Amber: A Rill Woman Goes to Gel

[CofCinci]

She had the Malocchio (Evil Eye) jewelry "blessed". I'm Italian-American and it's something my late grandmother (Italian) and my aunties would have done after their tea leaves were read.  Amber thinks jealously and mean thoughts are the reason she fails. This jewelry will protect her. 

How about accepting responsibility for your life instead of blaming others and/or trying to be a good person? 

[MissMel]

I thought the Evil Eye was not meant to be jewelry.  Mine is from Turkey, it was 'blessed' of sorts, and hangs over the door.  I don't know about blessing pinky rings?  I have a hard time thinking what part of that would be life changing, though, as Amber said.  Maybe the Taurus part?  I'm just a lowly Aquarian.

[Uncle JUICE]

14 hours ago, poopchute said:

That hand is truly horrifying.  The fat sausage fingers.  The huge gaudy rings.  The creepy long nails.  It looks like a prop from a horror movie.

So THAT"s why people hire hand models! 

[ghoulina]

29 minutes ago, Uncle JUICE said:

So THAT"s why people hire hand models! 

She ain't no George Costanza. 

[dorcastrilling]

17 hours ago, GreatKazu said:

As a Catholic, I have had priests bless jewelry such as a crucifix or a saint's medal. I have no clue what Amber is referring to. Perhaps Matt has a belief in satanism?

My Rosary was blessed by Pope Paul years and years ago.

[GreatKazu]

2 minutes ago, dorcastrilling said:

My Rosary was blessed by Pope Paul years and years ago.

My niece spent time in Italy and brought me back a Virgin Mary pendant that was blessed by Pope John Paul II during one of his public blessings. I cherish it.

[Tatum]

21 hours ago, CofCinci said:

 Amber thinks jealously and mean thoughts are the reason she fails.

Ha, I didn't know we were so powerful!

Hey, let's put our collective mean thoughts together and see if we can't get Jenelle jail time next time she commits a crime. We are wasting our energy on small stuff like Amber's boutique sales.

[GreatKazu]

11 minutes ago, Tatum said:

Ha, I didn't know we were so powerful!

Hey, let's put our collective mean thoughts together and see if we can't get Jenelle jail time next time she commits a crime. We are wasting our energy on small stuff like Amber's boutique sales.

Haha yes!

If our venom was that powerful, Matt should be dead by now. 

[ginger90]

Start shopping people!

https://mobile.twitter.com/AmberLPortwood/status/818968180823560192?p=v

[CofCinci]

Probably free shipping because it's slow as molasses. I haven't seen anyone post pictures of their purchase. Surely at least one fan has made a purchase and would want to share it with Amber. 

I'm half-tempted to buy something. 

Edited January 12, 2017 by CofCinci

[poopchute]

I have noticed many people replying to her tweets about their husbands being mad.  This is so strange to me.  Is this a thing? Do these women have husbands that demand to approve their every purchase?   I am trying to imagine a scenario where my husband gives a shit about the clothes I buy and I can't picture it.  

[DangerousMinds]

8 minutes ago, poopchute said:

I have noticed many people replying to her tweets about their husbands being mad.  This is so strange to me.  Is this a thing? Do these women have husbands that demand to approve their every purchase?   I am trying to imagine a scenario where my husband gives a shit about the clothes I buy and I can't picture it.  

If true that is horrifying. Then again, I've always been the type to pay for my own clothing.

Edited January 12, 2017 by DangerousMinds

[leighroda]

I'm gonna laugh if they are rabid fans, and even they hate the clothes... but they need attention so they are saying it's their "husbands" who won't let them buy stuff so they can still seem to be supportive... or they do love it but are fishing for discounts because they are hard working single moms (based on actual comments I've seen, I'm not stereotyping)

[Uncle JUICE]

21 minutes ago, poopchute said:

I have noticed many people replying to her tweets about their husbands being mad.  This is so strange to me.  Is this a thing? Do these women have husbands that demand to approve their every purchase?   I am trying to imagine a scenario where my husband gives a shit about the clothes I buy and I can't picture it.  

In fairness,  picture yourself dressing like amber. I don't approve my wife's purchases,  but the minute that second kim-muumuu arrived,  I'd certainly start a discussion. 

[ghoulina]

LOL, I haven't seen the comments, but I wonder if they just meant they spent too much? I mean, if my husband needs new clothes, he gets some. Same for me. But if he found a new website of some d-list reality star he really loved (wouldn't happen) and dropped hundreds just because, I'd be pissed. 

[CofCinci]

1 hour ago, poopchute said:

I have noticed many people replying to her tweets about their husbands being mad.  This is so strange to me.  Is this a thing? Do these women have husbands that demand to approve their every purchase?   I am trying to imagine a scenario where my husband gives a shit about the clothes I buy and I can't picture it.  

They're paid tweets from women in countries where you have to ask your husband's persmission to buy shit clothes. 

[leighroda]

I'm really tempted to comment "I would go order clothes and take pics... but I don't want to"

[SPLAIN]

3 hours ago, poopchute said:

I have noticed many people replying to her tweets about their husbands being mad.  This is so strange to me.  Is this a thing? Do these women have husbands that demand to approve their every purchase?   I am trying to imagine a scenario where my husband gives a shit about the clothes I buy and I can't picture it.  

Maybe the husbands are mad at their wives for purchasing crap clothing and paying name-brand prices.  Maybe they are mad at their wives for spending money on any Teen Mom crap.  I'd be pissed if my spouse spent good money on a TM book even if it was available in the bargain bin.

Edited January 12, 2017 by SPLAIN
for not "are"

[FakeAccount]

I'm guessing these women are either SAHMs who's husbands give them a weekly allowance, or just the type of families who have joint bank accounts and have to ask for permission all the time cuz the husbands make the family budget. 

But whatever the case might be, I still don't understand what's the point of including it in your tweet. 

[Uncle JUICE]

7 minutes ago, SPLAIN said:

Maybe the husbands are mad at their wives for purchasing crap clothing and paying name-brand prices.  Maybe they are mad at their wives for spending money on any Teen Mom crap.  I'd be pissed if my spouse spent good money on a TM book even if it was available in the bargain bin.

Even ironically? (scrambles to find receipt for wife's Valentine's day gift of Farrah's erotic trilogy)

[SPLAIN]

12 minutes ago, FakeAccount said:

I'm guessing these women are either SAHMs who's husbands give them a weekly allowance, or just the type of families who have joint bank accounts and have to ask for permission all the time cuz the husbands make the family budget. 

But whatever the case might be, I still don't understand what's the point of including it in your tweet. 

Some of those tweets may come from fake twitter accounts. They are just pushing the idea how great the clothes are and they would love to buy them. Free advertising for Amber. The rest are likely real people who are living on a limited budget who rely on their husband's income to make luxury purchases. They just have to mention their desire to want to buy, but can't without permission. Who knows. That may be the fake accounts as well or even Amber and Matt behind that shit.

Edited January 12, 2017 by SPLAIN

[ginger90]

On the site, Amber is said to be the owner. There is no mention of Matt's name. Perhaps a men's clothing business is coming.

[mamadrama]

1 hour ago, ginger90 said:

On the site, Amber is said to be the owner. There is no mention of Matt's name. Perhaps a men's clothing business is coming.

I keep thinking of products Matt could come up with, or be the spokesperson for. 

- Who's Your Daddy: a board game in the style of monopoly. As you move around the board, you collect things like child support payments, alimony, etc. 

- spokesperson for 23 & Me: Now it's easier than ever to make sure all 17 of the alleged children are really YOURS!

- Daddy-O Thick as Ex Wives Hair Grease: for those going for the uppa class pedophile look 

- Detox in a Bottle: a shake guaranteed to get you off your drug of choice in less than 24 hours. No withdrawals, no cravings, no relapses- no specific memory of the drug you'd even been on! Go from addict to inspiration in less than a day for the low cost of $99.99!

- Amber's Love: a once-a-day essential oil guaranteed to make you feel blessed. 

- Classy Tattoos with your Homegirl's Twitter Handle: Temporary, of course. 

[Snarky McSnarky]

10 hours ago, ginger90 said:

Start shopping people!

https://mobile.twitter.com/AmberLPortwood/status/818968180823560192?p=v

Her Tweet should say "We now offer free shipping because nobody is buying our overpriced shit.  Please buy something!"

[GreatKazu]

1 hour ago, mamadrama said:

I keep thinking of products Matt could come up with, or be the spokesperson for. 

- Who's Your Daddy: a board game in the style of monopoly. As you move around the board, you collect things like child support payments, alimony, etc. 

 

Go to jail. Go directly to jail. Do not pass Go. Do not collect TM money.

mamadrama - This has me in stitches. I keep reading your post and I keep busting out laughing. Thanks!

Quote

Her Tweet should say "We now offer free shipping because nobody is buying our overpriced shit.  Please buy something!"

Have they changed their ridiculous refund policy?

Edited January 12, 2017 by GreatKazu

[Snarky McSnarky]

12 minutes ago, GreatKazu said:

Have they changed their ridiculous refund policy?

Nope.  They don't want that crap coming back.

[Elizabeth9]

1 hour ago, mamadrama said:

I keep thinking of products Matt could come up with, or be the spokesperson for. 

- Who's Your Daddy: a board game in the style of monopoly. As you move around the board, you collect things like child support payments, alimony, etc. 

- spokesperson for 23 & Me: Now it's easier than ever to make sure all 17 of the alleged children are really YOURS!

- Daddy-O Thick as Ex Wives Hair Grease: for those going for the uppa class pedophile look 

- Detox in a Bottle: a shake guaranteed to get you off your drug of choice in less than 24 hours. No withdrawals, no cravings, no relapses- no specific memory of the drug you'd even been on! Go from addict to inspiration in less than a day for the low cost of $99.99!

- Amber's Love: a once-a-day essential oil guaranteed to make you feel blessed. 

- Classy Tattoos with your Homegirl's Twitter Handle: Temporary, of course. 

How about a Home AIDS test?  That was It's idea on InLove New York

[Uncle JUICE]

My brain dimly will not translate that into anything but Before Verhaute. LIke what comes after? 

[GreatKazu]

Quote

I keep thinking of products Matt could come up with

NO MOLDS, PLEASE!!!!!

[ginger90]

From Amber, does this fall under the definition of irony??

"Just by shopping at beforeverhaut.com can help us get to our goal of opening up this organization for abandoned children & mothers!"

https://mobile.twitter.com/AmberLPortwood/status/819750398504402945?p=v

[CofCinci]

18 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

From Amber, does this fall under the definition of irony??

"Just by shopping at beforeverhaut.com can help us get to our goal of opening up this organization for abandoned children & mothers!"

https://mobile.twitter.com/AmberLPortwood/status/819750398504402945?p=v

Is this organization for all of those who have been abandoned by Matthew Baier?

[poopchute]

Yeah what is an abandoned mother?

[leighroda]

She's an abandoned mother when bew bew goes to Gary's

[ginger90]

Amber now has models. They're hers you know!

https://mobile.twitter.com/AmberLPortwood/status/819858844469886976/photo/1

[leighroda]

welp, looks like the Victoria secret fashion show has competition. (That is not at all a comment on the models, they are just trying to work... in just snarking on the fact that Amber even thinks the clothes on her site are runway worthy).  Who wants to bet money Matt tries to hook up with at least 3 of them?

Edited January 13, 2017 by leighroda
Because autocorrect thought I was snarling instead of sneaking, not completely wrong

[Snarky McSnarky]

LOL. Someone posted to Ambie's twitter, saying "I'm so confused!"

Edited January 15, 2017 by Snarky McSnarky

[Snarky McSnarky]

10 hours ago, ginger90 said:

 

"Just by shopping at beforeverhaut.com can help us get to our goal of opening up this organization for abandoned children & mothers!"

https://mobile.twitter.com/AmberLPortwood/status/819750398504402945?p=v

"Buy our overpriced crap and maybe someday we'll take an unknown percentage of our profits (if any) and use them to create some kind of organization that helps someone somewhere.  Of course, it isn't the same as making a tax-deductible donation to a real charity that benefits people TODAY, but Matt says you're all dumb enough to fall for this nonsense, so spend, spend, spend.  Sending love."

[SPLAIN]

3 hours ago, ginger90 said:

Amber now has models. They're hers you know!

https://mobile.twitter.com/AmberLPortwood/status/819858844469886976/photo/1

Shit! I read this and thought it read molds. You scared me!

8 hours ago, poopchute said:

Yeah what is an abandoned mother?

Matt's exes.

[CofCinci]

Judging by the models, I'm going to guess that when Matt is caught cheating, it will be with a pretty African-American. 

[FairyDusted]

Ambah has all these ideas and yet does nothing. I guess a halfway house was too ambitious. I agree. Why can't she just sell speaking engagements?   

[GreatKazu]

1 hour ago, FairyDusted said:

Ambah has all these ideas and yet does nothing. I guess a halfway house was too ambitious. I agree. Why can't she just sell speaking engagements?   

She gets nothing out of it. Unlike the upcoming Bahamas cruise where her fans will worship her as she gets a free cruise, unlimited drinks, and a buffet of food.

The halfway house means she'd have to buy a house. She can't even buy one for herself, much less one for others to live in.

[FairyDusted]

yeah but they bought two flippers.If she was smart she would have flipped one for herself so she would always have it. I imagine she thinks she's better than that though. She could have invested and have a cute starter paid off.

[GreatKazu]

I thought the flipped houses were never in Amber's name. I think @CofCinci found information which showed Amber's name was never on those homes.

[MissMel]

2 hours ago, FairyDusted said:

Ambah has all these ideas and yet does nothing. I guess a halfway house was too ambitious. I agree. Why can't she just sell speaking engagements?   

Because she can't get Gnat paid, too?  She can't speak without him and he needs her teevee fame so...  Ick.

[CofCinci]

Yes, @GreatKazu -- Amber's name was never on a single one of the three flip houses.

She still has an unresolved IRS lien of $130,000+, for fuck's sake.  Amber doesn't own a single possession.   Why is she trying to have a small business?  Unless she will run business at a "loss" to offset income from MTV?

[MissMel]

I think that's exactly what she's doing.  And she learned it from Farrah, who learned it from Simon.  And that's where all their animosity originates.  Probably because dumbass inserted his stupid famewhore opinions that left '4 hungry children and not a crop in the field'. 

[ginger90]

And now children's clothing. Yup if I had a business I would poll on Twitter, uh huh.  

https://mobile.twitter.com/AmberLPortwood/status/820139597720129536/photo/1

Edited January 14, 2017 by ginger90

[leighroda]

That is one of my biggest pet peeves on twitter all it is, is an attempt to get likes to increase her social media ranking. Maybe she should try having the other site for more than 20 minutes before expanding.  On the other hand the sadistic side of me giggles knowing that expanding at this point is a huge mistake.

[guilfoyleatpp]

On 1/12/2017 at 6:58 AM, poopchute said:

I have noticed many people replying to her tweets about their husbands being mad.  This is so strange to me.  Is this a thing? Do these women have husbands that demand to approve their every purchase?   I am trying to imagine a scenario where my husband gives a shit about the clothes I buy and I can't picture it.  

You, my friend, are missing out on the lovely world of mom-shopping.

Never in my life did I realize there are so many 20 and 30 somethings who live in completely 1950s style domestic arrangements where the man works a blue collar job and the mom stays at home with x kids, does buy/sell/trade of Tula baby carriers, baby carrier covers, rare lularoe leggings, jamberry nails, and etc on the interwebs. 

Nearly every purchase is dependent upon the pay day, the taxmas, the sale of another item, a paypal refund, a husband's permission. 

These are Amber's people. Literally.  Many of them live in low cost of living states, living with baby daddies, planning those weddings for eventually (or not at all), struggling through their 20s like our girls, but without the benefit of television cameras. I truly had no idea that people lived like that (outside of the "Boys Don't Cry" movie, which made me cry for so many different reasons). 

I sort of sound like a dick, and I don't mean to. I just read a lot of "does this really happen?" posts.  And yes, it totally does.  And I was completely unaware of it until I had a kid and started hanging out in mom groups on the internet.

I can't wait until people start posting pics of their purchases.  I'm pretty sure that she bought this stuff from those cheapo places in China that you see the articles about - the ones where an xxl is actually a medium or smaller. 

[Court]

I don't ask my husband for permission. But if I'm making a large purchase (over $100 for us.) besides groceries, I let him know. He does the same. It's not permission, it's communication.

But these twitter people likely aren't buying anything and are using their husbands as an excuse.