S05.E29: The Real McCoy

[Primetimer]

Dylan is convinced that past life regression is real when Molly sends him back to the Old West and Kelly is there, trying out accents.

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[Primetimer]

And you'll wish Old-Tyme Dylan had shot the wardrobe department when you see the present-day lewks from S05.E29.

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[Earmuffs Mom]

I think this episode was infinitely worse than the S3 Christmas episode.  I felt like the Christmas episode moved the plot along in many ways:  the B/D/K triangle came to head with their ultimatum, Brandon and Nikki broke up, David decided to try to graduate early, and Steve looks adorable as Santa for those kids.  I also love how they all snipe at each other on the bus because all of their pettiness is on full display and felt like an authentic teenager moment.

This whole alternate Wild Wild West universe was the most contrived way to demonstrate the "soulmates" crap between Dylan and Kelly.  I also seem to remember at some point Luke Perry saying he really liked doing this storyline because he's a cowboy deep in his heart.  I always always skipped this episode when I rewatched.

[benteen]

Of course, Brandon's dress pants are rolled up.

[Princess Sparkle]

This era of David really makes it so hard to remember that Brian Austin Green looks like this now.  I guess better late than never.  ETA - I'm sorry his head is so big and that his eyes appear to be staring into our souls.  

Edited January 23, 2017 by Princess Sparkle

[Princess Sparkle]

24 minutes ago, Earmuffs Mom said:

I think this episode was infinitely worse than the S3 Christmas episode.  I felt like the Christmas episode moved the plot along in many ways:  the B/D/K triangle came to head with their ultimatum, Brandon and Nikki broke up, David decided to try to graduate early, and Steve looks adorable as Santa for those kids.  I also love how they all snipe at each other on the bus because all of their pettiness is on full display and felt like an authentic teenager moment.

This whole alternate Wild Wild West universe was the most contrived way to demonstrate the "soulmates" crap between Dylan and Kelly.  I also seem to remember at some point Luke Perry saying he really liked doing this storyline because he's a cowboy deep in his heart.  I always always skipped this episode when I rewatched.

It's nice to know that Luke Perry is just as pretentious as I assumed he was.  At least Jason Priestley hated the character of Brandon...

[Lisin]

Yeah, this is right after his movie 8 Seconds came out... I'm assuming he got into it then? And didn't the new 90210 have him living on a ranch in Wyoming or something? Ugh. Dylan, you're the worst. (NOT because ranchers are bad! Ranchers rule! Just... thinking about Dylan makes me say that!)

Anyway, here's a picture of him from 8 Seconds. Which, in my memory was good and he was good in it? But also I was living in Texas then so it may have colored my opinion. 

[Lisin]

Man. BAG is so hot now. He's one of those "aged into hotness" people, like Tom Welling (Tom Welling got hot y'all). He does get marginally better looking soonish on the show too I think because isn't his head shaved at some point? He should win for most improved hair by the end of the series for sure. 

[CurlyATX]

This is one I also skipped on most rewatches.  I have a deep-seeted hatred of any episodes where the actors "stretch"... I'm thinking of this one and the one where Brandon plays a jeweler, or the Real World episode.  It seems that the actors all were bored with this show and wanted to use it as a vehicle for something else- directing, producing, adding story lines.  I wish they could have been satisfied with just saying the lines of the script.  ShanDo seemed to be the only pro in the group. 

[CurlyATX]

I sorta like that he had an "awkward" period.  He was a really cute kid on Knott's Landing and def had the genetic material to be handsome.  It gives me some comfort that even someone who is styled and on a hit TV show can make bad choices.  Though I'm not one to talk... the 90's didn't have much in terms of hair product for curly girls.  It's a miracle I ever dated at all, let alone met Mr. Curly then.

[Molly Cule]

I'm the sucker that didn't skip this episode upon subsequent rewatches and I still somehow forgot how garbage time it was. I also most definitely conflated plot points from this and the Walker Texas Ranger wild west flashback ep. Something tells me that would have been a better show, 'pardner'. 

Brandon the Politician: The Worst. Always and Forever. Shut up shut up shut up. 

[TeeVee329]

I might be misremembering, but when we first met him, I could have sworn Alex Diaz was a senior.  Oh well, at least Brandon's political career is O-V-E-R.  Now he can reenter journalism, never mind that he hasn't done anything related to it in two years! #eyeroll

Oh, Val, please stop this.  I mean, it was established that she had a childhood crush on him (didn't we hear that they were each others' first kiss back when she first showed up?), but this heel turn towards Brandon is never again.  But I'm still Team Val Forever.

I can't believe we've arrived at I Choose Me!

[TeeVee329]

I feel like he starts looking better next season, when he gets with Val, isn't that when he has the shaved haircut?  Or perhaps he's just caught in the sheen of the glowing light of Val's Boobs?

Edited January 23, 2017 by TeeVee329

[benteen]

I think 8 Seconds was released three years before this train wreck of an episode.

From what I remember of the 90210 reboot, Dylan was supposed to be on a farm in Wyoming which might make sense for Luke Perry but not Dylan.

[benteen]

BAG also became a better actor as he got older.  He was literally the best thing on The Sarah Connor Chronicles (which had Lena Heady and Summer Glau in the cast) and probably helped secure it a second season.

Edited January 23, 2017 by benteen

[Lisin]

16 minutes ago, benteen said:

I think 8 Seconds was released three years before this train wreck of an episode.

From what I remember of the 90210 reboot, Dylan was supposed to be on a farm in Wyoming which might make sense for Luke Perry but not Dylan.

 And yeah, I remember watching new 90210 thinking "Ok, for LP yes, but where's Dylan gonna surf? HOW CAN HE NOT SURF GUYS?!?!"

[AndySmith]

8 Seconds was released on February 25, 1994. This episode was broadcast on May 10, 1995.

[Ions Earring]

Quote

At least Jason Priestley hated the character of Brandon...

To paraphrase Steve Sanders- We all hated the character, at least he showed he had taste.

[CurlyATX]

1 hour ago, TeeVee329 said:

I can't believe we've arrived at I Choose Me!

Oooh... once she chooses herself, then it's Collin Time which means CokedUp!Kelly and Dylan's departure.  I wonder what things would have been like if Dylan were still around for Kelly's coke time.   Then, sadly it's all downhill... "diseases that kills lovers" and all sorts of crap. 

[marny]

I really wish that Wanted poster had described him as "Mad, Bad and Dangerous".

[spaceghostess]

Whoa, present day BAG is scary hot. I don't know how to process this change. Also? I can't believe I don't remember this Wild West idiocy. Must've missed the ep back in the day; it definitely would have made an impression.

[Maherjunkie]

Allegedly being a domineering husband to Megan Fox subtracts from it though.

[MerBearStare]

If the student election was at the beginning of the school year/season 5, then shouldn't the next student election be at the beginning of the next school year/season 6? I've obviously put more thought into this than the writers.

I must admit, at the time these aired, I was Team Kelly. To be fair, I was in 7th grade at the time. I mean, as an adult I realize that Kelly is terrible, but I still think Val is also kind of terrible. She has her moments of awesomeness and I think Tiffani Amber Thiessen does a great job, but her whole thing with Ray was shitty. I think if they would have made her more like an Amanda Woodward, who was a bitch, knew she was a bitch, and owned it, I would like her more. But the writers continuously changed her motivation and at certain times she was almost pathetic. So Team No One, I guess.

Edited January 24, 2017 by MerBearStare

[MerBearStare]

The visual aids definitely do a good job of making me less sentimental about 90's fashion. I mean, I'll always rock a floral baby doll dress with boots, but the rest of this stuff...oof. 

[TeeVee329]

1 hour ago, MerBearStare said:

If the student election was at the beginning of the school year/season 5, then shouldn't the next student election be at the beginning of the next school year/season 6? I've obviously put more thought into this than the writers.

It saddens me I remember this, but the election Brandon ran in with Josh was a special election held in the beginning of the year because the president/vice-president that had been elected in the spring got busted for...something.  Embezzling funds maybe?

[TeeVee329]

I don't really know hair, but Val's hair in some of those pics looks very The Rachel, yes?

[adam807]

I still have a couple of Jerry Garcia ties I got in the late 90s. They are not as hideous as the one Branden is wearing in that last GIF of him.

[SoupThrower]

6 hours ago, TeeVee329 said:

I don't really know hair, but Val's hair in some of those pics looks very The Rachel, yes?

I guess she pre-Rachel'd The Rachel. 

[SoupThrower]

Few things

- So Donna got upset that Clare and David would spend time with other people. I do think they all have friends in other places except Dylan because of their classes but whatever show.

- Priestley directing the episode where Brandon gets destroyed is great and it wasn't even Brandon's fault which makes it even better. 

- Shut up Wild West Dylan and Kelly. Shut up Soulmates. 

 

Kelly gets a lot of love for "I choose me" but she yelled at all the guys for cheating but cheats on Brandon with Dylan and no one bats an eye. While Brandon is one of the worst, it really sucks for him because none of it was his fault at all. Shut up Kelly and Dylan

[MerBearStare]

10 hours ago, TeeVee329 said:

It saddens me I remember this, but the election Brandon ran in with Josh was a special election held in the beginning of the year because the president/vice-president that had been elected in the spring got busted for...something.  Embezzling funds maybe?

That's right. I vaguely remember this from like 75 episodes ago. I think they improperly used some funds to take a romantic vacation together or something like that. Apologies to the 90210 writers for besmirching their good name.

[Klaw]

Quote

 But the writers continuously changed her motivation and at certain times she was almost pathetic

So agree with this. I do mostly love Val and if they had just kept her a thorn in Kelly and the Gang's side (sounds like a cheesy 70s pop band), that could have been all kinds of awesome. Like, if they had her in the Gang's orbit because of her closeness with the Walshes but she never really liked them or wanted their approval and just kind of played with them for shits and giggles ... now that would have been a show! Instead, we have her constantly running after all the girls' sloppy seconds (Dylan, Brandon, Ray, David), making stupid choices (who moves into a luxury hotel? why not use the money for a downpayment on a condo????) and being slut-shamed because she *gasps* likes to have sex. Eye roll. Like, I would have LOVED to have her call out  Kelly's hypocrisy (frequently, not just the 1x) or have one of the guys actually prefer her over St. Catbutt or Lamb Chop. But instead we have to have her simper and debase herself for these fucking losers time and time again.

While I'm ranting, Val showed her awesomeness again and again and no one appreciated it, dammit! LEt's review: she knew Finley was full of crap. She also knew, before anyone else, that St. Catbutt was turning into Coke!Kelly! She also ran a fucking nightclub in LA (again, a place where 1,000 of guys would be basically lining up to date her)... 

Then we have stupid Wild!West!Kelly portrayed as - surprise - a self righteous rag. Again. 

UGH! I'll stop. Maybe I'm finally too old to rewatch this shit.

P.S. IMO nothing is as bad as that Xmas episode. So, so, so cringeworthy. the Angel getting all creepy about "Da Blonde" yuck. But I get it, choosing the lesser of two evils here is almost impossible...

[CurlyATX]

I also like how when Kelly gets Coked up and the roomies have a garage sale and put Kelly's situation on blast, Val is the one who shows class and tells them to stuff it. 

At least David/Val is coming soon.  I can't remember how that all started.  That was the best pairing: OTP in my book. 

[TeeVee329]

41 minutes ago, CurlyATX said:

At least David/Val is coming soon.  I can't remember how that all started.  That was the best pairing: OTP in my book. 

It's David's mom again.  Val's there for David when his mom attempts suicide (I believe that's also the episode where we learn about that cliff or wherever that Val goes to for a "gut check").  Then they kiss right before Val goes on that somewhat awesome road trip with the apartment girls.

Edited January 24, 2017 by TeeVee329

[Molly Cule]

4 hours ago, MerBearStare said:

That's right. I vaguely remember this from like 75 episodes ago. I think they improperly used some funds to take a romantic vacation together or something like that. Apologies to the 90210 writers for besmirching their good name.

They furnished their apartment using the student funds, per Josh's scathing exposé. I wish I didn't know this. I'll see myself out.

 

Was the unofficial theme of season 6 "(Let's) Keep it That Way"? For real, I think every single character says it at least three times. Get it together, people. 

 

*edit, season 5. My 'excitement' over the upcoming coverage of season 6 is clouding my mind. Speaking as a time traveler from the future who just rewatched that season I'm here to tell you all I have never come closer to striking my screen with a closed fist because of goddamn Brandon. 

Edited January 24, 2017 by Molly Cule

[TeeVee329]

1 hour ago, Klaw said:

We have her constantly running after all the girls' sloppy seconds (Dylan, Brandon, Ray, David),

I blame some of that on the nature of the show/soaps in general, this type of partner swapping.  I believe there's an episode eventually where Claire comments on the incestual nature of The Gang, never mind that she went from Brandon (kinda) to David to Steve.

[AndySmith]

Quote

I believe there's an episode eventually where Claire comments on the incestual nature of The Gang

I remember that scene. I think she says that to Brandon.

[CurlyATX]

2 hours ago, TeeVee329 said:

I blame some of that on the nature of the show/soaps in general, this type of partner swapping.  I believe there's an episode eventually where Claire comments on the incestual nature of The Gang, never mind that she went from Brandon (kinda) to David to Steve.

I remember that scene... it's after they retcon that Steve/Kelly had sex once (vs dated and he was insanely in love with her for years later).  Clare gets all mad because she didn't "know" this, even though it's brought up again during the Real World episode. 

I'm surprised that this group didn't get a disease or anything... esp from Dylan.

[MissEwa]

22 hours ago, MerBearStare said:

I must admit, at the time these aired, I was Team Kelly. To be fair, I was in 7th grade at the time. I mean, as an adult I realize that Kelly is terrible, but I still think Val is also kind of terrible. She has her moments of awesomeness and I think Tiffani Amber Thiessen does a great job, but her whole thing with Ray was shitty. I think if they would have made her more like an Amanda Woodward, who was a bitch, knew she was a bitch, and owned it, I would like her more. But the writers continuously changed her motivation and at certain times she was almost pathetic. So Team No One, I guess.

You're not alone. 15-year-old Me was Team Kelly. And Team Brandon. I was very straight-laced and boring and thought Val was scandalously bad before I realised 'scandalously bad' was actually great. 

Adult Me thinks Val is problematic as hell - the Ray thing is the main reason but her sudden Brandon thing is weird, and all the Dylan/Steve stuff too. On the one hand, I think it's great that she's (as much as the term annoys me) sex positive and confident enough to go after she wants, but I hate how it's never just that she likes a guy or thinks he's hot or wants a fun time, it's always about something else. Still, Team Val over Team Kelly any day of the week. 

[Molly Cule]

7 hours ago, CurlyATX said:

I'm surprised that this group didn't get a disease or anything... esp from Dylan.

Now I'm picturing super pretensioso extra skinny crabs with very tall heads. Wearing turtleneck sweaters. They kind of look like Mr. Krabs but less working-man.  

[itainttippithebird]

On 1/23/2017 at 7:18 PM, MerBearStare said:

If the student election was at the beginning of the school year/season 5, then shouldn't the next student election be at the beginning of the next school year/season 6? I've obviously put more thought into this than the writers.

I must admit, at the time these aired, I was Team Kelly. To be fair, I was in 7th grade at the time. I mean, as an adult I realize that Kelly is terrible, but I still think Val is also kind of terrible. She has her moments of awesomeness and I think Tiffani Amber Thiessen does a great job, but her whole thing with Ray was shitty. I think if they would have made her more like an Amanda Woodward, who was a bitch, knew she was a bitch, and owned it, I would like her more. But the writers continuously changed her motivation and at certain times she was almost pathetic. So Team No One, I guess.

Same! I was pretty shame faced when Tara and Sarah asked who in their right mind was Team Kelly back in the day. I remember being really annoyed with all of Val's man stealing machinations and totally into Kelly and choosing herself, etc - rewatching along with this podcast (for the first time since it aired when I was a sophomore in high school), I cannot STAND Kelly and I think Val is the best of them all! At least I got my priorities straight eventually...

Edited January 25, 2017 by itainttippithebird

[itainttippithebird]

Few things

- So Donna got upset that Clare and David would spend time with other people. I do think they all have friends in other places except Dylan because of their classes but whatever show.

- Priestley directing the episode where Brandon gets destroyed is great and it wasn't even Brandon's fault which makes it even better. 

- Shut up Wild West Dylan and Kelly. Shut up Soulmates. 

 

Kelly gets a lot of love for "I choose me" but she yelled at all the guys for cheating but cheats on Brandon with Dylan and no one bats an eye. While Brandon is one of the worst, it really sucks for him because none of it was his fault at all. Shut up Kelly and Dylan

I really didn't remember all this casual cheating from the first time around and now I'm like, WTH?! pretty much any time Kelly kisses Dylan/Brandon while dating Brandon/Dylan. For such a DEEPLY moralizing show, how come this is treated with such nonchalance, plot-wise?! Because SOULMATES? Whatever.

[TeeVee329]

1 hour ago, itainttippithebird said:

I really didn't remember all this casual cheating from the first time around and now I'm like, WTH?! pretty much any time Kelly kisses Dylan/Brandon while dating Brandon/Dylan. For such a DEEPLY moralizing show, how come this is treated with such nonchalance, plot-wise?! Because SOULMATES? Whatever.

I feel like we see that a bunch with David and Donna too, that they have these kisses while one or both of them are involved with other people.  We already saw it in the "Real World" episode.

[scarynikki12]

I was always Team Val but that's because I saw every episode of Saved By the Bell and entered 90210 via season 3 so my first impression of Kelly was her cheating on Brenda.  Little Kid scarynikki12 thought boys were gross but does have two BFF so the thought of a Best Friend being that awful to another Best Friend was the height of horror.  I still think that but now I include Dylan since I no longer think boys are gross.  Well, I still do, but individually and for different reasons than when I was little. 

[SoupThrower]

4 hours ago, itainttippithebird said:

I really didn't remember all this casual cheating from the first time around and now I'm like, WTH?! pretty much any time Kelly kisses Dylan/Brandon while dating Brandon/Dylan. For such a DEEPLY moralizing show, how come this is treated with such nonchalance, plot-wise?! Because SOULMATES? Whatever.

Because Kelly can't do any wrong apparently. Apparently it's Brandon's and Dylan's fault that Kelly was stringing two guys along and they are selfish (well they are but situation).

She calls them both selfish for not attending Andrea's thing in the next episode but she's selfish....whatever Kelly is a jerk. 

 

2 hours ago, TeeVee329 said:

I feel like we see that a bunch with David and Donna too, that they have these kisses while one or both of them are involved with other people.  We already saw it in the "Real World" episode.

Yeah but I feel like this is on another level because I figure that she sees Dylan at the same time between the end of this episode to the next episode which is a lot, lot worse than one kiss between David and Donna. Both are wrong but the degrees are completely different. 

[JaggedLilPill]

9 hours ago, itainttippithebird said:

I really didn't remember all this casual cheating from the first time around and now I'm like, WTH?! pretty much any time Kelly kisses Dylan/Brandon while dating Brandon/Dylan. For such a DEEPLY moralizing show, how come this is treated with such nonchalance, plot-wise?! Because SOULMATES? Whatever.

Right?! At least when it happened with Kelly and Brandon while she was with Dylan, she did end up fessing up and Dylan confronted Brandon about it. This time though, did Brandon even know that Kelly was messing around with Dylan behind his back? Because he never says anything about it. I know he was all "Wtf with asking Kelly to go around the world with you?" but nothing else about it. And instead of getting a taste of her own self-righteous medicine, Brandon rewards Kelly with....an engagement ring.

Yack.

Don't get me wrong, I think all three characters end up being awful by this point, but it bugs me that Kelly's misdeeds are often forgotten (except for the few times Val is all, "Uh, didn't you screw Dylan while Brenda was in France?") but she'll harp on everyone else's. Shut. Up. Kelly.

21 hours ago, CurlyATX said:

 

I also like how when Kelly gets Coked up and the roomies have a garage sale and put Kelly's situation on blast, Val is the one who shows class and tells them to stuff it

 

Me too! Meanwhile, Clare's like idgaf who knows her private business. LOL. Nice friends you got there, Kel. Not that Kelly doesn't bug the crap out of me, but it's really kind of shitty to be airing that in public. 

Val's whole edit ends up being so weird, but if I look at her backstory, I sort of understand her motives. I think she desperately wants to fit in with these people, but doesn't know how. And she has deep trust issues, understandably. She does genuinely want to have friends, but she also doesn't trust that they won't hurt her, so she kind of fulfills her own prophecy and hurts them first, which gives them legitimate reasons to not like her. Again, it's shitty to go after Ray knowing full well that he's with Donna. 

Yet she's also the one to tell Donna that she saw what Ray did to her and that she shouldn't forget what happened on those stairs. 

Edited January 25, 2017 by JaggedLilPill

[Earmuffs Mom]

I wonder if the writers thought the viewers would overlook the Kelly/Dylan cheating because they rekindled some feelings during the cult storyline, when Kelly and Brandon were "on a break," even though it was initiated by Finley's manipulation.    Dylan tells Brandon that they can't tear Kelly in half when they leave the cult compound for good, so Dylan's made it plain he still has feelings for her...not that having feelings justifies going after her when she's in a relationship with your supposed best friend, but I think the viewers were supposed to see it as some grand romantic gesture/epiphany.

[Jax7917]

I just can't stand the show catering to kelly in every way when out of every person in their gang, she has actually cheated the most. Yet she is the first one to call Val or anyone else a slut. Um if I recall correctly, kelly has been with every one of the guys in that group. Also pretty sure brandon and dylan's bro code has been violated too many times for them to even care anymore. But the one thing that I do know is that when you are involved in not 1 but 2 different love triangles with ALL best friends, you my friend, are the hooch of the group. Val only comes 2nd to her.

[AndySmith]

Quote

Um if I recall correctly, kelly has been with every one of the guys in that group

Well, except David.

[ZeroDiscipline]

If memory serves, Rachel was Rachel first. Friends premiered the same year as this season, and Jennifer Aniston's haircut was an immediate phenomenon. 90210 stylists copied it for Valerie.

[CurlyATX]

18 hours ago, AndySmith said:

Well, except David.

But oddly enough, he was lusting after her in the beginning.  It is interesting that none of the guys who go after Donna ever look at Kelly.  Although I think Mall Attorney Matt (spoiler) originally liked Donna then "settled" for Kelly.