Kate: Chrissy Metz

[atomationage]

Please use this topic for the discussion of the character and the actress.

[ShadowFacts]

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I also don't want them to turn her into one of those super confident, I-accept-myself-the-way-I-am women, taking on the world, throwing that proverbial hat into the air a'la Mary Tyler Moore.  I want them to keep her real and peel away the layers of her onion.  It's my experience that a lot of overweight women (and men) put on an act of fat self-acceptance and it's a bunch of bull.  

People are so afraid of fat shaming that they live in their own self-imposed make believe, pretend land that they're "cool" with their bodies the way they are, when they're not.  In fact, I suspect any minute now someone will chime into this thread proclaiming that I don't know what I'm talking about, because THEY are perfectly fine with being overweight, and THEY wouldn't change a thing.  I'm not buying it.  

I'm not saying you have to be stick skinny.  I'm saying that nobody wants to feel winded and out of breath from walking up and down their basement stairs.  Nobody wants to worry about fitting in a turnstile at the airport, seat on an airplane, ride at an amusement park.  Nobody is "cool" with feeling an occasional chest pain, or sweat pooling under their breast.  Nobody likes having to choose between unflattering, but affordable clothes or paying 3 times the price for something decent from a specialty shop that caters to the overweight consumers.  Nobody wants to struggle to tie their shoes, bathe, or perform the most basic of bodily functions.  I will never believe someone is truly happy being fat and I hate how in this day and age, when people are so afraid of being accused of fat shaming, they won't even attempt to address the issue.  They'll just pretend everything's fine as opposed to speaking real.

It would be okay with me if Kate put on an act of fat self-acceptance, because that would be real, it's a defense mechanism in some cases.  And I think acceptance instead of self-loathing is very key to making positive changes.  There is an article in the NY Times today about how fat shaming is a national topic now thanks to D. Trump.  It mentions that since two-thirds of Americans are now overweight or obese, one would think fat shaming would be on the decline, but no.  A study is cited where teasing young people about weight is a big driver of disordered eating and weight gain. 

There's a difference between addressing an issue and fat shaming.  I'm not even sure how much even a neutral, non-blaming approach is that helpful, because if reading about it and hearing about it and talking about it helped much, we'd all be normal weight by now.  Weight loss isn't so much the difficulty, it's the keeping if off that's tough.   It's very complicated, no easy answers, no magic bromides that help for everyone.  So I'll wait and see where they go with it. 

I will add that with little Kate, something other than eating is at play, as other posters have mentioned, since as a child with a mother monitoring her food, she doesn't have many opportunities outside of home to be bingeing.  Then over the years, she may have added layers of self-loathing which lead her to start self-medicating with food. 

[romantic idiot]

On a different note, can I just say, how gorgeous the actress, and thus Kate is? She's got such a lovely face, her eyebrows, her mouth. I think she's more beautiful than Piper Paribo (sp?) up on Notorious. Just beautiful. 

[random chance]

I think that there's overweight and then there's morbidly obese, and while fat-shaming anyone is bad, it's nuts to pretend that someone as overweight as Kate wouldn't have a drastically improved life if she lost a couple hundred pounds. And if that's the storyline they planned for her and the actor is on board, that's great - because losing weight is hard but how much harder could it be than carrying around a few extra hundred pounds with you every minute of the day? 

[luna1122]

I think she's beautiful too (my honey said 'she's big, but she's way too pretty for that guy'). And yes, she's obese. But you really think she has two hundred lbs to lose? what do you figure she weighs, 350-375 lbs? I don't think she's that big.

 

I expect the weight issue to be a factor in her storyline. I just hope it's not the ONLY factor. Plenty of fat people have plenty of other things going on in their lives, and are even happy, some of the time. Constant bemoaning and crying and fat-shaming herself cannot be all Kate is about. Please.

[random chance]

She looks like she'd be at least 400 pounds to me. No?

Edited September 30, 2016 by random chance

[atomationage]

10 minutes ago, random chance said:

She looks like she'd be at least 400 pounds to me. No?

That would depend on her height, and what the weight actually consists of.  If she has water retention, then yeah, well over 350 lbs.

[random chance]

27 minutes ago, luna1122 said:

I expect the weight issue to be a factor in her storyline. I just hope it's not the ONLY factor. Plenty of fat people have plenty of other things going on in their lives, and are even happy, some of the time. Constant bemoaning and crying and fat-shaming herself cannot be all Kate is about. Please.

Given that there are at least five people in the cast who will need separate arcs plus the writers are holding things back for their twists, probably none of the characters are going to be all that fleshed out. At least, not this season. Kevin will be pursuing a serious acting role, Randall will be dealing with bio-dad, Kate will be losing weight.

[luna1122]

I don't know. I wouldn't have put her at 400 lbs, but that pic makes me unsure. Maybe.

I get that they are unlikely to have multiple story arcs and deeply drawn characterizations, but define Kate's job and show her doing it. (Kevin's assistant? Let's at least SEE her doing it, which I assume would include more than getting drunk with him.) Give her a best friend. A cat. A dog.  A hobby. something besides 'i'm fat'. okay, I'll quit bemoaning this now. Hopefully they'll address this later.

[PRgal]

3 hours ago, atomationage said:

That would depend on her height, and what the weight actually consists of.  If she has water retention, then yeah, well over 350 lbs.

IMDB says Chrissy Metz is 5'5".  I can't REALLY tell how much she weighs - a person's weight can depend on bones, too.  I'm very light, thanks to genetics, and I probably look like I weigh more than I actually am.

[random chance]

Someone asked on the main thread what people get out of fat-shaming strangers or being concerned about them when it's their own business and so on, so I want to be clear: I am only talking about this because she's a fictional character and the actor who plays her agreed to this storyline. I would never fat-shame or concern-troll someone in real life. Someone's weight is their own business, and if they tell me they're trying to lose weight I will be supportive but that's it. I don't say boo about it if they give up, I don't make comments like "gee do you really need that candy bar," and I don't moan about how I need to lose five pounds to someone who needs to lose fifty. If Kate (and Chrissy) lose weight I'll be thrilled for them, but I'm not going to call up the actor and tell her that personally - she is never going to know I thought she should lose weight. (Well, unless she reads this thread.)

[PRgal]

1 minute ago, random chance said:

Someone asked on the main thread what people get out of fat-shaming strangers or being concerned about them when it's their own business and so on, so I want to be clear: I am only talking about this because she's a fictional character and the actor who plays her agreed to this storyline. I would never fat-shame or concern-troll someone in real life. Someone's weight is their own business, and if they tell me they're trying to lose weight I will be supportive but that's it. I don't say boo about it if they give up, I don't make comments like "gee do you really need that candy bar," and I don't moan about how I need to lose five pounds to someone who needs to lose fifty. If Kate (and Chrissy) lose weight I'll be thrilled for them, but I'm not going to call up the actor and tell her that personally - she is never going to know I thought she should lose weight. (Well, unless she reads this thread.)

Exactly.  I would be thrilled for someone who wanted to lose weight too.  I am not a fan of some body image activists who think all sizes are beautiful AND people don't need to lose weight - like ever.  But this isn't the thread for that.  :)

[SnoGirl]

I think Kate's bigger problem than her weight is her support system. I know there is a lot of storylines to be jungled, but man, she really needs some friends. Kevin is self-absorbed and Randall is on the otherside of the country.

I wish she didnt work out with Toby. I wish she worked out with a personal trainer. Her line of "Why are you losing the weight but I'm not?" makes me think she doesnt know what she's doing at the gym. As someone who has been working on dropping the pounds, I recognize that my knowledge is only going to get me so far and a trainer can help with that.

My hope for Kate is that she finds a friend in a workout class, who is non-judgemental and suppotive, which turns into a group of friends and maybe a love interest who actually sees her. But this isnt the Kate show, so who knows where her story will go.

[ClareWalks]

I am very interested in Kate's storyline and hope they keep it realistic, but I also hope that she seeks actual professional help. Not necessarily a therapist, although that could help with the childhood issues, but a trainer and a nutritionist would go a long way. My heart broke for her a bit when 1) she said she was "starving" at support group - a proper diet shouldn't make someone feel that hungry, ever, and 2) at the gym when her so-far-dickish boyfriend told her "we've been here long enough, come on" and made her leave in the middle of her cardio session. I hope she meets another motivated bigger gal at the gym and they become workout buddies. They can roll their eyes at the spandex-clad fitness models together!

[Tiger]

39 minutes ago, ClareWalks said:

I am very interested in Kate's storyline and hope they keep it realistic, but I also hope that she seeks actual professional help. Not necessarily a therapist, although that could help with the childhood issues, but a trainer and a nutritionist would go a long way. My heart broke for her a bit when 1) she said she was "starving" at support group - a proper diet shouldn't make someone feel that hungry, ever, and 2) at the gym when her so-far-dickish boyfriend told her "we've been here long enough, come on" and made her leave in the middle of her cardio session. I hope she meets another motivated bigger gal at the gym and they become workout buddies. They can roll their eyes at the spandex-clad fitness models together!

Starving yourself has actually been scientifically proven to make your body fat % increase because your body "thinks" it needs to store fat because its not being fed regularly.  

[random chance]

At some point in the past few months there was a study that debunked that, but unfortunately I didn't pay any attention to the specifics.

Being hungry is not the same thing as starving, though. And someone who was in the habit of eating past the point when they were actually hungry will have some adjusting to do when they cut back on calories.

[La Traviata]

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Quote

People are so afraid of fat shaming that they live in their own self-imposed make believe, pretend land that they're "cool" with their bodies the way they are, when they're not.  In fact, I suspect any minute now someone will chime into this thread proclaiming that I don't know what I'm talking about, because THEY are perfectly fine with being overweight, and THEY wouldn't change a thing.  I'm not buying it.  

I have never met one person like this.

Shaming fat people for not being ashamed enough that they're fat.  That's a new one for me.

As an overweight woman, I've had several men in my life tell me I'm fat.   Do you really think anyone lets a fat person forget how they look?  Because I really don't think that they do.

Most women I know - if not every single one - look great to me and yet constantly want to improve.  That's been my experience.  Honestly I think I would like to live in this fantasy world where women could possibly be okay with how they look.  Maybe in a few decades that might happen.

The person above (second quote) who quoted my post (first quote) in another thread obviously didn't understand my post by their response, and maybe part of that is my fault because the first sentence of mine they quoted was poorly written.   I'll try to rephrase it more specifically:  "People are so afraid of [being accused of] fat shaming that they [say nothing, which encourages the person with the weight problem to] live in their own self-imposed make believe, pretend land that they're "cool" with their bodies the way they are, when they're not.  Hopefully that makes it clearer.  I'm not shaming fat people.  I don't particularly agree with the concept of "shaming," but if we have to use that word, then if anything, I'm "shaming" the people who pretend that fat doesn't matter.  I'm "shaming" those who want you to just accept your fate and drift off into the ocean like Jack from Titanic.

We need to stop making it a crime to discuss the growing epidemic of obesity.   When it comes to children, we need to stop making them overweight in the first place.  YES, it's the parents fault if their child is overweight.  NO, I don't want to hear how nobody force fed that child, how they did it to themselves and so on.  Short of a rare medical condition causing a child to be overweight, the responsibility for a child's health falls on the parents.  The parents are the adults.  They buy the food.  They make it readily available.  They allow their children to live on soda, potato chips and sugary sweet cereals.  They allow their children to hibernate in front of a TV set, computer or video games all day.  It's 100% the parent's fault.

We need to stop fooling overweight children into thinking they don't have a problem, that they're perfect the way they are.  We need to stop placating children by telling them don't listen to so 'n so making fun of them at school because they're just jealous, you're smart, you're pretty, you're [fill-in-the-blank] and so their weight doesn't matter.  Comforting your child is fine -- and to be expected!  But convincing your child there isn't an issue that needs to be addressed is called denial.

We're the adults here.  We know better.  They don't.  They're looking to us for guidance.  Continuing to send the message to our children that being fat is A-OKAY is just plain cruel.  Overweight children are too young to know all the humiliation and horror that lies ahead of them if they continue down the road they're on.  They're too young to be afraid to sit on a chair because it might break.  They're too young to understand not fitting into a booth at a restaurant.  They're too young to understand how being overweight may jeopardize their future employment opportunities, and may impede romantic relationships.  They're too young to fully understand diabetes and other weight-related problems that arise from poor nutritional choices.  (No need to give me a lecture on how some children deal with juvenile diabetes every day.  I'm not saying kids are stupid.  I'm saying they're too young to FULLY UNDERSTAND, meaning: long term repercussions.)

I don't think any of us are saying a person has to be a size 2 or even size 12 here -- at least I know I'm not!  But being so overweight that you have to ride around in a cart when you go to a grocery store is something that deserves more than a "She has such a pretty face" comment.  It's scary.  And there but for the grace of God goes all of us.

The above poster's last sentence is one that particularly bothers me.  Hoping to live in a fantasy world where women could possibly be okay with how they look is, to me, just sad.  Really sad. 

[Tiger]

On 9/30/2016 at 7:25 PM, random chance said:

At some point in the past few months there was a study that debunked that, but unfortunately I didn't pay any attention to the specifics.

Being hungry is not the same thing as starving, though. And someone who was in the habit of eating past the point when they were actually hungry will have some adjusting to do when they cut back on calories.

Hmmm, well maybe part of the problem is that the science and medical communities are constantly changing their dietary guidance and often pulling a "whoops, that thing we told you to eat more of two years ago is actually really bad".  

[ShadowFacts]

11 hours ago, La Traviata said:

We need to stop making it a crime to discuss the growing epidemic of obesity.   When it comes to children, we need to stop making them overweight in the first place. 

Yes, this is really important.  Because it is soooo hard to lose and keep off weight, the best strategy is not to get overweight in the first place.

11 hours ago, La Traviata said:

We need to stop fooling overweight children into thinking they don't have a problem, that they're perfect the way they are.  We need to stop placating children by telling them don't listen to so 'n so making fun of them at school because they're just jealous, you're smart, you're pretty, you're [fill-in-the-blank] and so their weight doesn't matter.  Comforting your child is fine -- and to be expected!  But convincing your child there isn't an issue that needs to be addressed is called denial.

I partially agree here.  But there is a big difference between addressing an issue, and harping and nagging and making weight the #1 issue -- that is not helpful, makes children think they are not good, which can lead to self-soothing with more eating, altogether a vicious cycle.  It's a tricky business, being supportive and loving unconditionally, but needing to take steps that lead in a healthy direction.  If it was easy, we'd all be in fine shape, and two-thirds of us wouldn't be overweight or obese.  So I think there's lots of ground to be covered here with Kate and I'm wondering how they'll do it.

Oh, and being more hungry is common after exercising, especially for someone who is just starting out. 

[atomationage]

2 hours ago, Tiger said:

whoops, that thing we told you to eat more of two years ago is actually really bad"

IKR.  My rule is that bread is bad.  That works for me, but I know people who hardly ever eat bread that can't lose weight. 

[LakeLover]

When I was in high school, way back in the 70s, I was 5'6" and weighed 135 pounds. I thought I was fat. Not in an anorexic way (and my heart goes out to people who suffer with that) but compared to other girls, I thought I was fat, and so did my mother. I went to Weight Watchers. I drank skimmed milk, I exercised, I counted calories. I deprived myself. I was an athlete, too, so I was physically active and I had no bus, so walked about 1.25 miles to and from school. I didn't binge drink, and we didn't have junk in the house.

Fast forward to today - I've spent more time, money, and energy trying to lose 70 pounds than most moderately overweight people every dream of spending. I finally went to a functional medicine doctor and we did a ton of tests, only to find out amazing things about why it is so miserably difficult for me to lose weight. Yes, I can eat two slices of wheat bread, a slice of American cheese, and two eggs, and be physically hungry an hour later. As a poster upthread said, bread, cereal, and carbs are my mortal enemies.

Two of our three daughters are morbidly obese - they weren't as children - I cooked real food and we didn't have junk in the house - but when they hit about 18 years old, the weight piled on. Our middle one played soccer in two different leagues year round until she tore her ACL. It's not as though she was a lazy person. Two of their female cousins on my husband's side of the family had the same massive weight gain. There is more at work here than just "mom and dad didn't monitor what they ate" or that fat people don't know they're at risk for severe medical problems. Science is finding out more and more about what's happening with our bodies. Suffice it to say this is a recent phenomenon, since while we've always had heavy people, now we have enormously heavy people in our American society. There's something more going on than a lack of self control. Everyone who is morbidly obese knows it. It may be something they/we don't discuss, but trust me, they know.

[zxy556575]

On 9/30/2016 at 2:08 PM, PRgal said:

Someone asked on the main thread what people get out of fat-shaming strangers or being concerned about them when it's their own business...

Same reason strangers tell you what you should/shouldn't do about any number of things: while pregnant, raising your children, what to wear, say, and how to act. It's smug know-it-all-itis, although the advice-givers no doubt have convinced themselves that they're being helpful.

[random chance]

12 hours ago, Tiger said:

Hmmm, well maybe part of the problem is that the science and medical communities are constantly changing their dietary guidance and often pulling a "whoops, that thing we told you to eat more of two years ago is actually really bad".  

I think that's a huge part of the problem, because people live by their findings and then they can't figure out why they aren't losing weight when they're doing everything "right."  I mean how many years have we heard that starving ourselves just puts on more fat, so don't ever skip a meal? Then along comes the 2/5 diet with results that completely baffle all the weight-loss doctor experts, because for some reason skipping a meal is actually a weight-loss boost. And I just use that as an example because I was hearing about it all last summer - there are plenty of other fallacies out there that used to be rules. Exercise more! Unless you're a woman, because as it turns out this doesn't work for us like it does for men - exercise alone is not going to do it. (A study last year: women who added an hour of exercise a day and changed nothing else gained weight. And no, not muscle weight.) We burn fewer calories a day than scientists used to believe we did, exercise doesn't help as much as they thought it did, vegetables do not have negative calories, and so on.

9 hours ago, atomationage said:

IKR.  My rule is that bread is bad.  That works for me, but I know people who hardly ever eat bread that can't lose weight. 

It's sugar for me.

57 minutes ago, lordonia said:

Same reason strangers tell you what you should/shouldn't do about any number of things: while pregnant, raising your children, what to wear, say, and how to act. It's smug know-it-all-itis, although the advice-givers no doubt have convinced themselves that they're being helpful.

I don't think you read my entire post.

[romantic idiot]

Holy sh** people thought vegetables had negative calories? 

Regarding Kate I am also concerned about whether she was doing the proper exercises because I worried about her heart. At least she wasn't on a treadmill. 

Re: the poster who said that we've all got to wake up and start talking about losing extra weight? 'IMO for adults, that's what BFFs, aunts and doctors are for. 

[Tiger]

8 hours ago, romantic idiot said:

Holy sh** people thought vegetables had negative calories? 

Regarding Kate I am also concerned about whether she was doing the proper exercises because I worried about her heart. At least she wasn't on a treadmill. 

Re: the poster who said that we've all got to wake up and start talking about losing extra weight? 'IMO for adults, that's what BFFs, aunts and doctors are for. 

Allegedly, there are some veggies that have such a low calorie count that you burn more calories chewing the veggies than the veggies. Allegedly.

[atomationage]

8 minutes ago, Tiger said:

Allegedly.

I would put kale in that category if you chew on the stems.  I've got to get some kale.  Probably raw celery also. 

[random chance]

It was a myth. A sad, sad myth for me since I love vegetables. 

Quote

Link

Simply put, the term “negative calories” refers to food that takes more calories to process than it delivers.  Take celery, the usual example of a “negative calorie” food.  It wastes its calories first with mastication, then intestinal churning, only to have the fibers slip out the back door. [...] But in actuality, there are really no “negative calorie” foods that offer the body zero minus whatever calories.  Calories wasted in extracting nutrients are already considered in calculating the Thermic Effect of Food (TEF).

[chocolatine]

Also, most people don't just eat raw vegetables. You put them into a salad with dressing and toppings, sauté them in oil/butter, dip them in hummus, etc. Those calories add up.

[random chance]

Well of course, but this wasn't a theory that vegetables negated the calories in butter, only the calories in themselves.

[atomationage]

My theory is that everything that's in the door of the refrigerator are just extra calories that we put on things.  I use them sometimes, but I try to buy things that I like the taste of, instead of sticking extra calories on them.  

[ClareWalks]

I am fortunate in that I inherited a love of vinegar from my mom, so I can use that to flavor my veggies in a pinch. My husband started dipping his carrots in hot mustard and he is enjoying it greatly.

[PRgal]

19 hours ago, ClareWalks said:

I am fortunate in that I inherited a love of vinegar from my mom, so I can use that to flavor my veggies in a pinch. My husband started dipping his carrots in hot mustard and he is enjoying it greatly.

I love vinegar too (the only vinegar I ever regretted buying was a bottle of tomato vinegar.  It tasted like very bad (and very watery) ketchup.  And I like ketchup)!  I also got my husband to like olive oil, so we now make our own salad dressings.  We recently purchased a bottle of maple infused balsamic.  SO GOOD! :)

[AppleCore]

Can we talk about the scale She has in the bathroom? It's one of the old ones that only goes up to 280. I don't know if they have padding on the actress to ease her character's weight loss journey, but I know that that character is over 300 lbs. It totally took me out of the moment when they kept showing that scale. I think that the Hollywood twig creature who chose that scale thought that no one on earth could top out over 280 lbs.

Edited October 8, 2016 by AppleCore
grammar

[Tiger]

Regardless of weight, those things are notoriously inaccurate.

For example, I'm about 185, but on those type scales that Kate was using, I can step on it and itll say 195, step off, then step back on and and itll be 205, step off, back on again and itll read a third different number.

In 2016 she should be using a digital scale that can and should be recalibrated to ensure accuracy every few months.

Edited October 8, 2016 by Tiger

[juliet73]

On 9/30/2016 at 5:15 PM, ClareWalks said:

I am very interested in Kate's storyline and hope they keep it realistic, but I also hope that she seeks actual professional help. Not necessarily a therapist, although that could help with the childhood issues, but a trainer and a nutritionist would go a long way. My heart broke for her a bit when 1) she said she was "starving" at support group - a proper diet shouldn't make someone feel that hungry, ever. 

My personal experience/opinion: she's not "starving". Her body probably isn't even hungry. She's just so used to eating, that she doesn't know what to do with that empty void (non eating time) now.  Normally people her size are way past the point of feeling hunger.  It takes many months (even longer) to retrain your brain and/or listen to your body.  Not just for hunger cues, but more importantly, when to stop eating. I'm totally on board if majority of her storyline is about her weight. I think that reflects the real world and many people, especially women can relate.  IMO,  if you are attending support groups, writing notes on your food, taking off your jewelry to weigh yourself, know the calories of your food and drinks, etc you're spend majority of your time obsessing about your weight (thin or fat).  

[random chance]

I think it's like when you quit smoking and your muscle memory keeps wanting to shake a cigarette out of a pack and light it. It takes awhile to figure out something new to do with your hands.

[PRgal]

I'm not sure if I should be posting here or in the media thread, but this was in the Toronto Star today:

 

This Is Us scrutinized for treatment of overweight character

My problem is this:  There have only been two episodes, so why are we criticizing now?  Couldn't this have waited a few more weeks?

Edited October 10, 2016 by PRgal

[chocolatine]

5 hours ago, PRgal said:

This Is Us scrutinized for treatment of overweight character

My problem is this:  There have only been two episodes, so why are we criticizing now?  Couldn't this have waited a few more weeks?

My problem with articles like this in general is that they make fat a political issue. Like there should be only one, politically correct way to depict overweight people on television, which I think is BS. 

[taragel]

I'm torn about Kate's storyline and in general the way overweight/obese folks are depicted in media. Part of me thinks the ideal fat fictional character is Sookie on Gilmore Girls. I didn't watch it religiously but I don't remember one single storyline that revolved around her weight. She had a successful job/passion for her work, a best friend, a love life/husband/family, and a great sense of humor. I do remember (I think) some small moments of insecurity (especially revolving around romancing Jackson in the early seasons) but I don't recall if those were even specifically weight-based. Then again....she wasn't a lead character. We didn't get inside Sookie's inner life very much. And you also need a lot of story space if you're going to properly tackle an issue as big (no pun intended) as weight/body issues etc.

But, on the other hand, I've been as big as or almost as big as Chrissy Metz in the past (for the curious, she probably weighs between 370-420--everyone carries weight VERY differently!) and that one line she said about "Everything is about the weight for me at this size" was fantastic, but is simultaneously both very true and also not true. It is true that you have to compensate for your weight and think about things other, skinnier people won't bat an eye at (like whether you'll fit into a chair with arms or a booth at a restaurant, or if you'll need to ask for a seat belt extender on a flight, etc.), and you're reminded by how fat you are when those moments crop up (or some jerk makes a fat-shaming comment or noise or what have you), which can be more often if you're going out and trying new things and going new places like Kate is currently doing. But there are also major components of your life that usually don't involve weight or thinking of weight. In fact, most of your life is usually designed around (IMO) not having to think about your weight, because you don't go places you know you'll be uncomfortable (like a chi chi Hollywood party).

It's a weird state of simultaneous denial and terrible awareness. I think Toby is encouraging and challenging Kate to put herself in new situations where there is the terrible status of being the fattest person in the room or having to wonder if that chair will hold you, etc. And that can be scary, but then she has to at some point, accept who she is in the moment so she can have a good time (as she did at the party--though it did require some tequila). So I think it kind of underlines that you actually NEED that weird balance of awareness/denial as a morbidly obese person. If you're aware 24/7, you'll probably feel depressed and miserable. If you're in denial 24/7, then you'll be happy but endangering your health. I think they're trying to give Kate a fair amount of realism, and a good balance here. She wants to lose the weight and is working toward that, but weight loss (especially if you have to lose 100-200 pounds) is a very slow process, and life doesn't just stop while that is going on.

So anyway I'm torn on whether or not I want them to focus so exclusively on her weight (which isn't unfair of them--for all three kids, we're not seeing much other than their predominant issue i.e. Kevin's career or Randall's birth father) or give her a more well-rounded happy life (How about a fulfilling job? How about some friends?) that I think is probably more realistic to who she would be if not a character on a TV show. No one chooses to mope about their lot in life continuously, generally speaking.

I also really really hate the idea that ALL people who are very fat have some traumatic childhood issue they're trying to hide from. (As far as I can tell, and I've done the therapy route, that wasn't the case for me. I like food a lot and used it as a reward/excitement, comfort from general everyday stress, etc. Once you've done that for a while, it can be VERY hard to combat head hunger and change your thinking/habits/attitude about food.) I think her mom and dad have been shown to be pretty good parents and tried to cope with it as best they could. I really liked the scene where young Kate said she'd only eaten fruit that day and mom knew that was bad and she'd caused it and said they'd try to strive for a healthy balance together. 

I do think the discussion upthread about what you need to do to lose weight successfully  and how the "rules" keep changing is spot on. I think blanket rules do not generally work for weight loss because it's so personal and different for everyone. Some people can lose by restricting carbs, others need to restrict fats. For some people, exercise makes a big difference; for others, not so much. 

[Enigma X]

I was trying to steer clear of this topic but couldn't. I have been on the the morbidly obese side and the anorexic skinny side and  then the obese side. All I can say is that I hope that some people who have personally been or currently are fat (even if not obese) are giving input on this story line.

I would honestly rather talk politics and religion (neither are fun topics) than talk weight because it is very raw for me, and many people think they know what is best for someone else, how they should behave, what behavior from others that they should accept, and many are pretty judgmental about it. I get it. Kate is a fictional character and this is what we as viewers do. Still, when you have been there done that or still doing that it becomes a bit much.

[Aloeonatable]

Quote

I was trying to steer clear of this topic but couldn't. I have been on the the morbidly obese side and the anorexic skinny side and  then the obese side. All I can say is that I hope that some people who have personally been or currently are fat (even if not obese) are giving input on this story line.

Dan Fogleman, the writer and creator of the show, said he based the Kate character on his sister, who is overweight. She consults for the show.

[NutMeg]

The actress playing Kate kills it with the range of emotions she displays.

I'm not comfortable talking about her character in terms of her weight because anything I would say about the character would also be true for the actress. But I like that, weight notwithstanding, she is one of the three and will hopefully be here for the duration. I want to see the character of Kate grow and I'm thinking personal growth here. Any potential weight development would come from the actress, not the character, and again I don't feel I should discuss this. But I like seeing an overweight woman on TV in something else than a comedy (where she would be played for jokes). I like both the actress and her character here, please keep on surprising me, show! 

In particular, I like the complexity of the Kate character. Embedded mantra that she has to be there for her twin brother. Their strong connection ("he's ok, so I'm ok"). The professional way she acted as his assistant the few seconds we saw of that. And her obvious bond with Randall too. Her amazing voice in the bathroom :) Her joy after singing in front of a life audience :)   

[random chance]

It would help to know how the actress felt about it. I'm assuming she knew that her storyline would start out with her saying she wanted to lose the weight, but that doesn't mean the storyline will be her actually losing the weight. Maybe it'll be her becoming happy with herself as she is. Or maybe it will be her just losing enough weight to take her out of the category of worrying if a chair would hold her, but not so much as to make her life miserable with self-deprivation.

 

[atomationage]

I think the actress should be able to be herself without any pressure to lose weight from the show. 

[ribboninthesky1]

I like Kate a lot.  Like others have expressed, I wish the show would have written her weight struggles differently. Particularly the Toby relationship.  I'm hoping he'll start to feel less like a railroader and more like the "life coach" he's apparently meant to be. Kate's been frank about who she is, and no one's forcing him to be with her. 

Also, I assume the pilot was filmed way before episodes 2 and 3.  Kate's relationship with Kevin felt differently in the pilot, like he'd drop anything for her as much as she would for him.  But episodes 2 and 3 felt as if they dropped it to emphasize codependency, particularly on Kate's part.  It bugs.

[Ms Blue Jay]

On 10/1/2016 at 9:55 AM, La Traviata said:

The above poster's last sentence is one that particularly bothers me.  Hoping to live in a fantasy world where women could possibly be okay with how they look is, to me, just sad.  Really sad. 

It was me who said that.  What's sad about it?  Maybe I'm misunderstanding you again.

Am I sad for wishing for that?  Do you think a lot of women feel good about how they look?  Do you know any?  I DO wish to live in a world where women were allowed to feel more okay about how they look.  (Are you saying that you do not?  Because trust me, you don't currently live in one.)  And I will reiterate what I said which is I hope that in a couple of decades things will be better than they are now.  I'm sure you notice how women in the media are judged for their looks in ways that men in the media are not.  That's just one part of the problem.  In my experience unless a woman looks 'perfect' in the eyes of society she is treated pretty poorly, and the women who look 'perfect' in the eyes of society are treated poorly in other ways.  The main point is this: women are judged on how they look, and how women look is considered far, far too important right now.  Way disproportionately to how important it SHOULD be in my opinion.

None of this is to say that being 400 lbs is great or anything.  Not at all.  Just that I wish it was more okay in society to be an imperfect looking woman.  For example, I think it's a lot more okay to be an imperfect looking man, and I think men's looks are ignored a lot of the time, unless they are crazily extraordinary in some way.

Edited October 14, 2016 by Ms Blue Jay

[random chance]

1 hour ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

None of this is to say that being 400 lbs is great or anything.  Not at all.  Just that I wish it was more okay in society to be an imperfect looking woman.  For example, I think it's a lot more okay to be an imperfect looking man, and I think men's looks are ignored a lot of the time, unless they are crazily extraordinary in some way.

I couldn't agree more. And with every scientific advance, what we're required to do just to keep up gets more tedious, expensive and time-consuming. Whiten your teeth! Wax everything! Botox! Body sculpting! Hair extensions, mani-peddies, eyelash-growing serum, lip injections, it's endless.

[Tiger]

You all need to stop with the botox, hair extensions, fake eyelashes, fake nails, and lip injections . . . a lot of you are looking like drag queens.

Not that there's anything wrong with drag queens, but seriously.

[DearEvette]

From the couple of interviews Ive seen the actress herself does not seem to be preoccupied with weight at all.  She seems very positive and comfortable. I've only ever heard her say that she's happy to be able to show another type on body image on screen.  I think she told one anecdote where the producers asked her if she had an issue with the unclothed scene in the pilot and she basically said "bring it on."

She has also mentioned that the story about Kate isn't just about her weight.  But the weight is a symptom of bigger issues.  And they'll peel those back as the season goes on that is where her story is going to shift its focus toward.

[PRgal]

50 minutes ago, Tiger said:

You all need to stop with the botox, hair extensions, fake eyelashes, fake nails, and lip injections . . . a lot of you are looking like drag queens.

Not that there's anything wrong with drag queens, but seriously.

I made that sort of comment during the Emmys - that many of the women were kind of...orange (skin) and bleached (hair).