S05.E11: James K's Story

[Toaster Strudel]

I'm skeptical about the abuse reported from Lisa's first husband since she was having an affair for what was probably a whole decade with Ow-Mah-Legs, had two children from him that her "abusive" husband unwittingly raised until Ow-Mah-Legs decided to tell the kids who their real father was.  Maybe the "abusive" husband was rightfully pissed off.

[Elizabeth9]

10 minutes ago, KateHearts said:

Perhaps not. But here's what I've experienced (both are true stories):

-30-something man, in heart failure, morbidly obese. Has had heart surgery to save his life. Surgeon walks into his hospital room to find him eating fried chicken, brought in by his wife. Doc says, 'I thought we discussed your diet and that you need to lose weight in order to qualify for a heart transplant," to which patient replies, "I'm doing better doc; I used to eat a whole bucket of chicken and now I'm down to 3-4 pieces."

-50-something SURGEON who tells me she is struggling with her weight even though she'd been eating a "healthy" lunch- a filet o' fish from mcdonalds. Inference: it's fish, therefore it's healthy.

some do not understand...I stand by that. Others choose not to. Not for us to figure out which is which-the ending is the same and I go back to what I posted earlier. Not everyone can be fixed, either because they deny  their situation or the cards are not in their favor.

l

That's denial on the part of the surgeon.  Not a lack of understanding.  Two different things. She had the intellectual ability to understand that friend fish was not healthy.  She chosen not to.

Agree not everyone can be fixed- see the rest of my post.

Edited March 18, 2017 by Elizabeth9

[Lizz]

3 hours ago, operalover said:

The new GoFundMe

He is fat because of his thyroid, by the way

It's hard to read. Lisa never learned to put a space between a period and a new sentence.

There is a bottle of Dr. Pepper in the photo. 

 

https://www.gofundme.com/ezv9tkyc

Unbelievable to keep asking for money.  She's not deleting the comments fast enough though. 

I broke my foot a few months ago. I was pretty much the only person in the ER paying for my treatment (I couldn't help but hear talk around me.)  I worked the next day on crutches and have worked the past 2 years while having chemo treatments. I am all for helping people unable to help themselves or temporarily in difficult circumstances, but I've personally seen too many content to sit on their ass and let the rest of us work and pay. If that makes me a bad person, so be it. 

I can't wait to have an opportunity to use the gasoline soaked drawers comment in my life  Best ever!

[ScottMcG]

Hi Gang!

I just joined this forum based on this thread alone. You guys seem like a great group. Snarky...but funny. Mean...but not too mean. Plus, you seem to acutally be able to respect each other. I salute you!

My wife and I both enjoy watching M600PL. We both struggle with our weight and find this show motivating. 

This episode...wow. WOW. As so many others have said, I wanted to just shake some sense into both of them. 

SO Delusional. Clearly, they both have severe mental health issues. It reminded me a bit of seeing Shelly Duvall on Dr. Phil. They have a literal breach from reality.

How can they be reached? They can't seem to see any sort of "reality".

Two thoughts:

1. I (comically) pictured a "reality show crossover" for this guy. I pictured several other reality show hosts trying to deal with James. Some funny, some with actual potential. Jon Taffer from "Bar Rescue" would just shut it down. Gordon Ramsay would have a thing or two to say. Dr. Phil may have some success...hard to say. I think the best would be Ceasar Milan from "The Dog Whisperer" (a la the "South Park" episode where he helped Cartman). 

2. Someone really needs to create an edit of all the times James says, "Ah! Mah Leg!" (My wife and I keep saying that to each other all the time now. So wrong. So funny.)

Anyway, glad to be on the forum! Thanks for sharing!

[AZChristian]

9 minutes ago, KateHearts said:

Not everyone can be fixed, either because they deny  their situation or the cards are not in their favor.

I don't mean to sound cold, but if people choose to deny their situation, or they don't walk away from the table if the cards are not in their favor, is it really the responsibility of everyone else to bankroll them?  There ARE ways to improve one's life - stay in school, obey laws, don't eat 5 times what is needed.  If people choose to ignore every opportunity to improve their own situation, why is it our responsibility to continue to enable them?

[Toaster Strudel]

A gofundme for take out and delivery would be refreshingly honest at this point. "James is a child of God and likes french fries and huge unwrapped burgers and Chinese take out and he likes to leave room for dessert like cheese cake and lemon meringue pie please send $ thank you"

[KateHearts]

6 minutes ago, Elizabeth9 said:

That's denial on the part of the surgeon.  Not a lack of understanding.  Two different things. She had the intellectual ability to understand that friend fish was not healthy.  She chosen not to.

That's exactly what I said. Some do not understand... others choose not to.

[auntjess]

On ‎3‎/‎17‎/‎2017 at 8:55 AM, kgg said:

James didn't work for almost 2 decades - because of a poor economy?  Because of his weight?  Because he is lazy?  (Probably the last one.) 

I thought he'd worked with his father, on the farm. 

[Elizabeth9]

4 minutes ago, KateHearts said:

That's exactly what I said. Some do not understand... others choose not to.

Yeah, big difference though.  Zero sympathy for a surgeon who "pretends" to not know that a fucking friend fish sandwich from McDonalds, of all places, is unhealthy.  Like I say To my addict/codependent friends- you may choose to be in denial,  but don't expect me to pretend right along with you.

Edited March 18, 2017 by Elizabeth9

[KateHearts]

6 minutes ago, AZChristian said:

I don't mean to sound cold, but if people choose to deny their situation, or they don't walk away from the table if the cards are not in their favor, is it really the responsibility of everyone else to bankroll them?  There ARE ways to improve one's life - stay in school, obey laws, don't eat 5 times what is needed.  If people choose to ignore every opportunity to improve their own situation, why is it our responsibility to continue to enable them?

I don't think it *is* our responsibility to save them, much less bankroll the attempts. As I said earlier, I've seen people completely throw away the chances we've given them at improving or prolonging their lives. And I've also seen what some people may view as harsh- the decision made not to treat because the effort, resources, and time to do so are simply not worth it given the statistical odds that the person will survive or live a meaningful life.  It's a really hard thing for a medical provider to make the decision to stop trying to help someone. That's what we do;  it's in our nature and the purpose of our work. But again... not everyone can be fixed.

[operalover]

12 minutes ago, ScottMcG said:

Hi Gang!

I just joined this forum based on this thread alone. You guys seem like a great group. Snarky...but funny. Mean...but not too mean. Plus, you seem to acutally be able to respect each other. I salute you!

My wife and I both enjoy watching M600PL. We both struggle with our weight and find this show motivating. 

This episode...wow. WOW. As so many others have said, I wanted to just shake some sense into both of them. 

SO Delusional. Clearly, they both have severe mental health issues. It reminded me a bit of seeing Shelly Duvall on Dr. Phil. They have a literal breach from reality.

How can they be reached? They can't seem to see any sort of "reality".

Two thoughts:

1. I (comically) pictured a "reality show crossover" for this guy. I pictured several other reality show hosts trying to deal with James. Some funny, some with actual potential. Jon Taffer from "Bar Rescue" would just shut it down. Gordon Ramsay would have a thing or two to say. Dr. Phil may have some success...hard to say. I think the best would be Ceasar Milan from "The Dog Whisperer" (a la the "South Park" episode where he helped Cartman). 

2. Someone really needs to create an edit of all the times James says, "Ah! Mah Leg!" (My wife and I keep saying that to each other all the time now. So wrong. So funny.)

Anyway, glad to be on the forum! Thanks for sharing!

Welcome! I also loved Cesar Millan on South Park..OMG funniest thing ever! when they wouldn't give him the fried chicken! Gordon Ramsey would curse him out and then cook him up a freshly butchered farm raised pig-this is what you should eat  not oscar meyer fucking baloney you worthless pc of shit. Dr. Phil would be useless as usual....

[Lizz]

13 minutes ago, auntjess said:

I thought he'd worked with his father, on the farm. 

One of the pop-ups said that James had not worked in 18 years because of his weight. His father did say he missed James helping him on the farm but I don't know if they were referring to an actual place of employment 18+ years ago. 

I wouldn't be one bit surprised if they tried to get on Dr. Phil's show. 

Edited March 18, 2017 by Lizz

[auntjess]

23 hours ago, Lizz said:

Is it bad that I had to laugh that the largest donation is from a Mexican restaurant?  $304!  Do you think maybe he was their best customer?  More rice and beans for James!

From the odd amount, I figured they did a collection for him, and that's what they got. 
But yes, it was funny.

[frenchtoast]

Firstly, posters are allowed to disagree with the prevailing viewpoint and explain why they see it differently. There is a difference between attacking or lecturing and disagreeing and seeing something differently. 

Secondly no more discussion about who deserves the social safety net. Not only is it straying off topic, but it's bound to start a forbidden political discourse. 

[Kid]

I think I figured out what so infuriates me about James.  Many people have survived much worse childhoods then this man has known.  I being one of them. And, as such,  you start life behind the curve ball. You not only have to claw yourself out of the situation that you are raised in, but,  once out, you experience the greatest insults of all. You have to battle the behaviors that you learned by growing up in that situation.  Having done that  and having to continue to do that leaves me with very little patience for the perpetual victim.   

 I knew one man whose mother died when he was a boy, whose father was a drunk and used to take him into bars with him and had him watch while he had sex with prostitutes. The same man ended up in jail. In jail,  he was introduced Alcoholics Anonymous. He was uneducated -  I mean no education.  Learned how to read in jail.  He read  the big book of AA and AA changed his life.  He worked as a janitor for one of the AA groups  in the town that I lived in. He was paid and could live in the facility that he cleaned. I heard him speak at an open AA meeting one night and I don't think I was ever so inspired by anybody in my life.  I worked in the legal profession my entire career and I never met anybody that impressed me as much as this uneducated, unsophisticated  SURVIVOR.

So it does not take sophistication to get it, it does not education to get it, it takes the courage to take responsibility for your life and to be the best person you can be.  

Giving James money is like giving a heroin addict the heroin to shoot up. Because he will use it for food.

For the sake of argument, say he raises money in all these gofundme campaigns. Where do you think that money is going to go?   Why will that money have any inpact that is different from the zero impact of the opportunity that he was given by the TV show and by his father who refinanced his house to get him to Houston?

Edited March 18, 2017 by Kid

[Elizabeth9]

Why are they even soliciting money in the first place?  Such a sham?

[ethalfrida]

So, you all are saying James did not receive the operation? I always multitask when watching tv, mostly listening to it. What did I miss about the ending? 

But I know that neither of them are too bright. Or... somehow they think they are clever enough to scam the doctor and everyone else. 

[operalover]

7 minutes ago, Elizabeth9 said:

Why are they even soliciting money in the first place?  Such a sham?

Claims she needs money for medical equipment. "medical supplies, treatments, and anything that will help him stay in Texas". For one thing they are staying in Texas no matter what because he can't go anywhere else without a $10,000 ambulance ride. He is stuck there. He doesn't need anymore money to 'stay" there or live there than living anywhere else. 

It would help if she showed a photo of the equipment she was trying to buy and how much it costs. It's so vague. It sounds like she might be trying to buy a forklift to help turn him over. 

Edited March 18, 2017 by operalover

[gardendiva]

I would donate a case of duct tape as his "medical supplies"--to tape his mouth shut as it seems to be the one thing getting in the way of his weight loss.

[FCOL]

46 minutes ago, Toaster Strudel said:

A gofundme for take out and delivery would be refreshingly honest at this point. "James is a child of God and likes french fries and huge unwrapped burgers and Chinese take out and he likes to leave room for dessert like cheese cake and lemon meringue pie please send $ thank you"

He may also need cash for his Xbox One and PS4 games... or at least the yearly online subscription so he can get the 'free' games.  I wonder if he would sell his consoles and games for $300 if I offered to buy them.

[chopperchopperbell]

I was as horrified as everyone else watching this episode.  It was obvious that none of them were intelligent or educated.  They were trapped as much by poverty, abuse, and lack of education/intelligence, as they were by James and Lisa's poor choices.

I agree that to some extent I think Lisa was trying to hasten James' death.  I'm always perplexed as to how these people can afford all this food.  Even with food stamps it would be like trying to feed 10 people on a budget for 2.  None of these people work.  Their spouses don't work.  They're all leeching off the benefits of the disabled, which could be another reason no one seems incentivized to try too hard.

That being said---I very much agree with the person upthread who said that it is an eating disorder just like anorexia, but on opposite spectrums.  And it angers me that we'll work so hard to "save" the anorexics and bulimics, the alcoholics and drug addicts, but the morbidly obese are treated with prejudice and disgust.  I feel like hatred against fat people is the last socially acceptable form of prejudice.  What all these people need is the same as what any mentally ill or addict needs--long term hospitalization.  They need to be in a controlled environment where they can be monitored and have their food controlled, made to exercise, get psychological (and if needed, medical) help.  Even if they relapse, it would be no different than most addicts. 

As loathesome as some of these people can be, they are no more loathesome than the addicts on intervention.  There seems to be something inherently selfish and broken about these people.  And the morbidly obese deserve a chance, too.  People treat obesity as a weakness, as gluttonous behavior, instead of seeing it as the illness it really is.

I have struggled with obesity my whole life (not to that extent) and when I was finally diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes and put on Metformin, I lost 60 lbs.  For me, the blood sugar highs and lows were driving my weight gain.  So I do believe that in many of these people there may be physical problems as well as mental problems at play.  I just feel like they deserve the same dignity and chance for redemption as any addict/mentally ill/physically disabled person.

Edited March 18, 2017 by chopperchopperbell

[gardendiva]

I think the reason there is a lot of anger for the morbidly obese as the last socially acceptable prejudice is because (myself included) he pushes some buttons of self loathing within some of us. I see what I can become if I don't monitor my food intake, control my pleasure seeking impulses. He is like the "shadow self" of many of us--the worst expression of some deep impulses come to fruition. The ugliness enrages us.

[chopperchopperbell]

That is true.  I know as a fat person if I'm enjoying a burger at a restaurant, I get dirty stares from people (mostly women) eating salads (LOL).  I feel like they're jealous (and at the same time disgusted) that I'm eating something I'm enjoying, instead of feeling the need to deprive myself.

I do enjoy myself when I go out to eat, because I don't go out to eat very often.  But I always feel the judgment and I agree, it's probably because other people somehow feel they're exhibiting self-restraint, when I am not (because as I said, when I go out to eat I eat what I enjoy.  I only eat out once every few weeks, so if I want a burger, I'll eat a burger. With a side salad and water to drink :) ).

[MillieSparklepants]

46 minutes ago, Kid said:

I think I figured out what so infuriates me about James.  Many people have survived much worse childhoods then this man has known.  I being one of them. And, as such,  you start life behind the curve ball. You not only have to claw yourself out of the situation that you are raised in, but,  once out, you experience the greatest insults of all. You have to battle the behaviors that you learned by growing up in that situation.  Having done that  and having to continue to do that leaves me with very little patience for the perpetual victim.   

I missed part of the show where they gave his backstory. I heard about the alcoholic mother and the house fire, but was that it? That's not nothing, for sure, but doesn't seem on par with some of the other horrific abuses some of these patients have endured.

[AZChristian]

44 minutes ago, ethalfrida said:

So, you all are saying James did not receive the operation? I always multitask when watching tv, mostly listening to it. What did I miss about the ending? 

But I know that neither of them are too bright. Or... somehow they think they are clever enough to scam the doctor and everyone else. 

He did not get the surgery.  He continued to gain weight during the normal "you must lose weight" period.  Dr. Now went ballistic on him and kicked him out of the program.  Now they're stuck in Texas, because the only way he can go anywhere is in an ambulance, and they spend so much money on food they have no money for transport.

[okerry]

38 minutes ago, ethalfrida said:

So, you all are saying James did not receive the operation? I always multitask when watching tv, mostly listening to it. What did I miss about the ending? 

But I know that neither of them are too bright. Or... somehow they think they are clever enough to scam the doctor and everyone else. 

There was no way that someone who weighs 843 pounds, is in congestive heart failure, and has severely infected legs would survive any sort of major surgery. Zero chance. Dr. Now would have been sued for malpractice if he'd even tried to do bariatric surgery on James.

And as far as their money-raising attempts: It's exactly as someone upthread said. What good would money do James now? He GOT the money to go and get the best treatment available on the *planet* for someone in his condition. And he just literally pissed it away and did nothing with all that money and all that care, except to do all the things that would guarantee him to get worse - lie immobile in bed and shovel in as much food as possible.

Money will only go for more food, rent, more food, cable tv, and more food. Nothing else.

I'm sure these losers are desperately trying to get themselves on some other reality show right now. It's their only way to make this pay, because the truth is out there now.

What show would take them? I'm not even sure. Maybe Whitney Way Thore and her "No Body Shame" ought to go and have a visit with James for her show, because she's headed down the same path.

[auntjess]

21 hours ago, Tiger Lily said:

I watch Hoarders, Intervention and this show. I'm fascinated how life can beat people down and how they deal with it. I usually have empathy towards most of them, but this episode bothered the hell out of me. 

For the most part, I have more sympathy for the 600 lbers than the hoarders, with one exception.
The people on this show aren't spreading vermin through the neighborhood.

[okerry]

40 minutes ago, gardendiva said:

I would donate a case of duct tape as his "medical supplies"--to tape his mouth shut as it seems to be the one thing getting in the way of his weight loss.

And then nobody would have to hear him yell any longer, either. Just go in the next room and shut the door until time for his next 400-calorie meal - and nothing else.

[Wings]

I expect to hear of his death soon.  He is on the verge of an amputation, heart failure or systemic infection.  Aside from the cellulitis he has not bathed in years.   

Gasoline pants firmly in place, who gets him out of the house, is he too big to fit in the cremation furnace, who pays for it?  

[FCOL]

3 minutes ago, chopperchopperbell said:

That is true.  I know as a fat person if I'm enjoying a burger at a restaurant, I get dirty stares from people (mostly women) eating salads (LOL).  I feel like they're jealous (and at the same time disgusted) that I'm eating something I'm enjoying, instead of feeling the need to deprive myself.

I do enjoy myself when I go out to eat, because I don't go out to eat very often.  But I always feel the judgment and I agree, it's probably because other people somehow feel they're exhibiting self-restraint, when I am not (because as I said, when I go out to eat I eat what I enjoy.  I only eat out once every few weeks, so if I want a burger, I'll eat a burger. With a side salad and water to drink :) ).

James isn't wrong when he asserted life is meant to be enjoyed and if eating a lot, smoking, doing dangerous stunts make you happy, then by all means do them but don't bitch about it and beg for money later. 

 

l love cheesecake, and cheesesteak and fries and coke (Today's lunch), and donuts, but I'm lucky because I also like roasted brussel sprouts, asparagus, spinach, and kale. And I really, REALLY like walking and going to the restroom in privacy.  If you are comfortable with yourself and accept the consequences who can complain?  I think it's the people that don't accept the consequence, that demand they get what they want, and think everyone is obligated to comply and then blame those same people when things don't work out .... it's those people that I think people look down on. The people in the restaurant don't know you but it's possible they know someone like James (or are fighting their own demons) and that's why they are looking at you. Of course they could also be looking in your general direction not thinking about you at all, I try to always assume that, trying to read people I don't and will never know just seems like an effort in aggravation.

[jacksgirl]

On Thursday, March 16, 2017 at 9:43 AM, DC Gal in VA said:

 

Grrrr, can't get rid of quote box. Anyway,  I'd gladly give to the GofundMe account IF all money collected is used to hire home health aides to keep James on his diet, Lisa cannot do this. James would lose at least 150 pounds in a few months and qualify for surgery. That would be the best use of any finances for James. I'd love to see him try to bully a strict health care worker, I'd laugh and laugh as they served him 800 calories a day.

[Wings]

The gallery at the bottom of this page has some before and afters, some very impressive! 

http://www.intouchweekly.com/posts/my-600-lb-life-james-k-before-and-after-127951/photos/christina-phillips-600-lb-life-238610

[Arynm]

My problem with James is not that he is so obese that he can't get out of the bed. My problem with James is that he has had help from a myriad of people and places and has done nothing! He takes no responsibility for anything. If he wanted to change and lose weight, Lisa bringing him food would mean nothing because he would not eat it. James uses up the people and resources around him like tissue paper and then looks around for more. He has a team of people that fetch and carry nonstop for him.  It is a slap in the faces of the countless doctors, paramedics, nutritionists and nurses and countless others that have bent over backwards for him and he does NOTHING.

Edited March 18, 2017 by Arynm

[chopperchopperbell]

4 minutes ago, wings707 said:

The gallery at the bottom of this page has some before and afters, some very impressive! 

http://www.intouchweekly.com/posts/my-600-lb-life-james-k-before-and-after-127951/photos/christina-phillips-600-lb-life-238610

I always thought Amber was very pretty, even before the surgery.  She is a knockout now.  WTG Amber!

[Wings]

53 minutes ago, chopperchopperbell said:

I'm always perplexed as to how these people can afford all this food. 

They get pay from from TLC for their participation so that is what we see now.  Before the show, welfare, I suppose. 

[MillieSparklepants]

14 minutes ago, chopperchopperbell said:

I always thought Amber was very pretty, even before the surgery.  She is a knockout now.  WTG Amber!

Brittani looks great too! I'm so happy for her, she's a sweetheart and had such a good attitude. And speaking of knock-outs, wow Christina!!

Edited March 18, 2017 by MillieSparklepants

[Kid]

1 hour ago, chopperchopperbell said:

That being said---I very much agree with the person upthread who said that it is an eating disorder just like anorexia, but on opposite spectrums.  And it angers me that we'll work so hard to "save" the anorexics and bulimics, the alcoholics and drug addicts, but the morbidly obese are treated with prejudice and disgust.  I feel like hatred against fat people is the last socially acceptable form of prejudice.  What all these people need is the same as what any mentally ill or addict needs--long term hospitalization.  They need to be in a controlled environment where they can be monitored and have their food controlled, made to exercise, get psychological (and if needed, medical) help.  Even if they relapse, it would be no different than most addicts. 

I get what you're saying but that is not the source of the anger here. He is not disliked because there is prejudice against him because he's fat. He's disliked because he is doing nothing to help himself, while at the same time scrambling to get other people to do the job for him.  If he wants to stay in the bed and eat himself to death, that's his choice.  Just don't beg for money and don't have your dad re-finance his house to get you help and don't waste the resources that fell into your lap. That is the source of the anger, not the fact that he is fat.

I weighed 150 pounds is a teenager and that was in the 60s. Twiggy was the symbol of what was beautiful at the time.   I realize that 150 pounds doesn't seem like much but when 90 pounds was beautiful, it's all relative. So trust me, I understand being bullied because of your weight.

[DC Gal in VA]

2 minutes ago, jacksgirl said:

Grrrr, can't get rid of quote box. Anyway,  I'd gladly give to the GofundMe account IF all money collected is used to hire home health aides to keep James on his diet, Lisa cannot do this. James would lose at least 150 pounds in a few months and qualify for surgery. That would be the best use of any finances for James. I'd love to see him try to bully a strict health care worker, I'd laugh and laugh as they served him 800 calories a day.

Tee hee jacksgirl, ITA completely. Actually, if well paid, I would be happy to develop and cook a 1200 calorie per day low carb meal plan, although even a 1500 calorie a day diet would work for someone like James for sure IMHO. I am a pretty good cook and am currently doing my own version of a lower not low carb diet, everything made from scratch. Even doing a lower carb, which I believe is much tastier and more varied than a super low carb diet, I guarantee James would lose weight and the meals would be quite enjoyable.

With all due respect to physicians, fitness experts and nutritionists, a lot of their meal suggestions look (and taste) like gack to me. I am a proud foodie and frankly if I don't like what I am eating I ain't eating it let alone sticking with it month after month, which I truly think contributes to why a lot of people can't stick to their diets. You really can enjoy what you eat and lose weight.

Of course, I would need to be given absolute control over every morsel that goes into his mouth which would mean Lisa would have to be completely out of the picture. Let her and Bayley get outta there for a few months, get some well earned rest, definitely a lot of therapy, and dammit, have some fun.

And if boyfriend was stupid enough to try and bully sistah girl (me) into ordering him fraaaahd rice and egg rolls or making biscuits and grrrraaaavy, I would bust out so much DC on his ass it would make his considerably giant head spin!

[AdorkableWitch]

1 hour ago, chopperchopperbell said:

That being said---I very much agree with the person upthread who said that it is an eating disorder just like anorexia, but on opposite spectrums.  And it angers me that we'll work so hard to "save" the anorexics and bulimics, the alcoholics and drug addicts, but the morbidly obese are treated with prejudice and disgust.  I feel like hatred against fat people is the last socially acceptable form of prejudice.  What all these people need is the same as what any mentally ill or addict needs--long term hospitalization.  They need to be in a controlled environment where they can be monitored and have their food controlled, made to exercise, get psychological (and if needed, medical) help.  Even if they relapse, it would be no different than most addicts. 

I do wonder if Dr Now tried to get him admitted, but his insurance denied coverage. I know a friend from my eating disorder support group has bulimia, and had a severe episode last year. However, she is also overweight, and insurance would only allow her to go to an inpatient program until her electrolytes stabilized, which was two weeks. She relapsed again, and it was this same cycle for about 4 months.

It's damn near impossible to get insurance to pay for ED treatment unless you are severely underweight.

[chopperchopperbell]

9 minutes ago, Kid said:

I get what you're saying but that is not the source of the anger here. He is not disliked because there is prejudice against him because he's fat. He's disliked because he is doing nothing to help himself, while at the same time scrambling to get other people to do the job for him.  If he wants to stay in the bed and eat himself to death, that's his choice.  Just don't beg for money and don't have your dad re-finance his house to get you help and don't waste the resources that fell into your lap. That is the source of the anger, not the fact that he is fat.

I weighed 150 pounds is a teenager and that was in the 60s. Twiggy was the symbol of what was beautiful at the time.   I realize that 150 pounds doesn't seem like much but when 90 pounds was beautiful, it's all relative. So trust me, I understand being bullied because of your weight.

I understand what you are saying, but to me it's no different than an alcoholic or drug addict who can't abstain.  As a society we can feel compassion when an alcoholic or drug addict (or anorexic) are relapsing and struggling.  When it comes to obesity it is simply seen as a personal weakness.  All of the above are exhibiting poor judgment and selfish behavior, but there is no compassion for the guy who is eating too much food.

[Tabbygirl521]

4 hours ago, Granny58 said:

Some restaurants have childrens or senior meals.  They are smaller and usually enough.  

So I just looked this up.  So gross.  But it did mention that part of the treatment was elevation of the affected limb, which reminded me - while he was spending years in his bed it didn't look like he had any elevation at all!!!  Even dopey ole' me knows better than that!  Surely a medical professional (and he surely has had to have seen one if he has a catheter) would have told me that.  Mind boggling.

I was thinking his body size and shape may prevent him from folding enough to sit up. But I did wonder why they don't at least elevate the head of his bed so he can eat more easily ( because I am an enabler, I guess!) or sleep without refluxing himself to death ("Cause of death: COV - Choked On Vomit"). But maybe that would be bad, as more fluid would pool in his legs? What a horrible situation. 

I was also surprised he wasn't on 24/7 oxygen. Not even after his CHF ex, right?

[Granny58]

7 minutes ago, Tabbygirl521 said:

I was thinking his body size and shape may prevent him from folding enough to sit up. But I did wonder why they don't at least elevate the head of his bed so he can eat more easily ( because I am an enabler, I guess!) or sleep without refluxing himself to death ("Cause of death: COV - Choked On Vomit"). But maybe that would be bad, as more fluid would pool in his legs? What a horrible situation. 

I was also surprised he wasn't on 24/7 oxygen. Not even after his CHF ex, right?

Yes, def elevate the head of the bed, but first priority would be to elevate his legs.

[okerry]

15 minutes ago, chopperchopperbell said:

I understand what you are saying, but to me it's no different than an alcoholic or drug addict who can't abstain.  As a society we can feel compassion when an alcoholic or drug addict (or anorexic) are relapsing and struggling.  When it comes to obesity it is simply seen as a personal weakness.  All of the above are exhibiting poor judgment and selfish behavior, but there is no compassion for the guy who is eating too much food.

I'll completely disagree with that. James got all sorts of compassion and help from MANY people until he threw it all in the garbage and wasted every penny of the money spent on him and every ounce of the time and effort also spent on him.

THAT, again, is why people couldn't stand James. There have been plenty of other patients on this show who were "eating too much food," but folks here on this (admittedly tough) board were fully supportive of them. The twins, Brandi and Kandi, got a lot of love and support here, as have many other patients.

The difference was that those patients did appreciate the help and money they got and DID do something with it. James threw it right back in everyone's face, including his own father who may well become homeless trying to give his beast of a son far more help and compassion than he deserved. And James STILL wasted ALL of it.

ETA: I do understand what a nightmare addiction can be and what a horrific hold it can get on a person. That said, addicts DO still have a choice. If they had none, nobody would ever recover from their addiction no matter what kind it was. But addicts DO recover when they make the choice to do whatever it takes. They usually have to hit rock bottom first, but it is possible for them to make the choice.

James has already hit rock bottom and even that wasn't enough. He had a choice to accept real help, but refused. 

Edited March 18, 2017 by okerry

[MillieSparklepants]

19 minutes ago, DC Gal in VA said:

And if boyfriend was stupid enough to try and bully sistah girl (me) into ordering him fraaaahd rice and egg rolls or making biscuits and grrrraaaavy, I would bust out so much DC on his ass it would make his considerably giant head spin!

Laughing so hard right now! I'd love to see that DC Gal!

[Tabbygirl521]

1 hour ago, FCOL said:

He may also need cash for his Xbox One and PS4 games... or at least the yearly online subscription so he can get the 'free' games.  I wonder if he would sell his consoles and games for $300 if I offered to buy them.

Ew. You just know they are encrusted with food and grease. 

[bethster2000]

2 hours ago, operalover said:

It sounds like she might be trying to buy a forklift to help turn him over. 

Yes...that is a question of mine, actually.  We saw at the beginning that it took Lisa, Bayley, and two volunteers from friends/family to give James a bath and clean up his urine and feces.  It was just James and Lisa in Houston.  How did James bathe?

[Kid]

This is a response to chopperchopperbell  and I did not get the quote in. Sorry:

You are correct, it is the same as alcoholism and drug addiction. But, for me, I have no sympathy, no pity, no compassion for an alcoholic or a drug addict that is not in recovery.  And, I could care less about what they're doing to themselves. It's what they do to others. Generations of families are destroyed  They get into cars and kill people on the roads. In this day and age, there is help and that help is free. You do not have to go to fancy rehab to recover from any addiction including food.  Is it easy - no. Is it pleasant - no.  And if you are in recovery and you have a relapse that I can feel compassion for. Especially, when people relapse and get back on the wagon.   I understand that struggle and I have compassion for it.

And James  proves my point. His father is old, ailing, refinances his house. His daughter doesn't stand a chance. Pulled her out of school and is a young girl is having to look at his package while she cleans his ass.  So it's hard to have compassion, of any kind, for him.

Edited March 18, 2017 by Kid

[Granny58]

2 hours ago, Lizz said:

I was pretty much the only person in the ER paying for my treatment (I couldn't help but hear talk around me.)  

I used to do a lot of ER reports.  It always staggered me when people needed a prescription for acetaminophen (generic Tylenol), but I was told (by my friend who works in billling) that is because then insurance (you and me baby) will pay for it.  Really?  They can't pony up $1.50 on their own!!!!   

[FCOL]

7 minutes ago, Tabbygirl521 said:

Ew. You just know they are encrusted with food and grease. 

Yeah the controllers would have to be thrown away for sure, but there is a good chance he never touched the consoles themselves. Though that does make me wonder if Lisa always wore gloves, or if that was just for TV?

[gardendiva]

I agree with everyone that James is hateful because of his unwillingness to participate at any level in his own recovery, and wants (demands) help from everyone around him as well as strangers on the internet, but will not do anything personally to help himself. And when people DO try to help, he yells or makes excuses or otherwise is a big bucket of failure at life.

In combination with this, though, is another component that adds to how repellant he appears. The Chinese food scene played it out very well. The infantile screaming and whining about how he didn't want healthy food. His unbridled glee ("food!") when it was brought to him, his petulant pout when he thought he didn't get any egg rolls because the plate is right at f***ing eye level and he couldn't see the whole thing at once. The mesmerized shoveling that ensued. And of course the cheesecake. He is just one big pile of id impulses: pure selfishness, interested in only satisfying needs for pleasure; he is infantile, demanding, unreasonable, has no self awareness. He appears animalistic with almost no humanity left in him, because humanity involves caring for others and being interested in connecting with others. His only connections with other humans are the people that wipe his ass and clean his pustules. He disgusts me on such a deep level I struggle to express it.