All Episodes Talk: All Rise

[Guest]

The Portrait of Googly Eyes continues to confuse and befuddle me.

 

I know there have been numerous opinions as to who Googly Eyes resembles but I swear I only see Alastair Sim from the 1950's Scrooge when she's in the audience.

[27bored]

Okay plenty of hate for the tree liars, however JJ REALLY twisted me off on this case.

 

JJ: "I can't read surveys"  "You don't have an expert surveyor here to testify"

 

Well, I call BS.  A survey is a legal document prepared especially for establishing property lines in case of litigation.  Refusing to look at a survey is as stupid as refusing to look at a lease because the lawyer that drew it up isn't in the courtroom.

 

Surveys are not rocket surgery, any dumbass can follow along with the info provided.  AND it's likely that the tree liars survey did show the trees in relationship to the property line. Trees would have been to the left or the right of the line, no engineering degree required.  The picture with the pipe showing the property line is a hell of a lot easier to falsify than a stamped survey.

 

It was so blatant that JJ had a hard on for the tree liars from get go, that she refused to look at very legal and commonly accepted form of evidence.

 

If indeed, she really wouldn't be able to read a survey, then her richass has no business owning dozens of properties.

 

Thank you.  I feel better.

 

I agree. I thought I was the only one who thought that "I don't know how to read a survey" bullshit was fucked up. I think the defendant would've had a little more to answer for had she fully considered what they were claiming. Why prune trees right down the middle? That was ugly and sloppy even if they were more on his property than theirs. That said, the husband was majorly p-whipped.

[NowVoyager]

Googly Eyes

This is the best I could get right now....but I'll try to snap something better soon!

I think that's a great screen grab, thank you CoolWhipLite! (Sooo many questions.....!) Edited April 14, 2015 by NowVoyager

[NowVoyager]

Can a mod use this picture to either put a pinned note at the top of this thread saying THIS is Googley Eyes! Or make a thread just for her with her picture? She is probably the most famous person here from JJ. I remember when I posted about my first sighting. Anyway, I just think it would help since every few weeks there is a What does Googley Eyes look like? or I SAW GOOGLEY EYES! and then posters say Who is Googley Eyes?

Mmm....! Good idea! A special place to indulge our obsession.

Edited April 14, 2015 by NowVoyager

[Guest]

I know there have been numerous opinions as to who Googly Eyes resembles but I swear I only see Alastair Sim from the 1950's Scrooge when she's in the audience.

I thought it was Rumer Willis who had fallen on hard times after a shortfall in her trust fund.

[zillabreeze]

 

I agree. I thought I was the only one who thought that "I don't know how to read a survey" bullshit was fucked up. I think the defendant would've had a little more to answer for had she fully considered what they were claiming. Why prune trees right down the middle? That was ugly and sloppy even if they were more on his property than theirs. That said, the husband was majorly p-whipped.

The Tree Liar prob was a lying ass. BUT.., to dis a legal doc pissed me off.  Betcha a cup of Starbucks , JJ can read a survey like a PhD Engineer when someone makes a little tire track next to one of her castles.

And yes, I think little smirking hippy boy wasn't completely forthcoming. There was was some bad neighbor ju-ju that had happened before. 

[DebbieW]

NowVoyager, this is a fabulous idea. The Post-Hallerview Restitution Fee. $1000. bonus dollars to the other side for each insult, name called or admission of truth that was omitted during the case. Full bonus $5000 for admission of guilt and showing that you perjured yourself in court.

Plus, a $5000 penalty, paid to each of us, if you retell the same bullshit story that JJ saw right through during your hallterview.  It's really annoying when they get out there and simply repeat everything they already said while claiming that JJ didn't give them a chance to present their case.

Edited April 15, 2015 by DebbieW

[teebax]

Any word on new episodes? My guide doesn't want to tell me anything about next week, although it's supposed to. These reruns are boring me!

[AngelaHunter]

These reruns are boring me!

 

Yes, me too, particularly because it seems only the cases with the most stupid, irritating and annoying litigants are being chosen. How many times does anyone want to listen to how a woman trashed someone's car with a baseball bat? Personally I'd rather never hear that stuff.

 

And the other day? All dog cases? I never wanted to watch those once, never mind twice.

[DoctorK]

Teebax - according to my listings (from Cox Cable) JJ and JM are both showing new episodes next week. However, I take this with a grain of salt, Cox listings are not always reliable.

[stephinmn]

The defendant is named Romance Cooke!

[AlleC17]

So many dog cases lately!  Very boring.  The one with that basset hound was very sad, but I applauded JJ in finding him a home.  If you can't afford a pet, or you don't have housing that allows for pets, don't get your child a pet.

 

Finding Googly Eyes during new episodes should be somewhat entertaining.

[stephinmn]

So many dog cases lately!  Very boring.  The one with that basset hound was very sad, but I applauded JJ in finding him a home.  If you can't afford a pet, or you don't have housing that allows for pets, don't get your child a pet.

 

Finding Googly Eyes during new episodes should be somewhat entertaining.

I think he originally DID have the money to afford the dog. He fell on hard times. He obviously loved (Daisy?) or he wouldn't have put her in a kennel but abandoned her to a shelter. I think JJ was at her best, finding Daisy an awesome home with someone on her staff AND the family had the opportunity to know where their dog is. I can't even begin to imagine having to rehome my dog, so I was sad for them, but hooray that Daisy will have a good life.

[califred]

Case today: Romance Cook and the lady who came to court in her mink and evening dress

[teebax]

Teebax - according to my listings (from Cox Cable) JJ and JM are both showing new episodes next week. However, I take this with a grain of salt, Cox listings are not always reliable.

Thank you for this. I'm still recording JJ each day, but as soon as I read the description of the episode and realize it's a repeat, I delete it. 

 

 

Yes, me too, particularly because it seems only the cases with the most stupid, irritating and annoying litigants are being chosen. How many times does anyone want to listen to how a woman trashed someone's car with a baseball bat? Personally I'd rather never hear that stuff.

 

And the other day? All dog cases? I never wanted to watch those once, never mind twice.

Agreed. She had some strong cases during the season, but they seem to only be re-airing the dog cases, which I really dislike. Like you, I generally don't get through dog cases when they're new, so I'm surely not going to watch them in re-runs.

 

TPC and Hot Bench are airing new episodes this week, so I was hoping JJ would. I guess I'll have to wait until Monday. Hopefully, Toaster will be back with the gavels!

[zillabreeze]

 

Hopefully, Toaster will be back with the gavels!

Right!  The Toaster reviews are often more entertaining than the cases!

[AlleC17]

I think he originally DID have the money to afford the dog. He fell on hard times. He obviously loved (Daisy?) or he wouldn't have put her in a kennel but abandoned her to a shelter. I think JJ was at her best, finding Daisy an awesome home with someone on her staff AND the family had the opportunity to know where their dog is. I can't even begin to imagine having to rehome my dog, so I was sad for them, but hooray that Daisy will have a good life.

Yeah, you are correct.  He did obviously love the dog, and going by the dog's reaction, it was mutual.  This was JJ at her best, I think.

 

The hair on both parties in the grandma/granddaughter case was mesmerizing, but not in a good way.  When JJ told the granddaughter again to stop playing with her hair, and then added that it was beautiful, I almost choked.  The granddaughter really has no sense of responsibility at all. 

Edited April 16, 2015 by AlleC17

[BubblingKettle]

I don't know why I do it to myself.....I know I hated some of these cases the first time around, and then I can't take my eyes off the reruns. 

 

Those three clowns from the first case PISSED ME OFF again....They annoyed me because they did not use the plural or the possessive form. ("I know what she look like; she my dog.")  Then, the poor Shitzu mix gets no vet care (even when carrying a litter/after having the litter), gets tossed around to people who don't know how to care for pets, and runs its tiny legs for 3 miles after birthing a litter.  And still, those frigging full-of-attitude chicks gave ZERO shits about what they did.  The chubby friend kept the three puppies (or, as she said, the three litters)????  Riiiiight. No doubt she stuck those pups on Craigslist and made money off of them. I HATE that JJ told the main plaintiff to take one of the puppies. Oh, and shutup and sit down, yellow-pantsed friend trying to make a TV debut.  Those shitheads don't deserve to have Sea Monkeys.

 

I loved how JJ got excited about the case, as it reminded her of a law school torts case.  I get excited like that when I talk about cases in my profession -- and I always interrupt my excitement with "Sorry, I'm a nerd - I love good cases!" I also loved how JJ sniffed that lady's BS within a few sentences and ruled on the case.

 

Second episode -- again, I watch these litigants that drove me nuts the first time around.  Danny Chandler, the defendant whose dog "just wanted to say hello," set off my creepy-meter...off the charts. I imagine him having thousands of plastic doll heads all over his house.

 

Oh God. The breast pump case.  I just can't.

[Ouisch]

Romance Cooke: Class Personified, you can tell just by the luxurious wig she couldn't stop playing with in court. If you Google her, you'll see that she's not only advertising (via nothing more than a butt photo) on a dating site, she was also arrested for something or other in December 2013. Oh, and she was registered on Babys R Us for a bundle of joy due in February 2014. I hope her memory improved from its "Yeah, I paid those tickets. Well, no not really, I guess" state when it comes to feeding and caring for her baby.

[califred]

There is a difference between a lactation nurse and a lactating nurse.

[Trini]

Wait, THAT'S Googly Eyes? I don't think I've ever noticed her. I thought y'all were talking about another ever-present audience member! (One with glasses.)

Edited April 17, 2015 by Trini

[Mybrainhurts]

Since we're still in repeats, I entertain myself by looking for Googly Eyes in the audience.  When I spotted her today, I yelled "Googly Eyes!!" and then had to explain to my wife what the hell I was talking about.  Let's just say my wife can't wait for new shows now so I don't do this anymore.

[AngelaHunter]

They annoyed me because they did not use the plural or the possessive form. ("I know what she look like; she my dog.")

 

I didn't watch any JJ yesterday. As soon as I saw the titles I decided to skip all the episodes. I wonder if someone from the show pops in here, sees us bitching about dog eps and thinks, "I'll show those fuckerbitches!"

 

Anyway, those "She my dog" and "cousin car" really annoy me, as does "Mines",  "We goes", etc. All they have to do is take the "s" off those words and put them where they belong(s). Simple!.

 

I'm pretty sure they didn't learn this in school:

 

I goes

You goes

He go

We goes

They goes

[ItsHelloPattiagain]

 

Oh God. The breast pump case.  I just can't.

Oh God in spades. I wanted to slap the smug right off her face. I don't remember if I posted the first time this idiot "grandmother" case came around but she is so lucky that she has any visitation with her grandchild with her horrible attitude. She looks like a Dr. Phil case just waiting to happen. And all her uppity-ness about her $300 breast pump that's 14 years old? Technology has changed so much in the last 14 years, even with breast pumps. Last year my daughter had my granddaughter prematurely and they prescribed her a breast pump that was about the size of two tissue boxes on top of each other that didn't even make any noise. (this was the one she took home- not the hospital one - it cost about $500 and insurance covered it). 

What was that old bat going to use that breast pump for? She reading about the 65 year old pregnant lady and got inspired?  I guessing this will be just one of the ongoing power struggles she will have with her former daughter in law over the years.

[Taylorh2]

Probably so she can Ebay.it.

[AngelaHunter]

What was that old bat going to use that breast pump for? She reading about the 65 year old pregnant lady and got inspired?

 

Hahaha!

[Milz]

Probably so she can Ebay.it.

 

That sounds like another case for next season.

 

"The plaintiff Brenda McLumpkin is suing the defendant Anna Rosenberg for the price of a breast pump she bought from Anna. Brenda claims the "pump didn't". In turn, Anna is countersuing Brenda for loss of wages, mental anguish, slander, stress, a turkey club sandwich, and a whole lot of stuff you know judge Judy will dismiss."

[iwasish]

I think he originally DID have the money to afford the dog. He fell on hard times. He obviously loved (Daisy?) or he wouldn't have put her in a kennel but abandoned her to a shelter. I think JJ was at her best, finding Daisy an awesome home with someone on her staff AND the family had the opportunity to know where their dog is. I can't even begin to imagine having to rehome my dog, so I was sad for them, but hooray that Daisy will have a good life.

I had to hand it to the Kennel lady also. That dog was in perfect health, well fed, clean  groomed, it clearly was well taken care of.   

[Taylorh2]

This person that you guys refer to as "Googly eyes"  (I don't understand that name for her at all )

 

I saw her three different times today It was three different days because she was wearing different clothes each time I saw her. I wonder how she is able to be in the courtroom so much ? 

 

Do they get a paid ?

[AngelaHunter]

Do they get a paid ?

 

It's my understanding that the audience does get paid a minimal fee. My dream job!

[DebbieW]

Oh God. The breast pump case.  I just can't.

 

 

My 15 year old son indulges my JJ habit by staying in the room and reading a book while I watch.  When the whacked out breast pump plaintiff told JJ "You will hear me out," even my spawn put down his book and said "whoa".

[Taffy]

From another board I found this...

When I lived in LA I supplemented my income by being a "professional audience member." It's easy work, inside, air conditioned and you get a day's entertainment. Plus, you're paid cash at the end of the day. I was on Judge Judy, Judge Joe Brown and a whole slew of Greg Behrendt (the "He's Just Not That Into You" guy) shows.

Our day started around 8. We were told what to wear and where to show up. Typically you worked 3 shows, had a lunch break, then went back to finish the day. Between tapings we were moved around so the more obsessive viewers wouldn't notice the same audience members in the same seats for a whole week's worth of shows. Judge Joe was fun and chatty. He would take questions from us and joke around. Judge Judy would disappear back to her dressing room between tapings.

Fun fact: Looking at the Judge Joe set you'll see two doorways, one on either side of the bench. One goes to the Judge Judy set, the other goes to Divorce Court. The Magic of TV!

[teebax]

From another board I found this...

When I lived in LA I supplemented my income by being a "professional audience member." It's easy work, inside, air conditioned and you get a day's entertainment. Plus, you're paid cash at the end of the day. I was on Judge Judy, Judge Joe Brown and a whole slew of Greg Behrendt (the "He's Just Not That Into You" guy) shows.

Our day started around 8. We were told what to wear and where to show up. Typically you worked 3 shows, had a lunch break, then went back to finish the day. Between tapings we were moved around so the more obsessive viewers wouldn't notice the same audience members in the same seats for a whole week's worth of shows. Judge Joe was fun and chatty. He would take questions from us and joke around. Judge Judy would disappear back to her dressing room between tapings.

Fun fact: Looking at the Judge Joe set you'll see two doorways, one on either side of the bench. One goes to the Judge Judy set, the other goes to Divorce Court. The Magic of TV!

I can't stop laughing because I'm picturing one of JJ's litigants storming out through the wrong door and ending up in Joe Brown's courtroom. I'd pay money to see that, actually.

[AngelaHunter]

Quote

because I'm picturing one of JJ's litigants storming out through the wrong door and ending up in Joe Brown's courtroom. I'd pay money to see that, actually.

 

That would be. ..well, I haven't the words but yes, I would pay as well. Remember that one sulky moronic baby who DID try to storm out during a fit of pique and went straight into the corner next to JJ's bench? I noticed Byrd moved a little more quickly than usual to get him headed in the right direction. I wonder if The Door was there.

 

Thanks Taffy! That was interesting. If I could get a job like that I swear I'd move to LA.

 

ETA: Awhile back we had the case of the "disabled" guy who runs around town on a motor scooter. He was moving into the defendant's house but prior to moving in, he went over there and they got drunk on whisky - all drinking from the same bottle -  and got into an "altercation." Scooter guy accused def. of hitting him and stealing some of his stuff. He had a "caretaker" - a woman with a great name, something like "Layleen Cotton." I really need to know her name and I don't think that's right. If someone remembers what it was exactly I would appreciate it.

Edited April 19, 2015 by AngelaHunter

[califred]

Her name was Laylene Cauliflower

[AngelaHunter]

Her name was Laylene Cauliflower

 

OMG, thank you!

[designing1]

To be precise, her name was RaeRene Colliflower!

[AngelaHunter]

To be precise, her name was RaeRene Colliflower!

 

I wonder how I could have forgotten that.

 

Thanks.:)

[Brattinella]

To be precise, her name was RaeRene Colliflower!

 

Have we ever tried to compile a list of the best names on JJ?

[Milz]

Have we ever tried to compile a list of the best names on JJ?

 

Not to my knowledge. (Although the best name I've ever read on tv is Ozzie Bravo. He was on local tv news describing what he saw when the gyrocopter dude landed on the US Capitol grounds. When I read his name I thought "Gosh, what a great name for a rock band!")

[Toaster Strudel]

Dehydrated Litigants - My goodness, you would think that these litigants must have walked into the courtroom after a week in the desert sucking on cactus juices and eating sand, but no!  They lived near a body of water, judging by their irresponsible purchase of a boat.  It's possible that they drank the lake dry.  A  more prosaic explanation is meth/heroin dry mouth.  Of all things to buy, how did this unmarried couple end up sharing the buying of a boat?  They lost their jobs and couldn't get it out of the shop.  Some dialog from the defendant: "I have the boat in the shop, and it needs repairs, we need money," the loser asked his sister who looked somewhat possessed.  "Can you afford anything to pay on the boat?"  Neither JJ nor I believed this, but it turns out, dopey sister did in fact pay $800 on stupid boat!  This one is really 3 gavels, but I'll give it 4 gavels because I am so happy JJ is back!

 

Mumbling in the Dog House - Literally.  In an actual dog house.  I am pretty sure that these litigants were slurring their words on account of being drunk... another thirsty bunch, but the kind that's more interested in cheap vodka than water.  This case is pretty much about the plaintiff trying to cash in on a broken purse strap with a free trip to LA and a free meal.  I didn't know people could get disability for daily hangovers and call it migraines! 2 gavels.

 

We have a poem from Jude Judy:

People who lie,

Their mouths get dry!

 

Now we know why the water shall not be drunk.

Edited April 20, 2015 by Toaster Strudel

[Sarcastico]

 

This one is really 3 gavels, but I'll give it 4 gavels because I am so happy JJ is back!

 

And we're so happy you're back that we give you 5 digital, gold-plated gavels!

[Milz]

We have a poem from Jude Judy:

People who lie,

Their mouths get dry!

 

Now we know why the water shall not be drunk.

 

love it!

[Ouisch]

(Although the best name I've ever read on tv is Ozzie Bravo. He was on local tv news describing what he saw when the gyrocopter dude landed on the US Capitol grounds. When I read his name I thought "Gosh, what a great name for a rock band!")

 

The best name I've ever read on TV belongs to one Toppie Smellie, who used to feature on a commercial for Oven Fry chicken coating. 

 

I just caught up on some weekend reruns that I'd recorded a few weeks ago... one was the case a mom suing her adult son for the bail money and attorney fees she forked out after his third arrest for burglary or grand theft. Thirty-something son had four kids (three of his biologically, or however it's politely phrased) and was facing a lengthy sentence had mom not intervened with her financial support. But son didn't want to repay the money for some reason....mainly because "his mom didn't raise him, his grandma did! And his mom borrowed the money from his grandma to pay his bail!" His (recent) ex-wife was in the witness chair chiming in "She's never been a mother to him!" ??? So that means that despite any issues in their past, his mother saved his sorry posterior from doing 10-to-20 in The Joint, he shouldn't have to pay her back because he had a lousy childhood? The entitlement of some folks.....it baffles! 

[Brattinella]

*Still trying to breathe after reading "Toppie Smellie"*

[Brooklynista]

Bingo! I spotted Googly Eyes behind the defendant in today's Dehydrated Litigant case.

Now I can actually pay attention to the cases. My JJ watching had devolved into simply checking for horrible haircuts.

[BubblingKettle]

Mumbling in the Dog House - Literally.  In an actual dog house.

Oh, isn't it just SO funny when your significant other sleeps outside in a doghouse??!!  Yeah, it's not. But the dimwitted plaintiff thought it was great for laughs.  No, hon.  That's not funny; that's pathetic. You need to seriously check yourself if you're "in love" with someone who sleeps in a doghouse (and who mumbles, who wasn't alive in the 80's but sports an 80's haircut, who breaks your purse, etc.).

 

I'm not a fan of JJ's poem. I get a dry mouth when I'm nervous, even when I am telling the truth. I really hope her poem doesn't gain popularity/go viral/sweep the nation, because people will think I am quite the liar.  I might get a dry mouth just thinking about this.

[Toaster Strudel]

Don't worry, the poem only applies to her courtroom!

[AngelaHunter]

And we're so happy you're back that we give you 5 digital, gold-plated gavels!

 

Agreed, but I think that gavel may be counterfeit. Did you get it on EBay?

 

.  In an actual dog house.  I am pretty sure that these litigants were slurring their words on account of being drunk...

 

Static filled my head watching this and I'm pretty sure that's the permanent condition of these characters. She's disabled? For once, I can actually buy that. They left me speechless, as did the boat fools.

 

My favorite was actually the rerun, featuring Ricky Lee. Someone hold me back! Ricky Lee checks off all the boxes on my "Must Have" list:

 

1 - sports a huge beer belly and multiple chins that he can't camouflage with the fugly facial hair.

2 - scams someone to buy his 2004 Monte Carlo that has a lien on it

3 - has been to jail for dealing drugs(!!) Yes!

4 - sponges off his mommy and daddy, even though he's probably over fifty.

*Sigh*

 

Have we ever tried to compile a list of the best names on JJ?

 

Here's a few:

 

Eastasia

Treasure

Feather

Kazhmere

Limonia

Delight Wright

Latorias

Breezy Barendt

Avian Moses

Calvin Crum and sister Brandye Coots

LaTownsend

Dynastasia

Innocent Enware

Stanesha

Sparkle

Nakeda

Dream ("She's my dream!")

Gynnifer

Shampree

Fidney

Rafundia

Tratashia

Tyechina

Starwishi

Sir Patrick

Romance

and

Antiques (an-TEEK-kwez)

 

[BubblingKettle]

I think that list of names is the best part of my day.  Thank you, AngelaHunter!