S05.E13: Steven and Justin's Story, Part 1

[Toaster Strudel]

18 minutes ago, LuciaMia said:

Plus the way TLC is promoting it, like an episode of Americas Funniest Home Videos. Steve falling  off the back of a golf cart? Cue the audience laughter!

Oh, I will laugh.

[Thriftykins]

1 hour ago, Cherrio said:

I think its far more complex.   I think enablers have a pathology of their own and it could be for various reasons. They need to be needed, they want the person they are enabling to stay put or it puts them in a position of center of attention.   There are always the chubby chasers too.

I think we have seen many examples of this over the years.

I guess.  We could talk at length about it.  I have a close friend I care about very much. Thank goodness she leads a clean life, because I could totally see myself being an enabler for her.

[chickenella]

4 hours ago, DC Gal in VA said:

Now, has anyone come up with an appropriate drinking game for tomorrow night? I'm actually looking forward to Part 2 with equal parts dread and anticipation.

Any suggestions for what to drink and eat for the show? I'm thinking pizza and beer or wine. lol!

Two weeks ago for viewing the Ow ma legs repeat with my husband I was thinking of getting Chinese food, but the salt! I can't have a lot of salt and that stuff is loaded with it. I only have it once a year- for New Years Eve.

[DC Gal in VA]

1 hour ago, chickenella said:

Any suggestions for what to drink and eat for the show? I'm thinking pizza and beer or wine. lol!

Two weeks ago for viewing the Ow ma legs repeat with my husband I was thinking of getting Chinese food, but the salt! I can't have a lot of salt and that stuff is loaded with it. I only have it once a year- for New Years Eve.

Welllllll, since you mentioned it, at least regarding adult beverages, I really think this two-parter deserves its own signature cocktail. How about "Suffer, You Bastard!?" That's a riff on a cocktail called Suffering Bastard which, as far as ingredients go, is often concocted based on the whims of the bartender making it and how much he/she likes or hates the person they're making it for, LOL!

As for what to eat, like some here, I don't think I could even look at a pizza because of all the gross crap and drama by him and his dad with all that long distance ordering and Steven's video of himself on the internet wallowing on the floor covered/surrounded by slices of pepperoni pizza which, up until now, was my favorite. :-(

[BlazingBloomers]

Quote

2 hours ago, Cherrio said:

3 hours ago, Michael Stabosz said:

I think it's simple.  People want the people they love to be happy and hate to see them suffer.  Even if suffering is the best thing for them in the circumstances.

I think its far more complex.   I think enablers have a pathology of their own and it could be for various reasons. They need to be needed, they want the person they are enabling to stay put or it puts them in a position of center of attention.   There are always the chubby chasers too.

I think we have seen many examples of this over the years.

 

There are probably as many types of enablers as there are the enabled.  I can only speak my own truth...

I started by learning very young that I wasn't entitled to my own feelings.  When I was four I was upset about something, don't remember what it was but I told my mother I hated her.  I'm sure every kid does that at some point.  Instead of just telling me that I hurt her feelings and walking away for awhile till I calmed down she refused to speak to me for three days.  Once she started talking again I got another full day of "I don't know why I should talk to you.  You hate me."  I was four.

About a year later I was going out to play with some neighbor kids.  At the last minute my mom came up with some chore that needed to be done and I stamped my foot in frustration.  A loose tube in the TV fell onto the wiring and set the TV on fire.  The neighbors had to carry the TV outside before the house caught on fire.

That's just two examples of my immature attempts to speak my mind having catastrophic consequences.  There was also the unending litany of "You don't want to be selfish, do you?".  Selfish was the worst insult my mother could throw around.

Factor in years of perceived disappointment "Why did you only get 95 on your calculus test?" and you've created a real mess of a person.  This is someone who will work themselves sick trying to get that last 5% of approval who is also unable to speak up for themselves and set boundaries because their experience is that that always backfires horribly.

Fast forward many years and I was married to a man who had learned when he was young that throwing tantrums got him what he wanted.  Nothing physical just a lot of yelling.  I felt I couldn't be upset because my feelings didn't matter and I truly believed that if I had just tried harder he wouldn't be upset.  While it is happening you feel like a failure on such a basic level that it is hard to explain.  That's what I see with Lisa and James K.  She knows giving him the food will kill him but in the moment you really hate yourself because they are unhappy.  If you are fortunate enough to end up with a partner who is rational with realistic wants you'll be OK but that doesn't describe James K. or Steven Jr.  The best definition I ever heard for co-dependency was - taking someone else's temperature to see how you feel.

My husband also had many health issues so on top of everything else I was always ready to cut him some slack because he didn't feel well.  He's been gone for several years now and it took me a long time to realize that having health issues and being a jackass aren't mutually exclusive.  I don't doubt that Steven Jr. has true medical issues but all I see is a jackass that's going to exaggerate, lie, manipulate, scream, cry and whatever else he has to do to get what he wants when he wants it.

I agree with everyone who says we don't have the whole story on Steven Sr. and Steven Jr. but distance doesn't matter when it comes to co-dependency.  There were times that I was hundreds of miles away from home and my husband would call and go off about something.  I guarantee that if calling and ordering a pizza would have shut him up I would have done it.

[Calicocats]

I think being a caretaker in the family of origin can influence this sort of thing.  I mean,  a normal 600 lb person,  not some monster like Steven.  I remember in an earlier season one husband commented that his dad got into a fairly serious accident when he was young , and he took care of the dad.  He transitioned into adulthood by caretaking to an overweight person.  

Of course, I was a caretaker growing up, and I'm not on the show, so everyone is different.

Steven falling in the hospital?  Can you imagine?  I'm not joking, I would be afraid for people's lives if that happened.  He is a maniac.  No doubt he could turn combative in a heartbeat.  I think Justin could tell us horror stories.

Edited April 4, 2017 by Calicocats

[Hockeymom]

10 minutes ago, DC Gal in VA said:

Welllllll, since you mentioned it, at least regarding adult beverages, I really think this two-parter deserves its own signature cocktail. How about "Suffer, You Bastard!?" That's a riff on a cocktail called Suffering Bastard which, as far as ingredients go, is often concocted based on the whims of the bartender making it and how much he/she likes or hates the person they're making it for, LOL!

As for what to eat, like some here, I don't think I could even look at a pizza because of all the gross crap and drama by him and his dad with all that long distance ordering and Steven's video of himself on the internet wallowing on the floor covered/surrounded by slices of pepperoni pizza which, up until now, was my favorite. :-(

Ok - LOVE the "Suffer You Bastard". I would add that every time you take a sip, you toast the screen and say the name with increasing ferocity as the night wears on. This will be my drink!!

As for food. I really love pizza, but the sight of greasy Steven rolling in greasy pizza has me feeling queasy. However, since pizza is the theme, how about Stromboli? Tastes like pizza with no disturbing visual association. Or how about Cheese Steak Stromboli? Or Hoagie Stromboli? or Ham and Ricotta?

17 minutes ago, BlazingBloomers said:

The best definition I ever heard for co-dependency was - taking someone else's temperature to see how you feel.

This is brilliant!

[fliptopbox]

6 hours ago, MichelleTX said:

I was on dilaudid when I was in the hospital after my vertical sleeve gastrectomy and I walked the halls a lot (I also had a fall risk band on) I was hooked up to it and could push a button for more every 10 minutes or so. Good stuff!! Haha 

Maybe I was allowed to leave my room anytime I wanted to walk because my husband was with me and I wasn't as large as Steven (under 300lbs). 

I had a gastrojejunostomy/duodenojejunostomy (basically stomach and intestinal surgeries) last year and was on a Dilaudid pump for 10 days and I was allowed to walk the halls by myself. No walker either. But I only weigh like 120lbs. I was also not considered a fall risk. Funny story while I was hospitalized too....I was NPO (no food/drink) and my boyfriend had come to visit so we went down to the cafe. I guess I had positioned my IV pump behind a pillar and as my man was sitting there eating I was all drooling over his food saying it looked really good and I guess some women at another table overheard me, didn't see the IV pole so I guess they assumed my boyfriend was being an asshole and just not buying me food. We ran into them at the elevators and that's when the one woman was like "OMG now I get why you weren't eating!!" I had a good laugh about it. But seriously, being NPO for over a week sucks ass. I was amazed at how quickly people on this show are allowed to eat, even if it's just broth and jello. I was lucky to get cough syrup cap sized cups of water to sip on.

[DC Gal in VA]

53 minutes ago, Hockeymom said:

Ok - LOVE the "Suffer You Bastard". I would add that every time you take a sip, you toast the screen and say the name with increasing ferocity as the night wears on. This will be my drink!!

As for food. I really love pizza, but the sight of greasy Steven rolling in greasy pizza has me feeling queasy. However, since pizza is the theme, how about Stromboli? Tastes like pizza with no disturbing visual association. Or how about Cheese Steak Stromboli? Or Hoagie Stromboli? or Ham and Ricotta?

This is brilliant!

Tee hee Hockeymom, so glad that you're on board with this! I don't have any kind of extensive bar full of ingredients, so I'll just have to go with what I got which will be a vodka martini and, unlike James Bond, it will stirred not shaken, as a proper martini should be.

As for food, the closest thing to pasta that I have on hand are ramen noodles, LOL, so no Italian theme for me. Hope we can get more folks here on board with this. If so, as the evening wears on, the posts will probably become very, very interesting, to say the least!

Edited April 4, 2017 by DC Gal in VA
To correct typo.

[Hockeymom]

7 minutes ago, DC Gal in VA said:

Tee hee Hockeymom, so glad that you're on board with this! I don't have any kind of extensive bar full of ingredients, so I'll just have to go with what I got which will be a vodka martini and, unlike James Bond, it will stirred not shaken, as a proper martini should be.

As for food, the closest thing to pasta that I have on hand are ramen noodles, LOL, so no Italian theme for me. Hope we can get more folks here on board with this. If so, as the evening wears on, the posts will probably become very, very interesting, to say the least!

I can go with vodka, but I'm still gonna say "Suffer, You Bastard" every time I take a sip.

[fliptopbox]

I'm down with the Steven Jr. drinking game. So what are the rules exactly? Drink every time he freaks out? Every time he does that creepy smirk when they give him drugs? I definitely vote chug when he falls off the golf cart. I am out of vodka currently, so beers will have to do.

[AZChristian]

The only thing I can eat while watching this show is celery - because I know it won't appear on the screen being eaten by the patient.

[Hockeymom]

9 minutes ago, AZChristian said:

The only thing I can eat while watching this show is celery - because I know it won't appear on the screen being eaten by the patient.

You're probably safe with a salad too.

[Azubah]

1 hour ago, Hockeymom said:

You're probably safe with a salad too.

Oh no, we've seen plenty of salads, all buried in cheese and drowned in salad dressing.

[DEG9]

Hospitals, and the medical community in general, are not all created equal as far as medication is concerned. It is up to individual state regulations, as well as insurance companies as to what and how some conditions are handled.  In many cases it makes absolutely no sense how they choose who gets what, and why.

One thing to know - cellulitis is an extremely painful condition, and one that all of the people on this show have exhibited as a result of their extreme conditions, but it's probably just part of the background pain levels. 

Btw, I do not feel that dad is abusive. He is an enabler, and, as far as Justin is concerned, emotionally neglectful. If anything, I would say dad's a Beta to Steven's Alpha, and is basically no kind of parent for either boy. Still not watching part 2.

[Hockeymom]

41 minutes ago, fliptopbox said:

I'm down with the Steven Jr. drinking game. So what are the rules exactly? Drink every time he freaks out? Every time he does that creepy smirk when they give him drugs? I definitely vote chug when he falls off the golf cart. I am out of vodka currently, so beers will have to do.

I like creepy smirk, but there have been some great suggestions so far. I am up for whatever. We have a day to decide!

I wonder if the mods will let us post pictures of our cocktails and food?

[Toaster Strudel]

47 minutes ago, fliptopbox said:

I'm down with the Steven Jr. drinking game. So what are the rules exactly? Drink every time he freaks out? Every time he does that creepy smirk when they give him drugs? I definitely vote chug when he falls off the golf cart. I am out of vodka currently, so beers will have to do.

The way I'm playing it is shouting "suffer you bastard" until my voice is too hoarse to speak!

[Cherrio]

Place your orders now.    :)

 

[Thriftykins]

1 hour ago, AZChristian said:

The only thing I can eat while watching this show is celery - because I know it won't appear on the screen being eaten by the patient.

Celery is not actually food.  It's actually a member of the plywood family.  Its purpose is for getting ranch dip into your mouth.

[gardendiva]

I need to get my hands on some of this...

 

[CatherineM]

I'm not going to have pie. 

[DC Gal in VA]

1 hour ago, fliptopbox said:

I'm down with the Steven Jr. drinking game. So what are the rules exactly? Drink every time he freaks out? Every time he does that creepy smirk when they give him drugs? I definitely vote chug when he falls off the golf cart. I am out of vodka currently, so beers will have to do.

Gee fliptopbox I don't have a clue so I'm open to anything you all come up with! 

Oh damn, the GOLF CART, completely forgot about that!!! I think that scene deserves a whole drink all by itself.

If I had gin, white tequila, white rum, and triple sec in addition to the vodka, I'd do a Rhode Island Ice Tea in honor of that state for kicking his sorry ass to the curb!

 

 

49 minutes ago, Cherrio said:

Place your orders now.    :)

 

Hmmmmm, I just noticed that you have the perfect name for this game Cherrio!

 

 

Edited April 4, 2017 by DC Gal in VA
To delete image I previously posted.

[AZChristian]

9 minutes ago, Michael Stabosz said:

Celery is not actually food.  It's actually a member of the plywood family.  Its purpose is for getting ranch dip into your mouth.

And peanut butter.

[Hockeymom]

DC Gal in Va, love the graphic!

How'd you do that? I'm not especially tech savvy, so please explain it to me like I'm a toddler.

1 minute ago, AZChristian said:

Celery is not actually food.  It's actually a member of the plywood family.  Its purpose is for getting ranch dip into your mouth.

Or stirring Bloody Marys

Edited April 4, 2017 by Hockeymom

[fliptopbox]

5 minutes ago, Hockeymom said:

Or stirring Bloody Marys

Mmmmm, Bloody Marys.

[Hockeymom]

2 minutes ago, fliptopbox said:

Mmmmm, Bloody Marys.

Yes (moaning wistfully), with plenty of horseradish, and maybe a shrimp on the skewer.

I can see I'm gonna have to do a liquor store run.

[DC Gal in VA]

Anybody know how to post a countdown clock?. I tried but a techie I am NOT! Thought it would be fun to show an active countdown to the Part 2 episode.

[AZChristian]

Never mind.

[DC Gal in VA]

13 minutes ago, Hockeymom said:

DC Gal in Va, love the graphic!

How'd you do that? I'm not especially tech savvy, so please explain it to me like I'm a toddler.

Or stirring Bloody Marys

Oh I just downloaded an app from Google Play and followed the screen instructions. I mean that thing is ticking down right now. I am totally not tech savvy either but I got it to work on my Android tablet. However, all I could get when I tried to post it here was a jpg (still) image.  Aaarrrggh!!! 

[fliptopbox]

Countdown clock

 

I can't link the actual countdown into the post...but if anyone else knows how to it's there.

[xwordfanatik]

48 minutes ago, gardendiva said:

I need to get my hands on some of this...

 

I'm all in for this!  The name says it all.

[TurtlePower]

Ya know, I think Steven may have even ruined pizza for the Ninja Turtles................."Pizza? No way dudes. You see that guy on My 600 lb life?"

[fliptopbox]

Dunno if this will work. I haven't coded anything in over a decade.

 

Meh, I tried.

Edited April 5, 2017 by fliptopbox
failed code

[OSM Mom]

On 4/1/2017 at 5:39 PM, TicketToHellPaid said:

Was that nasty green stuff on his legs mold? Lumpy amd thick and hilly mold?

 

and this, referencing the pic, is this 20 years of sh*t accumulating on his shorts?

 

We were hoping to God it was a tie dyed thing. Anything else was too Godawful to comprehend. 

I'm a recovering alcoholic (17 years sober!), so I'll be having coffee instead of booze tomorrow night.  And I actually had pizza tonight. Thin crust mushroom and spinach. I enjoyed it but will never eat pepperoni again. 

[fliptopbox]

2 minutes ago, OSM Mom said:

We were hoping to God it was a tie dyed thing. Anything else was too Godawful to comprehend. 

Looks more like bleach stains to me. Where does one find shorts that large?

[gardendiva]

27 minutes ago, fliptopbox said:

Looks more like bleach stains to me. Where does one find shorts that large?

Looks like the environmental artist Christo, known for covering large items with fabric, might have been hired to make them. Here is another example of his work:

 

Edited April 5, 2017 by gardendiva
Explain better who Christo is

[DC Gal in VA]

Okay, so for food tomorrow night I'm goin' off the lower carb rails and having a bacon cheeseburger AND fries! *** Please, please, please Steven don't you dare switch from pepperoni pizza to bacon cheeseburgers and ruin the experience for me ***

[aliya]

On 4/3/2017 at 0:59 PM, Hockeymom said:

 I heard him say several times there would be dire consequences if dad didn't continually stop for food on the way to Texas. There has to be a reason why they all live in fear of his threats.

Steven isn't alone. How many of the enablers (Lisa for one) say that the obese person is hell to live with if they don't get what they want. We saw Steven's sh&t, who's to say that some of these other folks aren't as bad when it comes to their food? Even Chad, who was a relatively decent guy, admitted to being a pain when he didn't get what he wanted. Apparently, that's what these people do - I don't think they all have a reason, such as abuse, for making people live in fear. It's who they are and what they want is more important than anything else. If they had any self control, they wouldn't be 600 lbs.

And I'm going to say it again - where is the moral compass in these people? Plump, overweight, OK, we all have struggles, but none of these people seem to tell themselves that there is something wrong with their moral compass to give into every whim and to berate people around them to get what they want. 

Just to show that my own moral compass can use adjusting from time to time, when Tracey's husband said she had 4 boxes of chocolate, she was quick to say they were the little 4 piece boxes. I knew exactly what she meant. I used to buy those little boxes to give to guest speakers in my classes. I'd buy a bunch at the beginning of the term and darned if I didn't have to replace them, sometimes more than once, before the term was over. What can I say? They're small...

[fliptopbox]

1 hour ago, Hockeymom said:

Yes (moaning wistfully), with plenty of horseradish, and maybe a shrimp on the skewer.

I can see I'm gonna have to do a liquor store run.

I may have to as well, because now I really really want one.

[ShoePrincess]

2 hours ago, gardendiva said:

I need to get my hands on some of this...

 

Perfect!

[Ocean Chick]

38 minutes ago, aliya said:

where is the moral compass in these people

I'd venture to say that they were born without one.

[ShoePrincess]

I haven't watched. Yet. I was so repulsed by James, I wasn't ready for an even bigger waste of oxygen. But I do love some good snark and a drinking game - plus I need some motivation for my Thursday morning workout - so here I am. I've pre-soaked my panties with high octane and have all the ingredients on hand for some Georgia O'Keeffe cocktails. Cheers!

[Tabbygirl521]

There's addiction running through my mom's side of the family and she saw some bad stuff growing up. Her first adult advice to me was, "Never trust a junkie; they will do ANYTHING." I think Steven and his ilk of super addicted overeaters may be just as ruthless as the kinds of junkies my mom had witnessed. They pretty much do the same beg/borrow/steal/manipulate routine. 

[bethster2000]

58 minutes ago, Tabbygirl521 said:

"Never trust a junkie; they will do ANYTHING."

And "how can you tell a junkie is lying?  Their lips are moving."

Save a seat for me on that speeding wagon to hell.  I can't wait for part two.

5 hours ago, Hockeymom said:

Yes (moaning wistfully), with plenty of horseradish, and maybe a shrimp on the skewer.

 

I like mine served with pickles.

Edited April 5, 2017 by bethster2000

[Nancypants]

I thought it was very telling that as soon as Dr. Now told Steven that he was a drug addict , and was being sent to rehab the FIRST thing out of MossMonsters overworked mouth was " give me a refill on my pills"! 

Some folks are beyond salvation., sad to say.

[Nancypants]

There is Literally a wine called Fat Bastard. Its actually rather good. 

[lovesnark]

9 hours ago, Tabbygirl521 said:

There's addiction running through my mom's side of the family and she saw some bad stuff growing up. Her first adult advice to me was, "Never trust a junkie; they will do ANYTHING." I think Steven and his ilk of super addicted overeaters may be just as ruthless as the kinds of junkies my mom had witnessed. They pretty much do the same beg/borrow/steal/manipulate routine. 

Decades long history of alcoholism and addiction in my family, too. My favorite line was learned from the woman leading group during the family program at our son's rehab facility. "An alcoholic will steal your wallet and lie about it. A junkie will steal your wallet and then help you look for it." But, we know Steven wouldn't get out of bed to help you look for the wallet or pills he stole. He'd just threaten to call the cops if you didn't order him half a dozen pizzas as a chaser.

[Nancypants]

Is anyone else scared for part 2?

On what planet are the police going to take this Monster seriously? Dad is stupid to be intimidated by this. Also, Dad? Don't answer when he calls. Its not that difficult to comprehend.

[Cherrio]

27 minutes ago, Nancypants said:

Is anyone else scared for part 2?

On what planet are the police going to take this Monster seriously? Dad is stupid to be intimidated by this. Also, Dad? Don't answer when he calls. Its not that difficult to comprehend.

The problem is nobody wants to deal with Steven, so the police and all others avoid or do whatever they can to stay away.    No cop is going to clean him or wipe his ass.    No nursing home will accept him for obvious reasons and also because he would require triple staff to care for him.

He is the Ted Bundy of food addicts.  Even the death penalty opponents wanted Ted dead.

[Nancypants]

Addicts don't have family , just hostages.