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All Episodes Talk: Small World, Big Lives


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Culture Check: How can the tropes and stereotypes we apply to TV personalities impact our fellow posters, and how do we remain mindful of these effects while discussing them? Please review for more on stereotypes and tropes.

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Culture Check: How can we express our opinions and consider the effect our assumptions may have on the people around us? What impact might speculation have on others, especially when we speculate about children or complex issues like neurodiversity?

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Sunnybebe - it's not a real business and she didn't make a cent. It's like the wedding business as well. For Matt and Amy to actually run a wedding business or a bed and breakfast, they would have to comply with commercial building codes and laws. No one who had a  wedding on Roloff Farms paid a cent for the venue. Matt and Amy were essentially holding a private party on their property and allowing it to be filmed in order to have something to film. By filming it for a private party and not accepting payment, they're skirting the local laws about such businesses. So Matt's brilliant wedding business (which essentially went defunct two years ago anyway) never made any money and was never a real business. And Amy's adventures in "glamping"? Were her friends enjoying a night of camping and a free meal for filming.

That Matt chose to merrily snark on how stupid the idea was and how Amy was a dumbass for having no idea what the profit margins were was yet again, Matt taking the time to publically shit on his wife with a bold face lie - he's an executive producer of the show, he knows that they can't really open a B&B without major changes, he knows Amy is doing it for the cameras so that there's a story since Matt himself is still in recovery, and yet Matt decided the best use of his time was to note how he thinks its dumb.

Which is how Matt treats his family and always has. I personally am still waiting for Matt to stand up like the man he claims to be and detail out the new evidence he publically claims to have that would exonerate his buddy Camerino as Matt Roloff has publically stated that the local authorities have falsely convicted Camerino of drug possession. When a man makes that kind of statement, accusing others of major integrity issues, he needs to back up his ugly accusations with actual facts... and of course has not.

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OK...we all know none of the Roloffs are exactly Rhodes Scholars, and their vocabulary is...shall we say, "Limited"? "Provincial"? "Elementary"?  So, they need to look up definitions of words if they want to use them and be taken seriously.  There is big difference between 'glamping', a B&B, and a campsite.  What Amy and her kids set up looked nice and sweet, but more like a dude ranch or rustic resort experience vs. a B&B.  And while I have never been glamping, I have seen examples of it in magazines and on TV.  THIS is glamping! Hell, I'd even get into a tent if it looked like that!

IMG_0430.PNG

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If I heard the term "B&B" one more time I was going to scream.  That is not a B&B.  It was camping, just camping.  No sleeping bags, but those were cots with a quilt thrown on.  It was nice, don't get me wrong, but it's not a B&B.  Also, never have I heard of a B&B serving you dinner as part of the deal.  A B&B is a comfortable place to rest your bones overnight, with use of indoor facilities, and then a cooked breakfast in the morning, with the breakfast typically being the highlight of the culinary activity.  

I did hear the preview of the next episode playing on the TV last night.  Something about survivalist plans on Roloff Farms.  And then moron Mr. Malaprop Matt mentions that he's bringing in ship containers so the "whole family" has someplace to go in case of emergency.  He states something about this being the place where they all go to "conjugate".  Well that certainly got my attention, and I don't think he was talking about verbs.  I wonder if he researched the profit margin on that activity!

Edited by beeziebee
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It had some nice things about it, but her 'lamping'? endeavor was not very well thought out. It seemed thrown together at the last minute with a little help. And the guy said there was no shower or bathroom - what did they do, pee by the trees there?  I wasn't very impressed but then again I do agree it was a (maybe quickly done) story line.

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I admit a certain curiosity about the survival bunker plans. But then I used to love watching the crazy on Doomsday Preppers (Nothing against preppers, I prep myself, but it attracts a lot of crazy stuff). If Matt is doing an underground storage container bunker... that is rather expensive but since he's likely getting it as a trade out, there's probably no cost involved. I just wonder if it will be plopped on the farm where it will slowly devolve like other things - remember the water mill? The indian lodge? The wine cellar?

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sooooo not one picked up on the little dig Matt said about his kids???

When talking to Tori, he asked her how many kids they were going to have.  She said Zach wants 4, she wants 2. And they will likely meet in the middle.  Matt said "yea you don't want 4.... then you're likely to end up with one bad apple"

Dude... you have 4 kids!!!!  Dig at Jacob?

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35 minutes ago, gunderda said:

sooooo not one picked up on the little dig Matt said about his kids???

When talking to Tori, he asked her how many kids they were going to have.  She said Zach wants 4, she wants 2. And they will likely meet in the middle.  Matt said "yea you don't want 4.... then you're likely to end up with one bad apple"

Dude... you have 4 kids!!!!  Dig at Jacob?

That's what I immediately thought. I was surprised he said that on camera.

I was a tad annoyed he made it seem like he was out with Tori because they get along well & he wanted to spend some time with her, when he wanted/needed her help with kids for the book, so it was sort of a 'business' lunch he actually had in mind... along with possibly a setting up for the pregnancy announcement.

He also told Amy Tori will make a great mother someday; Amy added that both Tori AND Audrey will make great mothers. No matter what anyone thinks of the latter, they're talking on camera about their kids & DIL's, so just my opinion, but I'd be more careful about my speech if I were him.

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56 minutes ago, Willowsmom said:

What if it wasn't Jacob he was talking about but Jer? After all he went to a buy-a-degree school and failed as a photographer.

I thought that too - after all Jer only comes with the cameras are filming and he might be on matt's shit-list for not wanting to help on the farm immediately.

But I'm sure all of them are like huhhhhh? am I the bad apple???

Except molly - she's the only girl, doing great in life so all the brothers are probably like f-her, she's the favorite obviously lol

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On 12/14/2016 at 0:13 AM, Awfarmington said:

I think it was the last episode or a recent one for sure, where Matt basically insinuated Jeremy was into the family business and Zach wasn't so much. Maybe I'm totally off, but it seems like Zach is there doing crapwork that need to get done. And Jeremy only stops by to do a little work on camera. 

Btw, do Zach and Tori have regular jobs? I think Jeremy and Audrey make a living telling old people how to have a successful marriage. The girl child has a legit job. And the youngest probably sells weed to the farm help. But if Zach and Tori work, I must have missed it? 

Yeah Tori is a teacher.  She said in a recent ep that it was nice to have the Summer off, to spend more time with Zach.

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On 11/29/2016 at 8:21 PM, BusyOctober said:

 

It's great that Amy is trying to stretch her social circle and get into the dating scene.  I just wish one of her girlfriends would tell her she looks like a big mouth bass when she eats.  <shudder> I could never sit next to or across from her for a meal.

so it bothers you too ;) blech

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On 12/14/2016 at 2:05 PM, galax-arena said:

How times have changed. I haven't watched the show since the twins were half-assing it at community college - whatever Roloff stuff I bitch about now usually has to do with their Internet presence and other people's hilarious recaps lol - so my last impression of Zach is what a lazyass he was. Don't get me wrong, I hated Jeremy more even then, but Zach was still just kinda... pathetic. There was this ep when Zach was getting ready for school and Amy had made breakfast. Zach took the plate and just sat there like a lump, grunting that he needed a fork, so Amy got him a fork. It was a small moment, but I remember thinking, "Dude, really? You're a senior in high school and you can't get your own damn fork?" It's funny how certain ultimately inconsequential scenes will just stick in your head. It was a stupid fork, who cares, right? But I kept thinking that even the world's laziest teenager should be able to get their own fork. 

Back then, Molly seemed like the most likable Roloff kid. (Jacob wasn't exactly likable, I think, but I felt sorry for him.) Now it turns out that Molly's obviously cut from the same anti-gay conservative Christian cloth as her hero Kirk Cameron and Jeremy, while Zach's done a 180 and is no longer a lazy sadsack lump of clay. No idea what his religious/political beliefs are, but he's not making passive-aggressive tweets and then whining about people reading into them the way Jeremy and Audrey do, and that's all I can ask. 

I agree with you about the 180 Zach has done. I think Tori has a lot to do with that.  She's the best thing that ever happened to him.

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On ‎12‎/‎9‎/‎2016 at 9:20 AM, beeziebee said:

Ok, am I the only one who thought that whole mouth piece game was really gross?  I sort of understand how something like that could possibly, maybe fun, but there was just something so weird about observing this group of people doing it.  It was just really uncomfortable to watch, especially on top of all the awkwardness that was Amy being in the doublewide after her long internal debate as to whether to go, and then Matt's typical attention-getting reaction to her coming.  

Maybe it's just me, but I think that game is gross.  I don't need to see the gingiva of my family and friends, so very close up.  Ugh.

They shared the mouthpiece? No. Nononononono. Who would invent that game? Why would buy it? No.

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On ‎12‎/‎14‎/‎2016 at 2:44 PM, galax-arena said:

Good on Tori, then. Hope those two crazy kids make it.

On the other hand, I can't wait for Jeremy and Audrey's messy divorce, hopefully before any innocent kids are brought into the mix.

Audrey will make herself an anchor baby before she leaves him.

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My wife (aka "The Joker") found Amy's cookbook at a yard sale: 50 cents, like new. She got it down to 25 cents ("Real easily," she says), bought it, wrapped it and gave it to me on my birthday. You can imagine the joy.

In fact, the book is a barrel of laughs for those—like us—who have watched the show from the first.

Amy starts right out, growling at packaged and processed foods: "I will never feed my family processed, prepared meals . . . those foods belong in a science lab, not on the dinner table." So Constant Viewer (that's us) feels almost unkind recalling the canned cake icings, the bottled pasta sauces, the bagged salads, the white Wonder Bread slices laid out and slathered with Miracle Whip and topped with lunch meats. That's just the start of a list . . . .

Amy knows the value of a good breakfast: ". . . the most important meal of the day . . . there's something about the start of a new day and a tummy filled with good food." Now, Constant Viewer begins to wonder about this book. Weren't there uncounted episodes—years of them, in fact—picturing the kids wandering the kitchen, bowls of cold cereal in hand? Yes, there were.

Amy concedes that she was forced to write this book—her fans would just not shut up: ". . . reaching out to me for recipes they saw me make on the show . . . viewer recipe requests piled up . . . people just liked watching me cook . . . " Well, Constant Viewer has one quick point of advice for those fans: EVERY cake mix comes with instructions right on the back of the box. Duh! Learn to read, morans. And quit bothering Amy.

Finally, just for the sake of recent irony, we note that Amy includes a smoothie recipe. It features two bananas(!) and five and a half cups(!!) of other stuff, and serves one(!!!). Thoughtfully, Amy includes hints about how to manipulate your blender to be sure that everything gets mixed. Constant Viewer IS NOT making this up.

Here's my point: What Amy expects me to believe about her is bad enough, but worse is what she expects me to forget. 

I have huge respect for those who devote thousands of hours to learning and perfecting a skill—cooking, carpentry, medicine, teaching: anything that takes real work and real dedication. I know that Amy had a hard row to hoe as a youth and as a young woman, but that doesn't grant permission to grab at other people's skills and masquerade with them, as if the effort to learn them amounts to nothing.

Amy thinks that she can pole vault over the difficulties of learning, and declare herself finished. She's like the girl who sits by you in class and leans over to copy your answers on a test—then insists that she deserves the grade that your efforts have got her. She has no concept of fraudulence.

Amy's latest charade—as an innkeeper, this time—proves that she is no more qualified to run a business than she is to speak for diversity.

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There's a review here - https://spiritswander.blogspot.com/2012/09/review-of-amy-roloff-cook-book-short.html

That I wrote.

If you don't want to read it all, let me sum up. Its a good beginner cook book but some of the recipes were just unnecessary for normal people. Most of us figure out on our own how to make sandwiches. Most of the more difficult recipes are for things that, in watching the Roloff kids openly balk at anything that isn't basic food, I can't believe Amy ever actually served her children. The recipes themselves tend to be heavy on sugar and heavy cream, which I personally enjoy but I wouldn't call it light.

My very fair, ignore the Roloff aspect opinion? Its good for a raw beginner because it actually gets into what to have in the pantry and how to make side dishes. It's otherwise probably too beginner for most people. And the Roloff stuff was extremely light - pictures of the kids that were obviously done in one photo shoot, and quotes like "Molly loves this!" - there's no deep insights and while I know it was meant as a simple cookbook, do we really need recipes for smoothies?

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12 hours ago, ZoloftBlob said:

The recipe I loved the most was the "SuperBurger" one where the recipe was basically a list of condiments to put on the burger.

LOL. I had to look, and you're right. The list of condiments (ketchup, mustard, pickles and so on) is longer than the "recipe" itself.

And the recipe involves a whole package frozen french fries—possibly THE most processed food you will encounter on your road to Weight Watchers and the cardiologist.

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On 12/16/2016 at 9:41 PM, Celia Rubenstein said:

 

 

I would LOVE to hear more about Amy's cookbook if anyone cares to post more about it ... 

First, there is no mention of sanitation.

The book itself, as an item, is handsome. It is professionally designed and crisply printed (in China). Food is hard to photograph, and that task is done beautifully here; photos of the family, not so much. There are no shots of a cat on the counter.

Beyond that, I would call it pure fantasy. Everything in it is a direct opposite to the years of unsettling video that came before it.

Amy's parents write a foreword to describe how Amy assumed cooking duty for her family, her early trials and failures, and how a desire to write a cookbook had "lain dormant in the distant regions of her mind." 

Then Amy writes her introduction, and the real fun begins. First, she repeats the history her parents have already supplied. Then she moves on to make the same points over and over—sort of like "Matt could be paralyzed" repeated 43 times within 30 minutes, but here about her love for food and driven need to cook it for others. She makes thigh-slapping assertions. She admits the existence of cold cereal, but swats it coldly aside as emergency fuel only: She wouldn't dream of feeding her family anything but whole, wholesome and healthy unprocessed foods that she has cooked from scratch, with tender care and a joyful heart. Some of her recipes are so good that they are actually "coveted" by other people. Really. 

She paints a cloying picture of her noisy family gathered burbling around the breakfast and dinner tables—the center of their lives—devouring her special muffins and whatever other (healthy) treats she has invented for them—and which she now gladly shares with us. At some point, one of the young-uns is moved to bleat, "Mom, there is nothing like your cooking!" (probably a fact, but not meaning what Amy thinks it does).

I'm no expert about recipes, but my wife is. She says the recipes are competent, but that nothing in the book is original or can't be found elsewhere, like in a basic Betty Crocker or Good Housekeeping cookbook. She thinks the recipes are likely copied and given minor variations—substitute rosemary for the other guy's thyme, and it's "your" recipe. I would note that before the book appeared, no one ever saw Amy cooking any of this stuff on TV. Further, nothing in the book appears to involve real technique or skill; stir, heat, fry and serve.

My favorite: Cowboy Eggs. Take slices of bread, cut round holes in the center. Put slices into hot, buttered frying pan; toast one side. Flip. Break an egg into each hole. Flip after a while. And voila! (or viola! in Amyspeak): Cowboy Eggs!

"Mom, there is nothing like your cooking!"

So I return to the concept of pure fantasy. The book (which clearly is not written by Amy Roloff) is a sort of culinary Norman Rockwell painting concocted to pretend that years of contrary video doesn't exist, to play viewers as fools, and to make some money.

Edited by Mike p.
Typos
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Question for those of you with a copy of her cookbook...Does Amy include the nutritional value of the cat hair, or  include suggested substitutions for the trace amounts of kitty litter that land in any of her delectables made on her feline patrolled counters? 

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Wow.  Just when I thought I have heard the stupidest stuff come out of Matt's mouth..."we'll all conjugate here"???? "Prepperness "????  What the Hell? I hope Tori has complete control over the "edumacation" of the next generation of Rolloffs.  

I will say I agree that everyone should have a plan in case of emergency.  If anyone told me a cataclysmic event was imminent, and my only choice for survival would be hunkering down in a frickin Box O' Rolloffs, my plans would include (in no particular order); finding a rabid mama bear and poking her til she mauls me to ribbons, deeply inhaling the nuclear fallout plume, or surrendering to the hostile invading army/anal probing aliens/flesh eating zombies.  Any of those scenarios feels like it would be a kinder, gentler death over spending a nanosecond with Jerk, Odd, Matt and Amy's canned cuisine.

If Jerk and Matt were serious about prepping (I know...scripted tv show), wouldn't they rig up a ventilation system? How do they expect several humans and pets to breathe oxygen and not suffocate in that metal container?  Not to mention, they are burning candles for light, which also require oxygen to burn.  Idiots.

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1 hour ago, BusyOctober said:

Wow.  Just when I thought I have heard the stupidest stuff come out of Matt's mouth..."we'll all conjugate here"???? "Prepperness "????  What the Hell? I hope Tori has complete control over the "edumacation" of the next generation of Rolloffs. 

 

Did I hear a 'tusami' from Amy instead of tsunami?

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Does that twit Matt never research anything? There's a whole huge industry to get what you need for emergencies. Why a bucket instead of a composting toilet? Why no filtered ventelation system? And why not bury the container unless it's going away after filming. And Amy was right about canned food when you cannot cook. Brie cheese? Really Matt.

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9 hours ago, woodscommaelle said:

This show needs to be taken off the air. Or, in other words, woodscommaelle needs to have more self-control and JUST. STOP. WATCHING. ?

I thought there was a series (as opposed to season) finale years ago.  Luckily for all the wonderful people hear making the sacrifice to watch the show and report on it, I've been able to stay away.  Thank you all :-)

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" And why not bury the container unless it's going away after filming. " Well, clearly they aren't planning to really keep it. For all of Jeremy's "I'm a MAN" talk about how they were burying it and how his dick just gets hard as hell over the very idea of using the tractor, the reality is that they simply plopped that storage container down, left it totally above ground, and didn't conceal it in any meaningful way. I mean really, I get that Matt needs his projects but its getting a little sad. And Jeremy? You're getting a little old to play "forts" with your daddy and its increasingly sad that your career is being daddy's little fort building bitch. I suspect we didn't see much of Auj because it was so asinine.

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I have a really hard time with the way Matt uses words.  He usually screws up at least once or twice per (edited) episode.  I would love to see what's cut oit. It's no wonder he only lasted a few weeks in community college. 

And worst of all, he owns a pumpkin farm and cannot pronounce the word pumpkin correctly. It's puMPkin, shithead, not punnkin!!

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Did they only have 2 of those blue water containers?  I would think you'd want at least 4 of those...per person!!

That container is not airtight, so in the event of fallout probably would do no good, unless they completely buried it, then they would need some sort of ventilation.  They also need some video cameras, so they can see outside.  Not that stupid thing that Jeremy rigged up.   He's lucky it didn't hit Tori or Fauxdry on the head.  Dumbass.  If they're in that thing for weeks, what are they planning to do with waste?  In a real emergency, those electric lights won't work, so they need battery operated lanterns, and tons of batteries. There are just so many things wrong with their plan, I can't even list them all.  In a real emergency, they wouldn't be in that thing for days, they would be in it for months.  It's way too small, someone would break, and lose their mind in a week.

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On 12/15/2016 at 9:37 AM, ZoloftBlob said:

I admit a certain curiosity about the survival bunker plans. But then I used to love watching the crazy on Doomsday Preppers (Nothing against preppers, I prep myself, but it attracts a lot of crazy stuff). If Matt is doing an underground storage container bunker... that is rather expensive but since he's likely getting it as a trade out, there's probably no cost involved. I just wonder if it will be plopped on the farm where it will slowly devolve like other things - remember the water mill? The indian lodge? The wine cellar?

I think this is where he will "hide" Matt to get control of the farm.  No air?  No problem.

@Mike p.  Don't you just love a book you can hate?  Years and years of enjoyment, debate and ridicule.

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You know the little shelter was just fake for the show because if it was for real, Matt would have stored 50 cases of wine in it.  That would have been at the top of his list of provisions, way ahead of food and water. No way would Matt ever face the apocalypse without a buzz on. 

When they were looking at gas masks, did I hear Matt say he only wanted four?  I wonder who he intends to watch die on the floor, gasping for air. 

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1 hour ago, Celia Rubenstein said:

You know the little shelter was just fake for the show because if it was for real, Matt would have stored 50 cases of wine in it.  That would have been at the top of his list of provisions, way ahead of food and water. No way would Matt ever face the apocalypse without a buzz on. 

When they were looking at gas masks, did I hear Matt say he only wanted four?  I wonder who he intends to watch die on the floor, gasping for air. 

The masks are for Matt, Jer, Zach and Molly...that's it.

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Message added by Mod-LunarJester,

Culture Check: How can the tropes and stereotypes we apply to TV personalities impact our fellow posters, and how do we remain mindful of these effects while discussing them? Please review for more on stereotypes and tropes.

Guest

Culture Check: How can we express our opinions and consider the effect our assumptions may have on the people around us? What impact might speculation have on others, especially when we speculate about children or complex issues like neurodiversity?

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