S04.E14: Where Are They Now? Melissa and Ashley

[HalcyonDays]

Episode synopsis: Melissa has become overwhelmed with four children, a suffering marriage and an unexpected pregnancy; when Ashley encounters problems on her weight loss journey, she searches for new inspiration to help her overcome failure.

 

[deedee2]

Melissa and Ashley both had gastric bypass, and years later, both put on a significant amount of weight. Does this mean they just stretched their stomach over time, and now the bypass is no longer effective?

Edited March 31, 2016 by deedee2

[Hero]

Melissa's husband got huge! She should have divorced him along time ago.

[non sequitur]

She should have left him after he was cheating in her first episode.

[Miss Ruth]

Gastric bypass only limits the amount of food one can eat at a time.  Some of them seem to think the surgery is a cure-all.  I'm reminded of Penny, who said, "I didn't know I'd have to lose weight when I got here."

Edited March 31, 2016 by Miss Ruth

[notyrmomma]

Melissa and Ashley both had gastric bypass, and years later, both put on a significant amount of weight. Does this mean they just stretched their stomach over time, and now the bypass is no longer effective?

I guess so! Yikes!  Although, Ashley always struggled to lose weight.  Melissa got to her goal weight, so it was very upsetting to see her so big.  Also remember, these are not your normal fat people, these two managed to be 500lbs+ overweight, so they had serious issues with food to begin with and probably don't represent your "normal," only 100 pound over weight, person.

 

Overall, I think it was a very "satisfying" episode.  I had been wondering about Ashley, she doesn't post much online.  It was also fun to see Christina (OMG!), Amber, what's his name from last season (can't remember and TLC's website sucks), and Pauline (still huge, imagine that!) It also looks like we are getting another follow-up next week on Paula.  

[Katt]

I did not recognise Paula! God, Ashley's mother's still a nasty old bag. 

[notyrmomma]

I guess Ashley's mom ended up getting the bypass too.  She didn't look that thin herself!  Also, did anyone notice that scene where Ashley was having dinner with her family, they were all big!  Even her little sister who was always thin, was huge.  Ashley's isn't any larger than any of them.

[Katt]

Wouldn't you have thought, after seeing herself on the original episode, Ashley's mother would have let up even a little bit? You're right, none of her family is exactly svelte.

 

ETA: I'm still watching it. I hope her mother is helping Ashley for Ashley's sake and not for the cameras. 

Edited March 31, 2016 by Katt

[operalover]

I really didnt need to see Melissa again and her idiot husband. They already did a follow up on her. In fact, I thought this was a re-run. How dumb to have a 3rd child with him. Doesn't look like they can barely afford the 2 they have and he doesn't help. why were there corndogs in the house? Most disgusting food ever invented. It's not even food. So many other people I was interested to see and they rehash Melissa. 

[gardendiva]

I was wondering why that niece and nephew living with Melissa and her husband couldn't help out with the kids instead of making Melissa give up a career that she loved to stay home and take care of all of them.

Not sure whether the niece and nephew also had jobs, but it looked at least as if the niece was around quite a bit.

I think Melissa's job working for Dr. Now as a patient liaison really helped keep her motivated and enthused about her life habits, and when she had to give that up, she became depressed. She only gained 20 lbs with the first baby, but 100 with the second. Big red flag. I hope she can change some circumstances in her life to get her back on solid ground, but I don't think having a third kid was the answer.

[gardendiva]

Sorry double post...slow wifi this morning.

Edited March 31, 2016 by gardendiva

[grumpypanda]

This update episode left me kind of sad. Although both women are actively working on losing weight again both of their lives are so depressing.

Melissa is stuck in a loveless marriage to a douche bag with five kids to take care of. She obviously loves her kids but she admitted that she misses working and now with another baby it's unlikely that she'll be able to work anytime soon.

She just seemed so lonely and isolated with no support from anyone. I hope that she can continue to go to meetings and the gym just to get some time to focus on herself. I wonder who watches the kids while she's away. I can't imagine her lazy ass husband doing it.

Ashley's life didn't seem much better but at least she has friends and gets out. Yes she's still big but not big enough where she can't get a job or go to school though. It just seems like she's always going to have an excuse as to why she can't do things. Her legs are bad I understand that but that's even more reason to lose the weight to get the damn surgery. Losing 2 pounds in three months is not trying.

[operalover]

Pauline, lol, still hanging in there at 405 pounds!! In her wheelchair with her blanket. How much did Christina weigh? MY close captioning said 407- but she looked more like 127. I rewound it back 3 times and the sound is just impossible to make out what she said her weight was.

[CousinOliver]

I was wondering why that niece and nephew living with Melissa and her husband couldn't help out with the kids instead of making Melissa give up a career that she loved to stay home and take care of all of them.

Not sure whether the niece and nephew also had jobs, but it looked at least as if the niece was around quite a bit.

I think Melissa's job working for Dr. Now as a patient liaison really helped keep her motivated and enthused about her life habits, and when she had to give that up, she became depressed. She only gained 20 lbs with the first baby, but 100 with the second. Big red flag. I hope she can change some circumstances in her life to get her back on solid ground, but I don't think having a third kid was the answer.

Melissa's neice and nephew are both minor children, still in school. It'd be quite unfair to take in her sister's children to raise and then make them earn their keep while they're still kids themselves.

[gardendiva]

I misunderstood. I thought the niece and nephew had 2 kids of their own...I was thinking there were 4 extra people in he house. Sorry...I was cooking while watching the show and should have paid better attention.

[Cherrio]

Dr. Now did say that both Melissa and Ashley could be right back at their original weights, so to answer the earlier poster, it seems that you can gain it all back even after surgery.

    So many of these people should of never ever ever been approved for surgery.  They needed and obviously still needs serious therapy.  They both seem to still have the same problems. Melissa even said the doctor did surgery on her stomach, not her brain.

      I agree that they both look and seem so sad (depressed). Crappy husband, piece of shit mother.  But, both woman are responsible for continuing their behavior.

                  Melissa is also perpetuating her bad eating habits on her children.   She does NOT have to make them grilled cheese dripping in fat. C'mom.

         Ashley can enjoy a night out without consuming deep fried balls dipped in fat.

                     Dr. Now really stuck it to Penny.  Ha Ha

[Ocean Chick]

Yes, her niece and nephew looked to be pre-teen or early teen years, so making them into au pairs would not be a good thing, even if it worked out for Melissa.  I really hope she finds a balance in her life.  I think therapy would be a good place to start.  And finding a few female friends as well.  If she had friends and family in her life, then she wouldn't have needed to worry quite so much about who was going to be cooking healthy food for her when she got home with the new baby.  Glad she finally got a clue regarding what to do with that loser husband of hers.

 

I didn't think Ashley's mom was so horrible.  She really did seem to care about Ashley - just clueless about how to go about it, which is why she kept commenting about her weight.  I think she really did think her nagging would help Ashley lose weight.  Many people do.  I know my own mother tried that tactic on me as a child - trying to make me conscious about what I was eating and how much.  It doesn't work though - just made me want to eat more of the bad stuff in defiance.  Glad to see the 2 of them making an effort to get exercise and repair their relationship in the end.  I hope Ashley can finally lose enough weight to get her legs fixed.  Those things looked awful.

 

Did anyone else watch the episode following this one - the Moments of Truth?  Nothing ground breaking, but still interesting.

[operalover]

AT the birth of the first baby, Melissa said to the newborn "no fast food for you" then the dinner is biscuits and ham with no veggies just pure fat. I mean 3 little kids with an infant is very difficult- been there, done that! She doesn't need that loser husband not helping.  

 

Lol at the recap of Penny WHERES MY YELLOW BRICK ROAD!!!!!!!!! ha ha ha ha ha gotta love that bitch

[CousinOliver]

Is it my imagination, or did Melissa say she was leaving Chris at the end of the show. I mean, I know she's been saying that since the first child was a toddler, but she did say it again, right?

I'd like to say she'd be "better off without him", but five kids, 3 littles and two preteens/young teens, and no job does not an easy life make. :/ I'm genuinely wishing her the best in situations well beyond weight loss.

[Twopper]

These people don't have scales?    I am so glad Dr Now mentioned to Ashley she could weigh herself on a normal scale now so she really has no excuse for letting the weight "creep up."  And the same for Melissa.  If I had gained so much weight that I needed special scales and gastric surgery to loose weight, the first thing I would buy after I got under 300 pounds would be a regular scale and I would weigh myself at least once a week to keep in the right direction or at least maintain. 

[operalover]

Was the second hour of the show just a rehash of the episodes? I wish they would have given an update on those people but they did not.

 

Cousin Oliver, I also wish the best for Melissa- her plate is so full right now. I wish she had a helpful partner. 3 children was too many to have with that asshole.

[grumpypanda]

Someone refresh my memory, I recall Melissa's first pregnancy being featured on her original episode and her gaining a huge amount of weight but now she's claiming to have only gained twenty pounds. Am I crazy? Maybe I'm thinking of someone else but I remember a scene from her baby shower where she looked really big.

[ClareWalks]

Ashley's mom sucks. Constantly badgering her about her weight, damn. If I were Ashley I'd be like "I have some advice for YOU, mom. Look in a mirror." 

 

 

why were there corndogs in the house? Most disgusting food ever invented. It's not even food.

 

*whispers* I like corndogs. *hides in a closet* ;)

[Twopper]

 

Someone refresh my memory, I recall Melissa's first pregnancy being featured on her original episode and her gaining a huge amount of weight but now she's claiming to have only gained twenty pounds. Am I crazy? Maybe I'm thinking of someone else but I remember a scene from her baby shower where she looked really big.

 I think she meant she only retained 20 pounds of the pregnancy weight after the baby was born, but I could be wrong.  

 

I agree with whoever it was mentioned food choices for the children.  I know I am old, but neither my parents or grandparents or aunts ever prepared meals for children after we were able to eat solid foods; we were expected to eat adult meals with smaller portions.  Never saw a corn dog until I went to a fair.  We did occasionally cook out and have hamburgers and/or hotdogs. Bake a turkey, bake some sweet potatoes to go with it, steam some broccoli to go with.  Have a small roll with butter and a small scoop of sherbet for dessert so you don't feel deprived. 

 

She is going to sabotage herself by dieting with cottage cheese while everyone else eats normal food.  With both her and her hubby having weight issues, I am afraid all 5 children are at risk for super obesity---three from genetics plus lousy food choices and the other two from living with Melissa and her food choices for them. I wish I thought I was wrong about this.

[grumpypanda]

I think she meant she only retained 20 pounds of the pregnancy weight after the baby was born, but I could be wrong.

I agree with whoever it was mentioned food choices for the children. I know I am old, but neither my parents or grandparents or aunts ever prepared meals for children after we were able to eat solid foods; we were expected to eat adult meals with smaller portions. Never saw a corn dog until I went to a fair. We did occasionally cook out and have hamburgers and/or hotdogs. Bake a turkey, bake some sweet potatoes to go with it, steam some broccoli to go with. Have a small roll with butter and a small scoop of sherbet for dessert so you don't feel deprived.

She is going to sabotage herself by dieting with cottage cheese while everyone else eats normal food. With both her and her hubby having weight issues, I am afraid all 5 children are at risk for super obesity---three from genetics plus lousy food choices and the other two from living with Melissa and her food choices for them. I wish I thought I was wrong about this.

I guess she could have been referring to after the pregnancy but at one point she was down to the one fifties and I don't remember her ever looking anywhere near that thin again once she had Alana. Maybe she did for a short time before she got pregnant with her son though. I hope she sticks with it this time, I really like Melissa and I'm rooting for her.

Anyway, as far as meals goes, I stay at home with a toddler and she eats whatever we eat for dinner but I don't usually eat breakfast or lunch so I fix something just for her for those meals.

Edited March 31, 2016 by grumpypanda

[dahling]

I think Christina said she was 177.  I rewound it to be sure because it was kind of murky.

 

I also think Melissa might be engaging in some wishful retcon when she says she only gained 20 lbs with her first pregnancy.  She gained so much that it was a storyline.  I'm not judging, because I could join her at the table of Queens of Pregnancy Weight Gain, but she has never recovered completely from the first one (neither have I... 23 years later...).  

 

It's pretty sobering to see these ladies 10 years later still overweight and still struggling.  To be sure, their lives are totally different at 200+ lbs than at 600+ lbs, and I'm happy for them!  But now it seems like they're just having to diet like everybody else, and that the surgery is not really a factor any more.  

 

Ashley's poor legs.  They are so awful.  I am unclear on what kind of operation can be performed on them?  It doesn't look like just loose skin that can be removed.  

[Azubah]

I am not a doctor, but I would bet a shiny nickel that Ashley has lipedema. If you google some images of lipedema, you'll see her legs are just textbook. And if that's true, then skin surgery is not an option, and the only successful procedure available is water-assisted liposuction. Not many US surgeons perform WAL. I haven't finished watching the episode yet, so I don't know if Dr. Now got around to diagnosing that. I've never seen him do so. Also, regular dieting won't touch lipedema. You can have an anorexic upper body and still have the column-like legs with the ankle "cuff". 

 

A whole bunch of these people need a second opinion beyond Dr. Now. 

[CouchTater]

From my shallow side: 

Melissa looks so much older at her thinner, current weight (275).  At her thinnest (135-ish) she looked absolutely horrible! 

And, are Ashley's arms disproportionate to the rest of her body?  I kept being distracted by them.

 

The amount of physical damage that's done by the super-obesity is really formidable. 

[OhioMom]

I guess Ashley's mom ended up getting the bypass too.  She didn't look that thin herself!  Also, did anyone notice that scene where Ashley was having dinner with her family, they were all big!  Even her little sister who was always thin, was huge.  Ashley's isn't any larger than any of them.

I was wondering why Ashley was eating out of that giant bowl.  Don't they still need to limit the amount of food they eat??

[OhioMom]

I wonder if that mean old guy who said to Melissa in the grocery story, "Smilin' huh?" and then to his friend, "You see, when you get bigger, you just get yourself a bigger wagon!", ever saw this show and saw himself on there?

 

I always feel so bad for her when I see that clip.

[Pepper Mostly]

    

                  Melissa is also perpetuating her bad eating habits on her children.   She does NOT have to make them grilled cheese dripping in fat. C'mom.

         Ashley can enjoy a night out without consuming deep fried balls dipped in fat.

                     Dr. Now really stuck it to Penny.  Ha Ha

Right? Hearing her say "well, I need to lose weight, but I have to prepare food for MY FAMILY" had me raging. Honey, newsflash, they can eat healthy too! It sounded for all the world like the rationalizations we hear time and time again on these shows--"the only thing we can get is fast food" "I'm trying to cut back, I know my own body" "if I don't eat something I'll get nauseous! well, I guess I'll have to have this double cheese smothered fatburger with extra grease...."

 

And Ashley dunking her deep fried mushrooms in ranch. Its like they don't know any other kind of food exists!

[ClareWalks]

Right? Hearing her say "well, I need to lose weight, but I have to prepare food for MY FAMILY" had me raging. Honey, newsflash, they can eat healthy too! It sounded for all the world like the rationalizations we hear time and time again on these shows--"the only thing we can get is fast food" "I'm trying to cut back, I know my own body" "if I don't eat something I'll get nauseous! well, I guess I'll have to have this double cheese smothered fatburger with extra grease...."

 

Don't forget my personal favorite: "I feel like I'm STARVING!" That is a massive insult to actually-starving people. Children in Africa who are so malnourished their bellies are distended. The *excess* food Americans eat (not hatin', I'm American too) could literally feed a continent.

[OSM Mom]

*whispers* I like corndogs. *hides in a closet* ;)

*grabs some delicious corn dogs and hides in the closet with ClareWalks*

[Hero]

It's so easy to prepare healthy, delicious food for your family. Melissa and the rest of them have so many things that they can eat, you just have to be creative with it. 

 

Instead of mashed potatoes, make cauliflower "mashed potatoes." So many vegetables taste delicious when roasted. Roasted chicken is delicious. Try out different seasonings. Really, just be creative. Buy a cookbook, it's not that hard.

[Cherrio]

It's so easy to prepare healthy, delicious food for your family. Melissa and the rest of them have so many things that they can eat, you just have to be creative with it. 

 

Instead of mashed potatoes, make cauliflower "mashed potatoes." So many vegetables taste delicious when roasted. Roasted chicken is delicious. Try out different seasonings. Really, just be creative. Buy a cookbook, it's not that hard.

Yes !        That was my motto, there is always a healthy substitute for bad choices.

                None of them have learned this it seems, which makes surgery a really bad choice and all the problems and permanent struggles it brings with it.

[grumpypanda]

*grabs some delicious corn dogs and hides in the closet with ClareWalks*

Do you have room in that closet for one more? Yes, I do on occasion make my family corn dogs for dinner but in my defense more often than not I cook pretty healthy and none of us are obese.

[aliya]

I was wondering why Ashley was eating out of that giant bowl.  Don't they still need to limit the amount of food they eat??

I have a friend who is 10+ years out. She eats whatever she wants and in whatever amount. She's still minimum 100 lbs overweight and never got to goal w/the surgery.

[operalover]

Don't forget my personal favorite: "I feel like I'm STARVING!" That is a massive insult to actually-starving people. Children in Africa who are so malnourished their bellies are distended. The *excess* food Americans eat (not hatin', I'm American too) could literally feed a continent.My

My personal favorite is Penny: I KNOW that eating deep fried wontons is better for me than me not eating anything! BWAHAAAHHAAAA they showed that clip again last night!

[OSM Mom]

Do you have room in that closet for one more? Yes, I do on occasion make my family corn dogs for dinner but in my defense more often than not I cook pretty healthy and none of us are obese.

Come on in! Bring some mustard too please.

[mrsjoe]

Pauline, lol, still hanging in there at 405 pounds!! In her wheelchair with her blanket. How much did Christina weigh? MY close captioning said 407- but she looked more like 127. I rewound it back 3 times and the sound is just impossible to make out what she said her weight was.

  

I think Christina said she was 177.  I rewound it to be sure because it was kind of murky.

 

I rewound as well because she looks so tiny, and I also believe she said 177. I wonder how tall she is. Looks like she has permanently increased her body density and weight by her morbid obesity because she looked lower than that.

It's pretty sobering to see these ladies 10 years later still overweight and still struggling.  To be sure, their lives are totally different at 200+ lbs than at 600+ lbs, and I'm happy for them!  But now it seems like they're just having to diet like everybody else, and that the surgery is not really a factor any more

I thought so too. Melissa is one of the more successful participants on the show and is still back-sliding terribly. Makes you really worry about the ones that struggled from day 1. I believe this is also the answer to everyone who asks why after they lose 100 on their own does Dr. Now not have them keep going no surgery. Even with the surgery, they are struggling to keep it below 300. No surgery and I'm sure they would have just kept gaining. Even Christine who seems to be maintaining her goal weight seemed to come awfully close to an eating disorder in her follow up, so I'm not sure that's really a success either.

Pauline was a bit of a surprise. Somehow I didn't see her as the heading to support sessions type. And honestly the fact that she is "only" 405 makes me wonder if she has learned a thing or two finally.

And I'm right there with all of you on the WTH with her family REQUIRING junk foods. It's clearly an excuse to eat those foods herself and to save herself arguing with everyone over the food, especially her morbidly obese useless husband. She's so depressed, she doesn't have the energy to fight them anymore, so she just feeds them junk everyone likes.

[Pepperminty]

this seemed like a pretty thorough retrospective -- is this show going off the air or something?

[Lightning]

I watched the second half of the "where are they now?" show when Melissa went to the support group.   The dark-haired girl who spoke after Christina (I think her name was Amber) -- was she one of the people who was on the show last season?  She said she had weighed "660-ish", but now didn't know what she weighed.  She still looked very large, especially when she stood up at the end.   Watching these follow-up shows -- you can really see that surgery is not the "magic bullet", or the "easy way" as many people think.    My husband watched part of this episode with me when they showed Melissa at her heaviest, at her thinnest, and when she was almost 300 again.  He said "so your stomach can stretch out again??".  He was surprised that people can gain their weight back.  

As for the people that get within 100 lbs. of "goal weight", I read that if you are super heavy before surgery, this often happens.  Still much healthier than carrying around 400 lbs, but surgery will only help you so much, and the rest you have to do yourself.

[notyrmomma]

  

I rewound as well because she looks so tiny, and I also believe she said 177. I wonder how tall she is. Looks like she has permanently increased her body density and weight by her morbid obesity because she looked lower than that.

 

Christina may also still have a lot of excess skin which could add another 20 - 50 pounds to someone's weight.  I'm pretty sure she got the non-cosmetic portion of her skin removed (stomach apron and it looks like she may have gotten a breast reduction).  If she were able to get cosmetic plastic surgery, she would probably weight about 130.

[ClareWalks]

My personal favorite is Penny: I KNOW that eating deep fried wontons is better for me than me not eating anything! BWAHAAAHHAAAA they showed that clip again last night!

 

Lord help that woman, I swear. I frequently advise my clients that after a long, hard workout (90+ minutes) it is better to eat a donut (or anything, really) than eat nothing at all, but that's to restore lost macronutrients and electrolytes, not to refuel after a grueling day of LAYING THERE MOTIONLESS.

[operalover]

Pauline was a bit of a surprise. Somehow I didn't see her as the heading to support sessions type. And honestly the fact that she is "only" 405 makes me wonder if she has learned a thing or two finally.

 

 

I am POSITIVE that she paid to appear at the support group! She looked miserable and the last place she wanted to be.

[fonfereksglen]

Interesting to see two of the 7-year originals featured together.  I believe I heard Dr. Now say that Ashley was one of the first 600+ patients to receive gastric bypass, and the medical community was still unsure if surgery was effective for patients with that level of morbid obesity. Which could explain this recent follow up, since neither Ashley nor Melissa had been to the clinic in a bit. 

 

At the end of Ashley's original story, following the death of her beloved father, she had moved back in with her horrible mother, and I wondered how successful that would be.  (If you didn't see the original, try to find it. That women could never say anything nice about Ashley.)  Poor young woman.  She seems not to have taken full advantage of her weight loss opportunity when she was so much younger, and now, she's still stuck in neutral.

 

The dynamics of Melissa's life have always been a bit of a mess.  That husband.  However, Chris is one of the few partners that has always supported his wife, and now family, financially.  But what a stressful situation in her home life!  Hopefully, becoming involved in the weight loss program again, will get her, and her children, back to eating better. 

 

It's easy to criticize the snapshots we see of these people.  Sure, they can make better choices. But I views programs like this, especially Intervention, as cautionary tales.  There is something we can all learn from others. 

[Actualized Peggy]

Possibly OT, but…

 

I’ve noticed in Melissa’s segments something I have seen a lot on this show (and other shows featuring families on TLC, to be honest) that they were using paper plates to eat at home. What is up with that?

 

In Melissa’s specific case, with 5 kids and a useless husband who probably doesn’t even help dry the dishes (although the niece and nephew were certainly old enough to be asked to lend a hand with such a simple task), I can sorta see trying to save yourself some work. But her’s is by no means the only family I’ve seen do this on this show. In most other case, it truly baffles me. And I say this as someone who despises doing the dishes.

 

Do these people just not even give a little bit of a damn about the environment?

Edited April 1, 2016 by Actualized Peggy

[Pepper Mostly]

I always notice the lack of crockery in these shows. Paper plates, plastic cups. No one goes to Target and gets a set of dishes? Drives me nuts. I especially love it when people are setting the table, with plastic ware, paper plates, and solo cups. Melissa also seemed to have those disposable foil pans rather than a roasting pan or bakeware. Sucks for the environment and expensive.

[OSM Mom]

These people are too lazy to cook a decent meal, much less do any dishes.