S05.E12: Vince & Alyssa

[Tara Ariano]

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A guy hopes to shake his online ex, whose inappropriate behavior caused his real-life girlfriend to break up with him.

[Primetimer]

Vince's online ex-girlfriend is so clingy that Vince's real-life girlfriend broke up with him. Can Catfish help Vince and Alyssa meet for the first time so he can tell her to get lost in a way she can understand?

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[Racj82]

I swear man. Catfish stay making obese and lgbtq people look terrible. At least this one had a leg to stand on. Dude was shady as fuck. I just mean in general. The reveal is constantly those two types and not in flattering ways.

Look, I know I how how difficult it can be. I'm 280 lbs and 5'8. I've been a bigger guy most of my life. It's rough knowing that most women I'm interesting in would never even think of me in a romantic way. But, every time I see one of these reveals now, I'm just like "come on now".

Props for the little twist to this one. This wasn't like most of the others. But, man, I just wish people would focus on finding people that want them. That are right for them. Stop worrying about people that can't be bothered with the real you.

[truebluesmoky]

Max is the absolute best best best best. He is the reason I can't quit this show (that and Tara's recaps and live tweeting, the latter of which I've sadly been missing with the show airing at 9 instead of 10). I found it hilariously awful that on the same day that Nev and his girlfriend announced she was pregnant, this episode of Catfish aired in which Max had to school not just skeevy Vince but also NEV on what isn't acceptable when you're in a committed relationship and profess to be in love with someone. 

I was dying when Vince made that "throne of lies" crack and practically cuddled up to Nev, so freakin' pleased with himself and got NO reaction.

All hail King Max, who is totally over this show but is probably contractually obligated to keep trucking along and therefore has unleashed his DGAF attitude this season. Max is not playing along with your bullshit.

[Racj82]

39 minutes ago, truebluesmoky said:

Max is the absolute best best best best. He is the reason I can't quit this show (that and Tara's recaps and live tweeting, the latter of which I've sadly been missing with the show airing at 9 instead of 10). I found it hilariously awful that on the same day that Nev and his girlfriend announced she was pregnant, this episode of Catfish aired in which Max had to school not just skeevy Vince but also NEV on what isn't acceptable when you're in a committed relationship and profess to be in love with someone. 

I was dying when Vince made that "throne of lies" crack and practically cuddled up to Nev, so freakin' pleased with himself and got NO reaction.

All hail King Max, who is totally over this show but is probably contractually obligated to keep trucking along and therefore has unleashed his DGAF attitude this season. Max is not playing along with your bullshit.

Max never has time for the bullshit so I don't think it relates to anything involving him wanting to be gone. But, it's much appreciated. I don't even think Nev needed to be schooled but Nev so often feels the need to coddle the people involved. This aint the time for that.

[GaT]

Wow, Vince is not only an asshole, he's a moron too. Did he really think that the texts & emails he sent to Alyssa wouldn't come out? What exactly did he think was going to happen when he was on Catfish? And just the fact that the show couldn't contact him again after filming pretty much shows what a jerk he is. That said, as soon as I heard the whole Alyssa & breast cancer story with her “cousin” Miranda, I knew it was going to be Miranda all the time. I’m so glad that as soon as they got in the car Max said “he fell for the cancer stuff” I just shook my head when she said that she told the truth except for the pictures & then it turned out there was no mom dying of cancer & she didn't have breast cancer. Yeah, you never lied. Another episode where I can't care about either one of them.

[Major Bigtime]

I know one thing, if Nev ever calls me and says "Hi, I'm Nev from the show Catfish and we'd like to meet you." I'm hanging up. Fortunately, the chances of that happening are slim to none, but you never know.

[TwirlyGirly]

I empathize with Miranda, but here's the thing. She carried on this faux relationship for a year and a half, and also admitted to have been catfishing others from the age of 14. Perhaps instead of wasting so much time on the internet pursuing fake relationships, what if she spent that time on self-improvement?

I'm not fat-shaming here, because while I am fortunate not to have a problem with my weight, I certainly have plenty of friends who struggle. It's not all about the weight, because there are plenty of men who don't dismiss women as possible partners just because they are overweight. It is possible to be overweight and attractive, if you take the time to look for clothing that flatters your body type, find and maintain a hairstyle/hair color suitable for your skintone/features and face shape, learn how to use makeup and accessories to enhance your look, and work on your personality so that people will be drawn to you, want to spend time with you, and learn more about you and what you have to offer. You have to be willing to work with what you have and devote time to making sure you're presenting the best you possible. Even if you're thin and attractive, you can't expect other people to be interested in you if it appears you aren't interested in yourself.

It didn't appear Miranda has invested any time in any of those things. It may be her feelings of self-worth are so low, she can't. But if that's the case, then she needs to admit that to herself and get help - because that's the starting point if she truly wants to change her life.

[marny]

#TeamLiz

[TheVoicesToldMeTo]

9 hours ago, GaT said:

Did he really think that the texts & emails he sent to Alyssa wouldn't come out? What exactly did he think was going to happen when he was on Catfish?

Guys like Vince (and Thad, and that guy in Washington state who was catfished by his 4 year friend-with-benefits) are entitled and believe their actions have no consequences (and they probably never had, up until they volunteered to be on TV).  When other's actions impact them, on the other hand, they will cry victim.  How cringy was Vince's "castle of lies" comment in hindsight?

[kylies-lips]

What a deliciously messy story!

So no one is going to bring up the fact that the real Alyssa looked nothing like HER photos? Okay. I will. I think the photos Miranda had been using for the catfish profile must have been old because Alyssa looked much different than those photos--and it was more than just a difference in hair color.

 

I'm glad that Max brought up the fact that Miranda been using photos of a girl who was also struggling with her self esteem as well as depression and self harming. So many people think that because someone is conventionally attractive, they must automatically have the world on a platter. Not the case at all.

Vince was a jerk and I don't buy him wanting desperately to work things out with Liz. I think he got caught and then wanted to spin it like this catfish was ruining his life. He had obviously been keeping in contact with her as an option. If he really had wanted to get Miranda out of his life he could have deleted and blocked her and kept it moving. But he was sexting this person and allowing it to jeopardize his relationship with Liz. Who seemed like a reasonable, pleasant girl. She had a good head on her shoulders. And I LOVED her video chatting at the end with the sassy red lipstick letting Nev and Max know she found a new guy! Go girl!

I wish we would have learned more about what Miranda did for a living or if she was in school or something. She lived in a very rural area so I imagine she didn't have many friends or even any opportunities to meet new people. I'm sure that adds into the dependence of the internet to develop relationships.

[Glade]

I was so glad when Max shot down Miranda's attempt to use the cliche line 'everything else was true but the pictures.' NO IT WASN'T. I'm so sick of catfishes saying that when they've regularly lied about where they live, what they do for a living, made up fake friends and relatives, conjured up fake illnesses, pregnancies, deaths in the family, car accidents... Usually, lies lead to more lies. And Miranda admitted she was a long-term professional catfish with the same story we've heard a thousand times.  I don't think a plastic surgeon is really going to be able to do anything for her; she should look for a therapist who can help her work through these issues, and then maybe a dietician.

Edited May 12, 2016 by Glade

[GaT]

5 hours ago, TwirlyGirly said:

I empathize with Miranda, but here's the thing. She carried on this faux relationship for a year and a half, and also admitted to have been catfishing others from the age of 14. Perhaps instead of wasting so much time on the internet pursuing fake relationships, what if she spent that time on self-improvement?

I'm not fat-shaming here, because while I am fortunate not to have a problem with my weight, I certainly have plenty of friends who struggle. It's not all about the weight, because there are plenty of men who don't dismiss women as possible partners just because they are overweight. It is possible to be overweight and attractive, if you take the time to look for clothing that flatters your body type, find and maintain a hairstyle/hair color suitable for your skintone/features and face shape, learn how to use makeup and accessories to enhance your look, and work on your personality so that people will be drawn to you, want to spend time with you, and learn more about you and what you have to offer. You have to be willing to work with what you have and devote time to making sure you're presenting the best you possible. Even if you're thin and attractive, you can't expect other people to be interested in you if it appears you aren't interested in yourself.

It didn't appear Miranda has invested any time in any of those things. It may be her feelings of self-worth are so low, she can't. But if that's the case, then she needs to admit that to herself and get help - because that's the starting point if she truly wants to change her life.

But she found a plastic surgeon on snapchat! That should make it all better.

[RCharter]

Finally, a return to form for Catfish!  Just a tubby moron who thought someone way out of his league was into him.  

And this one was good because I didn't like anyone....so I didn't have to feel sympathy for anyone but Liz, and she will find a better man.

I mean...just so we're all clear.....Vince was interested in potentially having a relationship with "Alyssa" no matter how insane she was...until he saw she was fat.  No matter how much of a "throne of lies" she sat on, if she had been cute, he would have been sending her dick pics that night.

And I love the "you guys are making me look like a fucking asshole!"  Really, you didn't think she was going to have the dick pic messages locked and loaded?

But she was also incredibly unlikable.....with her smug look and shrug shoulders.

It is refreshing to have a Catfish where everyone sucks.

What kind of plastic surgeon advertises on Snapchat? 

[Empress1]

I didn't think she was that far out of his league, frankly. She was obese but he wasn't attractive. I DID think Liz was out of his league (although, girl, you didn't need all that makeup you had on at the end), but maybe pickings are slim where they are. (But then maybe not, because she moved on right away.) And they both had pretty awful personalities.

I loved how Max was like, "don't y'all be lumping me in with your fuckery." I love when Max gets frustrated by having to explain normal social conventions and behavior to people. You could tell when he was talking very slowly in the car, that he was like "This fool right here ..."

[LoneHaranguer]

2 hours ago, RCharter said:

No matter how much of a "throne of lies" she sat on, if she had been cute, he would have been sending her dick pics that night.

That reminds me, what happened to the guys calling them "Richard pics" so they wouldn't get censored?

[shelley1234]

Vince is so gross.  And he had two women fighting over him.  Eww.  

So he had a girlfriend....and did I get this right...is sending a dick pic to another girl?  

And what was Vince mad about worse...that Miranda lied or that he wasted his time sending his nether regions to a fat chick??  

He was so cocky...SHE NEEDS TO EXPLAIN HERSELF TO ME.  Until she started explaining and oops...made him look like a class A jerk.  Loved Max calling him out though.  I have a super uber crush on Max.  Maybe I can try to let myself be Catfished so I can meet him and try to put my hands through his salt and pepper locks.  What?  That's not creepy!!!

[DNR]

I empathize with Miranda, but here's the thing. She carried on this faux relationship for a year and a half, and also admitted to have been catfishing others from the age of 14. Perhaps instead of wasting so much time on the internet pursuing fake relationships, what if she spent that time on self-improvement?

I'm not fat-shaming here, because while I am fortunate not to have a problem with my weight, I certainly have plenty of friends who struggle. It's not all about the weight, because there are plenty of men who don't dismiss women as possible partners just because they are overweight. It is possible to be overweight and attractive, if you take the time to look for clothing that flatters your body type, find and maintain a hairstyle/hair color suitable for your skintone/features and face shape, learn how to use makeup and accessories to enhance your look, and work on your personality so that people will be drawn to you, want to spend time with you, and learn more about you and what you have to offer. You have to be willing to work with what you have and devote time to making sure you're presenting the best you possible. Even if you're thin and attractive, you can't expect other people to be interested in you if it appears you aren't interested in yourself.

It didn't appear Miranda has invested any time in any of those things. It may be her feelings of self-worth are so low, she can't. But if that's the case, then she needs to admit that to herself and get help - because that's the starting point if she truly wants to change her life.

Agree! Vince was not attractive AT ALL and Liz what the hell did you see in this 2 timing slug. Typical sad large Catfish but i thought her face was attractive and hopefully she can get her ish together. I'd think Vince wont have much luck finding dates in his town after this lol.
Max was on FIYAH? and I fell in love with him all over again

[DNR]

I swear man. Catfish stay making obese and lgbtq people look terrible. At least this one had a leg to stand on. Dude was shady as fuck. I just mean in general. The reveal is constantly those two types and not in flattering ways.

Look, I know I how how difficult it can be. I'm 280 lbs and 5'8. I've been a bigger guy most of my life. It's rough knowing that most women I'm interesting in would never even think of me in a romantic way. But, every time I see one of these reveals now, I'm just like "come on now".

Props for the little twist to this one. This wasn't like most of the others. But, man, I just wish people would focus on finding people that want them. That are right for them. Stop worrying about people that can't be bothered with the real you.

Yaaaaaaaas!!
Vince's head spaz out when Miranda said Oh yeah we've sexted ,I've got proof ~ wanna see?
It was a delicious Twist ! Hop on that supersize throne of lies with Miranda Vince! ( when he was so proud of his rehearsed throne line and it fell FLAT , I laughed out loud)

[Dee121]

I would really like to read or watch a crew interview on this one. The way even Nev was already seeming like he had enough Vince before the started the road trip makes me wonder just how badly he presented himself during the taping. I imagine the production crew could tell some interesting stories about most of these episodes.

[RCharter]

1 hour ago, Dee121 said:

I would really like to read or watch a crew interview on this one. The way even Nev was already seeming like he had enough Vince before the started the road trip makes me wonder just how badly he presented himself during the taping. I imagine the production crew could tell some interesting stories about most of these episodes.

I was shocked that Nev didn't even give a courtesy laugh at the "throne of lies" line that Vince threw out.  

Vince said it with such relish that you could tell he had been practicing it....and as nice a guy as Nev is, even if he didn't find it funny, he would at least give a courtesy laugh. 

[Teena]

From the very beginning, I kept yelling at my TV, like a lunatic: "why didn't you block her number"?   

You can block a number from your phone, you can block a person from Whatsapp, you can block people from Facebook---so, if his relationship with Liz was in jeopardy, why didn't he JUST BLOCK HER.  I knew it was because he was still into her.  She was his "vagina in a glass case" and when Liz left, he felt it was time to "break the glass"....

When Vince found out Alyssa was married and he acted all dejected, again, I asked "WHY DO YOU CARE?"........and my voice of reason said "because Liz has been gone 5 days and there is some SMASHING to be done!"  He was even willing to meet Miranda because that photo wasn't SO bad and perhaps.....well, SMASHING!!!

When it comes to being a FAT CHICK...check out my profile pic.  I'm a fat chick.  Always have been.  I met my awesome hubby of 11 years (that handsome drunk guy, also in my profile pic) online and I didn't lie to him.   I've done pretty well without using the internet, too.  I wish I could tell these girls--if you can't accept your weight---lose it.  If you can't lose it, embrace it!  Men like women with CONFIDENCE.

[LoneHaranguer]

1 hour ago, Teena said:

When Vince found out Alyssa was married and he acted all dejected, again, I asked "WHY DO YOU CARE?"........and my voice of reason said "because Liz has been gone 5 days and there is some SMASHING to be done!"

How did they get to producing this episode so fast? It used to take months after contacting the show for Nev & Max to be put on the case.

[MrsEVH]

This the first  episode I saw where they couldn't follow up with the person (Vince)  who called them in the first place. Has it happened before?

[Tailo]

I'm pretty sure they were talking about Dr Miami

[cherry slushie]

Was this episode the final one of the season? I just saw that there's no new episode this Wednesday.

[Tara Ariano]

4 hours ago, cherry slushie said:

Was this episode the final one of the season? I just saw that there's no new episode this Wednesday.

That was the midseason finale. Season 5 will resume in August.

[cherry slushie]

22 hours ago, Tara Ariano said:

That was the midseason finale. Season 5 will resume in August.

Gotcha! Thank you so much, Tara! :)

[TheVoicesToldMeTo]

On ‎5‎/‎13‎/‎2016 at 0:19 PM, LoneHaranguer said:

How did they get to producing this episode so fast? It used to take months after contacting the show for Nev & Max to be put on the case.

It still does.  The producers have to vet all of the potential stories and cast members and get waivers signed and then plan out the filming schedule, secure any Max-replacements, etc.  They can't just keep Nev and Max on the road perpetually, hoping a good case comes their way.  However, Nev and Max still have to keep up the façade that they are some sort of social media superheros that can be summoned to your crappy town by email within days.

[Jessika]

Hi - I watch the show in England and I look forward to Tara's reviews now more than the actual show :) I find the new sofas which are in every participant's house so funny since Tara pointed out that they all miraculously have them - I wonder if there is a special Catfish list of sofas to choose from! Although I guess they didn't feel like giving Melissa one in this episode, as at her house Nev makes a point of saying "It's a nice day, let's sit outside...".

So, I have been noticing the decor in all the rooms used in Catfish more carefully these days - and I am 100% certain that the investigation room in this episode has also been used in one of the other episodes this season. I recognise the unusual pictures on the wall that look like out-of-focus car lights, against a coffee coloured wall. I can't say for sure which episode (and perhaps it was a bedroom not investigation room too), as I don't have the episodes taped to go back through, but I think it was a fairly recent one. 

I wonder if the investigation was taped again afterwards, so that they could change something - after they realised the type of guy Vince was? It's hard to see how it couldn't be staged, if it was filmed in the same place as another episode.

[ktwo]

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So, I have been noticing the decor in all the rooms used in Catfish more carefully these days - and I am 100% certain that the investigation room in this episode has also been used in one of the other episodes this season. I recognise the unusual pictures on the wall that look like out-of-focus car lights, against a coffee coloured wall.

I forget where I read or heard this, but the crew actually travels with ready-to-hang hotel wall art so they can replace what's already on the walls with what they brought. Something about not being able to always clear or show the art that's in the hotel rooms where they need to film.