Ryan: What the hell happened to him?

[CaliforniaLove]

I've never thought Bentley looked anything like Ryan. He looks like Maci, but thankfully he's cute. 

[Tatum]

Ryan and Maci don't look at alike to me, but somehow Bentley looks exactly like both of them.

 

9 hours ago, GreatKazu said:

No matter how many times I see that baby photo of Maci, I cringe. She was definitely not cute at all. She is still not a looker. 

I think she can look cute at times.  Most of her hair, makeup, tattoo, and clothing choices do nothing for her. Maci to me is like Teen Mom 2 Leah- two extremely plain girls who can look very pretty with the right makeup and hair, but they generally don't get it right. Also, when you have very thin, fine hair, waist length is not your friend, Maci. She should have stuck with her bob.

 

9 hours ago, ChristmasJones said:

Ryan seems like such a slug.... I can't imagine what this chick sees in him. She really has to be a very messed up person to choose to marry a guy like him. 

Really? I think she has made it quite clear what she sees in him. Her vehicle for D list fame.

[ChristmasJones]

I'm trying to figure out what caused Rhine to start tearing up in that scene with his dad. I can't imagine that his dad spilling information about Macy would cause him to cry.  I would think he would be happy about that.   Any guesses?  One idea is that during his short stint in rehab, he did get the drugs out of his system and talked a bit about his family, and maybe some emotions about his relationship with his dad were starting to come out a bit at that moment.

[Tatum]

37 minutes ago, ChristmasJones said:

I'm trying to figure out what caused Rhine to start tearing up in that scene with his dad. I can't imagine that his dad spilling information about Macy would cause him to cry.  I would think he would be happy about that.   Any guesses?  One idea is that during his short stint in rehab, he did get the drugs out of his system and talked a bit about his family, and maybe some emotions about his relationship with his dad were starting to come out a bit at that moment.

I am really curious too! I don't think it's sadness over being a bad father to Bentley or missing time with him. 

 

In an earlier scene, Maci talks about bringing Bentley to give Ryan his father's day present, and Ryan told Bentley thanks, and to go play (somewhere away from him). Now, this is Maci, who is a somewhat unreliable narrator, but if the above is true, it does not appear that Ryan has exactly turned over a new leaf when it comes to interacting with Bentley.

 

I honestly don't think Ryan enjoys being a father. I think he cares about Bentley and doesn't want to see him hurt or upset, but if he hadn't had an oops, I think Ryan would have been someone who declared that they didn't want kids, ever.

[ghoulina]

53 minutes ago, ChristmasJones said:

I'm trying to figure out what caused Rhine to start tearing up in that scene with his dad. I can't imagine that his dad spilling information about Macy would cause him to cry.  I would think he would be happy about that.   Any guesses?  One idea is that during his short stint in rehab, he did get the drugs out of his system and talked a bit about his family, and maybe some emotions about his relationship with his dad were starting to come out a bit at that moment.

My thoughts were that maybe he was getting upset because he has so many people trying to pull him in on direction or another. He has kind of brought that on himself, by being so inert his entire life. But I think he may have had a moment of clarity over the hell he's created. He's got his dad flipping out and causing trouble and his new wife trying to pull all the strings. I think he's at a loss for how to handle things. 

[Bridget]

22 minutes ago, ghoulina said:

My thoughts were that maybe he was getting upset because he has so many people trying to pull him in on direction or another. He has kind of brought that on himself, by being so inert his entire life. But I think he may have had a moment of clarity over the hell he's created. He's got his dad flipping out and causing trouble and his new wife trying to pull all the strings. I think he's at a loss for how to handle things. 

This!!!

And it's also why he should have stayed in Rehab longer - for the therapeutic aspects! He would never go see someone on his own to deal with his additional issues,  but if he was "forced to participate" while he was there, it would have done him a world of good to have stayed and gleaned as much as possible during his 1:1 sessions.

I've never been to rehab, nor do I know anyone who has, but from what I understand, there's a lot of therapy/group meetings that can/do involve family members at times. It's too bad Ryan ended up in TX (do we know why that is?) because he could have done some great things in therapy and learned some great coping skills had he even had a session or two with his parents (maybe someone would have told them not to give him need upon his return?!?!). I don't know if kids are allowed into a rehab center, but I'd imagine that even a session outside & disguised as "visiting time" with Bentley would have given the doctors so much more information about how to help Ryan.

And what type of place does not even have a sample template for "basic aftercare", especially when someone leaves one week early?

(If anyone knows, I am genuinely interested!)

[TeenMomAngerMgmt]

I was kinda struck by how callous Mack appeared in that scene. The way she asked why he was crying/upset really seemed like she didn’t care to me. I know he’s your meal ticket, but damn girl! 

[Brooklynista]

1 hour ago, TeenMomAngerMgmt said:

I was kinda struck by how callous Mack appeared in that scene. The way she asked why he was crying/upset really seemed like she didn’t care to me. I know he’s your meal ticket, but damn girl! 

It looked to me like she wanted to make him even more upset. As if she wanted to give the camera crew a better scene. Ole girl was trying to make the highlight reel.

[GreatKazu]

10 minutes ago, Brooklynista said:

It looked to me like she wanted to make him even more upset. As if she wanted to give the camera crew a better scene. Ole girl was trying to make the highlight reel.

Mac doesn't want any scenes to be left for the "Unseen Moments" special or the deleted scenes pile that end up on MTVs website. 

[LilaFowler]

I actually gasped when he said the word 'heroin' tonight. I was stunned. He left rehab after only three weeks? The chance for relapse is extremely high for those who were addicted to heroin, and he didn't look or sound clean in his last scene.

[GreatKazu]

Many people noted Ryan had needle marks on his arms and legs at various times throughout the last couple of seasons. I guess they were right. 

Maci can kiss my ass about not knowing about Ryan's drug problem. For almost two years now viewers have called him out as a drug user. And the people who see him in person and more often than the viewers didn't do anything to protect Bentley? 

[Bridget]

29 minutes ago, LilaFowler said:

I actually gasped when he said the word 'heroin' tonight. I was stunned. He left rehab after only three weeks? The chance for relapse is extremely high for those who were addicted to heroin, and he didn't look or sound clean in his last scene.

Former heroin user + leaving rehab early ("graduating early" my ass!) + drinking beer at a BBQ + no aftercare plan = Bad News Bears 

[mamadrama]

I KNEW It couldn't be pain pills. Even though I think Mack was lying about how much he was spending ($10,000 a week my ass) even if he was spending a quarter of that, no way was it on pain medication. Chronic pain patient here...4 oxycodone a day for several years. Street value was only $10-20 per pill. (I never sold them because I needed them myself but once you're on those things you start learning all kinds of shit about them). 

[SPLAIN]

5 hours ago, TeenMomAngerMgmt said:

I was kinda struck by how callous Mack appeared in that scene. The way she asked why he was crying/upset really seemed like she didn’t care to me. I know he’s your meal ticket, but damn girl! 

Ryan is ill. He has a disease. This tart is taking advantage of the situation. She is in it for the long haul not because she needs to clean house. She is doing it because it financially benefits her. There is no way she'd tolerate Ryan if he wasn't on this show. Just like the guys who seek out Amber and Jenelle for their money, Mack falls into that group. 

47 minutes ago, mamadrama said:

I KNEW It couldn't be pain pills. Even though I think Mack was lying about how much he was spending ($10,000 a week my ass) even if he was spending a quarter of that, no way was it on pain medication. Chronic pain patient here...4 oxycodone a day for several years. Street value was only $10-20 per pill. (I never sold them because I needed them myself but once you're on those things you start learning all kinds of shit about them). 

I could believe he spent $10k during a certain time period such as a 12 month period. I could see his dealer taking advantage of a strung-out Ryan who was desperate to score and likely charging him double or more. I just don't think it was $10k a week.

According to Dalis, his ex-girlfriend, Ryan started out with pills: http://starcasm.net/archives/371167

[LilaFowler]

Where was he even getting the money to buy drugs?

[AirQuotes]

9 hours ago, LilaFowler said:

I actually gasped when he said the word 'heroin' tonight. I was stunned. He left rehab after only three weeks? The chance for relapse is extremely high for those who were addicted to heroin, and he didn't look or sound clean in his last scene.

Me too!  I gasped and woke the dog up.  I was thinking pills; never heroin.  But I do remember seeing screenshots of Ryan's arms that looked suspiciously like trackmarks.  I think Ryan is doomed.  Heroin is notoriously hard to kick, and Mack gives off an evil vibe.  I don't trust her at all.  She needs Ryan to be sick for a whole list of reasons.

[Tatum]

5 minutes ago, AirQuotes said:

Me too!  I gasped and woke the dog up.  I was thinking pills; never heroin.  But I do remember seeing screenshots of Ryan's arms that looked suspiciously like trackmarks.  I think Ryan is doomed.  Heroin is notoriously hard to kick, and Mack gives off an evil vibe.  I don't trust her at all.  She needs Ryan to be sick for a whole list of reasons.

Agreed. I have no experience with drugs or recovery, but Ryan and his family appear to be looking at his rehab stint as a 20 day long detox, and that Ryan would come back clean, with a new lease on life. There doesn't appear to have been any work done on Ryan avoiding old habits that led to drug use, going to counseling, taking responsibility for his own decisions- Ryan is going to slip right back in to where he was, and his parents are going to turn a blind eye to it. Mac may prefer it, actually- easier to keep him controlled.

[TeenMomAngerMgmt]

I could be misremembering my  Intervention days, but aren’t pills sort of a gateway drug for heroin in the sense that pills can be expensive/hard to get whereas heroin is a lot cheaper?

[AirQuotes]

Yes, @TeenMomAngerMgmt.  That's exactly why heroin use is so rampant and on the rise.

Ryan probably went to a rehab facility in Texas for several reasons.  Most likely MTV paid for it and a second tier player on the show, the budget wasn't high enough to cover the seaside resort the moms usually get sent away to.

It has been a few years since I worked ER, but it seems psych beds and rehab beds are just as difficult (possibly more so) to come by now as they ever were.  Patients can be sent wherever the needed bed is available.

My ex-husband is an alcoholic drug addict and he was involved with a drug addict girlfriend.  She was injuring herself and making frequent ER visits to score pills for them.  It was something ridiculous like 4 visits to the same podunk ER in the span of a week.  The doctor busted her and she was held on a PEC.  They held her for several days waiting for a psych bed to open up and when a bed finally became available it was several hours away.  Believe me, I heard all the details from her because she was going to file a lawsuit against all of them. lol    It is a common ER occurrence.

[TeenMomAngerMgmt]

Can we please have a Teen Mom/Intervention crossover? Can’t decide if I want Jeff to tell Ryan that a bunch of people love the heck out of him or if I want Candy to be a hardass on him, but this needs to happen. 

[AirQuotes]

I wish Dr. Drew was still doing his rehab show because then Ryan could go there and we could get all the juicy details!

[ghoulina]

3 hours ago, TeenMomAngerMgmt said:

I could be misremembering my  Intervention days, but aren’t pills sort of a gateway drug for heroin in the sense that pills can be expensive/hard to get whereas heroin is a lot cheaper?

Yea, I'm guessing that Ryan was prescribed pain pills as a result of his accident years ago. I think he was likely hooked on those for a long time. I think the Heroin use only started in the last year or so. 

[gunderda]

7 hours ago, LilaFowler said:

Where was he even getting the money to buy drugs?

His teen mom money... his parents... Mackenzie.... he was probably stealing and pawning items left and right to get drug money (that's what my nephews' mom used to do - stole her own kids' items!) 

I was not shocked when he said heroine.  Maybe that means I've been watching too much Intervention. 

[FairyDusted]

On 12/11/2017 at 4:05 PM, Bridget said:

This!!!

And it's also why he should have stayed in Rehab longer - for the therapeutic aspects! He would never go see someone on his own to deal with his additional issues,  but if he was "forced to participate" while he was there, it would have done him a world of good to have stayed and gleaned as much as possible during his 1:1 sessions.

I've never been to rehab, nor do I know anyone who has, but from what I understand, there's a lot of therapy/group meetings that can/do involve family members at times. It's too bad Ryan ended up in TX (do we know why that is?) because he could have done some great things in therapy and learned some great coping skills had he even had a session or two with his parents (maybe someone would have told them not to give him need upon his return?!?!). I don't know if kids are allowed into a rehab center, but I'd imagine that even a session outside & disguised as "visiting time" with Bentley would have given the doctors so much more information about how to help Ryan.

And what type of place does not even have a sample template for "basic aftercare", especially when someone leaves one week early?

(If anyone knows, I am genuinely interested!)

I have a ton of info! Let me finish up this thread and I can answer whatever hasn't.

[FairyDusted]

Re: rehabs Usually the 28 days models...The first 10-14 days are spent in detox. Drs and nursing 24/7. Toward the end they work you onto a schedule. Next you change units and your '28' days begin. Depending on how you react they may keep you longer. I can give you more info in small talk. Hope that helps! 

[GreatKazu]

4 hours ago, ghoulina said:

Yea, I'm guessing that Ryan was prescribed pain pills as a result of his accident years ago. I think he was likely hooked on those for a long time. I think the Heroin use only started in the last year or so. 

According to the article that was linked, Dalis said Ryan's friend was on pills (Oxycodone) and he decided to try them. I am guessing for recreational use. That was back in 2012. Ryan's car accident was in December 2014. It sounds like Ryan was already a full-blown addict by the time of the car crash. He had to have been if he entered rehab two years prior. 

 

2 hours ago, gunderda said:

His teen mom money... his parents... Mackenzie.... he was probably stealing and pawning items left and right to get drug money (that's what my nephews' mom used to do - stole her own kids' items!) 

I was not shocked when he said heroine.  Maybe that means I've been watching too much Intervention. 

There was that one episode where Larry alluded to his tools having been taken by Ryan. We assumed Ryan was stealing from Larry for some time which is why there was a lock on the shed. That was also the episode where Larry said he wouldn't piss on Ryan if he was on fire. 

Edited December 12, 2017 by GreatKazu

[gunderda]

15 hours ago, GreatKazu said:

According to the article that was linked, Dalis said Ryan's friend was on pills (Oxycodone) and he decided to try them. I am guessing for recreational use. That was back in 2012. Ryan's car accident was in December 2014. It sounds like Ryan was already a full-blown addict by the time of the car crash. He had to have been if he entered rehab two years prior. 

 

There was that one episode where Larry alluded to his tools having been taken by Ryan. We assumed Ryan was stealing from Larry for some time which is why there was a lock on the shed. That was also the episode where Larry said he wouldn't piss on Ryan if he was on fire. 

I kinda wish my brother would have had that same attitude towards his ex but he's too nice (or maybe internally he felt that way).  My nephews' mom stole a tv that was given to them as a christmas gift, any gaming systems that my brother or the kids had, entertainment stuff that went along with the tvs (my brother loves his electronics) her engagement ring multiple times - that my brother went and re-purchases(which thankfully didn't get turned into a wedding ring). My brother started locking the gaming systems and electronics into a large cabinet but he didn't think about how the back was just one of those flimsy false backs - probably because it was a LARGE cabinet and he figured she couldn't move it to get to the back - but she did and she just ripped that off to get to the stuff. 

[Tatum]

16 minutes ago, gunderda said:

I kinda wish my brother would have had that same attitude towards his ex but he's too nice (or maybe internally he felt that way).  My nephews' mom stole a tv that was given to them as a christmas gift, any gaming systems that my brother or the kids had, entertainment stuff that went along with the tvs (my brother loves his electronics) her engagement ring multiple times - that my brother went and re-purchases(which thankfully didn't get turned into a wedding ring). My brother started locking the gaming systems and electronics into a large cabinet but he didn't think about how the back was just one of those flimsy false backs - probably because it was a LARGE cabinet and he figured she couldn't move it to get to the back - but she did and she just ripped that off to get to the stuff. 

The exact same thing happened to my husband. He let his meth addicted brother move in with him because his brother was homeless and had nowhere else to go. While husband was at work, my brother in law went through his house and cleaned him out. He took the TV set, Xbox, games- anything he could find. My husband confronted him and my brother in law denied it was him. Despite the fact that it was there when my husband left for work, and gone when he came home, and my brother in law was the only one there all day. To this day, my BIL still insists someone must have come in the house and stolen everything while he was in the bathroom (he had no car and no way of leaving the house). That was like 12 years ago. My husband has written him off, but my father in law continues to get taken by him time and time again. Given how many times he's been through rehab, jail, or woken up in a ditch somewhere beat up with no recollection how he got there- this guy has no rock bottom.

[Brooklynista]

I thought my mother was an evil genius when her strung out brother came to stay with us. When it was time for her to leave to go to work, it was time for my uncle to get out as well. He'd  sit in the park all day and wait for her to come home lunchtime to feed him and then back outside he went.

It was twofold. One, she wasn't about to let him rob her blind. Two, she wasn't going to let some no good man lounge around the house and more than likely steal while she and my father went out every day and earned. Even if it was her own brother.

[SPLAIN]

How I wish Ryan's parents would have not let their emotions get in the way of setting boundaries. Ryan is doomed because he is surrounded by three people who are willing to enable his addiction in a myriad of ways. Still, they could have thrown him out and he still probably would not have ever hit rock bottom. Everyone has a different rock bottom when it comes to addiction. With Ryan, we will never know since he has the kind of people in his life who sit around as he drinks a beer right out of rehab and not utter one word about it.

[ghoulina]

I think the worst way they enable Ryan is by allowing the delusion about his addiction to continue. Mack had no idea he was on heroin, he did 30 days in rehab, he's clean now. Etc. Etc. No one is going to stand up and say, "BULL SHIT. I love you, but bullshit". No one holds him accountable. They let him blame anything and everything but himself. Maci is a trigger. Jen's crying is a trigger. He will NEVER get better if he doesn't take ownership. Beyond giving him money and a home - to the point where he's stealing from them - is the fact that they refuse to acknowledge, and thereby don't force HIM to acknowledge, the depth of his addiction. 

[AmandaUnbidden]

14 hours ago, ghoulina said:

I think the worst way they enable Ryan is by allowing the delusion about his addiction to continue. Mack had no idea he was on heroin, he did 30 days in rehab, he's clean now. Etc. Etc. No one is going to stand up and say, "BULL SHIT. I love you, but bullshit". No one holds him accountable. They let him blame anything and everything but himself. Maci is a trigger. Jen's crying is a trigger. He will NEVER get better if he doesn't take ownership. Beyond giving him money and a home - to the point where he's stealing from them - is the fact that they refuse to acknowledge, and thereby don't force HIM to acknowledge, the depth of his addiction. 

Exactly! Well said!

Also, those very well may be his triggers but it's also his responsibility to get hisself into therapy and figure out how he can deal with those triggers without using. It's not Jen's or Maci's or anyone else's responsibility to act differently. Ryan has to learn that people are going be who they are and do what they want, and he has no control over that. He has to learn that he can only control himself and his response to what happens or how someone acts. Just because those are his triggers doesn't mean those people have to change anything. Ryan has to change his responses.

Knowing those are his triggers should be his first step in learning how to deal with them. Instead, it sounds like he is just blaming his using on other people. Not good. And this is exactly why he needs more long term therapy to understand this completely. 

[GreatKazu]

Ryan is using the triggers as his crutch. He is placing blame and putting the guilt on his enablers. Classic addict behavior. There is this cycle just going around and around. The Edwards cannot cop to the truth. They are in denial. Ryan has them believing he is clean while at the same time he tells them his list of triggers which happen to be them. Don't set me off because when I relapse, it will be YOUR fault. Ryan knows he is not clean. He has to set things in motion to make his enablers feel responsible for that moment his addiction rears its ugly head to them. It is like Mr. Toad's Wild Ride (Disneyland) where they are all going around and around in this erratic circle. 

[kokapetl]

A 21 or 30 day stint in a clinic is not nothing.

[ghoulina]

5 minutes ago, Kokapetl said:

A 21 or 30 day stint in a clinic is not nothing.

No, it's not. And I don't believe anyone here has said that it is. 

But first, let's start with that time - was it 21 or 30? He's got people exaggerating and saying 30, but it was 21. Some may say, "po-tay-to/po-tah-to", but it just speaks to the whole atmosphere of denial. Why are they trying to make it sound like he spent more time there than he did? Because they know it wasn't enough. 

Yes, it's better than nothing, but he was (is?) using HEROIN. Most people will agree that a heroin addiction requires something much more intense than a 21 stay in rehab. He's been asked several times what's he has been doing since he got out, and every time he mumbles something about still talking to his counselor. Was this a counselor from the rehab facility? Does he not see someone local? Is he in any type of recovery program? Does he have any mentors or sponsors? I know we only get a glimpse of his life, but I doubt. 

All I see is that he's back on reality TV, drinking beer and surrounding himself with the same enablers. He is fighting for his LIFE here, and everyone seems more concerned with fighting Maci on custody. Here's an idea- how about nailing down a plan for getting clean (don't think he is) and STAYING clean, before causing any more upheaval in your life. 

I wish Ryan the best, I really do. Heroin is no joke. My cousin was an addict for years and almost died. He has now been clean about 3 years and I'm so proud of him. But we all know the statistics. Ryan will HAVE to get real with himself, and people in his life will HAVE to get real, if he's going to beat this. 

[TeenMomAngerMgmt]

48 minutes ago, Kokapetl said:

A 21 or 30 day stint in a clinic is not nothing.

Compared to how long this addiction has been going on? And with no real after care plan? And no significant changes in his life afterwards? It doesn’t seem that life altering to me. 

[lezlers]

On ‎12‎/‎10‎/‎2017 at 5:19 PM, AmandaUnbidden said:

You know I was thinking about how funny this whole thing is with Ryan. We've had this forum labeled "Ryan, What the hell happened to him?" forever. Yet his baby mama, nor his live in gf, nor his parents had a clue he had a problem. ?

I know a lot of posters have pointed that out before but I was just thinking of the ridiculousness of it all. 

To Maci & Taylor, Mackenzie, and Jen & Larry, we viewers are not fucking stupid. Stop trying to pull one over on us and own your shit!

 

Oh and Larry? Either spill what you have on Maci or STFU! I hate when people say that cryptic stuff. It's like those vague fb posts. 

Right?  Or like the people who "check in" at the hospital without saying anything or just saying something super cryptic like "ouch."  Attention whore, much?

[DangerousMinds]

It's the insurance industry that dictates the length of most addiction treatments, unfortunately.  Same with eating disorder treatment. And most are woefully too short and ineffective.

[lezlers]

On ‎12‎/‎11‎/‎2017 at 0:12 PM, Tatum said:

I am really curious too! I don't think it's sadness over being a bad father to Bentley or missing time with him. 

 

In an earlier scene, Maci talks about bringing Bentley to give Ryan his father's day present, and Ryan told Bentley thanks, and to go play (somewhere away from him). Now, this is Maci, who is a somewhat unreliable narrator, but if the above is true, it does not appear that Ryan has exactly turned over a new leaf when it comes to interacting with Bentley.

 

I honestly don't think Ryan enjoys being a father. I think he cares about Bentley and doesn't want to see him hurt or upset, but if he hadn't had an oops, I think Ryan would have been someone who declared that they didn't want kids, ever.

I totally agree with this.  Ryan never wanted to be a dad and still doesn't.  At BEST, he considers Bentley to be a little brother he's sort of fond of.  But that's the extent of it and that's really sad.  Kind of like Jenelle and Jace.   The only way Ryan is having any more children is if he's tricked into it which, given Ryan's smarts, probably wouldn't be too hard.

On ‎12‎/‎11‎/‎2017 at 1:05 PM, Bridget said:

This!!!

And it's also why he should have stayed in Rehab longer - for the therapeutic aspects! He would never go see someone on his own to deal with his additional issues,  but if he was "forced to participate" while he was there, it would have done him a world of good to have stayed and gleaned as much as possible during his 1:1 sessions.

I've never been to rehab, nor do I know anyone who has, but from what I understand, there's a lot of therapy/group meetings that can/do involve family members at times. It's too bad Ryan ended up in TX (do we know why that is?) because he could have done some great things in therapy and learned some great coping skills had he even had a session or two with his parents (maybe someone would have told them not to give him need upon his return?!?!). I don't know if kids are allowed into a rehab center, but I'd imagine that even a session outside & disguised as "visiting time" with Bentley would have given the doctors so much more information about how to help Ryan.

And what type of place does not even have a sample template for "basic aftercare", especially when someone leaves one week early?

(If anyone knows, I am genuinely interested!)

I was wondering that as well.  I've very familiar with rehab centers and even county run centers have mandatory aftercare, usually for 6 months.  I've never seen any rehab facility that just let's you out after 20 days with no plan in place and considers you good to go.   Doesn't happen.  Not if you've got the money to pay for it, anyway.

[lezlers]

On ‎12‎/‎11‎/‎2017 at 9:15 PM, GreatKazu said:

Many people noted Ryan had needle marks on his arms and legs at various times throughout the last couple of seasons. I guess they were right. 

Maci can kiss my ass about not knowing about Ryan's drug problem. For almost two years now viewers have called him out as a drug user. And the people who see him in person and more often than the viewers didn't do anything to protect Bentley? 

Did Maci ever claim to not know he had a drug problem?  I'm not understanding the point being made here.  She was the one who brought it out on the show, so obviously she DID suspect.  It should also be noted that for quite a bit of time she said she never even saw Ryan.  She dropped Bentley off at Jen and Larry's for visitation.  She said many weekends went by where Ryan didn't even come by to see Bentley when he was there.  Everyone knew it was Larry and Jen's weekend, not Ryan's.  When Ryan got with Mac she urged him to take more of an active role with Bentley because she seemed to hope Mac was a stabilizing force.  When she heard Ryan was in a bad way she brought it out on the show.   I don't know what more she should've done.  I know you think she should've gone to court but I disagree for the reasons I've stated in various posts.  So other than starting a custody case when she was the one with sole legal and physical custody, I'm not sure what more you wanted from her?

Edited December 16, 2017 by lezlers

[FairyDusted]

I had forgotten about insurance limits in my post about Rehab.  I hadn't considered that. Also my experiences were in the 80's. Wow! I'm old! Fuck it. I still like my smoke. 

[GreatKazu]

On ‎12‎/‎16‎/‎2017 at 0:37 PM, lezlers said:

Did Maci ever claim to not know he had a drug problem?  I'm not understanding the point being made here.  She was the one who brought it out on the show, so obviously she DID suspect.  It should also be noted that for quite a bit of time she said she never even saw Ryan.  She dropped Bentley off at Jen and Larry's for visitation.  She said many weekends went by where Ryan didn't even come by to see Bentley when he was there.  Everyone knew it was Larry and Jen's weekend, not Bentley's.  When Ryan got with Mac she urged him to take more of an active role with Bentley because she seemed to hope Mac was a stabilizing force.  When she heard Ryan was in a bad way she brought it out on the show.   I don't know what more she should've done.  I know you think she should've gone to court but I disagree for the reasons I've stated in various posts.  So other than starting a custody case when she was the one with sole legal and physical custody, I'm not sure what more you wanted from her?

My recollection is Maci ONLY brought up the drug issue after Ryan himself outed himself with his DUI on camera. I don't know how long this charade would have gone on with all of these people if that had not happened.

What do I want from Maci? I would like for her to pursue the courts so that Ryan has PERSONAL ACCOUNTABILITY. Ryan needs to face the consequences. But no one wants to lay out the boundaries. Boundaries are so important when dealing with an addict. He should be held accountable by the court system. Anyone who knows about addiction knows personal accountability is essential in recovery. Accountability comes in many forms. 

Maci may not want any fingers pointed at her and this is why she is not pursuing it through the courts, but his accountability has to start somewhere and with someone. To piggy-back with what  @ghoulina pointed out, there has been some questionable comments made about Ryan's so-called stint in rehab. The denial and delusions are running rampant with Jen, Larry, Ryan, and Mackenzie. Big time. They all need a big dose of reality to be slapped upside their stupid heads. They all need to be held accountable. Finger-pointing be damned. 

Regarding Maci not seeing Ryan all that often, it would be convenient for her to say such a thing on camera much like how convenient it was for her to say she didn't know she was pregnant while her stomach area clearly showed she was at least four months pregnant and drinking. Even the Edwards have been lying on camera and are only now admitting to knowing for "a long time."  Maci will say and do things for the sake of appearance. She has lied far too many times for me to take her seriously. PCOS anyone? She has no credibility in my eyes. Maci may not have seen Ryan that often, but I sincerely doubt she never saw him at all for three years or that she never heard any rumors or talk about Ryan from other people. I cannot fathom that being the case.  That is so far-fetched. 

If Maci was aware of Ryan's first rehab stint, why was she so adamant Ryan spend more time with Bentley? And why did she allow Ryan to even spend time with him? We know Jen would ask Maci if she could take Bentley here and there including being around Ryan, but Maci didn't seem to have an issue or concern. 

For argument's sake, if Maci was in the dark and clueless about Ryan's drug issue, why has she not raised hell to the Edwards? I know if the people who were watching my children on a regular basis, including the child of the addict, had withheld such information, I'd be furious. I'd be demanding answers and I'd be speaking about it to my spouse and my attorney.  Those people knew their son was an addict and didn't inform me, which I have a right to know so I can make an informed decision about the welfare of my son, the very child those people would take to that addict's home on a regular basis. That is what I would be shouting on camera. I know Maci has a special relationship with these people, but Bentley's needs should be a priority.  If Maci feels comfortable enough with not going to court, that is her decision to make. She has to be the one to live with her decision and continue to live with the drama that comes with not pursuing it through the courts such as the verbal insults being lobbied at her.  How Maci chooses to handle it is not how I would handle it.  I would seek full primary custody with no visitation whatsoever to the addict unless it was supervised through the courts. Until then, the addict would have to have to show clear and definite strides in his sobriety, he is in post-treatment, he is attending regular meetings, and all that is necessary for an addict to become clean and maintain that sobriety. I say this as someone who had to personally do exactly that above. Other people can be enablers, I chose not to be one of them. 

Edited December 18, 2017 by GreatKazu

[Jeanne222]

Maci is NOT Ryan's keeper!  She is ONLY his baby momma.

Her responsibility is to keep Bentley safe.

[lezlers]

15 minutes ago, GreatKazu said:

My recollection is Maci ONLY brought up the drug issue after Ryan himself outed himself with his DUI on camera. I don't know how long this charade would have gone on with all of these people if that had not happened.

What do I want from Maci? I would like for her to pursue the courts so that Ryan has PERSONAL ACCOUNTABILITY. Ryan needs to face the consequences. But no one wants to lay out the boundaries. Boundaries are so important when dealing with an addict. He should be held accountable by the court system. Anyone who knows about addiction knows personal accountability is essential in recovery. Accountability comes in many forms. 

Maci may not want any fingers pointed at her and this is why she is not pursuing it through the courts, but his accountability has to start somewhere and with someone. To piggy-back with what  @ghoulina pointed out, there has been some questionable comments made about Ryan's so-called stint in rehab. The denial and delusions are running rampant with Jen, Larry, Ryan, and Mackenzie. Big time. They all need a big dose of reality to be slapped upside their stupid heads. They all need to be held accountable. Finger-pointing be damned. 

Regarding Maci not seeing Ryan all that often, it would be convenient for her to say such a thing on camera much like how convenient it was for her to say she didn't know she was pregnant while her stomach area clearly showed she was at least four months pregnant and drinking. Even the Edwards have been lying on camera and are only now admitting to knowing for "a long time."  Maci will say and do things for the sake of appearance. She has lied far too many times for me to take her seriously. PCOS anyone? She has no credibility in my eyes. Maci may not have seen Ryan that often, but I sincerely doubt she never saw him at all for three years or that she never heard any rumors or talk about Ryan from other people. I cannot fathom that being the case.  That is so far-fetched. 

If Maci was aware of Ryan's first rehab stint, why was she so adamant Ryan spend more time with Bentley? And why did she allow Ryan to even spend time with him? We know Jen would ask Maci if she could take Bentley here and there including being around Ryan, but Maci didn't seem to have an issue or concern. 

For argument's sake, if Maci was in the dark and clueless about Ryan's drug issue, why has she not raised hell to the Edwards? I know if the people who were watching my children on a regular basis, including the child of the addict, had withheld such information, I'd be furious. I'd be demanding answers and I'd be speaking about it to my spouse and my attorney.  Those people knowingly knew their son was an addict and didn't inform me, which I have a right to know so I can make an informed decision about the welfare of my son, the very child those people would take to that addict's home on a regular basis. That is what I would be shouting on camera. I know Maci has a special relationship with these people, but Bentley's needs should be a priority.  If Maci feels comfortable enough with not going to court, that is her decision to make. She has to be the one to live with her decision and continue to live with the drama that comes with not pursuing it through the courts such as the verbal insults being lobbied at her.  How Maci chooses to handle it is not how I would handle it.  I would seek full primary custody with no visitation whatsoever to the addict unless it was supervised through the courts. Until then, the addict would have to have to show clear and definite strides in his sobriety, he is in post-treatment, he is attending regular meetings, and all that is necessary for an addict to become clean and maintain that sobriety. I say this as someone who had to personally do exactly that above. Other people can be enablers, I chose not to be one of them. 

You do know that she HAS primary custody with no visitation, right?  That's kind of the whole reason why I keep saying she'd be dumb to go to court.  Ryan has no visitation rights.  He has nothing because he's never gone to court.  Why in gods name would Maci mess with that and bring him to court?  That don't make no sense! (as mama dawn would say.)   That's what I keep trying to explain in various posts.   Also, Ryan's last stint in rehab was in 2012.  That was five years ago.  It's quite possible Maci thought rehab actually, you know, worked.  I'm not going to shame her for allowing Bentley to keep visiting Jen and Larry and allowing him to maintain a relationship with them.  We all know THEY'RE the ones with the informal visitation agreement, not Ryan.  

Edited December 16, 2017 by lezlers

[Jeanne222]

3 minutes ago, lezlers said:

You do know that she HAS primary custody with no visitation, right?  That's kind of the whole reason why I keep saying she'd be dumb to go to court.  Ryan has no visitation rights.  He has nothing because he's never gone to court.  Why in gods name would Maci mess with that and bring him to court?  That don't make no sense! (as mama dawn would say.)   That's what I keep trying to explain in various posts.   Also, Ryan's last stint in rehab was in 2012.  That was five years ago.  It's quite possible Maci thought rehab actually, you know, worked.  I'm not going to shame her for allowing Bentley to keep visiting Jen and Larry and allowing him to maintain a relationship with them.  We all know THEY'RE the ones with the informal visitation agreement, not Ryan.  

I suspect Maci must know Ryan is using again and he cannot nor will not submit to that offer of the $400 test.

She's ever vigilant now.  She knows her role is to keep her son safe.

I'll go so far as to say they all know he's using again.  If any of them thought Ryan was clean they would have publicly had him tested.  They didn't.

 

Only Maci to protect her son.

Instead of wailing on her we should be applauding her actions!

[GreatKazu]

18 minutes ago, lezlers said:

You do know that she HAS primary custody with no visitation, right?  That's kind of the whole reason why I keep saying she'd be dumb to go to court.  Ryan has no visitation rights.  He has nothing because he's never gone to court.  Why in gods name would Maci mess with that and bring him to court?  That don't make no sense! (as mama dawn would say.)   That's what I keep trying to explain in various posts.   Also, Ryan's last stint in rehab was in 2012.  That was five years ago.  It's quite possible Maci thought rehab actually, you know, worked.  I'm not going to shame her for allowing Bentley to keep visiting Jen and Larry and allowing him to maintain a relationship with them.  We all know THEY'RE the ones with the informal visitation agreement, not Ryan.  

There was an informal agreement drawn up when Maci pursued child support after Ryan missed some payments back in 2012 when the excuse he gave to her was that he was unemployed. Maci called the support enforcement agency and was told they needed to file a contempt order. When Maci visited with a mediator, she was upset because Ryan had asked for one extra day of visitation. This all happened during the time Maci lived with Kyle. 

If there is no visitation in place at all, I'd totally see your point. I am going by what I recall happened five years ago. I'd love if someone can produce that scene from that episode. I just know Maci was in an office and being upset at the idea of Ryan requesting one day more to his visitation which meant Maci would have to drive Bentley to Ryan's parents' home because she lived further away after moving. 

 

 

24 minutes ago, Jeanne222 said:

Maci is NOT Ryan's keeper! 

No one posted such a thing. 

Edited December 16, 2017 by GreatKazu

[Jeanne222]

7 minutes ago, GreatKazu said:

There was an informal agreement drawn up when Maci pursued child support after Ryan missed some payments back in 2012 when the excuse he gave to her was that he was unemployed. Maci called the support enforcement agency and was told they needed to file a contempt order. When Maci visited with a mediator, she was upset because Ryan had asked for one extra day of visitation. This all happened during the time Maci lived with Kyle. 

If there is no visitation in place at all, I'd totally see your point. I am going by what I recall happened five years ago. I'd love if someone can produce that scene from that episode. I just know Maci was in an office and being upset at the idea of Ryan requesting one day more to his visitation which meant Maci would have to drive Bentley to Ryan's parents' home because she lived further away after moving. 

 

 

No one posted such a thing. 

But many have those expectations.  I shall forever point each one out.

Ryan is not maci's responsibility.  He has parents and a wife.

 

Maci is Bentleys mother and protector!

[GreatKazu]

3 minutes ago, Jeanne222 said:

But many have those expectations.

I am not seeing anyone posting Maci is Ryan's responsibility at all. For damn sure I am not implying such a thing. 

[DangerousMinds]

Meanwhile she continues to text while driving . . .with Bentley in the car! Not a great protector.

Edited December 17, 2017 by DangerousMinds

[GreatKazu]

3 minutes ago, DangerousMinds said:

Meanwhile she continues to text while driving . . .

I know, right?

How much of a protector is Maci when she puts her children in harm's way? Ryan got a whole lot of flak from Maci and the viewers for not putting Bentley in his car seat. She sat there and chewed him out for not looking out for Bentley's safety. Who was looking out for Bentley and his sibling when she had her leg up on the driver's seat and texted while driving 40 m.p.h.?