S01.E05: Parenting 101

[druzy]

Jade struggles to care for Kloie by herself, Ashley & Bar take their last trip with friends before becoming parents, Brianna & Danae get ready to welcome Baby Braeson into the world

Previews: 

Brianna's contractions get closer and closer together, so she heads to the hospital with Danae and Jess.

Lexi's mom and stepdad question Lexi and Kyler about what they plan to do after their baby is born.

The pressure of being a new mom starts to overwhelm Jade.

[LilaFowler]

The guys on this show are too much. Jade complained about her boyfriend working so much, so he turned around and quit his job. Dude, you have a newborn at home. You have two people to support now. WTF?

 

Stefan doesn't want anything to do with Kayla but he's controlling and possessive and doesn't want her to leave him out. Kyler could not be less interested in the kid that Lexi is having if he tried.

I don't understand how the parents on this show look themselves in the mirror. Their teenage kids are having babies, living at home for free, not working and have no plans whatsoever. Lexi is going to go into labor at any moment and Lump Kyler doesn't even have any kind of job? What is wrong with these people?

[Pepper Mostly]

Lexi's mother is dumb as a plank (guess the apple didn't fall far from the tree). Why she doesn't sit her daughter down and tell her that that animated sack of potatoes who knocked her up has less interest in her and her baby than he does in the Booker Prize short list is beyond me. She is doing her daughter and grandchild no favors by pretending that he is a responsible, engaged soon-to-be parent. Kyler wants OUT. He has not been shy about letting Lexi know that he could not care less. Lexi should be preparing to be a single parent and stop trying to make Kyler care. That conversation about names was painful. He doesn't care if you name your baby "Garage" or "Tree". Just don't try and name it Kyler Jr. 

I feel bad for Jade but haven't we seen this time and time again on these shows? These girls are all shocked-SHOCKED by how tired they are, and that their babies cry and want to be fed! They all know better. Then when their partners come home after working a 12 hour day they're all mad that they don't "help". Meanwhile, the baby is peacefully sleeping. I get post partum depression. I get that if you are a very social person its hard to be home all day. But this was their choice! What did they think? Call up your friends and have them over! Take the baby out in the stroller! Put on a front pack and take a walk around the block or go to the mall! If you're tired, then lie down and take a nap while your baby is sleeping! If you have time to put on your eyeliner and false eyelashes rather than rest, your priorities need to be re-evaluated. Man. Jade has been hammering so hard at her boyfriend he quit his damn job! Then she whines that she can't go back to work without a doctor's release. Somehow I doubt. She wasn't shown to have any complications. Women all over America go back to work after 6 weeks. I get that she's tired and overwhelmed but thousands do the same thing, every day, and they make it work. Start thinking in terms of solutions. 

Kayla's such an idiot that I can't go on, my blood pressure will go through the roof. 

Edited April 10, 2018 by Pepper Mostly

[3outta5]

"You don't seem depressed to me." There is so much wrong with this dude and that statement, I can't even form words. I was glad Jade said...something but my ears were ringing and I didn't really hear her response.

[Quilty]

Why do these girls wear white dresses at their showers? Is it a thing now?

[Pepper Mostly]

I have no idea, but sweet tap dancing Jesus, these "pregnancy photo shoots" are just cringeworthy. Do I want to see some silly twit wrapped in a sheet, with her baby daddy kissing her naked belly? Who are those pictures FOR?

[Lemur]

12 minutes ago, Pepper Mostly said:

I have no idea, but sweet tap dancing Jesus, these "pregnancy photo shoots" are just cringeworthy. Do I want to see some silly twit wrapped in a sheet, with her baby daddy kissing her naked belly? Who are those pictures FOR?

It's so the kid has a picture of it's father after the dude inevitably takes off and spends the next 18 years blowing off court-ordered child support.  

[LilaFowler]

Kayla's photos will be something that her pathetic ass can cling to after Stefan cheats on her yet again, or ditches her yet again, or chooses anything else in his life over her yet again. She'll look at those terrible photos and think, 'he really loves me!'

[Pepper Mostly]

47 minutes ago, Lemur said:

It's so the kid has a picture of it's father after the dude inevitably takes off and spends the next 18 years blowing off court-ordered child support.  

HAHAHAHAHA! I wish I could like this one hundred times. It made me laugh very loudly.

[Lemur]

Other favorite moment from this show, was Bar starting to lose his shit when Ashley's mother suggest they put together the crib.  A child co-sleeping with those two is a case of SIDS just waiting to happen.  All I can think of is the scene in the Sopranos when Christopher gets high and rolls over on Adriana's dog, smothering it to death.

[configdotsys]

With each new episode, I found myself getting angrier and angrier. These girls are completely spineless that it is no wonder that they are cheated on, lied to, and treated like dirt. Stephan knows full well that he can get away with anything. He just has to say that he made a mistake or cry in a bathroom stall and she will come running. I have zero sympathy for her. I know these girls are young and don't have the life experience yet to know that a guy is not going to magically turn into someone else if you have a baby. Once a cheat, always a cheat.

Kyler is a useless load of blubber that needs a serious smack in the face. The person that called him the fat bully from every 80s movie was spot on.  

There is something endearing to me about Jade's boyfriend. I think it was foolish for him to ditch his job, but in his own mind it was a win-win! He gets to play video games all day with Jade out of the house! He is a very attentive dad and I can't help but like him. I was happy that he yelled "I'm her FATHER!" in the preview because I wanted to smack Jade in the face for yelling "I'm her mother," as if that makes her more important. To quote Judge Judy, "A mother has no more rights to the child than the father."

Bar comes across on the show as a together guy. I get a psycho vibe from Ashley in general, not only when Bar's mom is around. There's something about her that screams stalker or something. Like once you cross her, you better sleep with one eye open.

From the previews, it looks like the honeymoon is over soon for Brianna and Danae. I did not see that working out. Seems Danae liked the idea of being a father and is all about taking care of the baby but once he gets exhausted and is spending all of his take home pay on the baby, or has a difference of opinion on something with Brianna, I can see things blowing up.

[eskimo]

Stephan didn't give two shits about the maternity shoot, he cared about her not including him.  If she would have insisted he be there, he'd have blown the whole thing off.  It's all about power with him.  Whatever he thinks Kayla wants, he is going to do the opposite, to show the world he's a tough dude who's in charge.  He's really just a giant pussy. 

[StatisticalOutlier]

13 hours ago, Pepper Mostly said:

Lexi's mother is dumb as a plank (guess the apple didn't fall far from the tree). Why she doesn't sit her daughter down and tell her that that animated sack of potatoes who knocked her up has less interest in her and her baby than he does in the Booker Prize short list is beyond me. She is doing her daughter and grandchild no favors by pretending that he is a responsible, engaged soon-to-be parent. Kyler wants OUT. He has not been shy about letting Lexi know that he could not care less.

Can't say I agree with calling him an animated sack of potatoes because I see nothing animated about him at all.

And he hasn't been shy about the fact that he couldn't care less, but he's not being clear at all, and Lexi is simply not going to hear "no" when he says "maybe" "kind of" "a little bit" "not really" or any of a million ways to equivocate.  Just look at their discussion about whether they're a couple--he said something that told me he didn't want to be with her, but she didn't hear that, and said she was still unsure.  I think he even said he wanted to see other people, and she still didn't see it as them breaking up. 

She needs to be hit over the head, firmly, with a big fat NO, and even then, she'll work like hell to make it something else.  I just want to shake her.

[jennarose]

7 hours ago, Lemur said:

It's so the kid has a picture of it's father after the dude inevitably takes off and spends the next 18 years blowing off court-ordered child support.  

I have been lurking on this site for years and I finally registered just so I could like your post.

Man, these girls are dumb.

[StayingAfterSunday]

7 hours ago, configdotsys said:

With each new episode, I found myself getting angrier and angrier. These girls are completely spineless that it is no wonder that they are cheated on, lied to, and treated like dirt. Stephan knows full well that he can get away with anything. He just has to say that he made a mistake or cry in a bathroom stall and she will come running. I have zero sympathy for her. I know these girls are young and don't have the life experience yet to know that a guy is not going to magically turn into someone else if you have a baby. Once a cheat, always a cheat.

Kyler is a useless load of blubber that needs a serious smack in the face. The person that called him the fat bully from every 80s movie was spot on.  

There is something endearing to me about Jade's boyfriend. I think it was foolish for him to ditch his job, but in his own mind it was a win-win! He gets to play video games all day with Jade out of the house! He is a very attentive dad and I can't help but like him. I was happy that he yelled "I'm her FATHER!" in the preview because I wanted to smack Jade in the face for yelling "I'm her mother," as if that makes her more important. To quote Judge Judy, "A mother has no more rights to the child than the father."

Bar comes across on the show as a together guy. I get a psycho vibe from Ashley in general, not only when Bar's mom is around. There's something about her that screams stalker or something. Like once you cross her, you better sleep with one eye open.

From the previews, it looks like the honeymoon is over soon for Brianna and Danae. I did not see that working out. Seems Danae liked the idea of being a father and is all about taking care of the baby but once he gets exhausted and is spending all of his take home pay on the baby, or has a difference of opinion on something with Brianna, I can see things blowing up.

I just cannot - cannot- take the Brianna and Danae pair seriously; in fact, I'll do the right thing and just leave it with that.

Yes, there is something endearing about Jade's boyfriend, Sean. He's cute to look at, too.  She, on the other hand, is so bland that it's hard to see what attracted him to her.  Come to think of it, with the exception of Ashley, all of these girls talk in robotic monotones.  What the hell? Who are they trying to imitate? Maybe the Kardashians?

Your comment about Ashley was right on. I laughed so hard at your remark about sleeping with one eye open.  Despite her apparently latent wicked streak, I'll say this much about her, though.  She seems like the only one of these girls who is able to articulate her thoughts in an intelligent manner.  True, the bar for comparison is not set very high, but still... I will also give Ashley a few points for poise and composure; however, I think we've seen how that attribute in Ashley has the potential to flip completely to the opposite pole.  

Then there's puff-daddy (Kyler).  I'm getting a vibe from him that someone is his family has convinced him that this pregnancy was all Lexi's doing. Seeing him strut around in his baseball attire all the time makes me wonder if the he and his family believe Lexi's getting pregnant prevented him from playing baseball in college or maybe deprived him of a potential baseball scholarship or something.  I know, I know. Looking at his dumpy physique this would seem unlikely, but you never know.  

As far as Kayla and her boyfriend, I just don't know what to say.  She's another one who's three minutes away from brain dead.  He's just performing for the cameras.  

This whole show is a disaster.  I really hope they don't renew it.  These idiots don't deserve the airtime, let alone those MTV paychecks.

[MaggieG]

I would scream if I had to deal with Kyler on a daily basis. I'm still baffled at how he managed to get Lexi pregnant, because he's an idiot.

Even though it's a terrible idea to have the baby sleep in the bed with them, I don't mind Bar. Sean isn't too bad either, though he was stupid for quitting his job. They're kings compared to Stephan and Kyler.

Finally, a baby shower without drama!

[Quita]

16 hours ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

Can't say I agree with calling him an animated sack of potatoes because I see nothing animated about him at all.

And he hasn't been shy about the fact that he couldn't care less, but he's not being clear at all, and Lexi is simply not going to hear "no" when he says "maybe" "kind of" "a little bit" "not really" or any of a million ways to equivocate.  Just look at their discussion about whether they're a couple--he said something that told me he didn't want to be with her, but she didn't hear that, and said she was still unsure.  I think he even said he wanted to see other people, and she still didn't see it as them breaking up. 

She needs to be hit over the head, firmly, with a big fat NO, and even then, she'll work like hell to make it something else.  I just want to shake her.

Lexi is delusional. I clearly heard him say during their conversation that he wanted to see other people, so I'm not sure what she thinks she heard. She's a stage 5 clinger, for sure! Something tells me she'd be that way even if she wasn't pregnant.

[BXD]

ANOTHER white baby shower dress?? Why??

Brianna is very smart for not putting Denae on the birth certificate. 

These maternity shoots make me SO uncomfortable. And why does the guy always have to be shirtless?? I find it so strange. And Bar’s pants barely fit-you are probably able to see his underwear in every shot. Classy. 

DOES BAR HAVE A TATTOO OF HIS MOTHER’S NAME ON HIS CHEST?!?! That can’t be healthy...

Just let Kyler know the court date for child support and call it a day. 

[woot]

The photo studio and photographer looked better suited for filming a porno than a maternity shoot.  I’d love to see those photos though... what a train wreck. 

[Brooklynista]

13 hours ago, BXD said:

ANOTHER white baby shower dress?? Why??

Brianna is very smart for not putting Denae on the birth certificate. 

These maternity shoots make me SO uncomfortable. And why does the guy always have to be shirtless?? I find it so strange. And Bar’s pants barely fit-you are probably able to see his underwear in every shot. Classy. 

DOES BAR HAVE A TATTOO OF HIS MOTHER’S NAME ON HIS CHEST?!?! That can’t be healthy...

Just let Kyler know the court date for child support and call it a day. 

Seems Briana knows Danae won't be sticking around any significant length of time. 

[Lemur]

15 hours ago, BXD said:

ANOTHER white baby shower dress?? Why??

Brianna is very smart for not putting Denae on the birth certificate. 

These maternity shoots make me SO uncomfortable. And why does the guy always have to be shirtless?? I find it so strange. And Bar’s pants barely fit-you are probably able to see his underwear in every shot. Classy. 

DOES BAR HAVE A TATTOO OF HIS MOTHER’S NAME ON HIS CHEST?!?! That can’t be healthy...

Just let Kyler know the court date for child support and call it a day. 

I'm almost convinced that MTV is asking/ordering them to wear the flowing white maternity dress baby shower uniform.  

There's something about Lexi that just annoys the living *&^% out of me.  I can't quite put my finger on it, it could be how mealy-mouthed she is (thanks, Scarlett O'Hara for that one), it could be her weird-looking hair line.  Or it could be that she's completely delusional about herself, Kyler and the kid she's bringing into the world.  That or she completely knows with a bone-deep knowledge that it doesn't matter what she does, her folks will end up taking care of all of it, including the custody and support agreement that she's inevitably going to fight with her mother about.  Weird looking privileged-ass troll girl. 

[configdotsys]

2 hours ago, Brooklynista said:

Seems Briana knows Danae won't be sticking around any significant length of time. 

It was interesting to hear the whispered conversation in the car. Brianna definitely knows that Danae will not be around for very long. She sounded relieved while whispering to her mother. I wonder what Danae thought of that when she saw the show.

[ShaNaeNae]

Did anyone notice when they showed a clip of Jades bright ass yellow vehicle driving, they were driving on the shoulder?  Next to them was a solid yellow line.   

[ChristmasJones]

Did I see correctly that Kyler was driving a not-very-old-looking Cadillac? 

If IIRC, and that is true, I found myself wondering if family $$$ is partially to account why a guy who looks like him has such a huge ego

[JasminePhyllisia]

On 4/11/2018 at 6:24 PM, BXD said:

DOES BAR HAVE A TATTOO OF HIS MOTHER’S NAME ON HIS CHEST?!?! That can’t be healthy...

No question Bar is a people-pleaser eager to please his mom and Ashley yet he'll never please them both and I can't blame Ashley, that woman is extremely unstable and she'd drive anyone crazy.  Bar is so totally the opposite of Stephan and Kyler.

Where is the family counseling for all of these very troubled people?  Reality cameras and producers making them have Very Important Conversations are not the same thing.  These poor babies don't stand a chance.  

[Mr. Miner]

22 hours ago, configdotsys said:

I wonder what Danae thought of that when she saw the show.

Who cares?

[configdotsys]

41 minutes ago, Mr. Minor said:

Who cares?

Well, in the realm of caring, I surely do not; however, with all the yapping from Brianna about Danae stepping up and being a dad and all that jazz, Danae, being the unstable ball of anger that he is, would likely not react too kindly to the whispered goings on in that car. 

[Mr. Miner]

That wasn't directed at you, I was just stating that I don't care what he/she thinks. I think he/she is on the show for reasons other than being a teen parent.

[Cephalosapien]

On 4/13/2018 at 10:34 AM, Mr. Minor said:

That wasn't directed at you, I was just stating that I don't care what he/she thinks. I think he/she is on the show for reasons other than being a teen parent.

He. Not she or he/she. Trans man = man = he/him/his.

[Mrs. Hanson]

Okay, we had a snow day today and I caught a bit of this.  Where do I begin?  In the interest of time I will concentrate on Lexi and Kyler.  More importantly, I will focus on her parents, her mom and stepdad.  (Deep breath)  "Lexi, Kyler, your stepdad and I have worked very hard for this home.  We have careers, we save, we sacrifice.  You two are unemployed and pregnant.  You are not ready for this.  Here are some adoption brochures....look them over.  We will support whichever agency you go with, and we will happily pay for you, Lexi, to go to a trade school or college.  Kyler, take your lumpy ass and smirky face outta our house NOW before my six foot seven gun enthusiast husband loses his temper."  

(I really do have a six foot seven gun enthusiast hubby - and yes he is a stepdad to my kids - boys not girls.)

On 4/13/2018 at 9:12 AM, configdotsys said:

Well, in the realm of caring, I surely do not; however, with all the yapping from Brianna about Danae stepping up and being a dad and all that jazz, Danae, being the unstable ball of anger that he is, would likely not react too kindly to the whispered goings on in that car. 

Is Danae trans as in born a girl but living as a boy?  Why would he WANT to be on the birth certificate?  Ah.....to be young, noble and stupid.  I get his intentions are good but I doubt he understands the full ramifications of being listed as the father. 

Kyler does not care if the baby is a boy, a girl, a pet giraffe...he wants OUT.  Now.  Ugh - the boys on this show are such douchbags and the girls ain't much better for putting up with it.

Kayla and Stephan - oy.  I have no words.  

How do these women pick such losers to impregnate them?

Edited to add:  Look, I have two sons, both in college.  They were told from an age appropriate age "Your dad and I were in our early 30's when you were born.  We waited....I waited...for many reasons.  I AM NOT DOING THIS AGAIN.  You two are the great loves of my lives, truly, but when you two are older, I am done with the heavy lifting.....I am not raising my grandkids, pending disaster."  (Loosely translated:  wear a condom)

Edited April 17, 2018 by Mrs. Hanson

[akr]

9 minutes ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

Okay, we had a snow day today and I caught a bit of this.  Where do I begin?  In the interest of time I will concentrate on Lexi and Kyler.  More importantly, I will focus on her parents, her mom and stepdad.  (Deep breath)  "Lexi, Kyler, your stepdad and I have worked very hard for this home.  We have careers, we save, we sacrifice.  You two are unemployed and pregnant.  You are not ready for this.  Here are some adoption brochures....look them over.  We will support whichever agency you go with, and we will happily pay for you, Lexi, to go to a trade school or college.  Kyler, take your lumpy ass and smirky face outta our house NOW before my six foot seven gun enthusiast husband loses his temper."  

I started to write something similar last week.  My take is that Lexi's Mom can't bring herself to tell her daughter that, yes, having a baby this young is a mistake (I suspect Lexi was an early child as well).  That seems to be the thing that upsets Lexi the most - anybody saying any child is a mistake.  Perhaps not, but attempting to raise one at her age is, and expecting someone else to do it for you will probably not end well for anyone.  

Lexi & Kyler, October 2014 (9th grade! was she 13, or 14?)  (this is from her FB page)

[Brooklynista]

^^Tsk. Silly ass heels. I love heels as much as the next gal but are heels that high necessary for their dates at Domino's?

[Mrs. Hanson]

1 hour ago, Brooklynista said:

^^Tsk. Silly ass heels. I love heels as much as the next gal but are heels that high necessary for their dates at Domino's?

She will want to sell those heels on Craig's list for diaper money soon.  Okay, I am old......my dad would have told me I looked like a hooker and never allowed me to go out like that.

True, no baby is a mistake, but the decision to have one at 17 with your lumpy, dumpy and downright frumpy boyfriend IS a mistake.

[akr]

She has similar heels in an off-white color, with peeky-toes, too.  

Congratulations, Tobias & Holly, on having normal names!  Good for you, Lexi, Ashley, and Bar. 

[StatisticalOutlier]

On 4/11/2018 at 5:20 AM, MaggieG said:

I would scream if I had to deal with Kyler on a daily basis. I'm still baffled at how he managed to get Lexi pregnant, because he's an idiot.

Tragically, being an idiot probably makes it more likely to get someone pregnant, especially a teenager with eager eggs..

 

16 hours ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

Okay, I am old......my dad would have told me I looked like a hooker and never allowed me to go out like that.

I was around when the miniskirt was invented, and think this would make Mary Quant roll over in her grave, only apparently she's still alive.  It's sad what happened to something that once looked young and fresh and mod.

 

Quote

True, no baby is a mistake, but the decision to have one at 17 with your lumpy, dumpy and downright frumpy boyfriend IS a mistake.

I don't see the difference, but I'm pretty judgy.