Explain it to Me Like I'm Lily: Recaps for the Disenchanted

[movinon]

 

Nick drops by the cottage with Faith WITHOUT CALLING because he has a huge night at the club.  Sharon eagerly agrees to watch Faith.  I don’t blame her for that, but act a little cool, okay?

Of course he does, because there's no possibility that Sharon is busy or out for the evening, right?  I would have loved it if she had been entertaining dude, Joe Clark, but I don't think anyone's reading our board right now.  By the way, is the print in this recap smaller than usual, or am I going off the rails again?  I couldn't find a way to make the font bigger, so I copied and pasted it into a word document and made it bigger there. Just had to have my fix - thanks, peach.

Edited February 19, 2015 by movinon

[peach]

Mon, Feb 16   What’s In The Briefcase?

 

Neil angrily informs everyone on the plane that he can see EVERYTHING.  “Dad?” says Lily uncertainly.  “That’s right, baby girl, my vision finally came back,” he says, glaring at Devon and Hilary.  Lily throws her arms around him, crying.  “That’s wonderful,” Hilary manages to get out.  Jill says that’s fantastic news, but she thought he said it was impossible.  Yeah, he thought a LOT of things were impossible, too.  “But then, one day, I opened my eyes.  One day, I started seeing shapes.  Then I saw shadows.  Until finally, I saw the light,” he hisses. Cane is seriously bummed out.  He looks at Devon, like wtg, asshole.  Devon looks like someone ripped up all his Pokemon cards.  Neil points at him.  “And what a sight it was.  My lying son, in bed, with my cheating wife.”  GASP!!!

 

Replay of Fen saying Never Have I Ever committed murder, and Austin stomping outside.  Summer goes after him.  Noah asks what that was about.  Mariah says Fen must have hit a nerve.  “Wait, do you guys think maybe…Austin has committed murder?!” says Abby.  Sure, and then he blew his whole cover by pouting during a drinking game.

 

Billy walks in while Chelsea is holding Sad Adam.  Billy, heeeey, Adam brought over some wine, and then he got upset.  Um, what were they talking about?  “We were talking about Delia,” he says solemnly. 

 

SAGE LOVES BARTENDING!  Nikki shows up.  She’s going to celebrate with Victor later, so she’s just checking to see if Nick’s in a funk over Sharon.  Oh, he’s doing a lot better these days, he found someone new to kiss his ass.  Dylan comes in.  He says Avery’s coming later, she had some business she had to take care of first.

 

Jack and Avery sit at the club discussing Phyllis’ case.  Wow, the luxurious club is really dead for Valentine’s Day.  Avery says Christine is looking to put the trial on the docket right away.  They have a week, maybe less, because they take the right to a speedy trial pretty damn seriously in this town.  If Phyllis hadn’t fired her, she could be running interference, and of course, no other lawyer would be able to delay a trial.  Jack says Phyllis is her own worst enemy. 

 

Avery says they need to get a judge to issue an order for a new psych eval.  Jack wonders if they can get an expert to testify about the effects of magic coma juice.  Medical experts??  Don’t be RIDICULOUS.  Avery’s plan is the ONLY WAY.  They need to publicly trigger an irrational response in Phyllis so random people can testify about THAT instead.  Avery is the one who needs to be locked up at this point.  Jack’s not sure he can do this to the woman he loves.  But people can testify that Phyllis is not the same person she was before the coma!  So, he’s the one who has to push her over the edge?!  “You’re the trigger, Jack.”  “Avery, I’ve already hurt her so much.  You’re asking me to hurt her AGAIN.”  No, she’s asking him to keep her out of prison.  Jack says clearly she’s not in her right mind, or she wouldn’t be putting her fate in VICTOR’S hands.

 

Phyllis receives a bouquet of flowers at the ranch.  The card says “I’m not giving up on you, Red.  Don’t give up on us.”  She ponders.  Victor reminds her that Jack had her committed.  She remembers their last Valentine’s Day together.  He planned a big, romantic evening and insisted they were more than just friends, that she was lying to herself about her feelings.  Now she’s more confused than ever.  “I’m furious at Jack..but I still love him very, very much.  Maybe I should give him a call.”  Victor’s like, whoa, “before you do that, remember that he betrayed you.  I have other plans for you.”  Phyllis is really between a rock and a hard place right now.

 

Adam sadly tells Billy he heard that today was his daughter’s birthday.  Then maybe GTFO out of his house. Oh, wait, it’s Adam’s house.  This is complicated.  “And that shook you up?” questions Billy.  Well, that, coupled with the bummer that he and Sage can’t have kids.  “It’s disappointing, but mourning the loss of something you never had is not the same,” adds Adam.  Billy miraculously empathizes anyway, because his kids mean so much to him, including Connor, that he can imagine how hard that would be to face.  “Go find your wife,” smiles Chelsea.  He and Sage should be together tonight.  This holiday will help him remember why he first fell in love.  He looks at her.  “I do remember,” he says in his wistful little boy way.  He leaves. 

 

Chelsea feels awful.  “Why, cuz the guy was crying on your shoulder?” says Billy.  Aww, come on, his wife left him alone on Valentine’s Day, and he was hurt!  “Who knew Gabriel Bingham was so sensitive?” she says admiringly.  Billy says he left her alone today, too.  That’s different.  Does he want to talk about it?  Well, Billy had a teaching moment with Ghost Delia.  He learned he has a choice to make, one that will affect their future.

 

Nikki asks if Dylan and Avery have set a wedding date, now that the coffee house problem’s been instantly solved.  Well, he wants to, but apparently they canceled their elopement, and she has to deal with her sister’s legal problems.  “Ah, Phyllis, of course,” says Nikki.  She ruins everything.  Nikki says there’s always going to be someone needing Dylan’s opinion, and Avery’s, too.  Dylan is really booked on offering opinions.  But he can’t ask Avery to ignore her sister’s problems.  Nikki says they’ll have to find a way around that.  Don’t let anything interfere with his happiness.  JOE walks in.  Dylan bristles.  Nikki says let HER handle this!  Lol  She tells Joe they were just discussing the wonderful outcome of his real estate deal with her husband.  Joe’s all whatever.  It was just another transaction.  He has other pursuits he’s concentrating on.  Have a wonderful evening. 

 

Joe walks up to Ashley.  He tells her she’s looking spectacular.  He’s extremely bewildered that she’s alone on Valentine’s Day.  He seems to be alone as well.  “An invitation, perhaps?  Because I certainly would enjoy the company of a ravishing blonde tonight.”  She appreciates the compliment, but she doesn’t think she’s the ravishing blonde he’s referring to.  She gestures toward idiot Avery who’s walking in with Jack.  Jack thanks her for bringing him here so he doesn’t have to go home to an empty house.  OMG, Victor walks in with Phyllis.  Avery says that opportunity they’ve been looking for to publicly humiliate Phyllis just presented itself!

 

Lily asks what Neil’s talking about.  “Why don’t we talk about what was going on behind my back while I was in the dark.  And what I STILL wouldn’t know if I hadn’t seen with my own two eyes my wife and son together, NAKED IN BED.”  Hilary sits down with her face in her hand.  Jill asks Devon if this is true?  He nods.  Hilary asks Neil if they can just talk alone?  “Really?  Oh, now you want alone time, so you can lie to my face, again?”  Hey, she tried to tell the truth, okay, she tried SO many times!  Neil just shakes his head in disgust. 

 

Lily walks up to Devon, weeping.  Is this true?  “Yeah, it is,” whimpers Devon.  WHACK!!  She smacks his face!  “HOW COULD YOU?!  YOU’RE DISGUSTING!” she shrieks.  Cane holds her while she collapses, weeping.  Hilary makes sad faces.  Devon defends himself.  “We didn’t intend to have this happen, and I never meant to hurt any of you, okay?”  OKAY, YOU GUYS??  GEEZ! 

 

Oh, Jill knows how it happened.  “How it happened was, she was lying in wait!  You were ready, eager, and willing to play Bang The Billionaire, weren’t you?” she snaps at Hilary.  “Jill, that’s enough,” says idiot Devon.  “I’LL TELL YOU WHEN IT’S ENOUGH!  I expected this from HER, she’s sneaky and she’s devious!  BUT YOU are KATHERINE’S GRANDSON!  And you’re sleeping with your father’s wife?!”  How the hell did HE end up getting all the money??  “We’re in love with each other, Jill,” he says defiantly.  Lily can’t even.  “In love?  Is THAT what you told him?” she asks Hilary.  “That’s how I FEEL!” snaps Hilary.  “It’s how we BOTH feel!  We want to be together,” whines Devon.  Neil smirks.  “Nah.  That’s not happening.”

 

“Dad…I’m sorry,” whimpers Devon.  “You ain’t sorry.  You made a fool out of me, son.”  Devon insists he wasn’t trying to make a fool out of him, OR hurt him.  “No? While I was walking around with a cane, learning Braille, living my life in a black hole…you’re stripping down my wife!  You’re taking her to bed!  And you didn’t want to HURT ME?  How long has this been going on?  HOW LONG?!?!”

 

Hilary says…a while.  Uh, can you be more specific? Weeks, months, before he lost his sight??  Devon says it doesn’t matter.  “YES, IT MATTERS.  What MATTERS is that I gave this woman EVERY CHANCE to walk away from our marriage!  Hilary, didn’t I?  DIDN’T I?!?!”  Hey, Neil, you don’t have to YELL at the woman who’s been cheating on you!  Hilary says it’s okay.  Yes, he did tell her, more than once.  Then why didn’t she just GO!  “Do you know what you did by staying? YOU HUMILIATED ME!”  Hilary says he NEEDED her!  He’d just lost his sight.  Uh, no, he needed a REAL WIFE! Someone to share his life with, his BED with. 

 

She wants them just to step away.  “Of course you do.  All of this is starting to make sense to me.  All the excuses, the tears.”  Hilary whines that it was killing her…that she couldn’t--  “That you couldn’t LOVE ME?  You couldn’t MAKE LOVE to me?  Because you were making love to MY SON, BEHIND MY BACK.”  Devon’s like, Neil, please.  Omg, Neil’s mind gets blown.  He remembers New York.  Omg, that was Devon’s ringtone because DEVON WAS RIGHT THERE ALL ALONG. “He was sleeping with you…hours before I slept with you.”  That’s super gross!  Lily jumps up and attacks Hilary! 

 

Cane and Devon pull them apart.  Cane is shouting for everyone to calm down, while Lily screams, “I KNEW she would do this to our family!  You marry my father and then seduce my brother?!”  How can she CALM DOWN, Cane?  They’ve been lying to them FOR MONTHS!!  Neil says none of this is news to Cane.  Lily’s stunned.  What’s he talking about?  Cane just stares.  “You knew about this affair!” Neil says, shoving him.  “Didn’t ya, Cane?”  Cane quietly admits he did.  Lily crumples.  “What?”  Good job, Devon.

 

Austin and Summer are back in the cabin.  It’s just that talking about murder reminded him of HIS MOM GETTING MURDERED.  Awkward.  Noah apologizes, they weren’t thinking.  Abby says for a second she thought they were all partying with a murderer.  Austin looks at her like she might be brain damaged.   Personally, I think Abby gets awfully salaciously excited about being around murderers.  “But, we are NOT,” says Mariah, so let’s continue the game.  Summer’s pretty gamed out, she thinks they’ll head back to Genoa City. 

 

Courtney arrives and tells them no one’s going anywhere.   There’s a huge snowstorm out there and the authorities want everyone to stay put.  Austin would rather stab himself in the eye, but they’re stuck now.  Abby brings out her special Valentine’s punch, and everyone has to try at least one glass.  Abby asks Mariah to help her get some glasses.  “Is THAT why I was invited to this party, so I could WORK it??”  Kevin clears his throat, so she has to do it.  “Being polite is BORING!” she complains.  Abby and Mariah go in the kitchen…and then.. A HAND pours a vial of something in the punch bowl!  Omg, please don’t let it be Hex, because I don’t want to see that kind of party.

 

Nikki storms up to Victor.  “You brought Phyllis here as your date?” she asks incredulously.  He doesn’t know what she’s talking about.  “Victor, it’s VALENTINE’S DAY.   You arrive at our son’s bar with That Woman on your arm??”  Victor says she’s lonely!  They were coming down to the bar to see their son, so he thought he’d bring her along, get her out of the house.  “Well, I agree, she SHOULD get out!”  Could she show some compassion?!  Lol  She knows he’s just sticking it to Jack.  Who, Victor??  This has nothing to do with JackAbbott.  “Even if there were the tiniest amount of truth to that, then there must be some OTHER self-serving reason, and no good will come of it!”  Victor says she couldn’t be more wrong.  She doubts that!  She really can’t take it anymore, Victor, she really can’t!! 

 

Sage joyfully brings a tray of drinks to some people, and Nikki sneaks one off the tray and starts downing it!  Wow, no one notices she just stole a drink.    Avery comes bopping by.  She’s in a super good mood for someone trying to drive her sister insane.  Joe stops her to say Happy Valentine’s Day.  She’s like, whatever, and joins Dylan.  Kissy kissy.  Dylan asks what her sister is doing with Victor??  “More importantly, what is Victor doing with my sister?”

 

Jack strolls up to Victor and Phyllis.  He’d like to have a word alone with his fiancée.  “Would you now?” says Victor.  Phyllis nods. “As  you wish,” says Victor, walking away.  Phyllis is looking all kinds of gorgeous in a one shouldered red dress.   She thanks Jack for the extraordinary flowers, but--  “If you’re not ready to come home, I just wish you’d stay somewhere else!  With Summer, Michael, anywhere but Victor’s.”  Phyllis says Victor is helping her.  Okay, so he dug up a miracle doctor, but it was only for his OWN benefit.  He has some nefarious plan for her staying with him, too.  “You think I don’t know Victor’s using me?” chides Phyllis.  “That’s all right.  I’m using him, too.”

 

She knows WHO Victor is, and he’s not going to take advantage of her, she promises.  But he does have the means and the power to help her set up a defense that doesn’t require being locked up in a mental institution.  “Trusting him even for that is dangerous,” insists Jack.  You don’t think she knows that?  “I don’t fully trust Victor.  If I did, I’d be…what’s the word?  Cray-zeee,” she sings.  She walks away.  Jack’s confused.  It’s almost like Phyllis isn’t crazy.

 

Ashley walks up to Victor.  “Guess I owe you a congratulations.  You win.  I’m pulling my product line.  You won’t have Hex’s competition anymore.”  Sounds legit.  There should only be one of everything.  Why sue the guy for infringement or anything.  She’ll just give up.  “I’llbedamned,” says Victor.  “What are you up to?”  She says sometimes it’s better to back out of a fight before the casualties get too great.  

 

Sage asks if she could bring Nikki a drink from the bar.  Yes, she whispers, she’d like a dry--  Nick walks up!  Hey, Mom, didja meet my new servant girl, Sage?  She has to get back to work, so what did she need, a dry…what?  OH, a DRY CLOTH.  She spilled something on her blouse.  Good save, Nikki.

 

Adam walks in.  Nick assumes he’s looking for Sage.  Yeah, something told him she’d be there.  He guessed right, says Nick cockily.  Adam notes those two have gotten pretty close.  “Look, Gabriel, it’s time for the charade to end,” bosses Nick.   She’s mine now, working for tips instead of a large inheritance.  Adam just looks really tired of this whole thing.

 

Billy says he has to accept that Adam is gone, and there’s not going to be any satisfaction.  Blowing him up just didn’t do it.  Blah Adam Adam Adam blah.  “He’s friggin’ HERE!  He’s IN this apartment.”  Um, you’re in HIS apartment, but whatever.   “He’s in YOU, he’s in CONNOR.”  Ugh, it’s so much Adam.  Chelsea asks what he’s chosen.  TO WHINE INCESSANTLY.

 

Speaking of whiners, Fen and Summer bicker about how well she knows or doesn’t know Austin.  That’s the whole purpose of marriage, Fen.  You spend the rest of your life finding out new things.  It also keeps you out of prison. 

 

Kevin sidles up to Mariah…sooo, he saw her drink when Summer said Never Have I Ever had crush on a best friend.  She saw HIM drink, too.   Hers was a crush in kindergarten.  Oh, well his was in second grade.   They flirt-smirk at each other.

 

Noah’s so glad Courtney made it to the party.  They kiss.  Whoa, Courtney’s dizzy from her long day and getting roofied.  They sit down.  The camera zooms in on the punch-packing punch.

 

Lily is devastated.  “You knew Devon was having an affair with Hilary?” she asks Cane.  Cane insists Devon SWORE it was over a long time ago.  “So, you knew a long time ago, but you didn’t tell me?”  Cane knew it would crush her, and Devon begged him to keep it between them.  “I AM YOUR WIFE, CANE!”   She turns away, crying.

 

Jill yells at Cane. “HOW could you keep a SECRET LIKE THAT?!  And you two,” she snaps at Devon and Hilary, “you’re just DISGUSTING.  It looks like we’re the only innocent ones here.”  Colin’s like, yeaaah.  “Jill, you’re obviously just as blind as I’ve been,” says Neil.  “Your husband is anything BUT innocent.  That sudden windfall of cash, Colin?”  Jill instantly does the math.  “OMG, you were BLACKMAILING Devon!”  Colin’s like what’s the big deal?  He has the money, and Jill needed it for the company.  “I need a husband I can trust!”  Everyone yells at everyone.

 

Devon and Hilary look on at the destruction they have wrought.  Hilary slowly walks over to Neil, while he pours a drink.  “I want you to know how sorry I am.  You were nothing but a good, decent  man to me.”  He sniffs his liquor.  “I was a good man.  I was the good man who took Devon in.  I raised him, I loved him as my own.  I was the good man who gave YOU a chance when nobody else in this town would.  They all wanted to chase you away.  THAT good man is gone, he’s dead.  You and my son killed him.”  He starts to drink.  “DAD!  Please don’t!” cries Lily.  “It’s too late, baby girl.  Way too late.”  He drinks.  Devon makes sad faces while every single thing he was warned about happens.

 

Blah Billy blah Adam blah.  He’s ditching his anger to embrace what makes him happy. They hug. He gives her a jewelry box.  Delia reminded him it’s okay to be happy on Valentine’s Day.  Let go of the darkness and let in the light.  Chelsea is the light.  Loving her is the best way to honor his daughter’s memory.

 

So, Adam assumes Sage told Nick about their marriage of convenience.  Yeah, she did.  Listen, it’s really not something Adam likes talking about.  Nick either.  So let’s have a drink!  So, the reason they got married…the money…is it worth it? judges the guy with a fucking TRUST FUND.  They should probably just be broke so Sage can bartend for Nick.  Sage interrupts.  She didn’t expect him here!  Well, his plans fell through.  “I was just sitting here talking to my good buddy, Nick.  He was just giving me some marital advice!”  Sage is like, great. 

 

Nikki stumbles around the bar.  Dylan notices!  She just shouldn’t have worn such high heels.  She’s worried about his reaction to that Joe Clark.  Does it really bother him that much that he was married to Avery, and slinks around 24/7?  Dylan knows he needs to get over it, but every time he sees that guy he wants to punch him in the face!  It’s like an addiction!  Nikki says maybe he inherited that.  He’s sorry for saying that, he knows she had a problem with alcohol.  “I still do, it’s, uh, a one day at a time sort of thing.”  Well, Dylan’s going to use her as his role model.  She managed to control her impulses, so he can stop punching Joe Clark.  A woman walks by with a drink, and Nikki starts drooling.  I guess somebody's getting punched soon.

 

Ashley tells Jack they’re going to beat Victor to the stores with Hex.  She just told him they’re pulling their product line.  “But we’re not,” says dumb Jack.  Of course they’re not.  But Victor will take extra time to perfect his product, while they work their asses off to get in stores first.  Jack thinks it’s an excellent idea, but do NOT underestimate Victor.  She won’t.

 

Avery walks up.  Jack thinks it’s going to be harder to provoke a reaction from Phyllis than he thought, with her acting all rational and everything.  “I just had a very lucid, VERY clear conversation with her about The Mustache.”  It’s almost like she’s sane.  It can’t enter Avery’s pea brain that she might be wrong, because they both know Phyllis is NOT herself right now.  Jack just has to find a way to prove it to Phyllis and the rest of the world.  He walks away.

 

Joe walks up.  Avery doesn’t want to take a stroll down memory lane.  He’ll prove he’s changed with a do-over.  To prove he’s a new man, he’ll BE a new man.  She says they CAN’T start over!  He just regrets they won’t get to know each other better.  He has a Valentine’s gift for her. “I don’t want it!” she exclaims.  He’s sure she will.

 

Lily tells Neil drinking won’t accomplish anything!  Oh, yes, it does. It’s already dulled his pain.  Jill surmises that Neil fell off the wagon before tonight.  “Why, yes, I did.  With good reason.”  Lily stares at Devon.  “Look at what you’ve done!  How can you live with yourself?!”  Neil tells Lily not to worry.  “They’ll get punished.  They will!”  Cane’s like, ummm, what does that mean?  “Did you really think you could betray me with no repercussions here?  That you would be able to ride off in the sunset and find happiness??”  Yep.  Devon says Neil has every right to be angry.  Thanks, Devon.  “And YOU, my son, have NO RIGHT to happiness!  YOU, and YOU, Hilary, blew up my world!  And NOW, you gon’ pay for it.”  Hilary’s like, Neil--  “NO.  You both are dead.  YOU’RE DEAD TO ME.”

 

Colin asks just what he means by that.  Neil sits down and grabs his shiny, silver briefcase like it’s The Precious.  Colin says he KNEW what they were up to, yet he came along anyway.  Was that to get them all alone in a confined space?  “What’s in the briefcase, Neil?” asks Colin suspiciously.  Dynamite?  A handgun?  The screenplay you're working on?

 

Nick asks Phyllis what this arrangement is she has with his dad??  Phyllis is really getting tired of people warning her about his father.  Then start heeding the warnings, and they’ll shut up.  She is doing what she can to defend herself from CRIMINAL charges, Nick, and Victor’s helping her.  “And Jack LOVES you,” he insists.  “Sometimes the people who love you the most, can hurt you the worst,” she reminds him.  Nick sighs.  Jack walks up.  Nick says to approach Phyllis at his own risk.  He walks away.

 

Jack tells Phyllis he’s just there to say good night.  He’s heading home already?  Not yet..he has..a meeting..with someone.  Doesn’t matter who.  “It’s Kelly, isn’t it?”  He grins like a boy skipping school.  Phyllis is like, WOW.  She was in a coma for just a few MONTHS before he started taking up with THAT slut.   But she’s only been away for just a FEW DAYS, so why doesn’t he tell her what he’s doing??  “WHAT are you DOING, Jack?!  You’re sending me flowers during the day, but you’re spending your nights with HER!”   Jack’s like GOTCHA!  He WASN’T going to see Kelly, but her irrational reaction just THINKING he was, while he TRIED TO MAKE HER THINK THAT, only proves what he’s been saying.  She is NOT herself!  Phyllis glares with the fire of a thousand suns.  “You set me up,” she hisses.  Jack looks surprised that she’s mad.  Lucifer looks on, smiling in the corner.  This is really getting too easy for him.

 

Kevin comes to on the floor of the cabin.  Everyone’s passed out.  He wakes up Noah.  What happened??  They all slowly wake up and try to figure out what’s happening.  Fen finds pwetty pwincess Summer sleeping on a velvet pillow on the floor.  She’s the tiredest.  Waaah.  “That punch was lethal.  It knocked us all out,” says Mariah.  Not all of us, says Noah, looking around.  WHERE’S AUSTIN?

 

Colin tells Neil to open the briefcase.  “Shut up, Colin!  You found out my son was having an affair with my wife, so you blackmailed him.”   Colin says whatever is in that briefcase is NOT GOOD for all of them.  Cane tells him to stop making it worse.  Lily says he would never hurt them.  They bicker.  Hilary also says Neil would never hurt them. She KNOWS him.  He’s like, bitch, please.  “Like I knew YOU?? HUH??”  Lily tells Dad just to SHOW them he’s not hurting them.  Neil starts freaking out.  Lily, he’s sorry.  “For WHAT?”  She’s the innocent one in all this.  He doesn’t mean to scare her,  he really is sorry.  Lily’s like wtf.  “Dad, WHAT is in the briefcase?!”  Do they really want to him to open this?  “Our lives are in it,” he whispers ominously.

 

Devon walks up and puts HIS STICKY PAWS on Neil’s briefcase.  Neil snatches it away.  “CHEATER!!!  This is MY briefcase!!”  <Peach actually laughs out loud>  Then tell them what’s inside, please!  “YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT’S IN THIS CASE?!”  A RED HERRING!!  The plane starts going down!

 

Billy gives Chelsea a diamond necklace.  She shows him the photo of the tea rose bush.  It’s the best ever.  This day turned out a lot better than she expected.  Just like she told Gabriel, it’s the perfect day to remember why they fell in love.  They make out.

 

Sage notes that Adam’s mooning over Chelsea.  Well, he loves her, Sage.  It’s killing him not being with her.  Maybe they can just get the hell out of there.  Oh, noes, it’s a competition to see whose emotional tampon she gets to be.  Nick wants her serving table 12 already!  They look thirsty!  She’s on it!!  Adam feels sorry for himself.

 

Joe’s gift for Avery is that he’s leaving town.  Her face falls.  Dylan watches.

 

Jack tells Phyllis she needs the help HE is offering, and not the kind Victor is promising.  “I don’t see being locked up as HELP.  And I cannot even believe you would set me up to see me snap! Why would you call that love?!” she sneers.  “I LOVE YOU.  Listen to ME.”  “I don’t wanna listen to you. You feed me lies, and you try to IRRITATE ME to the point that I’m lookin’ like I’m CRAZY!”  He grabs her arms.  It’s never going to get better if she keeps ignoring what the coma juice did to her!  “I AM NOT CRAZY!  I AM THE SANEST PERSON IN THIS ROOM!” she snaps, and storms off.  Gasp!  People stare!  Victor seems satisfied.  He goes after Phyllis, but Nikki stops him.  “Don’t you make this worse!”  “Don’t you worry about ME,” he says, and rushes after her.

 

Fen tucks pwetty pwincess in on the couch with a blanket.  Aww, pwetty pwincess is so tiwed.  Kevin comes in and says the snow is really coming down.  If Austin did go outside, he didn’t get far.  He’s really starting to get worried about the guy.  He opens the wardrobe to put his coat away and HORRORS!  Austin comes tumbling out!  Aww, poor tall, dark and dreamy.  :-(  Summer sleeps.

 

Neil clutches his briefcase while everyone tries to buckle in.  THE PLANE IS CRASHING!

Edited February 19, 2015 by peach

[movinon]

 

 

So, Adam assumes Sage told Nick about their marriage of convenience.  Yeah, she did.  Listen, it’s really not something Adam likes talking about.  Nick either.  So let’s have a drink!  So, the reason they got married…the money…is it worth it? judges the guy with a fucking TRUST FUND.  They should probably just be broke so Sage can bartend for Nick

This is perfect Nick-nonsense.  From the beginning of the evening, when he took Faith to Sharon without calling first, to the end where he is making out with Sage, while he doesn't even remember that his parents are buried in the rubble of his fine establishment.  No thought given to any of his children - as usual, it's just all about Nick.  Gabe and Sage should just give up their chance at the inheritance so that little Nicky can party with Sage.  God, I despise this creature from hell.

. 

 

 

[peach]

Of course he does, because there's no possibility that Sharon is busy or out for the evening, right?  I would have loved it if she had been entertaining dude, Joe Clark, but I don't think anyone's reading our board right now.  By the way, is the print in this recap smaller than usual, or am I going off the rails again?  I couldn't find a way to make the font bigger, so I copied and pasted it into a word document and made it bigger there. Just had to have my fix - thanks, peach.

 

No, it's smaller.  I accidentally posted without editing it, and when I fixed it, it was in the quote box for some weird reason.  I just left it like that because everything was being wonky.  lol

 

When I copy and past my recaps from Word, it loses all the spacing and italics and such,and I have to redo that part with the editor.

[movinon]

I really don't mind however you post, just as long as you keep doing it.  Even in another language, I'll find an interpreter if I have to.  Just keep on doing recaps - I watch the board for them every day. 

[peacheslatour]

I really don't mind however you post, just as long as you keep doing it.  Even in another language, I'll find an interpreter if I have to.  Just keep on doing recaps - I watch the board for them every day. 

THIS^^^^^^^^^^^

[Slowpokey]

This is perfect Nick-nonsense.  From the beginning of the evening, when he took Faith to Sharon without calling first, to the end where he is making out with Sage, while he doesn't even remember that his parents are buried in the rubble of his fine establishment.  No thought given to any of his children - as usual, it's just all about Nick.  Gabe and Sage should just give up their chance at the inheritance so that little Nicky can party with Sage.  God, I despise this creature from hell.

Hate him with the heat of a thousand suns!

[peacheslatour]

Hate him with the heat of a thousand suns!

So do I.  What a colossal douche bag!  Wait I take that back, douche bags serve a purpose.  Dickhead serves none.

[NinjaPenguins]

Your recap of the Flight of the Douchebags was everything I dreamed it would be and so much more, peach. Another classic!

[peach]

Tue, Feb 17     Sorry Doesn't Cut It

 

The plane has crashed in the dark, snowy wilderness.  Fires burn here and there.  Bodies lie about in the snow.  Hilary’s hand sticks out of the frozen wreckage.  No clue on the fate of the lobster and caviar.  The Winters Family has crashed and burned, y’all.

 

Meanwhile, back at the Abbott Cabin, Courtney is doing CPR on Austin.  Summer finally decides to wake up.  Noah tries to hold her back.  “AUSTIN!  AUSTIN!  AUSTIN!” she bleats like a goat.

 

Avery, Dylan, Nikki, and Nick are hanging around the bar at The Underground.  Ashley walks up and says she hopes Phyllis is okay.  “Gee, I don’t know,” bitches Nikki, “I mean, screaming I’M NOT CRAZY in a public place, and then tears out the front door while we’re all staring at her?!”  Event planner Kelly has crept into this party wearing a hot pink moiré dress.  Is moiré a thing again?  I guess not a damn soul is working at the GCAC tonight.  She’s holding back her laughter listening to this story.

 

Ashley admits that Phyllis isn’t the easiest person to be around right now, but maybe she needs their compassion.  Avery says she’s going through a lot right now, mostly caused by her.  Dylan wonders what Jack said to set her off like that.  “Did you notice how fast BOTH Jack and Victor TORE after her.  That was probably her plan from the very beginning!” exclaims Nikki.  Well, don’t you think she’s suffering, asks Ashley.  What about the suffering she’s CAUSING?  That list gets longer every day, and her poor brother is at the top of it!  She probably uses all the hot water, too.

 

Ashley notices Krazy Kelly walking away from the bar with her cell phone out.  Ash runs up to her.  “Now is not the time.  It’s only natural that you want to reach out to Jack, but I don’t think it’s helping your cause or him.  He has a lot of other things on his mind right now.”  Kelly smiles sweetly and says she’s right.

 

Sage clears tables and tells Adam she feels so sorry for that Phyllis woman, and Jack.  Adam says, yeah, and you can bet his bastard of a father is making a bad situation worse. 

 

Victor and Jack drag Phyllis back inside the crummy entryway, or the back door, or whatever part of this dump they’re in.  Jack is NOT letting her go out in blizzard conditions in her state of mind.  I would think her dress is really the issue.  For once, Victor thinks Jack is right.  You can’t wear one shoulder in the snow.  She’s safe right here.  FINE, YOU can go now, Jack.  What, she’s gonna stay with VICTOR?  “Excuse me?  You’re gonna badmouth me now, after what YOU have done to her?  Making everyone feel that she has lost it?  How far are you willing to go?!”  Jack flaps.  Avery made me do it!

 

Courtney stops the CPR and weeps.  “I’m sorry, Summer.”  Everyone’s freaking out.  Summer wails and screams, and screams and wails.  Noah says they can’t bring him back.  Austin’s DEAD!  Aw, man, I‘m gonna miss Malibu Austin.  “HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?!” cries Summer.  He probably lost the will to live during this party.

 

Cane is laid out on his back, staring wide eyed into the sky.  Is he dead?  Closer…closer…closer.  He blinks!  HE’S ALIVE!  With no broken bones or internal injuries!  He does have some blood running down his neck, though.  He’s wandering around in silence and shock.  Bodies are everywhere, but not the one he’s looking for, apparently.  “LILYYYY!!!” he bellows into the dark night.

 

Summer lies on Austin’s body and sobs.  Courtney says it looks like someone hit him hard enough on the head to kill him, and then put him in the wardrobe.  I think it would take all five of these little people to stuff giant Austin in there.   Kevin’s like, why?  Whoever did this had to know they’d find him.   Someone yells to please call 911.  WOW, GREAT IDEA 15 MINUTES LATER.  Noah’s on it!  Gasp!  The line’s dead!  No cell phone signals either!  They drag sobbing Summer to the couch.  Mariah’s losing it, too.  Noah, Fen, and Kevin decide to move the body so Summer doesn’t have to see it.  “STOP!  DON’T TOUCH HIM!” shouts Courtney. 

 

Phyllis and Jack argue over whether or not love includes locking someone up in Fairview or forcing an emotional outburst in public.  “I don’t want to hear another word!” snaps Phyllis.  “I want you out of my sight!  And I promise you, if you do NOT, I will run back out there, and there’s not a damn thing you can do about it!”  Except probably catch me within three yards.  He will GO.  But he’s warning you, Phyllis, he’s not going to give up fighting for you.  He leaves.

 

Victor materializes next to the men’s room and says she handled that beautifully!  He’s proud!  “I guess he forgot what a tough woman you are.”  So what now, says Phyllis.  She waltzes back in the bar and acts like nothing happened?  “Youuu bet,” says Victor.  “You walk in there with your head held high, and show them what you’re made of.”  He knows she can do it. 

 

Kelly stares at her phone and contemplates contacting Jack.  Then he walks right by!  She watches while Ashley asks if he’s okay.  Where’s Phyllis?  “She’s in the back with Victor.  I’M leaving.”  Ash offers to go with him, but he doesn’t want the company. He’s just gotta get out of there.

 

Sage and Adam were also watching.  “Show’s over for tonight,” comments Sage.  So is Adam going to take off, too?  Nope, he’s got a few things he’d like to say the old man.  He catches Ashley walking by and says he hopes her brother will be alright.  He introduces himself and explains he hasn’t met her at work yet.  Yep, she’s always in the lab!  He introduces his lovely wife, Sage.  Ashley is Neighbor Billy’s sister.  Of course!  NOW Ashley knows who he is.  She studies him intently with half a smile.  “Something wrong?” asks Adam.  “I don’t know, I just got a really weird feeling,” she says.  It’s called lust.  Blah blah Jabot is fantastic.  Nice to finally meet him, she says walking away.  It is nice, isn’t it?

 

Victor and Phyllis walk back in.  Adam sees his chance.  “Don’t do it,” whispers Sage.

 

Cane finds Jill.  She’s alive, but pretty beat up.  He helps her sit up.  Neil and Devon come stumbling around.  Geez, this plane just cracked open like an egg and gently dumped them all out.  Austin had a better chance crashing into a hillside. Jill’s at least holding her arm funny.  Neil says it’s a miracle they lived.  Cane can’t find Lily!  Jill calls for Colin, and he sits up like he’s been reanimated.  They find Hilary under a wing of the plane.  “Why can’t I feel anything?” she mumbles.  Well, because you’re buried in snow, for starters.  Cane wanders around screaming LIILLLLYYYYY!!!

 

Colin used the commercial break to make himself a sling for his arm.  He doesn’t have a cell phone signal.  The others tend to Hilary under the wing.  Cane finds a body in the plane wreckage!  Meh, it’s just the pilot.  He’s dead.  Nobody cares.  Neil tells Devon to help Cane find his sister, and he’ll help Hilary.

 

Avery and Dylan sit in her previously reserved booth, also of pretend Aspen fame.  Joe walks up and says he’s leaving town.  “You must be happy to hear that, McAvoy.”  Avery runs off to talk to Phyllis, and Dylan just stares at Joe. 

 

Avery is SO glad Phyllis is back!  “Why, is it your turn to make me lose it now?”  Avery says she doesn’t understand.  “Oh, I understand perfectly.  That was a well-orchestrated plan to make me look bad in front of a crowd of people,” says Phyllis.  Well, I wouldn’t say it was WELL orchestrated.  Victor chimes in.  “Avery, you embarrassed your sister in front of allll these people.  Shame on you,” he scolds before walking away.  Avery can’t believe she just got shamed by Victor Newman.  Phyllis notes that she’s not denying it.  “Did you and Jack enjoy yourselves while you plotted to stab me in the back?” 

 

Avery is WORRIED about you, Phyllis.  “What do you think is going to happen when Christine gets you on the stand and rips into you?  You honestly think you can keep it together when the DA asks you questions, because I DON’T THINK YOU CAN!  Not after what you did tonight!”  Bar arguments are JUST like court proceedings.  NEWSFLASH, counselor.  Phyllis can’t be forced to testify against herself.  It’s called the Bill Of Rights, LOOK IT UP.  Phyllis says it’s a good thing Avery’s not her lawyer, if this is how she treats clients.  Avery says she’s not being fair.  WAAAH!  Phyllis asks if she realize what she DID to her tonight?  “You talk about tainting the jury pool!  I ought to sue you and Jack from here to kingdom come!”  Avery thinks the fact that Phyllis sees her and Jack as the enemy proves she needs help!  Phyllis doesn’t want to hear that phrase anymore!

 

Kelly comes out of the ladies room and sees Jack in the hallway.  She thought he left!  “I came back,” he says, happy to see her.  She heard about the fight with Phyllis.  Is there anything she can do to help?  Jack doesn’t want to talk about it there.  Maybe they can find someplace a little more private.  “Lead the way,” she says with eyes shining.

 

Courtney says they are NOT moving Austin’s body!  It’s a crime scene, and they’ll be destroying evidence!  Kevin’s like, what, you think we’re purposely trying to screw up an investigation?  “One of you might be,” says Courtney.  “ARE YOU SERIOUS?” shouts Mariah.  It’s Crime Scene 101, you DON’T move the body!   That sets Summer off some more. AUSTIN IS NOT A BODY, HE’S HER HUSBAND!  And nobody is going to touch him!  Uncontrollable sobbing for some time.

 

Summer can’t believe Austin is dead, or that anyone in this room---  “But someone did,” says Fen.  Yeah, but none of them remember what happened, says Courtney, because they were all out of it.  “Because somebody spiked the punch,” Noah says angrily.  Kevin’s like what are you looking at ME for?  Abby’s the one who did it!  “Not to mention SHE is the one who INVITED us here,” says Mariah suspiciously.  Abby says it was a simple get-together, that’s it.  And she doesn’t go around drugging people!  They argue.  Abby says maybe one of them only PRETENDED to drink it, and didn’t really pass out. 

 

Noah finds an empty vial in the wastebasket.  Courtney picks it out with a napkin.  “Anybody care to explain this?”  Everyone stares.  She informs them the police will take that in as evidence.  The lab will analyze it while they’re all being questioned about Austin’s murder.  Fen breaks down. “Look, I did it!”

 

Kelly follows Jack into the stock room.  Blah blah, Phyllis should understand how he’s tried to help That Woman.  He knows how she feels about that.  “I do, and I appreciate you being here,” he says, moving closer.  Kelly will ALWAYS be there for him.  “I sometimes forget what an incredible woman you are.  Compassionate, beautiful.  I’d have to be a fool not to want you,” he says in a husky voice.  He grabs her and starts to kiss her.  Jack!  Wait, wait.  She wants this, like, a lot, but he always said he would NEVER change his mind, and suddenly he has.  She’d really like to know why.  He squints.

 

Dylan doesn’t buy it for a second that Joe is leaving town.  It’s just another game when he pretends to do what Avery wants, and then he keeps chasing her.  Joe thinks what’s bugging him so much, was Avery’s reaction to his news, which he clearly SAW from across the room.  Dylan says she was just surprised, because it’s impossible to believe he would EVER leave.  “She was upset,” needles Joe.  “Regardless of what she says to you, or me, or even herself…she doesn’t want me to leave.”  Dylan says he’s full of it.  But Joe says they have A Connection.  “Avery and I were sooo hot together,” taunts Joe, and Dylan grabs him and shoves him into the bar!  They have a big shoving match, and dumb Avery tries to stop them.  POW!  Dylan accidentally punches her IN THE FACE!  WHOA!!  Nick runs up a second too late.  Avery pulls her hand away from her face.  SHE HAS A BLOODY NOSE.  Oops. Now she can't go to the school dance!

 

Neil and Colin shot off a flare, but they’re in the middle of nowhere and the weather sucks royally.  They got a teeny campfire going with the other flare.  Neil says they have to stay as warm as possible until a search party comes looking for them.  Hilary’s boobs shake from the cold and shock.  Jill found blankets inside the plane, and gives them to Colin.  Neil wants her to bring them to injured Hilary!  Does she have to?  “Are you sure I shouldn’t give them to somebody else?”  Cold.  They wrap some blankets, like, around her head in a rather inefficient manner, and Hilary mumbles about being..so..cold.  “Please, baby, stay with us,” says Neil.  Jill looks at him like he’s a chump.  LET HER DIE!

 

Colin creeps around the plane looking for…stuff, I guess.  He spots Neil’s mystery briefcase.

 

Devon comes stumbling back.  He’s tired of looking for Lily, but Cane’s still out there.  “Dear God,” whispers Neil.  Devon comforts Hilary.

 

Devon brings Jill a blanket.  He says they’re going to find Lily and bring her back.  Or, like, someone will.  He makes Jill sit by the fire, and he goes back to Hilary.  He kisses her and says he’s not going to leave her.  Awkward.  Colin stumbles back to the fire with the briefcase.  Jill decides to open it.  I mean, what else do they have to do?  It’s just a bunch of photos and keepsakes.  Like Neil and Hilary’s wedding photo, their marriage license, a photo of when Devon joined the family.  “Were those things you saved over the years?  Were you planning on throwing them in our faces?” complains Devon.  “All that stuff, you can throw it in the fire and burn it!” says Neil.  “Except for the pictures of me and Lily.”  He gives Devon the side eye.

 

Fen just “did it” to the punch, not Austin.  “You put something in our drinks?” asks Abby in disbelief.  It doesn’t surprise whiny Summer!  Fen always HATED Austin and wished they never got married in the first place!  Wait a minute, Fen wasn’t in favor of her tying herself down, but he did NOT kill him!  All he did was spike the punch!  “That’s all?  Really?” snaps Noah.  Courtney says that’s assault, in case he wasn’t aware.  Summer WHIIIINES that she thought he stopped messing with drugs!  He fought so hard to get past all that.  “WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!” 

 

Fen wants them all to get off his back!  He thought it would be FUN, okay?  This party was a BORE, he was just taking it to the next level!  “What was in that vial, Fen?” asks Courtney.  He doesn’t know.  “YOU DON’T KNOW,” shouts Mariah, “ So basically it could have been RAT POISON!”  Fen’s like omg, it was just a PARTY DRUG.  That I gave to a COP.  Courtney wants to know where he got it.  Ummm, it doesn’t matter.  It was just supposed to loosen up everyone.  He had no idea it would make them all pass out!

 

Abby is justifiably beyond livid.  “You didn’t know WHAT it was, or WHAT it would do, but you fed it to us anyway!  Without our permission!!  After we had already HAD alcohol!  AT MY PARTY, which makes me liable if anything goes wrong, which it SURE AS HELL DID!”  Fen’s sorry, okay!  “WELL, SORRY DOESN’T CUT IT!”  Kevin gets mad and tells Abby to EASE UP on him, okay?  He made a mistake!  “If memory serves, he’s not the only  one, Miss Naked Heiress!”  WTF, slut shamer?  “OMG, I took my clothes off for a publicity stunt!  No one wound up dead!”  The women all scream randomly at each other.

 

Noah screams for them all to stop!  This is not helping.  Courtney asks Fen if he ingested any of the punch himself after he spiked it.  Yes, he wanted to get high, that was the whole point.  “Fe-en,” whines Summer.  Then what?  He passed out, too.  “This is like something out of a horror movie,” he complains.  Mariah realizes this is exactly like the last chapter she just read by Plato Sphere!  The lead character gets hit on the head and then dies in a cabin, and his body is found in a closet.  Uh-oh.  “What kind of psycho would recreate a murder from some goofy story?” asks Abby.  A nerd psycho.

 

Kelly just wants to understand where Jack is coming from.  Is this really about her, or is it because of what happened with Phyllis?  Or is it maybe because of Trash’n’Sassy/Hex?  “All I know is I want you,” growls Jack, planting a passionate kiss on her.  He practically tears her dress off.  Kelly gasps!  He sweeps all the crap off the table and throws her down on it. 

 

Dylan kneels down and tells Avery he is SO SORRY!  Nick gets some ice!  Dylan had no idea she was behind him!  He would never hurt her!  He reaches for her but she FLINCHES.  “What kind of animal hits a woman in the face?” says Joe. “SHUT THE HELL UP!” shouts Dylan, jumping up and pushing him again.  Nick pushes Dylan away.  “That’s enough!  Just get out of here, and I’ll take care of Avery!”  Avery shakes and dabs at her nose.  Dylan leaves. 

 

Nikki follows him.  “Don’t let that pompous jerk WIN.  And don’t leave Avery alone with him!”  Dylan doesn’t want to…but after what he did to her?  The way he let his anger take over?  He doesn’t deserve to be near her, and he’s sure she wants him gone.  He rushes off.  Nikki’s hands shake dramatically.  She wanders back into the bar in a daze.  “I think it’s for the best, K?” says Victor.  “He’s MY SON, Victor.  Who are you to say what’s best?!  Especially after bringing Phyllis to our son’s event, and you ignore me the whole time!”  Victor stares across the room.  “LOOK AT YOU!  You’re not even listening to me NOW!”  He’s entranced by Adam staring back at him.  They both cock their heads back and forth, like a pair of cobras.  Well, they wish they were cobras.  Nikki storms off. 

 

“What are you looking at, son?”  Adam just smirks.  “You’re Gabriel Bingham,” Victor remembers, but as usual, he knows there’s something up with this guy.  “Something you want to say to me?”  Adam says it’s tricky.  He’s been waiting a long time to say this, actually.  By all means, get it off your chest, says Victor. 

 

Courtney’s like, so you’re saying you read some story online by some anonymous author?   Fen and Noah admit they read it, too.  Plato Sphere is super popular.  Noah says a lot of the details ARE the same.  “Almost like the murderer knew beforehand!” says Mariah.  “Or planned it,” says Fen. Kevin’s like, time out.  It’s cool they all like Plato Sphere’s stuff, but don’t blame the way Austin died on some random piece of fan fiction.  Mariah says Kevin reads it, too!  Isn’t this EXACTLY THE SAME?  “NO, it isn’t!  Stop saying that!”  They all badger Kevin and argue.  All right, if they must know…He’s Plato Sphere.  OMG! 

 

Look, Courtney’s never read or even heard of this weird nerd stuff, but from what the other nerds are saying…  Look, Kevin never intended for anyone to copy cat his stuff!  “It’s not copy catting if you came up with it yourself,” accuses Abby.  “WHY would I kill Austin?  I barely knew the guy!”  Abby says no one else there has a past filled with violent, criminal behavior.  Mariah’s like, wait, wut?  “We all know EXACTLY what YOU’RE capable of!” snaps Abby.  Summer frowny stares.

 

Nikki sits with Avery for some victim blaming.  She knows it was an accident, right?  Of course Avery knows that!  “Then why did you flinch when he reached out to you?” she asks.  Avery says she was in shock.  She’s never been hit in the face before, sorry.  Then she saw the look of pain in his eyes, and it just made everything worse.  Nikki’s so sorry.  “You need to find a way to reach out to him, and find a way to make this right.”  Yeah, Avery, make getting punched in your own face right.  Dylan loves her with all his heart and soul, says Nikki.

 

Joe interrupts.  He owes Avery an apology for letting things get out of control with her fiancé.  Nikki jumps up.  “Listen, you!  If you think we’re impressed by the kind of gentleman you are, you better think again, Mr. Clark!  Because we already know what kind of a snake you are.  Now get out of our FACE.”  Joe and Avery ignore Nikki’s crazy mom ranting and just gaze soulfully at each other.  Avery’s like, can you believe this woman’s almost been my mother-in-law TWICE IN A ROW?

 

Adam says Victor STILL doesn’t remember why his fake name is familiar.  Refresh his memory.  “Harrison Bingham, my father.  You took over his company.  Bingham Software, does that ring a bell?”  Oh, yeah.  Adam says that company was what he lived for.  It was his legacy that he hoped to pass down to Gabriel.  That hostile takeover destroyed him and cost him his life.  Gee, Victor’s sorry to hear that.  Adam gets agitated.  “I don’t think that you’re sorry.  I think to you it’s just another business deal, because that’s how you operate, right?  You don’t care about a son being ripped away from his father, because it’s business to you, right?  That’s all you care about?”  Victor’s like, uh, I’m a BUSINESS MAN, K?  Business is tough.  “Who the hell are you..to come in here..and talk to me like this?”

 

Nick leaves Sharon a message.  He heard the power was out at the ranch, so call him and let him know where they’re staying.  Be safe!  He tells Sage he hopes Noah and Summer are off the roads.  She tells him he’s a good dad.  “No matter how old they get, you never stop worrying about them,” he says.  Unless you’re forgetting they exist.  He notices Phyllis across the room.  So many irons in the fire tonight!

 

Nick sits down with her.  So she and Jack really got it into tonight.  Whatever, she was angry, so if he’s going to grill her about her state of mind like everyone else wants to, he can turn right around and leave her alone.

 

Jack and Kelly are going at it on the gross, dirty floor of the storage room.   He gets up.  “WHEW!” laughs Kelly, lying next to the Oviedo Box of Brew.  “It was never like THAT before!!”  Jack gets dressed.  He looks like he might be close to a heart attack.  She KNEW they still had chemistry!  Jack’s totally ignoring her, so Kelly says maybe she’s getting ahead of herself.  “We should both get out there,” says Jack abruptly, tossing her dress at her in a distinctly nonJack manner.  “You first.”  Kelly looks at him in confusion.

 

Cane wanders back to the crash site.  He can’t find Lily!  Or any houses or roads or anything!  They force him to take a coat.  He’s got to find Lily before she freezes to death!  “Good luck, son,” says Colin.  Neil’s trying to dig the wreckage away from Hilary.  Devon tells Neil that Cane is going to FIND Lily, and they’re not going to lose Hilary either.  Devon’s really contributing by stroking Hilary’s hair.  If Neil wasn’t so busy, he’d be beating your head against the ground, Devon.

 

Avery says they all could have handled things differently, and not just tonight.  “Avery, come on, open your eyes!  Guys like this will tell you anything you want to hear.  And then you’ll realize too late that they didn’t mean a WORD of it.”  Nikki gives Victor the side eye, while Joe and Avery stare in each other’s eyes some more.

 

Sage interrupts Adam's stare down with Victor.  Is everything all right?  “Your friend has an attitude,” says Victor.  Adam backs down and apologizes for letting his emotions get the best of him.  “Be very careful, son.  Very,” says Victor before marching away.  “What the hell are you doing?” says Sage.  “The last place you want to be is on Victor’s radar.  You have to be more careful!”  Adam says to relax, he didn’t suspect anything.  Sage watched him.  He forgot who he was when he was with Victor.  “I saw ADAM.  And if you keep acting like that, then everyone else is gonna see it!”  She walks off.  He rubs his forehead.  This has been a really hard day for Adam.

 

Ashley is walking back to the restrooms, and sees Kelly leaving the storage room!  “I think I’m gonna go now,” says Kelly.  Jack’s like, whatever.  Kelly rushes out of the bar, flustered and upset.

 

Phyllis is flouncing away from Nick.  Hey, come on.  After everything they’ve been through…they’re friends.  He just wanted to make sure she was okay, and tell her she’s not paying for another drink tonight.  WHAT.A.PRINCE.  Her night just took a turn for the better.   Line up those free drinks.

 

The ceiling groaaans, and creaaaks, and CRACKS!

 

Dylan’s driving in the snow, upset.  He turns on the radio.  Uh-oh.  PTSD attack.  He hears his voice on the radio screaming they’re under fire.  Then he gets pulled over with sirens and lights.  “What the hell?”

 

Kevin says he is NOT a criminal.  Those days are over.  He works FOR the police now.  And why would he admit he wrote the story if he was guilty?  Fen thinks that’s a good point.  Mariah thinks he’s telling the truth.  “The guy just copped to being a fiction writer.  He tells lies for a living!” says Abby.  “IT’S A HOBBY!” shouts Kevin.  Pretty intense hobby, says Noah.  It doesn’t make him a KILLER!  They all argue, but Summer frowny stands over Austin’s sheet covered body and has vague flashback memories of holding a bloody object in her hand, and stashing it under the couch cushions.  She races over to the couch, and pulls back the cushion!  A BLOODY BOOKEND IS THERE!  She does this:

 

 

Colin and Jill huddle by the fire.  Is she still mad at him for blackmailing Devon?  Hey, she knows he just did it to get Chancellor back for her.  And Devon and Hilary SUCK!  Colin lays his head on her shoulder.  He SO wanted to be her knight in shining armor.

 

Devon and Neil finally get the wing section off Hilary!  She can probably bleed to death more freely now.  Her leg is badly cut!  They need to put pressure on it!  How about putting some BLANKETS ON HER.  Neil says she’ll be okay.  Stay with him!  Hilary says she’s not going to make it.  DON’T SAY THAT!  “Neil, before I die, there’s something you need to know.”  Devon frowns.  Why doesn’t HE need to know?!

[glowlights]

A BLOODY BOOKEND IS THERE!  She does this:

 

Aaaand... I will picture that goat whenever HK comes on screen from now til eternity. lol

 

(Why couldn't the cabin dwellers have all died and put an end to that dud generation of Y&R characters in one fell swoop? Except Noah, because I like looking at him.)

[Runningwild]

Those screaming sheep crack me up!

[Desperately Random]

A BLOODY BOOKEND IS THERE!  She does this:

OMG, I laughed so hard at that! It wasn't just the bleating (which was perfect) but the picture of the goat before I pressed "play". It looked like Dummer. I played that a few times and started laughing all over again. And like Glowlights said, I will be picturing/hearing that goat every time Dummer sniffles her way onto my screen.

That was great, peach. You are the absolute best re-capper!

The entire peachcap was great and there were plenty of other funny lines but that goat was the topper.

My new screensaver:

Edited February 20, 2015 by Desperately Random

[peach]

I admit I hesitated, because I don't like to get too mean.  But Summer's histrionics are not moving because she acts that way ALL THE TIME.  WAAAHHH!!!!   And frankly, I am punishing her for what happens in the next episode.  Shhh.  ;-) 

 

And my aspersions are directed at Summer Newman, the character.  I don't like to hate on the performers themselves.  Summer on paper is an abomination.  She's definitely a NEWMAN, YOU GOT THAT?

[peach]

Wed, Feb 18    I Know What Did You Did Last Valentine’s Day

 

Sharon and Faith are walking into the dark cottage.  They were trying to get somewhere with heat and power, but ran off the road.  Faith says it’s okay, Mommy, it was an accident.  She’s going to be brave just like Mommy is.

 

Dylan’s driving in the snow, and sees lights and sirens.

 

Joe brings Avery some ice for her nose.  He thinks it’s funny that Nikki was warning her about her big bad ex, when it was her son that clocked her.  “He didn’t clock me,” protests Avery.  Blah rationalizations blah.  Avery says Joe doesn’t know him, and he doesn’t like him.  “You wouldn’t understand,' she says with an ice pack on her face. Yet, Joe doesn’t see her chasing after him in a snowstorm to make this better.

 

Nikki stumbles up to Victor and drunky slurs that she’s worried about Dylan out there in the blizzard.  Victor says he’s a veteran, he’s been through worse than a damn snowstorm.  “I know, you’re saving all of your concern for Phyllish.”  Victor frowns a little.  Let him get you another soda.  DON’T BOTHER, she’s done for the night,she says stumbling.  She’s fiiiine.  “Whoa, whoa, whoa.  You are NOT fine.  You are DRUNK!”  Took ya long enough.

 

Sage is still nagging Adam about skating on thin ice as Fake Gabe around Victor.  Hey, he was just sticking up for her ole pal.  Victor drove his dad to suicide, surely she wants him to pay to for that!  Like Adam cares, she says, just like Victor cares.  “Give me enough time, I’ll make him care plenty.”  He checks the storm tracker on his phone.  It’s closing in, he hopes Chelsea isn’t on the road.  No, she’s probably cozied up next to a fire with the man she loves, says Sage.  Adam grimaces, like, why ya gotta say that stuff?

 

Chelsea and Billy are cozied up to a fire all right.  THE BUILDING IS ON FIRE!  They look in the hallway, and Billy actually says holy smoke.  Okay, Robin, better get to the Batmobile. 

 

Summer holds up the bloody, brass bookend and gasp sobs, “How did this happen?”  More panic.  Courtney has to tell them all not to TOUCH the damn thing.  It could be the murder weapon!  Twilight staring!  Summer remembers her flashback about hiding it in the sofa cushions where no one could ever possibly find it until they were looking for the remote.  “I did it!” Summer hyperventilates, “I killed Austin!”

 

Ashley confronts bad Jack in the hallway at The Underground.  “Seriously?!”  Jack’s like, not now, okay.   Ashley asks what the hell is going on?  He and Kelly are screwing around like a couple of teenagers while Phyllis is just yards away from them?  Hmm, sounds like the goal of YOUR HORRIBLE INVENTION, Ashley.  “O-kay,” says Jack. “OKAY?  I think you have to explain this Jack, because I thought you adored Phyllis, and you were done with Kelly!  You’re toying with one while you’re betraying the other.  Could you BE any more DISGUSTING than you are at this very moment?!”  Jack stares at her, annoyed.  Why you gotta jack his flow?

 

Hilary chatters in the snow.  She has to t-t-tell Neil…  Devon wants her to conserve her strength because she doesn’t need to t-t-tell Neil anything.  Neil promises her it can wait.  “Neil, Neil,” she mumbles before going unconscious.  “HILARY!” shouts Devon.  Jill asks what’s happening.  Devon can’t find a pulse!  Colin says it will all be okay.  Jill’s like obviously not.  Devon runs to find a defibrillator on the plane.  Neil tells Jill to pray.

 

Meanwhile, back at the penthouse disaster, Billy is rushing Chelsea out with Johnny and Katie.  Here, save my kids first!  I’ll go get yours and meet you later.  Baby, just go.  Not in a million jillion years, bro.  But she runs out in the smoke filled hallway, leaving Connor behind.

 

Sharon’s in a bit of a panic.  She tries to get a fire started to keep Faith warm.  Faith logically suggests going to the main house.  Um, no.  They don’t have power either, and it will be cozier here.  Faith thinks they could use one of Grandpa’s extra cars, or even a horse.  “NO!  Then we’d have to tell them about the crash, and we DON’T want to…worry them, OR your dad.” 

 

Sharon starts muttering that maybe they already know.  Maybe they saw the car!  Maybe they should go try to restart the car and move it out of the snow bank.  Or maybe Faith could just wait here while Sharon goes to the car.  “Alone?” asks Faith doubtfully.  Hmm, no.  “OR, you could go WITH me!  We’re GOOD at adventures together!”  Faith doesn’t want to walk in the cold and the dark anymore.  It’ll be fine.  They can’t let Daddy know she crashed the car.  He’ll probably get her driver’s license taken away next. 

 

They open the door and find Dylan standing there!  “Oh, thank God!” says Dylan.  He saw her car on the side of the road.  Is she okay?!  Sharon gulps.  People know.

 

Nikki drunkenly rants while Victor grabs her by the arms.  “How long has this been going on?!”  He does the math really fast.  The night she dropped the baby, was that MS, or was it VODKA?   “That is utterly ridiculous!”  He sure doesn’t think so.  Why didn’t she come to him?  “You started drinking behind my back again!  I would have helped you, I would have taken you somewhere!  What is the matter with you?”  I believe that was when he was dividing his time between the coma clinic and the DNA clinic while she was being stalked by a psychopath.  She gives him a death stare.

 

Phyllis walks up.  “Don’t mean to interrupt.”  “Oh, yes, you do,” sneers Nikki.  Phyllis says she’s going to head back even if she has to plow the roads herself.  There you have it, Victor, your houseguest wants to go home.  “You and I are not finished here, K?” says Victor.

 

The ceiling continues to strain and crack under the weight of the snow.

 

“You know you’ve been acting like an adult for quite a few years now, so what’s going on?” asks Ashley.  Is Jack reverting to type?  Like when he slept with Diane on his wedding day to Patti?  “I’m not sure why you’d be surprised then,” snarks Jack.  Ashley squints.  “Are you back on drugs?  Who the hell ARE you?  Are you really trying to drive Phyllis insane by sleeping with Kelly?  Or is it KELLY you’re trying to push over the edge?”  It’s a twofer.  Jack just looks at her, like, whatever.  “Whatever the case, what you’re doing is cruel and destructive, Jack!”  Hey, he’s sorry he upset you.  He appreciates your concern, though.  Ciao, baby.  Ashley’s like WTH IS GOING ON?

 

Sage does know it’s hard on Adam that Chelsea and Billy are together right now.  “Well, thank you for the sympathy, dear.  I appreciate it,” he sorta laughs.  But Sage knows Adam, and knows he’s going to show up over there, and wedge his way between them on the sofa for hot chocolate, and then somehow spill it on Billy’s lap, and just make a fool of himself.  Well, Adam’s already been there.  And Billy and his lap weren’t on the scene at all.  He shoos her away to rescue his brother some more.  She goes. 

 

Nick tells her it looks like the party’s winding down so people can get home before the storm.  She should go, too.  “It looks like the excitement for the night is definitely over.”  The lights go out!  There is rumbling. 

 

Nick tells everyone to chill out because the backup generator will kick in any second…or not.  He’ll go check it out in the back.  Free drinks til then!  Little Helper Sage will hold the flashlight.  Victor offers to help, but he can just stay and take care of his bombed wife.  Joe says the generator better come on fast or it’s gonna get cold in there!  Nick’s on it, Captain Obvious.  Avery says she’s fine, and it’s safe to say this isn’t the night any of them had planned.  Jack walks back in and looks up as the cracking and creaking sounds get louder.  Yeah, just stare at a creaking ceiling.

 

Courtney puts the bookend in a plastic bag.  Summer whimpers that Austin’s blood is on it.  Abby questions her about saying she “did it.”  Did she HIT him with it?  Noah and Fen make lots of excuses for Precious Snowflake.  She could never hurt anyone, unless she was bullying them or crashing into their car.  Especially not Austin!  Abby says Austin WAS hurt, like to death.  Mariah says Summer went right to where the murder weapon was!  Noah says that doesn’t mean ANYTHING.  “YES, it DOES,” says Mariah.  Fen says it doesn’t mean she used it!

 

Summer has another blurry flashback to hiding it.  “I remember, I remember,” she hyperventilates.  Mariah’s like don’t [overact] freak out, geez.  Noah insists AGAIN that Summer could never hurt Austin!  She’s way too fucking lazy and incompetent.  Courtney says SOMEONE did, but Summer sure couldn’t have stuffed Austin in the wardrobe.  “Maybe not alone,” says Kevin.  Fen takes issue.  “Austin was killed and nobody knows who did it because YOU drugged everyone, jackass!  So don’t get judgey at Kevin when this is YOUR FAULT!” shouts Mariah.  I DID NOT MEAN FOR THIS TO HAPPEN, shouts Fen even louder. 

 

“No one has ANY answers, and if we don’t get them, then we’re all in a lot of trouble!!” worries scared Mariah.  Noah says she’s right.  And until they find out exactly what happened, they are ALL screwed!  Summer pants and rocks.

 

Meanwhile, back at Towering Inferno, Chelsea comes rushing outside with Johnny and Katie, where she’s totally ignored by EMS.  She hangs around an ambulance, keeping Johnny happy, and I guess there’s no reason to mention to any firefighters that her baby is still inside a burning building.  Billy’s got it covered.  “Billy!” she shouts at the building.

 

Billy’s bringing Connor downstairs with a blanket over his head.  They run into the hallway to take the stairs, but darn, that’s a lot of smoke.  They run back into the penthouse.  I guess just wait there, that should work.

 

Sage watches Hero Nick turn a generator on.  The lights come on.  Yay!  The creaking gets louder.  “Is that an earthquake?” asks Sage.  This week, surprisingly, the answer is no.  But the ceiling does cave in.  They crawl around in the wreckage.  Luckily, they still have a flashlight.  Nick says his family’s out there.  He has to try and get to them, but they’re going to have to move some stuff.

 

Dylan gets the fire going for Sharon and tells Faith to go find some blankets to make a fort.  She’s super excited.  Sharon’s still freaking out about leaving the car out there.  Nick is going to think she can’t do anything right!  She has to move it!  Dylan says going out there is not a good idea.  She tells him to stay with Faith, while she goes.  He tries to calm her down, and she gets wiggy and says, “Am I not making any sense?  Because you’re looking at me like I’m not making any sense!!”   She SWEARS she is taking her meds!  Dylan suggests maybe she take something for anxiety. 

 

She needs take something??  OMG, she’s spinning out, she’s spinning out!!!  And the car accident!  Dylan will say HE was driving the car, so she’s got nothing to worry about.  “Nick will find out,” insists Sharon.  Dylan says there’s nothing to find out.  When things calm down tomorrow, her car won’t be an issue.  Sharon isn’t sure.  Dylan is, and for now they stay put.  And they’re going to build the greatest fort of all time!  Dylan’s way less annoying with Sharon.

 

Noah says whatever Fen put in the punch doesn’t turn Summer into someone she’s not.  Fen says it was just a party drug.  Kevin thinks his counselors at rehab would LOVE to hear that, not to mention his parents.  What the hell, dude!  Fen TOLD them it doesn’t mean anything.  Kevin says it’s not about him anymore, it’s about SUMMER.  “It’s about AUSTIN,” corrects Mariah.  Fine.  But how did she know where the murder weapon was?  Noah asks how do they know it IS the murder weapon.  “Maybe the blood gave it away,” snaps Mariah. 

 

Courtney explains that the bookend IS pretty much the murder weapon.  “And what Summer said amounts to spontaneous utterance.  I am a freaking cop!  I have to report everything that I hear!”  Like what, says Noah.  He didn’t hear anything.  “Me neither,” adds Kevin, “I’ll testify to that.”  Perjury’s back in style, you guys.  Courtney heard what she heard.  Sure, Summer was in a lot of shock, but she SAID that she killed Austin!  Fen says none of this is her fault.  “Yeah, tell the cops that you drugged us all, I’m SURE they’ll understand,” says Mariah.  Courtney’s like I AM THE COPS, for God’s sake!  And she was drugged, too.  The Chief is gonna love that.  See, says Kevin, you had so many drugs in your system that you misheard your best friend confess to murder.

 

“My sister is not going to be arrested for anything, you understand,” Noah orders Courtney.  Are you kidding me?  GUESS YOU SHOULDA PUT A RING ON IT, you entitled Newman ass.  Wait, guys, says Kevin.  “If there’s no murder, there’s nothing to confess to.” Fen says they can’t bring Austin back.  Mariah gets the drift.  “Accidents happen.”  “With a bookend?” says Courtney.  Austin doesn’t even read.  “It suuure is icy out there,” says Kevin.  “Austin slipped, he hit his head,” says Mariah. 

 

“A coverup?” says Courtney.  “What is WRONG with you people?  Some guy DIED.  And he was our friend!  Our family.”  Summer’s my family, says Noah.  “She doesn’t deserve to go to jail,” says Mariah from a parallel universe.  “So are we gonna stage this accident?  Or are we gonna let Summer be a suspect?”  Wow, Austin was murdered by Summer, and it’s poor…Summer.

 

Neil does CPR on Hilary and gets her heart going before Devon can come back with his defibrillator.  “You saved her!” says Devon.  Then he lays on her and strokes her face a bunch.  Neil walks away.  Jill says he saved a life, now come to the fire and get warm.  Cane comes running up, carrying Lily!  He holds her and they all try to wake her up.

 

God love this woman, she doesn’t miss a beat.  “You lied to me,” she says, opening her eyes.  Cane’s gonna make it up to you, baby.  She looks over to see Devon rubbing himself all over dying Hilary.  “Devon..and that bitch!”  She cries to Neil about how sorry she is about it all.  Neil says don’t worry about it now, they will get through this together.  Devon pets Hilary like a cat.  You’re lucky Lily can’t stand up yet.

 

Chelsea tells the firefighters that Connor and Billy are upstairs in the apartment!  Just kidding, she tells Adam instead.  “Connor’s up there?!”

 

Meanwhile, back at The Underg, Nick has figured out that the roof collapsed into the whole bar and not just the storage/sex room.  Gabe left, so Sage doesn’t have to worry about him.  She doesn’t have one other person to worry about, so maybe she just stay in the rubble, huh?  Nick guesses that a fake marriage puts a damper on her social life.  Not any more than a real one, I would think, but Sage says pouring drinks and fake marriages, that’s her whole existence.  He summed it right up.  Hey, let’s stop trying to save our lives and talk about Sage’s lonely heart problems.  She’s waited her whole life, for something…to begin.  And this bullshit is it!  Hey, hey…Nick wants to get to know you after all this.  SEE, YOU DO HAVE A LIFE!  Wow, the feeling is mutual, and I wonder if Nikki and Victor are dead.  Sage and Nick start kissing.

 

Nikki and Phyllis are trapped together, which is definitely a disaster, and Nikki screams until Victor hears her and crawls to where they are.  “Omg, where is Nicholas?!  Nicholas, where are youuuuu!” screams Nikki.  He’s making out with Sage, relax.  Nikki’s gotta get outta heeeere! 

 

Joe calls out for Avery.  Joe!  She’s here!  She uses her cell phone for a flashlight.  Joe’s trapped under rubble.

 

Noah says they’re talking about concealing evidence and lying to the police.   Courtney thinks the forensic evidence alone…  Kevin thinks the GCPD is pretty stupid a lot of the time.  Dumbass Fen says if they’re not looking for foul play, they’ll just say Austin fell and move on.  “But there was foul play,” says Courtney.  “We don’t know that for certain,” says Kevin.  Fen says they don’t know anything for certain.  “Yeah, because you drugged us, Fen,” snaps Courtney. 

 

Mariah gives Courtney the rundown of them calling 911 and telling the cops everything, ending with Summer racing to the murder weapon and announcing I DID IT.  “And then your boyfriend’s sister gets arrested.  That’s your version.  How does that work for you?”  I think “boyfriend” is the operative word.  “YOUR version is a FELONY,” says Courtney.  “Even conspiring to do this is a crime!  Noah, please tell them, we cannot do this.”   But Precious Snowflake is his sister!

 

So, the two people who were bound by God and Country to sacrifice their own mother and confess Sage spilled water on her pants, are ready to cover up a murder because Summer.

 

Noah tells Courtney that Summer loved Austin, and no matter what happened, she didn’t plan on coming up here and killing her husband!  Then TELL THE AUTHORITIES.  Noah says they can’t take that risk!  “We would be accessories!  We cover this up, and we go to prison, too!”  OR, says Kevin, they could use her professional expertise to avoid getting caught.  “This is a mistake,” says Courtney.  Noah says he’s sorry.  If Courtney does this, she’s like every other dirty cop who thought they were above the law.  There is no washing this off.  That’s what he’s asking of her.  “I’m asking you to save my sister, because she can’t save herself.”  Because she’s worthless at everything.  Hmm, sounds like kind of a commitment to me, and Noah hates those. 

 

Abby comes in and asks what the hell they’re going to do.  Courtney walks off.  “So, are we good with the slipped outside story?” asks Kevin.  Mariah says simple is good, but they have to clean the murder weapon.  Kevin wants to move the body outside, but no dragging.  “Once we get the body outside—“  “We have to make sure the angle of the blow makes sense,” says Courtney.  She’s crossed over.  “If we’re doing this, we’re doing it right.”  But she’s not happy about it.

 

Mariah tells Abby to hold Summer’s hand.  She’s 20 years old, and a widow.  “And if she won’t go along with it?” asks Abby.  Noah says she has to.  Now let’s move that body.  Summer, the screaming sheep, comes in and keens about how much she loved Austin and didn’t mean to kill him.  Abby hugs her.  Mariah has a weird feeling.

 

Nick and Sage finish kissing.  “A kiss for the lonely girl,” says Sage.  Nick smiles.  Aw shucks, he wanted to do that.  He does want to get her know her better.  Blah blah blah.  Let’s talk about how Nick feels like a jackass for taking custody of Faith.  Here’s a brick.  He can’t live with the odds of anything ever happening to his kids, except for if he has to work late.  Hey, can you hold this other brick? La dee da, take your time, guys.

 

Dylan wraps Sharon in a blanket.  He has her calmed down and suggests making popcorn.  She takes off her hat, and he notices a cut on her temple.  “Change of plans!” says Dylan.  “We need to get you to a doctor.”

 

Joe tries to get out from under a metal beam.   Avery says she’s using physics to save him, although it seems like she might be using electricity to kill them both.  Blah blah, let’s talk about Avery’s amazing support in his life.  He’s so much cuter with his hair messed up.

 

Even after having his face recently burned off, Adam has the courage to run into the burning building to save Connor.  Somehow the smoke wasn’t too thick to get IN to the penthouse.  Billy’s passed out on the floor, and Connor’s in his pack’n’play with a blanket over the top.  That should keep him super safe.  Adam grabs him and heads for the door. He kicks at Billy a little to unsuccessfully rouse him.  Hey, man, he can’t take you both.  He runs out.

 

Jill & Colin and Devon & Hilary huddle by the fire.  Neil says they’re all going to be just fine.  Cane gathers wood. He says they have to work as a team to stay warm and awake.  They CANNOT go to sleep.  Lily cuts him a glare.  Neil says they have to STAY POSITIVE.  Lily is positive she hates everyone.

 

Ashley’s at Crimson Lights, trying to get a hold of Jack.  She leaves him a message.

 

Helpless, worthless, moaning, crying, murdering Summer wails that Austin needs her, but Abby makes her go inside.  The guys and Courtney arrange Austin’s body in the snow, so his head is resting on a big rock, kinda like a pillow.  Poor Malibu Austin.  You deserved better than this.  Mariah hangs behind to say a few words of comfort.  “Summer loves you, Austin,” she weeps.  “We’re gonna keep her safe for you.”  Is this a conversation they had cutting limes late at night?  Hey, if Summer ever murders me, promise you’ll keep her safe.  Hopefully he’s not really dead , and he comes back to kill them one by one.

 

Mariah starts to walk back into the cabin, and sees Abby and Summer hugging.  She suddenly has a hazy flashback.  ABBY AND AUSTIN ARE PASSIONATELY MAKING OUT.  Mariah’s like..whoa.

 

Victor moves some boards.  “I see you, I see you!” cries Nikki.  If only they can know for sure that NICHOLAS is okay.  Victor moves some more debris and finds Jack unconscious.  Phyllis asks if he found someone.  Are they alive?

 

Adam comes stumbling out of the building with Connor.  “YOU SAVED MY BABY!” cries Chelsea.  But wait, where’s Billy?  Greedy much?  Adam says he was unconscious and he couldn’t carry both of them.  “He won’t make it!” says Chelsea.  They tell the firefighters!  HA, Adam goes back to get him.  The tower infernos.

[MollyB]

 

Hopefully he’s not really dead , and he comes back to kill them one by one.

everyone but Mariah and Kevin-I'm really liking them.

Hilarious recap as per usual, Peach!

[Slowpokey]

OMG, I laughed so hard at that! It wasn't just the bleating (which was perfect) but the picture of the goat before I pressed "play". It looked like Dummer. I played that a few times and started laughing all over again. And like Glowlights said, I will be picturing/hearing that goat every time Dummer sniffles her way onto my screen.

That was great, peach. You are the absolute best re-capper!

The entire peachcap was great and there were plenty of other funny lines but that goat was the topper.

My new screensaver:

Gosh! I freaking love this! Thank you Peach!!!

[Slowpokey]

So, the two people who were bound by God and Country to sacrifice their own mother and confess Sage spilled water on her pants, are ready to cover up a murder because Summer.

 

 

 

And there it is!!!! Freaking genius Peach! (:

Aaaand... I will picture that goat whenever HK comes on screen from now til eternity. lol

 

(Why couldn't the cabin dwellers have all died and put an end to that dud generation of Y&R characters in one fell swoop? Except Noah, because I like looking at him.)

So will I Glowlights! Hee hee

Edited February 21, 2015 by Slowpokey

[peach]

So, the two people who were bound by God and Country to sacrifice their own mother and confess Sage spilled water on her pants, are ready to cover up a murder because Summer.

 

And there it is!!!! Freaking genius Peach! (:

 

That was close to rage quit territory for me.  Those two were freakin' George Washington up in that courtroom.  OMG, WE CANNOT TELL A LIE.  Sorry, Mom.  Bye Faith.  SAGE SPILLED WATER ON HER PANTS.  Bake'em a cherry pie for a reward.

 

But, Mariah's first and almost only friend, who defended her against that self-centered, rich bitch monster of a wife of his, GETS MURDERED BY HER, and let's all cover it up.  Let's destroy our lives and Courtney's career..because...it's for Summer.  WTF has SUMMER ever done for ANY of them??  What is her value to the world that this is so important?  WHYYYYY!!!

 

Also, I realize that Summer obviously didn't even do it because TWISTS!

[pearlite]

That was close to rage quit territory for me.  Those two were freakin' George Washington up in that courtroom.  OMG, WE CANNOT TELL A LIE.  Sorry, Mom.  Bye Faith.  SAGE SPILLED WATER ON HER PANTS.  Bake'em a cherry pie for a reward.

 

But, Mariah's first and almost only friend, who defended her against that self-centered, rich bitch monster of a wife of his, GETS MURDERED BY HER, and let's all cover it up.  Let's destroy our lives and Courtney's career..because...it's for Summer.  WTF has SUMMER ever done for ANY of them??  What is her value to the world that this is so important?  WHYYYYY!!!

 

Also, I realize that Summer obviously didn't even do it because TWISTS!

 

And because STUPID. Murder takes follow-through.

 

And unkindly, why does the actress always look like a mouth-breather?

[smartyshorts]

And because STUPID. Murder takes follow-through.

 

And unkindly, why does the actress always look like a mouth-breather?

Because she actually walks around slack jawed and her resting face is scrunched up eyebrows and slightly open mouth. Like she's working on a particularly difficult math problem all the time.

What floor are the Chilly and Gagadam penthouses on? All that plastic surgery must've given Bingo superpowers, to run up and down all of those flights through smoke that knocked poor Billy on his ass after half a flight. And when did he have a chance to throw a coat or blanket over Connor's pack and play? Did he come downstairs with the kid and figure he'd take a little nap on the floor?? Was he looking for a shoe or a magic music box?

I guess Neil decided he didn't want to stand around listening to cane or Colin give their excuses or watch his beautiful nightmare of a wife pine for his son so he walked off to find the nearest bar. Maybe this IS Lost and they are all dead. At least they should be.

Shut up Michael and your midlife crisis bangs.

Maybe the Cabin Scoobies are all just playing along with this insane cover up until they get back to civilization, then someone sings like a canary.

[Petunia13]

All that plastic surgery must've given Bingo superpowers, to run up and down all of those flights through smoke that knocked poor Billy on his ass after half a flight.

New Adam is like 27 and new Billy is like 47 so that might be why but yea the apartment was very high for that speedy jogging in smoke. For an old timer like our youthful scamp Billy -or - a person killed more x than Rasputin like Adam.

It was bullshit though how Billy had ChelseaCon take his kids out 1st. Most moms would be tunnel vision on rescuing kid. It would be instinctual. Nothing else or anyone else would even register.

[Slowpokey]

That was close to rage quit territory for me.  Those two were freakin' George Washington up in that courtroom.  OMG, WE CANNOT TELL A LIE.  Sorry, Mom.  Bye Faith.  SAGE SPILLED WATER ON HER PANTS.  Bake'em a cherry pie for a reward.

 

But, Mariah's first and almost only friend, who defended her against that self-centered, rich bitch monster of a wife of his, GETS MURDERED BY HER, and let's all cover it up.  Let's destroy our lives and Courtney's career..because...it's for Summer.  WTF has SUMMER ever done for ANY of them??  What is her value to the world that this is so important?  WHYYYYY!!!

 

Also, I realize that Summer obviously didn't even do it because TWISTS!

Yep it just boggles my mind the crap writing for Sharon.Nobody would kind of fudge the truth a tiny bit to save her child for her but have no qualms in lying about a murder? Really show? Mariah owes everything that is good in her miserable life to her and for Christ's sakes Noah who watched for years the beat down put on his mother by Prickolas and Phylthy! I mean I was like WTF? You have no problem lying for that nasty entitled little Pouty Pants who has done nothing for you ever and yet you threw your mom and little sister under the bus by clamming up when you could have said something to save Faith from her dumbass vindictive daddy?

 

And boy did Sharon catch a lot of flack on different boards about wanting her kids to lie for her. You would have thought she had asked them to kill some one! And the same haters  that double teamed Sharon are giving Precious Princess Snowflake a complete pass! Why it's just some great shit there to lie for and protect a woman that may have committed murder! Even if the odds are great that she didn't do it they don't know that. Just frosts my cookies!!!

[MollyB]

 

It was bullshit though how Billy had ChelseaCon take his kids out 1st. Most moms would be tunnel vision on rescuing kid. It would be instinctual. Nothing else or anyone else would even register.

I mentioned this before in my rant entitled "My Kid First" and was reminded by other posters that Johnny is indeed Chlez' kid.  I just don't understand why Billy could not have run up, grabbed Connor and all five of them left together.  There wasn't that much urgency about the smoke if Gadam could run thru it twice.

[Suby]

That was close to rage quit territory for me.  Those two were freakin' George Washington up in that courtroom.  OMG, WE CANNOT TELL A LIE.  Sorry, Mom.  Bye Faith.  SAGE SPILLED WATER ON HER PANTS.  Bake'em a cherry pie for a reward.

 

But, Mariah's first and almost only friend, who defended her against that self-centered, rich bitch monster of a wife of his, GETS MURDERED BY HER, and let's all cover it up.  Let's destroy our lives and Courtney's career..because...it's for Summer.  WTF has SUMMER ever done for ANY of them??  What is her value to the world that this is so important?  WHYYYYY!!!

Summer may have her father's dim wit and lentil sized brain, but she's exactly like her mother in the regard she does horrible things (hit and run, bullying Jamie for starters) and everyone covers up and/or comes to her rescue so her rancid phlegmy ass comes out smelling like a rose. 

 

They are all also covering for Prick Meister Fen who drugged them.  Unfreakingbelievable. 

[peacheslatour]

 

Because she actually walks around slack jawed and her resting face is scrunched up eyebrows and slightly open mouth. Like she's working on a particularly difficult math problem all the time.

Perhaps she went to the Joey Tribiani School of Soap Acting?

[peach]

I know that Johnny is actually Chelsea's son, but for show purposes, it's like he's not.

 

Billy's as incompetent at everything as Summer.

 

The murder coverup story would be so much better if it was really just motivated by their own fear of getting in trouble.  The truth is one shitty story to tell the police, even Courtney.  Mariah, Kevin, and Fen all have much to fear about getting in trouble with the law again, and Mariah's on the outs with her bail paying benefactor right now.  "Gosh, I don't remember what happened" is probably a terrible defense if they decide to arrest them all.  Courtney herself would have to defend being on drugs,  because they might not believe that Fen did it without their knowledge. Nobody can prove anything.  And Noah is Summer's brother, so he can stick with the protect my sister angle.  So, they all have perfectly good personal motivation to pretend it's an accident, other than "IT'S FOR SUMMER" therefore anything goes to protect her stupid, whiny ass.

[pearlite]

Perhaps she went to the Joey Tribiani School of Soap Acting?

 

Nope, she didn't have the entry credentials. Given that Drake Hogestyn, owner of the "how to do the long soap-opera bumper take ["Look down, close your eyes, count to three and slowly open them."], is Dean, you'd think she might have. But no. She has papers in the Sour Mouth and Slow Breathing courses, though.

[Slowpokey]

Perhaps she went to the Joey Tribiani School of Soap Acting?

***DEAD***

Nope, she didn't have the entry credentials. Given that Drake Hogestyn, owner of the "how to do the long soap-opera bumper take ["Look down, close your eyes, count to three and slowly open them."], is Dean, you'd think she might have. But no. She has papers in the Sour Mouth and Slow Breathing courses, though.

Lordy Y'all got it going on!!! LMAO

[Snaporaz]

I don't typically hate on performers, either, but I make the exception in HK's case. Yes, the character is awful as written, but it's HK's own attributes and affectations that make Summer so insufferable. Abby is a practically a carbon copy of Summer, yet the performer brings charm, vulnerability, and a lightness to the role. HK has none of those qualities, but I think a better actress would be able to make Summer a "brat" you could root for, which appears to be how the writers intend for us to take her.

[peach]

Thurs, Feb 19    Limited Resource Allocation

 

Ashley’s trying to call Jack from Crimson Lights.  Gosh darn it, the lights go out, and I guess we’re fresh out of miracles this week.  Hey, it’s Michael and Lauren finding their way in with their cellphones!  Apparently they’ve been vacationing in Stepford for some face and hair upgrades.   Hmm, Michael’s going with the fluffy bangs attempt at looking younger.  Didn’t work on Tom Cruise, ain’t gonna work on you. 

 

So, Paul gets there with some cops.  Shoot, Dylan’s not there.  He asks the counter girl to go crank up the generator, the lack of which resulted in the Crimson Lights Christmas Power Miracle of 2014.  O, Dylan, of little faith.  Paul is setting up the coffee house as a triage center.  And get a volunteer to notify the victims’ families, because that’s not a job the cops usually handle.  Victoria and Stitch come in.  Paul tells everyone about the roof collapse with a number of people inside.  NICK IS THERE.  “You have to get them out!” demands Victoria.   Good thinking, Vicky.  Thank goodness you’re there.

 

Nick and Sage have discovered that moving rubble is kind of hard, especially for the soft handed classes.  Sage thinks they should just sit tight and wait to be rescued.  Nick says they can’t be sure that will happen.  Right, I’m sure they’ll just bulldoze you into a landfill come morning.  He has a moment of despair.  Hey, Nick, Sage didn’t save you from the bear trap just to lose you in this stupid ceiling cave in.   He perks up.  He’s a caveman, after all, surely he can handle a cave in.  They smile and get back to work.

 

Joe tries to find a way out of their section of rubble.  Avery thinks he should save his energy, but Joe’s a big fan of breathing.  “You could topple the whole thing on top of us if you move the wrong piece!” bitches Avery.  Oh, so she doesn’t TRUST him?  Blah blah blah.  They can hear sirens, so he chills a little bit.  They blather about their past.  This reminds him of the day they got divorced.  His whole world came crashing down on him, so she can’t tell him this isn’t a sign.  A sign of what, that being around Avery results in things crashing on you?

 

Faith sleeps on the couch, and Dylan tries to convince Sharon she needs to go to the hospital for the cut on her head.  But then Nick will find out she was in an accident!  Dylan says HE will say he was driving.  No, someone will figure it out, and then they’ll tell Nick.  Dylan says he will understand, she was just trying to get Faith somewhere warm.  Oh, no he won’t.  He’ll say she should have done something else, and is too irresponsible to have Faith.  Don’t make her lose her kid!

 

The inferno spreads, glass is exploding, and Chelsea thinks it’s a good idea to stand around with Johnny at the bottom.  A firefighter says she has to clear the area!  She can’t leave!  There’s a man in the penthouse, and a man went up to get him!  Johnny starts crying because Chelsea’s going to get him killed.  The firefighter’s okay with amateur rescue missions, I guess.

 

Adam has now run up to the penthouse a second time, even though Billy couldn’t make it DOWN once.  “Dammit, Billy, I oughta leave you here to die, just like you did me.”  No shit.  But shoot him first.

 

Victor tells Nikki and Phyllis that he’s found Jack.  He can’t tell if he’s breathing.  Phyllis tries to get to him, but they yell at her for possibly bringing the wholedamnthing down on top of them.  Nikki says if she wants to help, then bang on the pipes with her!  Victor says Jack’s heart is not beating!  “I wanna see!” whines Nikki, who just forgot she’s in charge of pipe banging.

 

Sharon says the hospital is going to ask a lot of questions, and then Nick will find out!  Dylan has an idea.  He can take them to Crimson Lights, and call Stitch to come take care of it, no questions asked.  Besides, they’re low on firewood.  Faith wakes up.  Mommy, your cut looks bad!  Well, Dylan’s got a truck to take them to Crimson Lights where they can get warm and drink hot chocolate!  Faith is down with that!  Dylan promises everything’s going to be okay.  Sharon doesn’t look so sure.

 

Avery and Joe have an annoying conversation about whatever.  Avery doesn’t want to hear any of Joe’s dying declarations.  He’s not dying!  “I didn’t just come back into your life to lose you to a pile of concrete.”  I feel like I should insert a block of wood joke here, but he’s being so nice to Sharon right now that I can’t.   So, why DID Joe come back in her life?  WHO CARES?

 

Nick gets really worried that everyone’s dead on the other side.  He can’t hear anyone.  Sage is an optimist because of Constance’s wonderful, courageous example in life.  She wants to be just like her, so she can take in orphans as servants and leave them with nothing when she dies.  Nick thinks Constance would be proud of her and how she’s turned into a lying bartender to get half of Constance’s money.  Constance lived a full life, and when Sage gets out of here, she deserves to have one, too.  “Instead of my sham of a marriage?” she asks. 

 

Nick figures Gabe’s going to kick her down some money for doing it, but money is no substitute for happiness!  “Says the person who’s had it his whole life.”  Nick admits that’s a good point, but he’s seen people all around him destroy themselves chasing money.  And then they get it…and they’re miserable.  He thinks you’re better off trying to be happy, in your free lodging on a vast estate, working part time when you feel like it.   Sage says money equals security, and happiness equals scary.  It doesn’t have to be like that, says Nick.  When they get out, he hopes she gets to find that out.  Sage smiles.  Who needs millions of dollars when you can just date Nick?

 

Victor performs CPR on Jack.  “Come on, Jack!  LIVE!!”  I think it would work better if Victor yelled at Jack to DIE!  Then he’d wake right up.

 

Paul tells a cop to run the license plates in the parking lot to figure out who’s inside.  Ashley tells him Jack and Nick could be seriously hurt.  Thanks, Ash.  Paul’s doing the best he can.  Stitch offers to help get people out, but Paul doesn’t want any more victims!  Help the EMT’s instead.  Michael comes running in with a victim, and Stitch rushes to help. 

 

Dylan, Sharon, and Faith walk in.  What a cute family they already make.  Sharon freaks a little about all the police being there. Dylan asks Paul what’s going on.  The power’s out all over the city, and Paul knew Dylan bought a generator, so they came here to set up an emergency command center.  Thank God for coffee shops.  There have been several major accidents, including a roof collapse at The Underground.  NICK IS THERE!!  There are wrecks all over the place, and he’s short on personnel and emergency equipment.  Guys, I’m getting kinda worried about Genoa City.  I mean, the infrastructure is totally crumbling, the power’s always out, they never have enough emergency services.  It’s too bad there’s been no redevelopment around there.

 

Super Dylan ponders.  He’s got a little search and rescue experience.  He can help at The Underground.  “What I REALLY need is help keeping people off the roads, so we can curtail these minor incidents.”  Dylan suggests they advise people to stay home, but there’s no power to get the word out.  Smart phones can’t reach the internet.  And he doesn’t have the manpower to go door to door and tell people not to drive around in a snowstorm.

 

Well, Super Dylan had to do a lot of limited resource allocation overseas, so could he take a look at a map?  OF COURSE!  Paul appreciates the input.  So, it takes SUPER DYLAN to explain to the chief of police that they could put a squad car at each of the four main intersections and turn people away.  This show.  Paul gives the order.  He thinks that will help as long as there’s not ANOTHER—

 

“PAUL!  There’s been a fire and an explosion at the Lakeview Towers!” cries LAUREN, who is managing the emergency phone line.  I know what you’re thinking, but she does have a lot of retail experience.  Customer service, 911 dispatch, it’s all the same.  Victoria panics.  “LAKEVIEW TOWERS?  Billy and Chelsea live there!  MY CHILDREN ARE THERE!”

 

Chelsea remains at the foot of the tower.  She wants to go in there!  A firefighter tries to stop her.  THE WHOLE PLACE COULD BLOW!  Are they stockpiling munitions in there or something?  Chelsea doesn’t care!  SHE HAS TO FIND BILLY!

 

It’s okay, because Paul Newman is on it.  I mean, Adam.  His sexiness makes him impervious to smoke inhalation.  He can’t get Billy to wake up.  “You bastard.  Think what you got to live for, right?”  He reminds Billy that kids need their parents.  And he sure as hell didn’t come back just to die like this in yet another burning building.  Well, mysterious clues like that bring Billy back to consciousness.  Cough, cough.  “Get off your sorry ass and help me out,” urges Adam.  “Come on, buddy, the party’s downstairs.”  He helps Billy up so they can stagger out of the penthouse together.

 

Victor’s still doing CPR on Jack.  He starts gasping for breath.  “The bastard’s alive!  Come on, Jack!”   So the Newman dynasty has saved the Abbott dynasty today.  “Oh, baby, I’m so glad you’re alive,” weeps Phyllis.  “Oh, Victor, sometimes I forget what an amazing man you are,” swoons Nikki, who has to drink copious amounts of alcohol just to live with him.  Jack’s moaning and trying to say something.  What?!  What are you trying to say?!  “Aaadam,” groans Jack.  They’re all like, wtf?

 

Victoria runs up to Chelsea at the Towering Inferno.  Nobody will tell her anything!  Where are Katherine and Johnny??  They’re okay, and Connor, too.  Whatever.  Where’s Billy?  “Gabriel went in to get him, and they haven’t come out yet,” gasps Chelsea.  Vicky says Billy will be fine. 

 

Adam and Bill casually chat about how to escape.  Adam thinks they should crawl to the stairwell.  “There’s no time for that, one explosion usually begets another one.”  I guess it would be quicker to jump out the window, but Adam’s more hung up on him using the word begets.  Has Billy been reading his Bible? “About now, I wish I had,” quips Billy.  At least Adam knows that if it’s his time, he’s repaid his debt to Billy.  “What does that mean?” asks Billy with annoyance.  Umm, he loaned him Chelsea to pick out his furniture, and now Adam’s saving his life.  Guess that makes them even.  “Not yet,” says Billy.  (My husband, who doesn’t even know these characters, says, “What a dick.” Indeed.)

 

“What about Adam?” asks Victor.  “Can you answer him, baby?” worries Phyllis.  That’s it, she’s gotta get them out of there, she says, trying to crawl in the wreckage.  “Just bang on the damn pipes!” snaps Victor.  Phyllis thinks if they were coming, they’d already be there by now.   She doesn’t know about the limited resource allocation.  They yell at each other until Phyllis agrees to yell for help instead.  Nikki bangs on the pipes.

 

Omg, Nick hears it!  Someone’s alive out in the club.  BAM, CRASH!  It’s SUPER DYLAN!!  He leads the rescue crew inside, you know, the guys with hard hats and safety gear that Super Dylan doesn’t need.  He pushes his way through to Nick and Sage.  They haven’t seen anyone since the building collapsed.  The others are in the main room. Super Dylan looks sad.  That part is completely buried.

 

Avery tells Joe she’s not going to let dire circumstances suck her into saying things she’ll regret later.  Fine, then he will!  Earlier he gave her the gift of saying he’ll leave town forever.  But that was before all this.  When they get out of this, does she really want him to keep that promise, and walk away forever? “Joe…” whispers Avery.  SUPER DYLAN ARRIVES.   Apparently, Joe and Avery could have just walked out a door in the corner. 

 

Joe can’t even.  It really pisses him off that Super Dylan’s ruining his big collapsed building opportunity.  Nick and Sage crawl in after Super Dylan, instead of leaving the damn building.  Blah blah, Super Dylan is really sorry about bashing you in the nose, Avery.  It doesn’t matter anymore!  She’s bashed all over now.  Nick says they’re going to get them out of there.  Has anyone seen his parents?  No, but Avery wasn’t banging on pipes, so it must be them. 

 

Super Dylan orders the rescue crew to get these people to safety at Crimson Lights!   NO, Sage isn’t going!  She’s staying with Hero Nick!  No one’s going to put up with any more amateur rescuers, especially not girls, so they have to leave.  The professionals take Joe, Avery, and Sage out, while Super Dylan and Nick keep searching.

 

Meanwhile, back at Crimson Lights, Michael and Lauren count their blessings.  Michael’s so glad that Fen is up at the murder cabin drugging people and far away from this mess.  The bright side of all this is that Michael realizes that even though cancer sucks, you could be perfectly healthy and smashed by bricks one day.  You just never know.  Blah blah.  What would we do without Michael and Lauren for filler?

 

Stitch tends to Sharon.  Mac said it was important to be discreet, and he trusts him.  Blah friends blah.  Paul comes in and says people are being found alive and breathing.  Hopefully there will be more.  Sharon promises Faith that Daddy will be here soon.  Nobody’s heard anything from the Towering Inferno.  Stitch hopes no news is good news.

 

Chelsea gives Victoria the rundown about Gabriel and Billy.  Vicky’s sure Billy is alive.  Look how many times he’s cheated death.  Remember the prison in Myanmar, because of you?  And when he left your husband to die in that horrible car accident?  Victoria, such a comfort.  He never should have survived, she says, but he did.  A little smoke’s not gonna kill a rich, privileged idiot like Billy. 

 

Adam suddenly bursts out the door, dragging Billy along.  “BILLY, THANK GOD!” cries Chelsea hugging him.  Adam and Victoria stand back and watch unhappily.  Billy says she better thank Gabriel, too.  He ruined his sexy shirt for him.  Victoria awkwardly says she’ll go check on the kids.  Chelsea beams at Adam that she doesn’t know why he’d rush back into a burning building to save a guy like Billy, but she is SO grateful.  “Me, too,” says Billy.  “But I am curious about something.  You said you didn’t come back to die like this.  Come back from where?”  Switzerland?  This alley?  Your  watery grave?  How about just saying thanks, Billy, is that so hard?

 

Stitch checks out the survivors.  Sage and Joe need to go to the hospital.  Avery just needs a blanket.  She didn’t see any other survivors.  Avery starts crying.  “It’s not good, Paul. I didn’t know if we were going to get out.”  Sharon asks if Nick stayed behind.  Yep, Hero Nick and Super Dylan weren’t going to leave until they found Nikki and the others.  “They could all be killed,” says Sharon.  But no one could convince them to leave.

 

The building creaks super ominously while Nick and Super Dylan keep trying to get through the rubble.  Super Dylan has a moment of doubt that the two of them can safely dig anyone out without another cave in.  Nick shouts that they are NOT LEAVING until they get everyone out, whether they crush them all to death or not.

 

Nikki and Phyllis argue about moving rubble.  “You saved my life,”complains Jack.  Victor says it wouldn’t be the first time.  “Why?” groans Jack.  “Because the people I care about, care about you.  You think I’d let you die because of a crumbling building?  If you die, it’s because of ME,” says the greatest narcissist of our time.  Besides, how can I ruin your life if you’re dead?  “I..I have to…tell you…”  Jack breaks off coughing.  “Is this about Adam?”  Phyllis interrupts so they can push a beam out of the way.  They break through to Victor and Jack!  Drunk Nikki wails that she owes Victor SUCH an apology!  They can worry about that later.  Phyllis holds Jack’s hand and weeps. The building rumbles. 

 

Billy keeps questioning Adam about what he came back for or from.  Adam just didn’t want to risk his neck to die a hero.  “Posthumously is not one of my favorite words,” he kinda laughs.  “But you’re okay with hero,” snipes Billy.  Omg, drag his ass back up there.  Then you’ll be a hero.  Chelsea says Billy’s trying to say thank you.  Really??  Adam smirks.  Victoria runs up with Katie Rose, and she and Billy blather and have a soul staring moment.  “Almost looks like they belong together,” Adam “casually” says to Chelsea.  Chelsea’s eyes go EEK!

 

Stitch has to insist Joe and Sage go to the hospital.  He needs his leg x-rayed, and Sage might have a concussion.  Better safe than sorry.  Avery’s fine.  She’d go with Joe to the hospital, but she wants to wait and make sure Dylan’s okay.  Sage asks Avery if she’ll tell Nick where she is.  “I’ll tell him,” says Sharon quietly.  She and Faith are going to wait there.  She’s worried about her daddy.  Sage has a hard time swallowing that, but she pulls her servant smile out at the end.  

 

Lauren lets Paul know that the fire’s out at the tower, search and rescue is at The Underground, so maybe things have slowed--  The Batphone rings again.  It’s for Paul.  Duh.  He listens and his face falls.  He hangs up silently.  What happened?!  “We have a report of a missing plane that originated from here.  Jill’s name was on the manifest.”  No, whispers Lauren.

 

Chelsea can’t believe Adam went back up there twice.  She thinks he’s a HERO.  Well, don’t go pinning any medals on him yet.  I do think he’d like a hug, though.  The EMT wants to check him out.  Nah, he’s fine, Billy’s the weakling who almost died upstairs, check him out.  Chelsea says not to listen to Mr. Bingham.  He’s a hero, and they need more people like him in Genoa City, so make sure he’s okay.  Adam’s forced to relent. 

 

Billy’s busy talking to Victoria about the other disaster at The Underground.  Nick and Jack are probably trapped inside.  I guess she forgot about her parents.  Then Billy, who couldn’t rescue himself, needs to go help with the rescue!  It’s too dangerous!  And he needs to be there for Chelsea and Connor anyway, even though they can’t go home.  She’ll just take her own kids to Crimson Lights to keep warm and hang around emergency services.   Worthless Billy gets jealous that Dr. Stitch is helping out trauma victims.   She’s glad he’s okay.  Bye.

 

Chelsea says that makes two of them that are glad he’s okay.  “Thanks to Gabe,” Billy says sourly.  Wait til you find out Victor just saved your brother, too.  Chelsea asks if Gabe said anything to give a clue WHY he would risk his life to save his next door neighbor?  Just something about being even now.  “What does that mean?”  Billy doesn’t know.  When he asked him about it, he just made some joke, but clearly they need to be really suspicious of a person that just saved his life.

 

Adam protests about being examined by the EMT.  He says he’s been through worse than this before, while pulling up his shirt.  The EMT can see that, that’s a nasty bullet wound on his unburnscarred skin.  Billy and Adam stare at each other.

 

Super Dylan keeps crawling through the debris.  He tells Nick they’re going to have to figure something else out.  If they heard pipe banging, they must be near a water source, because pipes don’t run along ceilings away from them.  “McAvoy’s right,” says Rescue Professional.  WAIT!  THEY HEARD IT AGAIN!  That could be Mom and Dad!  Rescue Professional says they need to get them out NOW.  “What does that mean?!” shouts Nick.  I think it means you need to get them out NOW.  Dylan says they’re running out of air.

 

Nikki thanklessly bangs the pipe some more.  Phyllis, please, HELP HER!  Nikki’s soooo [drunk] tired.  Victor tells Jack he KNOWS he can hear him.  What was he trying to tell him about Adam?  Jack’s like, Adam who?

[peacheslatour]

^^^^^^^ Abby also seems to have a sense of humor about who she is.  Dummer has no humor and I think if HK had at least that, she might make her character endurable.  She has zero self awareness.  I wonder if she ever watches the rushes or has ever even taken a single improv class

[klopek]

To quote, or not to quote, that is the question -  [Whether 'tis Nobler in the mind to suffer]  the overwhelming desire to quote this whole post in it's entirety.  For truth - for accuracy - for deliverance.  Peach, our lovely treasured Peach... you are quite simply amazing.  Thank you

[miamama]

The whole damn post, Peach.

 

I'm picking these for their brilliance but I could pick 50 more.

 

Chelsea remains at the foot of the tower.  She wants to go in there!  A firefighter tries to stop her.  THE WHOLE PLACE COULD BLOW!  Are they stockpiling munitions in there or something?

 

 

It’s okay, because Paul Newman is on it.  I mean, Adam.  His sexiness makes him impervious to smoke inhalation.

 

lol.

[movinon]

I have been without television and internet since sometime Thursday night, and what a treat to find re-caps for Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday in this thread.  This is the first place I went when things got fixed and think I'm going to bed and finish catching up in the morning.  Peach, all three re-caps are hysterical and I can't tell you how much I missed everyone.  I think I need to get a life. 

[peach]

Thanks, friends.  The dumber the episode, the easier it is to recap.  This one just kept on giving!! 

 

.  I think I need to get a life. 

 

Me, too!  lol!  Edited to add, I think *I* need to get a life, too.  lol  I wasn't agreeing that you need to.  :)

Edited February 23, 2015 by peach

[peach]

Fire.  Not really a big deal.

[PatsyandEddie]

SQUEEEEEEE! Paul Freakin' Newman! : thud

[miamama]

Fire.  Not really a big deal.

....when you are this handsome. ;)

[glowlights]

Meanwhile, I was hoping for Billy to look more like Kirk Cameron in Fireproof...

 

ETA: I really don't understand everyone's motivations (other than Noah, hey good lookin') to cover up this supposed murder. Fen admits to drugging them all, Summer admits to remembering the murder weapon, so that's a good defense for the rest of them, versus the risk of being charged for a freakin' murder cover-up. What's in it for Kevin, Mariah, Courtney, and Abby????

Edited February 23, 2015 by glowlights

[Suby]

SQUEEEEEEE! Paul Freakin' Newman! : thud

IKR?  One of thee most handsome, talented, classy man ever put on this earth!

[NinjaPenguins]

 

What's in it for Kevin, Mariah, Courtney, and Abby????

Summer's undying ingratitude?

[peach]

Fri, Feb 20    Way To Keep It In The Family

 

Back at the Abbott Cabin, the murder weapon is still in the plastic bag ,and Kevin brings us up to speed.  “So, Austin is dead.  We carried his body outside in the snow and arranged it to look like an accident.  We are committed to this.”  Mariah says it’s not like they can bring him back inside and thaw him out.  Everyone chides her for making jokes.  “Yeah, you’re right, let’s stick with panic and confusion.”

 

Noah says this is real, this is happening.  Yeah, and some of them have more to lose than others, says his nonfiancee, Courtney.  Fen’s not going back to prison, see, not for being an accessory to murder, see.  Summer just sits there frowning and contributing nothing.  Noah says they’re all agreed that they won’t let Summer take the blame for this because reasons.  They just have to get their story straight. So, it’s settled.  “No, it’s not,” says contrary Summer.  “I can’t do this,” she whimpers. 

 

Michael’s super tired at the station.  He tells Lauren he can’t get a hold of Fen.  He mocks a cabin full of 20yo’s who can’t use their smart phones.  Kids of fuzzy ages these days.  Blah blah.  The authorities have a general idea of where the plane crashed, but the weather’s still too bad to send a rescue helicopter up to find…well… “Survivors!” insists Lauren.  There have to be survivors.

 

Well, it will definitely take a miracle for the Winters crew to survive, because they’re all sleeping separately out in the frigging snow, after letting their campfire die out, instead of huddling together in the shelter of the fuselage.  They should all be popsicles by now, but Jill spazzes awake, so at least she and Colin are magically still breathing.  She’s so cold, Colin!  No kidding. 

 

Cane and Lily wake up.  Her burning anger is probably keeping them alive.  She’s pretty bummed out to find the plane crash wasn’t a dream. IKR?  She starts calling for Neil.  He was the only one smart enough to take shelter inside the plane, but probably just to get away from all the lying liars who lie.  Devon wakes up and tries to rouse Hilary the trauma victim who’s been sleeping under a blanket of snow.  She won’t wake up, you guys! I wonder what’s wrong.  Neil looks on bitterly.

 

Avery’s fallen asleep at Crimson Lights, and Sharon gently nudges her.  “Joe,” she mumbles, before waking all the way.  Oh…Sharon.  “The officers told you to go home last night and get some rest, but apparently you were having none of that,” says Sharon, who has no room to talk.  Sharon gives the child stealer some coffee, which Avery tries to accept without really looking at her.  “You were having quite the dream, it seems,” says Sharon.  Busted.

 

So, I guess Nick and Super Dylan have been crawling in the rubble all night, as The Underground seems to have expanded into the size of a warehouse.  I really don’t think this is how this works. 

 

Phyllis weeps on Jack’s chest and says she’s gonna get him through this.  Won’t be the first time, says Jack.  She got him clean and sober.  “What’s a little building collapse after that?” she weepy laughs.  Jack wheezes and coughs.  “Jack, hang in there,” orders Victor.  “Oh, God, what is taaaaking them so long?” moans ungrateful Nikki. 

 

Super Dylan scolds Nick for dropping more crap on their heads.  “We gotta find’em!  They could be running out of air!” growls Nick.  Super Dylan doesn’t want to hurt anybody in the process.  Too bad they don’t have any heavy equipment to dig them out from the top.  Oh, well.

 

Noah asks Summer if she remembers holding the bloody bookend.  Flashback to her hiding it in the cushions.  Yes!  WAAAAH!  Courtney asks if she remembers anyone else.  “I don’t have to, it had to be meee.”  Noah says this doesn’t make any sense.  He KNOWS her, she’s not a violent person, unless you count her whining as violence against my ears.  Yeah, but that drug, says Courtney.  That wouldn’t turn them into raving maniacs, insists Noah.  Shoot, whiskey’ll do that.  He thinks it just made them pass out!  After killing someone.  Kevin says Austin didn’t put himself in that armoire.  Yeah, but obviously SUMMER couldn’t stuff shove him in there herself.  NO WAY is this landing on Snowflake, says Noah.

 

Kevin asks who would want Austin dead?  Fen defensively says he barely knew the guy he was so jealous of.  He knows what they’re all thinking, that he’s the one who spiked the punch.  He just wanted to have fun!  “Drugging us all against our will, real fun,” says Mariah.  “You worked with Austin,” says Fen pissily.  “How well did YOU know him, all those late nights at the bar?”  They were FRIENDS.  “How well did YOU really know him, Summer?  You knew the guy five minutes before you married him,” sneers Fen.  I don’t understand this conversation.  Does Fen think Austin bashed himself in the head?

 

Courtney kneels down in front of Summer.  Was something going on between them lately?  Was Austin acting differently?  “Was he mean to you?” asks Abby.  Summer whines that they loved each other, they were EVERYTHING to each other.   That kinda makes Abby sick.  And she’s totally leaving out the big fight they JUST had over him being so IRRESPONSIBLE and quitting his stupid job.  But Austin was so kiiind and thoughtfullll.  He gave her Malibu Christmas!!  Courtney’s all, yeah, when he THOUGHT he was going to jail and didn’t think he’d have to spend the rest of his life actually with you.  “He made one mistake,” whines Summer.  Kevin says maybe there was more than one mistake.

 

Noah thinks this conversation is just upsetting Snowflake, and they have bigger problems right now.  There’s no point in dredging this stuff up now.  Kevin says the point is to find a motive!   “Who would have it in for Austin, because we’re all putting our asses on the line, to help that person get away with MURDER!”  I thought you were all trying to help SUMMER get away with murder.

 

Mariah walks up to Abby.  “I think I know the motive.  YOU.”  Abby looks guilty as sin.

 

Phyllis is starting to crack.  “DAMMIT, HELP US!!!” she shrieks hard enough to bring plaster dust down on their heads.  Victor’s like, PHYLLIS!  STFU!!  You’re using all the air!  Just keep quiet, K?  Jack starts talking, and Victor says that goes for him, too.  He doesn’t want to do another round of CPR on him!  Phyllis asks why Jack came back to the club.  To see Kelly?  “Because I was worried about you,” he mumbles, followed by gasping for breath. 

 

“I’m sorry I hurt you,” he says.   “Which time?” says Phyllis.  Then she tries to apologize for busting his chops while he’s smashed under boards and recovering from cardiac arrest.  No, it’s okay, it’s true.  “Ever since you came back, I’ve been trying to protect you and keep you from harm.  But I’ve done exactly the opposite, gasp, gasp.  This whole, gasp, stupid plan, gasp gasp, to cause an outburst.  Gasp gasp gasp.  I was wrong.”  What’s he saying, that he believes her?  That she’s not crazy?  Victor’s like staaaahp talking.  “Jack, I know you’re not saying everything,” accuses Victor, even though he just told them not to talk at all.

 

Super Dylan tells Nick the building is too unstable.  The head of operations is calling a halt until they can reinforce it.  What?  I thought Super Dylan was the head of operations.  “It’s MY building, I’M calling it.  I’m not leaving here!” exclaims Nick.  Super Dylan says that’s NOT a good option!  “MY PARENTS ARE IN HERE, DYLAN!  I GOTTA FIND’EM!”  Super Dylan understands that, but if they keep digging, people are going to be pancakes, including them!  “I DON’T CARE!” bellows Nick.  “YES, YOU DO!  Think about your kids!” says Super Dylan.  Nick makes a bunch more crap fall on their heads.  “We gotta get out of here and let RESCUE do their jobs! COME ON!” shouts Dylan.  Nick pants.

 

Devon lies on top of Hilary begging his baby to wake up, while Neil pouts in the jet.  She moves a little.  “She’s alive!” Devon announces.  Everyone’s like, meh.  He needs help!  Lily reluctantly crawls over to help put pressure on her leg wound, that for Pete’s sake, if it hasn’t clotted yet, she’s a goner.  Devon starts whining about how he can’t lose her!  No matter what Lily thinks of their love, blah blah--  Lily’s like, I KNOW, stop talking so I don’t have to kill you both myself. 

 

Neil and Cane walk around huddled in blankets.  Hey, how about somebody gets a fire going?  Nah, Cane wants to tell Neil he knows he should have come to him as soon as he found out.  He’s sorry.  Neil’s like, confess it to a priest, man.  Cane, who was disgustingly disgusted by Devon for a year, starts defending him, saying they knew what they were doing was wrong (HA!), and they wanted to tell him.    And then Neil lost his eyesight, and they didn’t want to hurt him, so they just didn’t say anything.  And kept banging each other under your nose and lying nonstop about it.  Neil says he can’t believe a single word coming out of Cane’s mouth.  “I just want you to look at them.  They love each other, Neil, and they love you.  And she doesn’t deserve to die.”  Well, that wasn’t very convincing.

 

Devon crawls away from Hilary to give an inspirational speech.  “Guys, we need to be real about the situation.  We’re on our own.”  Jill’s like, don’t be stupid.  People know they’re missing, they’ll send help.  Devon says, well, they’re not just gonna wait it out.  That would  make too much sense.  Jill’s like, what, you suggest we just march blindly out there??  “No.  Just me!”  FINALLY, a good idea!  Hopefully there’s a bear trap out there with his name on it. 

 

Lauren notices Michael looks exhausted.  He says everyone had a long night.   Don’t call his doctor, he’ll BE FINE, he snaps.  Then he admits he missed an appointment AND a radiation treatment.  Lauren’s like WTH is wrong with you?!  “You needed me,” shrugs Michael.  Lauren is PISSED.  “I am so sick of your excuses, and your selfishness, and this cavalier attitude!”  Then she weeps because she yelled at him.  She did need him, she’s just so scared.  Blah blah.   Paul told him the storm’s breaking soon, and they’re prepping the search helicopter to go look for Jill and company.  He assures her they’re smart people, and they’ll know their best bet is to stay exactly where they are.  Good one, Michael.  They have the survival skills of lemmings.

 

Jill says they’re in the middle of NOWHERE, okay, Devon can’t just go trudging off in his designer loafers.  They all argue about how stupid Devon is.  Bicker, bicker.  Neil thinks they’re ALL stupid, why don’t they just put it to a vote?  THERE IS NO VOTE.  Devon is going!  Jill is just gonna angrily SAY what everyone is THINKING.  “You and Hilary are in love, and it came at a great cost to all of us!”  And he needs to get her help, insists Devon!  “And you’re not GOING TO, and you KNOW IT.  You’re just determined to do this as some sort of a penance!” barks Jill.  Devon is so busted.  Neil keeps glowering at him.  Jill says it’s suicidal, and she’s not going to pretend to be on board with it, no matter how much Devon and Hilary suck.  They don’t even know what direction to go in!  Colin proudly produces a map.  Good for you, since you don’t know WHERE YOU ARE on it.   Oh well, anything to get rid of Devon.

 

Avery thanks Sharon for making coffee.  She notices Sharon’s cut.  Oh, it was just one of those things.  Avery awkwardly asks her about the, um, dream she was having.  Before she can answer, SUPER DYLAN and Nick come in the door!  Super Dylan explains they had to stop digging until they reinforced what’s left of the building.  Nikki and Victor are still trapped.  Sharon knows how hard this must be for Nick!  Her starts peppering her with questions.  What are YOU doing here?  Where’s Faith?  What happened to her head?

 

Faith is with a sitter now.  Super Dylan says the roads were terrible last night, and Sharon wanted to get Faith to the club, so--  Sharon interrupts before Dylan can take the blame.  “And I…lost control of the car and skidded off the road,” she admits calmly.   Sharon has Learned Her Lesson, you guys.   Nick goes on an obnoxious TIRADE about how she didn’t even CONSIDER how she risked their daughter’s life, etc., just as predicted.  “Why don’t you let her TALK instead of jumping down her throat!” says Super Dylan.  Nick cuts him a glare.  WTF, Super Bro??

 

Mariah thinks ABBY is the motive?  Where is that even coming from?  “I saw you with your tongue down Austin’s throat last night,” Mariah whispers intently, complete with fuzzy flashback of that exact thing.  They are really into it.  “You were loopy on drugged punch,” says Abby.  Mariah was NOT hallucinating.  Abby says they were ALL out of their minds.  Mariah doesn’t hear you DENYING it, Abby.  Abby thinks that is RIDICULOUS.  And the whole night was a big haze because of stupid Fen.  At a certain point, like the kissing Austin point, none of them can be held accountable for their actions!  “For all I know, I could have kissed YOU,” says Abby.  “You’re not my type,” snarks Mariah. 

 

Well…Mariah’s kissed him, too!  No, no, no, that was different.  That was just to stir shit up.  “It happened ONCE,”  says Mariah, realizing now that it really BUGGED Abby, didn’t it?  Whaaat?  Okay, well, yeah, but because of SUMMER.  Something tells Mariah that this is NOT the first time she’s locked lips with Summer’s husband. He didn’t look surprised AT ALL.  Abby thinks she’s been reading too much weird fan fiction.  Mariah’s light bulb goes off.  “That’s it!  That’s the REASON you invited us all up here for the party!  So you and Austin could be together right under his wife’s nose!”  Mariah’s mind is blown!  Abby says she doesn’t know what she’s talking about.  Fine, why doesn’t she ask if anyone else saw them last night?  Abby grabs her arm!  NO!

 

Abby tears up guiltily.  “So it’s true,” says Mariah.  “You and Austin, the party, making out, ALL OF IT!”  Abby finally admits it.  “Look at you…Abby Newman, putting the ho in homewrecker.”  Abby says to have some respect, the man is dead.  Yeah!  And Abby’s been sitting there holding his wife’s hand and comforting her!  “She’s my niece,” says Abby, tearfully.  “Way to keep it in the family,” snaps Mariah.  It’s called compassion, Mariah.  Well, she thinks Summer would have a very, very different word for it.  I don’t know, Summer doesn’t know a lot of words.  Abby can’t believe Mariah’s going to get all moralistic on her, after everything she’s done to her, and to Sharon!  Well, she’s not your aunt at least.   Abby knows she’d love to blab this to everyone, but think about Summer!  Think about what she’d be handing to the police:  the perfect motive!  Summer killed Austin because he was cheating on her.  “Or it’s the perfect motive for YOU, because he wouldn’t leave her,” says Mariah.

 

Kevin wonders what anyone has to gain from killing Austin.  Nervous Fen says the simplest explanation is usually the right one!  “There’s nothing simple about this, Fen!  Someone’s DEAD!  A guy we all knew, bludgeoned to death!” Kevin gets super worked up about not being simple minded or ignoring facts!  Courtney tells them to take a breath.  Kevin’s JUST SAYIN’ that they person who doesn’t want them to figure this out is the one who stuffed Austin in that armoire!  “MAYBE the simplest explanation has to do with the guy who DRUGGED THE PUNCH!”  Summer jumps up to WAAAAH some more.  Stop it, please!!  Noah tells Fen and Kevin to knock it off.  Blah blah, they need to KEEP THEIR HEADS....off rocks. 

 

Omg, phone service is back up!  “They know we’re here,” says Courtney, “they’ll  be sending help.  We need to take control of the situation.”  Noah says they CANNOT be seen fighting with each other.  Courtney says their lives and futures depend on them being on the same page.  Are they?  Everyone frowns.

 

Michael and Lauren worry about Jill.  Katherine used to call her, among other things, a tough broad.  Lauren says she has that survivor instinct.  She doesn’t quit.  Michael says they’re ALL someone you’d want with you in a crisis.  It’s a very capable group. Capable of boring you to to death.  But Michael says they also need to prepare for the worst, which would be all of them surviving.

 

Victor tells Jack to talk to him about ADAM.  Uh, he said his name, who knows why?  No, Victor says he rambled on and on.  What is it about Adam’s death he’s not telling him?  Jack gets shifty eyed.

 

Sharon explains to Nick that they had no power or heat.  She thought it would be better and safer to ride out the storm at a nightclub.  “And she had a fender bender like dozens of other people,” says Dylan.  Sharon called him, didn’t he get her message?  Actually, he did, since he left her one in return, but Nick pretends that didn’t happen.  This is about Sharon’s JUDGMENT!  “Well, maybe if you worried about putting the snow tires on Sharon’s car, instead of figuring out ways to take Faith from her—“  Wow, super burn, Super Dylan!  “That’s not fair!” says Avery indignantly.  Nick’s jaw drops open.  “No, you know what’s not fair is that Nick’s going to take something like this and twist it around,” chides Dylan.

 

Nick wants to know why DYLAN’S so involved.  Because he saw her car by the side of the road, and went to check on them.  Sharon was about to go into the snow to get the car by herself!  “Why?” asks Avery.  “So Nick wouldn’t find out, because of this EXACT reaction!”  YES, says Sharon.  She knew Nick would be…[an asshole] concerned.  Dylan says he told Sharon to give Nick the benefit of the doubt, but she was SO upset and afraid, that Dylan decided he would say HE was driving the car.  Avery’s like, wait a minute.  “You would have done that?  You would have lied?” she asks.  “After what’s been done to Sharon?  Yes!”  WOOT!

 

Nikki asks Jack what he knows about Adam.  Jack’s looking around, like, nice plaster they have here.  Nikki says given what could happen to them, Victor has a right to know.  Jack’s like, Adam.. Adam is.. well, Adam…  CRASH, BANG!  The rescuers break through!

 

Courtney calls The Chief.  The line breaks up before she can explain the accident, but a squad car is going to be coming.  Noah says there’s no going back now.  They have to get their story straight, which is always a good idea to do AFTER you call the police.  Mariah says Austin slipped and fell, it’s not rocket science.  But it’s forensic science, corrects Courtney, the most BASIC type of police work.  The story has to be MORE than logical and consistent.  Well, good luck with that.  Kevin says it’s how they tell it.  They “brainstorm” a story about Austin being obsessed with too much snow on the roof, and it caving in.  Maybe because of something in his childhood, suggests Abby.  Mariah says that’s stupid.  “I figured you for a better liar, Abby.”  Courtney says to JUST answer the questions and volunteer nothing. 

 

Noah says he’s gonna keep it really simple.  He’s gonna say he went out to help Austin get a ladder, and nobody else was around.  “You don’t know ANYTHING about what happened,” Noah tells Summer.  Summer worries.  Even not knowing anything might be too hard for her.

 

Colin can magically tell where they are on the map.  There’s a road ten miles away.  Devon’s got this!  Jill wishes him luck, and remember, there’s no shame in coming back to them.  Devon’s never heard of shame.  Colin gives him some navigation tips, and Cane gives him a granola bar.  He’s READY!  Lily sadly hugs him.  “Don’t do anything stupid.  Like dying.”  Devon’s going to be fine.  He doesn’t even have a hat on that bald head of his, but sure. He makes puppy dog eyes at Neil.

 

Courtney says no one knows exactly what happened.  Kevin says that’s the truth, and the most convincing lies usually contain some.  Summer asks if they’re telling about the drugged punch.  Courtney goes with the more vague “we were all partying.”  That will help when they say the details are fuzzy.   Fen stares at the murder weapon for a little too long.  “Are you remembering something?” asks Kevin.  No, of course not.  Fen acts all squirrely and says he’s going to go bury it, and set this all up.  He rushes out.  The others notice the squirreliness.   I have an idea…why not bury AUSTIN.  He has no family to look for him, and he just quit his job.  They could say he went out for a pack of smokes and never came back.  Who would care?

 

Sharon tells Nick she knew she couldn’t lie about the car, and she didn’t want to put Dylan in that position.  “Do you really think I would have used this to take Faith away from you?” questions Nick.  SERIOUSLY?!  YOU ALREADY DID.  Sharon’s like, hello?!  “Nick, I’m at your mercy.  YOU get to decide if and when I see our daughter.”  Seeing Faith is now a privilege, not a right, and she’s constantly walking on eggshells, worried she’s going to lose that privilege.   Nick’s stunned.  That’s not what heroes do.  “I don’t want you to live like that, make you feel like I’m watching every move you make.  I don’t want to live like that.  Sharon, you did nothing wrong,” he says, choked up.    Nick’s sorry, he’s just exhausted from digging all night through the concrete and metal of his dump of a club trying to find his parents!   “I feel terrible I made you question yourself like that,” after I savaged you in court as a crazy liar.

 

Nikki and Phyllis come stumbling in!  Nick supports his wobbly mom.  Avery goes for Phyllis, but Sharon wants to apologize for Dylan getting caught up in her mess.  “He’s a compassionate man,” who is in SOOO much trouble.  “Will you thank him for me,” asks Sharon.  “Sure,” says Avery, apparently resisting the urge to spit in Sharon’s face.  She hugs Phyllis.  They’re fine, they’re fine.  It’s Jack who needs medical attention.  His heart stopped!  He’s stable now thanks to Victor.  Nikki says Victor saved his life!  “DAD saved JACK’S life?” 

 

Victor and Jack bicker about who’s going first out of the rubble.  NO WAY is Jack going first, not so he can hear about THAT for the rest of his life, which might be very short at this rate.  Victor tells him to come to his senses!  God’s had just about enough of this childish squabbling and drops some more debris on them.  SPLAT!  That would be a fitting ending scene to the entire series, but I presume they will live and have to give each other organ transplants or something.

 

Devon’s soulful staring doesn’t have much of an effect on Neil, so he walks away.  He strokes Hilary’s face some more.  Blah love blah.  “Promise me you’ll come back,” she whispers.  Kiss promise kiss.  He goes back to get his map.  GASP!  IT’S GONE!  AND SO IS NEIL!

 

The gang tries to coach Summer on how not to be an idiot.  Courtney says she doesn’t have to hide how she feels.  As if that’s possible.  They stroke and comfort Malibu Murderer.  Courtney says there’s one question the police are going to ask, that they all need to think about.  “When was the last time we saw Austin alive?”  Ummm, when he went to get the ladder??  Did they already forget the fucking story??  Summer looks confused.

 

Abby has a flashback to one of the times SHE saw Austin alive.  They’re getting coffee at Crimson Lights.  “You’re like the perfect husband,” says Abby, who usually calls out felons as less than perfect.  She thinks it’s so annoying that he was so sweet creating Malibu Christmas for Summer.  Austin says Summer deserved it.  She needed something to get her through that rough patch when AUSTIN was going to prison.   Wow, Abby’s never had that experience with a man.  Remember how mean Tyler was to her, you guys?  So, does Austin have a brother, haha.  Nope, but she deserves to find someone who will treat her the way she deserves to be treated.    She snaps back to the present, looking upset.

 

Fen walks back in, in shock.  AUSTIN’S BODY IS GONE!!  Woo hoo!  Let the serial killing begin!

 

Dylan makes coffee, but Avery would like to have a stern talk about what happened with Sharon.   Sure, later, says Dylan.  “WHEN?” snaps Avery.  When they know everybody’s safe and sound, says Dylan.  Avery POUTS.

 

Dylan brings coffee to swooning Nikki and Phyllis.  Paul calls.  Uh-oh.  Dylan relays the news that the rest of the building collapsed.  “They did get everyone out, right?” asks Nick.  RIGHT??  Dylan’s stare says no.  Jack and Victor were still trapped inside.  OHH NOOO!

 

One last shot of the planks that smooshed our favorite arch rivals.

[Petunia13]

IKR? One of thee most handsome, talented, classy man ever put on this earth!

Word. Super handsome, extremely gifted, all around class act.

[MollyB]

 

So, I guess Nick and Super Dylan have been crawling in the rubble all night, as The Underground seems to have expanded into the size of a warehouse.  I really don’t think this is how this works.

Ok.  I found this Physics book in the GC Public Library.  The chapter on building demolition reads:  A building can be imploded or exploded.  When imploding, the building will fall in upon itself [see half the Las Vega Strip or Ocean's 11] and stay the same size.  If exploded, the building will burst out and and become larger.  I also checked the Law Library room and all it had in it was a game of Clue, a Ouija board and Judge Judy's missing gavel, oh,and a wanted poster of Sharon.

Edited February 24, 2015 by MollyB

[glowlights]

Jack’s looking around, like, nice plaster they have here.

 

LOL! Nothing but the BEST imploding plaster for a Newman establishment.

 

Speaking of plaster, has anyone noticed the dust that's all over Nikki and Phyllis's faces has a greenish tinge to it? It's the same way on my computer screen as my t.v. Maybe my contact lenses are drunk.

 

I laughed my ass off when Jill said not to go walking blindly around, in front of Neil. (Hopefully the writers did that on purpose, it was the only redeeming part of the episode.)

[peacheslatour]

 

Maybe my contact lenses are drunk.

*dead*

[NinjaPenguins]

 

The gang tries to coach Summer on how not to be an idiot.

And then they teach a hippo to dance the samba!

[peacheslatour]

 

They “brainstorm”

So a light drizzle?

[Foghorn Leghorn]

And then they teach a hippo to dance the samba!

and pigs fly!