S05.E05: Cool Beans

[Nancypants]

Just pitch his sandy ass into the sea

Edited October 4, 2017 by Nancypants

[sasha206]

7 hours ago, biakbiak said:

FU Jenn. Bri going out on a date is not being sexually promiscuous. I liked how Bri handled both Chris and Matt even though I think they should all just hook up with people from other boats or at clubs.

I know, right?  Meanwhile, the same girl equating dating and sexually promiscuous is orgasming over a drink and bragging about how she can spontaneously give herself one.  She's just gross.

[dleighg]

Can anyone explain why this ship apparently does not have a vegetable peeler? Who does this?

[dleighg]

59 minutes ago, eurekagirl mOo said:

I use closed captioning. Not due to hearing (well that also) but I live next to a major Air Force/Military base and I get jets all the time that make it totally impossible to hear) Point being the cc always says Boatswain. Is it Bosun? Or Boatswain? 

what's kind of weird is that the official CC (if you turn it on) says boatswain, but the "sometimes" CC (when voices are low) says "bosun".

[jennylauren123]

"Bosun" is what happens when you say "boatswain" three times fast. It's just the standard pronunciation by now. 

[TexasGal]

I had friends in college who did crew, and I remember having similar confusion over coxswain which everyone pronounced as coxsun.  Or, I guess cocksun when they were being demeaning.  LOL

I guess maybe Matt was sweeping (or drunkenly attempting to) because he realized he was getting sand everywhere.  He is Canadian polite after all.

[ryebread]

30 minutes ago, dleighg said:

Can anyone explain why this ship apparently does not have a vegetable peeler? Who does this?

There are 956 ways to slice a carrot, dontchaknow.  I'm hoping that's not the way he peels one.  But rather getting those stacked pieces you see in the picture ready to be julienned. Or something.

But I've lost confidence in Matt's abilities because of his mad presentation skillz at the beach bag opening picnic, so that could very well be how he peels a carrot.

Edited October 4, 2017 by ryebread

[dleighg]

2 minutes ago, ryebread said:

But rather getting those stacked pieces you see in the picture ready to be julienned. Or something.

Yeah I didn't pay attention to where the carrots ended up. But it just seemed like he was a big sad sack and not really caring *what* he was doing or how he was doing it. So I could imagine him deciding to "peel" them that way, just 'cause.

[ryebread]

3 minutes ago, dleighg said:

Yeah I didn't pay attention to where the carrots ended up. But it just seemed like he was a big sad sack and not really caring *what* he was doing or how he was doing it. So I could imagine him deciding to "peel" them that way, just 'cause.

Sad sack.  Perfect.

This episode killed Matt for me.  The lame date.  Swigging the JB right from the bottle.  Getting stupid drunk.  Moping around for 2 days like a love sick teenager.

His looks say, "MAN".  His actions say, "CHILD".

Pity.

[Nancypants]

1 hour ago, dleighg said:

Can anyone explain why this ship apparently does not have a vegetable peeler? Who does this?

People that are hungover as shiit, that are going down a Shame Spiral

[jennylauren123]

I think Jen thinks that having a skinny body + having long blonde hair = hotness. No ma'am. Not even close.

She is a whiny little thing, entitled and lazy and whiny. The hair delay was pure idocy--and then she had to have Bri check her for any hair that wasn't graced by the curling iron. Grrrrrl! No!

Get it together, swing that sad shit up into a bunny-bun-bun, like the rest of us grownup longhaired gals do, and proceed with your day, which you are being paid very well for!

16 hours ago, Nancypants said:

People that are hungover as shiit, that are going down a Shame Spiral

Any chef worth his or her weight has a mandoline, which peels, juliennes, and makes fancy shapes--especially with carrots, like waffle fry looking shapes. They're cheap and fold flat, so are storable. But that dude has Jim Beam on the brain, I guess. 

Edited October 5, 2017 by jennylauren123
Because you can't slice carrots with a "mandolin"

[Nancybeth]

The guests seemed kind of weird about letting the crew try and make things better with their meal.  Like, you're paying a ton of money to charter this yacht, they'll remake your steak, they'll replace the risotto, they'll give you more ice cream.  In the past there have been guests who asked for nachos or pizza or cookies in the middle of the night or a completely different meal at dinner service!

That being said, was dinner just the scallops and risotto and then the desert?  No starter or salad?  It seemed a bit lacking. 

[Passing Strange]

There are lots of nautical terms that are spelled differently than they're pronounced, for instance gunwale and gunnel or mainsail and main-sul. There are more examples and explanation of why in this article.

 

6 hours ago, ghoulina said:

That did annoy me. She was able to gently let Chris Brown down. Why not do the same for Matt? Was it just because she wanted off the boat, and figured Matt would be more tolerable than Chris? If so, boy did that backfire!

She wanted to get to know him better, rather than dismissing the idea right off the bat.

[dleighg]

2 minutes ago, Nancybeth said:

The guests seemed kind of weird about letting the crew try and make things better with their meal.  Like, you're paying a ton of money to charter this yacht, they'll remake your steak, they'll replace the risotto, they'll give you more ice cream.

I also thought Kate was a little too laid back when told of the issues. I personally think she should have been more direct-- I'm terribly sorry, please let us make it again/something different. She was not inappropriate, I just thought she could have been "more"

[fifty8th]

8 minutes ago, dleighg said:

I also thought Kate was a little too laid back when told of the issues. I personally think she should have been more direct-- I'm terribly sorry, please let us make it again/something different. She was not inappropriate, I just thought she could have been "more"

I feel like everyone is phoning it in this year, Kate, Nico, Chris Brown especially, maybe Captain Lee.

So who do we think gets cut loose next week, I think it has to be Chris Brown, the other two greenies have at least improved a little.

Edited October 4, 2017 by fifty8th

[Passing Strange]

2 minutes ago, dleighg said:

I also thought Kate was a little too laid back when told of the issues. I personally think she should have been more direct-- I'm terribly sorry, please let us make it again/something different. She was not inappropriate, I just thought she could have been "more"

I agree. Both Kate and Lee have been off this season, like they're giving us characters rather than the people we've seen in previous seasons. Lee's "clever" sayings (who pisses on hens, anyway?) and Kate's bon mots seem strained and rehearsed. They've established brands and that's what they're giving us now, which does make them seem a little "less."

[ghoulina]

20 minutes ago, Nancybeth said:

That being said, was dinner just the scallops and risotto and then the desert?  No starter or salad?  It seemed a bit lacking

I thought they did have some sort of salad prior? With chicken, maybe? I recall the main "foodie" dude commenting on how fresh the corn was. They really seemed to enjoy the salads. 

[Nancypants]

Her bon mots are the best this year!

[Nancybeth]

I agree, the season has been kind of...flat.  I think Captain Lee and Kate are over it, Nico is still processing his grief and overwhelmed with the green crew and everyone else is just too boring.  Matt is like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde after last night's ep.  Maybe it came too soon after the Med season, which was infinitely better.

[Nancypants]

Med sucked! Crew was just as shitty, except for Capn Sandy

Edited October 4, 2017 by Nancypants

[Mindthinkr]

40 minutes ago, fifty8th said:

I feel like everyone is phoning it in this year, Kate, Nico, Chris Brown especially, maybe Captain Lee.

They are being lazy daisical.

[fifty8th]

13 minutes ago, Nancypants said:

I thought they did have some sort of salad prior? With chicken, maybe? I recall the main "foodie" dude commenting on how fresh the corn was. They really seemed to enjoy the salads. 

I thought that might have been lunch. I figure what ever app they had they did not show.

[HunterHunted]

23 minutes ago, ghoulina said:

I thought they did have some sort of salad prior? With chicken, maybe? I recall the main "foodie" dude commenting on how fresh the corn was. They really seemed to enjoy the salads. 

The salad with chicken was their lunch dish. It had corn and a tomato vinaigrette. I think that's the problem with Matt's food. Ben and Adam (BD: Med) both seem to do 3 course meals--appetizer, main, dessert. I don't think we've see Matt make a starter yet.

[dleighg]

5 minutes ago, HunterHunted said:

I don't think we've see Matt make a starter yet.

If in fact he is not doing starters then I would be extremely disappointed as a guest. One would just plain expect that. Otherwise it's like "dinner at home."

[HunterHunted]

Just now, dleighg said:

If in fact he is not doing starters then I would be extremely disappointed as a guest. One would just plain expect that. Otherwise it's like "dinner at home."

Seriously. Bananas foster. No starter. They would have had far better results going to any restaurant or just staying at home. Except for scallops, I have everything I need to recreate Matt's dinner of scallops with brussel sprouts and risotto and bananas foster. Heck the ice cream in my freezer is homemade unlike what Matt used.

I think the closest Matt has come to making a starter was the sushi, but that was because the guests requested sushi and dinner.

[ghoulina]

30 minutes ago, fifty8th said:

I thought that might have been lunch. I figure what ever app they had they did not show.

Ahhh, okay. Thank you. 

[ryebread]

1 hour ago, Nancypants said:

Her bon mots are the best this year!

I liked her witticisms best in her first season because they seemed fresh and clever.  Now I just see sarcasm! all! the! time!  Her humor is constantly (exclusively?) at the expense of her crewmates and guests.  She used to be smart 'n' sassy.  Now all I see is bored 'n' bitchy. 

If that's all we're gonna get from her, I don't think she'll remain relevant or watchable for much longer.  Has she ever shared any thing about her family, friends, pets?  Other than getting randy with Ro, have we ever seen an episode where she was having a really good time? Or being sympathetic to anyone about anything?  She just seems so damn jaded, or brittle or something. 

Edited October 4, 2017 by ryebread

[ryebread]

2 hours ago, jennylauren123 said:

Any chef worth his or her weight has a mandolin, which peels, juliennes, and makes fancy shapes--especially with carrots, like waffle fry looking shapes. They're cheap and fold flat, so are storable. But that dude has Jim Beam on the brain, I guess. 

I went to one of those dinners/lessons where you sit at a big island with cooktop and watch the chef prepare the meal. That's how I know there are a dozen different ways to chop a carrot or a potato.  This guy was an artist with his knife skills.  He julienned carrots, by hand, with such precision that each piece was the exact length and width. Perfect little matchsticks.  And then when after he was done julienne-ing them, like magic, he got them all back into a neat pile and then rapid fire chopped them into the tiniest carrot cubes I'd ever seen which were then used as a garnish.  By hand is the only way he could've done it.  But I don't, for a minute, think Matt is capable of such kitchen wizardry so he'd be smart to get a mandolin. 

[Marvin]

18 hours ago, Bronzedog said:

Lackadaisical is a word.  Lazydaisycal is not.

Considering he says Cool Beans - i would say he knows the difference but prefers the weird way of saying it as Lazy Dasyical.

8 hours ago, ghoulina said:

Katee seemed to think Matt was just shrugging off the complaints. I didn't get that at all. I figured Matt already KNEW he fucked up. He was in a bad head space, and I think he was just trying to hold it together. He looked, to me, like he was shutting down, so he didn't flip out. 

I liked the way he handled it. How else was he supposed to  - flip and and start shouting and swearing ??

2 hours ago, jennylauren123 said:

Any chef worth his or her weight has a mandolin, which peels, juliennes, and makes fancy shapes--especially with carrots, like waffle fry looking shapes. They're cheap and fold flat, so are storable. But that dude has Jim Beam on the brain, I guess. 

Any real chef would not touch such a thing ! They rely on their knife skills for chopping, dicing and slicing. That is why they each have their own set of knives that are often the most expensive items in the kitchen. A good chef keeps those knives pristine and super sharp. The knives they have can cut or slice anything much better than any mandolin. One executive chef - Eric Ripert - even had Louis Vuitton make a custom knife carrier for him !

I think Nico is being a bit of a baby. No-one has questioned his skills as a sea man, but he has always been known for not being very good at managing people. He just doesn't have the people skills needed nor the organisational skills.

[Diane Mars]

4 hours ago, jennylauren123 said:

...Any chef worth his or her weight has a mandolin, which peels, juliennes, and makes fancy shapes--especially with carrots, like waffle fry looking shapes. They're cheap and fold flat, so are storable. But that dude has Jim Beam on the brain, I guess. 

When I watched it, I thought : "wow ! If you don't use the mandoline, your hung over is a massive one !" (and yes, it's safer to use a knife, ever if slower, than a mandoline. For real.)

Edited October 4, 2017 by Diane Mars

[howiveaddict]

Hung over, he would have been missing knuckles if he used the mandoline.  

[Diane Mars]

6 minutes ago, howiveaddict said:

Hung over, he would have been missing knuckles if he used the mandoline.  

Indeed

[Carolina Girl]

Hmmmm.....where did we see this before?

1.  Second Stew acting like she's put-upon Cinderella.  Only thing missing is the phrase "if I were chief stew...."

2.  Cutie Pie being sought after by the chef and (sorta) by lead deck hand

3.  Chief Stew stealing away to be with someone 

This is getting to be more formulaic than a Dan Brown novel.  

[PaperTree]

nm

Edited October 5, 2017 by PaperTree

[Nancypants]

Its dull, formulaic, and more boring than the FUCKING FOODIES

[Christi]

Bri looks just like Steve Perry...thats all I got

Edited October 5, 2017 by Christi

[ryebread]

4 hours ago, Carolina Girl said:

Hmmmm.....where did we see this before?

1.  Second Stew acting like she's put-upon Cinderella.  Only thing missing is the phrase "if I were chief stew...."

2.  Cutie Pie being sought after by the chef and (sorta) by lead deck hand

3.  Chief Stew stealing away to be with someone 

This is getting to be more formulaic than a Dan Brown novel.  

4. Dum dum drunken deck hand on the verge of/getting fired.

Ya know what we're not seeing that I kind of miss?  A kind of kooky, rebellious stew like Kat and Rocky. Jen was probably hired to fill that role, because yeah I think Bravo has a formula, but she sucks at it.

[Batwings]

Not sure about EJ yet. I was secretly hoping it was "BD" Kelley that would be joining us, just for the eye candy and guaranteed crying-while-smiling trait that he does so well. 

I had high hopes for Matt being a normal human being until the date. Get your life together, dude. I miss Ben and his annoying yet endearing laugh. Sigh.

[jennylauren123]

13 hours ago, Marvin said:

Any real chef would not touch such a thing ! They rely on their knife skills for chopping, dicing and slicing. That is why they each have their own set of knives that are often the most expensive items in the kitchen. A good chef keeps those knives pristine and super sharp. The knives they have can cut or slice anything much better than any mandolin. One executive chef - Eric Ripert - even had Louis Vuitton make a custom knife carrier for him !

Nah, they do. I know a "real chef" who has one and uses it--and he of course also has his own super-sharp knife set. Real chefs use the tools that work, and that includes knives and mandolines. I think my chef uses the mandoline only for certain things--like waffle-cut veggies--but they do come in handy, and I have seen Matt's so-called skillz--not good! Also, mandolines come with safety guards, which would be helpful for drunk chefs like Matt!

Edited October 5, 2017 by jennylauren123

[Nancypants]

I agree with Kate that Matt's food seems bland.

Salmon/ mashed potatoes/broccoli. Bread pudding. Just, very Vanilla.

[Mindthinkr]

Matt stated that his cooking is "simple". If I was going on an expensive charter I'd expect a lot more than simple fare I could make at home. Especially if they were non-drinking guests. I'd want to wow them with visual eye candy in terms of fare. Hasn't this chef ever heard of an amuse bouche? I'd be serving one as they sat to the table to whet their appetites and to rid them of their initial hunger. 

[eurekagirl mOo]

I had only watched half as, sadly, i went to bed about 1/4 way in. Finally saw it all last night.

Nico-Quit whining. You were NEVER permanent Bosun. You had your chance and all you did was whine and not teach them one dam thing. Running to the "Cap" every 2 mins. to cry does NOT get you promoted. Welcome to the Real World!

EJ-Seems OK. I can do without the Cool Beans-Mostly because my boss says that all the time! BUT he did try to teach them something, and make sure the boat was in tip top shape which, Nico, apparently did NOT. Fresh eyes always see things the crew who is seeing it every day often miss.  

Chris Brown may be a tool but I liked the crew trying to help him out. Offering their closet space. Offering their bed so the poor guy can sleep. 

She REALLY DID do her hair for 15 mins!!!! Not that I doubted it I just hadn't seen that yet. Oh HELL NO!!! 

If the guests were unhappy they had mouths. I HATE people who eat everything and THAN bitch about it. Just ask! I'll get it for you! Other tahn that they didn't bother me. I don't drink and neither do my friend (a few of whom who are in recovery) We have a BLAST. We have a ton of fun and no nasty hangovers. 

[ryebread]

51 minutes ago, Mindthinkr said:

Matt stated that his cooking is "simple". If I was going on an expensive charter I'd expect a lot more than simple fare I could make at home. Especially if they were non-drinking guests. I'd want to wow them with visual eye candy in terms of fare. Hasn't this chef ever heard of an amuse bouche? I'd be serving one as they sat to the table to whet their appetites and to rid them of their initial hunger. 

I think it depends on the guests. I'll have to go back and watch the preference sheet scene. Those guests just might have simple needs and tastes. No booze, no chi chi food. And if they specified that, that's what they should get. The Mr. and I are boaters. But neither of us have any desire to do a chartered cruise. In part, because the dining experience would be lost on him. He eats clean, he eats simple. No fancy preparation nor presentation is necessary. He hates any kind of sauce or smear. He would be offended by Bananas Foster. LOL. Sadly, he is unadventurous in the food department. Everybody has a flaw. I always tease him that my next husband will have a more developed palate. That said, he can pack a great picnic like nobody's business. Suck it, Matt.

Damn. I was so disappointed by that scene.

[ryebread]

1 hour ago, eurekagirl mOo said:

I don't drink and neither do my friend (a few of whom who are in recovery) We have a BLAST. We have a ton of fun and no nasty hangovers. 

That was the thought I had when they said they didn't drink. Maybe all, or even just one of them were in the program. Recovering alcoholics deserve cruises too! Also, sometimes on a boat, some people just don't like to drink because getting drunk plus the motion of the ocean isn't a good combination. It's all good! 

[dleighg]

7 minutes ago, ryebread said:

I think it depends on the guests. I'll have to go back and watch the preference sheet scene. Those guests just might have simple needs and tastes. No booze, no chi chi food. And if they specified that, that's what they should get.

I don't think they mentioned it in the preference sheet meeting (the Captain said that the guest was a "chef"; that's it). But the guy went in the galley and told Matt "no architectural stuff- just good food." That said, they should get properly cooked risotto and a steak done to the requested temperature for God's sake.

[Mindthinkr]

10 minutes ago, ryebread said:

That was the thought I had when they said they didn't drink. Maybe all, or even just one of them were in the program. Recovering alcoholics deserve cruises too! Also, sometimes on a boat, some people just don't like to drink because getting drunk plus the motion of the ocean isn't a good combination. It's all good! 

Some people get very seasick. To prevent it they may wear Scopolamine patches. Scopolamine patches do not mix with alcohol and it states that one should not imbibe while wearing one. There are many reasons people may not choose to drink onboard. 

[ryebread]

13 minutes ago, dleighg said:

That said, they should get properly cooked risotto and a steak done to the requested temperature for God's sake.

Absolutely!

I missed the part where the guest said he was a chef. I was surprised that they were surprised at the amount of ice cream on the bananas foster. Most high end restaurants only give you a little shaving of ice cream on a desert like that. They should have asked for more. Not that there's anything wrong with it, but I think they're more accustomed to the types of desserts you get at a Chili's restaurant. We were there this summer and shared a lava cake that had, what appeared to be, a pint of ice cream on the top. Indelicate and clumsy presentation but I couldn't shovel that goodness into my piehole fast enough.

[biakbiak]

33 minutes ago, ryebread said:

Most high end restaurants only give you a little shaving of ice cream on a desert like that. They should have asked for more.

My thing about the ice cream is it was so hard even when it got to the guests. They had to carve their spoons into the ice cream which is weird after a warm sauce. Also, the only way bananas foster should be served if it is served is at least flambeed table side.

[MrSmith]

Here's what I've got to say...

First, I think it was good of Bri to at least give Matt a shot. Sure, her initial reaction was that she probably wouldn't have chemistry with him. However, I can't fault her for at least going on a date and trying to get to know him better. After all, that's what dating is for, isn't it? (Or is that just so last century?)

Second, Matt's an idiot and a closeted douchebro. He should've known not to drink so much beer before the date. Once he did, he should've known to drink very little whiskey while on the date. I don't fault him for taking her to a nude beach since he says he did not know it was a nude beach. Also, it appears that he didn't have a way to know it was a nude beach. Now, if either of those things aren't true, then I'll fault him for taking her there.

Third, I can't fault Nico for being pissed at the captain for bringing a boatswain in. If the captain would have communicated this to the crew, then it wouldn't be so bad. But when you're blind-sided by it, yeah, you're going to be pissed. The captain really dropped the ball here.

Fourth, I can't fault the captain for bringing a boatswain in. Nico wasn't doing a good job of training his crew and he wasn't really demanding very much of them. My experience on a ship is that your ass gets run ragged while you're learning and, once you know what you're doing, your schedule gets a bit lighter and more predictable.

Fifth, it's spelled "boatswain" and pronounced "bosun".

Sixth, if I were on-board that boat, I would be Jen's puppy dog. Yes, she could complain a bit less and just do the work. However, she's cute, has pretty hair, and a rockin' body. I would do anything she asked me to at any time of the day and all she'd have to do is ask nicely. And that's even if she didn't go on a date with me (or if it were one-and-done).

Seventh, I can't wait for Chris to get fired. I may have to celebrate when that happens. As for him being forced to sleep in the crew mess, them's the breaks. He's the lowest ranking crew member and there aren't enough bunks for the crew they've got. He's the lowest ranking because he's both green and because he's a lazy slacker. The laziness is what makes him rank below the other greenies on the deck crew.

Edited October 5, 2017 by MrSmith

[Mindthinkr]

^^^ I agree pretty much with everything except number 6, but then again, I am a woman.