All Episodes Talk: All Rise

Spunkygal · November 12, 2015

Teebax, I have the perfect honeymoon idea for you! At the end of today's noon repeat regarding the fake Hermes handbag, there was a crawl at the bottom of the screen to go to JJ's Facebook page and enter to win a chance to meet JJ in LA. I went to the page and sure enough, you submit a 250 word essay explaining what lessons you have learned from JJ! No kidding! Can you think of any better way to begin your marriage? I think I can compile all the post of fellow JJ'ers and come up with a damn good entry.

teebax · November 12, 2015

Teebax, I have the perfect honeymoon idea for you! At the end of today's noon repeat regarding the fake Hermes handbag, there was a crawl at the bottom of the screen to go to JJ's Facebook page and enter to win a chance to meet JJ in LA. I went to the page and sure enough, you submit a 250 word essay explaining what lessons you have learned from JJ! No kidding! Can you think of any better way to begin your marriage? I think I can compile all the post of fellow JJ'ers and come up with a damn good entry.

I haven't watched yet today, so I didn't know about this contest. I'm still shirking my viewing duties as I transform into a bridezilla litigant worthy of JJ's attention, but I am definitely going to enter.

Sadly, my betrothed is not a JJ fan. She thinks JJ is mean and condescending (kinda the point, right?) She prefers MM on the people's court. She'll watch JJ with me, but she won't watch it in a marathon session like I like to. She'll sit through one or two and then make me leave the house with her to go do something productive. If I were to win this contest, I'd probably just invite one of you.

SandyToes · November 12, 2015

OMG! In honor of teebax's big news, there's a wedding planner case on right this very minute! The powers that be must be reading!! But holy moley, what hair. Lily Munster is the bride.

And now that your wedding is planned (whew!), it's time for the shower gifts! I offer you this (virtual) espresso machine, in honor of Shannon Five-Shots.

Edited November 12, 2015 by SandyToes

Toaster Strudel · November 12, 2015

I respectfully submit the URL of the contest - feel free to enter to say that Toaster Strudel must win if there is justice in the world:

https://www.facebook.com/JudgeJudy/app_1145939555433918

Edited November 12, 2015 by Toaster Strudel

pagooey · November 12, 2015

Aw, crap, I was being so creative and hilarious, and then the internet ate my post. I want $5K for my pain and suffering.

Congratulations and best wishes to the future Mrses teebaxes! Can I bring a plastic drum of cheez balls as my plus one? I will buckle it securely into a seat on my low-rent, bait-and-switch Party Bus, because safety first! And my sister's boyfriend's mother-in-law's cousin does hair, so I can hook you up to make sure you look your best on your big day. I recommend a wig or a weave, whatever your current style is--the more hurr, the better, amirite?

I don't post often, but I love this board. Hugs to all y'all!

Arjay · November 12, 2015

Teebax, sincere congratulations and best wishes to you and your bride.

AngelaHunter · November 12, 2015

Sadly, my betrothed is not a JJ fan. She thinks JJ is mean and condescending

Well, that's going to have to change. She hasn't watched enough MM, then. She can slice and dice someone with even more virulence than JJ, and the best part is that she lulls them into a "we're all friends here" false sense of security before she blindsides them.

If you win the contest and get to meet JJ, please tell her she's my hero, okay? Oh, and don't open a joint bank account!

Sarcastico · November 12, 2015

And now that your wedding is planned (whew!), it's time for the shower gifts! I offer you this (virtual) espresso machine, in honor of Shannon Five-Shots.

I'm sending you a picture of a cell phone, courtesy of Kelly Filkins.

designing1 · November 12, 2015

I'm sending you a picture of a cell phone, courtesy of Kelly Filkins.

JJ actually referenced this case on today's show featuring an online Bitcoin-related scam. The studio audience was appropriately horrified.

Congrats to teebax and fiancee-of-teebax! Perhaps all attendees should be allowed to bring their dogs and have them run around unleashed. What could possibly go wrong?

Intocats · November 12, 2015

JJ actually referenced this case on today's show featuring an online Bitcoin-related scam. The studio audience was appropriately horrified.

Congrats to teebax and fiancee-of-teebax! Perhaps all attendees should be allowed to bring their dogs and have them run around unleashed. What could possibly go wrong?

Congratulations, Teebax and future wife-of-Teebax! If our dogs are invited, can I bring my Staffordshire Terrier? He hardly ever bites anyone, except once that neighbor kid...

You've never seen me, but you'll know me from the huge lip piercing and the butterfly tattoo on my chest. Oh, and my hoopty that was a gift, not a loan!

OhioSongbird · November 12, 2015

teebax.....I can come to your wedding after all. Can you borrow me the money (and I promise to pay you back when I get my income tax refund)? Just send me cash cause we don't need to bother with pesky money orders...or checks (I don't have a bank account anymore anyway. Somebody was using me as a middleman for defrauding folks with fake eBay sales).

And I can't drive out cause someone ran into the back of my car while I was just groovin' to my tunes so I'll be hopping the Greydog. Can I crash with you?

SoapDoc · November 12, 2015

Congratulations Teebax!

I was very excited today because Judge Judy mentioned one of our favorite cases -- the sale of the photo of the phone. I can't remember the lovely defendant in that case but now I want to see a clip. It was such a ridiculous case -- can anyone post a link? Thanks!

ETA: Kelly Filkins! Now I remember! Thank you 27bored!

Edited November 12, 2015 by SoapDoc

27bored · November 12, 2015

OK, first things first: Congrats to teebax! I'm really happy for you! I would attend your wedding, but...I think it'd be better if I didn't. See, we just got marriage equality back in June, and I'm afraid I might do something so ratchet that it causes the courts to change their mind. You do NOT need me to show up at your wedding, high on boonk, with a bag of half-eaten hot Cheetos and room temperature Remy wanting to sing "Drunk in Love" as your first song. I don't think y'all need that, so I'm just gonna take ten or fifteen seats if that's cool with you.

Ahem.

1st case: Trespassado...Been Out Riding Fences - The Defendant would NOT get to the fraggleknacking point, would he? Tell us about how you whooped the man's ass! All this jibber-jabber is unimportant. He kept saying the curse word that the plaintiff said as if that was enough of a cause for him to go start some shit with him. It's a good thing he doesn't live near me because I call my laptop a bunch of curse words almost every day. He'd probably think I was talking about his wife, and I wouldn't be, but I'd tell him that I was, because I am about that bullshit.

2nd case: Stark Behaving Bad - The Defendant seemed like a nice guy. Maybe not the brightest star, but he seemed to mean well. The plaintiff was being vindictive by not giving him the title to the car, and thus she's on the hook for the accident he had. It seemed right in a karmic sense to saddle her with the debt of the car accident, but if he had an accident and it was his fault, he still should've been liable. If he didn't have insurance, he shouldn't have been driving. Bottom line, point-blank, period. So it was right for the wrong reason...or wrong for the right reason...I don't know.

We be all night! Looooooove

3rd case: Bitcoin Blues - This case could've been a lot more interesting than it was. First of all, I love that JJ remembers the case with Kelly Filkins, the chick she was referring to who sold the woman two pictures of cell phones. That video is probably still on YouTube and last I checked, it had a bunch of views. JJ told Kelly Filkins that while she may weigh more, if she lives until she's a 150, she wont be as smart as she is in one finger. I couldn't really get a good read on what happened. I understand the plaintiff bought a truck, but first of all, if you're buying anything off eBay, why aren't you using Paypal? I thought that was, like, a requirement now. I think that was the catalyst for the eBay scammers back in the day who sold people bottles of water or pictures of shit...you still had people sending individuals money directly. But no way would I buy shit without a third-party who can reimburse me my money if there's any bullshit and investigate any online scammers. The defendant was...ugh. Isn't it funny how people who smoke a lot of pot look and act like they smoke a lot of pot? That's what's always funny when people talk about the War on Drugs or whatever -- not to get on my soapbox -- but the police don't have to wage a war to suss out people who get high...trust me it's all on your grill. You "day-trade bitcoin", you live in Portland, and you have a lot of hanky-panky going on with an account you had open for a month...oh yeah and you've been arrested twice for illegal distribution of marijuana and DWI. But it's the man who's on your ass? Riiiight. Anyway, I wonder what's gonna happen with this case since they're gonna report it to the police in Portland.

4th case: Trill Entertainment Presents... - Once upon a time there was a rapper named Lil Boosie, also known as Boosie Bad Azz, who has a high pitched voice, a GED, and a penchant for breaking the law. Boosie went to jail back in 2009 and got out last year and has been hard at work making a comeback. He's best known for his hit song "Zoom",the video for which you might've seen on EBT, er, BET, on the now-defunct "106 and Porch", uh, "Park". Apparently he also hits young women's cars and doesn't recall what happened, because he doesn't know if he was even there, and he doesn't know how to navigate the complicated set JJ has, and he wanted her to follow him to his insurance establishment to meet with a gentleman who...knows about his insurance? I don't know what the hell this case was. I almost don't even believe it happened. I think I imagined it.

That DUSSE is the shit, if I do say so myself...if I do say so myself...if I do say so myself...

5th case: Baby Daddy Drama - I was still a little fucked off the last case. so I don't quite know what the issue was. I just know that there was a lady named Shequoyah who has a baby daddy (because of course she does) who "verbally assaulted" Big Mama Morton, and I fault 'quoyah for that because everybody knows that when you're good to Mama, Mama's good to you. She didn't want to give her her rent money back since she had a restraining order put on her, and she threw her stuff away. And then she walked away...in white pants. Ladies, always remember: when you want to be taken seriously, make sure you wear white pants (make sure they cost under $20) and a low-cut blouse with your titties out. And if they look like two big toes after a fight? EVEN BETTER.

Fill the tub up half way then ride with my surfboard...

Edited November 12, 2015 by 27bored

SandyToes · November 12, 2015

Oh, my dog. That's too funny! Right on ALL points! I sort of dozed off before the Lil Boosie story, so was startled when I woke up and saw those biggy eyes and super funk pigtails staring at me. I really needed June Cleaver here to help, since she speaks Jive, cause I was lost. Hallterview was excellent.

califred · November 12, 2015

Omg I couldn't figure out case two or three, glad I'm not alone.

AngelaHunter · November 12, 2015

Thanks, 27bored. I'm going to watch soon and like to have preview, or warning, before I do.

I couldn't help wondering if Teebax is sorry she confided her plans to us, but then I thought "NO!" since she surely knew what to expect.

I really needed June Cleaver here to help,

OH! Nice one!

Edited November 12, 2015 by AngelaHunter

27bored · November 13, 2015

I couldn't help wondering if Teebax is sorry she confided her plans to us, but then I thought "NO!" since she surely knew what to expect.

Exactly. Teebax should be fully indoctrinated into our unique brand of ridiculousness. I think if we were on our best behavior she'd be a little disappointed. And especially with you, Mrs. Hunter, since we all know how you like to cut up.

Spunkygal · November 13, 2015

Regarding Lil Boosie, why in the hell would that lil lady, who we know is a mother because she just dropped her kid off, follow him (or anyone) anywhere? This could have ended in so many terrible ways.

teebax · November 13, 2015

A bay of EBay pigs reference from JJ herself. Have I died and gone to heaven?

Maybe I'll show that one to my girl in order to turn her into a fan. I told her my friends on the JJ board have offered a taco bar, mimosas, and cheese balls seat belted in for our reception and that we may have to "borrow" some money to you guys so you can come, and her only reaction was: "I thought you didn't want to have a reception." Of course, her reaction had me howling with laughter, so now I'm worried she thinks I may be a bit mental.

Did y'all catch the car accident case? I'm calling it The Man Who Wasn't There. That's the kind of idiot who would hit my car. I can't get hit by someone with actual insurance that's paid up; it would be an ass clown like this, bumping his music so loudly that he couldn't even hear me laying on my horn. He said in his hallterview that he isn't even sure if he was there for the accident. He may need to lay off the weed a wee bit.

Intocats · November 13, 2015

What, no love for the repeat episode featuring counterfeit Hermes bags? The plaintiff, Danielle Zilberg, even brought a handbag authenticating expert to testify for her. The defendant looked like a sweet young man who wouldn't know a real Hermes handbag from a paper sack. His girlfriend was very cute and reminded me of a young Janet Jackson.

I think that either the defendant's mom represented the handbag as authentic and asked her son to sell it, or she was snookered by the person who sold it to her and/or her ex-husband.

JJ's comments about how "a welder can't afford an authentic Hermes bag" were irritating. Welders can work lots of overtime and make darned good money, depending on where they work.

One thing is for sure...Designer bags are in JJ's wheelhouse! She was practically salivating over the authentic one that the plaintiff brought for comparison.

Rick Kitchen · November 13, 2015

I looked up Marlon Koland, BitCoin guy, but surprisingly, I didn't find any record of his being arrested for this case. He has, however, been arrested in the past in Oregon for sale of marijuana. The second charge also involved endangering a minor, though there was no explanation of that.

He also has a DUI in Minnesota

AngelaHunter · November 13, 2015

Once upon a time there was a rapper named Lil Boosie, also known as Boosie Bad Azz, who has a high pitched voice, a GED, and a penchant for breaking the law.

Okay, call me old but the first thing I thought was, "Is there going to be another L'il Rascals movie and is he auditioning for "Buckwheat"?

Byrd was getting irritated at being forced to walk him around and send him back to his place.

I looked up Marlon Koland

I'm surprised, because after all his convoluted bullshit stories, he admitted in the hall that he's a scammer.

JJ's comments about how "a welder can't afford an authentic Hermes bag" were irritating.

I agree with her. Even though my husband and I make good livings, there's no way we'd have the kind of disposible income floating around to burn on luxuries like designer bags. Really, not many regular working people do. And as mentioned, the ex had to support the wife and the dweeby son - a songwriter who has written no songs and a student who doesn't go to school. No 25K lying around for Hermes bags.

teebax · November 13, 2015

I agree with her. Even though my husband and I make good livings, there's no way we'd have the kind of disposible income floating around to burn on luxuries like designer bags. Really, not many regular working people do. And as mentioned, the ex had to support the wife and the dweeby son - a songwriter who has written no songs and a student who doesn't go to school. No 25K lying around for Hermes bags.

We can't afford one either, but that's because we define "afford" much differently from your average JJ litigant.

Afford, to us, means although we may have the cash or credit to purchase something, we have the sense to know our money is better spent elsewhere and needed for more important things.

The average JJ litigant thinks afford means you can either hustle someone into paying for it for you, rent it from a buy here, pay here place at exorbitant interest, or buy it when your tax refund comes since that's just free money anyway. Status symbols are more important than actual status. Having grown up poor, I totally get it. Like Jay Z said, "If you grew up with holes in your zapatos, you'd celebrate the minute you was having dough."

It took me years to figure out that no one of any real importance to me gave a shit about whose name was on anything I owned. Some people never figure it out. We call them litigants.

DebbieW · November 13, 2015

Congrats, Teebax! It's so exciting that your fiance axed and you excepted!

Being a grammar nazi, I'll be in charge of the invitations. I'll choose the color and style. I don't believe in contracts between friends, so you can pay me whatever, whenever, until I remember a verbal agreement that we made because you knew I had fallen on hard times and needed the cash. Don't worry, I truuuuuusssstttttt you!

Sarcastico · November 13, 2015

Teebax, it's time to get your trousseau in order. Queen Esther is lending your her hair ornament; it should anchor your veil in place nicely. And a classy broad like you will need a travelling suit when you leave for your honeymoon, just like the Princess of Wales or Princess Grace. Might I suggest Eurydice's nutria fur coat and matching fur handbag?

Edited November 13, 2015 by Sarcastico

Milz · November 13, 2015

I squealed when JJ referenced Ebay of Pigs in the bitcoin case. I loved the defendant's 'man in the middle' defense----kinda cheered for him because he was able to think of that while obviously stoned. (http://www.844bankbtc.com/bitcoin-man-in-the-middle-scam/)

I found this update from 2011 about Kelli Filkins http://my-life-in-brunei.blogspot.com/2011/10/kelli-filkins-later-years.html

AngelaHunter · November 13, 2015

Very interesting about the scam, milz. I was wondering exactly how it works and that seems to be exactly what that wormy little def. did. However, in the plaintiff we saw yet again(!) a mature person who has been around awhile, yet he rushed to buy some car from nebulous sources and handed over the money, just like that. It's just his good fortune to be chosen for this show, or he'd never have seen a dime of his money.

I guess I just can't over the number of people who think that because something is online it's genuine, or if a person has a website that they must be of impeccable character. It's very puzzling, since the internet is the greatest boon to scammers since the beginning of time.

Milz · November 13, 2015

Very interesting about the scam, milz. I was wondering exactly how it works and that seems to be exactly what that wormy little def. did. However, in the plaintiff we saw yet again(!) a mature person who has been around awhile, yet he rushed to buy some car from nebulous sources and handed over the money, just like that. It's just his good fortune to be chosen for this show, or he'd never have seen a dime of his money.

I guess I just can't over the number of people who think that because something is online it's genuine, or if a person has a website that they must be of impeccable character. It's very puzzling, since the internet is the greatest boon to scammers since the beginning of time.

I think some people fall for these scams because they're banking that it isn't a scam and they'll save money. I've purchased things online that I wasn't too happy with the quality (read: clothing). Luckily I purchased them from stores (not eBay) and returned them. So for me, spending the time to go to the physical store and look at (touch and feel) the physical object before I buy saves me the aggravation, disappointment and hassle of returning it.

But eBay of Pigs and this case is a good public service teaching moment for everyone who uses or is thinking about using bitcoin for purchases.

bad things are bad · November 13, 2015

since the internet is the greatest boon to scammers since the beginning of time.

But...everything on the Internet is TRUE. I read it on the Internet.

ItsHelloPattiagain · November 13, 2015

And my sister's boyfriend's mother-in-law's cousin does hair, so I can hook you up to make sure you look your best on your big day. I recommend a wig or a weave, whatever your current style is--the more hurr, the better, amirite?

The bigger the hair, the closer to God. . .

The defendant was...ugh. Isn't it funny how people who smoke a lot of pot look and act like they smoke a lot of pot?

***sings ala Michael Jackson **** "I'm startin' with the Man in the Middle, oh yea ****

I pulled my Publix receipt out of my purse just now because I had to write down what Mr. Permanently Baked said while I was watching - " It was fraudulent. . but it wasn't fraudulent". This is your brain on drugs, folks ***fried egg in a pan*** Actually the bitcoin thing sounded similar to those people who get a big check, deposit it and cash it and send some back while keeping a "finder's fee". In other words, a S-C-A-M.

I sort of dozed off before the Lil Boosie story, so was startled when I woke up and saw those biggy eyes and super funk pigtails staring at me. I really needed June Cleaver here to help, since she speaks Jive, cause I was lost.

Me thinks his pig tails were a little too tight, y'all. I was thinking Crazy Eyes and Flavor Flav had a love child right there.

I think that either the defendant's mom represented the handbag as authentic and asked her son to sell it, or she was snookered by the person who sold it to her and/or her ex-husband.

Chances are if you are buying a handbag out of the trunk of somebody's car, it's probably fake.

Intocats · November 13, 2015

We can't afford one either, but that's because we define "afford" much differently from your average JJ litigant.

Afford, to us, means although we may have the cash or credit to purchase something, we have the sense to know our money is better spent elsewhere and needed for more important things.

The average JJ litigant thinks afford means you can either hustle someone into paying for it for you, rent it from a buy here, pay here place at exorbitant interest, or buy it when your tax refund comes since that's just free money anyway. Status symbols are more important than actual status. Having grown up poor, I totally get it. Like Jay Z said, "If you grew up with holes in your zapatos, you'd celebrate the minute you was having dough."

It took me years to figure out that no one of any real importance to me gave a shit about whose name was on anything I owned. Some people never figure it out. We call them litigants.

Teebax, you said it far more eloquently than I could have.

dougfir · November 13, 2015

Congrats on the upcoming nuptials, teebax! The only advice I have is if you change your mind and do end up having a reception, be sure the Tupperware in which you store any leftovers is clearly marked as yours, lest you incur the wrath of http://my-life-in-br...ater-years.html

I'd heard she ended up going to the slammer but wasn't sure if it was true, so thanks for the update. Kelli wasn't the most evil litigant to ever stink up JJ's courtroom, but she was so damn smug and unrepentant that it was satisfying to see her get some comeuppance (looks like JJ made good on her threat to sic the IRS and CPS on her ass).

Edited November 13, 2015 by dougfir

Rick Kitchen · November 13, 2015

JJ is always threatening people with having their microphone cut off if they talk over her. Has that ever really happened?

Quof · November 13, 2015

Yes, at least twice that I can recall!

BubblingKettle · November 13, 2015

I missed the first several minutes of the first case....but in the remaining time, I learned that Judge Judy believes that her work is synonymous with a party. And the defendant was an angry drunk who bangs on doors. From what I saw, this was just a regular old case about dirtbags.

Ep. 1, Case 2

Two men went on a Carnival Cruise together, but for them, Carnival did not live up to its promise of "We Got Fun."

Man with very tiny mustache: "If you grab me again, I'm gonna hit ya upside your cabbage."

Man with flawless skin and dramatic posture: "There's no way this mint condition body is gonna get beat up by some old person off the Internet." And in the hallterview, he shared, "He's scrambled eggs. I'm quiche."

Ep. 2, Case 1

Al B. Sure (known today as Sherrad Bennard) was being sued by his ex-girlfriend for making false accusations about her busting up his car. The defendant, a big fan of Ralph Lauren's outlet merchandise (Evidence: the gigantic tat of the company's logo, equal to the size of the embroidered logos on deep discount shirts) moved on with someone else, and plaintiff Ms. Jones wanted to tell Al B. Sherrad how she felt about him night and day....night and day.... Sherrad had enough on his mind, though ---- he had a couple of girls trying to bust up his ride.

P. S. I love you, JJ camera operator for the close-up that corresponded to JJ's slam of the defendant's attire.

Ep. 2, Case 2

The plaintiffs were so incredibly filthy and stoned. The landlord claimed a hazmat suit was needed to enter the apartment --- WTF did he expect from those mangy weirdos? The girl, who had green and gray cornrows (the "I don't brush my hair" kind of rows) shot Judge Judy a nasty face when JJ asked if there were drugs in the apartment. But the landlord learned that he can't play tricks with the rent just because the renters are scuzzy.

27bored · November 13, 2015

Y'all...I...don't...really understand life right now. I...just don't understand things that happen.

1st case: I actually don't think the woman committed the crime she was being accused of. I don't think JJ knows how to get out of her own way. She's seen it all, so she's basically two or three steps ahead of the people before her. It's good to one extent, but sometimes she doesn't see things for what they are. If she was telling him, obviously upset, that he needs to tell his people that she didn't vandalize his car; why do you think he was right to tell the police that she did it? And by the way, if he knew it was her, why call the police in the first place? Why try to cut a deal with her? Why not go to court? Why even start the process if you "got love for her"? That sounds like bullshit. And if you've got a bunch of chicks you're running game on, it could've been any of them who Jazmine Sullivaned your car. And, for real, yo? You came to court in camo shorts?

2nd case: The chick with the turquoise-dirty blonde dreads reminds me of high school. She even had that misunderstood slouch and teenage bitchface like "uch, seriously?" I would like to be her friend, Fetty Wap dreads and all.

3rd case: Once upon a time there was a rapper named Beenie Man, and...oh my bad, that was yesterday. Dude, you're an alcoholic. If you know your baby mama needs you to come over so you can watch your kids so she can go to work the next morning, don't go out drinking with your friends. By the way, if you're drinking on a weekday with your friends, your friends? Are probably alcoholics. AND, let this be a lesson ladies and gentlemen: if you find yourself in public with both of your arms above your head, you really need to reassess your life at that moment. What is so important that both of your arms need to be above your head...on TV? I'm sure if you talk it through, you'll realize that something in your life has gone wrong and that you should not have your arms above your head.

4th case: Gay-Z vs. Nasssssss - "He's scrambled eggs and I'm quiche ... he's catfish and I'm shrimp". Y'know, the debate over which diss record was better -- "Takeover" or "Ether" -- has been going on for quite awhile. But it appears the debate between "Mint-Conditioned Bottom" and "Animated When I Talk" seems to have had a winner: ME! This case was funny as hell. You got a dude who looks like RuPaul without the Logo syndication, and a guy who looked like Joe Torre in twenty years with veneers that look like Barney the Dinosaur's, suing each other, in part, for...wait for it...not having a good time on their cruise. And the assault took place because one of them wanted the other to stop telling everybody that they're a couple. I mean...just summarize the case to yourself without laughing your ass off. I've tried and I can't. And when the plaintiff was in the hall saying he was, like, the bougie version of eggs and fish...I was almost crying.

When was the last time you stood around somewhere and said you are the fancy version of a food? Teebax?! Tell your fiancee that she's applesauce and you're apple tartlet and tell us what she says! For real. When my girlfriend gets off work I'm gonna be like, "you're lucky to have me because you're Dairy Queen Ice Cream Cake and I'm Baked Alaska..."

But for real. I literally howled when, after he did his food comparisons, the very next commercial that came on was for Eggland's Best.

AngelaHunter · November 13, 2015

lest you incur the wrath of this infamous JJ litigant

The Mysterious Case of theTupperware Lover will live on in infamy, along with eBay of Pigs, Kelly Filkins.

Thanks to our wonderful reviewers here. You always leave me panting to watch the insanity.

Teebax, with all the great advice and offers to help here, you must be totally set up for a wonderful day.

A final word: If you're planning to bitch that because the chicken was dry that you want back every cent you paid, don't take that case to JJ, 'kay?

OhioSongbird · November 14, 2015

Damn!...of all the days to miss JJ....these gems air. Gotta see 'Mr. Quiche" et al...

Anybody got a link? I'm too *ahem* relaxed to search....;-)

eta: I do eBay as well as my 'bricks and mortar' store and they won't let you do anything but PP.

Edited November 14, 2015 by OhioSongbird

AngelaHunter · November 14, 2015

QuoteQuote
You got a dude who looks like RuPaul without the Logo syndication

OMG! Maybe the love child of RuPaul and Gollum? Whatever Douglas is drinking or smoking to make him think he's all that, I want some. I was silently begging JJ to tell him to button his shirt up. I had no desire to see his bare, emaciated chicken chest. Ugh ugh!!!

QuoteQuote
The girl, who had green and gray cornrows

Kelsey was a horror show, and what she reminded me of most was the giant lady in "Bridge to Terebithia" only WAY grottier.

Edited November 14, 2015 by AngelaHunter

Rick Kitchen · November 14, 2015

Ep. 2, Case 2
The plaintiffs were so incredibly filthy and stoned. The landlord claimed a hazmat suit was needed to enter the apartment --- WTF did he expect from those mangy weirdos? The girl, who had green and gray cornrows (the "I don't brush my hair" kind of rows) shot Judge Judy a nasty face when JJ asked if there were drugs in the apartment. But the landlord learned that he can't play tricks with the rent just because the renters are scuzzy.

There was no way that girl wasn't on drugs while in the courtroom.

Brattinella · November 14, 2015

There was no way that girl wasn't on drugs while in the courtroom.

I agree 100%. She was on the nod.

One Tough Cookie · November 14, 2015

Congrats teebax ! Getting married AND a new job?!? My stress level would be off the charts. If you wanna to see real bridezillas simply go to weddingbee.com

I'll ask Mr. One More Time to handle security at your wedding, because a wedding isn't official without a few booze filled fights in the parking lot.

Mindymoo · November 14, 2015

Whelp, I missed today's cases because the news broke in about those terrible terrorist attacks in Paris. Then I got sucked into watching coverage for several hours. Sad, sad stuff. I am going to have to watch eBay of Pigs for a taste of JJ.

teebax · November 14, 2015

There was no way that girl wasn't on drugs while in the courtroom.

I was glad not to have smell-a-vision. Both of them looked like they stank. I'm not surprised they lived in total filth.

califred · November 14, 2015

I said to my husband if I rented to them I would assume drugs were around. She looked stoned in court.

27bored · November 14, 2015

I was glad not to have smell-a-vision. Both of them looked like they stank. I'm not surprised they lived in total filth.

So mean, so wrong, so unfair. So true! LOL.

SandyToes · November 14, 2015

Ms. ebay of Pigs is on display over in the Boob Tube thread. Enjoy!

Mr. Quiche, anyone? I also missed out due to events in Paris. One day I didn't mind missing JJ.. Wow. (But I'd still like to see that one!)

I did have the misfortune to see the green and grey dreadlocks. Those two looked like characters from Scooby Doo.

Spunkygal · November 14, 2015

I did have the misfortune to see the green and grey dreadlocks. Those two looked like characters from Scooby Doo.

Ouch! What an insult to Scooby Doo!

Jamoche · November 14, 2015

What, no love for the repeat episode featuring counterfeit Hermes bags? The plaintiff, Danielle Zilberg, even brought a handbag authenticating expert to testify for her.

My mom was a US Customs inspector- she had flyers on how to spot counterfeits. Back when I was in high school Louis Vuitton handbags had just become *super* popular, and I was amused to see how many of the more stuck-up girls had fakes. One big tell, at least back then, was that the real bags would never cut the pieces in a way that would cut off any of the LV logos.

basiltherat · November 14, 2015

Sorry to say, but the plaintiff on the Not-Love-Boat case looked like Obama's gay cousin (aka Mr. Quiche).

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