S05.E20: Ocular Fluid and Fighting Robots

[paulvdb]

Christy’s sponsor challenges her to be nice to Bonnie at all costs, and Bonnie is convinced that Adam has stopped making an effort.

[Tenarife60]

I was wondering how Christy would be able to afford a place of her own, especially if she is having to pay child support for Roscoe also.  Perhaps she doesn't, though.

[jewel21]

I really love that dog. 

That smelly tuna sandwich sitting there for days was ridiculous. If I was Christy, I would have thrown it out on the first night and told them both to grow the hell up. 

[treeofdreams]

Quote

That smelly tuna sandwich sitting there for days was ridiculous. If I was Christy, I would have thrown it out on the first night and told them both to grow the hell up. 

Agreed!

Edited May 4, 2018 by treeofdreams

[bichonblitz]

Once again, whyyyyy is Adam always at Bonnie's? He has a perfectly nice place of his own. They could spend time there. 

The whole sandwich situation irritated me. I don't think Adam was being lazy or a jerk. He has a disability. His legs are paralyzed. He is sitting on the couch. Did it ever occur to bitch Bonnie that in order to throw the sandwich out he has to find a way to maneuver himself in to the wheel chair, go throw the sandwich out and then somehow drag himself out of the chair back on to the couch. Just give the guy a break and throw the damn sandwich out for him, Bonnie! 

[Blakeston]

I thought the sponsor's advice was horrible. "No matter who badly your mother treats you, don't defend yourself; just kiss her ass."

It would be one thing if the mother in question was someone like Wendy (ie, a well-meaning person who's just annoying). But Bonnie is a cunning manipulator who loves to take advantage of other people's generosity. You have to stand up for yourself with someone like her - and they'll respect you more if you do.

[Rockstar99435]

2 hours ago, Blakeston said:

I thought the sponsor's advice was horrible. "No matter who badly your mother treats you, don't defend yourself; just kiss her ass."

It would be one thing if the mother in question was someone like Wendy (ie, a well-meaning person who's just annoying). But Bonnie is a cunning manipulator who loves to take advantage of other people's generosity. You have to stand up for yourself with someone like her - and they'll respect you more if you do.

I thought the sponsor was trying to push Christy into making an active choice. Christy would be nice to her mom and really let go of her anger and one of two things would happen. Either  (1) the positivity would create ripples of positivity in Bonnie and Christy's lives and Christy would choose to stay or (2) Bonnie would continue to be terrible and Christy would realize that living with her mom wasn't working and she would choose to move out.

I was totally on Bonnie's side about the sandwich. Adam hangs out at their house, uses their tv/cable, and eats their food. The very least he could do is clean up after himself. Men who refuse to adult and expect their girlfriends/wives to be their bangmaids are the worst. 

[hnygrl]

Not sure how I felt about this one....

Didn't really "like" it, but didn't "not-like" it either...

It just seems to me that they're painting Bonnie (all of a sudden) as one toxic, manipulative, mean-ass-bitch.

I don't like it. I don't like it at all. 

I did find myself agreeing with Christy's sponsor. You are 40 years old and living (rent-free) with your mama, actually you are 40 years old, living OFF your mama. BITCHING NON-STOP ABOUT your mama is ridiculous. Either pee or get off the Pot Christy. 

And the house with the nurses?

When Can I move in?

[Sarah 103]

14 hours ago, Tenarife60 said:

I was wondering how Christy would be able to afford a place of her own, especially if she is having to pay child support for Roscoe also.  Perhaps she doesn't, though.

I don't think she has to pay child support for Roscoe. Usually, in a divorce, child support is paid by the parent who is earning more to the parent who earns less and takes care of the child(ren). In this case, Roscoe lives with Baxter who also earns more money than Christy. 

[Lily H]

14 hours ago, bichonblitz said:

I don't think Adam was being lazy or a jerk. He has a disability. His legs are paralyzed. He is sitting on the couch. Did it ever occur to bitch Bonnie that in order to throw the sandwich out he has to find a way to maneuver himself in to the wheel chair, go throw the sandwich out and then somehow drag himself out of the chair back on to the couch. Just give the guy a break and throw the damn sandwich out for him, Bonnie! 

True, but I also think Adam is more the kind of guy who would be irritated if he thought Bonnie was treating him differently because of his disability. I can imagine him saying to her, "You don't have to baby me! I can throw out my own damn sandwich!" He's VERY independent and I think one of the things he liked about her from the start (other than the fact that she's a great-looking woman) is that she never treated him like he was needy.

[bad things are bad]

Yeah, if Adam left the sandwich, he should deal with it. 

Reminded me a bit of an Everybody Loves Raymond where one of them left a suitcase on the stairs and they both refused to put it away

[iMonrey]

Quote

I was wondering how Christy would be able to afford a place of her own, especially if she is having to pay child support for Roscoe also.  Perhaps she doesn't, though.

Christy doesn't pay child support, but the reason they had to move out of their old apartment was because she had racked up a huge amount of gambling debt. I don't think they have mentioned it since. It was Bonnie who saved them from living in their car by conning her way into this apartment manager's job, which came with an apartment. So neither are paying rent right now. 

I can totally relate to the nurses talking about gross things during dinner. My mother was in a similar medical situation and would take phone calls at the dinner table and proceed to talk about really gross things right at the table. I eventually got used to it, but how rude, and how oblivious those nurses were. 

[MissLucas]

Well, I'm just happy that Wendy's living situation is so much better than I ever expected. Good for her!

I like Christy's sponsor but I did not like her advice and how it played out. The first half of the advice - stop complaining about your mother all the time - was okay. But the whole martyr thing didn't sit well with me. The tuna sandwich plot was just stupid. I agree Christy should have thrown it away and told them both to grow up.

[wendyg]

I don't think it was necessarily bad advice, but I didn't think Christy should become Bonnie's maid. The financial aspect bugged me, though: Christy isn't earning much and she's paying for school...how can she afford *any* rent increase from zero? I'd have no problem with that dinner conversation, personally.

[Spunkygal]

Nothing comes between me and dinner time so bring on the homemade pasta! And I find medical discussions fascinating. A few years ago while at brunch a friend was telling me about some problems she was having with her colostomy bag. She said that there was no one outside the medical field who could/would listen to her issues but me, and especially at a meal! But I do wonder why Bonnie and Adam don't spend more evenings at his place. I know that it's Bonnie's job to be around the complex so it makes sense during the day, but if there's an emergency at night she can still pop back over.

[Gothish520]

On 5/4/2018 at 1:14 PM, hnygrl said:

And the house with the nurses?

When Can I move in?

OMG, the only thing I could think about during that scene was, WHY are they sitting at the dinner table eating while they are still in their work scrubs? Don't health care workers come home, peel that crap off and take a shower before doing anything else? They are covered in germs from being in a hospital all day! And that one guy cooked while still in his dirty scrubs? That is just SO nasty to me.

If anyone here is in the field of medicine, please tell me, am I crazy? What do you do? 

[Gothish520]

20 hours ago, MissLucas said:

Well, I'm just happy that Wendy's living situation is so much better than I ever expected. Good for her!

I agree, that is a really great apartment, and her roommates seem like nice people (despite the dirty scrubs, lol!).

[CatsAndMoreCats]

I thought it was inconsiderate of the nurses to gleefully continue talking shop while Christy tried not to vomit.  If the nurses were that oblivious about how the dinner talk affected Christy, what else would they be oblivious about?  And it seems like the scenario was set up for the equation to ALWAYS be three against one. 

[wendyg]

The scrubs were clean. I'm told they're extremely comfortable. Maybe they use them for lounging around the house as well as work.

[Gothish520]

19 minutes ago, wendyg said:

The scrubs were clean. I'm told they're extremely comfortable. Maybe they use them for lounging around the house as well as work.

They also could've been working the night shift and eating before going in, who knows. But like I said, my first thought was, okay they all just got home from work and they are still sitting around in their germ covered scrubs? It's just something that we germaphobes notice lol!

[msrachelj]

On 5/5/2018 at 1:47 PM, Gothish520 said:

OMG, the only thing I could think about during that scene was, WHY are they sitting at the dinner table eating while they are still in their work scrubs? Don't health care workers come home, peel that crap off and take a shower before doing anything else? They are covered in germs from being in a hospital all day! And that one guy cooked while still in his dirty scrubs? That is just SO nasty to me.

If anyone here is in the field of medicine, please tell me, am I crazy? What do you do? 

the minute i get home after a doctor appt. i put my clothes in the hamper and take a shower. germs ! in medical facilities!! 

when did the bedroom move downstairs?! what the hell? what is upstairs then? they always show them going up and down the stairs. brings me back to why they are sharing a room, not to mention the grossness of sharing a bed.

[DXD526]

The sandwich thing bothered me, as one who virtually never wastes food. If I didn't want the whole sandwich, I would have wrapped up the unused portion and put it in the refrigerator. If these matters are an issue, maybe they should get a tiny fridge for the living room, so it's more convenient for Adam. But wasting a perfectly good half-sandwich irked me. That's how I was brought up. 

[Gothish520]

4 hours ago, msrachelj said:

the minute i get home after a doctor appt. i put my clothes in the hamper and take a shower. germs ! in medical facilities!! 

when did the bedroom move downstairs?! what the hell? what is upstairs then? they always show them going up and down the stairs. brings me back to why they are sharing a room, not to mention the grossness of sharing a bed.

From what I can tell, it seems when Adam sleeps over, they use Violet's old room, and when he doesn't, Bonnie sleeps with Christy. I get that it's because it's easier for them to have scenes together, but from a practical standpoint it makes no sense at all. Violet's old room should be Bonnie's bedroom now. Maybe it is and it just wasn't officially addressed on the show, because when Christy was folding Bonnie's sweater, she put it in the downstairs bedroom.

[iMonrey]

Quote

Christy isn't earning much and she's paying for school...how can she afford *any* rent increase from zero? 

Assuming that Christy still works at the restaurant, she's earning some money, and probably pretty good money. From what I can tell, it looks like a pretty expensive restaurant, so the tips should  be pretty good. And if she's paying zero in rent she should have plenty of cash on hand. She's finished with school now, right? She should be able to afford her own place. 

[funky-rat]

On ‎5‎/‎5‎/‎2018 at 7:27 AM, wendyg said:

I don't think it was necessarily bad advice, but I didn't think Christy should become Bonnie's maid. The financial aspect bugged me, though: Christy isn't earning much and she's paying for school...how can she afford *any* rent increase from zero? I'd have no problem with that dinner conversation, personally.

That's what got me - that kind of advice can backfire.  I tried that kind of thing with my husband.  Now I feel more like the hired help sometimes than his wife, because he's relying on me a whole lot to take care of things, and I'm reaching a breaking point with it.  I have a call with my sponsor on Wednesday - I am looking forward to discussing it.

[wendyg]

Good luck, funky-rat. These things are hard to balance.

[funky-rat]

3 minutes ago, wendyg said:

Good luck, funky-rat. These things are hard to balance.

So much so.  He deals with mental illness on top of addiction issues, and he was deeply depressed because the mental illness cost him a job, and it's been hard for him to get back, so I opted to let things go, just take care of stuff rather than wait for him to do it or make a big deal out of it, but he's eased in to the mindset of "she'll handle it".  I teeter between "ticking him off and sending him back down a spiral" and "enough is enough - I'm not the maid".  Today he told me "recycling is getting full - may want to take that out".  I had planned on taking it out this morning.  I said "I planned on taking it out . I don't need the reminder, but thank you" and he said "OK".  I said it nice, so I'm hoping it sent a hint.

[msrachelj]

21 hours ago, Gothish520 said:

From what I can tell, it seems when Adam sleeps over, they use Violet's old room, and when he doesn't, Bonnie sleeps with Christy. I get that it's because it's easier for them to have scenes together, but from a practical standpoint it makes no sense at all. Violet's old room should be Bonnie's bedroom now. Maybe it is and it just wasn't officially addressed on the show, because when Christy was folding Bonnie's sweater, she put it in the downstairs bedroom.

i thought where she put the sweater was the bedroom they shared. either way it's insane. i have always hated when i had to share a bed with another woman even as a girl. if i were christie i would have gotten a pull out couch or a cot!

[Gothish520]

1 hour ago, msrachelj said:

i thought where she put the sweater was the bedroom they shared. either way it's insane. i have always hated when i had to share a bed with another woman even as a girl. if i were christie i would have gotten a pull out couch or a cot!

It didn't bother me when I was a little girl, but as an adult if I didn't have to share a bed I wouldn't. I adore my husband, but even with him I still think about having my own separate bed LOL!

[msrachelj]

4 hours ago, Gothish520 said:

It didn't bother me when I was a little girl, but as an adult if I didn't have to share a bed I wouldn't. I adore my husband, but even with him I still think about having my own separate bed LOL!

separate bedrooms. especially when you are older. i'm all for it. seriously.