S07.E27: I Only Have Eyes For You

[Primetimer]

Kelly's journal falls open, and into the wrong hands.

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[Primetimer]

Kelly reunites with Brandon, Valerie reunites with scheming, and we reunite with Maalox as we collect the most important moments from S07.E27.

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[maxineofarc]

I literally, physically winced at Brandon's godawful attempt at a Monty Python impression.

The gender dynamics on this damn show just cause me pain.

[STOPSHOUTING]

Oh my god I feel your pain with this show. I can't believe they're still dragging out Donna's stupid virginity as a season 7 (gah!) plot line. People that are "saving themselves" usually get married real, real young. That's kind of how it works. This whole let's-date-for-five-years-and-I'm-fine-with-that was never, ever a thing.

[Earmuffs Mom]

I wish we would have seen more of Val's reactions to Kelly's journal - you know her eyes almost rolled out of her head during most of that snore fest.

[Earmuffs Mom]

Kelly is a bitch to everyone and she gets a brunch?  WTF.  She and Brandon are almost instantly miserable with again too.  They never seem happy with each other, even when Brandon does supposedly "grand romantic gestures" like procuring a kiddie wand.

[BBHN]

Quote

Unicorn sighting! The rare Donna funny that's actually funny.

Almost as funny as TAT's reaction face.

Quote

And why doesn't Val ask herself the same question, and make some new friends already?

Maybe even a group of friends where not everyone in that group is dating someone else in the group?

[EAG46]

I recognize the puppet clip. It's from a 1959 Mexican film called Santa Claus where a demon tries to ruin Santa's big night. Mystery Science Theater 3000 riffed it, and later Rifftrax did a live show on the full restored movie. The little orphan girl Lupita could act rings around most of the 90210 cast.

[TeeVee329]

It's now my own personal head canon that Kelly had a stack of her dad's business cards that she used to snort lines and what Val found were the few left over. #cokekelly

Edited November 20, 2017 by TeeVee329

[Nanna]

"Went to my favorite coffee shop. Meet (sic) some friends from school." What's the point of writing something that vague and non-specific in your own diary? This sounds like a writing exercise or one of those texts you read when you're trying to learn a new language. Why not write "I went to the Peach Pit where I met Donna and Clare" - because, let's face it, that's her favorite coffee shop and her only friends from school or anywhere.
I simply can't stand that kind of infantilising "love symbols": the baby voice. The magic wand. Barf.
Last, but not least: did Val only bring one bottle of bubbles? Did that get three people drunk? (I also complained about a whole bunch of people getting drunk on one vodka melon in the Real Life episode, guess my alcohol soaked scandinavian lifestyle doesn't really match the cleaner life of the Hillsters.) ETA: I now see that she brought at least two bottles. Makes more sense.

[yousetmeupyoucrud]

Electric car = not gay 

Cruelty free shampoo = super gay 

God, if only the cops had shot Brandon on sight.

 

Last but not least, this reading someone else's diary thing reminds me sooo much of the Golden Girls episode where Blanche read Rose's diary that turned out to actually be her 4H journal from the summer she raised a bunch of pigs. Nice borrowing of storylines, writers!

Edited November 20, 2017 by yousetmeupyoucrud

[CurlyATX]

"Went to my favorite coffee shop. Meet (sic) some friends from school." What's the point of writing something that vague and non-specific in your own diary? This sounds like a writing exercise or one of those texts you read when you're trying to learn a new language. Why not write "I went to the Peach Pit where I met Donna and Clare" - because, let's face it, that's her favorite coffee shop and her only friends from school or anywhere.
I simply can't stand that kind of infantilising "love symbols": the baby voice. The magic wand. Barf.
Last, but not least: did Val only bring one bottle of bubbles? Did that get three people drunk? (I also complained about a whole bunch of people getting drunk on one vodka melon in the Real Life episode, guess my alcohol soaked scandinavian lifestyle doesn't really match the cleaner life of the Hillsters.) ETA: I now see that she brought at least two bottles. Makes more sense.

These guys are light weights (or economical- your choice). Remember even hard-partying Dylan got wasted on two of those mini bottles at the camping trip.

[CurlyATX]

Oh my god I feel your pain with this show. I can't believe they're still dragging out Donna's stupid virginity as a season 7 (gah!) plot line. People that are "saving themselves" usually get married real, real young. That's kind of how it works. This whole let's-date-for-five-years-and-I'm-fine-with-that was never, ever a thing.

I've said before but I had quite a few friends in college who were "saving themselves". Most did everything else. In general Donna is written as having no drive at all, except for a few random times. And she seems to have NO understanding of the male anatomy. I don't remember any guys in college who'd be ok with just making out naked for 3 hours.

[WhosThatGirl]

I know I say this all the time but I watched these on reruns so I didn’t realize these were all one entire long season! I’m always left wondering how they got away with that?

Kelly and Brandon are the worst. Its sad because I think Jennie Garth is really funny, she was on that short lived WB show with Amanda Baynes and she was really funny in it. Also in 90210 redux, she’s annoying at times but not as much as she is here.

[ZeroDiscipline]

This episode makes me so mad at Valerie. Why did she have to blow her wad so early with what she knew was in Kelly's diary? She was legit getting along with Donna and Claire. She could have parlayed that into much, much more. They were getting annoyed at stupid Kelly and Brandon, and would have continued to have been annoyed had the whole diary talk/apology/ we're sisters thing had not happened yet. Valerie could have continued hanging out with them, and could have continued to occasionally crash in her room after too much wine and movies with the girls, and could have continued reading Kelly's diary. Kelly would have spent more time at the Walsh house and eventually Valerie could have moved into the beach house, who knows. I thought Valerie was better at the long con than this. Inconsistent writing.

[ZeroDiscipline]

Oooh, we do see Tracey again though. She gets one more episode next season when they just happen to run into her in Hawaii on her honeymoon or some shit.

[Kerfuffler]

35 minutes ago, WhosThatGirl said:

Its sad because I think Jennie Garth is really funny, she was on that short lived WB show with Amanda Baynes and she was really funny in it. 

I forgot about that show, but I actually really liked it! A way better version of Jennie Garth, for sure.

 

I call bullshit that Kelly would mock Clare's hair but not Donna's. It's really a tossup who's is worse.

[Jax7917]

Yeah I don't know why the hair department hated these girls so much. Clare and Donna's hair was just so bad every season. Donna's was probably at its best during the last 2 seasons. Clare never had a best. Kelly's hair wasn't bad except season 8 she had a  terrible mullet. Val's hair was nicest during the first two seasons she was on. I didn't like when her hair was really dark and flat. Looked greasy .

[BBHN]

It always makes Brenda's "I'm from Beverly Hills, we know how to party there" comment all the more laughable...

[CurlyATX]

Oooh, we do see Tracey again though. She gets one more episode next season when they just happen to run into her in Hawaii on her honeymoon or some shit.

Does she marry that guy from her ranch?

[TeeVee329]

Am I a crackpot or is the first page of Kelly's diary a total retcon job? Because we saw her...in whatever episode that was...writing on the beach and apologizing to the diary that she hadn't started it earlier. Wasn't that blah blah about Brandon and Dylan supposed to be the first entry?

[ZeroDiscipline]

1 hour ago, CurlyATX said:

Does she marry that guy from her ranch?

No, I believe she has time to find the love of her life sometime between Brandon dumping her and the next season starting. I can't really remember, but I feel like her new boyfriend is in the military or something? We will find out soon enough.

[MerBearStare]

8 hours ago, yousetmeupyoucrud said:

Electric car = not gay 

Cruelty free shampoo = super gay 

One of us! One of us!

[TeeVee329]

Oh Val.  Your scheming heart was in the right place - hating Kelly, hating the idea of Kelly and Brandon together, wanting to help other people recognize how much Kelly sucks - but, as always, you flew too close to the sun.  And it's only gonna get worse for her thanks to Bill Taylor's stupid business cards.

Steve trying to school David on sex when his current girlfriend is David's ex-girlfriend is just...whaaa?

[Surrealist]

6 hours ago, ZeroDiscipline said:

No, I believe she has time to find the love of her life sometime between Brandon dumping her and the next season starting. I can't really remember, but I feel like her new boyfriend is in the military or something? We will find out soon enough.

You're right. Tracy's fiance is a military man. I don't think she said how and where they met.

[txhorns79]

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You're right. Tracy's fiance is a military man. I don't think she said how and where they met.

Yes, just when you think Tracy can't be made to look worse, she apparently married her rebound guy mere months after being dumped by Brandon. 

I forgot how they suddenly decided that Donna was interested in fashion design like three weeks before she graduated college.  I know that Donna's professor is eventually going to be one of those "I'm only tough on you because you are so talented" jackasses, but I will enjoy her until that time comes.   

Edited November 21, 2017 by txhorns79

[Jax7917]

Yeah Donna's major suddenly turned into fashion OUT OF NOWHERE and she was apparently extremely talented in designing and sewing clothes, as if they have ever mentioned that previously. And then Kelly's major is psychology as if that girl should EVER help other people. Between being the absolute worst with advice, falling for the cult, getting into cocaine because she's so weak minded, cheating on every boyfriend, and just being so stupid in general, she should be anything BUT a psychology major.

I think the only time I ever liked Kelly on this show was the AIDS Jimmy story line. She actually wasn't annoying and obnoxious during those episodes.

Also, I'm watching the Kenny story line now, and wow that guy was an asshole. Val pretending to be pregnant was over the top, but he really was a terrible person. 

[CurlyATX]

  Quote

You're right. Tracy's fiance is a military man. I don't think she said how and where they met.

Yes, just when you think Tracy can't be made to look worse, she apparently married her rebound guy mere months after being dumped by Brandon. 

I forgot how they suddenly decided that Donna was interested in fashion design like three weeks before she graduated college.  I know that Donna's professor is eventually going to be one of those "I'm only tough on you because you are so talented" jackasses, but I will enjoy her until that time comes.   

This part is a little blurry, but isn't there some crazy thing about how Donna and David go to New Orleans and they oversleep and she misses her big presentation and we get that "I'm trying to push you because you're so talented" crap from the teacher. In reality, in any workplace, if you miss a meeting you'd be in trouble, no matter what.
I've never seen a bunch of kids land ass-backwards into success in my life. Kelly goes from psych major to working at a clinic, business owner, and then publicist. Donna Martin starts out with her own line of clothes AND boutique. Brandon and Steve run the paper (granted that was a "gift" from Rush). Brandon ends up working for a big newspaper at the end, right?
I know many people hated her, but I really felt sorry for Gina, especially when Matt screws up negotiations for her. I always thought Gina and Matt had good chemistry together.
I'm gearing up for Parker Lewis scam and mush-mouth Noah!

[CurlyATX]

I forgot to comment on the shoes on sofa/bed thing. I'm Asian, so just having shoes in the house is a huge deal. I can't even imagine how quickly my life would have ended if I put my dirty sandals on someone's sofa.

[txhorns79]

Quote

This part is a little blurry, but isn't there some crazy thing about how Donna and David go to New Orleans and they oversleep and she misses her big presentation and we get that "I'm trying to push you because you're so talented" crap from the teacher. In reality, in any workplace, if you miss a meeting you'd be in trouble, no matter what.

Just imagine, without this ridiculousness, we'd never get to Now Wear This. 

[benteen]

That last show showed just how incesty the gang had become.  It's funny seeing Claire there celebrating as she would be gone from the show very shortly, never to return again.

I always considered Valerie doing business with Kelly's dad to be the most pathetic thing that she's done and deserved what she got.  But again, I don't understand this obsession with the gang, who aren't close to her (save for David).  It really does make her look like a loser when she could be doing a lot more with her life.

Geez, I wish one of those cops could have cracked Brandon across the mouth with his nightstick.  He couldn't hit Brandon in the kneecap though because he'd lose the stick in Brandon's massive pants.

[SoupThrower]

14 hours ago, CurlyATX said:

I forgot to comment on the shoes on sofa/bed thing. I'm Asian, so just having shoes in the house is a huge deal. I can't even imagine how quickly my life would have ended if I put my dirty sandals on someone's sofa.

Oh yeah I would be killed if I did that...again.

[SoupThrower]

14 hours ago, CurlyATX said:

This part is a little blurry, but isn't there some crazy thing about how Donna and David go to New Orleans and they oversleep and she misses her big presentation and we get that "I'm trying to push you because you're so talented" crap from the teacher. In reality, in any workplace, if you miss a meeting you'd be in trouble, no matter what.
I've never seen a bunch of kids land ass-backwards into success in my life. Kelly goes from psych major to working at a clinic, business owner, and then publicist. Donna Martin starts out with her own line of clothes AND boutique. Brandon and Steve run the paper (granted that was a "gift" from Rush). Brandon ends up working for a big newspaper at the end, right?
I know many people hated her, but I really felt sorry for Gina, especially when Matt screws up negotiations for her. I always thought Gina and Matt had good chemistry together.
I'm gearing up for Parker Lewis scam and mush-mouth Noah!

 

Mush mouth Noah is the best description ever.

 

12 hours ago, benteen said:

That last show showed just how incesty the gang had become.  It's funny seeing Claire there celebrating as she would be gone from the show very shortly, never to return again.

I always considered Valerie doing business with Kelly's dad to be the most pathetic thing that she's done and deserved what she got.  But again, I don't understand this obsession with the gang, who aren't close to her (save for David).  It really does make her look like a loser when she could be doing a lot more with her life.

Geez, I wish one of those cops could have cracked Brandon across the mouth with his nightstick.  He couldn't hit Brandon in the kneecap though because he'd lose the stick in Brandon's massive pants.

Funny that the only person that she doesn't have to try that shit with is David. Val can do more but the writers don't like her so whatever show.

 

Theyshould have locked up Brandon, not hit him but locked him up. 

[kfree9]

I was not only bothered by Kelly's annoying handwriting, but by the weird "Dear Valerie," on the first page. Is she writing her a letter? And, shouldn't there be more punctuation? Like a hyphen before Kelly? I don't know why I analyzed it so much but it really drove be crazy. I would have just written--To Valerie From Kelly Done!

[Kimmykun]

On 11/21/2017 at 2:52 PM, CurlyATX said:

Kelly goes from psych major to working at a clinic, business owner, and then publicist.

And then sometime between B.H., 90210 and 90210: CW Edition, she decides to earn her Master's in psychology, and becomes the guidance counselor at West Beverley. 

'Cause, sure. 

[CurlyATX]

On ‎11‎/‎22‎/‎2017 at 3:35 AM, SoupThrower said:

Mush mouth Noah is the best description ever.

Can't take credit for that... it's from someone on the TWoP boards... ah, the number of hours I wasted on that during my pregnancy with Kiddo #1.

[CurlyATX]

On ‎11‎/‎22‎/‎2017 at 7:05 PM, kfree9 said:

I was not only bothered by Kelly's annoying handwriting, but by the weird "Dear Valerie," on the first page. Is she writing her a letter? And, shouldn't there be more punctuation? Like a hyphen before Kelly? I don't know why I analyzed it so much but it really drove be crazy. I would have just written--To Valerie From Kelly Done!

Actually, I would have been so annoyed if someone wrote the To/From on my  journal gift.  What if I wanted to return it or regift it?  Someone did that for our wedding and it was something I didn't want (a pressure cooker), so I ended up giving it to my mom because I couldn't return it since it was written on.  That's what the card is for people!  I hate waste, so I always attach the gift receipt so you can take it back and get whatever you really wanted. 

[bilgistic]

I forgot to comment on the shoes on sofa/bed thing. I'm Asian, so just having shoes in the house is a huge deal. I can't even imagine how quickly my life would have ended if I put my dirty sandals on someone's sofa.

My sister came over a few weeks ago and put her shoes up on my futon/couch that has a perfectly washable fitted sheet on it. Nonetheless, my eye twitched the whole time. My shoes come off the second I step inside my apartment, and I'm white! Shoes are nasty.