Explain it to Me Like I'm Lily: Recaps for the Disenchanted

[movinon]

 

 

....which would mean that I'm on Victor's side. Oh no, not going to happen. I don't care if Victor is advocating for a shelter for homeless kittens and puppies*. I will not side with Victor! The Show will not make me. I will hold strong.

*Actually I think that would do it. If the new development deal does have that shelter, then I give in.   :(

NO!!! Don't give in.  The old fart would never build a shelter for homeless kittens and puppies.  We don't even know what he did with his own dog - probably sent him away with Miguel.  Hemorrhoids to Victor - many, many Hemorrhoids!

[Petunia13]

I had forgotten how annoying I thought Nick was during this episode. After reading this recap, it all came back to me.

He thinks the world revolves around him and has the logic of a walnut.

[klopek]

NO!!! Don't give in.  The old fart would never build a shelter for homeless kittens and puppies.  We don't even know what he did with his own dog - probably sent him away with Miguel.  Hemorrhoids to Victor - many, many Hemorrhoids!

 

LoLoL.. and if I may, just for good measure... a pox upon Victor's hemorrhoids - a million pox upon those many, many hemorrhoids!

[peach]

Mon, Jan 12    The Juliet Incident

 

Victor strolls off the elevator at Chelsea’s place.  “This building needs better security,” comments Jack, who’s already there.  Victor smiles.  “I would say it does, if people like you are allowed to lurk in the hallways.”  Jack asks if he hasn’t done enough damage today.  “Why do you have to cast your shadow on Billy and Chelsea’s doorstep?”  Victor is there to see his grandson.  Come to think of it, maybe he ISN’T his grandson…maybe Jack had time to manipulate the birth records or tamper with the DNA results.  Jack says he knows that isn’t fair.  Wah.  Sharon is responsible for what happened with Summer.  “You bet.  And you were only too happy to go along with her lies, weren’t you, Jack?  In fact, you wanted Summer so badly to be an Abbott, you didn’t even conduct your own DNA test, did you?”  That’s a pretty fair burn.  “I got news for you.  She’s a Newman, she ain’t an Abbott!” 

 

Well, Jack will love and respect her no matter WHAT her last name is, which is why he would never even THINK of deceiving her into signing documents about her mother’s health!  “Of course, you are RIGHTEOUS, Jack.  That’s right, if it were up to you, your fiancée would still be languishing in a coma, whilst you were cavorting with that…what’s her name?”  Okay, that’s enough.  Victor asks why Jack’s even there.  Does he have another woman stashed away somewhere? Jack is there to see Billy.  “I was invited.  Were you?”

 

Avery and Dylan come rushing in Crimson Lights.  They are positively giddy about all the protesters.  For the first time they feel like they can WIN!  Dylan smiles so big, I don’t even know who he is anymore!  Paul comes in.  He doesn’t look happy at all.  Dylan is literally rubbing his hands together in glee.  Now they finally know who the enemy is!  VICTOR.  Avery thinks putting a name to the person tearing down this neighborhood of warehouses gives them momentum.  Dylan asks Avery what their next move is?  Boycott Newman-Chancellor?!  Omg, the whole town will switch to Jabot Cosmetics!  Avery’s going to launch a media assault!  “Or…you could just walk away,” frowns Paul.  He looks like his binky is missing.  Avery and Dylan are like what the hell??  WHY?  Because Nikki’s a drunk.

 

Nikki sits and stares at the vodka bottle.  Maybe they should break down and get a TV so she has something else to look at.  She gets her phone and listens to Paul’s message about calling him if she feels like having a drink.  “Don’t worry, Paul, I have everything under control,” she whispers to herself. 

 

Lauren meets Michael at the club.  She asks how bad the pain is.  He says it’s just there.  WHAAAT?  So Michael already had a radiation treatment TONIGHT?  Where?  At the 24 hour oncology drive thru, right next to the wedding kiosk?  And why would it hurt yet?  She asks how they’re going to handle telling their friends at dinner.  NO.  He’s not going to have a Welcome To Michael’s Cancer Dinner, he pouts, and stomps off.

 

Billy asks Chelsea how she feels about Connor calling him Daddy.  Actually, she’s been putting off making a decision about it.  Why, if she wants Connor to call him Billy, they can correct him, it’s no big deal.  Isn’t that what they call Billy?  Billy?  Chelsea says everything is a big deal when it comes to who Connor’s father is.  “For my son’s sake, and my son’s heart, I have to keep Adam alive.”

 

THE JULIET INCIDENT:  Meanwhile, back at the castle, Adam’s skating on thin ice with the Nickmeister after saying Juliet was a helluva girl.  Again with Nick saying Gabriel Bingham would NEVER forget that Juliet was a sailboat.  “Yeah, well…maybe to you she was just a sailboat…but to me, she was my first love.”  Sage and Nick laugh.  “Hey, listen, I’m stuck in the Swiss Alps at an all boys school, it’s easy to think of a sailboat as the sexiest thing in the world, right?”  They all chuckle.  Nick jokes that he can still see the shape of that hull.  Gabe’s more of a stern man, himself.  Ha.  Sage says it’s so nice to know they have such good memories from school.  “Yeah, but the Juliet wasn’t exactly a good memory, right, Bingo?”  No, it was not, sorry to say. 

 

Sage asks Nick what happened to her.  She sank, to the bottom of the lake.  “Juliet sank,” states Gabe, like the Rain Man.  Nick says what Gabe SHOULD be saying is that he CRASHED her, and she sank.  “Gabe crashed a boat?” coos Sage.  “That’s so typical!”  Gabe says, Nick, come on, you weren’t exactly an angel.  Sage giggles.  Do tell, Nick!  Wait, first, Gabe’s GOT to tell him what happened after he sank The Juliet!  Sage is like, weren’t you there??  No, he transferred back to school in the U.S, at Genoa City High.  And never spoke to anyone from Mount Belle ever, ever again, apparently.  So, he never did hear about the fallout.  How bad was it?!  Adam squirms.

 

Victor tells Jack he doesn’t NEED an invitation to visit his own flesh and blood.  “A warning might be nice, do they know you’re coming?”  Victor says it’s none of his business.  “Oh, it’s my business all right.  Connor is my godson.”  An irrelevant title, with no substance, Victor retorts.  “It certainly seemed important to Adam.  He wanted me to protect his son.”  Victor says protect him from what?  From ME??  Like this is a surprise to the man who blackmailed Adam to stay close to him. 

 

Jack says it was Adam’s wish that Victor not interfere in Connor’s life.  And who is JACK to interpret Adam’s final wishes?  Well, he’s the guy on the guardianship papers, but Jack just says he was closer to Adam than anyone in this town.  And he certainly shared a lot more with Jack than he did his own father!  Victor says that just shows how distorted Adam’s thinking was at the end of his life.  “Adam. Made. Mistakes.  Plenty of them!  But HE IS who HE IS, ONLY because of YOU!”  Victor frowns.  “Why are you speaking of Adam in the present tense??”  Jack’s like, d’oh!

 

“Crashing that beautiful sailboat was not my finest hour,” says Gabe.  “I sorta blocked it out, you can imagine.”  No, Nick cannot imagine that you don’t want to rehash all the embarrassing incidents of your youth, immediately after the most important person in your life just died.  Sage asks Nick about being Gabe’s big brother, which, I don’t know why she is indulging this dangerous conversation for one more second, but Nick WANTS TO KNOW!  HOW did The Juliet Incident pan out?!  Sage asks if it was really that big of a deal.  “IT WAS ONLY THE BIGGEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED AT OUR SCHOOL!   Considering the Juliet was the HEADMASTER’S boat!”  He’s sure you can imagine…wow, how did Gabe get out of it?!  I imagine the short answer would be “money.” 

 

Gabe hems and haws a little, and looks downcast, and says he really doesn’t want to talk about all that right now.   Obviously Grandmother saved him, more than once, and SHE’S DEAD and I’M KIND OF BUMMED OUT RIGHT NOW.  “I still can’t believe she’s gone,” he says sadly.  Sage pats his leg.  “She was a wonderful woman.”  Okay, Nick understands…but, OMG, IT WAS SO FUNNY, so you REALLY gotta tell Sage the Juliet story sometime!!  It was a laff riot!  Sage and Gabe suggest that NICK tell this story if it’s so goddamn funny. 

 

Nick guffaws and tells a fairly basic story about one boy trying to secure the boat, but it drifted away, and then he and Gabriel jumped in after it.  HILARIOUS!!!  “I just jumped blindly in the lake,” adds Gabe, “because that’s just the kind of guy I am.”  Yeaaah, says Sage.  Lol.  But once Gabe got on the boat he just had to see what it could do, so he got it up to full speed and crashed it on some debris in the water, and killed Juliet.  Nick says there are a LOT of stories like that.  “I’m afraid that’s probably true,” says Gabe.

 

Billy thinks it’s okay if Chelsea wants to keep Adam’s memory front and center for her son.  Thanks, Billy.  She wants Connor to be proud of the good things Adam did, and to know HOW MUCH he adored him.  Billy says they’ll make sure of that.  She wants her son to have a father that’s a man of honor, and strength, and compassion.  So, she doesn’t think Connor could have chosen a better person to call Daddy, than Honorable, Strong, Compassionate Billy, AKA, “thatloserdegenerate Billyboy Abbott.”  Billy’s humbled.  She’s making him sound like some kind of role model.  Well, he IS, to Connor!  “Chels, I shouldn’t be.  I mean…I’ve made so many mistakes.”  Like killing Adam.  She has, too, so they’ll just teach Connor to do better.  That will be an interesting lesson.  “You can count on me,” says Billy.

 

They’re interrupted by the sound of Jack and Victor arguing in the hallway.  Chelsea asks what is going on.  Jack is being rather impolite about Adam’s death!  Hardly, says Jack.  Victor’s still mad about him speaking of Adam in the present tense, as if he were here!  Jack says he misspoke.  “Well, it’s utterly inappropriate!!” shouts Victor.  I don’t get why he’s offended by that.  But Chelsea looks upset over the whole thing.

 

Michael is tedious and annoying and ENUNCIATEENG while arguing with Lauren about telling Paul and ChrisTEEN he has CANcer.  He finally has a revelation that this affects HER as well, and she might actually need friends right now.  He finally agrees to tell.  Chris shows up before Paul because drama, but they have some NEWS to tell them.  Michael says he does, too.

 

Paul tells Dylan he’s not asking him to completely give up and surrender.  Well, that’s what it sounded like!  “I don’t want you to give up, Son.  I’m just suggesting you let someone else man the charge for the rest of the war.”  Avery doesn’t like that one bit. “This is Dylan’s place, why shouldn’t he be the one to fight for it,” she huffs.  Dylan says what impresses him most about Paul is that he’s a Man Of Principle and stands up for what he believes in, especially keeping Dylan out of prison.  “How can you ask me to do less than that?” 

 

Paul seems almost griefstricken.  He’s worried about NIKKI.  “This puts your mother in an incredibly difficult situation.”  Maybe you should all go to an Al Anon meeting instead of stopping your life to keep her from drinking.  Avery’s looking at her computer, and says the headlines are already playing up the “Her Husband Vs. Her Son” angle.  Paul’s sure they’re eager to write the next chapter in Nikki’s Troubles, which sounds vaguely naughty.  Dylan sees his point, but he doesn’t see how dialing back is the answer.  That is letting Victor win!!

 

So, Victor is at Chelsea’s to give her Connor’s stock report, but he can’t see him because he’s sleeping.  “Are you here to tell the little fellow about your latest potential conquest?” asks Jack.  Big Bad Victor’s been busy decimating Crimson Lights and the rest of the warehouse district that is so dear to all the other billionaires in town.  They love dem warehouses.  Chelsea worries about him destroying Dylan’s business. 

 

Proletariat Billy says, “Oh, I’m sure TGVN considered all of that, and then just dismissed it as collateral damage.”  Actually, he generously offered to PAY for Dylan to relocate, but why bring that up?  “Developing the downtown district would ensure my grandson’s legacy, and it would make Genoa City much stronger.”  And nicer.  “I guess we’ll see about that, won’t we?” says Jack.  Victor tells Chelsea he’ll come back some time when it’s less crowded.  He leaves.  So why did they ask Jack to come over and crowd up the place?  Billy wants to ask him something.  Something Important.

 

Sage and Gabe herd Nick to the door.  She’s sorry they can’t visit longer, but they are in the middle of making funeral arrangements.  So, GTFO.  Oh, sure, Nick totally gets it.  And just remember, Gabe…E pluribus unum.  Or some German phrase that Gabe’s supposed to know.  Adam’s getting really sick of this.  “Auf wiedersehen,” he smirks, and walks away.  “Wut happened?” asks Nick, “Did I say something wrong?”  IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU.  GOOO AWAAAY.

 

Victor gets home, so Nikki stashes the vodka bottle under the couch instead of just putting it back on the bar.  They’re cold to each other, but she’s so drunk she stumbles and falls on the couch. She’s FINE, OKAY.  Leave her alone!  Victor says just because they’re having an argument doesn’t mean he won’t help her through an MS episode!  Mostly Sauced.  “It’s NOT an MS episode.  It’s YOU.  MS is nothing compared to what you’ve done.”  So, he’s worse than a chronic, debilitating disease.  “I haven’t done adamnthing!  What the hell is the matter with you!!”

 

Paul joins the dinner party.  Michael insists Paul and Christine’s news comes first.  “We’re pregnant!” says Christine.  Well, isn’t that just the bees knees.  They’ll need all of those Baldwin parenting tips.  So, let’s hear Michael’s big news!!  Lauren and Michael are like…ummm…

 

Billy tells Jack that he and Chelsea have been talking a lot about the importance of positive father figures.  So far, the list contains Adam Newman and Billy Abbott, so there’s nowhere to go but up.  “Since you’re the most positive father figure I know,” says Billy, considering he’s Almost A Dad To Me to half the town, “I was wondering if you’d do me the honor of being Katie’s godfather?”  Jack seems overwhelmed.  Billy assures him Vicky’s on board with this, and Chelsea was sure to point out what a great godfather he is to Connor.  Oof.  Jack says he takes the position very seriously, enough to hide the fact that kid’s dad faked his own death.  Chelsea goes to check on Katie’s halfstepgodcousin.

 

Jack’s conflicted because Adam, but OF COURSE he’d be thrilled to represent the Abbott family.   Billy gives him a big hug.  He knew he could count on you, Jack!  “You can ALWAYS count on me.  ALWAYS,” Jack says earnestly.  So, uh, hey, Billy’s been meaning to ask you about that new guy at Jabot…Gabriel Bingham?  What’s his position gonna be?  Jack’s like…ugh.

 

Nick asks Sage if he said something to upset Gabe.  “I don’t know.  Whadja say?”  He was just trying to wish him well, you know, be strong and have courage.  It was a saying at their old school, and this coach used to hammer it in their heads.  “Courage lost, all lost.”  He thought it would bring back some good memories for him, he says, confused.  That actually sounds like a terrible thing to say in a time of grief, and also, YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THIS GUY SINCE HIGH SCHOOL.  Maybe just leave him alone. 

 

Sage explains to idiot Nick that “Gabriel’s not feeling very happy right now.”  DUH!  Times infinity!  Yeah, Nick understands (not).  Losing someone you love, it flattens you.  That’s why I came over to yuk it up over boarding school hijinks instead of respecting your privacy.  He FINALLY leaves.  Adam comes back around the corner.  “Well, THAT can’t happen again!” he says angrily.   “So what do you suggest we do to Nick to stop it?” Sage says sarcastically.  Adam folds his arms and stares at her.  Obviously, he wanted to stop it at the bear trap stage, and YOU wouldn’t let him.  I think they could at least start with security cameras.

 

Lauren says their big news is that…Fen made the dean’s list!  Blah yay blah.  They toast to all their blessings.  Michael tries not to choke on it.

 

Well, Jack goes all in on Gabriel Bingham.  He tells Billy he’ll be a great asset to Jabot.  Blah blah, he’ll be a dynamic force in moving Jabot’s products forward worldwide, and why are we talking about him?  “He just hit me wrong,” complains Billy.  It’s that…Essence of Adam.  And he didn’t like how he showed up over here saying he was looking to rent in the building.  Coincidence, says Jack.  And Billy doesn’t like how he looks at Chelsea!  “Why ya worried about that?  You two are doing just fine these days, right?”  Billy’s like, better every day, but what’s with Jack’s tone?  Did he think Billy was gonna blow it? 

 

Jack reminds him this is a REBOUND relationship.  THOSE can be problematic.  He’s concerned that things are moving pretty fast with them.  “Chelsea and I have known each other for years, Jack!”  They’ve been through childbirth (due to rape and then giving her baby to Villy), raising her kids, and death and loss, and a lot of things that never actually happened with them TOGETHER, but whatever.  They’re Goose and Maverick now. So where’s this coming from?  Chelsea comes downstairs.  “I think I can answer that.  It’s about Adam, isn’t it.”  Yep.

 

ADAM NEWMAN,  VOICE OF THE PEOPLE:  Adam is agitated and pacing around the castle.  “That CANNOT happen again!  I need to be prepared, you know, so I don’t get inadvertently tripped up by one of Nick’s rah rah boarding school stories!”  I think she told you that about a hundred times, but you refused to listen.  Sage doesn’t seem too worried.  Whatever Nick brings up, just blow past it, and he’ll let it go.  How hard could it be to fool Nick Newman?  “No, no, he won’t let it go.  You don’t know my brother.  He’s got this White Knight complex, the moment he senses any kind of distrust he jumps on his steed, and here he is, off to the rescue.  He’s a real hypocrite, this guy.”  Sage is bemused and smirking, as usual.  But, Sage, this man SPEAKS TRUTH.  And maybe reads this site!  lol

 

“So in this scenario of yours, you’re the Dark Knight, and I’m the damsel in distress?”  That’s the Dark Knight, Junior, okay.  “YOU are definitely not a damsel in distress,” mocks Adam.  You counter my death threats, plus you’re super mean and hurt my feelz every day.  He stops himself….wait a minute… “He likes you,” he kinda grins.  Sage is all..you think so? She tries to hide her little smile.  Adam’s like, don’t flatter yourself.  “This is just the way his prehistoric, caveman brain works.  You know, pretty girl..rescue me.. I fall in love with pretty girl.  He’s a simpleton.”  <round of applause> 

 

Sage thinks Nick is just a nice guy, which is why the two of them don’t get along.  So what’s Adam’s plan?  “I’m gonna use my best asset,” he grins.  “You. You’re going to keep an eye on him for me.”  “You want me to spy on him for you?” she says distastefully.  Right, the woman who just spend a year orchestrating the faking of Gabriel Bingham thinks that’s beneath her.  “Well, it’s the wifey thing to do.” 

 

Nick runs into Avery at Crimson Lights.  She asks if he heard the big news.  Hmm, what?  That is father is destroying the city!!  Oh, that, yeah, he knows all about it, whatever.  Avery knows she shouldn’t be shocked, either, but she didn’t think he’d betray NIKKI like this.  And now Dylan is on the warpath, and…  Nick’s obviously not paying attention.  Nick!  Hello?!  Oh, sorry, were you talking about you?  She asks what’s going on with him?  Right, forget your life altering problems, Avery, what’s wrong with NICK?

 

Nikki’s on the verge of slurring, and rants that she DOES feel physically ill right now, and it’s not because of any disease.  It’s from a liter of vodka.  Oh, and his LIES.  IT’s VODKA AND LIES, VICTOR!  And his behavior!  He deliberately hurt her son!  Geez, look what he does to his own kids, Nikki.  It has just left her exhausted and physically ill!!  He says they’ll discuss this later when she’s feeling better.  “What?  When you do it again?!  That’s what always happens, Victor, I forgive you, and then you hurt me again!!” she shouts.  Will you PLEASE stop it now, says Victor.

 

Super Dylan comes blasting in the door like he owns the place.  “What’s going on?” he demands.  “Dylan,” whimpers Nikki in her baby voice, like she wasn't just giving Victor hell perfectly fine a second ago.  Victor’s just staring at him like he’s utterly lost his mind.  “Who are you walking into my home?” “I’M NIKKI’S SON,” the holy child sent away in a basket only to return as THE DELIVERER.  “Do you want to leave?” he asks his helpless billionaire mommy, like he’s rescuing her from Ike Turner in the trailer park.

 

“ARE YOU SERIOUS?” bellows Victor.  IKR?  “YOU WALK INTO MY HOME, UNINVITED, AND YOU’RE ASKING HER TO LEAVE?  THE ONLY ONE LEAVING IS YOU!”  Super Dylan’s all, oh, you think you can bark commands and the whole world jumps?  Uh, maybe in his own house, yeah.  “You should have learned from your attempt to put me out of business, that I will stand and fight for what I care about, and that includes my mother!”  “IT WAS A BUSINESS DECISION.  NOTHING ELSE.”  Dylan stares like a zombie.  Fine, Dylan, you can stay in the building.  Your rent is now five million dollars a month. 

 

Nikki The Martyr whines that she really doesn’t want to be the cause of any more trouble.  Sure.  Dylan assures her she’s not the cause.  HE is.  “You going after my business.  Is this really about money?  Or is this about YOUR WIFE having a middle aged son with Paul Williams?”  IT’S ABOUT MONEY, DYLAN.  YOU DON’T MAKE ANY.  (Peach is yelling now, not Victor.)   Nikki stares with Wanda lips.

 

“You do not come into my home and speak to me like this, alright?” says Victor.  “You calm down now.  Don’t spin what is a pure business decision into some sinister plot.”  Dylan says he’s hiding behind his business.  Victor gets up in his face.  “I don’t hide behind anything or anyone, you got that?” he growls.  “I know how you work, Victor.”  “If I have a problem, I come to you AND FACE YOU!  I DISCUSS IT MAN TO MAN!  NOT LIKE YOU!”  Wait, isn't that what Dylan's doing right now?  Dylan asks if he thinks taking Crimson Lights is helping his mother?!   IT WAS A PURE BUSINESS DECISION Victor shouts, but talking louder doesn’t help Dylan understand concepts. 

 

“Stop it, stop it, both of you!” cries Nikki.  You know how much she hates the menfolk fighting over her.  “Are you sure you’re alright here?” asks Super Dylan.  Victor’s eyes almost bug out of his head.  “She IS alright here!  LEAVE!  I SAID, LEAVE!”  Not until he’s sure she’s okay!  “I SAID, LEAVE!”  Nikki says she can handle this and will be fine.  Dylan says to call if she needs anything.  “GET OUT NOW!”  Nikki acts all delicate like she wasn’t throwing down right alongside Victor in Maureen’s hospital room recently. 

 

Dylan finally walks out.  “THESE YOUNG PUNKS!  THINK THEY’RE TOUGH?”  These 40yo punks are something else, really.  Nikki shouts that he’s NOT to blame for this!  Victor thinks Super Dylan got her all stirred up. Nikki is shaken, not stirred.  And she’s not sharing a bed with him! 

 

Nick sits down to blather to Avery about himself feeling unsettled and at loose ends.  Omg, not unsettled?!  And at loose ends?!  Poor Nick!  Well, Avery says a custody battle he instigated would make any parent worry.  Mostly the other parent.  “I’m sure most of it’s about Faith, but really it’s about ME.  I’m trying to get a grip in my own life.”  Avery comforts him, because he’s a WONDERFUL parent tearing his child away from her mother.  Don’t ever doubt that.  “I’ve been questioning the years of my life with Sharon…and even the years before.”  All because he ran into an old friend.  Me me me me me me.

 

Chelsea says Jack still feels some loyalty to Adam, doesn’t he?  Even after what he did, even though he’s gone.  “More loyal than you feel to your own brother?” asks Billy.  “You KNOW that could never happen! It’s, I, it’s just, I don’t want to see either of you get hurt.”  Or killed.  Blah blah, Chelsea’s the greatest, and Billy would never hurt her.  Chelsea says Jack knows she couldn’t even believe or accept for months that Adam was really dead.  But she had to face some hard facts, and move on with and build a life with super amazing Billy.  She really can’t imagine her life without Billy.  Billy really believes they can make this work, is it that tough for him to believe it, too?  Jack flaps.

 

I guess Nick went someplace else to be at loose ends, maybe a cancer ward, and Dylan gets back to Crimson Lights.  He tells Avery that Nikki looks [drunk] sick and shaky.  And he HATES the fact that she’s married to that egomaniac!  He doesn’t mention how he made things worse by picking a fight in the living room to make her feel better.  He calls Paul to give him the update that Nikki’s not doing so great.  Paul thanks him for the update.   And he promises Dylan he will keep a CLOSE eye on Nikki.  Chris has walked up behind him and hears!  Her eyes narrow into slits of doom.  Nikki!!

 

Nikki’s staying in the guest room.  Whatever.  Blah blah, you’re attacking my knucklehead son.  “JUST because you and your son see it that way, doesn’t make it so!”  “Do you not remember how HARD I tried to accept Adam.”  Wow, horrible example.  “I think the LEAST you could do is accept someone as UPSTANDING as Super Dylan!”  Victor is just lost.  “None of what you’re saying makes any sense to me, okay?”  Me neither.  He will discuss it when she’s more reasonable.  He goes upstairs, and moral lecturer Nikki grabs her vodka bottle from under the couch and starts to going to town on it.  A drink tastes so much better after you blame everyone else for your problems.

 

Jack promises he has no problem with Billy and Chelsea hooking up, he just wants what’s best for both of them.  Chelsea hugs him goodbye and walks off.  Billy knows Jack still isn’t 100% behind this relationship.  He’s just trying to protect you, Billy.  Billy’s like, come on, it’s not like his life is going to the do the 180 Jack’s did!  It’s not like Adam’s going to rise up out of a hospital bed.  No, he’s going to rise up out of the GRAVE!  He explains that he and Chelsea are taking off their rings and tattoos, and Connor’s even calling him Daddy.  “Don’t get too attached,” warns Jack.   Geez, this is NOT Jack’s life!  He’s already been through the worst with Delia and Vick, and NOTHING is going to rip Chelsea and Connor away from him!  “You can’t anticipate the future,” intones Jack….and I gotta go!  Bye!  Billy’s just standing there, like, that was creepy. 

 

Sage thought Adam wanted her to keep her distance from Nick.  Well, plans change.  And since he has to stay in Genoa City to win Chelsea back, because the script says so, that means he’s going to keep running into his brother.  He needs more details about these boarding school buddies.  Sage says, so research it online like any normal person in 2015.  No, that won’t give him the personal details!  He needs to know what’s going on in his thick skull!  Sage says, okay, in a way that should give Adam pause, but he’s too focused on himself, because he’s also a Newman child.  She stands in the doorway, ominously observing him, while he tells her to dig deep, and pound him for all the information she can.  “I need to make sure he keeps thinking that I’m his old pal, Gabe.” 

 

Nick, speaker of inspirational German phrases, is now doing a little academic research himself, on his tablet.  Did you know you could get 30yo articles from the Mount Bell Press online now?  You’re straining my credulity, show.  1) That this would exist.  2) That Nick would find it.  3) That Adam didn’t find it.  3) That SAGE didn’t find it or ALREADY KNOW ABOUT IT.  Because guess what it says:  “FRESHMAN EXPELLED AFTER BOATING ACCIDENT.”  

 

“Gabriel was expelled?” says Nick.  “How could he not remember that?”  He stares in confusion.  A practical answer for Nick’s pea brain is that MAYBE the guy doesn’t want to talk about getting EXPELLED when you’re a virtual stranger now.  But I’m also confused.  How would Sage not know her “best friend” Gabriel got expelled and went somewhere else, because he had to graduate from somewhere to get into Princeton and row boats.  Look, show, if you want to shoot, crash, burn, drown, and freeze a guy who survives and secretly gets plastic surgery to turn him into someone else, that is A-OK with me…but THIS is stupid!

[crosby777]

Is sc on holidays? She sure has not gotten much air time the last while?

[photo fox]

Look, show, if you want to shoot, crash, burn, drown, and freeze a guy who survives and secretly gets plastic surgery to turn him into someone else, that is A-OK with me…but THIS is stupid!

So much word. I can get down with the rest of it, but Adam Newman was never stupid. And neither was Gabriel Bingham, if he went to Princeton. Let's not pretend that the caveman could outsmart either of them ever.

[Runningwild]

Great recap. I think Michael is probably in pain from the Cancer, not radiation. The Cancer is spreading, so I would assume the tumor(s) are pressing against his insides.

[NinjaPenguins]

 

So Michael already had a radiation treatment TONIGHT?  Where?  At the 24 hour oncology drive thru, right next to the wedding kiosk?

Word of advice: Avoid the Pap Smear on Wheels cart.

 

 

Sage asks Nick about being Gabe’s big brother, which, I don’t know why she is indulging this dangerous conversation for one more second

I think she just likes fucking with Adam, and I can't lie; I enjoy it too.

 

 

Maybe you should all go to an Al Anon meeting instead of stopping your life to keep her from drinking.

I sincerely dislike this aspect of the show. Hillary stays in a loveless, skeevy marriage so that Neil doesn't drink. Dylan is expected to give up his misguided quest to save the Church of the Sacred Scone so Nikki doesn't hit the bottle. I thought part of recovery was owning it, but I suppose Genoa City operates under different ideas.

 

 

Victor says just because they’re having an argument doesn’t mean he won’t help her through an MS episode!  Mostly Sauced.

This is so wrong...yet so deliciously right.

 

 

So, he’s worse than a chronic, debilitating disease.

Yes.

 

 

“We’re pregnant!” says Christine.

Did she really say this? I hate people who say this. Cricket is the gestating fool here, a miracle no doubt caused by imbibing Dylan's holy water-infused lattes.

 

 

So, uh, hey, Billy’s been meaning to ask you about that new guy at Jabot…Gabriel Bingham?  What’s his position gonna be?

He's the new resident asshole. Sorry, Billy, guess you're out of a job!

 

 

How hard could it be to fool Nick Newman?

That bear trap had no problems.

 

 

“Who are you walking into my home?” “I’M NIKKI’S SON,” the holy child sent away in a basket only to return as THE DELIVERER

This story ends with someone nailed to a cross, right? Although nailing a piece of wood to another piece of wood seems redundant.

 

 

“I don’t hide behind anything or anyone, you got that?” he growls.

Victor always takes care of his own bidness. He would never hide behind, say, Patty or Mariah.

[NinjaPenguins]

 

I guess Nick went someplace else to be at loose ends, maybe a cancer ward,

Perhaps narcissistic Nick could tour a hospice and regale the patients with tales of the time he gave Bingo a purple nurple and they both kind of liked it.

 

 

He needs to know what’s going on in his thick skull!

There's a stoned hamster scrambling to get back on his wheel, dude.

[glowlights]

Victor says just because they’re having an argument doesn’t mean he won’t help her through an MS episode!  Mostly Sauced.

 

LOL is completely inaccurate to describe how this made me laugh. Brilliant. (Yes, part of recovery is supposed to be about taking responsibility. It's also about maybe not having a fully stocked wet bar in your living room and hanging out with people who are always drinking. Just sayin', Nikki. And Neil-Who-I-Forgot-Was-An-Alchoholic-Because-Who-Cares-About-Neil.

 

Why not a shelter for puppies and kittens? Then we could look at cute puppies and kittens for an hour and just ignore whatever the characters are blathering on about. Maybe a split screen with a live shelter cam. I guarantee the ratings would soar.

[Snaporaz]

If Nikki and Victor do break down and buy a tv, and she starts watching Y&R, she'll be hitting the sauce twice as hard.

[peacheslatour]

 

Word of advice: Avoid the Pap Smear on Wheels cart.

Yes, and I've always found  DNA Tests While U Wait to be rather unreliable.

 

You know if Billy had any insight at all he would have noticed Jack's hostility towards Gabdam and begun to suspect that he is blackmailing Jack.  He could start investigating like he did with Stitch and that might be interesting...Oh wait, what am I saying?  I forgot what show we're watching.

[MollyB]

Well, now I know why Gabadam and Sage didn't just say they were married.  We have to let Sage 'get to know' Nick so she can find out all those boreding school (yes, correct spelling) hijinks.  Writers:  I don't give a damn about a sunken boat, expellation, big brother history that happened off screen.  Come up with some better way for Nick to boink Sage.  Jeebus, wouldn't an affair with a married woman be enough tension?  There's fresh hay in the barn.

Instead of security cameras, I say surround the castle with a moat full of rusty, illegal bear traps.

Peach, I think you outdid yourself on this recap-as others have said, there's not much to work with in the last few episodes.  You knitting with two needles?

[movinon]

 

.....,..but she’s so drunk she stumbles and falls on the couch. She’s FINE, OKAY.  Leave her alone!  Victor says just because they’re having an argument doesn’t mean he won’t help her through an MS episode!  Mostly Sauced.

OK, Peach, there were about ten to choose from, but this is my favorite, I think.  I'll give someone else a chance to get the others first.  I should be enjoying this because I'm ashamed to admit I love watching Nikki play drunk, but, as usual, my intolerance for all things Victor mars my life.  If I get to watch her stumble around and look stupid, I also have to see that piece of shit.  To be repetitive, I don't think he's going after Dylan and wouldn't care if he was - just want to see him broke, friendless, and on welfare.  Please, God!!!

Edited January 15, 2015 by movinon

[crosby777]

 

If Nikki and Victor do break down and buy a tv, and she starts watching Y&R, she'll be hitting the sauce twice as hard.

LMFAO

[PatsyandEddie]

 

Word of advice: Avoid the Pap Smear on Wheels cart.

 

 

********DEAD*******

[Snaporaz]

Yes, and I've always found  DNA Tests While U Wait to be rather unreliable...

I think I mentioned in the episode forum a while back that Walgreen's actually carries home DNA test kits (they're next to the condoms and pregnancy tests). It cracks me up every time I see them because I think of both Jerry Springer and Y&R simultaneously!

[peach]

 

This story ends with someone nailed to a cross, right? Although nailing a piece of wood to another piece of wood seems redundant.

 

LOL, but no, I was talking about Moses. 

[peach]

Tue, Jan 13     Afterglow, Baby!

 

Stitch and Victoria are canoodling down the hallway at Jabot.  Her hair is conditioned and shiny and looks wonderful!    They’re all giggly, and Ashley opens the door to the lab for them.  “Victoria, how nice of you to escort Ben to the lab this morning.”  Weird.  Vicky says she’s actually there to see Abby.   Ash says Abby isn’t there, but she probably already knew that, and that’s just her little cover story.  Vicky’s like, um, coverinnnng for what?  Ashley says, “Come on, we’re all grownups.  I think I know what you’re really after.” 

 

THE Abby Newman is at the club office and gets out her little test tube of love potion while caper music plays in the background.  She has a flashback to when she stole some of it in Jack’s office.  “This could be SO fun,” she says with a sly smile.  But then Kelly walks around the corner.  “Abby?  Hello, what are you doing here?”  Well, that just ruined it.  Abby frowns at her, like what are you doing at your own office?

 

Phyllis is wearing femme fatale red, and is on the phone saying, “As far as Jack is concerned, he cannot find out about any of this.”    He walks in wearing a bathrobe, which is amusing to me somehow.   He needs a pipe.  “Are you gonna tell me what’s going on?” he asks disapprovingly. 

 

Gwen and Devon are getting dressed in a club suite.  I see.  She’s wearing a dynamic little cocktail dress from the Lily Winters Business Collection before she heads to Jabot Accounting.  Devon is saying this was a bad idea.  She’s like WHY?  He covers and says because he’s going to make her late for work.  She smiles.  “As long as I add up the columns properly, Jabot doesn’t care if I’m a little tardy.”   I’m sure she’ll still beat the rest of them into the office.  She says it’s the best start to the day.  “Making love to you just gets better and better,” she purrs.  SO THEY’VE BEEN DOING IT.  A LOT.  Devon says he’s probably crowding her.  She says only in the best possible way.  And it answers her question about where things stand with him.  “I like your answer very much.”  They kiss, but Devon looks kind of like he’s standing at attention.

 

Speaking of crowding someone, Neil and Hilary are at breakfast downstairs, while he lectures her about drinking her orange juice and getting enough folic acid.  Okay, Dad, she’s had plenty of orange juice today, thanks.  Neil assures her he’s just mentioning this because he cares about her, enough to explain to an educated, grown woman how to make healthy babies from the start.  Meanwhile, Hilary’s popping a birth control pill out of the foil packet in her purse. Discreet.  “You know, Neil, a baby would be a blessing…but, we can’t assume—“  Hilary’s not allowed to think or finish sentences, so Neil jive says, “Hey, making a baby means we get to stay busy in the bedroom.”  Hilary sort of laughs like when you’re indulging a weird old man in a buffet line or something. 

 

Neil says they’re already blessed in life, because they found each other.  He makes Lily take his hands, and she looks like she’s going to come out of her skin.  He blathers on about how he’s researching everything about them new fangled ways of taking care of baby mamas because he’s looking OUT for his WIFE!  Not controlling her every movement or anything like that.  She’s freaking out, though, because Gwen and Devon are walking in all loved up, with their arms around each other.  Then to top it all off, Lily walks up to their table.  “Good morning, you two,” she coos.  Hilary looks past her and sees Devon kissing on smiling Gwen’s face, and drops her water glass, smashing it!  (I was a better actress in 11th grade.) “Are you okay??” asks Lily.

 

Jack’s just upset that he woke up in an EMPTY BED.  Jack HATES sleeping alone!  Duh.  I guess Phyllis hates sleeping at all these days.  She mentions that he didn’t always sleep alone while she was gone, but he doesn’t want her to get started.  She hints that they could go back to bed.  No time, Phyllis, he has a meeting at the club.  Wait a minute, the club where Blondie works?  “Have you ever noticed how many blondes I have to deal with?  They’re pains the butt!”  There’s Blondie, Sharon, and even Avery sometimes.

 

Oh my goodness, Jack thinks this is going to get EXHAUSTING if she gets irked every time he mentions the club!  Business happens there!  But he doesn’t want Red to fret.  “At the very least, I’ll get the meeting moved to the office.” Yes, at the very least.  What a sacrifice for love, having meetings in offices.  No, no, no, for God’s sake, don’t do THAT.  She and Jack have Epic Love, so Blondie and the club, hey, what-ever.  “Listen to me,” says Jack, cradling her face, “We are always and forever.  Never forget that.”  Okay, well, Phyllis has things to do.  Things and stuff.  Toodleoo!

 

Ashley is apparently wearing a black negligee for a work blouse.  She asks Victoria if she wants to wait for Abby in the lab so she can get what she really wants?  Stitch interrupts and says he has a new approach for the compound, one that makes this weird convo over with ASAP.  Vicky kisses him goodbye, and heads off to look for Abby.  Stitch and Ash go in the lab, and he asks her what the hell just happened out there??   WHY is she acting like that with Victoria??  “She and I have a history.  We understand each other, believe me.”  It’s a bitch thing.  Stitch is like, look, we had ONE great night, but you know where my head is!  “Victoria’s playing you,” she chides, “It would be kind of amusing, if it weren’t so damned annoying.” 

 

Hilary is SO sorry she dropped her glass!  She’ll clean it up!  Neil asks if she’s okay?!  She sounds a little shaky.   Oh, no, Hilary’s just embarrassed.  She blames her hand lotion for dropping the glass.  Lily jokes that Jabot might have a lawsuit on their hands.  “Oh, no, they won’t, because my girl is too LOYAL for that.”   Mr. Suffocating diagnoses her with the jitters from giving up coffee.  She escapes to the ladies room.  Lily gets nosy about “no coffee,” but Neil says there’s no baby on board, not yet.  “But we sure are having fun trying.”  Lily’s like ewww, but yaaay! 

 

Hilary runs into Gwen in the lobby.  Gwen!!  She’s twinkling all over with joy, because she’s here…with Devon!!  “I know you set us up for show, but things are very, very real now.”  Hilary’s like, yeah, so is that what was going on earlier, with you two all over each other?  “Afterglow, baby!!” squeals Gwen.  “We need drinks and a long talk, so you can hear all the de-tails!”  She and Devon have been in a suite for TWO DAYS!  And she has Hilary to thank!  “NO!” snaps Hilary.  Umm, she, um, doesn’t want Gwen to get hurt, or possibly killed, because of something she did.  Just because a man takes her to bed, that doesn’t mean anything.  Please, Gwen’s a grown woman, she knows the difference between having fun and being real, and shit just got real, Hilary.  Devon has found his match!  She skips off, and then Devon himself walks up.  Hilary is LIVID.  “How could you do this to me?!”

 

Devon actually has the nerve to say, “What’d I do to you?”  Hilary’s like, uhh, sleeping with Gwen!  “She just told me allll about it.”  Devon is saved by Phyllis sweeping through the door.  She is SO excited and thankful to Hilary for setting up the FAKE MEETING for Jack this morning.  She left him at home thinking she didn’t even WANT him there today!  “I hate being duplicitous like this, but I HAD to.”  LOL, wut?   So did Hilary book the suite?  Oh, gosh, no, sorry, but she’s been too busy inside her Winters sandwich.

 

Lily’s mouth is as big as her nose, and she strolls up and says she and Hilary need to talk!  “Dad just told me!”  Hilary’s like wtf?  Phyllis says, “Told you what?  Is there news?”  Devon frowns accusingly.  “Already?”  Hilary frowns harder.  “Already what??”  Lily’s like, oh, duh, maybe I shouldn’t be talking about this here.  Phyllis asks if they’re talking about life changing events?  “Oh, God,” moans Hilary.  Wtf is wrong with this family?  Lily waves her hands, no, no, no baby.  She doesn’t want to start any of her dumbass rumors again!  Phyllis is like, but there might be future news about a baby?  Hilary’s like, HEY, Lily, could you help Phyllis out with her surprise for Jack?  It’s urgent.  Lily, friend of Kelly, is like…oh.

 

Abby tells Kelly she left a note for Lily, so she can have her office back now.  Wow, that is really big of her!  She snottily tells Kelly she can go back to her work related activities now.  Kelly’s like, hey, I know you were never a big fan of Jack + Kelly, but that is all OVER now, so they can move on.  There’s no need for anymore…unpleasantness. Abby’s unpleasant for a while, anyway, and she hopes Kelly will run from the next emotionally unavailable man, quick, like a bunny.  She leaves, and Kelly just laughs it off.  I  mean, it’s Abby.  She gets a text.  It must be FROM JACK, as she gasps with joy and clutches her phone to her chest!  Think she would have learned from the last one.  Guess she’s gone learn TODAY!  She hears Phyllis and Lily talking, and hides around the corner. 

 

For Pete’s sake, Phyllis’ dress is almost completely BACKLESS, for a balmy January morning in Wisconsin.  She’s explaining to Lily how her first choice was to whisk Jack away to an island for a romantic getaway, but his schedule just won’t allow it.  Who has time for a vacation after your fiancée wakes up from a coma?  So, the next best thing is a little “us” time at the hotel, instead of the mansion they live in.   Hey, why not a booth at The Underground??  I hear it’s just like Aspen this time of year.  Kelly listens sadly while Phyllis says she wants to book a suite right away.  Doesn’t this hotel have a front desk?  Gosh, Lily thinks it’s really short notice.  Phyllis says she has VIP suites in reserve, doesn’t she?  I guess those are rooms you don’t book unless someone wants to book them?  I think the reserve suites are for when Lily and Cane don’t feel like doing it on her desk. 

 

Lily’s not suuure, she’ll have to check.  Okay, Phyllis gets it…she’s Team Kelly.  Lily tries to say it’s none of her business, ha.  It’s just that Kelly is her co-worker AND her friend.  Phyllis really does understand…”But I am back, and I am awake.  Jack and I have made it to the other side and he has made his choice, and I want him to know that HE is my choice, too.”  Lily understands, so please don’t take it personally when there aren’t any suites available.  Phyllis says Lily knows what it’s like to be in fear of losing everything and dying, “so when you survive, you grab life and swallow it whole.”  Like a snake.  THAT is how she feels every second of every day.  And she doesn’t want to waste any time feeling guilty about being in love with Jack!  Lily reluctantly agrees to see what she has available.  Kelly walks by the door and catches her eye, before mopily walking away.  Ugh, Lily feels even more crappy now.  Phyllis says the way things have been going, she really needs this day to come off without a hitch.

 

Stitch says he is NOT being played.  Blah blah.  “Oh, so Victoria’s just so devoted to you that she’s not going to do her father’s bidding?  Really??”  Stitch doesn’t like her tone!  That’s because he hasn’t seen Victoria in action!  Working side by side with her old man.  “Isn’t she already back at work?!  The woman just had a baby!”  Wow, Ashley.  Stitch says it’s because she ENJOYS it!  And she has a NURSE!  Like it’s 19th century England!  “She LIVES for it!  I get that!  I came back to Genoa City so I could be CEO of Jabot!!”  Um, I thought that was CO-CEO?  Ashley thinks it’s simple, really.  “I don’t know how simple any of this is anymore,” says Stitch.  Ashley calms down a bit, and says that Victor wants something SHE has.  It’s not just a game-changer, it’s a life-changer.  It could put her in charge of her father’s company, not co in charge, either.  OR it could get her sued to the ends of the earth. 

 

Stitch looks at her like, sounds like a “you problem.”  Okay, so she’s territorial about her work there, DAMN RIGHT, she is.  But that’s the only thing she’s territorial about, just so they’re clear.  Sure.  Stitch is all embarrassed now, golly, gee, he thought that was all about him.  Ashley manipulates him some more and says she’s sure he’s had women fight over him in his life, just not this time!  Aw shucks.  “And for the record, if there’s anyone who doesn’t need to use this perfume…it’s you,” he says.  She laughs shyly, which is utter bullshit, and says everyone should get to use it if they want to, so they better get back to work.  The people await. 

 

Abby’s dressed like Mary Tyler Moore.  She runs into Jack in the club restaurant.  They discuss the messiness of the course of true love.  “I guess that’s what happens when you wake up from a coma, and you’re all like, ‘someone’s been eating my porridge and sleeping in my bed.’”  Jack smirks.  Blah blah.  In other news, guess who is Katie’s godfather?  Abby thinks that’s AMAZING!  Jack knows some people [Victor] think it’s an honorary title, but he takes it quite seriously!  Just like he does with Connor, observes Abby.  “It’s still crazy to think that Adam had the brass to ask you, knowing what he did to Delia.  And then for him to DIE, and then you had to step up.  It’s not exactly what you expected.”  Adam did have a lot of brass to die like that.  And Jack’s been so beleaguered with Connor’s care all this time. 

 

Jack says life rarely is what you expected.  But he’s hoping Billy and Victoria live long and happy lives with all of their children.  As in, TOGETHER?  Jack grimaces, he didn’t mean that.  Blah blah Billy and Victoria Belong Together!  Billy and Chelsea, and Victoria and Ben, just BLECH!  Victoria walks up, ha.  She’s been looking for Abby!   She wants to ask her to be Katie’s godmother.  Abby laughs in her face, and then realizes she’s serious.  Meanwhile Jack gets a note from a servant.  “The woman you love has a surprise waiting for you.  See the desk clerk for key to room #702.” 

 

Ashley thinks chemistry is magical.  Isn’t that how Stitch feels about medicine?  Blah blah, he’s focused on this project.  Ashley says, “I know you’re invested in this project.  But I also know that you’re invested in your relationship with Victoria.  It concerns me a little bit, that the latter is going to affect the former.”  Ashley, always so appropriate at work.  Hey, she has Stitch’s word that what he has with Victoria won’t get in the way of what she wants.  Kelly drops by!  The show added a buzzer to get in the lab.  Lol  Ashley leaves them to talk. 

 

So guess what’s up?  MOM called.  And she’s a mess, Ben.  He’s like, omg, is she sick??  Considering she ran away from the hospital after open heart surgery, you’d think so, but it turns out she wants to come forward and confess!  But not yet, of course.  Stitch freaks out.  That could mean obstruction charges at the least, murder at the most, prison…”I don’t want that for her, Kell.  I never did.”  “She took Dad’s life, and then watched as you gave up yours.  I can’t forgive her, Ben!  And you can’t sacrifice one more minute of your life for her sake!  It’s not RIGHT to protect people that are selfish!”  Stitch pleads with her that he’s so close to having the life he thought he couldn’t.  She’s like yeah, that’s HOPE, we deserve that!  She gets kind of teary eyed, and he puts his hand on her shoulder.  He’s worried about you, Kell.  Oh, please, she’s FINE.  Everything’s going to work out great for both of them!  He’ll see!  She leaves.  Stitch worries.

 

Phyllis comes back to Lily’s office to tell her the suite is perfect.  She thanks her for helping out despite the friends thing with Kelly.  Lily is down, but she apologizes for not being a professional about it the first time.  Phyllis understands, nobody wishes heartbreak on a friend, but shit just happens.  Lily says she already knew Kelly would get hurt when Phyllis came back, obviously Jack would want their relationship back.  She even argued with Devon about it.  She knew what Jack wanted wasn’t even up for debate.  “Kelly was your friend, but you knew Jack would choose me anyway?” Phyllis asks softly. 

 

Lily knows what true love looks like, and she knows that’s what she and Jack have, even if it IS with awful Phyllis.  “But Kelly has been through a LOT the past few years, and Jack made her very happy.  And now she has to start all over.  I’m not saying this is your problem—“  Hey, Phyllis is not completely heartless.  “Good, then maybe you can stop punishing her,” says Lily.  Phyllis says NYE was KELLY getting all the shots.  AND--  Lily’s like, okay, we really don’t have to go back and forth on who did what to who.  Phyllis decides to leave well enough alone.  And she’s off to complete her very romantic plan.  Lily rolls her eyes.

 

Jack finds the servant so he can ask him about this note.  Of course, and here are two champagne flutes for him, too.  His sparkling cider is waiting in his suite.  “In 702?” asks Jack.  “I just wanted to confirm that it WAS my fiancée, Phyllis Newman, who set this up?”  Jack’s a quick learner.  Exactly, says the servant, handing him the room key.  “But it’s suite 802.”  Hmm, well, the note says it’s 702.  Well, it must be some confusion due to the short notice, he says, and now he has to answer the phone.  The front desk is also the bar, I guess. 

 

Gwen comes twinkling over to say hi to Neil.  He invites her to sit down and join him.  Meanwhile, Hilary’s going off on Devon in the lobby.  “I had to stand there, and SMILE, while Gwen goes on and on.  You say that I’m the only woman that you want, and then you take her to bed.  Oh, and not just once!”  Devon whines.  “What am I supposed to do, just sit back and wait for you and Neil to give me a little baby brother or sister.”  WAAAH.  It’s cool, Devon, you can get a t-shirt that says “I’M THE BIG BROTHER.”  Hilary’s like, are you some kind of idiot??  “I’m NOT pregnant!” she says furiously.  But she’s trying to get pregnant, waaah!  His evidence?  “Neil told Lily.”  Now Phyllis knows, he told Devon, too.  “I know!” says Hilary, “It’s just one lie after another, and I’m not sure how many more lies I can take!”  Devon’s like wait, whaaat?  Lily comes down behind them.  “Hilary, you have NO IDEA the position you just put me in,” she complains.  Hilary and Devon get shifty eyes!

 

Jack heads up to suite 802.  He opens the door to find rose petals on the bed, and candles and sparkling cider.  Someone’s in the shower.  He finds a note that says “My love, my lover, take off your clothes and put on the blindfold.”  Jack’s like, this is gonna be great!! 

 

Abby tells Victoria that she’s not the kind of person people trust with their child.  “Are you kidding me?  I trusted you to be my birthing coach.”  Yeah, that’s like one day.  “But that was when she was inside of you, safe, where I couldn’t drop her or be a bad role model.  I’m not really godmother material.”  I have rape fragrance in my purse.  “Because you won’t stand in a church and promise to love her and teach her to be a decent and loving person?”  It’s the other stuff that worries her.  Like actually doing it.  Uncle Jack is perfect for that kind of thing, Abby’s just good for lip color.  Vicky’s not taking no for an answer.  Abby is tough, and loyal, and fully and completely alive.  She embraces it all.  She’s exactly the role model she wants for Katherine.  Abby agrees, but can they not tell her about the naked heiress thing.  Duh!

 

Lily says having to help Phyllis and then look Kelly in the eye makes her feel two-faced.  Ohhh, then Hilary is really sorry.  She wasn’t thinking.  Lily says it’s fine, it was just the look on Kelly’s face that killed her.  “Do you think Jack should have chosen Kelly?” asks point-missing Devon.  Lily says it doesn’t MATTER who he chose.  The point is that two people in love with the same person is NOT going to end well.  Hilary looks sick.  She says she has more things to do for Phyllis, so could Lily tell Neil she’ll be a few minutes.  Lily says he looks occupied!  “Good job, Devon.  You picked a girl that Dad likes!”  Hilary tries not to vomit. 

 

Neil wants Gwen to be honest with him. He recently heard the tail end of a very intense conversation she had with Devon, and he thinks maybe this is the part where she tells him it’s none of his business.  No, it’s okay.  His son has been lying to him.  Wow, two days in a suite, and this chick is already making executive decisions.

 

Phyllis comes sweeping into suite 702!  SEVEN OH TWO.  OH EM GEE.  Obviously, Jack and Phyllis need a code word.  She has mimosas with umbrellas and no blindfold waiting.  She sets up her phone to play some music and starts getting ready.

 

Someone else is already ready.  Kelly comes out of the bathroom in suite 802, all dolled up in lingerie.  Remember that time she collapsed against the door of a club suite in her new lingerie, heaving sobs the last time Jack left her because of Phyllis.  I wonder if that’s going to happen again.  Jack’s lying blindfolded on the bed, and Kelly starts tickling him with a rose. 

 

Phyllis arranges herself on the bed in 802, in a slinky red nightgown and waits.

 

Kelly starts kissing Jack.  He knows lips.  He tears the blindfold off.  OMG!  He knew he should have trusted his gut instead of that desk clerk!  Kelly doesn’t understand…did she do something wrong?  This is what he wanted, she says.  HOW could she think that??  HOW MANY TIMES does he have to explain it to her??  Does she really think he would just cheat on his fiancée like that?  Kelly cries that this is sick!  He would bring her here just to break her heart?!  He’s like, whoa, what?  Kelly weeps and says she got HIS message to meet him there!  Jack’s like, holy shit!

 

Neil says wait, Devon is LYING to me?  Gwen recaps how horrible life is for billionaire Devon and  how all the evil models are just after him for his wallet.  No wonder he has TRUST ISSUES.  Neil doesn’t think Gwen is that kind of woman!  Because she’s not!  She has a job and a great life, and going out with Devon was just a favor for a friend.  She spills the beans about being Devon’s beard just so Neil wouldn’t worry about him.  Neil is frustrated.  Why would Devon lie about a fake girlfriend?  That’s her point, it’s all gloriously real now because sex!  Neil is thinking, and he doesn’t like what he thinks.

 

Clueless Devon who lies all day every day is confused about all this stuff about Hilary trying to get pregnant being some kind of lie!!  Hilary snaps that Neil is filled with all this disgusting hope for the future, and for him that means a baby.  So she made Neil think she went off her birth control pills.  It’s just one lie after another for her at home, and then HE goes off and SLEEPS WITH GWEN.  Devon whiiiines about Neil telling him she threw away her pills.  So, yeah, he went straight to Gwen’s ass, instead of just asking her about it like an adult(erer).  He thought she wanted a life with Neil instead of him.  WAAAAH.  So, um, he’s sorry. 

 

Hilary’s having a breakdown over what whiny Devon dragged her into in the first place.  “I’m the one that’s breaking my vows..and I’m the one that’s breaking everything with you, every time I go home to Neil.”  She blames HERSELF for everything, and says she needs to suffer, if that’s what it takes.  She’s NOT going to let Neil drink again…NOT because of her.  Again, these people need to go to two Al Anon meetings a day right now.  “You’re gonna end up hating me eventually,” says Devon, “and I can’t let that happen.”  Me me me me me.  Well, I hate you, Devon, but Hilary says NEVER.  Just talking to him and looking in his eyes, and hearing his crybaby voice, God help her, it makes it all worth it.  Gross.  Devon whines that he wants to run away with her, just for a while.  Not for sex, okay, he already had sex with Gwen for two days, so he just wants to be alone and TALK.  Can they pleaaaase do that? 

 

Stitch and Ashley have the concentration levels they’ve been looking for!  It’s a MIRACLE!  HIGH FIVE!  Down low!  TOP GUN!  Ashley’s really proud of them, you guys.  They didn’t let That Night get in the way or ruin anything!  Then, they see Victoria peering through the glass doors like some creepy orphan.

 

Stitch buzzes her in.  Wow, that’s some high tech lock, she says.  She knows she’s in enemy territory but she’s not there to steal a sample or plant a bug.  Stitch knows what she came for, this glove in his pocket.  She dropped it when she left.  Likely story.  “Lucky you, Ben’s got you covered,” snipes Ashley.  “He sure does,” says Vicky.  She’s just scattered since she had the baby.  He offers to walk her out.  “Scattered, my ass,” mutters Ashley.  “You know exactly what you’re doing.”   Glove dropper!

 

Devon hates to put any more pressure on Hilary with these demands.  No, Devon’s whiny demands are what keep her going!  Just the thought of one moment with him.  “I’ll find a way to meet you.”  Okay, like he said, just to talk.  He’s not super human.  “There is no one else in this world I want more than you, Hilary.  And there never will be.”  There’s someone I want less than you, though, and I was shacked up with her for 48 hours.  Hilary does dream of having a baby, Devon, but the father she always pictures is billionaire you.

 

Gwen tells Neil it’s clear he loves his family, and if she’s overstepped--  Neil says nothing is more valuable than honesty, and he appreciates that.  And that she cares for his son.  All he wants for Devon is happiness and stability, and all that falls into place once you’ve found the right person.  Thanks for the talk.  Well, Gwen has to get off to work now, without telling Devon she spilled his bizness!  Bye, Gwen!  Hilary unwisely left her purse on the table, and her phone starts ringing.  Blind Neil will answer it for you, Hilary!  He gropes around in her bag, and GASP!  He finds her pill pack!  He frowns and uses his amazing Blind Guy Senses to rustle and bend the foil.  This isn’t a phone!!  It’s a pack of gum!

 

Kelly wraps her robe around her and whines and cries about how he invited her, he arranged all this, WHY, JACK, WHY?!  Does he just want to HUMILIATE HER?  He’s like, don’t act all innocent on me now, while throwing his clothes on.  She’s like, but the ROSES, Jack, the ROSES ON THE BED. “Those were OUR thing, that’s how you charmed me!  Who knew about The Roses?!”  Jack’s like, obviously YOU.  And roses are the least original idea on EARTH.  But she didn’t do this!  WHY would she do this, just so he could REJECT HER!  Hmm, that confuses him.  If Jack didn’t do this, fine, but please believe her when she says SHE didn’t do it either!  Jack’s flummoxed and  half dressed, and then PHYLLIS bursts in the door.  “Oh, HELL no.”

[movinon]

 

It must be FROM JACK, as she gasps with joy and clutches her phone to her chest!  Think she would have learned from the last one.  Guess she’s gone learn TODAY!

Personally, I don't think she's ever going to learn, Peach.  He tells her over and over and she must have cotton in her ears - she told Lily a love like they had never dies.  While I am amused by the confusion over who the guilty party is, I think putting them in the same place constantly is a little stupid.  Other than that, the story is interesting, for once, and I hope it plays out a little longer.  Thanks for the recap - we have a few more to enjoy this week, I hope.

 

Edited to say I also LOVE the Winters sandwich remark. 

Edited January 19, 2015 by movinon

[miamama]

Then, they see Victoria peering through the glass doors like some creepy orphan.

 

lol. This is really funny.

[MollyB]

 

Lily Winters Business Collection

I guess Crotch Breather Collection would be a bad marketing strategy.

Edited January 19, 2015 by MollyB

[ByTor]

Mon, Jan 12    The Juliet Incident

 

Nikki’s staying in the guest room.  Whatever.  Blah blah, you’re attacking my knucklehead son.  “JUST because you and your son see it that way, doesn’t make it so!”  “Do you not remember how HARD I tried to accept Adam.”  Wow, horrible example. 

Yeah, she couldn't have come up with a worse example if she tried.

[NinjaPenguins]

 

Wtf is wrong with this family?

Congenital nosiness, advanced swelling of the misogyny gland, cranio-rectal inversion, and specific to Neil, invasive stage four jiveosis. Disclaimer: I am not a doctor nor do I play one on TV.

 

 

the ROSES, Jack, the ROSES ON THE BED. “Those were OUR thing, that’s how you charmed me!  Who knew about The Roses?!”

Just like Delia! Oh my god, Delia's ghost is gaslighting both Phyllis and Kelly to protect Uncle Jack!

[Sake614]

I guess my hearing is bad because I could've sworn Nikki said she struggled to accept ABBY, not Adam. And while I dont know the history, I think that would've made more sense, especially since not even Victor tried to accept Adam!

[miamama]

Just like Delia! Oh my god, Delia's ghost is gaslighting both Phyllis and Kelly to protect Uncle Jack!

But were they English Tea Roses??? ;)

[movinon]

I guess my hearing is bad because I could've sworn Nikki said she struggled to accept ABBY, not Adam. And while I dont know the history, I think that would've made more sense, especially since not even Victor tried to accept Adam!

In the transcripts at http://tvmegasite.net/transcripts/yr/older/2015/yr-trans-01-08-15.shtml - Nikki does say "I welcomed Abby into the family" - I'm not sure that those were the words Nikki spoke on the show, but this was the original transcript.  I thought that's what I heard too, but everyone else seemed to hear Adam. It's a little over 3/4 down the page and it's the Jan. 8 episode.  I must say, she's not a great example either, and both Abby and Adam would have been hard for me to accept.  At least, Adam wasn't there because of stolen sperm (still hard to believe anyone would want it) - Victor was married to Hope, 

[peach]

In the transcripts at http://tvmegasite.net/transcripts/yr/older/2015/yr-trans-01-08-15.shtml - Nikki does say "I welcomed Abby into the family" - I'm not sure that those were the words Nikki spoke on the show, but this was the original transcript.  I thought that's what I heard too, but everyone else seemed to hear Adam. It's a little over 3/4 down the page and it's the Jan. 8 episode.  I must say, she's not a great example either, and both Abby and Adam would have been hard for me to accept.  At least, Adam wasn't there because of stolen sperm (still hard to believe anyone would want it) - Victor was married to Hope, 

There was an earlier episode where she brings up accepting Abby, and then in this episode she definitely said Adam.  Maybe she was supposed to say Abby, which would make more sense, and just mistakenly said Adam.  Close enough for government work, I say.

 

Edited to add that if you read the Jan 8 recap, she says Abby, as I faithfully recorded.  lol  This was Jan 12 when she said Adam.

Edited January 19, 2015 by peach

[Foghorn Leghorn]

They both start with "A!"  LOL  Jack flubbed a name a while back too.  Guess it is not worth filming again.  

[movinon]

There was an earlier episode where she brings up accepting Abby, and then in this episode she definitely said Adam.  Maybe she was supposed to say Abby, which would make more sense, and just mistakenly said Adam.  Close enough for government work, I say.

 

Edited to add that if you read the Jan 8 recap, she says Abby, as I faithfully recorded.  lol  This was Jan 12 when she said Adam.

Can't believe I went to all that trouble for nothing - it just didn't make sense to me.  Like you said - bad example, since nobody ever accepted Adam.  lol  I'm gonna take your word for it, because I'm too lazy to look it up again.  Everybody but Sake and me heard Adam, so I will continue to be confused - imagine that.....

[Sake614]

movinon, I appreciate you looking up the transcript, and it's nice to have company even if we both heard wrong lol!

[peach]

Wed, Jan 14    Lily Has A Hard Day

 

Lily is having the worst day, you guys.  Her pen won’t write!  Omg, I hate that.  She flings it at the door and almost hits Cane!  He gets her to open up about all the tragedy in her life, such as there being icky protesters at the cocktail party, everybody finding out a rich, powerful man is selling the warehouse property, people are making and canceling Valentine’s Day reservations, and on TOP OF IT ALL, she’s trying to help Kelly navigate her life post-Jack.  IT’S ALL TOO MUCH!  This earns her a shoulder massage from loving Cane.  At least everything is going GREAT with the family, she says, and she doesn’t have to worry about THAT.  Cane grimaces.

 

Hilary assures Devon that she’s NOT trying to get preggers with Neil.  Well, he knows that NOW, but he didn’t when Neil told him she threw away her pills, forcing him to have a two day sex party with Gwen.  Hilary explains she just threw away the package, so old, blind Neil would THINK she threw them away.  “If I ever had a baby, I’d want it to be yours,” she moons.  Billionaire child support is the best.  Devon says he never should have doubted her.  She laments doing the same thing when she saw him run upstairs with Gwen.  She thought he was moving on, instead of just having fraternity party revenge sex. 

 

See, this is exactly what Devon was AFRAID was going to happen.  Two cheaters losing their love and trust in each other in 30 seconds flat, and they CAN’T let that happen!  That’s why they need to get out of town for a few days so they can just talk to each other.  He heard about the new Cezanne hotel Chicago where they can go.  Someone probably tore down a coffee house to build it.  Hilary’s like, omg, a few days??  That seems kind of…impossible.  Hilary, please, Devon just really needs to be alone with you.  Waaaah.  Hilary looks like she really can’t get out of babysitting.  “I hate the thought of lying to Neil, and I hate the thought of losing you…even more,” she says.

 

Hilary goes back to the table and notices Neil’s not happy.  “You don’t want to have a baby,” he says.  She’s like, whaaat, Neil, we talked about this.  Yes, they did.  “We both agreed that you throw away your birth control pills.”  She’s like, yeaaah, and I did.  “So what are they doing still in your bag?” he asks, holding them up in front of God and everybody.  Hilary’s like, d’ohhhhh.  You can’t fool Blind Neil, Hilary!!

 

Joe Superman is meeting with Victor at the ranch.  Victor gets off the phone with the mayor.  He is displeased.  “The sale of the warehouse district has been put on hold, pending a community impact study,” he says, glaring at Joe. Joe must have some sort of death wish, because he says out loud that he’s really gotta hand it to Avery, Victor, she still has it when it comes to outsmarting her opponent.   Yeah, let’s hand it to Avery.  “It’s just too bad she’s using her talent to help her boyfriend save that rundown coffee house of his.”  Guess what, Joe, Victor doesn’t want to sleep with Avery, so he’s not as impressed.  “You know I don’t giveadamn about your personal feud with McAvoy, K?  This is a business deal, and now we’re on the losing end of it.  And I don’t like that,” he growls. 

 

Avery gets the same phone call under the big, red SAVE CRIMSON LIGHTS banner.  “We did it!” she gushes to Dylan.  The sale is on hold!  Okay, pending a community impact study, but once the city finds out the impact on 17 spoiled idiots that like muffins, it should all be over!  They hug and kiss.

 

If that wasn’t gross enough, we’re treated to some sexual innuendo between Austin and Summer at the gym, while she does crunches and kisses him each time.  Since Summer completed 50 of them, she thinks this means maybe she should become a personal trainer.  She’s so good at all the things! Austin sure doesn’t like the idea of her getting all hot and sweaty with male clients!  She admits she’s actually looking forward to going to school again. Summer makes Austin SO inspired!  He still refuses to get a job handed to him at Jabot, because he’s dumb, but he finally got an offer to shoot a commercial!  He doesn’t have the details, but his new boss says it will be something really good for Genoa City!  “Good job!” smiles Summer.  Oh, noes, Austin will have to film a commercial for the awesome new redevelopment project.  OH, THE HUMANITY!

 

Jack hastily stuffs his shirt in his pants and tries to ward off a nuclear missile.  “Phyllis, this is NOT what it looks like!”  Really, because it looks like Jack and Kelly were just rubbing up against each other!  Hey, he got a note from someone planning a romantic surprise for him, and he assumed that someone was PHYLLIS.  “She tricked you,” says Phyllis.  No, no, no, says Kelly.  She got a message from Jack to meet HIM here!  “Which *I* never sent,” declares Jack.  Kelly goes on and on about the damn RED ROSES™.  Who else knew a Red Rose™ was “their thing??”  Jack grabs the note telling him to put on a blindfold, didn’t that throw Kelly a bit?  Oh, THAT wasn’t there when she came in!  Someone must have snuck in and put it there while she went in the bathroom to get ready!  Phyllis has had enough of this crazy bullshit.  “Get ready for this, bitch,” she says, slamming the door.

 

Kelly screams dramatically, while Phyllis grabs some Red Roses™ in a vase and hurls them at her.  Alas, she misses.  Jack holds Phyllis back while she yells, “You know what, that SLUT lured you here pretending to be me!”  Kelly shouts that the last person she’d ever want to be on this PLANET, is HER!  Phyllis thinks it’s a joke that she’d even try, but that’s EXACTLY WHAT SHE DID!  Kelly’s like, oh, did I send myself all these flowers, too?  Uh, yeah.  Jack says Phyllis does have a point. 

 

“Jack, WAKE UP!  This is classic Phyllis!  The vindictive, manipulative person everyone warned me about!  SHE did this just to humiliate me AGAIN!”  Phyllis is like, EXCUSE ME!  Kelly is the one who humiliated HER by wearing the same dress, and making sure she ran out of gas so she’d look like roadkill by the time she got to the athletic club!!  “You are PARANOID!” shouts the woman who just accused Phyllis of setting up her Red Rose™ tryst.  Jack is seriously physically restraining Phyllis now, who’s SCREAMING, “YOU ARE PATHOLOGICAL!!!”  “Says the woman who used YOUR phone to get me to come to your office so she could shove her engagement ring in my face one more time!!  You know she did that, Jack!” 

 

Jack asks Kelly why Phyllis would order ONLY Red Roses™?  Kelly holds her head crazily and thinks.  Wait, she’s got it!  The first Red Rose™ he ever gave her, she pressed it and left it in a book in HIS house.  Phyllis must have found it!  Well, that’s a lie.  We saw her maudlin disposal of that rose in the office trash.  But if Jack goes home, maybe he’ll find it!!  “YOU ARE A PSYCHO, STALKING NUTJOB WHO PUT IT THERE!” shouts Phyllis.  Jack doesn’t know what’s going on, but he’s going to get to the bottom of this!  That’s great, because Phyllis is going to help him!  “Let’s go, Jack,” she says, running out with him, while Kelly weeps because her slumber party just got ruined by the mean girl.

 

Lily tells Cane how blessed they are.  The family is so happy.  She was really worried about Neil for a while, but now she’s actually glad he has Hilary in his life.  And Devon’s met someone great, and soon she might be planning a wedding/baby shower!  She could throw it at the club, and make a whole theme, and--  Cane says she has enough REAL work to do rather than fantasize about this crap, that [will never ever]might not happen.  “Well, it could happen,” cutie pouts Lily.   They talk about him leaving for the corporate world, and she just wants him to be happy.  Just don’t turn into someone like JOE.  “OR get caught up with someone like Victor,” that a few months ago, he wanted to work for.

 

Avery and Dylan make out in Crimson Lights, and he wants to go home for more, but she has a spin class, okay?  Skip THAT, he’s been so caught up in Saving Crimson Lights, that he wants to give her the attention she deserves.  Her idea of deserved attention isn’t canceling all her plans, so she’ll make it worth his wait when she gets home tonight.  Does this mean Joe is finally going to the gym again, show?  I think you owe us that much.

 

Victor tells Joe he was supposed to complete the purchase of the warehouse district before anyone found out he owned it.  Hey, too bad, so sad.  Joe says he underestimated McAvoy.  “No kidding,” snarks Victor.  Joe’s not worried, they still have most of the city council on their side, and he’s confident they’ll get the rest.  “I don’t have the time to wait for that,” says Victor.  Joe says McAvoy won’t back down.  Well, McAvoy’s not his problem anymore, because Victor will take care of him.  “How?” asks Joe.  “That’s none of your business, son.”  It involves sharks with laser beams on their heads, and if he tells you about it, he’ll have to kill you, too.

 

Neil’s still waving Hilary’s pills around the club.  “You went through my bag?” asks Hilary.  Well, yeah, he had to go through your bag, because he was answering your phone.  Duh.  So why are the pills still there?  Hilary says she always keeps an extra pack in her purse in case she forgets to take it in the morning.  She’s sorry, geez, she’ll throw them out!  He thinks there’s more going on, he can hear it in her voice.  If she’s not ready to have a baby, it’s okay.  She says it’s just the timing…with everything going on.  Like Neil’s blindness, having sex with Devon, etc.  She’s sorry. 

 

“You have nothing to apologize for, I’M sorry I pushed you,”  says Neil kindly.  He’s just been feeling SO HOPEFUL, you know, like anything was possible!  Hilary squirms.  But just because he felt ready for a family, doesn’t mean she did.  Hilary apologizes, she should have said something.  Yes, she should have.  She’s just been stressed out lately with work, and their relationship. You know what Neil thinks she needs…a break.  Gosh, she’s kinda been thinking of that, too.  He suggests the sunny beaches of Florida, or skiing in Vermont?  TAKE THE SUNNY BEACH!  No, Hilary wants the spa prize package in Chicago.  Neil gives her a big smile!  “Now’s your chance!”  Oof, how does she sleep at night?

 

Discreet Devon is in the lobby, booking the Cezanne hotel for two.

 

Summer has some kind of décolletage makeup on.  Blend, people, blend.  She teases Austin that he’s chicken to do spin class.  No, he has to go home and make sure his camera works before he meets his boss.  And there he is now, walking in the gym!  “Joe Clark is your boss?” snips Summer.  Uh, yeah, does she know him?  “That’s my Aunt Avery’s ex-husband.  He’s the guy that’s trying to shut down Crimson Lights.”  MORAL DILEMMA!!   Austin says he didn’t say anything about that!  Right, hi, I need a camera man so I CAN SHUT DOWN CRIMSON LIGHTS.  “Well, that’s what he’s doing here.”  Great, well, see you after spin class.

 

Austin greets Joe, who asks him if they’re still on for the commercial.  Gosh, that’s what he needs to talk to him about.  “I have a problem.”  My wife is a whiny, spoiled brat.  Austin didn’t realize the commercial was to persuade people to tear down Crimson Lights.  That doesn’t meet desperate, convicted felon Austin’s artistic and moral standards. 

 

Avery shows up to meet Summer.  She’s sorry she’s late, but she got some really good news!  Summer pouts that at least someone did.  Austin finally got a production job, but…it’s his new boss.  Avery glances over and sees Joe.  OHHH, NOOOO!

 

Dylan sits at a table doing paperwork.  He’s trying to carry the one, but is disturbed by the shadow of Victor Newman falling over him.  He’s not there for the coffee, is he?  “No, I’m not,” says Victor.  Dylan guesses he heard about the impact study.  “I’m surprised you didn’t send Joe Clark over here.  He’s been doing all your dirty work for ya.”  Victor says Dylan and Avery have proven to be rather [irritating] worthy adversaries.  Dylan doubts that’s a compliment.  “You take it any way you want, K?  I’m here to talk business to you.”  Right, complains Dylan, because that’s all this is to Victor.  Dastardly BUSINESS.  “I’m making you an offer,” says Victor, throwing a folded paper at him.  I’m sure Super Dylan’s much too noble to take lots of money to open a new coffee shop.  That would just be WRONG.

 

Phyllis takes Jack in suite 702, and shows him all the tropical flowers and umbrella drinks, and sadly explains THIS is the surprise she set up for him.  She asked Hilary to clear his schedule so they could to the tropics, but because of the rape fragrance and Chelsea’s damn fashion line, he couldn’t get away.  Presumably, the HEAD OF THE FASHION DEPARTMENT couldn’t either.  So this was the best she could do.  Jack’s like, okay, so YOU gave me the note to come to 702.  So why did she give him a key to 802?  She didn’t!  “So you’re saying Kelly did?”  DUH.  “She switched them!  Who else would want me to walk in on the two of you?” 

 

Jack still wonders how she thought Phyllis would catch them.  OBVIOUSLY, she figured Phyllis would call the front desk/bar and ask about Jack, who would tell her he went to 802, WHICH HE DID.  “But what if you hadn’t called?”  Gosh, men are dumb.  If she HADN’T called, Kelly would have Jack all to herself.  It was win-win.  Jack still doesn’t get it, Kelly KNOWS he loves Phyllis!  “But she cannot and WILL NOT accept it!” cries Phyllis.  “What would be her goal?” asks Jack, after 30 years on this show.  She’s trying to turn him AGAINST Phyllis!  Like when she pretended Phyllis slapped her!  “She is trying to convince you I will go to (air quote) ‘insane lengths’ to protect what’s mine!”  Jack chides that she did use his cell phone to lure Kelly to his office.  “She’s doing it,” says Phyllis tearfully, “and you promised me she wouldn’t!  She is turning you against me, Jack.”

 

Kelly doubles down and tells Lily this whole fake story.  Kelly heard all the stories about what a terrible person Phyllis is, but she didn’t expect her to go all Fatal Attraction on her!  Lily scoffs, it’s not like she’s boiling bunnies.  “She’s messing with people’s heads!  Mine and Jack’s!”  She reiterates that Phyllis sent everyone fake messages to get them in that suite together.  Lily isn’t quite buying it.  Why would Phyllis do that?  She already set up the whole morning to meet him in her own suite, “but then again, Kelly, you KNEW that.” Well, okay. She did see Phyllis meeting with Lily and planning the romantic meetup.  “Then why would you got and meet him?” scolds Lily.  Because she got a text message from him!  Or so she thought.  He was asking HER to meet him in the other suite!  Doesn’t Lily understand what happened here??  Blah evil plot blah. 

 

Lily sighs, this doesn’t sound very believable, and she left her tin foil at home today.  Kelly insists that LILY SAID that Phyllis is capable of taking cruel and vindictive to the extreme!  Hmm, well which one of you works in that hotel?  And why are you telling your boss you left your job for a rendezvous?  I guess that’s SOP around there, though.  Lily’s like…maaaybe.  Kelly says that having Jack will never be enough for Phyllis!  She gets weepy and says Phyllis is trying to destroy her, because she knows the kind of True Love that Kelly and Jack have…never dies.  Lily has serious doubt in her eyes.  Because we all know that Gutter Love is what never dies.  Not even with penicillin.

 

Jack sits and holds Phyllis’ hands.  He says love is a funny thing, you can’t see it or touch it, you can’t even lock it up in the attic.  “But when two people share it, it is strong, it is powerful,” he whispers, “And if one of them doesn’t screw it up, it’s FOREVER.”  LOL, that’s Nick’s kind of unconditional forever love.  “Please, don’t screw this up,” says Jack.  He insists Kelly does not have the power to come between them.  Only Phyllis does!  So let go of this vendetta against Kelly.  Poor Phyllis sits with tears in her eyes.  So that’s it, they just let go of that stunt Kelly just pulled?  “Kelly claims she hasn’t done anything,” says Jack carefully.  Wait, he believes KELLY over HER?  Jack says maybe someone ELSE is playing some crazy joke on them.  That’s the ONLY answer he has…if it isn’t someone else, then---  “Then it has to me me or Kelly,” she says.  Pretty much.  “Well, which one of us do you think it is, Jack?”  she challenges.  He flaps.

 

Neil goes to the eye doctor.  He has a flashback to foolishly frying himself with the crappy electrical box, then realizing he can’t see in the hospital, so we can all remember why he’s blind again.

 

Avery and Summer stretch out and show us their cleavage.  Summer asks what old Uncle Joe thinks he can gain by hiring Austin??  Maybe a camera man?  Avery says Joe’s not an easy guy to figure out.  Poor Summer was so excited about this opportunity, because she’s anxious for Austin to get out of The Underground so he can finally have a fulfilling career in his chosen field.  Just kidding, she wants to get him away from Mariah.   Trust Fund Summer says since no one ever taught Mariah social etiquette, she seems to think a wedding ring means Austin’s still available.  Avery hopes Austin set her straight!  Of course, but Summer really needs Austin to take this job to get him away from her.  So fuck Crimson Lights, Aunt Avery.  Hope you’re not mad. 

 

Look, Avery’s not going to tell Austin what to do, and her advice to Summer is not to, either.  Summer manages to choke out that she knows it’s Austin’s life.  Speaking of life, Phyllis told Avery she’s going back to college!  That makes her super happy.  And when Summer figures out what her dreams are, don’t let anyone stop her from going after them.  Because that’s a real problem for Summer.

 

Victor thinks that’s a hell of an offer, Dylan.  He agrees it’s pretty lucrative, but Super Dylan is above all that.  “You think you can buy me?” asks Super Dylan.  “I’m reaching out to my wife’s son, because your happiness seems to mean a lot to her,” for some reason.  “Not to you,” pouts Dylan.  “I don’t give a DAMN about your happiness,” admits Victor, “not after that disrespectful display at the athletic club, alright?  I’m making a business proposition.”  Dylan is super pissed that Victor doesn’t giveadamn about his happiness. 

 

Victor tries to explain that with money, he can relocate his stupid coffee shop anywhere in this town.  Maybe Dylan could BUY a place, instead of leasing, but, he likes it right where he is.  “Oh, yeah,” says Victor, “you could launch a franchise with that, you know…if you had the passion, and the drive, and the intelligence.”  Well, that answers that question. “The impact study has you worried,” says Dylan, “I think I’ll pass.”  Victor takes his written offer back.  “You’re a fool,” he says matter-of-factly.  Well, Dylan thinks the tide is turning in his direction.  Victor smiles.  “I’ve been in business a long time.  Sometimes these transactions and lawsuits take a long time.  Some people could get hurt…including your friend, Avery.”  Uh-oh.  Super Dylan stands up.  “That’s how this works?  I refuse to take your payoff, and you threaten my fiancée?”  Victor smirks.  It oughta be easy to get Super Dylan to blow.

 

Victor’s not threatening anyone, K?  So, when he says things could go badly for Avery, that was just an observation?  Well, Avery has her good reputation to think of.  “And you think she’s wasting her time representing me and other small businesses, even though we stopped the sale of your property?”  Victor’s just sayin’ things don’t always turn out like you expect.  Dylan agrees.  Victor’s offer still stands, and so does Dylan’s refusal.  “I hope you don’t live to regret your decision.  Youhaveaniceday.  Hope you sell a lot of coffees around here.”  He drops a rat out of his coat pocket when he leaves.  Just kidding, but I think that’s coming.  Maybe some radon gas.

 

Cane picks up Neil from his eye appointment.  He peppers Neil with questions about what the bits of light mean.  Neil tries to pooh pooh all of it, but finally admits seeing the bits light might mean his sight is coming back!  He grins.

 

Devon sits down with Hilary.  She tells him how Neil thinks it’s such a great idea that she gets away for a while.  Devon thinks that’s great,  but she guiltily holds her head in her hands.  She wants to be with him, but this is too complicated.  Devon thinks it’s simple.  Selfishness is always super simple.  A servant brings him a gift bag that someone left at the desk. It’s massage oil.  “This is nice!” says Devon, “Did you get this for me??”  Umm, NO.  Gosh, whoever could it be?  He reads the card OUT LOUD.  “Can’t wait to try this with you.  Let me know when.  ~Gwen.”  Duh.  Devon realizes this might be a tiny bit complicated.

 

Jack and Phyllis come stomping down the stairs.  He just wants to get their coats and GO HOME.  Not until Phyllis PROVES that she is telling the truth!  Lily walks up.  She is SO sorry about the misunderstanding with the room!  Kelly comes schlepping along, too.  “There were NO misunderstandings.  Your employee used her position to arrange for me to find my fiancé in bed with her.”  Kelly says Phyllis KNEW she worked here.  She could have chosen anyplace to have her romantic encounter, yet she chose HERE.  WHY?  Unless it was to set her up!  “Nobody is buying this victim act of yours,” says Phyllis.  Kelly’s like, NYE, luring her to Jack’s office, and now this?  “You just keep finding ways to humiliate me.”  Phyllis says, “YOU are a pathetic liar!”  She is not going to let her get away with this.  Lily has to take a call when the front desk/bar clerk walks by.  Hey, you, who told Jack to go to suite 802??  Kelly says, it’s okay, Matt, we all want to hear the answer.

 

Cane cannot WAIT to tell Lily about Neil’s good news!  NO, Neil doesn’t want ANYONE TO KNOW.  He clutches Cane’s collar and reminds him he PROMISED NEIL he wouldn’t say a word!  Cane’s like, hey, Lily and Hilary are super worried, and they should share any glimmer of hope with them!  Neil says this process has been really rough on Hilary, and he doesn’t want to get her hopes up.

 

Hilary says it’s not just Neil they’re hurting, now GWEN has fallen for him.  Well, Devon doesn’t give a shit about his own disabled father, why would he care about Gwen?  User Devon will just tell her he’s done with her.  Boom, problem solved.  Hilary says that is NOT their biggest problem.  THAT is why Devon wants to spend a few days with her, so they can talk it out.  Do they have to go all the way to Chicago to do that?  “If I thought that spending money on that hotel was a bad idea, I wouldn’t have done it,” says Devon, because money is a real worry for him.  Nosy Lily overheard him, as usual.  “Please tell me you didn’t just say what I think you did!”

 

Kelly tells Front Desk Matt to tell them all the truth.  Well, some woman called and said give Jack the key to 802.  He doesn’t know who it was.  Phyllis thinks he’s covering for Kelly.  “How much did she pay you?”  Jack’s done with this, he starts trying to drag Phyllis out.  “She is not going to stop until she comes in between us!” cries Phyllis.  Jack says he is marrying HER, this ring is proof!  Kelly jumps in and says that ring on her finger is never going to stop Phyllis.  She won’t be happy til she’s destroyed Kelly!  She hands Jack an envelope.  “This card was in the room.  Call this number and it will prove what I’m saying is true!”  Well, that couldn’t possibly be fabricated.  Kelly runs away.  “This is insane,” says Phyllis.  She leaves to get her things.  Maybe stay out of this stupid club.

 

Austin sheepishly tells Summer and Avery that Joe just wanted to make a general ad for his real estate firm.  So he wouldn’t be doing anything that would hurt Dylan.  The womenfolk think he should do it.   Okay, well he has to get his equipment ready.  Summer will go with him, because she can’t let Austin out of her sight.  Avery adds, “Austin, on this job…try not to take any hostages.”  Wow, Aunt Avery still has some bite.  He doesn’t even know what to say, so they leave.

 

Avery struts over to confront Joe.  “Whattaya up to, Joe?  Why did you hire Austin?”  Joe thought the kid could use a break, and he figures he owes him.  If the cops hadn’t questioned Joe about stalking Avery, he wouldn’t have called her again.  So Austin was one handy stalker.  So, is Avery supposed to believe he offered her ex-stalker a job out of the goodness of his heart?  “Is that so hard to believe?” he asks.  She’s not sure you have a heart, Joe.  He’s like, wow.  “You really feel that way, don’t you?” 

 

What does he expect?!  “You come to town under false pretenses, you lure me to your hotel room with a lie, and you’re working for VICTOR trying to drive Dylan out of business!  Now you’re hiring Austin? What’s going on?”  If he wants to do battle with Avery, bring it, but leave Austin and Summer alone.  He’s like what’s it gonna take to convince her he’s not out to hurt anyone?  Maybe if he stopped working for Victor!  Focus on something worthy of his talent and ability!  He gets closer.  “Who’s to say that I’m not?”  She gulps and runs away.

 

Dylan’s on the phone crowing about how great this impact study is.  He turns around and GASP!!!  Two silly looking guys in black ski masks and jackets are standing there blankly.  Trick or treat?

 

Lily asks if Devon’s really regretting buying the hotel?!  Just tell her what it is and she’ll fix it!!  Of course not, it’s nothing like that.  He’s just cheating with Dad’s wife.  GOOD, because she couldn’t take any more hotel room mixups or psychotic assistants or plumbing issues. Wait, you just said you’d fix anything wrong with this place.  She keeps pressing Devon about his comments, but Hilary says she was just talking about going to this new spa in Chicago to get away from all her stress here. That sounds EXACTLY like what LILY needs!  OMG, she should go with Hilary!  Devon looks like he’s going to suddenly scream obscenities.

 

Phyllis meets Jack in the bar.  He angrily holds out the business card Kelly gave him.  It was from the florist.  He just called them, and they said SHE ordered the flowers.  Phyllis is like wtf?  Well, check your bank statement, because that was a shit ton of Red Roses™ and probably cost hundreds of dollars. 

 

Victor runs into Avery in the club lobby.  “Planning to vent your frustration about the warehouse district on a punching bag?” she chides.  He tells Avery her friend, Dylan, might see this as a fight, but as far as he’s con-cerned, it’s a simple business transaction.  As a lawyer, she understands that, doesn’t she?  Avery understands how he OPERATES.  “Then you understand whatever dealings we have with one another are strictly business, nothing personal.”  Funny, her ex-husband just said the same thing!  She flounces out. 

 

Joe looks at a photo of himself with Avery on his phone.  He ponders.

 

Look, Dylan doesn’t want any trouble with the masked guys.  “Then just open the cash register and step back!”  He does, but when the guy goes for the money, Super Dylan attacks him!  There’s a big fist fight, rebreaking tables and chairs.  Super Vet Dylan gives it his best, but alas, the day is lost.  He falls to the floor, and the thugs steal the money and run out!

[NinjaPenguins]

 

It involves sharks with laser beams on their heads, and if he tells you about it, he’ll have to kill you, too.

You just dropped some poetry on us, yo.

[movinon]

 

Wait, she’s got it!  The first Red Rose™ he ever gave her, she pressed it and left it in a book in HIS house.  Phyllis must have found it!  Well, that’s a lie.  We saw her maudlin disposal of that rose in the office trash.

Peach, you're amazing - how in the hell do you remember this stuff?  I do remember that now, but I didn't even think about it when Kelly said that.  This story is really holding my attention - something that hasn't happened in a long time.  Thanks again for doing these recaps - every day that we don't get one is a little less bright.

[Petunia13]

Excellent recap. And yes Smelly is a stank ass liar.

[glowlights]

He heard about the new Cezanne hotel Chicago where they can go.  Someone probably tore down a coffee house to build it.

 

.... aaaaaannd that's as far into the recap as I got before the laugh-swoon hit. (Is there a way to give out gold stars? Peach Medals? A "like" vote seems inadequate.)

 

I swear to god if they don't end the coffee shop crap imminently, as in this week, I will join Joe Clark's secret ninja army and burn the place down myself. No one cared this much when Gloworm went out of business and it had booze. What do people do at Crimson Lights besides pretend to eat ridiculously large baked goods and pour sugar into empty coffee mugs?

 

Kelly says Phyllis KNEW she worked here.  She could have chosen anyplace to have her romantic encounter, yet she chose HERE.  WHY?  Unless it was to set her up!  “Nobody is buying this victim act of yours,” says Phyllis.

 

I'm calling it: Phyllis, in the yoga room, with a GCAC champagne glass.

[peach]

Peach, you're amazing - how in the hell do you remember this stuff?  I do remember that now, but I didn't even think about it when Kelly said that.  This story is really holding my attention - something that hasn't happened in a long time.  Thanks again for doing these recaps - every day that we don't get one is a little less bright.

 

I only remember these silly details because I write them down.  Especially this one, because I was laughing over how melodramatic it was!

[peacheslatour]

Bless you peach, for your hard work, wit and brilliant snarkery! 

 

I've been in some other threads on this site (like Marriage Bootcamp) expecting to see some level of sarcasm, ya know like "god this show is stupid".  But no, everybody takes it totally seriously, bizarre.

[peach]

Thurs, Jan 15   Twisted Games

 

Joe is taking out his frustrations on a punching bag.  This messes his hair up nicely.  I approve.  Cane interrupts and mumbles something about there being a problem with the land deal.  Did people drop out once they found out the most successful person in town was involved?   No, because that would be stupid.  Joe says the deal will go through once they cut through the red tape.  The city won’t issue the permits until they do an impact study, just standard stuff.  So is that why he was punching the crap out of that bag?  “No, sometimes it just feels good to hit something,” says Joe, and fake acts like he’s going to punch grinning Cane.  Made ya flinch!

 

Avery comes into wrecked Crimson Lights to find Super Dylan unconscious on the floor!  Dylan!  Dylan!  She calls 911! 

 

Codependent Paul’s at the ranch waiting to talk to Nikki, and he also contemplates the irresistible vodka bottle.  Nikki finally stumbles downstairs looking pale and raggedy.  “Heeey, Paul!”  She claims she just fell asleep reading a book, because she didn’t expect company so late.  He scoldingly asks if she got any of his messages??  Umm, well, yes, and she’s so sorry she didn’t get back to him, she’s just had a lot on her mind.  Pushy Paul KNOWS that.  He and Super Dylan have been WORRIED about her, so he promised Dylan he’d be checking up on her.  Finding out Victor owns Crimson Lights has to be difficult to deal with.  She appreciates his concern, but she’s FINE.  “You’re lying, Nikki.”

 

Phyllis cannot believe Jack is accusing her of setting up Kelly.  “I am not accusing you of anything.  I am asking.  The florist said Phyllis Newman ordered those roses.”  Phyllis says Kelly could have used her name, how hard is it?  She has always wanted Phyllis to look bad!  Or like, worse.  Victor is skulking and listening in the background.  Jack hardly thinks that--  “Jack, this is the woman who lied and said I slapped her to get sympathy points with you.  This is obviously a mental mind game!”  Well, Jack STILL doesn’t know what happened in his office that day.  Phyllis rants about how Kelly can’t let go and wants Jack to see her as Little Miss Innocent!  Jack keeps being stupid about it.  Victor gleefully interrupts.  “Well, you know Jack has been wrong about a great many things.  You’re living proof of that.”  Jack rubs his head in frustration and tries not to scream FUUUUUCK! while Phyllis rolls her eyes. 

 

Billy and Chelsea work late over Chinese food in Jack’s office, and she wishes she had at least another week to work on her sketches.  Billy asks why Phyllis is in such a hurry anyway?  So they can start shooting the Look Book for Fall II, duh.  “Fall II?” scoffs Businessman Billy, “How can you think that far in advance??  I don’t know what I’m going to be doing in the next five minutes!”  Business planning is for nerds.  Blah blah, let’s have sex on the couch. 

 

Billy starts kissing Chelsea and undoing her top.  Oops!  Interrupted by good ole Adam/Gabriel Bingo Bingham.  That’s what you get for not locking the door.  Adam stares coldly at them.  “I was looking for Jack,” he says, but I guess I could murder you while I wait.  Billy is like, this guy.  Adam says he’s sorry to interrupt.  “Really,” says Billy, “because every time I turn around you’re showing up someplace uninvited.”  Adam tilts his head, like, I wonder if I could kill him with one punch?

 

Nick’s working at The Underground, and Sage stops by.  She just really wanted to thank him for all that annoying thoughtfulness when he barged in with flowers and money.  She and Gabriel were so touched.  Hey, Gabe was his little brother 100 years ago, it was the least he could do.  Gosh, Sage just LOVED hearing all those stories about you guys.  Got any more he wants to share?  Wow, Sage gets right to the point.  “Bingo must have a million of’em.  Why don’t you ask him?” says Nick.  She smiles awkwardly.  Well, for one thing, she hates Bingo.

 

“You know something, Nikki, I can always tell when you’re hiding something from me.  And right now, you’re not doing a very good job of it,” says Paul.  Nikki looks so bad, even Neil could tell what’s going on.   “Your eyes are bloodshot, you can’t keep your balance…”  Um, Paul, she hasn’t had any sleep.  She’s been up all night thinking about Victor’s lies.  “After all these years, Victor’s behavior still surprises you?” Nikki has wished for all these years that Victor would change.  And after every stunt he pulls, she knows he really believes he’s protecting his family.  But this time is different.  He doesn’t look at Dylan as family.  He doesn’t giveadamn about Dylan’s livelihood, except for giving him piles of money to continue it.  Selling this land isn’t protecting anything but Newman’s bottom line. 

 

Paul knows how hard she’s worked to build a relationship with Dylan, and stress isn’t good for her.  And neither is ALCOHOL.  Um, uh, um, she just had that one slip.  “Are you honestly going to tell me you haven’t had a drink since all this happened?”  She’s saved by the phone ringing.  It’s Avery!!  Omg, they’ll be right there!!  Paul asks what’s wrong?! “It’s Dylan!  We have to go to the hospital!”  Paul better drive.

 

Jack tells Victor this is a private conversation.  “I understand, but I could hear you practically out in the parking lot.”  It is NONE of his CONCERN.  “You know Phyllis is here because of ME.   I kept on searching for a cure so she could get out of her coma and resume her life.”  Victor frowns…”What were you doing while I was doing that?  Oh…wait a minute, you were busy with…what’s her name?”  Jack’s head is going to explode.  “Leave Kelly out of this.”  Phyllis is like, “Jack, you’re defending her.  What that crazy woman REALLY needs is for the men in white coats to come and cart her off!” 

 

Jack can’t stand it.  “Can we please continue this conversation at home.  These people didn’t pay for dinner AND a show.”  Suffice it to say, if Phyllis needs anything in the future, don’t hesitate to call Victor.  Jack’s like, oh, like he wanted to help her out of the goodness of his heart.  He WANTED something from her, that’s the ONLY reason he continued searching for a treatment!  “And the question she should ask herself is why didn’t YOU con-tinue searching for a treatment?  Or is the answer obvious?”  Victor walks away.  He doesn’t even say youhaveaniceday.  Phyllis looks at Jack, like, yeah, what about that?

 

Sage sits down and says she never talked to Gabe about boarding school.  And now that he’s home, he never talks about the past.  He’s more of a “live in the present” kind of guy.  Nick says that sounds like him.  So fill Sage in on those madcap days of yore.  What was Gabe like then?  Nick says Gabe was always into practical jokes, LOVED playing pranks on everyone.  Wait til you find out about this one!  “Though, he is the only person to get expelled for that,” Nick adds, before going to wait on a customer.  Sage is like, omg!  Inside information that she should already know plus it’s on the internet!!  She hurriedly texts Adam that she’s with Nick, and already has more info on G.  She’ll fill him in later.

 

Chelsea tells “Gabe” that Jack left a few hours ago, is there something he needed?  Oh, Gabe starts his new job on Monday, and he just wanted to swing by and tell Jack how much he’s looking forward to working with him again!  Billy gripes that he could have CALLED, his brother does have voicemail, as well as a cheating, distracted assistant!  He didn’t need to make a special trip.  This isn’t even your office, Billy, so STFU.  Gabe keeps on smiling and blathers about HR before just “happening” to notice Chelsea’s AMAZING sketches.  SHE is really TALENTED!  They are lucky to have her at Jabot!  “It’s a mutually beneficial relationship,” she coos at Billy, and Adam tries to not to barf. 

 

Chelsea thinks Gabe’s going to love working there.  “Even though it’s a huge company, it’s still a family business.”  It runs on nepotism, basically.  She says the Abbotts are very hands-on.  Yes, he can see that.  Billy continues being hostile while Gabe sucks up to Chelsea that he could really use her help to draw him a sketch of this IMMENSE office building so he can find his office on Monday.  He doesn’t want to be late and make a bad impression.  “Who you trying to impress, Bingham?  You already got the job,” challenges Billy.  Who the hell do you think you are, coming in on TIME like that?  Actually, Gabe can’t really impress ANYONE if he comes in on time, because nobody will be there.  

 

“Well, I’m sure you know how it is, Bill.  Our last names tend to open up a lot of doors.  I want my colleagues to think I got my job based on more than just my fancy pedigree.  I’m smart, driven, not afraid to go after what I want, no matter what obstacles stand in my way.”  Billy doesn’t like any of this.  This guy probably knows what’s he’s doing five minutes from now.

 

Cane and Joe lift weights.  So why didn’t Joe tell Cane about Victor being involved in the deal?  Victor didn’t want it discussed.  “He didn’t want the public knowing?  Well, I’m not the public, so why didn’t you tell me?”  Joe says he wasn’t at liberty to share it.  And he has no idea that Cane is stuck keeping a lot of big secrets.  So, Joe comes to Cane for help, knowing Victor owns the holding company, AND knowing that Victor is responsible for him not working for Chancellor, and then when he ASKED about Gerolamo, Joe didn’t offer any information.  Uh, right.  Look, this deal isn’t about Chancellor, it’s about revamping the downtown warehouse district.  Cane pouts.  WHAT DON’T THESE BABIES UNDERSTAND?!  Joe just needs to get back to Chicago where the grownups live. 

 

Well, this is how Cane thinks it’s going to play out.  He doesn’t think Victor would alienate his wife and kids over some real estate deal, so it seems obvious to [Jill] him that Victor’s business is in trouble and he needs the cash.  So, all Cane needs to do is turn around and support Dylan McAvoy, and this deal falls through, and Victor has to sell Chancellor.  Because the whole plan hinges on the support of Cane Ashby, hotel manager.  Victor strolls in.  “I wouldn’t count on that,” he says.  Cane smirks, like he’s really got Victor over a barrel now.

 

Dylan’s pretty beat up in a hospital bed.  Avery is weepy outside his door.  She has a flashback to Dylan pouring her champagne and dancing with her and her mismatched extensions.  They plan to celebrate next Christmas at Crimson Lights.  I actually don’t remember this happening, and I suspect another fake Davery flashback.  Unless I FFed it.  Avery holds her folded arms and sniffles.  Worried parents Nikki and Paul rush in.  Avery cries and tells the horrifying story of finding Dylan beat up on the floor.  The doctor comes out and they pepper him with questions.  He’s like, whoa.  He finally gets to tell them Dylan has a concussion and bruising, you guys.  BRUISING!  Omg, what about his chopped liver?!  Oh, that’s fine.  They BURST into the hospital room and collapse on his banged up body.  Basic Dylan feels like he got beat up.  “Who did this to you?” asks Paul.  He’s not sure…but he has a pretty good idea what it was about.

 

Nick is telling Sage that Gabe wasn’t as girl crazy as the old Nickmeister, here, but that didn’t stop him from climbing a trellis to talk to girls!  She says Constance always called Gabe a scamp.  “I think that sounds very scamplike, don’t you?” she laughs.  She can’t BELIEVE he got expelled! Constance really kept it quiet.  She was living IN the house and never heard that.  So, Nick is curious.  After being Constance’s caretaker, what’s Sage going to do now?  Move out of that free castle and start a new life?  She doesn’t know.  Moving on is difficult to contemplate.  That place is the only home or family she’s known.

 

Hey, Nick knows how hard it is to get away from family.  “It took me years to get out of the rather imposing shadow of Victor Newman,” and all the way to the tack house.  But he knew he had to do it.  Maybe Constance has a tack house!  Nick had to become his own person, and hopefully a better man than his father, with the clear moral separation of the driveway.  Sage only knows his father through reputation, but jokes that she’s already seen Nick at his worst, drunk in a bear trap.  Not his finest moment, he laughs.  “Well, you seem like a really decent guy.  So, unless your father’s a saint, it appears you succeeded,” she smiles.  You’re so great, your brother wanted to leave you for dead.

 

Jack and Phyllis get home.  He says she barely said a word on the way home.  “Kind of surprising, given all that you had to say at the club.”  Hmm, well she was thinking about what Victor said.  Why didn’t he keep looking for a way to pull her out of the coma?  Phyllis, they’ve been over all this.  “Let’s go over it again.”  The facility DANIEL found was cutting edge.  Jack still flew in specialists from everywhere except wherever Dr. Cutler was from.  ALL OF THEM said there was NOTHING they could do for her!  “And you accepted it just like that?”  NO.  FOR MONTHS their hopes were dashed repeatedly.  And it was very difficult for him to give up, but he HAD TO.  Not just for him, but for [Kelly] Summer! 

 

She gives him a look.  “How is giving up on me good for my daughter?”   She gets WHY it was good for JACK, since he clearly moved on to Kelly with a clear conscience.  Her coming back was NOT part of the plan, because it threw his life into chaos.  “You were torn between two women, and you STILL ARE.  Is that why you constantly defend her?  Are you still in love with her?”  HOW many times does he have to tell her NO.  His life with Kelly is over!  He’s MARRYING HER!  What MORE does she need?!  “I need you to TRUST me!”  He DOES!  Then she needs him to prove it.

 

Dylan explains about the masked marauders, possibly armed.  “Oh, dear God,” moans Nikki.  Dylan says at first he stood back, and then…okay, well, he tried to take on two armed intruders.  Ugh, why?!  “Because I wasn’t going to let two low-lifes hurt my business any more than I’m gonna let Victor and Joe!”  How’s that workin’ for ya?  Everyone grimaces.  “It’s Crimson Lights,” he says.  Yeah, you guys, it's Crimson Lights!  So Dylan’s pretty much willing to die for his leased coffee shop.  The place has meaning, if he lets them tear it down, they’ll be tearing down all the memories people have!  “Your LIFE has meaning,” says Avery.   You serve as a warning to others.

 

Victor tells Cane he’s sure Jill has been filling him with all kinds of nonsensical ideas.  “Just remember, you’re a neophyte in business, but let me tell you.  One bad quarter of the Chancellor part of Newman Enterprises does not make it circle the drain.”  I think “neophyte” means “uneducated grifter.”  Cane smirks.  Most companies will bounce back from a bad quarter, but with the bad press and fines from the Bonaventure fiasco, it might be a little difficult for him. 

 

Victor’s amused.  “You wanna mess with me?  You tell her to summon all of her friends about my demise.  She will never lay hands on my company,” he throaty whispers.  Cane will do that, but he and Jill do like a challenge.  It’s just business, right?  Victor smirks.  “You have a good workout, K?  And you make sure he doesn’t hurt himself,” he says to Joe.  He winks and walks off.  Cane’s really pleased with himself for some reason. 

 

Paul says there were no other robberies in the area.  Avery has her arm around Dylan like he’s her little boy.  She wonders why they wouldn’t just rob the bar down the street, where there would be lots more cash.  I guess she’d prefer they rob The Underground.  Dylan says there’s no bouncer at Crimson Lights, no one’s watching the door.  “Well maybe there should be,” whines Nikki.  She can’t take another phone call saying he’s been rushed to the hospital.  Dylan’s been through worse.  Avery’s says that was combat!  He shouldn’t have to look over his shoulder at his place of business!  Hmm, maybe he should move to a better part of town.  Paul says this isn’t the first incident.  Remember the brick through the window?  “GASP!” says Nikki.  Do you think it’s connected?? Paul thinks someone is sending Dylan a message.  “Someone’s definitely trying to scare him,” says Avery, “the question is who?”  Everyone stares.

 

Nick figures Sage knows what his father is like from the news coverage.  Meh, she doesn’t pay attention to the business press.  Well, Nick says he isn’t as bad as they make him out to be.  Of course not, he’s worse.  “But you just said you don’t want to be like him,” says Sage.  Well, the ruthless part.  Nick would never, like, ruthlessly take a child away from her mother, or anything ruthless like that.  Victor loves his family, and that’s the kind of guy Nick is.  His father worked so hard to build up his company just so he could pass it off to his children, but the thing is, Nick doesn’t want any part of it, besides the jets and henchmen and island part.  He just doesn’t want Adam to have any part of it, either. 

 

“The corporate world is cut-throat, and who wants to live like that??” he says.  She assumes that’s why he owns a bar, then.  That’s the exact opposite of a boardroom.  Yeah, and Nick says he just opened this place to have something to occupy his time, because really, he’s filthy, stinking rich because of all that icky cut-throat stuff.  “That’s what you need to do,” he says, “you need to make a fresh start in life.”  I bet he has a t-shirt just your size.  Nick says starting over is hard, but he’s sure Sage would be good at anything she tries next.  Any idea what that would be?  Conniving with Adam is a pretty good hobby, but she’ll probably end up bartending at The Underground, now that Austin has a whole commercial to shoot.

 

Billy sulks because Chelsea didn’t draw Gabe a map, she actually showed him where his office was.  And if he ever gets lost in the labyrinth of Jabot, he can call the number for security that she’s writing on this note.  Oh noes!  Adam sees her wedding ring is gone.  Sad feelz.  He finally leaves, and Chelsea tells Billy he can be kind of a brat sometimes.  Yeah, but he doesn’t get why Chelsea feels compelled to go out of her way to help this guy.  Um, she’s nice?  He says aren’t guided tours what interns are for?  Right, there are just scads of those running the halls.  Chelsea says starting a new job is stressful!  And she can’t imagine starting one while planning a funeral.  Gabe just told her his grandmother passed away.  Billy finds that super suspicious.  Who starts work on the day of a funeral, or even after.  Billy wouldn’t work for weeks if that happened.  He probably won't work because GABE'S grandma died.  Chelsea’s like what is your problem with this guy, you barely know him!  Exactly!  And in three weeks time, he’s got a job at Jabot AND is looking at a condo down the hall from them?  Who gets jobs and condos?!  He’s everywhere!  Whatever, let’s make out.

 

Jack calls the florist again.  Okay, describe the woman who ordered the flowers.  Omg, she was a blonde?!  “A blonde,” says Phyllis, “very interesting.”  It is, says Jack.   Is he finally willing to admit that Kelly is desperate and did all that stuff at the hotel?  “I owe you an apology,” says Jack.  “I’m sorry.  You were right all along about Kelly.”  They embrace.  Jack looks worried, and Phyllis has a satisfied, evil little smirk.  Hmm.

 

Joe and Cane are showered and suited up again in the lobby.  Look, Joe understands that Cane wants what was “taken” from him, but he shouldn't waste his efforts.  “What, you don’t think Victor can be outplayed?”  Well, not by you.  Joe says this deal is going through.  Victor’s got all the money to secure the company, so Cane lending support to the opposition is just a waste of time.  It creates another bump in the road for Joe, and why would he do that to a friend? 

 

Cane doesn’t want to cause him problems, but if he helps Joe, he wants something in return, such as information.  “You know I’m trying to acquire Chancellor, so anything you could tell me to help that, you know, would be appreciated.”  I think you’re going to need actual money, Cane, but Joe understands.  I'm trying to acquire Anheuser Busch, what do you guys think?  “Then again, if you want to play The Secret Game, we can do that, too.  But then I’ll have to go and support Dylan McAvoy, won’t I?  Have a good day, mate,” he says, walking away, like he really turned the tables on Joe.  Joe grins in admiration of the amazing Cane Ashby, broke ass hotel manager.  These two need to get a room.

 

Avery comes storming in the door.  “Wasn’t it enough for you to try and obliterate Dylan’s business,” she cries, shoving him!  “You had to hire thugs to beat him up!!”  He’s like, wth are you talking about?  Don’t you lie to her, Joe!  Look, he didn’t send anybody after Dylan, just like he didn’t throw a brick through his window!  The cops already checked him out!  “I don’t BELIEVE you, Joe!”  I thought Avery was a super big fan of evidence, but guess not.  Joe says this deal is big, HUGE, and there’s a lot of money involved, and Dylan’s making some pretty powerful enemies.  “And you’re the only one who cares enough to make this so personal!”  He’s pissed.

 

Dylan tells Nikki that Avery will be back soon with her overnight bag, so she doesn’t have to stay.  Oh, Nikki loves to overstay her welcome in hospitals.  It’s the least she can do, considering her husband created this whole mess.  “You think Victor’s behind me getting robbed and beaten?”  To be fair, Dylan got himself beaten.  Nikki knows when his back is against the wall, he’ll cut a bitch.  Well…he did sort of convey a threat earlier.  He offered Dylan a huge check to relocate his business, and when Dylan turned him down, he said things could go very badly.  Not only for him, but for Avery, too.  Nikki looks at the floor.   Victor claimed her career could take a big hit by backing those losers in the warehouse district.   He denied it was a threat and called it a warning, but get real.  Dylan thinks if he doesn’t back down and accept his bribe, he has a feeling that Avery’s law practice will be next on his hit list.  Nikki asks if Paul knows about this.  “No, what’s HE gonna do?”  I don’t know, arrest him?  Hospital Patient Dylan says he’s not afraid of Victor.  “I hate to say this, but you should be.”

 

Victor gets home.  “Sweetheart?”  Nope, it’s just Paul.  The housekeeper let him in.   Then where’s Nikki?  Paul just came from the hospital, and she’s still there.  Victor’s like, omg, what do you mean she’s in the hospital??  Is she alright?!  Well, she’s not physically hurt, but she is certainly NOT alright!  How could she be after what Victor’s done!  “What are you talking about?  WHY is she in the hospital?”  Because she wouldn’t leave Dylan’s side!  Victor’s like…what??  “I don’t get any of this.”  Dylan was beaten UNCONSCIOUS today!  Well what does Victor have to do with it? 

 

“Just about everything, Victor!  You don’t even LIKE Dylan.”  Blah WAAAAH blah.  You were mean at Christmas.  WAAAH!  “Nikki wanted to be with her son.  Her son WITH ME.  And that’s really what it’s all about, isn’t it?  That Nikki turned to ME to find HER SON.  When he turned out to be MY SON, it made matters worse.”  Her son with MEEEE!!!!!   It really doesn’t surprise Paul at ALL that Victor tried to sell his business out from under him.  “That was a business decision!” says Victor for the hundredth time.  “When you put him in the hospital, you CROSSED THE LINE!” shouts Paul.  “HOW can you be that threatened BY DYLAN?”  Word. 

 

“YOU are crossing the line now!” shouts Victor.  “HOW DARE YOU!  Are you here as a COP?  Or as a PARENT?  Or as an OLD FRIEND?” he sneers.  “I ASSURE YOU I HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THE MUGGING OF YOUR SON!  YOU GOT  IT?!  In fact, I SAW him earlier, I made him a very generous offer to relocate his business!”  Paul says he can assume what Dylan told him to do with his offer.  “YES!  He was a FOOL!”  He’s NOT a fool, says Paul.  “YOU BET HE IS!”  But he is an obstacle, says Paul.  “HOW DARE YOU IMPLY---  Paul, I’m a BUSINESSMAN, I’m not a criminal!”  Paul laughs.  Please, are you going to tell Paul you’re above all this?  Because they both know better.

 

Victor is stunned, he is outRAGED by these accusations!  So either put the cuffs on him now, or show yourself out, Paul.  Paul gets a call.  The security cameras caught a partial license plate around the time Dylan was beaten.  He can assure us that whoever did this is going to pay!  “Well, I certainly hope SO!” says Victor.  “Don’t ever come into my house again and make these kind of baseless accusations!”  Paul slams the door.

 

“Victor doesn’t make idle threats,” says Nikki.  “He wouldn’t hesitate to ruin Avery’s company if it meant saving his own.”   She thinks that’s why he’s selling the land, to keep Newman-Chancellor solvent.   To shore things up.  So this multijillion dollar conglomerate depends on one shitty warehouse parcel.  Dylan says this is so crazy, because he was already questioning stepping aside and letting someone else lead the charge, because he didn’t like Nikki being in the middle.  But when Victor showed him that offer with all those zeroes, omg, he got PISSED all over again.  “He tried to [help] buy me!”  There’s no pleasing some people. “No way am I gonna give up!  Especially after he insinuates he’s going after Avery next!  I’m going to fight him with everything that I have.”  Which is nothing.  STOOPID.  Nikki understands, and she’s not going to try to change his mind.  Because she’s STOOPID, too.

 

Joe DOES care, about YOU, Avery!  So why would he hurt anyone that is close to her?  That would only push her away, what sense does that make?  “Well, whoever’s behind these scare tactics, they’ve gone too far! Dylan’s in the hospital!”  She says he’ll be okay, but he’ll be more determined than ever to continue this fight. “Well, so will the opposition.”  Avery doesn’t want Dylan to hurt anymore!  There’s gotta be a way to make this stop!  Joe can think of one thing!  So…he starts kissing her?  Guess what, she doesn’t like it.  She slaps him!  “Don’t you ever touch me again,” she cries, before running out the door.  Joe seems to like getting slapped by Avery.

 

Nick laughs and brainstorms with Sage about career paths like skydiving instructor.  It’s a knee slapping good time.  Adam strolls in and pisses on the party.  She’s supposed to be getting info on Gabe, not hitting on Nick.  She’s making friends, okay, and she IS getting info that can help him.  That’s what he wants, right?  What he WANTS is his wife and son back, so they need to speed this along!  Every day she’s slipping further away!

 

Billy and Chelsea get half naked on Jack’s skeezy couch, but decide to finish the deed at home.  I’m sure the cleaning staff appreciates it, except they leave all their disgusting Chinese food trash sitting out.   Rich people.

 

Phyllis accepts Jack’s apology.  He will set things straight with Kelly, but first Phyllis wants to salvage their night.  A bath will be a perfect way to forget about Kelly’s twisted games!  They run upstairs… we see Phyllis’ purse…WITH A BLONDE WIG IN IT!!  AAAHHH!! These are PHYLLIS’ TWISTED GAMES!!  But Kelly’s still crazy, so whatever.

[movinon]

 

“But you just said you don’t want to be like him,” says Sage.  Well, the ruthless part.  Nick would never, like, ruthlessly take a child away from her mother, or anything ruthless like that.

Of course not, because Nick is a such a noble and stand-up guy.  Damn, I wish they would have left him in the bear trap and just let him die.  He is so disgusting and he doesn't give a shit about Faith, really - just his damned prick.  I could go on all day, but that's your job, Peach.  Please don't ever stop doing these re-caps - I love them.

[NinjaPenguins]

 

“It took me years to get out of the rather imposing shadow of Victor Newman,” and all the way to the tack house.  But he knew he had to do it.  Maybe Constance has a tack house!  Nick had to become his own person, and hopefully a better man than his father, with the clear moral separation of the driveway

Damn this is funny. Because it's true.

 

 

Have a good day, mate,” he says, walking away, like he really turned the tables on Joe.  Joe grins in admiration of the amazing Cane Ashby, broke ass hotel manager.  These two need to get a room.

Cane Ashby, broke ass hotel manager...that would look amazing on his business cards, perhaps next to some bloody fangs clip art.

[glowlights]

“Fall II?” scoffs Businessman Billy, “How can you think that far in advance??  I don’t know what I’m going to be doing in the next five minutes!”

 

What does Billy do at Jabot, exactly? I don't even know what department he's supposed to be in. Jabot and Newman-Chancellor hand out jobs like subway fliers.

 

Gabe sucks up to Chelsea that he could really use her help to draw him a sketch of this IMMENSE office building so he can find his office on Monday.

 

That was one of the biggest "WHAT THE HELL?!?!?!?" moments in recent memory. Have any of these writers ever been out in public?

[peach]

Fri, Jan 16   The Bitch is Good!

 

Nickmeister runs into Bingo at the gym.  Finally!   Bingo says he just joined, actually, so I guess he got the same introductory black tank top they gave Joe.  Bingo says he’s glad he ran into good ole Nick.   He was kinda busy when the Bing man stopped by to find Sage the other day.  Yeah, Nickster says they didn’t get a chance to catch up.  “Catch up?” laughs Bingo, “You knew me when I was 14.  Unfortunately, nothing’s really changed since then” besides my DNA.  About that, Nick really needs to bring up the damned Juliet Incident again, while BILLY OVERHEARS!  Gasp!

 

Nick reminds us that Bingo said Constance bailed him out of crashing the headmaster’s boat, and it was smooth sailing after that.  But he got KICKED OUT of school for that, so HOW COULD IT BE SMOOTH SAILING?!  Answer THAT, Bingo!  This reminds me of Adam Sandler in The Wedding Singer:  Hey, my parents died when I was ten, you wanna talk about that, too?   The look on Adam’s face suggests that Sage kept this from him.  WORSE, BILLY HEARD THE WHOLE THING!!!  Omg, now upstanding citizen Billyboy Abbot knows that Gabriel smashed a boat when he was fourteen.  SCANDAL!

 

Sharon has her first day on the job as Chelsea’s human mannequin, and looks great doing it, of course.  Chelsea apologizes for having Connor along on the job, but the nanny slid her car into a ditch this morning.  Sharon’s kind of nervous and frazzled because she’s so worried about this job working out.  Chelsea knows how important the custody hearing is, so she’s glad she could help.  Sharon’s grateful because she knows this is a little bizarre for both of them. 

 

Chelsea says it really didn’t turn out to be as weird as she thought it would.  Actually, these two ought to be fast friends besides the Adam part.  Sharon foolishly says they do have some things in common!  And then somehow a pin slips.  OUCH!  Yeah, watch it, Sharon, there are more pins where that came from.  They finish the dress, and Sharon gets a call from David Sherman.  It doesn’t sound good.  She tells Chelsea her court date is coming a lot sooner than she thought.
Victoria runs into Sage in the club lobby.  Ha bear trap ha.  She thanks Sage again for helping her brother.  Oh, please, he’s thanking her more than enough.  Oh, says snobby Victoria, so he’s kept in touch?   Yep, they’ve chatted a few times, and he paid her a pushy condolence visit when a close friend died.   Oh…Vicky didn’t realize they’d gotten so close.  Sage smiles like she just got a promise ring.

 

Michael’s at the doctor.  If all goes well he’ll be able to start radiation treatment tomorrow.  So I guess he didn’t go to the radiation kiosk after all.  Tomorrow sounds way too soon for Michael, while cancer spreads through his body.

 

Phyllis and Jack come downstairs.  She says it’s true that makeup sex is the best kind!  Jack says it was almost worth the fight.  But not really. “At least now you know that Kelly is pulling the dirty tricks, and I’m the victim.”   Phyllis says this like being the victim is winning a prize.  And winning isn’t quite enough for Phyllis.  She wants Jack to describe exactly what went through his mind when the florist told him the rose culprit was a blonde.  “That I never should have doubted you in the first place,” he says dutifully.  Ahhh, yes, and that he never will again, correct?  Correct.  Okay, she’ll stop needling him now that the truth’s out.  “I have to admit, the whole thing with Kelly and the hotel room…it really shook me up.  I never really realized how deranged she is,” he frowns, and deranged Phyllis comforts him with a hug.  Meanwhile, Jack has a text from Kelly, saying “Can we talk?”

 

Bingo calmly explains to Nosy Nick that yeah, he got kicked out, but good old Grandmother paid for the boat and made sure the headmaster didn’t press charges, and bought his way into somewhere else.  No big.  Nick says she sounds like a force to be reckoned with, as if rich people don’t do this shit all the time.  She sure was, and as much as it pains Bingo to admit it, that whole episode was awfully embarrassing for her.  She was so disappointed, she didn’t even tell Sage about it.  So, Bingo made a habit of glossing over the whole thing SINCE IT’S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS, and maybe you can STFU about it now.  Yeah, Nick can see why he wouldn’t want to talk about it.  DUH. 

 

And here comes Billy.  “Are we talking about embarrassing chapters in our lives?”  Who’s “we”?  “Nick’ll tell you, I’m the king.  We could stay here til midnight and still not get through half of them.”  So don’t think YOU’RE embarrassing, Gabe, BILLY IS THE KING.  The KING OF THE WORLD.   So, wow,  it turns out Billy’s already met Bingo, huh?  Yep, Gabe’s the newest member of their executive team.  Nick says Jabot’s a pretty good place to work, even if Billy works there, too.  He tells Billy that he and Gabe go way back.  Way, way, way back.  Nick’s gotta run, but hey, don’t agree to spot for Billy, because next you’ll be doing his taxes, washing his car…”he’s one of those guys.”  Lazy.  When NICK says you're lazy...you're pretty lazy.

 

Billy tells Gabe that Nick’s a good guy.  He could be a complete ass to Billy and no one would blame him, but that’s not Nick.  He has the Hero Gene, plus he’s busy being a complete ass to Sharon.  Adam’s like…yeah..he’s a real prince.   He does offer to spot for Billy, probably so he can drop the bar on his neck, but Billy declines.  “Wash your car?” offers Adam.  Nah, that’s okay, and really, Billy wants to apologize for being such a dick last night.  He admits that he got suspicious about Gabe popping up everywhere, but he’s sure it’s just a coincidence.  Yep.  A really gigantic coincidence.  Billy figures since they’re working together, they should get to know each other.  Billy’s probably going to need you to cover for him all those times he doesn’t show up.

 

Sharon tells Chelsea she’s terrified.  Getting the actual court date makes it all seem so real.  Chelsea can imagine.  They look at Connor.  Sharon remembers when Faith was that age.  It goes by so fast.  “My little girl still has a lot of growing up to do, and I need to be there for every minute of that.  And the thought of losing her…” She’s too broken up to continue.  “It’s obvious how much you love your children, Sharon,” Chelsea says with compassion.  “You’re a good mom.”  Sharon hopes Nick remembers that before it’s too late.

 

Nick’s just bopping around the club.  Victoria tells him about Super Dylan getting beaten up.   I really like her necklace.  Nick says all the years he owned Crimson Lights, they were never robbed or ANYTHING like that!  He just hopes Dylan’s okay and they find the guys who did it.  So, how is Mom??  “Strained, and furious with Dad after what he pulled.  I mean, hiding the fact that he owns the warehouse district?”  Yeah, Nick is pissed at him, too.  Like that matters.  But Mom should NOT be dealing with this stress.  That’s what Vicky said, but Mom says she’s fine.   

 

Well, she’s going to see what Dad has to say for himself when she gets to work!!  But first, she ran into his friend, Sage, earlier.  Nick’s sorry he missed her, though he doesn’t know if he’d call her a friend just yet.  She’s just a casual acquaintance he barged in on and demanded her entire life story.  But Sage says they’ve been talking, and he paid her a condolence call, grins Vicky, like condolences are some cute form of flirting.  “That sounds pretty friendly to me,” she hints.  “Are you interested in this woman?”

 

Jack tells Phyllis he still feels sorry for Kelly.  “She’s a mess alright.  Don’t pity her too much, she knew what she was doing all along.  You know, some females will do whatever it takes to hang onto a man.  Given my past, I should know.”  And then some.  Jack says for what it’s worth, the Kelly he knew was never like this.  “Don’t cut her too much slack, Jack.  I think she’s been like this for a long time, she just did an incredible job of covering it up.  You didn’t really KNOW her all that well.”  Okay, that’s true. But he knows YOU, and doesn’t seem to mind.  Phyllis says now that his eyes are open, if Kelly makes another desperation play, he’ll know what she’s up to.  Okay, Phyllis has a neurologist appointment, which is probably code for bashing someone’s head in, so she’ll meet him later.  She leaves, and Jack sees his text from Kelly.  Looks like he’s going to do something about it.

 

Nick says he’s not interested in Sage in that way.  Victoria says he doesn’t pay a condolence call on just anyone, because he’s selfish and lazy.  “You’re right.  Somebody has to die for that to happen.”  Vicky thinks it’s special attention to be paying on “not a friend.”  Well, it wasn’t just for her!  It turns out she’s associated with his dear, old friend, Gabriel Bingham, his boarding school little brother.  That’s right!  Victoria remembers!  Yeah, well, he lives in some kooky old castle outside of town, so he went to see him.  And Sage?  “Sage is cool.  And I like talking to her.  But I just came off a broken engagement, and I’m in a custody battle!  I’m not in the right frame of mind to start dating!” 

 

Okay, okay, she gets it.  It’s just unusual for him not to have a jump-off.  “When I started dating Ben in the backseat of my car, it wasn’t serious either, and people said it was just a rebound relationship.  It’s interesting how things are turning out.”  For HER, maybe, but Nick’s not getting involved with any woman for a very long time.  Whiskey visions are nothing to mess with.  FINE, but someday she thinks he’ll finally meet a woman that will make him happy, unlike all the women who do him wrong.  “You shouldn’t close the door on that possibility,” she says.  BYE!, says Nick.

 

Sharon says she loves Nick, and it kills her that they’re fighting over who Faith will grow up with.  “She should be with BOTH of us, under one roof.”  Chelsea says when Adam threatened to take Connor away, she vowed to do whatever it took to keep her son, no matter how dirty or underhanded.   If she and Adam hadn’t found their way back to each other…  “I know we don’t really know each other well enough for me to be asking you this, but…how far are you willing to go to win custody?”  Chelsea sounds like she hopes it’s pretty far.  Sharon’s lawyer says it’s all or nothing, but she doesn’t feel comfortable with that.  She’d rather SHARE custody.  Of course, says Chelsea.  “Even if I wanted sole custody, it’s not as if I have something on Nick that would turn the judge against him.”  Chelsea’s, oh, if you look hard enough, you can always find something.  Like his entire slimy family.  Sharon ponders.

 

Billy and Gabe chit chat about how Gabe grew up in a castle 20 minutes away from GC, and he couldn’t pass up this opportunity at Jabot.  Billy asks if he’s married or has kids.  Adam hesitates, like, forever.  He just really doesn’t like to talk about himself.  But, hey, Connor sure is a good looking kid, his son?  Billy says as much as he loves the kid, he’s not his dad.  Ohhh, that’s right, Chelsea said she was a widow. 

 

Billy squirms a little.  Did Gabe say something wrong?  “No..it’s just that Chelsea’s husband was a REAL BASTARD.  He’s probably the worst person I ever met, Adam Newman, and the world’s a better place without him.”  Adam chews on his lip and restrains himself from choking Billy.  “Wow, sounds like you really hate that guy.”  Yeah, he does.  “My little girl died because Adam hit her with his car.”  Adam looks seriously pained.  Omg, I forgot, I AM a real bastard.  “That’s awful.  I’m sorry.”  Billy says he just kept driving, and didn’t stop, and didn’t say anything to anybody.  “I’m sure he must have felt horrible about that,” says Adam.  “Is there a reason why you’re defending someone you’ve never even met?” snaps Billy.

 

Jack gets to Kelly’s office.  She hopes this means he understands what really happened yesterday.  “I understand.  YOU were responsible for luring me into the rose covered bed, NOT Phyllis!”  What, that’s not true!  He yells at her for the matching dresses and all the dastardly things.  “You’re behind all of this!”  Kelly says she understands this is Phyllis’ word against hers, that’s why she gave him the card from the florist and urged him to call!  “Oh, I called all right.  They confirmed YOU were the one that bought the roses.”  Kelly’s like what??  No f’ing way!  “Kelly!  No more lies, no more deceit, no more trying to get in touch with me!  IT’S OVER, IT’S DONE, NOW!”  Kelly is crushed.  Also, STAY OUT OF HER CLUB.

 

Michael’s leaving the doctor’s office, and the nurse says she’s sending his lab work straight to his oncologist.  Phyllis really does have a neurology appointment, and hears this in the hallway!  “Your oncologist?” she asks Michael.  He looks like he got caught shoplifting.

 

Nick is walking into the closed, darkened Underground, leaving Avery a message about discussing his court date.  He’s surprised to see Sage lurking in the shadows.  “Hi there.  Guess you didn’t expect to see me so soon again, huh,” she smiles.  Probably not trespassing inside his business.  “I need your help,” she says.

 

Adam profusely apologizes to Billy.  He really didn’t mean to sound like he was defending the driver.  He is so sorry.  Billy says thanks, and he’s sorry for barking at him like that.  Delia died over a year ago, but it still kinda gets to him, ya know?  “She was an amazing kid…you would have liked her.”  Adam swallows hard.  “I bet I would have liked her,” he says.  And of course he understands that Billy gets emotional talking about it.  Adam’s kind of emotional, too.  Victoria walks in.  Billy introduces her to Gabriel.  That’s so weird, Nick just mentioned him.  Oh, yeah, Nick talked about her all the time in boarding school.  Well, let Gabe get to work so he can leave Villy alone together.  See ya. 

 

Billy says he’s really trying to like that guy, but…nope.  Vicky thinks he seems sweet, so Billy should give him a chance.  Whatever.  She’s trying to put on boxing gloves.  “Whoa, planning to take on Victor?  Because I would really like to see that.”  Nah, she was doing Mommy and Me yoga, but it wasn’t working out, mostly because she has a newborn.  “I really want to get back into shape,” says the thinnest post partum woman in history.  “It’s hard to improve on perfection,” says Billy.  Gross.  He’s going to help her.  He holds the sparring gloves you punch, and she goes at it until she accidentally really punches Billy in the gut.  “You still got it,” he gasps.

 

Michael confesses to Phyllis he was diagnosed with cancer at the end of the year.  She dissolves into tears.  “You selfish jerk.  I understand you wouldn’t exactly advertise that, but last time I checked, you and me were best friends.”  Michael says he’s told exactly three people, Lauren, Kevin, and Fenmore, and he wouldn’t have done that if Kevin hadn’t forced him.  Besides, she’s had her hands full with her own recovery.  Phyllis says that makes her the perfect person to talk to. 

 

They sit and she asks for details.  The good news it’s treatable, the bad news is the side effects are not appealing.  There are drugs that can help…but it’s pretty much a crapshoot.  Phyllis says those damn doctors hedge their bets, just like lawyers.  They laugh.  She knows something else is wrong.  He beats around the bush about the side effects issue, and basically, he’s going to lose Lauren, because she’s some kind of old lady sex fiend.  Phyllis thinks that’s not possible!  “Does the name Carmine ring a bell?” he asks.  “You will always be EXACTLY what Lauren needs.”  Michael says who knows what the future holds.  He can’t control any of this!  “Yes, you can!  By refusing to let go of the best thing that’s ever happened to you.”  He ponders.

 

Jack says the florist was quite clear that a BLONDE woman ordered the roses.  Kelly snorts.  My God, that’s all you’ve got?  “So, I guess your cover is BLOWN,” says Jack.  “And you used the name Phyllis Newman?  Did you really think you’d get away with that?”  Wow.  Kelly really has to hand it to that woman.  “The bitch is good!” she gasps.  Horrors!  “I’m not going to let you say another bad word about my---“  bitch.  He turns away.  Kelly’s SORRY, Jack, she didn’t mean it!  It’s just that woman keeps trying to make her look she’s some kind of lunatic.  Can’t he even entertain the possibility that maybe she hired a blonde to order the flowers?  NO! 

 

Please, Jack, just listen!  “You know me.  When have I ever done anything manipulative?   When have I ever lied to you?”  Jack bites his lip.  “I admit, I was really hurt when you got back together with Phyllis, and really angry.  But never in a million years would I cook up some vicious scheme like this!”  When she got in bed with him, it was to open her heart to him.  Because she believed he had chosen HER.  “I didn’t hope that Phyllis would blow in and break up with you!  So that I could be your SECOND CHOICE?  I mean, seriously, I am NOT that pathetic!”  She knows Phyllis might have been whispering all sorts of things in his ears, but Kelly wants to be loved for who SHE is, not because she’s some convenient body!

 

Phyllis says Lauren loves MICHAEL.  He has to stay positive.  He can’t expect the worst going into this.  And if he does, she will personally kick his butt from here to Milwaukee.  “You promise?” says Michael.  You bet.  And Phyllis is proof of miracles, blah blah.  And she’s back with Jack, and they are HAPPY.  She admits there were some bumps, thanks to Kelly Andrews.  “You coulda warned me what a whack job THAT woman is.”  Michael frowns.  “I know you have reasons not to like her, but whack job?  Really?”  Oh, yeaaaah, Michael, she’s delusional.  But that’s all taken care of now.  Michael laughs deviously, then stops cold.  Wait.  “Exactly what does that mean?”  He looks her in the eye.  “What did you do?”  Phyllis smirks.

 

Kelly softly asks Jack if he sees what Phyllis is doing?  “She’s punishing me for being with you.”  Jack says he knows that Phyllis is capable of some pretty outrageous things.  But THIS time it was not her.  He wishes Kelly would be honest with him.  Right, this ONE time it wasn’t her.  Kelly feels like she’s in the middle of a bad dream!  How is she being blamed for this!  “I don’t blame you!  I blame myself!” cries Jack.

 

Sage and Gabriel assumed Constance’s attorney would be handling her estate, but it turns out he’s retiring.  Talk about bad timing, says Nick.  Right, so she thought she’d ask if he knew any really good lawyers, so she lurked in his bar.  Shucks, yeah, he’s really good friends with lawyers.  Like Michael Baldwin and Avery Clark!  Avery’s representing him in his custody case.  Wow, he must really trust her, then.   “Well, she knows nothing is more important to me than stealing my daughter.  She’s fighting as hard for me as anyone could.”  Sage asks if he thinks he’ll win.  Nick stares.

 

Sharon tells Chelsea that the idea of digging up dirt to use against Nick…  “You don’t have the stomach for it?” asks Chelsea.  Well, once you put something out there, you can’t take it back.  She doesn’t want to burn any bridges, especially over Denial River.  Chelsea’s like, yeaaah, but by Nick saying you don’t deserve any parental rights to your own kid??  He should have known you would fight back.  Girl, by filing this lawsuit, he opened himself up to whatever you and your lawyer want to throw at him.  Just sayin’

 

Sharon tries to assimilate this information.  She’s right, it’s just that--  Chelsea says it’s HER life, and obviously it’s not Chelsea’s business.  Sharon obviously knows Nick better than she does, but she’s just puttin’ it out there.  Sharon appreciates it, because there are SO few people she can talk to about it.  Chelsea sympathizes.  She’ll keep them in her prayers, and she really hopes they can find a compromise.  “I’ve always been very grateful that Adam and I were able to work things out.”  SPEAK OF THE DEVIL, and in he walks.  Sexy Gabriel Bingham strolls in and smiles at the sight of both of his wives.  It’s a twofer day. 

 

Sharon who was so obtuse five seconds ago, peers intently at Adam.  “You look really familiar to me,” she says.  He kinda digs it.  He says that’s because…he met her in the coffee shop.  She and her son recommended the GCAC.  Sharon squints, because it’s something else…but then she does remember the sugar packet incident.  Well, that must be what it is!  Sharon Newman, nice to meet him!  Same here.  Gabriel, what a nice name.  OMG, HOOK THESE TWO UP NOW.  Chelsea says Gabe just started working at Jabot!  That’s such a great place to work!  He has to agree with her. 

 

The girls act all BFFy, and Sharon leaves.  Adam doesn’t quite know what to make of that, and Chelsea explains Sharon’s her new fit model.  So what brings him by?  He was hoping at looking at the final fall selections so he can start work on the marketing campaign.  She hopes he doesn’t mind, she brought her son with her today.  Oooomg, it’s his little peanut!  Adam glows with feelz.  “I don’t mind at all,” he smiles.

 

Phyllis told Michael what Kelly did during the break.  Wow.  He only met her a few times, but he didn’t think she had it in her to do HALF the things she’s accusing her of.  “Ohh, she did,” says Phyllis, who hasn’t done anything except help Jack see the truth. And how is that “truth” going?  Well, Jack feels sorry for her, but he is DONE with her!  And our days of Kelly Andrews are behind us.  “Okay,” shrugs Michael, “well, I hope that’s true.”  Phyllis widens her eyes.  Why wouldn’t it be?  “Because your jealous streak is LEGENDARY.  And it’s almost as infamous as your vendettas.  I’m just afraid you’ll Act Up and screw up things with Jack.”  Phyllis says she may have had a FEW minor issues with self-control in the past, but that’s all behind her.  Michael laughs and laughs.  “I love you,” he says and kisses her on the cheek.

 

Kelly asks Jack how he blames himself?  “I started a relationship with you before I was emotionally free.  And I hurt you…and I set you on this path you’re on.”  Kelly smiles weepily.  “Jack, you know me.  The real me!  If we could just talk, the way we used to.”  Jack says Kelly needs to talk to someone besides him.  Like in her grief support group, or a COUNSELOR.  Kelly’s like, wait, you think I’m suffering a breakdown??  Jack thinks she’s suffered more loss than anyone he knows, and he is doing the very thing she worried about from the beginning.  He’s going back to Phyllis.  He GETS that she wants to hold on to what they had, and Mrs. Martinez.  “Jack, I swear to you that is not what is happening,” she says quietly.  “Kelly, I am DEEPLY sorry for the pain I caused you.  But you and I have no future.  I am marrying Phyllis, and there is nothing you can do about that.”   He leaves.  LET HIM HAVE HER.

 

Victoria’s so sorry she punched Billy with her padded bird fist.  He’s sure he’ll recover in time for Katie’s christening next week.  He’s drinking a bottle of water, and she notices his ring tattoo is gone.  Gasp!  Oh, yeah..he got it removed.  Didn’t even leave a mark!  It was time.  Vicky who DEMANDED a divorce gets tears in her eyes.

 

Adam tells Chelsea her designs are STUNNING!  He’ll try to come up with a marketing campaign worthy of all this hard work!  She gets a call, so he’ll keep an eye on Connor for her.  “Hey, Peanut.”  He picks him up and shows him the car he stole.  They kind of snuggle.  “I missed you,” he whispers.  “This feels good, right?  Your Daddy?” 

 

Sage thanks Nick for Avery’s number.  She says they’re even now.  Joke, banter, flirt.  “You’ve done a lot to help me, Nick.  I needed to laugh.  It’s been a long time.”  I’ve been trapped with Adam for months.  “Me, too,” says Nick.  Sharon walks in.  AAAK!  ANOTHER WOMAN!  Go for Gabriel and his nice name, Sharon.

 

The nurse comes by and Michael asks her about working, going to dinner with his wife, doing ALL the things he normally does after he starts radiation.  Sure, if he feels up to it.  Michael gets crazy eyes.

 

Umm, Victoria’s going to get rid of her ring tattoo, too…you know, like, when she has time?  Billy asks how it’s going with Stitch.  Oh, good, he makes her happy, and he’s very good with the kids.  Billy immediately pouts.  “Don’t worry, Katherine and Johnny will always know YOU’RE their father.”  Connor on the other hand, says Billy.  He’s too young to know about Adam, but Billy’s the only dad he’s ever gonna know.  Oh.  So he thinks of himself as Connor’s father now?  “Are you planning to spend your life with Chelsea, then, I guess?”  Awkward.

 

Well, Gabe’s getting a little too close for comfort with Connor.  “What are you doing?” frowns Chelsea.

 

Sharon asks if she can talk to Nick for a minute.  Sage doesn’t mind.   Oh, well if Sage doesn’t mind.  So, what’s up?  Sharon’s like, um, we go to trial next week.  “That soon?” Nick is surprised.  Sharon says once that trial starts, it’s not going to be pretty.  Things are going to be revealed that they really don’t want to come out.  “Is that some kind of threat?” says the douchebag who started it.  “That’s just what happens when people start testifying,” says Sharon.  “If we want to avoid all that, we only have a handful of days to work it out between us,” she says softly, and leaves.  Nick ponders.

 

Kelly stares at a photo of herself with Jack.   “Maybe it’s done,” she says sadly, “but, Jack, you’re gonna realize, that Phyllis is the one who can’t be trusted.”

 

Wow, that didn’t take long.  Jack is in his living room, and finds the bag that careless Phyllis left lying around…with the blonde wig in it!  Hanging out of it, actually.  He’s like wtf?!  Phyllis gets home.  “What is that?” she asks.  “Why don’t YOU tell ME?”  Omg, is this a double bluff?  Triple?  I’ll stick with Phyllis being the root of all evil because duh.

[movinon]

 

SPEAK OF THE DEVIL, and in he walks.  Sexy Gabriel Bingham strolls in and smiles at the sight of both of his wives.  It’s a twofer day.

This is too funny, Peach.  I am loving the way JH looks like he is biting his tongue to swallow his one liners.  You can almost see him fantasizing about killing Billy.  I agree with you - Put Sharon with him, as soon as the custody battle is over.  Can you imagine when it all comes out - Caveman Nick will shit his pants, for sure.

[peach]

Mon, Jan 19   Wigging Out

 

Jack is holding up the Kellyesque blonde wig.  Answer him, Phyllis!  He’d like to know what this is DOING here!  “How would I know?” Phyllis says casually.  “I’ve never seen it before.”  Jack’s like, oh, so you have NO clue how this wig got in your bag.  Phyllis doesn’t know what he’s talking about.  Just because it’s blonde and has bangs, he thinks she went to the florist and pretended to be Kelly.  “Did you?”  Phyllis stammers that she thought they were DONE with this crap.  “SO DID I!” shouts Jack.  Hang on, now, last night he believed it was Kelly running the evil Red Rose plot.  “I DID believe that, until I saw THIS,” he says, throwing the wig down.  So, he thinks she’s LYING to him right now?  Jack stares at her in dismay.  “I don’t know WHAT I think.”

 

Super Dylan hobbles into Crimson Lights while Avery scolds him for not staying in bed.  She still doesn’t know what he was thinking taking on those thugs.  They could have had guns!  “Well, I have a loaded coffee pot,” he jokes.  Maybe he should have used it.  Avery’s not amused.  She doesn’t want to lose him!  “That ain’t gonna happen.  You’re stuck with me.”  As we all are.  Avery begs to take him home and take care of him.  Paul walks in and says he ought to listen to her.  So is Dad there to yell at him?  Paul will leave that to Avery, he came by with an update on his attack.  “Did you find proof to nail Victor?” asks optimistic Dylan.

 

Joe Superman’s in Victor’s office.  “I assume you heard McAvoy was beaten up in his coffee shop?” asks Victor.  Yep, he heard.  “What else do you have to say?” says Victor.  Joe shrugs.  “What else do you expect me to say?”  Victor asks what was he thinking, sending two thugs to beat up McAvoy?  He already told Joe HE would handle it.

 

Victoria apologizes for crying in front of Billy.  Blah blah.  He doesn’t know how to answer her long term questions.  Hell, he doesn’t know what he’s doing in five minutes, but he likes being with Chelsea and Connor, and the idea of spending the rest of his life with them…it sounds pretty good.  Or the path of least resistance, same thing.  Victoria acts like it’s all good.  She’s glad Chelsea makes him happy.   And she’s especially glad for Connor, because Billy will be a way better dad than the guy he killed ever could have been.  I’m sure he’ll let Connor know how much better he is on a regular basis.

 

Adam holds cute little Connor, and Chelsea asks what he’s doing.  Oh, hey, they were just talking some soccer.  Great, well, Chelsea will take him, like right now.  Adam assures her that Connor just got a little fussy because she left the room.  She’s like that’s okay…hey, WAIT A MINUTE, she’s been looking all over for this little red car.  “Where did you get it??”   Umm, I didn’t steal it out of your house, that’s for sure.

 

Oh, gosh, that car was just shoved down in the crack of his stroller.  Wow, she looked there twice! “That’s crazy,” she laughs, because her mind’s on a million things!  Funny, I thought it was crazy because this strange, gorgeous businessman is digging in her stroller cracks and snuggling her baby.  Adam gushes how she does an AMAZING job juggling her career and Connor.  Chelsea says it’s not easy.  He never did say if he had any kids.  Not at the moment, but he sure plans on having a little guy just like that in his life, hopefully soon. 

 

Billy tells Vicky that fortunately they don’t have to worry about Adam influencing his own son or any other kid.   “I hate to think what you might have done to him if he hadn’t died in that car crash,” you caused, says Victoria.  What a stroke of luck that his car just blew up and killed him after Billy got out.  “After what he did to DeeDee, I would have been justified!”  Vicky says it’s not worth doing prison time.  “But he stole Delia’s life from her, from ME.  There was no way I was gonna let him get away with that.”  Vicky says he’s a lot like her dad when it comes to defending his family and not getting caught.  Billy says HE goes after the bad guys.  Her dad, on the other hand, goes after anybody that gets in his way, like her brother.  “Nick?” she asks.  No, her other brother, Super Dylan.  Billy went to visit him in the hospital for some odd reason, and Dylan is convinced Victor is behind the beating that he took when he attacked the robbers. 

 

Vicky’s like, my Dad would never--  “You and I both know that he would!  He HAS!  And before, I wasn’t around to protect you from the fallout…”  Vicky says her dad would NEVER put her in danger, unless he was arresting her and causing a miscarriage.  Maybe not intentionally, says Billy, “But when you mess with bad boys, bad things happen.”  She’s like, riiight, like the time Billy’s gambling buddies came after her?  WHAT, that’s totally different.  “Those guys were amateurs, Vick.  They’re NOTHING compared to the heavy hitters your father is capable of hiring!”  Gambling thugs are just a bunch of pussycats.  They’re not like, you know, the mob or anything.   Victoria might be with Stitch now, but if she EVER needs him, anytime, anywhere…he’s there.  Unless he’s having sex with Chelsea.  Victoria smirks.  That’s the false promise Billy she remembers.

 

“Since when do you care what happens to McAvoy?” Joe asks Victor.  That’s not the point.  When Victor says he’ll take care of it, he means it, K?  “Look, we both want the same thing, to sell the warehouse district,” says Joe.  Victor DID NOT want Dylan beaten up.  “Last I heard, it was a robbery, and nothing to prove otherwise,” smirks Joe.  I guess our Joe Superman really is on the dark side.  Booo.  “It better stay that way, K?” says Victor.  “I told everyone it was nothing personal, just business. Don’t you make a liar out of me.”  Joe says he admires a man that can separate his business from his personal life.  It’s never really been his strong suit.  “Well, youhaveagoodday,”  says Victor.  Joe leaves.

 

Phyllis asks Jack what is the point in staying together if he doesn’t trust her?  Unless he doesn’t want to? OF COURSE he does!  He’s just trying to figure this crazy story out!  Phyllis says he’s trying to make sense of something that makes NO sense.  Why would Phyllis go through all this bullshit!  She’s not stupid, Jack.  “I KNOW that,” he says.  Then he has to believe her that she’s never seen that wig in her life.  She had nothing to do with the evil Red Rose plot!  Jack believes Phyllis doesn’t think she’s lying.  Maybe she just…forgot.  She’s like…what?  I hatched and executed this plan, and then I just FORGOT?  He’s just asking if it’s a possibility.  Well, SURE, if she’s CRAZY.  Is that what he thinks??  That she’s crazy?  Hey, if the wig fits…

 

“No!  I DON’T think you’re crazy!”  Just super forgetful.  “But you think I did all the crazy things Kelly’s accusing me of.”  Jack says she did admit to using his phone to text her.  Please, she did ONE mildly mischievous thing, in desperation…and he thinks she’s a lunatic?  Jack didn’t say that!  He’s just saying between the header down the stairs, and the coma, and the experiments, maybe she’s just, you know, brain damaged.  Hey, man, she JUST had a brain scan yesterday!  It didn’t show any psychotic, identity switching, rose ordering tendencies!  She’s normal. 

 

Then there has to be some way to explain THIS WIG.  “There is.  Her name is Kelly,” says Phyllis.  Is he supposed to believe she broke in and planted it there?  “Why not?  Too extreme?”  Jack’s like, uhhh, YEAH, it’s too extreme!!  Oh, but Phyllis planning a setup to catch him bed with his ex-lover ISN’T?  Jack looks defeated.  Of course that also sounds absolutely ridiculous.  When has Phyllis ever plotted revenge like THAT?  The evil Red Rose plot is too much to think about anymore, he’s going to the office.  He has a meeting, and they can talk about [your brain damage] all this later.  But everything’s going to be okay, he promises.  He leaves, and Phyllis calls someone she needs to see, now.

 

Chelsea offers Adam any sketches he needs to use for the marketing campaign.  Oh my goodness, he’s not likely to forget any of these completely unique, original, fun designs!!!  She sure makes doing all this and taking care of Connor look EASY.  Well, she has help.  She has piles of your money, and a nanny, and her mom, and BILLY, of course.  He’s so good with Connor!  “Is he?” says Adam.  He twitches a bit in suppressed frustration before adding that it must be hard for him.  “Didn’t you say Connor’s father is responsible for what happened to Billy’s daughter?”  Chelsea stares at him.  “Yeah,” she finally says uncomfortably. 

 

Adam says it’s tragic.  “Tragic doesn’t begin to describe what Billy and Delia’s mother have been through,” she says.  Adam gingerly forges ahead.  “It’s been difficult for you, too,” he observes.  It’s got to be devastating, knowing that somebody she loves did something so terrible… and knowing that eventually she’s going to have to tell Connor the truth about his father.  Chelsea says it’s up to HER to make sure that Connor knows there was so much more to his father than ONE terrible mistake.  There were LOTS of terrible mistakes.  A lot of people wouldn’t feel that way, he says.  “Well, a lot of people didn’t know Adam!” she says defensively.  Adam looks like he knows he’s pushing it, but says it sorta sounds like she forgives him?  She stares some more.  Gabe sure asks a lot of personal questions.

 

Victoria shows up in Victor’s office.  “I assume you’ve heard the accusations surrounding your father?”  She doesn’t believe for one second he had Dylan beaten up, but she is still upset.  HOW could he sell the property Crimson Lights is sitting on?  That consortium will tear it down and redevelop the whole entire area into something better!  Sweetheart, this is business, K?  Well, think of some other business that doesn’t hurt Mom and Dylan.  Victor says he offered Dylan a lot of money, like A LOT lot, okay, to relocate his business somewhere else, and he turned it down like a big baby.  Vicky doesn’t think that’ll make Mom feel any better.  Can’t he find a different buyer that won’t demolish ALL the buildings, and just leave that one crappy section of it alone in the middle of the whole thing? 

 

Victor says there’s no time, this sale has to go through.  What’s the urgency?  Well, it’s right here on this laptop screen.  Bonaventure cost them tons of money.  The only asset their international conglomerate has to offset it is this local crap piece of property.  “Daddy, I have an idea that might offset some of the losses!  AND stick it to our arch rival at the same time!”  Well, he’d sure love to hear it.  “It’s a Brash’n’Sassy blast from the past!”  Omg, why didn’t I think of that?!  I was thinking dumb things like cutting back on expenses, like maybe a personal nurse for one kid.

 

Paul says the security cameras got two guys in ski masks and a partial make on the car, and a partial plate.  So, not much.  They’re still questioning potential eyewitnesses.  He gets a call, so Avery takes Dylan aside to patiently spell it out that he needs to take Paul’s suggestion and let someone else lead the fight against the project.  Dylan says that’s just not him.  He refuses to be bullied!  If he didn’t fight for What He Believes In, he wouldn’t be him.  “The man I fell in love with,” coos Avery.  Determined, brave, stubborn, childish, and boring.  They kiss, but Bad Guy Joe interrupts in his mafia coat.  Avery told him about the robbery, so he wanted to swing by and see if Dylan’s okay.  Dylan’s like, you went to see him??  Ummm, she thought he might be behind the attack.  And what does she think?  “Yeah, I’d love to hear the answer to that myself,” says Joe.

 

Avery says she’s always been a big believer in innocent until proven guilty.  “Good, because I’m innocent,” says Joe.  Yeah right, says Dylan.  Joe smugly tells Dylan that his DAD already sicced the cops on him, and they couldn’t find an ounce of evidence that points in his direction.   Dylan says Paul has to follow police protocol to turn up any evidence, except for all the times he doesn’t, but Dylan doesn’t have to.  “Wow, is that a threat?” smirks Joe.  Dylan shrugs.  “Well, good luck with that.  I hope you catch those guys.  Looks like you took a real beating,” he says with contempt, and walks away. Paul strolls back up.  He wants Dylan to look at the his own security footage and see if he recognizes anything. 

 

Avery walks over to Joe.  They need to get something straight about that kiss he laid on her.  “What, the one you didn’t tell your fiancé about?” he says conspiratorially.  “It can never happen again,” snaps Avery.  “I didn’t TELL him about it because he just came out of the hospital, and I don’t want him to reinjure himself when he BEATS THE HELL OUT OF YOU!”  Joe loves this.  “Wow, all this hostility.  I must have really riled something up inside of you.  The passion that we shared…maybe it never died.”  Avery’s like, yeah, I barely remember it.  Hmm, remember that spa weekend when they didn’t leave their hotel suite that entire weekend.  “Remember that?”

 

Fake Flashback Time!  Avery and Joe are between the sheets, all out of breath from their amazing lovemaking.  They totally missed their massage appointment.  Avery laughs.  They have been married over a year, and somehow this still feels illegal.  Avery’s super into hot, sexy Joe.  “Promise me it’ll always be like this,” she says, “We’ll always make time for each other.”  You KNOW you’re the most important thing in the world to Joe, right?  “Am I?” she says doubtfully.  Let him prove it to her…with more kissing.

 

Joe’s been watching the whole flashback in Avery’s eyes.  “I was right.  I guess you do remember,” he purrs. 

 

So Victoria wants to revive her first big assignment, the Brash’n’Sassy cosmetics line.  Vicky was a super genius and invented the market for young girl cosmetics when she was just starting out.  I’m pretty sure that was Bonne Belle, but maybe they were just copying Newman Enterprises.  Using Victoria’s own lips brought them super success, and she thinks they can do it again.  Victoria’s lips can save the company!  Victoria’s lips can save Crimson Lights!!  Her lips are that amazing.   Victor muses that other companies are having success with legacy brands, so maybe this crazy idea of selling products to make money will work for them, too.  Victoria is SO smart that SHE is going to use social media to let the world know Brash’n’Sassy is BACK! 

 

And whatever Jabot is coming up with, they can give them some stiff competition, Vicky’s not worried about that!  Has Victor figured anything out about it yet?  Vaguely.  It’s some kind of fragrance.  Vicky doesn’t think that sounds very innovative.  It’s certainly not as innovative as dragging out her old ideas.  Victor’s sure there’s more to it than that.  They have buzzers on the door, for God’s sake.  Well, whatever they come up with, Super Victoria can MATCH IT.  Why invent things when you can copy them? 

 

Well, Victor needs her to do it quickly!  Chancellor is in financial dire straits! The vultures are circling.  Jack lets himself in.  “Speaking of which,” says Victor.  Victoria’s leaving, so Jack says he’ll see her at the christening next week.  “What do you mean?” grumbles Victor.  He thought Victoria was keeping this party very small!  “Oh, then you haven’t heard yet,” says Jack gleefully.  “Jack is going to be Katherine’s godfather,” says Vicky.  Victor takes off his glasses!  “WHAT?”

 

Chelsea continues pouring her heart out to Gabe,  maybe because she finds him unthreatening since he enjoys her fashion so much.  And Billy never lets her talk about Adam.  She tells Gabe she wouldn’t say she forgives Adam.  "But I don’t hate him either,” she says wistfully.  It’s just really complicated.  He’s sorry for bringing up painful memories.  She says it’s okay, it’s never very far from her mind. 

 

“Gabe” truly has to believe it must be more complicated than a simple hit and run.  “To do something like that and have no remorse…you’d have to be a complete monster.  And you loved him, right?  So he couldn’t have been all bad.”  Chelsea says he wasn’t.  He even made a video before his accident, and he swore he never saw Delia.  “You believe him?” asks Adam anxiously.  Chelsea sighs.  Adam was SO broken over what happened, the pain and the heartbreak over this little girl…she could see it in his face.  Adam’s nodding thoughtfully, like yes, yes.  “You could hear it in his voice!  He was SO tortured!”  Well, how could he not be, says Adam . 

 

“I BELIEVE him, I do.  I truly think he didn’t know he hit Delia that night.  I really think it was just a terrible, terrible accident,” she whispers.  But…covering it up was intentional.  Adam thinks he must have had his reasons.  Chelsea says he didn’t want to lose her or their son.  “But the ironic thing is, he ended up losing us anyway!” she cries.  It’s so unfair, because he got to say everything he needed to say, but she never did. “I STILL need answers!  And without those answers…I can’t forgive him.”  Adam’s holding back his emotions.  “What if you could confront your husband?   And ask him all those questions.  Would you be able to forgive him then?” he asks kind of desperately.  Chelsea ponders.

 

Adam feels like he might have overplayed it.  “I don’t know what I’m thinking sometimes.  I’m sorry to put you on the spot like that!  It’s none of my business.”  That always works on Chelsea.  It’s okay, she says it’s NICE to be able to talk about her husband, especially since he never knew Adam.  “Most of the people in this town like to pretend he never existed.”  And Billy just likes to gloat over his horrible, fiery death.  Adam takes that kind of hard.  He says it’s gotta be difficult to keep the memory of Connor’s father alive, and also honor Delia’s memory.  Chelsea says Delia was her best friend’s daughter.  “I loved Chloe, and I loved Delia.  But I loved Adam, too.”  Adam says it sounds like…part of her still does. 
Yeah, BUT.. Adam’s jaw twitches while Chelsea talks about how Adam let Delia’s corneas be donated to Connor, and saw Billy and Chloe’s suffering.  He hurt so many people by not coming forward!  “Including you,” says Adam.  “He didn’t trust me.  Or our love, apparently,” she says sadly.  “I’m sure he regrets that,” he says.  I mean, um, “I’m sure he’s a tormented soul out there somewhere,” he says looking tormented.  Chelsea says she doesn’t really believe in ghosts, but if there is such a thing, she’s sure Adam is wandering the earth with a lot of unfinished business.  Connor interrupts with some fussing, but then he points at Adam and says DA DA!  Oh Em Gee!  Chelsea’s jaw drops.  And Billy is lurking in the door.

 

“Why on earth would you choose JackAbbott to be your child’s godfather?” asks Victor.  Billy asked Jack, but Vicky has no objections.  Jack says he’s honored and  takes the responsibility of lording it over Victor quite seriously.  “That baby is a Newman and don’t you forget it!” growls Victor.  “She’s ALSO an Abbott, and I will be reminding my niece of that, as well as being a positive role model.”  Victor’s stunned. “YOU a positive role model?!  Givemeabreak! That’s laughable!”   Victoria sighs.  “Why the hell did you choose him to be of influence over Katherine’s life?!” he exclaims.  Vicky says she and Billy are doing what’s best for Katherine, which is allowing BOTH families involved in her life.  “What the hell does BillyAbbott know??  Nothing!”  Victoria has to get to work.  Brash’n’Sassy isn’t going to save Crimson Lights by itself.  She leaves.

 

Jack says Victor’s managed to deal with Abby being an unclean hybrid spawn all these years, surely he can do the same thing for Kate.   Victor doesn’t think he’s there to discuss familial bonds.  Nope.  “I came here to discuss what you did to MY family!” 

 

Avery says Joe’s memory’s a little cloudy, he left out a few things.  Because she remembers very CLEARLY what happened after that.  Flashback!  They’re still in bed, but Joe’s working a real estate deal on his cell phone.  She smiles when he finally says he’s gotta go.  But he’s just switching calls.  “Joe, you promised you weren’t going to work this weekend.”  Babe, it’ll just be a minute.  He gets out of bed to continue his call, while Avery’s face falls.   “And THAT’S what I remember about our marriage.”  Hours of sex plus phone calls. 

 

Joe says they had their problems, all couples do.  But they coulda worked them out, if it weren’t for--  “What?  DYLAN?!  Super Dylan did not destroy our marriage!”  If she would JUST give him a chance to make it up to her… “It’s too late!  I’ve moved on, you should, too!”  If he really means that he wants to stop the hurt, then end the attacks on Dylan and stay out of her life!  Joe already said he has no idea what happened here!  And the only hurt he wants to end is hers.  “Well, kissing me is NOT the way to do that!”  Well, if she changes her mind, she knows where to find  him. 

 

He walks out, past Phyllis.  “Who was THAT?”  Like she’s never seen a photo of him?  Avery angrily says that’s her ex-husband.  Seriously?  “THAT’S who you dumped?” she asks in disbelief.  IKR?  Heck, she would have taken him off your hands.   Avery asks what she wanted to speak to her about.  “Look, I need your help to lock someone up.”  I guess it’s a real shame the DA hates your guts.

 

Paul’s having Kevin check out all the cars Dylan didn’t recognize, and he’s got a friend in the FBI running all the DNA they could find in the whole shop through their gizmo.  I don’t know how masked, gloved men left a lot of DNA around, but every resource will be used to protect Super Dylan.  “Somebody tried to hurt My Son, I’m not going to let them get away with it.”  Unless it’s Austin.  Well, Dylan has a good idea of who it might be.

 

Victoria stops by.  They’re just, um..discussing the case.  “And my dad’s name came up?”  Dylan says she sounds surprised.  “Well, I mean, he’s innocent.”  Is he innocent of pulling a fast one on the warehouse property sale, too?  Well, that one’s not a crime.   “Look, Dad might not have disclosed everything, but he would never hire anyone to beat you up.  He would never do that.”   Paul and Super Dylan look at each other smugly.

 

Phyllis wants a restraining order against Kelly SO that she’ll violate it.  Avery thinks this sounds stupid and/or nuts.  There’s no guarantee Kelly would do that.  Phyllis says it’s worth a try.  Hello, Kelly has just as strong of a case of getting a restraining order against PHYLLIS, maybe stronger.  “Hey, whose side are you on?” pouts Phyllis.  Avery’s just trying to explain how reality works. 

 

All they know is that a blonde woman named Phyllis ordered flowers.  They have NO PROOF that Kelly planted the wig in her house.  Or that she sabotaged her car on NYE.  Phyllis, OTOH, has admitted to using Jack’s phone to lure her into his office, and she’s verbally attacked Kelly in front of witnesses at the club!  SHE is the one who can be seen as emotionally unstable!  Phyllis says she is NOT crazy.  Avery knows that.  “Then we cannot let this conniving witch get away with this!”  Avery is really worried.  If she doesn’t stop this, Kelly could sue HER for defamation.  Oh, come on.  Kelly is the one trying to convince everyone SHE is an unhinged, vindictive woman.  How…inaccurate.  “And it’s working.  She’s getting to Jack.”

 

“If you have come here to blame me for your family’s trouble, you can go now,” says Victor.  NOT until he tells Jack about this EXPERIMENTAL drug treatment that he had flooding her system.  “You told me yesterday that Phyllis was no longer my con-cern.”  If anything has happened to her, it damn sure IS his concern.  He wants to know WHAT drugs this bought doctor pumped into Phyllis.  More importantly, he wants to know about the SIDE EFFECTS.  “I want to know what you did to her!” because she’s crazier than she ever was before!!

 

Adam says Connor’s just confused about who his dad is.  Billy walks in and says Connor’s not confused at all.  He just saw Billy from waaaay across the room, and was talking to him.   Chelsea thinks that makes sense.  Adam smiles his “I hate you” smile and says he’s sure Billy’s right.  “I’m sure he knows exactly who his dad is.”  I’ve noticed Adam rubs his ear or tilts his head when he feels like punching Billy in the throat.

 

Dylan tells Avery that Victoria was there, and tried to convince him it wasn’t Victor.  “And you think it WAS Victor,” she says.  “And you think it’s Joe?  You said that’s why you went to see him.  Did anything else happen between the two of you?”  She remembers the kiss and the slap, and stares at Dylan.  She’s saved by his phone ringing.  It’s a henchman!  “Next time, you won’t be so lucky,” he says.  Click.  Avery asks who it was.  “I don’t know.  But this is far from over.”  Far, far, far from over.

 

I think Billy must really hate Bingham because he’s a head taller than him.  What is Bingham doing there anyway?  Standing around all tall like that?  Shouldn’t he be in the office working on that competitor analysis report Jack asked for.  Yeah, finished it.  Because he’s a Newman.  He just thought he’d come check out Chelsea’s latest designs so he could start a marketing campaign for it.  Wait til they stick you on Brash’n’Sassy.

 

“I don’t recall asking you to do that,” complains Billy.   “Well, you didn’t,” says Adam, probably because you are neither the head of marketing nor the fashion division.  But he just wants to stay ahead of the game, and do a really good job for Billy and Jack.  Phyllis is just off busy being crazy and brain damaged somewhere.  “Super. How ‘bout you get my approval next time,” chides Billy.   Adam tells Chelsea he’ll email her a proposal.  “You can send that to me,” says Billy.  “I’ll need to approve that, too,” says the Co-Co-CEO who doesn’t know what he’s doing five minutes from now.  Right, smiles Adam.  Sooo many throat punches in his account.

 

Adam gets his stuff together, and Chelsea pulls Billy aside.  WHAT is his problem with this guy??  Billy can’t put his finger on it!  It’s something about him, all this..working, and efficiency.  It’s suspicious!  Chelsea asks if maybe Billy is jealous?  Pffft, don’t be silly, he’s totally not jelly.  Then give the guy a break, asshole. 

 

Adam smiles at Connor.  “You’re smart, aren’t you?  You know exactly who your daddy is.  And soon everyone else will, too.” 

 

Victor throws up his hands.  Why is Jack is asking this question?  Phyllis was never the most stable person in the world.  “Phyllis has been…mercurial, I know.  But this is different!”  Victor asks in what way different?  Jack grimaces.  He’s not going to get into the details with YOU, Victor.  “Then why the hell are you here?” he asks, annoyed.  Because he wants to KNOW about this coma juice!  It’s not approved in this country, so maybe it’s hazardous!  Especially when you overdose someone on it in time to wreck Shick’s wedding.  Victor says Jack is just creating a problem.  Look, if he won’t help Jack or Phyllis, at least do it for SUMMER.  Fine, he’ll do it for the pwetty pwincess.  Here’s the number for that liar, Dr. Cutler.  Jack starts to leave, and Victor throws in,  “You’re welcome, Jack.” 

 

Phyllis is at home, stroking and grooming the Kelly wig.  Then she puts it on, and admires herself creepily in the mirror.  Cu-koo!

[Petunia13]

I think Billy must really hate Bingham because he’s a head taller than him.

the actor was in the basketball team on his university. Wait till he's in a scene with DeVON, Dylan, or Noah. Or Chloe if she ever comes back - LOL hobbit city.

Joe is getting on my nerves.

Doesn't starting/restarting a cosmetics line take a lot of capital? Money for production, testing, advertising, models? Stuff N-C is already lean on. So cutting costs, like Peach mentioned makes a fuck load more sense.

[Slowpokey]

the actor was in the basketball team on his university. Wait till he's in a scene with DeVON, Dylan, or Noah. Or Chloe if she ever comes back - LOL hobbit city.

Joe is getting on my nerves.

Doesn't starting/restarting a cosmetics line take a lot of capital? Money for production, testing, advertising, models? Stuff N-C is already lean on. So cutting costs, like Peach mentioned makes a fuck load more sense.

The same thing when JH is standing along side JM.  He makes him look like greasy roadkill! He is one tall good looking drink of water! ♥

[movinon]

 

Vicky says he’s a lot like her dad when it comes to defending his family and not getting caught.  Billy says HE goes after the bad guys.  Her dad, on the other hand, goes after anybody that gets in his way, like her brother.

 

I think Billy must really hate Bingham because he’s a head taller than him.  What is Bingham doing there anyway?  Standing around all tall like that?

Love both of these and can't decide between them so I posted them both.  There are a lot of shorter guys on this show, and JH and SE really point it out.  I know Victor is supposed to be almost as tall as them, but it sure doesn't look like it when he's standing next to Joe.  He needs a pair of Nikki's heels.

Edited January 24, 2015 by movinon

[Foghorn Leghorn]

 

He needs a pair of Nikki's heels.

 

And then Victor and Nikki can both do the Wiggins Walk!  LOL 

[miamama]

Red Roses™

 

Oh, Peach you are the best.

 

Kelly stares at a photo of herself with Jack.   “Maybe it’s done,” she says sadly, “but, Jack, you’re gonna realize, that Phyllis is the one who can’t be trusted.”

 

I believe Kelly said "It's not over" and so likely said "Baby" rather than "Maybe". I am ashamed to admit I notice these things. But this story has gripped me. Her saying it's not over is another clue that she's behind this scam/gaslighting whatever it is. Which is where I'm leaning at the moment.