Explain it to Me Like I'm Lily: Recaps for the Disenchanted

[Runningwild]

LOL As soon as I saw the title, I pictured Nick seeing Sage.

[Gigi]

Lol - so did I. Only NickDUHlas' attention could be diverted so easily.

 

Peach - I'm late to this feast of words, but if I haven't said it before your recaps are simply brilliant. Thank you for the laughs. :)

[peach]

I think the developers could just buy it from Victor, but that doesn't mean they can develop anything on it.  IRL, you'd have to deal with all the zoning issues, etc.  I don't know how it works in other cities, but in St Louis, they'd be trying to get TIF money to blight the warehouse district and get tax breaks, etc.  So I think it's about getting "the deal" made so they don't buy a useless hunk of property, making the big bucks leasing to Crimson Lights.  But...this Y&R, so it's probably just a random holdup.

[peach]

LOL As soon as I saw the title, I pictured Nick seeing Sage.

Honestly, I made myself LOL on that one.

Peach - I'm late to this feast of words, but if I haven't said it before your recaps are simply brilliant. Thank you for the laughs. :)

 

Thanks, Gigi, that's sweet! 

 

And to all the other folks who post nice comments, I'm sorry I don't always thank you each personally.  I try to make sure I hit "like" but I'm usually racing just to get the recaps posted.  It's safe to say I spend WAY too much time on this, lol.  So the "likes" are "thanks."  I kind of worry it doesn't seem very humble to like the comments, but I want to acknowledge them.  "Liking" compliments seems so....Billy Abbott.  lol

[peacheslatour]

 

So the "likes" are "thanks."

That's what I figured.  You are a treasure and we want you to know how much we appreciate having you here!

[movinon]

 

Nick’s too dumb to understand why Sherman would call Victor as a witness.  How would that help them?  “By claiming that my tormenting and harassing Sharon made her do what she did.”  Oh, that’s right.  “You mean because you hired Mariah to pose as Cassie, endangering Sharon’s well-being, and Faith’s in the process.”  Yeah, THAT.

Can't understand why this is so funny when you write it down, and it was so horrible and disgusting when Victor did it.  Guess that's why we keep reading your recaps - if we laugh, we don't have to whine so much.  

 

 

That's what I figured.  You are a treasure and we want you to know how much we appreciate having you here!

 

Goes double for me.  

[Snaporaz]

Funny, I was ready to sign a petition and join a Save Crimson Lights rally when Sharon started talking about Cassie's Corner. #ok2bfickle

And, hell yeah, Gwen's lingerie was totally wasted on Miss Devon.

Edited January 8, 2015 by Snaporaz

[Diane M]

Didn't Mariah says it's Cassie's birthday when she was in front of her grave?  Did Sharon and Nick forget this event that they celebrate every year?  Probably too mad at each other to remember.

[Runningwild]

Didn't Mariah says it's Cassie's birthday when she was in front of her grave? Did Sharon and Nick forget this event that they celebrate every year? Probably too mad at each other to remember.

Yeah I wondered where the graveside soliloquies were.

[crosby777]

 

Dylan stares at her blankly.  “That’s the look that made me fall in love with you,” she gushes.

LMAO this is fucking great stuff.

[Slowpokey]

This is on the U.S. show today.They have a birthday party for Cassie and Mariah.

[crosby777]

 

Nobody has that much power in daytime. He didn't tell MM to be a lecherous perv who talked too much smack on Twitter. And he didn't tell TIIC to miscast Maura West as DianeJenkins and tell her to play it as Carly (ATWT). They were fired without EB's help.

YES so many times.

[crosby777]

 

He's no worse than the rest of the scummy citizens of this town who all act like they're better than him, especially his own disgusting family.

NO SHIT!

[peach]

Wed, Jan 7

 

Dylan’s acquired some hipsters to go Occupy The GCAC during the cocktail party, but remember, it’s a PEACEFUL PROTEST.  Where have I heard that before?  Avery shows up.  They bluster and worry about the whole boring deal.  Well, Avery’s decided something.  “I want to get married,” she says rapidly.  “Right away!”  Dylan looks at her, like where is THIS coming from?

 

I guess it’s coming from Joe Clark just getting out of the shower and wrapping a towel around his waist.   He answers his phone, sounding exactly like Puddy.  It’s his real estate agent.  That’s right, he’s gonna need a permanent place to live.

 

Lily tells Cane the number of protesters outside is growing!  He says it’s not gonna be a problem for their security team.  Don’t worry about it.  Woman Of The People Jill smugly says she wouldn’t be so sure about that, there’s a small army amassing out there.  Lily frets that this could get really ugly, and ugly things are gross.  Alright, alright, Cane will go outside and tell the protesters and security team that they don’t want things to get contentious.  Easy peasy.

 

TGVN strolls in.  Jill runs up to bust his chops about supporting this project.  Again with the wrong side of history.  He says she’s been misinformed.  Then let Jill give him a little advice.  “Oh, yeah?  Amuse me.”  She says forget history…he doesn’t want to get on the wrong side of NIKKI, because Jill doesn’t think she’ll appreciate him siding against her son.  Victor smiles.  Honey Badger don’t care.

 

Nikki shows up at the police station.  Kevin’s on his laptop in Paul’s office, explaining that he’s located the computer, but its data is encrypted.  He’s working on acquiring the password now.  Distinguished Citizen Paul says okay, but keep it legal, because he wants it to hold up in court.  “WHAT?” says Kevin, smirking, like that’s the biggest bunch of crap he’s ever heard. Paul laughs, okay, ya got him, it’s for peace in his marriage.  I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP.  1) This sounds pretty obviously illegal. 2) What the heck does he want to stand up in court??  Is it suddenly illegal to sell property you own?  3) ABUSE OF POWER AND CONFLICT OF INTEREST.  Just sayin.’  But it’s all fun and games around the GCPD, tonight.

 

Paul’s overjoyed to see Nikki, as always.  She needs a favor.  She’s on her way to meet Victor at the club for the nefarious Joe Clark cocktail party.  Kevin mentions Dylan’s staging a protest and asked him to join in.  “But you told him you were working, right?” says Paul.  Kevin pouts.  Paul says with any luck, it will be a terrible presentation and the high rollers won’t invest.  Nikki’s quite the realist today, and says doubts that what will happen.  She’s worried about Super Dylan because the coffee shop is what gives him roots and makes him connected to GC.  Without the connection of serving coffee to local residents, he might leave!!!  “Is there any way you can help Our Son?”  Yes, I can picture it now, Dylan tying his few belongings in a bandanna on a stick, and hopping a train car.  Or worse, selling pencils in the street.

 

Mariah and Austin are working at The Underground, and she is in a BAD mood.  She’s regressed and is on one of her Rich Man, Poor Man rants, which I always find tedious, but I guess bad tipping is really working her last nerve.  Maybe they know you despise them, Mariah.  Anyway, she’s really giving grief to Austin because he smiles, and is grateful, and doesn’t MIND working as a bartender.  Austin probably gets tips, because of the smiling thing.  He’s pissed right now, though. “I don’t know what your problem is today, but STOP taking it out on ME.”  He walks away, and she looks a little sheepish.  She didn’t really mean it, you guys.

 

Jack’s at home, leaving voice mails for Red.  He thought she’d be home from her late meeting by now.  Summer shows up.  What…is she wearing?  Ugh, it’s awful.  It’s some kind of brown peasant dress with peach and silver rose sprays on it.  She needs to burn that ASAP.  She also has her hair in a cutesy little side braid.  So, she came by to get his advice.  Can he talk?  “You bet,” he says, touched and surprised that she came to him.

 

Kelly’s getting off the elevator at Jabot.  Uh-oh.  She’s dressed in an elegant, black dress and crazy high stilettos.  “Jack, you wanted to see me?” she calls, coming into his office.  The desk chair swivels around, and it’s PHYLLIS!  “No, I did.”  Kelly looks like she just found an old Tupperware container full of mold.

 

“You sent that message from Jack’s phone,” says Kelly in disgust.  “Did I?  Whoopsee,” snarks Phyllis.  “How many laws didja break gettin’ over here so fast?” she sneer laughs.  Kelly thinks Phyllis is ridiculous.  “Is that what this is, some sort of test?”  Yep, to prove how desperate she is to get back with Jack.  Phyllis slams her hand on the desk.  “A+ FOR YOU!!  Brownie points for speeding!”  Kelly says “I responded to YOUR fake text, which I think makes YOU the desperate one, and not a little pathetic.  What are you doing here?  Are you going to wag your finger in my face and tell me to ‘stay away from your fiancé’?” she mocks. 

 

“I called you here to put you on notice,” Phyllis says in a low, scary voice.  Kelly’s like, “Am I supposed to be scared?”  Cuuuuz she isn’t.  “You are no longer going to get away with the kind of stunt you pulled on NYE,” Phyllis continues.  “Oh, please, you cannot blame me for killing it in our matching dresses.  And it’s not MY FAULT that you ran out of gas, and had to walk to the club in yours!”  Phyllis stands up and leans on the desk, baring her teeth.  “You have no idea who you’re messing with,” she whispers.  Kelly leans right in.  “Neither do YOU.”  Demon Eyes whispery threatens, “I’m not going to lose this fight, so I’m giving you one last warning.  You back off Jack, and if you don’t, you will be very sorry.”  Kelly smirks.

 

Dylan’s like, when you say get married right away--  “TONIGHT!” cries Avery frantically.  “Tonight?  We’re kinda busy!”  Seriously, Avery, there’s a protest going on, Dylan doesn’t have time to go to the 24 hour wedding kiosk with you.  Avery’s like, then TOMORROW!  They love each other, what are they waiting for, blah blah.  Dylan regards her.  “He got to you!”  Even Dylan knows it’s because of Joe Clark’s hotel room shenanigans.  Avery protests and tries to charm Dylan into eloping with her.  “Come on, are you ready to make me Mrs. McAvoy?” she smiles.  Dylan shakes his head.  “No.”

 

Lily walks up to Joe to complain about the number of protesters DOUBLING.  I bet there must be six of them by now.  Hey, Joe expected some opposition, that’s WHY they’re having the party.  “To what?  Incite the masses?” snaps Lily.  The masses of Genoa City being incited sounds…well, it doesn’t really sound like anything.  Maybe a marshmallow roast.  Joe wants to educate them.  His plan will improve the lives of everyone in this city.  Bitch, moan, blah.  Joe says to convince the regular folk that this is for the greater good will take business savvy and charm.  “Fortunately, I have plenty of both,” he smiles.  “Wow, okay, well, excuse me while I go serve coffee to the regular folk.”  She struts off, and Joe realizes he may have just miscalculated.  He thought Lily was a way bigger snob.  (She is.)

 

Victor says Jill has never sided with Nikki before, why now?  Jill says they shared a love of Katherine.  And Katherine loved Genoa City and its history.  Most of all, she loved the people who lived and worked here.  She dedicated her life to preserving that.  This is just not the thing I remember about Kay Chancellor, but okay.  I guess this development plan is going to include genocide and mass graves the way Jill talks about it. 

 

She thinks Victor showing up as a guest of Joe Clark is disrespectful to Katherine’s memory.  O_o   “Much like what you’ve done to Chancellor Industries.”  He’s running it into the ground because of those FDA fines.  That were caused by HER idiot husband messing around with Bonaventure.  The real problem is that Jill will never understand why Katherine entrusted her life’s work to him.  “Why do you worry your pretty head?  Chancellor Industries will be restored to its former glory.  Now, you go on and run that little company called Fenmore’s.  You have a nice day.”  He winks and walks away.  Colin brings Jill champagne.  “You know, there is one thing that I will always fight for,” she says.  Colin thinks that would be him.  Ha.  “Katherine,” she says, plottingly.  Who left you with nothing but a necklace in a chandelier.

 

KEVIN says that we can’t let sketchy Joe Clark shut down a place like Crimson Lights that means so much to the community.  Kevin. Called Joe Clark. Sketchy.  Nikki can’t believe this entire project has even gone through the proper channels.  Like Kevin said, sketchy.  Yeah, so that’s why Paul abused his power a long time ago.  He already snooped into Joe Clark’s life and couldn’t find a thing on him.  Nikki’s so disappointed.  I guess that means Paul can’t stop it.  Joe’s just the broker, so it doesn’t even matter.  KEVIN just really finds it strange that the person who owns the holding company refuses to come forward.  He should have to answer to the people whose lives he’s messing with.  Nikki says there’s nothing they can do about it.  Hmm, well Kevin’s taking his LAPTOP and going somewhere with it. 

 

Nikki wants to thank Paul for not telling Victor about her drinky times.  Well, he’s still not sure he did the right thing.  I am, because all Victor would do is yell at him that YOU DON’T TELL ME WHAT NIKKI NEEDS.  I TAKE CARE OF WHAT NIKKI NEEDS.  Nikki assures Paul she’s stopped drinking and it was only because of all that stress last year.  And alcoholism.  “What happens the next time you face a stressful situation?  There’s going to come a time when life throws you something you can’t handle.”  Maybe even today.

 

Mariah practically begs Austin to tell her he knows what she thinks, so she can say he has NO CLUE what she thinks, and then beg him to tell her what it is.  Sure he knows, she’s trying to sort through her feelings about spending the holidays with people who actually care about her.  Life was tough, now it’s rich and fluffy, and this is somehow angst-inducing.  Austin says he had a good life until his mom died, then every holiday SUCKED after that.  But then Summer came along and changed everything.  Shows you what can happen when the right person comes into your life with a trust fund.  Mariah ponders.

 

Summer tells Jack she finally needs to decide what to do with her life.  Start by burning your dress.  “You can always come work for me,” he tempts.  She’s sure Grandpa would say the SAME thing.  But Summer doesn’t want to just be HANDED a job, she wants to earn it.  Jack felt the same way when he wanted to run the family company.  Gosh, so what did he do??  Well, this is kind of radical, but he went to college.  AND got an MBA.  Huh.  So…maybe that’s what Summer should do??  Go to school?!  Jack thinks there’s still time to sign up for the next term.  She should try all the things.  She’ll probably be SO GOOD at EVERYTHING that her real problem will be narrowing it down.  Maybe she can learn how to make a sandwich.  Summer is so glad Jack is such a great…guy.  Mom will be so psyched.  Jack’s glad she’s getting some good news, she’s been a bit preoccupied lately.

 

Kelly tells Phyllis she has a VIVID imagination.   Well, she’s not IMAGINING Kelly’s obsessed with Jack.  Kelly’s like, sure I care about Jack, but I’m not trying to undermine you and win him back.  Phyllis thinks she really hasn’t thought this through. One phone call to her BFF Lauren and she can prove SHE bought the dress FIRST!  Kelly says go right ahead.  “I’m sure Jack won’t think it’s crazy at all that you’re trying to solve The Mystery Of The Matching Dress,” she says mockingly. 

 

Phyllis asks if Kelly really thinks Jack is going to “come to his senses” and choose her over Phyllis?  Kelly makes a smug face that says fuckin’ A, I do.  Phyllis’ mouth drops.  “You need to WAKE UP to the cold, hard truth.”  Jack was just looking for a port in a storm.  “If it makes you feel better to think that, you go right ahead, but what Jack and I had was real.”  Phyllis makes a FIST to display her engagement ring very close to Kelly’s face.  “THIS is real.”  Kelly smirks.  “The ring is.”  Phyllis says so is Jack’s love for her, that’s why he put this ring on her FINGER! The fist explodes into a JAZZ HAND!  OMG, NOT THE JAZZ HAND!!!  “Sure he didn’t do it out of a sense of guilt?”  Isn’t that what REALLY has her worked up, the possibility that Jack sticks with her out of obligation.  Phyllis is SURE of Jack’s love!  “Then why are you wasting your time worrying about lil ole me?” 

 

Meanwhile, back at The Underground, the song playing is, “Boyfriend, Girlfriend.”  Hmm.  Mariah’s mixing drinks while Austin tells her she could use someone like Summer in her life.  Mariah stares.  “I’d kill myself.”  Austin laughs.  “It’d be good for you.  You know, you and Kevin could—“  Mariah’s like, hey, she and Kevin are just friends, and not even that really.  Austin insists they could have something more.  “And you could have something less,” she replies, and here comes Summer now. 

 

Can Mariah not be there so she can talk to her husband at work?  Mariah says if she has to deal with rude, obnoxious people, she might as well get paid for it.  She finally walks off with the drinks.  I can see why she gets lousy tips.  So, Summer has made a decision, and she’s not sure how Austin’s going to feel about it.  As if he might disapprove that she’s going to college down the street where she can be super great at everything.

 

Joe Superman approaches Lily and Jill and says the turnout was even better than expected, and look who decided to show, even after she swore she wouldn’t.  Jill says she just couldn’t resist seeing the look on his face when his proposal was rejected by Genoa City’s elite.  She asks if he’s really not having any doubts.  Nope.  In fact, he’s looking for a permanent place to live.  “Too bad there’s not much inventory out there,” says Jill.  Really?  Sounds like they need to develop some.  “Yeah, well, fortunately for me, not too many are looking in my price range,” he smiles. 

 

He excuses himself, and Jill and Lily roll their eyes over his arrogance and hotness.  Mrs. Colin Atkinson just does not trust Mr. Tall, Dark, and Oily.  Lily heaves a deep sigh, tosses her head back, and says, yeaaaah. Blah blah sharks in suits.  Jill just wishes she had the weight of Chancellor behind her so she’d have the power AND the influence to stop this deal and not make money!  Lily sort of smirks about Jill STILL not being over losing Chancellor to Victor.  Omg, it’s been like a whole year since you lost your job and your all your money, what’s the big deal.

 

Jill still doesn’t understand it, okay.  Granted, Kay respected Victor’s business acumen, who wouldn’t?  Like, business acumen that develops downtown property?  That kind of acumen?  “But Katherine never viewed Chancellor as a corporate entity.  Her whole heart was in that company.  You’d think she’d have chosen someone with the same emotional attachment she did.”  Cuz emotion pays the bills.  Like you, asks Lily.  “Someone NOT Victor,” says Jill.  Lily says Cane misses running Chancellor as much as she does.  “So, I told him, he should just go for it.”  Wanna run a Fortune 500?  Sure, just go for it.  Lily thinks they should talk.

 

Nikki smiles at Paul.  She wishes he wouldn’t worry about her, even though it’s her favoritest thing ever.  She’s got everything under control.  Paul says she’s one of the strongest melodramatic crying people he’s ever known!  But everyone has a breaking point.  “I agree.  Mine was with Ian, but that’s behind me now.”  Paul tells her she doesn’t have to do this alone.   She’s NOT, she’s going to meetings, working the program, and even looking for a new sponsor besides that plaque on the wall.  Well, Paul will always be there for her.  Duh.

 

Avery can’t believe this.  She thought Dylan would be just as eager to get married as she is, since he loves running off doing stupid, impulsive things.   Of course he wants to marry her, that’s why he gave her that ring.  But he’s not gonna let Joe dictate when they get married.  It’s too important to let him influence it ANY way.  Blah blah, love hope dreams, blah.  If Dylan wants to wait til the redevelopment thing is wrapped up, she’ll wait.  Okay, well, now he doesn’t.  He just didn’t want to rush things for Joe. “But I will for us.”  What is he saying?  “I’m saying let’s get married!!  Avery hoots and they start kissing.  I guess it’s off the wedding kiosk. 

 

Paul gets a call from Cane.   He’s worried about the number of protesters at the club.  Paul better get over there and make sure things don’t get out of hand.  They leave, while Kevin keeps trying to uncover who Gerolamo really is.

 

Colin talks to Joe about the protesters.  Joe thinks by the end of the evening even they will support this project.  Are they going to broadcast it outside?  Colin asks if ever got to ask his investors about including him in the consortium with the money he extorted from Devon?  He did.  “Welcome aboard, Mr. Atkinson.”  They shake on it. Colin is thrilled!  Victor walks up.  Colin says Joe won him over, if by that you mean Colin begging him to include him since the second he heard about it.  Joe says by the end of the night there will be many more.  “Then it should be a very rewarding evening for you,” says Victor, filled with satisfaction.

 

Phyllis says, “You think I’m threatened by you?”  “Well, I slept with your man.  In your bed.”  Phyllis says that was amateur hour.  She will not make her doubt Jack’s love with her mind games.  Kelly’s like bitch, please.  “I’m not the one who likes to play games, Phyllis.  YOU are.  You’re the one who likes to manipulate people, and watch them twist!”  Look at the way she showed up at Shick’s wedding!  She didn’t care what that did to Noah, or Faith, or even NICK!  “I saved Nick from a nightmare,” says Phyllis.  “You did it for your OWN vindictive pleasure!  Just like when you asked me to plan your wedding, knowing FULL WELL who I WAS!”  They stare at each other.  “Do you honestly think that Jack is going to want to spend the rest of his life with a spiteful MONSTER like you?!”  Phyllis tells her to shut up!

 

JACK is walking off the elevator and can hear them!  “Do you hear me?!” says Phyllis.  “SHUT. UP!”  We hear a slapping sound, and Kelly squeals, Ow!  Jack walks into his office, and sees Kelly standing there with her hand on her cheek.  What’s going on, here?  Kelly holds her cheek, and points at Phyllis.  “Phyllis hit me!” she cries.  Phyllis stares at her like, wwwtf?

 

Kevin catches up to Avery and Dylan before they can leave to get instamarried.  “Clark never intended to set up that meeting between you and the seller!”  Avery’s like how did you know about that?  Well, he told Michael he wouldn’t hack to find out the owner of Geralomo, but he did it anyway.  “It’s not good news.  It’s the worst answer you’d want to hear.”  Dylan asks who owns it.  “VICTOR.”

 

Nikki and Paul both get to the club.  Victor asks if he’s there for the presentation or police business.  Cane says he asked him to come because of the protesters.  Paul says everything’s under control right now, and he’s there to make sure it stays that way.  Well, Victor certainly hopes so.  He probably wants to tear gas everybody, but I’m sure Paul’s just going to give them a good talking to. 

 

“Are you sure??” asks Avery.  Kevin says Victor IS Gerolamo Ltd.  Dylan’s like, then Victor’s been lying to Nikki, to me, to everybody, this whole time!  “So has Joe,” Avery says sadly, looking into the distance.  Um, no, Joe never told you who it was.  Kevin just wanted to let them know right away.  He hasn’t told anyone else.  He leaves.  Dylan says Victor never even crossed his mind!  “Are you kidding me?  THAT SON OF A BITCH!” he screams, pounding the counter.  Avery looks worried.  She should really carry tranquilizer darts. 

 

Mariah’s wiping down tables, and sullenly holds up a dollar bill.  Kevin walks in and sits down.  He came down hoping she could make a crappy day a little less crappy.  “Want some tequila?” she says without enthusiasm.  No, he doesn’t think that’ll help.  “What’s so bad that tequila can’t fix?”  He just had to drop some news on some people.  He hated to do it, but felt it was the right thing.  Let her guess, it didn’t make them very happy.  He says it didn’t, but maybe they appreciate him telling them.  “Well, it’s too late now if it didn’t!  Once you tell somebody something, they can’t unknow it!  Sometimes it just winds up making everything worse!”  Kevin squints.  “Who’re we talking about now?” Mariah snaps never mind, it doesn’t matter, and stomps off.

 

Summer brightly tells Austin that she’s going back to school!  He’s like, that’s GREAT!!  “Why’d do you think I’d be upset?” now that you’ll finally stop crawling down my throat for attention!  Well, because they won’t have that much time together anymore, as in every second.  She’ll be in class while he’s at home during the day, and then studying at night when he gets home from work.  Austin thinks it’s worth the sacrifice.  She put her whole nonlife on hold for him when they got together, so she REALLY needs to do this for herself!  Summer’s like, are you sure?  Austin smiles wider than I’ve ever seen.  “Come on, Summer, you DESERVE this!   He bets her mom is even happier about it than he is, since she hates Summer being glued to a bar stool all the time.  But her mom wasn’t home.  Austin asks if she’s okay.  Summer says she’s still getting used to being back, but as long as she has Jack, she’ll be fine.

 

Will someone tell Jack what is going on here??  “I’ll tell you what is NOT happening,” says Phyllis.  “I did NOT slap her!  She heard your voice outside, and she FAKED like I hit her.”  Kelly cries and points at Phyllis, “Jack, I have never lied to you!  This woman is PATHOLOGICAL!”  Oh, you wanna see pathological?  Phyllis makes a run at Kelly with her hand raised.  She will slap you silly right in FRONT of Jack.  But Jack yanks her back.  “Do you SEE?” cries Kelly, “Do you SEE the way she’s going after me?!!”  Phyllis is like, are you going to BUY this victim act!  “This is NOT an act, Jack!  You ask her how she got me here!  She texted me from YOUR phone!”  Hanging Phyllis with her own rope.  Brilliant.  Kelly runs out the door.

 

Jack grabs his phone.  “Did you use this to text her?”  Well…yes, but to prove a point!  “I asked you to leave the pettiness behind with Kelly!!”  Phyllis says Kelly is NOT letting it go!  “When you do things like this, how am I supposed to trust you?!”  Phyllis can’t believe this is happening.  “Okay, I lied to Kelly to get her here, but I did NOT LIE to YOU.  I did not hit her, Jack, I swear!”  He’s looking at her suspiciously.  “Tell me you believe me.”  Ummm….

 

Joe gives the presentation for the development project.  He strays dangerously into Neil’s hypnotic trance talk, but I forced myself to concentrate, so I could report on this evil plan.  It will incorporate luxury apartments, fine dining, entertainment, shopping, and an outdoor area for everyone to enjoy.  Omg, it has PARKING, pools, an outdoor fitness center, and an oncall concierge service.  The outdoor areas will have biking and walking paths, and a park with a pond for small boats.  And several corporations are interested in moving their headquarters here, creating additional jobs.  Well, that just sounds disgusting.  How could you tear down a coffee shop for THAT? 

 

Dylan comes marching in, right through the presentation, with Avery behind him.  She gives Joe a dirty look.  Dylan marches up to Victor.  “It’s you!  You’re the one selling us out!”  Nikki looks shocked.  Victor gazes at him.  Honey Badger don’t give a shit.

 

Austin tells Summer he’s sorry he can’t celebrate his emancipation from her, babe, but he has to close.  Summer doesn’t mind waiting!!  Kevin walks up and asks what is taking Mariah so long?  Is she doing a full inventory back there or something??  Austin’s like, she’s not there, bro.  “I don’t know what to tell you.”  Summer mocks that Mariah ditched him.  No, Kevin says something’s not right.  She was acting weird earlier.  Something’s not right.

 

Mariah is standing at Cassie’s grave.  Aww.  She gently strokes some flowers lying there.  “Happy Birthday to us, Sis,” she says sadly.  Feelz, but, wait, what?  Cassie’s birthday is a national holiday.  There is NO WAY Sharon would have forgotten MARIAH’S first birthday at home, no matter what.  I bet Ian Ward gave her the wrong birthday, and now she thinks no one cares.  Dammit, Ian!

 

“I don’t want to believe you hit Kelly!” says Jack.  “I.DIDN’T!” says Phyllis.  Well, the Kelly he knows wouldn’t lie about something like this!  “And I would?” asks Phyllis.  Umm…well, he’s not saying THAT, but of course you would.  Jack thinks maybe…it was a misunderstanding?  Right, Kelly misunderstood slapping herself.  “KELLY is lying to you!  And she’s going to KEEP lying to you, because she hasn’t accepted that it is OVER!”  Jack says Kelly’s been through a lot of loss, and she needs time to work through another one.  “She needs time in therapy!  And away from you!  And if she DOESN’T, then Ima gonna—“  Jack tells her to calm down, acting like this doesn’t make it any better.  She’s expending all this energy, for WHAT?  Phyllis gets tears in her voice.  “For US.”  Jack says listen, she has him, he loves her, they’re getting married!  “I know,” she whispers, “but it always seems to slip away.”  Jack says, “The only person who can take away what we have…is you.  Don’t do it.”  They hug.  “I love you so much,” whispers Phyllis, but I have to fight for what’s mine.”  Jack worries.

 

“It’s true, isn’t it?” shouts Dylan.  “You own all that property, and you’re going to sell it to Joe Clark and his investors!”  Joe walks up and says he knows Dylan’s upset, but this is a private event--  “I’m not going anywhere til I get some answers!”  Joe asks Cane to call security.  Look, Paul thinks if they can keep this civil, then it’s not necessary for him to admit his son is trespassing and disorderly.  He asks Dylan what this is about.  “We illegally looked into the holding company selling the land, and it turns out it belongs to VICTOR NEWMAN!!!”  All the rich people gasp for no reason whatsoever.  One lady in the background has her jaw drop open in hysterical fashion.  “You been lying to me, to Nikki, TO EVERYBODY!” screams Dylan. 

 

“You don’t walk into a public forum, and make accusations you know nothing about,” throaty growls Victor.  “I don’t like it.”  Nikki’s incensed.  “Is this true?  Are you the one responsible for pulling Dylan’s business right out from under him?!”  What’s a billionaire’s son to do now?  Good thing she’s already at the bar.  “This is a business transaction.  And NO ONE..will stand in the way of it,” says Victor sternly.  Dylan glares.  It’s clobberin’ time!

[Joimiaroxeu]

“So, I told him, he should just go for it.”  Wanna run a Fortune 500?  Sure, just go for it.

It's so ridiculously amateur, like those old 1930s musicals: "Hey, my uncle has an empty old barn! Let's put on a show!" Jill, Cane, and Colin maybe together have a few million bucks tops. Hardly seems like enough to "go for" a Fortune 500 company.

 

I guess TPTB want to return to Y&R's heyday when they had storylines full of awesome corporate intrigues but this one ain't gonna do it. If Victor owns the property, he's entitled to sell it. Period. Ain't nobody feeling sorry for Nikki and Paul's 200 lb. baby. He should be grateful Starbucks hasn't run him out of business.

[peach]

Right?  And why can't a brand new and improved Crimson Lights be included in the damn thing, with a replica of Cassie's Corner.  No, Dylan loses his lease and his live is completely OVER.

[Desperately Random]

Right?  And why can't a brand new and improved Crimson Lights be included in the damn thing, with a replica of Cassie's Corner.  No, Dylan loses his lease and his live is completely OVER.

It really is just about the dumbest argument ever for stopping a development deal. And yet I still want Victor to lose which means St. Dullen  wins but I just don't think I can take Victor winning again. Even though this may be the one time he is on the right side of things. I want him to lose for all the times he should have lost or at least paid some consequences for the pain and suffering he has caused over the years. I know he lost over the Boniventure  deal but I wasn't watching then and I really have no idea what that whole thing was about except Cane and Colin were involved.

[movinon]

 

“You don’t walk into a public forum, and make accusations you know nothing about,” throaty growls Victor.  “I don’t like it.”  Nikki’s incensed.  “Is this true?  Are you the one responsible for pulling Dylan’s business right out from under him?!”

I despise both Victor and Dylan so much I can't even believe it - it's hard to make a choice.  I guess, in the end, my Victor hate outranks my Dylan hate.  Dylan is just dull, stupid, and boring - Victor is evil enough to watch a woman fall into a volcano without trying to help, and then let another woman go to jail for killing her.  Hiring Mariah to drive Sharon crazy is beyond disgusting - maybe in 30 more years, I could hate Dylan this much, if I were still alive..

 

Go to school?!  Jack thinks there’s still time to sign up for the next term.  She should try all the things.  She’ll probably be SO GOOD at EVERYTHING that her real problem will be narrowing it down.  Maybe she can learn how to make a sandwich.

The thought of Summer in college boggles the mind - the  thought of her in middle school is scary enough.  This one makes my day, Peach - I had forgotten about that stupid sandwich.

[peacheslatour]

 

JAZZ HAND!  OMG, NOT THE JAZZ HAND!!!

Lol!  All I could think of when I read this was Nic Cage in The Wicker Man screaming NOT THE BEES!!!!!

[Petunia13]

That recap was a really funny one. I loved the Occupy GC, sandwich, selling pencils in the street lines. It's like you remember things I think are funny or quirky on this episode and the past and tie them all together in a hilarious package.

Edited January 10, 2015 by Petunia13

[MollyB]

 

Mariah’s mixing drinks...I can see why she gets lousy tips.

Continuity is one of my many hangups.  Bad continuity almost ruined Cat on a Hot Tin Roof for me just because of the bourbon pouring/drinking scene with Big Daddy and Brick.  Anyhow, back from my old person ramble-Mariah clearly pours gin (or maybe vodka) into two iced glasses, pulls up a bottle of tonic (or soda), then opens the bottle but does not pour anything into the glasses, slides behind Asstin to grab a couple of cherries (!) to plop in the glass and then carries them by hand to her non-tipping customers.  I consulted my craft-cocktail bartender son and no, there's no new drink the incorporates cherries and gin/vodka.  Although he did say, diplomatically, that you can really put anything in a drink you want.  How this bar stays open is beyond me-quick,  call Bar Rescue!

[crosby777]

 

Mariah’s mixing drinks...I can see why she gets lousy tips.

No kidding.. she is a nasty witch.

[Suby]

I despise both Victor and Dylan so much I can't even believe it - it's hard to make a choice.  I guess, in the end, my Victor hate outranks my Dylan hate.  Dylan is just dull, stupid, and boring - Victor is evil enough to watch a woman fall into a volcano without trying to help, and then let another woman go to jail for killing her.  Hiring Mariah to drive Sharon crazy is beyond disgusting - maybe in 30 more years, I could hate Dylan this much, if I were still alive..

The thought of Summer in college boggles the mind - the  thought of her in middle school is scary enough.  This one makes my day, Peach - I had forgotten about that stupid sandwich.

I'm with you on this movinon. 

[MollyB]

 

No kidding.. she is a nasty witch.

Yeah, I forgot to add to my list that all the while she's 'mixing' these drinks she's bitching.  Hey, customers hear that stuff-keep it in the back room. 

I like Mariah when she's with Kevin, too, but the rest of the story of being Cassie's Clone (too close to Cathy's Clown, for the old folks out there) is dumb.  Pick a lane-compromise with your biologicals and try to be family or leave.  Being pissed for the past doesn't really make anything better.

[peach]

Thurs, Jan 8   The Palace Coup Is A Go

 

Victor asks Dylan where he got this information.  “It doesn’t matter how we got it, we know it’s you.”  Sadly, it’s not going to matter, is it?  Hack away, Paul’s Son, hack away.  Nikki asks if Victor’s been keeping this from her??  Victor thinks about it.  “I never denied owning this land.”  Yeah, did you ASK, Nikki?  No, you didn’t.  She starts yelling about all the times they’ve discussed the fight Dylan is in--  but Victor talks over her.  “How DARE you talk to me like this now!  When everything is revealed, you’ll find out this is nothing personal.”  She’s like how is driving Her Son out of business NOT PERSONAL!  “I am telling you it is NOT.”  It’s just a bonus.

 

“Did you know Victor was in on this?” Lily whispers to Cane.  It’s the first he’s heard about it.  Colin says it seems like his good buddy decided what he didn’t know, couldn’t hurt him.  Yes, this hurts Cane ever so much.

 

Mariah’s still sitting at Cassie’s grave, when along comes Nick with a huge bouquet of flowers.  Well, doggoneit, it really is their birthday.  EPIC FAIL, Newman Family.  Nick lays down the flowers.  “Happy Birthday, Squirt.”  Oh, and uh, “Happy Birthday to you, too, Mariah.”  No flowers for the living.  Gosh, thanks for the birthday wishes when you just accidentally ran into her in a cemetery, asshole.  And for making her WORK TONIGHT.  She does say thanks, though.  He asks if she has big plans.  You mean, besides WORKING IN YOUR BAR?  “I’m sure Cassie always had a big birthday party with lots of presents and family around, but for me it was like any other day.”  Kind of like today.

 

Nick frowns.  Oh, that’s right, you were raised in Ian Ward’s cult by a woman who hates you.  That totally slipped his mind.  Mariah says the only birthday they celebrated in The Path was Ian’s, of course.  “I’m sorry,” says Nick.   Mariah doesn’t need his pity or anybody else’s.  “It’s not pity, Mariah, it’s compassion.  And you need to learn the difference.”  Compassionate Nick says he just wishes some things had worked out differently for her.  “Well, there are a lot worse things,” says Mariah, “I could have had a happy, loving family and watched it all fall apart.”  Nick winces.  Ouch, Mariah.

 

Sharon’s sitting with Noah at the cottage.  She thanks him for going to the cemetery with her today.  Blah Cassie blah.  “But I’m glad I get to make up for lost time with Mariah now.”  She says they’ll celebrate her birthday when she gets home from work.  Just something simple, because Sharon knows she wouldn’t be comfortable with anything elaborate.  I guess a text would be super elaborate. 

 

Also, Sharon doesn’t have a lot of time to spend on her long lost daughter’s first birthday at home because she has one of those nighttime job interviews.  It turns out Frank Sinatra was confused.  GENOA City is the city that never sleeps.  If she gets this job it will show the court she’s a stable parent.  She gets weepy thinking of all the moments she’ll lose with Faith if Nick gets his way.  Faith has come down the stairs behind them and is listening!  Noah asks if the mediation was that bad.  “Worse,” says Sharon. 

 

Faith creeps away, and explains to her doll that Mommy and Daddy fight a lot, but they still love each other.  And one of these days they’re going to get married.  Just like Summer said, all they need is a little push.  Please, show, don’t let Faith go crazy.

 

Kevin asks how often Mariah just takes off in the middle of a shift.  Austin says once in a while.  OH EM GEE!  Trust fund baby Summer says he’s being WAY too nice!  How many times has he had to cover for her?  Austin insists she’s been more reliable lately.  Kevin says she seemed upset earlier, he wonders if something happened with Sharon.  Altruist Summer asks why he spends any time worrying about her??  Mariah cares about herself, and that’s pretty much it.  Kevin says that’s not true.  She’s not a coldhearted person, Summer just doesn’t understand her.  “And you do?  How well DO you two know each other exactly,” she says snottily.  Hmm, well, I guess he doesn’t know her as completely as someone who married a dude after two days of running from the cops for attempted murder.

 

Lauren and Michael sit in another doctor’s office.  She sits tensely, rubbing her folded arms, probably because she’s wearing a sleeveless dress in January.  Michael blathers about reading this guy’s articles about using a less aggressive approach.  He thinks he’s TOTALLY in sync with THIS doctor.  All the other sadists just want to destroy Michael for the fun of it.  Lauren thinks that’s GREAT, maybe he can actually START treatment, instead of collect opinions.  He pouts and says she sounds like Kevin who thinks he’s just trying to delay the inevitable.  Duh.  Doctor J comes in.  He understands they’re looking for a second opinion.  Ummm, yeah, or like a seventh, whatever.  Michael’s interested in beating this cancer without losing…who he is…along the way.  So, Michael’s a dick.

 

Noah thought Sharon wanted to SHARE custody.  She does, but Sherman thinks she has to take a strong stance or she doesn’t have a fallback position.  Blah blah, custody battles suck.  Sharon hates this, too, but what else can she do?  She’s terrified of losing Faith! 

 

Faith runs in with a  birthday card she made for Mariah.  She wants to make a batch of Cassie’s special cookies and share them with Mariah since it’s her birthday, too!  Sharon thinks Mariah would LOVE that!  Faith says she’ll call Daddy to come help!  Ruh-roh.  Noah says he thinks it will just be the three of them this year, plus Mariah.  Sharon says they’ve talked about this.  Faith tells her they promised she and Daddy would both still be there for important things.  “Isn’t Cassie & Mariah’s birthday important to you?”  Faith plays hardball, you guys.

 

Compassionate Nick is telling Mariah how he doesn’t want to go to the trial he demanded having.  But Sharon’s lawyer is doing a great job trying to make him out to be the terrible father he is.  Which in turn makes things more contentious, which isn’t great for Faith.  “I wonder what Cassie would have thought of all this,” she replies.  Oh, Cassie hated it when they fought.  She always felt like it was her job to resolve the conflict. 

 

Flashback to one of the times Young Shick had to tell Cassie what a shit Nick is.  He says it’s one of those things when they’re both right, and they’re both wrong.  “If you know that,” says cute Little Cassie, “then why don’t you both be half-wrong?  Then you’d be even.”  Because Nick can’t keep it in his pants.  But Nick reminisces about what a peacemaker Cassie was.  She was wise beyond her years, using basic logic, like all the other wise, dead children of GC. Mariah says that’s another area where she and Cassie are different.  “People are always asking me when I’m gonna grow up and act like an adult instead of a punk kid.”  Nick doesn’t think she ever had a chance to be a kid.  More compassion, asks Mariah.  “Am I wrong?”  Sure, she always imagined there was something better out there.  Turns out there was, just not for her.

 

Kevin explains to sulky brat Summer that he and Mariah both had tough childhoods and understand each other.  And what Summer sees as “attitude” is just Mariah putting up walls to protect herself.  This whole new life of hers is a big adjustment.  Summer suddenly realizes today is Cassie’s birthday.  Austin’s like, omg, then it’s Mariah’s birthday!  That’s why she doesn’t want to be here!  Kevin goes after her.

 

Austin risks a slap and tells Summer that Kevin kinda made some good points.  Summer doesn’t want to hear that!  “You grew up without a dad and still turned out to be a kind, decent person!”  On probation for multiple felonies.  Austin says the decent part is up for debate.  NO.  He is A Decent Person Who Made A Mistake, that’s it!  Stalking, armed kidnapping, shooting the chief of police, evading arrest. That’s at least four mistakes.  Well, Austin thinks deep down, where it counts, Mariah’s decent, too.  Summer’s like UGH!  WHY are you always defending her?!  Austin thinks that’s dumb.  And why does Summer get so upset when her name comes up?  “Because her name always seems to come up!” bitches Summer.  ONLY MY NAME SHOULD COME UP!!  WAAAH!!  Austin’s like, whatever, he has work to do.  He walks away, and she is STEAMING. 

 

Nikki keeps yelling at Victor.  “Listen, you and I will discuss this later, you got that?”  Nikki turns to Dylan.  She would apologize on Victor’s behalf, but there’s no point.  He has a long history of underhanded behavior, and that’s not gonna stop any time soon.  She storms off.  Avery’s making her stank face.  “Let me just say this,” says Victor.  “I don’t quite understand what’s happening here.”  Because I’m getting senile.  “I understand that I’m LOSING my business!” says Dylan.  “Dylan, there are larger considerations than your coffee house, you remember that.”  Now, don’t you feel selfish? 

 

Jill says it sounds like he has a real mess on his hands.  “Your ignorance is only surpassed by your lousy timing,” he growls before walking away.  She follows him.  “Listen to me, your Chancellor division is tanking.  Isn’t it time to spin it off before you drive Katherine’s legacy into the ground?”  Wait, are you going to buy it?  With your paltry insurance fraud fund and a music box?  Oh, wait, you don’t even have that anymore.  “It’ll be a cold day in hell, before I hand anything over to you.   Just remember that.  Have a good day.”

 

Paul asks Dylan how he found out Victor was behind the holding company.  Kevin, of course.  “Kevin?  I told him to keep it legal.”  Oh, well.  It turns out Gerolamo Emiliani is the patron saint of orphans.  Omg, Dylan, THIS IS ALL GOING TO BE FOR THE ORPHANS.  I hope you feel terrible, now.  Looks like they could have found that out with their Basic Internet Search.  As could have I, lol.  Dylan also admits this answer was available to anyone who knew Victor’s history.  Guess they’re all stupid.  “Not that knowing any of this information makes any difference,” he says.  Exactly.  Paul thinks it explains why the mayor and landmark commission refused to help.  Or maybe they think coffee shops aren’t super important anyway.  Dylan figures Joe is happy to be involved with a seller like Victor so he can stick around town, AND AVERY.

 

Avery sneers at Joe that at least he and Victor have their stories straight about it just being business.  Uh, cuz it is.  “And it conveniently allows you to stick it to my fiancé.  You’re actually a lot alike, you both think you can have what you want for the right price.  Well, you’re wrong, Joe, you will NEVER get me back!”  Joe listened to her, now she needs to listen to him.  This project is awesome for GC, and that’s why they’re working on it so diligently.  NO.  It’s just a good deal for THEM.  And the people on the biking paths and at the park with the boats.  And all that other stuff.  But Dylan and Fluffy Friends will have to close up shop!  “Well, like you said, he’s not walking away empty handed.  He still has you,” Joe sneers back, and walks away.

 

Cane wonders to Lily and Jill why it’s so important for Victor to sell that land when he knows how unpopular it’s going to be.  Since when has Victor ever cared what anyone thought, says Lily.  “He cares what Nikki thinks, or at least he should,” says Cane.  Hahahahaha.  “Maybe that’s why he kept it under wraps,” says Sensible Investor Colin.  Lily says half the town’s up in arms out there, so she better go make sure the police are keeping the icky hipsters off her property. 

 

Colin tells Jill he noticed her stickin’ it to the ole Vic.  Yeah, he was shaking in his shoes.  Is Colin to assume the palace coup is a go?  Jill smiles and says billionaire Victor Newman is obviously in dire financial straits if he’s willing to risk his marriage to get his hands on a little cash.  Again, I must say, hahahahaha.  “This might be the perfect opportunity for us to make a play for Chancellor!” grins Jill.  Colin says he won’t give it up without a fight.  “Bring it on,” chuckles broke ass Jill.

 

“What are your thoughts on treatment options,” Michael asks the doc with a satisfied smile, like they’re planning a cruise.  Doc J, is like, well, based on your tests, I recommend radiation and hormone therapy, like everyone else.  Michael’s face falls.  He came there thinking this guy believed in less aggressive treatment.  He read his articles.  Yep, but that’s for people with early, slow cancer, not Michael.  So he needs conventional treatment, the sooner, the better.  Lauren’s so relieved to hear him say that.  “I’m NOT,” gripes Michael.  His goal is to get through this treatment as the same MAN he is now, and that’s not possible because side effects.  The doc says he’s welcome to get yet another opinion, but any REPUTABLE doctor will say the same thing.  “We’ll see,” says Michael, and he runs out of the room!  So he’s going to die of stubbornness, not cancer.

 

Nick and Mariah show up at the cottage.  Nick said he ran into Mariah at the cemetery and offered her a ride home, because he’s compassionate like that.  Faith begs him to stay and help make birthday cookies!  Mariah’s like, aww, you didn’t have to go to the trouble!  “They’re not hard.  I make them every year,” says Faith.  For Cassie.  Mariah’s like, umm, this is horrifically awkward.  She didn’t mean to interrupt the party, so she’ll, um, go away now.  Sharon’s like, Mariah, the cookies are for you, too!  “It’s your birthday, too,” smiles Nick warmly, even though he made you work and only saw you by accident.   Noah says they should all celebrate.  Faith makes puppy eyes so Nick just has to stay.

 

Austin comes out of the back to find the bar empty except for Summer.  She says she paid everyone’s tabs and told them to leave early because they were closing for a private party.  Austin’s like omg, Nick didn’t even tell me about a private event!  Nope, this is all Summer.  She just took it upon herself to close her Dad’s business for the night, so they could have a pretend ski trip!  Summer LOVES fantasy, so she wants to pretend they’re at the lodge in front of the fire…right here.  She puts her phone up next to the booth, with a fireplace video on it.  Wow.  You know what probably has a real fireplace?  The Barbie townhouse.  He thinks it’s super cute that she brought the world’s worst fake ski trip to him.  She thought they needed some quality alone time…during work hours…in a dirty bar.  When they LIVE alone…in a luxury penthouse.  But Mariah’s a little bitch for blowing off her shift because no one remembered her birthday.  Omg, Austin loves Malibu baby SO MUCH.

 

The Shick family stirs bowls at the kitchen table and jokes all about Cassie.  Mariah just sits there with a wan look on her face.  OMG, Mariah, you totally should have been there when Cassie decided to redecorate a billionaire’s super expensive birthday cake with a picture of his favorite horse, and ruined it.  It was so funny when the servants rolled it out.  HAHA!  Too bad you were being psychologically abused and poor back then, because it was HI-LARIOUS. 

 

Mariah is glad when there’s a knock on the door, so she can get away from this.  It’s Kevin.  He came by to wish her Happy Birthday, since she left without saying anything, a-hem.  She invites him in.  He drops the news that VICTOR owns the warehouse district.  No one’s that surprised because of course.  Sharon says he probably loves destroying something special to her.  Nick asks if his mom knows.  Kevin says if not, she will soon, because Avery & Dylan were headed to the club for A Confrontation.

Paul’s hanging with Dylan and Avery, when Cane and Lily tell him the protesters are making it hard for their guests to come and go.  They need a higher up out there to keep the protesters in line.  He’s on it.  So Dylan watches PAUL go control his own protest. He and Avery smile at each other.  Lily doesn’t throw them out on their ass for some reason.

 

Joe walks up, and Dylan says at least the PROTESTERS are up front about their agenda, unlike some people.  Avery says they should go home.  They did what they came to do, and now everybody knows the truth about Victor.  Dylan says well too bad they don’t know about the middle man here who set up a fake meeting in his hotel room.  “You saw that she was happy, and you tried to wreck that,” accuses Super Dylan.  Joe says, ”You were the one who slept with my wife, so that makes YOU the homewrecker, not me.”  Dylan says it’s not HIS fault Joe couldn’t keep his wife satisfied.  Joe launches himself at Dylan, and Dylan's ready to FIGHT, but Daddy Cop rushes over to break it up.  “Both of you need to take a walk, preferably in the opposite direction.”  He says let’s go, to JOE, and walks off with him. 

 

Victor gets home, and he and Nikki stare at each other.  “This company is your excuse for everything that you do, Victor.”  Duh, why else would you have a company?   “How many times have you put what’s best for the company over what’s best for our family?”  Victor says he built Newman Enterprises for all of them.  Nikki says it’s ALWAYS about what HE has built.  What about what they’ve built together?  Doesn’t that mean anything?  “What I have built I have done for all of us, formyfamily, K?”  Nikki’s like ohh, okay.  “So gaslighting Sharon, that was for us?  Tricking Summer into getting total control over Phyllis’ care, that was for us?” 

 

Victor’s like, look at the results!  “I saved our son from a disastrous marriage.  Summer has her mother back, how’s that?”  But how is destroying an ENTIRE neighborhood going to be good for anybody?  It certainly isn’t going to be good for Dylan!  Victor’s like GMAB.  “This is about MORE than Dylan’s coffee shop, for heaven’s sake.  Rebuilding the inner city is going to create a lot of jobs!  A lot of new businesses.”  Nikki rolls her eyes.  Only one job matters here, folks.  “Besides, it’s good for Newman-Chancellor.  And my children, AND my grandchildren.”  “And to hell with My Son, right?”  Victor’s too annoyed to even look at her.

 

Michael throws a fit at Crimson Lights about calling the medical school for another opinion. Lauren says if he’s looking for a doctor to tell him he’s not sick, that is NOT gonna happen.   Blah denial blah. 

 

Kevin and Mariah go outside.  He says Shick seem to be getting along.  She says that’ll last a few hours, and then they’ll be back to battling.  Kevin asks what the truce is for.  Well, Mariah mentioned to Nick she hadn’t celebrated her birthday before, so now he’s trying his hardest to make it up to her.  Wow, here’s a cookie.  That’s trying really hard for a billionaire.  But Mariah feels like an outsider, looking in at somebody else’s life.  Cassie, the perfect child.  Kevin says nobody’s perfect. 

 

But Mariah has survivor guilt for an unknown twin sister.  :-(  She says it’s ironic that Cassie made one bad judgment call that cost her her life.  Mariah’s made a MILLION mistakes, and she’s still there.  “It doesn’t seem right.”  Kevin’s glad she’s here.  And he doesn’t know anyone else who appreciate this…this wrapped gift.  She opens it, and OH MY GOSH!  It’s this superhero kind of anime drawing thing.  Of her?  Or just a Kingdom Beyond character?   I’m not sure.  But she is super excited and IT IS PERFECT!

 

Austin and Summer are still pretending they’re in a ski lodge instead of a crummy bar.  She says after a long day on the slopes, she’s pretty sore, but there’s no hot tub here.  You know where there’s probably a hot tub?  The Barbie townhouse.  She starts giving Austin a massage, and then they strip down and do it in the booth once reserved for Avery Bailey Clark.  At least Summer finally took off that ugly dress.

 

Lily chides Joe for not making any friends in this town.  He says it’s just business.  “Is that why you and Dylan almost turned this place into a boxing ring?”  She says Paul isn’t happy with either of them.  He’s going to go pack up his presentation.  “That’s a good idea,” she smirks.  Cane asks if she’s okay.  Yeah, but she wonders what other surprises Joe Clark has.  Cane says Joe showed him a document from Gerolamo, and he should have looked it up then.  Duh.  Again with the patron saint of orphans.   Colin and Jill walk up.  “Well, Victor better be doing some praying if he wants to hang on to Chancellor.  Katherine must be spinning in her grave at the way he’s mishandled her life’s work,” she says to Colin, who personally wrecked everything with Bonaventure.  Still, “One of US should be running the company,” says Cane.  “Or both of you,” says Colin.

 

Paul is scolding Dylan and Avery at Crimson Lights.  “Assault and battery is not the answer!”  Normally, Avery would agree with you, but in THIS case, with innocent Super Dylan?  Dylan says as mad as he is at Joe right now, he’s more worried about Nikki!  It’s one thing for Victor to lie to THEM, but --  Paul has had it.  “You know what, Dylan, Nikki knew exactly who he was when she married him the first time.”  Rich.  “I don’t know how she’s dealt with him all these years!” says Dylan.

 

Paul snorts in disgust and thinks back to Nikki thanking him for not telling Victor about her drinking.  And Paul not being sure it’s the right thing.  Nikki stress blah.  He remembers asking what happens when life throws something at her she can’t handle.  Paul tells Dylan that Nikki’s coping skills have not always been the best.

 

Victor tells Nikki she’s blowing this out of proportion.  She thinks she’s having a NORMAL reaction to finding out her husband betrayed her!  “Since when are you and I discussing Newman business?”  She says to just admit he doesn’t give a damn about Her Son.  And after she welcomed ABBY into the family.  “What the HELL are you talking about?  I’m not talking about destroying Dylan’s business! He can relocate anywhere in this town!  In fact, I’ll give him the start up money!”  BOOM!  Problem solved.  But Nikki says he CANNOT throw money at it to make it better.  Really?  Because it sounds like it would make it better.  Victor can’t even.  He grabs his coat.  “I will discuss this with you when you have calmed down.  And then perhaps you’ll realize I’m simply trying to help!”  He stomps out…leaving a vodka glass behind.  With vodka in it.  Nikki goes slackjawed.

 

The cookies are almost done.  Sharon tells Mariah she was hoping to wish her a happy birthday this morning, but she didn’t want to wake her up.   And then she went to the cemetery.  But here’s a present.  Happy Birthday.  Mariah opens the box to find a necklace.  “It’s beautiful,” she says softly.  Sharon says they’re garnets, which are hers and Cassie’s birthstone.  “Is this also something that was meant for Cassie, but since she’s not here, I get it by default.”  Sharon’s surprised.  “No, not at all.”  Mariah says she’s not interested in Cassie’s leftovers.  She grabs her coat and runs out.  The others come bursting out of the kitchen with the birthday cookies and a candle.  “Where did Mariah go?” asks Nick.  Sharon grimaces.

 

Sharon explains what happened.  Noah says Mariah just gets defensive, it’s how she is.  Sharon’s upset.  She doesn’t want Mariah to feel like she’s using her to replace Cassie.  Kevin says to give her some time.  He’ll track her down and make sure she’s okay.  Nick has to go, too.  Sharon thanks him for making this a special day for the kids.  She goes upstairs to get ready for her interview.  Noah tells Faith that Mom and Dad making cookies doesn’t mean they’re getting back together, okay?  Courtney calls, so Faith tells her doll that today was a start.  “But I need to do something SO BIG, Mommy and Daddy will never be able to stay apart again.” It's less creepy this time. But still sounds like trouble.

 

Sadly, Summer’s putting that dress back on.  She needs to freshen up in the ladies room.  Austin hears the door open and calls out that they’re closed for a private event.  Hmm, maybe LOCK THE DOOR next time you have private event fake ski trip sex.  It’s Mariah.  “Lots of parties going on tonight, but none for me,” she says.  Austin looks very surprised.  “After you left, we realized it was  your birthday,” he says, "so Happ—“  She grabs him and KISSES HIM!  Oh, Mariah.

 

Lauren and Michael blah options blah.  She’s upset because his head is made of concrete.  But he’s not alone in this.  He pulls out his phone.  He’s calling Dr J.  He’s making his first radiation appointment, you guys.  At night. 

 

Avery and Dylan leave, and Paul makes a call.  He leaves Nikki a message.  He just wants to make sure she’s okay, and if she wants to talk…or if she feels like having a drink, he just hopes she’ll call him first.

 

Nikki stares at the vodka glass.  “You don’t need alcohol to solve your problems,” she tells herself.  “It’s not gonna help.  It never helps.”  She keeps staring.  “Just walk away,” she keeps whispering, without walking away.  “Dammit!” she cries, and takes a drink.

 

Colin tells the Ashby clan there’s strength in numbers.  “If we’re gonna get rid of Victor, we need to muster all the strength we can.”  And, like, money.  Lily says they have her blessing.  Well, if they have that… Cane puts his hand out to Jill.  “Partners?” he says.  She grabs his hand.  “Partners!”  Colin rubs his hands together and says, “Excellent!”  Jill says maybe this is what Katherine wanted all along.  For them to realize they needed each other as much as they need Chancellor.  Because Jill can rationalize pretty much anything as being “what Katherine wanted” other than what she actually gave her.

 

Victor’s skulking back into the club.  Joe asks if the deal’s still on.  Of course it is.  Good, because Joe was worried he might get cold feet.  Victor doesn’t GET cold feet, Mr. Clark.  You remember that.

Edited January 12, 2015 by peach

[movinon]

Yeah, I forgot to add to my list that all the while she's 'mixing' these drinks she's bitching.  Hey, customers hear that stuff-keep it in the back room. 

I like Mariah when she's with Kevin, too, but the rest of the story of being Cassie's Clone (too close to Cathy's Clown, for the old folks out there) is dumb.  Pick a lane-compromise with your biologicals and try to be family or leave.  Being pissed for the past doesn't really make anything better.

I have to agree that the writing is getting a little repetitive where Mariah is concerned.  I love the actress and she is excellent - I would just like to see her nicer side more often, especially with Sharon.  You see it with Kevin, Austin, and Faith, but that's about it.  I believe that they're working toward a close bond with her mother, but dragging it out for the drama.  Good writers could do wonders with this story line.  The constant bickering with stupid Summer isn't helping either, not that it's all her fault - just the same old, same old, every day.  I'm trying to think positive because the character has lots of layers and there could be lots of good stories there.

[crosby777]

 

I like Mariah when she's with Kevin

I did like them until Mariah ruined it by kissing summer's creepy hubby. Her nasty tude has gotten tiring. All her whining and bitching makes her as bad as whiny Summer.

[crosby777]

I don't find anything appealing about Mariah. She always has this sour look on her face always whining about her past.. suck it up buttercup..  I liked her when she was feisty and had some fire.. now she is getting all whiny and wimpy and it sucks. And now she is macking on a married man. Nothing special about that snowflake hating witch.

[MollyB]

Several have commented on whether the show is getting better or this board.  Little of one, lots of the other.  I lurked on TwoP for years and then came here and did not have the balls to contribute.  I even felt guilty because I enjoy the comments so much and get my necessary daily laugh (really! my doctor said I needed to laugh more!)   But about the time Peach started her recaps and people started to think about their comments, not just react, the board became even more interesting.  And I notice that there are a lot more people contributing because I'm running out of coffee when I read it.  I'm going to have to visit twice a day just so I get some exercise.  (also doc's orders).  I think the writers or  show whoever read these forums and it does influence some of the writing and casting.  Still some pretty unbelievable plots/twists but casting scored a couple times.  Anyhow-yes, this is getting better and that's what happens when you put in your 10,000 hours.  I thank all of you for your insights, humor and class (because this is the nicest group to have a disagreement with) and my doctor says, keep it up.  Happy New Year!

[peacheslatour]

Happy New Year to you too, Molly B!  I agree that this is the nicest, most literate Y&R board out there.

[Snaporaz]

Another continuity issue...

It occurred to me that Mariah once "haunted" Sharon at Cassie's grave. Did she not notice the birth date on the tombstone? Or did she think it was just a coinkydink that she and Cassie had the same birthday?

Amazing as always, peach! Thank you for all the laughs!

Edited January 12, 2015 by Snaporaz

[NinjaPenguins]

Thanks for another great recap, peach! I have a seasonal office job and miss some episodes, so I am grateful for your posts. You add a special flavor to the show, especially when I watch the DVR eps after reading a recap!

[photo fox]

Another continuity issue...

It occurred to me that Mariah once "haunted" Sharon at Cassie's grave. Did she not notice the birth date on the tombstone? Or did she think it was just a coinkydink that she and Cassie had the same birthday?

Maybe it was obscured by a giant floral tribute. When she was there the other day, I don't think you could even see Cassie's last name.

[movinon]

 

Nikki’s like ohh, okay.  “So gaslighting Sharon, that was for us?  Tricking Summer into getting total control over Phyllis’ care, that was for us?”

Very good questions for the old fart - but he was right, of course because he's always right.  Never mind that Sharon could have completely lost her mind or that Phyllis could have died from the experimental treatment - it was all for the F-A-M-I-L-E-E-E !!  I can't wait for this old geezer to croak so everyone can have some peace.  Great re-cap, Peach - Sorry for the venting.  

 

Edited to admit I'm having a bad night - I mean Victor, of course, not the real EB

Edited January 13, 2015 by movinon

[crosby777]

The ratings went down again. It does not surprise me at all. I am sure not seeing a better show., I am seeing a boring lame show that is so poorly written.

[movinon]

The ratings went down again. It does not surprise me at all. I am sure not seeing a better show., I am seeing a boring lame show that is so poorly written.

I know - it was getting interesting for a while and I was so looking forward to Joe kicking Dylan's ass.  Now that the almighty Victor is involved, I'm FFing through the whole thing because I cannot stand the character.  I wish they would send Dylan, along and Victor and Nikki on a long cruise together and see who survives. 

[Runningwild]

I hate Dylan. Seriously, you just walk into someone's house? Victor was going to help him open a new coffee shop. I hope he doesn't now.

[klopek]

I know - it was getting interesting for a while and I was so looking forward to Joe kicking Dylan's ass.  Now that the almighty Victor is involved, I'm FFing through the whole thing because I cannot stand the character.  I wish they would send Dylan, along and Victor and Nikki on a long cruise together and see who survives. 

 

On the brightside, the stress of it all has driven Nikki to drink again. Drinkki Nikki is marginally more watchable than when she is sober.

[peach]

Fri, Jan 9    Nick Needs To Die

 

Kevin walks into The Underground and catches Mariah in her surprise kiss assault on Austin.  Austin pulls back with hands out, like, he did NOT touch the ball.  No penalty!  Kevin asks if this is a birthday tradition he doesn’t know about.  Austin hems and haws about how it’s not what it looks like.  “It was one kiss, and it was my idea,” says Mariah matter-of-factly.  Kevin wrinkles up his face.  “Why??”  She just wanted to, and she liked it. It tasted like cherry Chapstick. Summer walks back in.  “Youuu…liked what?”

 

Sharon’s at the cottage getting ready for her interview.  She’s wearing the same blue sheath dress as Lauren, and she has a side part in her hair!  YES!  Go with the side part, I love that.  Anyway, her calls to Mariah keep going to voicemail.  “I wish she would give me a chance to explain,” she tells Noah.  He thinks she will.  Sharon just wanted this to be such a special birthday for her, and now Mariah thinks she’s giving her Cassie’s seconds?  Noah says she can’t second guess what came from her heart. Anyway, what’s this job interview for?  She admits it’s just for a dress-fitting model.  I don’t even know what that means, you guys, but they’re embarrassed because it’s a big step down.  But she has GOT to be employed when she goes to court.  Her whole future is riding on it.

 

Billy finds Chels searching everywhere for Connor’s toy car. Where could it be??  It’s not like it rolled off on its own.

 

Meanwhile, back at the castle, toy car thief, Adam, plays with his ill-gotten treasure.  Sage walks in.  “Are you going to stare at that thing all night long?” she asks.  “Only if it really bothers YOU,” he says.  Well, they have to go through the estate paperwork.  They bicker about Adam taking the car and even going to Chelsea’s.  He says toys go missing all the time, and he had a perfectly good excuse for showing up over there.  Sage is like, right.  You just happened to be looking for an apartment to rent in that building, and you just happened to see Chelsea?  Sage can’t believe she didn’t see through that.  “Well, maybe she doesn’t WANT to see through it.  Maybe she’s looking for a reason to be with me!” whines Adam. Totally, says Sage, that’s why she has another man in her bed.  Adam’s like, ouch.  Only Sage really knows how to prick Adam with a pin like that.

 

“Well, that’s not gonna last,” he says, “she doesn’t love him the same—“  “I know, I know,” says Sage dismissively, “she loves you.  But, oops, you’re dead.”  Yeah, but Adam says his place looks IDENTICAL to how it did when he was alive, so what does that tell her!  It tells her he’s obsessing, and she needs him to be PRESENT NOW.  Did he forget the minister was coming over tonight to plan the funeral.  “He’s coming over tonight?!” cries Adam.  “Ughhh!  That’s not gonna give me enough time to PLAY WITH MY CAR, Sage!”  She narrows her eyes, he rolls his.  “You know what, this minister married Gabriel’s parents, he baptized Gabriel, he KNOWS Gabriel.  So you need to stop thinking about Adam Newman, and start acting like Gabriel Bingham or this whole plan of ours is going to fall apart!”

 

Nick reads Constance’s obituary.  He calls a florist to get some flowers delivered ASAP.  On second thought, you know what, he’s got a better idea.  Not.

 

Summer wants to know what’s going on, you guys.  Everyone’s mouths hang open, but Kevin saves the day.  “Mariah walked out of a birthday party Sharon threw for her, and then she had the nerve to say she enjoyed doing it.”  Mariah says it wasn’t a party for HER, it was for Cassie, like she’s some kind of clone.  The awkwardness continues, and Austin finally says he’s sorry to hear that, but, uh, Happy Birthday.  Summer’s like, yeah..woohoo.  Sorry she couldn’t make it to her party, sounds like a total blast, she says sarcastically. “Well, it’s understandable Summer, since you have SO much to occupy your time.  It must be hard deciding what nail salon to go to today.”  Kevin thinks it’s time for them to GO. 

 

NOT that it’s any of Mariah’s business, but Summer actually has a LOT on her tiny mind that she needs to talk about with her husband.  Like how tired she gets after skiing. And why is Mariah there, anyways?!  She’s not working!  (I can’t stand it when people put an S on “anyway.”)  “If you want to go cry about how lousy your birthday was, you can go do it somewhere else.”  Mariah smirks and glances at Austin, but he tells her she really should go.  Oh, so that’s how it is.  “Wait, am I being kicked out of MY place of employment?”  Summer says she’s NOT working, she has NO reason to be in their sex den.  “And you DO?” asks Mariah.  “Can I see your ID, Snowflake??” 

 

Austin’s like, look, you just need to go, okay.  Celebrate your birthday somewhere else.  She can’t believe it. She can usually count on AUSTIN to be reasonable, but if he’s turning on her--  Kevin says, “Oh, I think he’s being pretty reasonable right now.”  FINE!!  SHE IS OUTTA THERE!  She storms off, and Kevin says he’ll go make sure she doesn’t do something else she’ll regret.  “I wonder what he meant by that?” says Summer.  Austin looks like he has to tell his parents he wrecked the Porsche.

 

Billy and Chels can’t find the damn toy car.  Then her assistant calls in sick.  He was supposed to do those interviews tonight.  Darn, now Chelsea has to go interview Sharon, of course.  But it’s no big deal.  “Right, so, sick assistant, missing toy, what else could go wrong?”  says Downer Billy.  Who knows, maybe someone will get a paper cut!  Oh, the humanity. 

 

Sharon tells Noah she knows she can do this.  “Be yourself, and they’re gonna love you,” he says. The last person Sharon should be tonight is herself, but them’s the breaks.  Blah support blah.  She’s too good of a person to be on the outs for long.  Noah loves you, Mom, and no matter what happens, Faith will always love you, too.

 

Compassionate Nick is on the castle doorstep with another huge bouquet of flowers for a dead person.  He’s surprised when Sage of all people answers the door.  He just wanted to express his condolences to his good buddy, Gabe.  Sage is like, oh…uhh, they weren’t expecting visitors at this hour.  “Yeah, well, I was kind of at loose ends.” So, this is about Nick having nothing to do, not your grief.  “I figured Gabe wouldn’t mind if I came by this late.  I mean, he’s such a night owl.”  Or at least he was when he was FIFTEEN.  And his grandma wasn’t dead.  Sage tries to say Gabe’s not around, but Adam’s already coming around the corner.  “Hey, Sage, is that the minister—“  Ugh.  “Nope.  It’s just me,” smiles Nick.  The fucking thorn in your side.

 

Sage, you didn’t tell Gabe they had company!  She, um, didn’t think he was home.  She was up in the attic looking for photos of Constance to display at the funeral.  Nick’s super sorry about Grandmother.  Blah grief blah.  “Well, listen, I appreciate you coming all this way to pay your respects…how did you know we were here, btw?”  Well, Nick’s actually been there before.  He saw Grandmother, but didn’t realize who she was.  It took an obituary for him to put it all together, even though they were once the bestest friends in the whole boarding school who didn’t know they were neighbors. 

 

Sage finally takes the flowers.  Okay, well, Gabe really appreciates the gesture.  So..bye.  Oh, but Nick also wants to write a check for her charity.  Sounded like playboy Gabriel was her only charity, but Gabe says that’s, uh, really sweet.  Entitled Nick can’t read a room.  It’s freezing outside, could he come in??  I mean, hello, you grieving people are really being rude here.  And he needs a pen to write that check.  Adam’s wishing the bear trap closed on Nick’s throat, but he pulls it together and invites Mr. Pushy inside, like, wow.  Nick is worse than he remembered.

 

Summer rubs all over Austin.  “Sooo, what do you say we go someplace we won’t be interrupted…like our bed?”  What a concept.  They start kissing, but Austin stops.  There’s something he needs to tell her first.  Wow.  I guess he’s decided keeping secrets is a bad idea.  He really is from out of town.  Lazy Summer starts whining pleeeease don’t tell her he has to work late doing inventorrry.  “I can talk to my Dad, tell him we need some downtime” besides that downtime we have all damn day.   Hey, Dad?  Austin can’t work late because I want to have sex, after closing your business so I could already have sex.  Thanks.  Sounds fair.  Actually, what am I saying, that is Nick Logic 101. 

 

Austin says that’s not it.  What Kevin said about Mariah is only half the story.  “What did she do, follow in her mother’s footsteps and burn down someone’s house?”  WORSE.  “She..uh..kissed me.”  Summer is pissed!  “That skanky, little…” She starts to run out of the bar, but Austin grabs her!  Austin says she can’t leave until she hears the whole story!  I hope there’s a study guide.

 

Kevin chases Mariah into Crimson Lights.  She didn’t want him to follow her.  “Well, I care too much about his town to let YOU loose on it,” says Kevin.  She didn’t know he was so civic minded.  Maybe the mayor should give him a medal.  “Someone should give me a medal for putting up with you!”  If she’s such a hassle, then GO AWAY.  She doesn’t want him there anyway.  Too bad, because he’s  not leaving her alone after what she just pulled.

 

Billy tells Jack on the phone to come over to talk.  Jeff shows up.  There’s a matter he needs to discuss, so he’ll just make himself at home and wait for Chelsea.  Billy’s like, great.  Jeff’s there to collect his second payment for dropping the lawsuit against Stitch.  Billy bitches and complains about Jeff taking bribe money over a situation that was 100% Billy’s fault.  Jeff’s sure the court would have awarded him big bucks, but how could he turn down his baby’s generous offer?  “It was TOO generous,” complains Billy, “and I’m not going to let you take advantage of her anymore.”  Jeff’s like, HEY, a deal’s a deal. 

 

Fine, then BILLY will pay the other half, just leave Chelsea out of it.  Wow...I’m shocked.  That was actually appropriate, Billy, since you created this problem.  Jeff’s like, “Works for me! Nice doing business with ya.”  Billy still chides that when Chelsea came to him, he should have just done what she asked.  Jeff laughs.  She practically threw that money at him, you know why?  She wanted Dr. Rayban, or whatever his name is, free to date Victoria, in order to keep her away from Billy.  Billy asks if she SAID that.  Well, no, but she sounded like a woman not exactly secure in her relationship.  Wonder why that is?

 

Sharon shows up for the job interview and is shocked to see Chelsea sitting there.  CRAP!  Chelsea asks why she’s there.  “I’m..here..for the job interview.  For the dress fitting model?”  Chelsea is surprised and confused.  Is she aware that whoever gets this job will be working closely with…her?  Yes, but she’s qualified.   Chelsea’s like, you’re overqualified, actually, so what’s going on?  Sharon thought she’d be meeting with Chelsea’s assistant first, who could smooth things over with her.  Chelsea doesn’t understand.  “You must really need a job,” she says, but with kindness.  Sharon anxiously asks if they could just go ahead with the interview?  “I’m sorry, Sharon...but I don’t think that’s a good idea.”  She’s nice about it, though.

 

Billy laughs at Jeff thinking he can read Chelsea like that.  Jeff says he happens to have excellent observational skills.  “Yeah, if someone drops loose change out of their pocket.  You’re all over that.  But person to person?”  Jeff knows what he knows.  Well, Billy will have him know Chelsea is perfectly satisfied in this relationship.  Relax, Billy, he’s not talking about your Johnson.  “What about you?  Are you satisfied?”  Completely!  And what if Victoria dumped Dr. Stitch?  Then Billy would stay right where he is.  Jeff says because it’s easy.  He doesn’t have all those ties and responsibilities.  “Why buy the cow, when you can get the milk for free?”  Billy’s like, congratulations, you’ve reached an all-time low.  He would NEVER USE Chelsea like that.  Hahahaha.  “Then what’re your plans?  You gonna make an honest woman out of my daughter, or not?” 

 

Sharon asks if Chelsea will at least hear her out.  Chelsea doesn’t see the point, she just can’t see them working comfortably together.  Sharon can!  Lots of people have overcome their differences.  “Sharon, we have had a lot more than just differences.”  Sharon pleads that she was a different person then.  She can’t believe some of the things she did, like making a play for Adam and keeping him away from her.  “I hope you know none of that would have happened if I’d been thinking straight.” 

 

There’s so much she wishes she could change.  Nick and Summer are barely speaking to her, and she lost her job at Jabot.  Now no one will take her on.  Chelsea comforts her and says just for now.  It will all die down, and she’ll be able to find work in time!  Maybe she could become a fashion design star in a couple of months.  Sharon doesn’t HAVE time.  Nick is petitioning for full custody, and if she can’t show a stable job to the court, he’ll win!  But this job is only a few hours a week, says Chelsea.  That’s perfect, because she’ll have a steady paycheck and still have time for Faith.  Unlike a particular bar owner. 

 

“Please just give me a chance,” begs emotional Sharon.  “Just show them that people ARE willing to forgive me, even if Nick won’t.”  Chelsea looks sad.  “I already lost him, I can’t lose my little girl, too,” Sharon says, breaking down in tears.  Chelsea tears up a little herself, and hands Sharon a tissue.  Sharon apologizes, but Chelsea understands.  She’s been there when a Newman jackass threatened to take her child away. 

 

“I’m very lucky that Adam eventually realized we belonged together.”  Ugh, don’t give Sharon toxic hope like that.  Sharon’s glad Chelsea had that time with him.  She could tell Adam was really happy then.  “We all were,” says Chelsea, and now she starts weeping some, too.  They kind of laugh, and Sharon hands HER a tissue.  Sharon asks if she’s okay now.  “Surprisingly, I am.  Thanks to Billy..I’m okay.”  She laughs and looks up, saying you didn’t hear that, Adam!  She doesn’t think he’d be happy about who she ended up with.  Sharon knows Adam wasn’t a fan of Billy’s, especially in that burning ditch, but she thinks he’d want her and Connor to move on and have a happy life.  “That’s what I want for me and Faith.  Won’t you please help me do that?” she asks softly.

 

Nick writes his check.  Wow, that’s very generous and annoying of him.  Nick says it’s the least he could do, considering how LONG they’ve known each other, plus he feels like he owes Sage.  She says he’s really thanked her enough.  Don’t be silly, he’s going to keep on thanking you til you can’t freaking take it anymore.  Gabe says she’s our hero, heartily side hugging her.  Yeah, but Nick’s been thinking, and he’s put all the drunk, frozen pieces together.  Gabe was the one in the woods with Sage that day, wasn’t he?  Her smile is hilarious.  Gabe’s like, uh, ya got me.  “Then why didn’t you just SAY that?” asks annoying Nick.  “I mean, I know the limelight’s not really your thing, but—“ Saved by the doorbell!  Gabe thinks that might be the minister, and he escapes to answer the door.

 

“He couldn’t get out of here fast enough,” observes Nick.  “I guess that’s his thing?  Taking off?”  Who does Gabe think he is, answering his door like that?  Sage is like, ohh, you mean because he left you in that trap?  Yeah, he wanted you to die.  But he was hurrying back because of Constance.  He got a phone call that it might be the end for her.  BECAUSE OTHER THINGS ARE HAPPENING IN THE WORLD THAT DON’T CONCERN YOU. 

 

“Well, why wouldn’t he just say that?” asks Nick.  Sage says he, um, felt like he was abandoning Nick.  But he left Sage there!  Yeah, but, uh, he’s a tough man.  He takes after Constance.  That’s another thing Nick is confused about.  He already told her he came by the house looking for her, and got turned away by an old lady.  “How come you never told me she was your guardian and Gabriel’s grandmother?  Why would you keep that from me?” he asks, like she’s been his girlfriend for six months. <Peach leans back and stares at the ceiling for a second before continuing>  BECAUSE IT’S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.

 

Sage doesn’t know what to say.  She sits down on the couch.  “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you,” says Nick, sitting with her.  It’s just that I’m a controlling freak when I meet a new woman.  “I’m sure losing Mrs. Bingham right now has been hard for you.”  But grief scheduling aside, he’s just trying to figure out why she’s not being straight with him.  He thought they were building a nice friendship here.  So, now you see how Nick owing you, is really about you owing him.  “We are,” says Sage, “but it’s new, and we don’t really know each other all that well” so it’s possible she might have some personal, private business that is none of your concern.  “And the Binghams are very private people,” she explains unnecessarily. 

 

Nick gets it, she didn’t feel like it was her place to talk about her relationship with them.  Or the fact that she LIVES there.  Sage is like, what are you talking about?  Well, Stalker Nick noticed she said “WE” weren’t expecting company, and she seems to have the run of the place, and he noticed the MAIL addressed to her and Gabe…jointly.  Yeah, this conversation is over, weirdo!!  Instead, she laughs and says, “Boy, you’re a regular Sherlock Holmes, aren’t you?”  Hey, if he were Sherlock, he would have solved this mystery by now!  “What mystery?” she laughs.  The mystery of why they haven’t buried you in the cellar yet.  But he says the mystery of why she calls Gabe her friend, when they obviously live there together.  CON-FESS, HARLOT!!!  Gabe walks in and says HE can answer that. 

 

Chelsea admits that there have  been several times the past few years when she would have  been THRILLED to see Sharon down on her luck like this.  Sharon hopes now is not one of those times.  Chelsea smiles wistfully. “It’s not.  Adam cared for you very deeply.  He would have wanted me to give you a job.”   So, she’s hired.  Yay, Chelsea!  Sharon is overjoyed.  THANK YOU SO MUCH!  Chelsea says just be professional, and take care of herself and her daughter.  “Always!  I promise!” smiles Sharon.

 

Billy asks why it’s so important to Jeff for he and Chelsea to make it legal.  “Dammit, Jeffrey, do you ever think about anything other than money?!”  Who said anything about money?! Jeff protests.  “Isn’t it ENOUGH that Chelsea’s already has a Newman inheritance, does she need an Abbott one, too?”  Look, Billy doesn’t get to ask a question until he answers Jeff’s first.  DOES he intend to marry his daughter some time or what?  “THAT is for me and Chelsea to discuss.”  So there is a possibility?  “I’ll be damned if I’m gonna talk to you about it!”  All right, he won’t push it…”But you better not break my kid’s heart.”

 

Mariah does NOT need a lecture, and she does NOT need Kevin covering for her with Summer!  “Like you really care about my saving face.  You care about my SUCKING face!”  Kevin’s like, what?  “You’re mad that I kissed Austin, so why don’t you just admit it, so you can go, and we can stop with this stupid friend thing we’ve been playing at.”  Kevin says the only one playing here is HER.  “So why don’t you admit the REAL reason you kissed Austin.”  She glares. 

 

Summer’s like, what MORE could there be??  “Mariah kissed you.  End of story!”  Unless he wants to TELL her WHY he didn’t come clean EARLIER.  Austin kept a secret for one and a half minutes!!!  He was GOING to, but then Kevin jumped in.  “You KNEW he was covering for her, why didn’t you just call him on it?!”  Because he knew how upset KEVIN was, and he didn’t want to add insult to injury.  It’s called feelings for others.  “WHAT ABOUT INJURY TO ME?!” squeals Summer.  He figured she would just go off on Mariah.  OH, so he was PROTECTING Mariah!!  No, he just doesn’t want to listen to your bullshit.  He was looking out for EVERYBODY.  And what good would another fight be?  Mariah was Just Upset And Acting Out.  “OMG!  You make this kiss seem like no big deal!”  You can only kidnap and shoot people when you’re Just Upset And Acting Out.  NOT KISS THEIR HUSBANDS! 

 

Summer finally makes a valid point and asks how would AUSTIN feel if some guy kissed her, and she said, oh, it’s okay, he’s just having a bad day?  Austin realizes he would probably shoot him.  “You’re right.  What she did was WRONG, and I will let her know it can NEVER happen again.  But you need to know it meant NOTHING.”  He puts his hands on her shoulders.  “Summer, babe, the kiss meant NOTHING to me.  You believe me, don’t you?”  Summer frowny pouts.  Don’t let the terrorists win, Summer.

 

Mariah is SO DONE with this!   She’s been picked apart and analyzed her whole life, and she’s not going to let it happen again.  “You’re NOT my Path Leader, you’re not my therapist, you’re NOT EVEN my boyfriend!  You don’t know who or what I am!”  Kevin doesn’t think she does either.  “I am NOT Ian, or anyone else who has tried to run your life.  I CARE about you, legitimately, and I hate to see you doing this to yourself.”  Protecting herself to the extreme.  He gets it.  As scary as it was being locked in a closet by his dad, it was safer than what was on the outside.  “You know, you can’t spend your whole life not trusting anyone or relying on anyone, and then just flip a switch and trust that people actually give a damn about you,” he says.  Mariah stares.  Omg, Kevin does get it.  “But people GIVE A DAMN about you!” he continues, “You have Sharon and Nick and Faith and Noah!  And me.” 

 

Mariah tears up and sadly says it’s just too much.  The birthday party, the necklace from Sharon.  She doesn’t want it.  So would he please just go?  He sits down with her.  “I know how hard it is.  It’s scary!  Who would think that loving someone, or being loved in return would hurt so much?  It’s so much easier to put walls up, to run…or to go after a married man.  Or someone like Tyler who’s more into himself than anyone.”  (Okay, that was totally throwing Tyler’s character under the bus because he bent over backwards for her bullshit because he felt so bad for her.)  “I can’t help what I like,” retorts Mariah.  “You like being dismissed?  You like being mistreated and spat out like you’re worthless?  You’re not worthless.  You’re just too scared to figure that out for yourself.”  Mariah says she’s not scared.  “Then stop chasing people who are never going to love you, and go after something that’s real.”  Why?  Because that’s worked out so well for Kevin?  At least he’s been willing to try.  “You deserve to be loved,” says Kevin, “and I can tell you that a thousand times, but it won’t matter til you admit to yourself what you really want.”

 

Okay, Summer believes Austin.  She doesn’t think he’s interested in Mariah.  Austin guarantees that Mariah’s not really interested in him either.  She just wanted to Act Out, and he was the first guy she ran into.  Also, he’s never laid eyes on Cassie in his life.  They hear someone crashing around in the hallway, breaking glasses.  It’s THE Abby Newman, looking very THE.  She has her hair in a glam power bun and is wearing a fancy little fit’n’flare cocktail dress.  She says the good news is they don’t have to wash those now!  Austin does have to clean it up, though.

 

Summer’s like what are you doing here??  Um, it’s a bar?  She’s meeting some friends.  Summer’s like, who?  Abby vaguely says it’s just some people from the office, Summer doesn’t know them.  Summer frowns.  She knows a lot of people from Jabot, who is it?  Oh, it doesn’t really matter, so where is everyone??  Oh, Summer closed the bar for sex.  She wanted quality alone time with Austin??  A-hem?  Ohhh, Abby gets it.  “Sounds like something I would do!” she grins.  Sorry for interrupting.  That’s okay, her old pal Mariah already ruined it and left.  “But not before kissing Austin, though.”  Abby’s like OH EM GEE!

 

Chelsea gets home, but Jeff has to run off.  He and Glo Worm are going out to celebrate!  Billy says he paid Jeff the rest of the extortion money.  WHAT?!  He didn’t have to do that! Chelsea made the deal! Billy says but she just did it as a favor to him.  “Of course, Jeff made it sound like an act of desperation on your part, trying to keep Stitch in Victoria’s life, so I wouldn’t make a play for her.”   Chelsea’s like, omg, why can’t her father ever shut his mouth.  Billy says hopefully, he shut it for him.  He made it perfectly clear that this is where he wants to be.  She knows.  She tells him about hiring Sharon.  “Sharon NEWMAN Sharon?”  Yeah, it’s a long story, but Connor is the reason.  “I lied about who Connor’s father was, and I had to pay a heavy price for it.”  If Adam could forgive her for that, then she can be forgiving and understanding, too!  She smiles.  So at least one person can shelve their hypocrisy in this town.

 

Gabe tells Nick that Sage IS his friend, and yes, they live together, but probably not in the way he’s thinking.  They really mostly just torment each other in comedic fashion.  Sage explains she was raised here.  “And I just moved back to keep an eye on my grandmother, so there you have it,” you nosy bastard.  “No big mystery.”  Nick’s like, hey, it’s none of my business, amirite?  He didn’t mean to pry, while prying his ass off.  He honestly just came to extend his sympathies.  If Bingo needs to talk, if he needs ANYTHING, Nickster’s here for him.  All the stories he used to tell about his grandm, except for any stories about Wisconsin castles.  “She was SO amazing, all the times she rescued you.  I mean, I’m dying to know, is she the one who bailed you out of the Juliet incident?  Was that her?” he grins.  Gabe smiles.  Why can’t you just die in a bear trap like everyone else, asshole?

 

Abby says THIS is UNACCEPTABLE. Mariah can’t just go around kissing other people’s husbands, ESPECIALLY Summer’s!  Summer weakly says that Austin isn’t worried about it.  Of course not!  He doesn’t know Mariah’s history!  “She started slowly with me and Tyler, and then it was a full blown assault on our relationship, WHICH, you may have noticed, is OVER.”  But Austin thinks Mariah’s just trying to cause trouble.  “It’s what she DOES,” says Abby. 

 

Austin walks in with the broken glassware, and Abby jumps up.  “How could you let this happen?!  The fact that your lips touched hers is a crime against humanity!”  Austin says that’s a little extreme.  “IS it?  IS it, really?”  She tells Summer to be on guard and keep an eye on her!  “Love you both,” she throws out before prancing out. I’m way more interested in finding out what her love potion plan is, but we get more of Austin and Summer.  He hopes she’s not going to buy into anything ABBY just said.  Look, Summer knows Mariah was Just Acting Out, and he’s not going to cheat on her, but he can’t expect her to just sit there and take it!  No, but going off on her will just rile her up more.  “Come on, can’t I just play into it a little bit?” asks Summer.  Austin says they shouldn’t let Mariah have that kind of power over them.  So let’s go home and have more fun.  Summer worries.

 

Fine, Mariah admits maybe Kevin isn’t wrong about EVERYTHING.  “I may be possibly be scared of something real,” she says.  “I’m scared, too.  Love is risky.  Sometimes you meet someone, though, and it’s worth the risk.”  Does he think he’ll meet someone?  He gazes at her.  “I might someday.  You might, too.”  He leaves.  Well, that was weird.  They WERE talking about each other, right?

 

Chelsea comes down from checking on Connor.  He told her “Daddy read book.”  Wow.  “He called me Daddy?” says Billy.  Yep, it just came right out.  Which is amazing, because Connor must be super smart to translate the word “Billy” into “Daddy” at the age of one.  Billy asks how she feels about that. 

 

Gabe’s like, yeah, the Juliet incident.  That was really something.  “To say the least!” says Nick.  She was, um, a helluva girl, says Gabe.  “Excuse me?” says Nick.  “Juliet was a SAILBOAT!  I can’t believe you don’t remember that!”  The Gabriel Bingham HE knew 30 years ago would NEVER forget that!  Adam squirms.  Sailboats are “girls,” errybody knows that.  Surely he will say that, NEXT TIME, on Y&R.

Edited January 13, 2015 by peach

[Foghorn Leghorn]

 

 

<Peach leans back and stares at the ceiling for a second before continuing>  BECAUSE IT’S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.

 

LMAO

[NinjaPenguins]

 

“Right, so, sick assistant, missing toy, what else could go wrong?”  says Downer Billy.  Who knows, maybe someone will get a paper cut!

Oh let it be Nick. On his taint.

 

 

Austin says she can’t leave until she hears the whole story!  I hope there’s a study guide.

Oh snap!

 

 

Relax, Billy, he’s not talking about your Johnson.

The only johnson getting discussed in this town is Michael's. Also, I believe Billy's penis is nicknamed "Leatherhead."

 

 

BECAUSE OTHER THINGS ARE HAPPENING IN THE WORLD THAT DON’T CONCERN YOU.

Nick's nose is going to be some out of joint when he realizes the world actually revolves around Dylan, his royal Espresso Excellency.

[klopek]

Peach - Your updates are beyond BRILLIANT! You're astute observations combined with outrageously fantastic writing skills bring sparkle and life to this show where absolutely none exist. Remarkable talent you possess there.  Thank you!   

[Snaporaz]

So is it common for rich kids to regale their boarding school chums with tales of their grandmother? That sure is different from public school!

[movinon]

 

“No big mystery.”  Nick’s like, hey, it’s none of my business, amirite?  He didn’t mean to pry, while prying his ass off.  He honestly just came to extend his sympathies.

You state it so perfectly - I don't know who needs to die first - we have so many choices:  Nick, Victor, Dylan, Neil, Devon, Billy?,  Right now Nick is at the top of my list, and you have to work really hard to get above Victor.  Great recap, as usual, Peach.  

[Runningwild]

I had forgotten how annoying I thought Nick was during this episode. After reading this recap, it all came back to me.

[glowlights]

He honestly just came to extend his sympathies.

 

THANK YOU. Someone's beloved grandmother - who was his mother figure and raised him - literally just died and all Nick wants to do is yuk it up with cute anecdotes about jolly old Switzerland and pry pry pry? Jeez loo-eeze.

 

Am lighting a prayer candle in hopes that The Saga of Crimson Lights will be over soon. I have not one fuck to give.

 

Thanks, as always, for these recaps which frankly make the show worth watching. Hope everyone had a terrific holiday. Happy New Year!

[Desperately Random]

THANK YOU. Someone's beloved grandmother - who was his mother figure and raised him - literally just died and all Nick wants to do is yuk it up with cute anecdotes about jolly old Switzerland and pry pry pry? Jeez loo-eeze.

 

Am lighting a prayer candle in hopes that The Saga of Crimson Lights will be over soon. I have not one fuck to give.

 

Nick has always been a neanderthal but that just showed him to be a self-centered clueless ass. He kept asking Sage what was wrong with Gabe and when she would remind Nick that he was upset that Constance just died Nick would grunt in momentary clarity with "Right... death....sad." Then two minutes later the cycle starts again. Nick is proving that he really doesn't have an ounce of class or an in IQ higher than room temperature.

 

I'm with you with this whole CL stupidity. It's not only boring me but it's starting to piss me off because Dylan's whining about his losing his rundown coffee shop is making me want to see it bulldozed to the ground which would mean that I'm on Victor's side. Oh no, not going to happen. I don't care if Victor is advocating for a shelter for homeless kittens and puppies*. I will not side with Victor! The Show will not make me. I will hold strong.

 

*Actually I think that would do it. If the new development deal does have that shelter, then I give in.   :(

Edited January 14, 2015 by Desperately Random

[MollyB]

 

Fine, Mariah admits maybe Kevin isn’t wrong about EVERYTHING.  “I may be possibly be scared of something real,” she says.  “I’m scared, too.  Love is risky.  Sometimes you meet someone, though, and it’s worth the risk.”  Does he think he’ll meet someone?  He gazes at her.  “I might someday.  You might, too.”  He leaves.  Well, that was weird.  They WERE talking about each other, right?

This beats the hell out of rosepetals and forced afternoon sex in the Romantic department.

[MollyB]

 

Then two minutes later the cycle starts again. Nick is proving that he really doesn't have an ounce of class or an in IQ higher than room temperature.

If there is ever a road show of Finding Nemo, Nick can play the Ellen Degeneres fish.

[peacheslatour]

 

"Right... death....sad."

"Lemon.  Wet.  Good."

 

I'm with you with this whole CL stupidity. It's not only boring me but it's starting to piss me off because Dylan's whining about his losing his rundown coffee shop is making me want to see it bulldozed to the ground which would mean that I'm on Victor's side. Oh no, not going to happen. I don't care if Victor is advocating for a shelter for homeless kittens and puppies*. I will not side with Victor! The Show will not make me. I will hold strong.

I loving seeing Captain Cardboard thinking he can beat TGVN.  Notgonnahappenyouhaveanicedayk?