  I'm not at all worried about Dave's future.

 

I'm much more concerned about Amber's. It would be nice if they both ended up having things work out better in the future. I suppose that means I give a shit.

I “ give a shit “ for each of their happiness.  I just don’t give a shit about her over-bleached dry blonde hair that she’s constantly talking about, LOL.

[ChristmasJones]

No woman deserves a man with hips bigger than hers. Not even a stalker.

 

---- Ok,  I confess I stole this line from Lipstick Alley but it was too good not to post here - credit to "Nana Peazant" if you read here.

[bichonblitz]

On 9/21/2018 at 3:57 PM, Gem 10 said:

Oh, and the best yet.  You have two hiding under blankets.  What the hell is that?  LMAO.  Can’t make this shit up.

That is the most depressing bedroom! A small bed (for a big guy), no headboard, a tiny little night stand off to the corner and yes, a ton of blankets. Nothing on the walls, either.  Does Tristan really even live in that place? 

My theory on Tristan is that he really can't stand Mia and is trying to be nice for the camera. His comment after the hiding under the blanket scene was telling. Can we go to sleep now? As if he is so over having to talk to her. They sure weren't going to have any sex that night!

[Crazy Bird Lady]

16 hours ago, Gem 10 said:

I “ give a shit “ for each of their happiness.  I just don’t give a shit about her over-bleached dry blonde hair that she’s constantly talking about, LOL.

I guess I misunderstood. I don't give a shit about what any of them do with their hair or their eyebrows (or any of the other completely superficial things). Prioritizing superficial stuff annoys me, too. Marriage is not about superficial things. As long as there's sexual attraction, the rest of that is pretty much irrelevant.

I do care about Amber's apparent preoccupation with her appearance, smell, etc. because she seems to think she has to do it for Dave. She doesn't get that it doesn't matter to Dave, he's already written her off anyway.  When Amber told Dave she trusted him, that he was the only man she'd ever trusted, I believed her. And I wanted to yell at her through the TV right then: "NOoooo!! Don't give control of your ability to trust to Dave! He already has one foot out the door!"

Edited September 23, 2018 by Crazy Bird Lady

[Ilovepie]

2 hours ago, bichonblitz said:

That is the most depressing bedroom!

Indeed! I told my husband it looked like a flop house!

[Marsh]

I don't see the fascination with Dave and why everyone is changing their minds about him.

 

Pros (I'm guessing):

-tall

-in shape

-financially stable

 

Cons:

-boring

-cold

-can't even build furniture.

-doesn't have a good sense of humor

-no emotions

 

Yep.  I'm not on Team Amber anymore either btw.  Just think Dave's being placed too high on a pedestal.  Can I get an Amen.

[Yeah No]

2 hours ago, Marsh said:

I don't see the fascination with Dave and why everyone is changing their minds about him.

 

Pros (I'm guessing):

-tall

-in shape

-financially stable

 

Cons:

-boring

-cold

-can't even build furniture.

-doesn't have a good sense of humor

-no emotions

 

Yep.  I'm not on Team Amber anymore either btw.  Just think Dave's being placed too high on a pedestal.  Can I get an Amen.

 

AMEN!!

I'm no fan of Dave's.  His act is smooth and confident, but I see deeper than that.  He acts effete and above it all, and personally I don't find him that attractive.  If anyone deserves the label "Dallas douche", it's him!

My 62 year old husband thinks Dave relates to Amber like she was another guy, not like a woman.  He seems to be able to relate to his bros just fine, hence the wall of male buddies in his hallway plus the way he relates to Bobby.  He treats Bobby with more warmth than Amber!

This also from my husband: 

Quote

Dave is the kind of guy that lives in his own little logical world and doesn't take into account a woman's feelings when he gives his opinion.  He just thinks he's being "objective", but I knew not to say the kinds of things he says to Amber when I was 15!!

Edited September 23, 2018 by Yeah No

[Crazy Bird Lady]

8 hours ago, Marsh said:

I don't see the fascination with Dave and why everyone is changing their minds about him.

Yep.  I'm not on Team Amber anymore either btw.  Just think Dave's being placed too high on a pedestal.  Can I get an Amen.

 

Amen!

I feel bad for Amber, but I'm really not a "fan." She seems neurotic to me and obviously needs professional help. Amber should never have been on the show.

 

Back to Dave:

...Maybe this explains why Dave doesn't seem to have a conscience, at least when it comes to Amber:

5 hours ago, Yeah No said:

AMEN!!

I'm no fan of Dave's.  His act is smooth and confident, but I see deeper than that.  He acts effete and above it all, and personally I don't find him that attractive.  If anyone deserves the label "Dallas douche", it's him!

My 62 year old husband thinks Dave relates to Amber like she was another guy, not like a woman.  He seems to be able to relate to his bros just fine, hence the wall of male buddies in his hallway plus the way he relates to Bobby.  He treats Bobby with more warmth than Amber!

This also from my husband: 

5 hours ago, Yeah No said:

Dave is the kind of guy that lives in his own little logical world and doesn't take into account a woman's feelings when he gives his opinion.  He just thinks he's being "objective", but I knew not to say the kinds of things he says to Amber when I was 15!!

 

Edited September 23, 2018 by Crazy Bird Lady